


Stardom

by Xray_Craven



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AC/DC References, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Based on a Beatles Song, Breathplay, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Disney Songs, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Issues, Hey Jude, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Twitter, Internet Famous, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, My Sister Is Scared Of My Tags, Oral Sex, Paparazzi, References to the Beatles, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Singing, Size Difference, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Social Media, Soft Armitage Hux, Soft Ben Solo, Soft Rey (Star Wars), Twitter, Voice Kink, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 171
Words: 169,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xray_Craven/pseuds/Xray_Craven
Summary: Youtube-turned-mainstream rockstar Rey Johnson admitted to having a celebrity crush on A-list actor Ben Solo during a livestream just before her album's release. Ben's manager Hux finds out and shenanigans ensue as he and Rey's friends, try to subtly get them together with the help of social media.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1390
Kudos: 1179
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. That British Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first time I've posted on AO3 and the first fan fiction I've written and posted in a long, long time. Please bear with me and do comment for suggestions and opinions. Thank you.

“Hey everyone, this is That British Girl, your Rey of Sunshine live to answer some of the questions you all have been asking.” Rey adjusted her laptop on the coffee table, “For those of you who’ve only heard of me now, I do _do_ live shows every now and again to answer the most common questions you have.” The numbers on the screen ticked up and she smiled hugely at the first question that popped up on the screen.

She adjusted the pink cat-ear headphones on her head and cleared her throat, “Right then, what am I drinking right now?” She chuckled and looked into the giant cat mug she was holding, “Well it’s dead of winter and I hate the cold so I’m having Mexican Hot Chocolate. It’s my mum’s recipe,” She winked into the camera, “I’ll post it on my social media accounts right after this livestream.”

More questions popped up as she sipped from her mug. Nights like these she missed her mum. She had been old when she’d adopted Rey after she had been left bouncing from one foster home to another and she tried her best raising the preteen nobody seemed to want.

“Yes, my mum was a lovely lady. She died right after I graduated high school,” She smiled at the influx of condolences and moved on to other, more mundane questions about life and work and school. She was a YouTube musician, not quite a rockstar yet, but gaining more mainstream popularity.

“Do I have a celebrity crush?” She laughed, “I think I get that question quite often these days. Do I _really_ look that lonely?” She took a long drink, savouring the earthy, spicy taste of cinnamon and chipotle and sighed, “Well, I _do_ have one.” She laughed when the comments was flooded with questions and guesses, “I do believe you all know who he is, he starred in a sci-fi trilogy not too long ago.” She laughed again, “Yes, yes, it’s most definitely Ben Solo.”

More questions popped up and she took the time to formulate her answer, “Why? I mean, you’ve _seen_ him. He’s not conventionally handsome but he looks nice and has that dimple and he has that intensity,” She bit her lip and shrugged, “I guess I have a thing for big, broody men.” She laughed again, “And I mean, have you all _heard_ him? I don’t know, I might have a voice kink.” More comments about her choice of word, “No, I don’t mean what’s in his pants,” She laughed and felt heat suffuse her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if it was the spice in her chocolate or embarrassment.

“Well, I wouldn’t know about that,” She answered a comment about how he would probably be big all over, “I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever meet him. Not that I do want to, I’ll probably embarrass myself.” She laughed again, “I’m such an awkward bean in real life what more to my celebrity crush, right? Plus he’s older and had like a string of model girlfriends who are like, a head taller than me. Me? I’m just a YouTuber, we have totally different circles.”

“Oh but do definitely watch the new movie. Personally I love and hate it at the same time,” She sighed, “I don’t know but I do really ship the two characters and I don’t want to spoil so you guys watch it yourselves,” She laughed again, “I know I’m just biased.”

For the next half-hour she answered some more questions about her life and the album she’s been working on for the past year and a half with her manager.

“It looks like our time’s up you guys! Stay tuned for more details about the release and I have a gig on Saturday at the Cantina. I hope to see some of you there. Til next time!”

She ended the livestream and closed her eyes before pulling off her headphones. The apartment was suddenly so quiet. She sat there, her back resting on the soft pink sofa, and wished she didn’t feel so alone.

—

“Guess what,” Hux had always been chipper in the mornings. Ben sighed and rubbed his eyes, wondering why his childhood friend and manager was wandering around in his condo at seven in the morning.

“What?” Ben sighed again and yawned, pushing his long, unruly hair from his face. He dragged himself out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen where his coffee machine was already bubbling away. Thank fuck he remembered to set the timer.

“You're trending on Twitter.” He never got rid of his thick British accent even though he moved to the States at such a young age. He was bullied in school for both his hair and that accent. That was how Ben had met him. Ben didn’t like bullies and he had been big for his age.

“What did I do this time?” Ben sighed, already feeling so tired. Or was it that he’s always tired? He got his cup of coffee and offered Hux one too. The redhead shook his head.

“Nothing.” Hux continued to grin hugely, “The hashtags are hilarious. Ben Swolo, Big Ben, Celebrity Crush,” Ben rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t do shit.”

“I know, and the studio called and said that there’s a sudden surge of interest in your movie in the last twenty-four hours from a demography we didn’t expect.”

“Oh?” He tried to sound interested, he really did, but his acting skills were pretty much limited to the studio and definitely not this early in the morning.

Hux didn’t seem to mind, “It’s because of That British Girl.”

“What British girl?” Ben raked his mind trying to remember if he met a British girl recently and coming out blank.

Hux chuckled, “No, you big lug, That British Girl.” He laughed harder upon seeing Ben’s blank expression, “She’s an up-and-coming rockstar type on YouTube. I hear Resistance had signed her on.” He eyed his friend who stared into his coffee, black, of course, with a deceptively blank face.

“That’s nice.” Ben finally said.

Hux cleared his throat and pulled out his phone, “Anyway, Rose loves her.” He opened up the recording of the livestream and Ben was struck by the husky laugh that came from it.

“…most definitely Ben Solo,” Her accent was so very similar to Hux’s but not, and it sent shivers down his spine.

“The comments on this are hilarious.” Hux chuckled, “People are wondering what you’re hiding in your pants.”

Ben rolled his eyes, “Ever wonder if maybe she’s using my name to promote herself?”

“ _You’re_ trending, not her.” Hux said and went around the counter so he can lean against it, next to Ben, “I mean look at her, do you think she can do something like that?”

Ben looked at the girl with the cat ears and frowned, no, she didn’t look like the kind who could use someone else to boost her popularity, “She doesn’t look like the type Resistance signs on.” She looked…cozy. The oversized sweater she wore was falling off onetanned shoulder and it looked as though she was sitting on the floor. She laughed again and his frown deepened. She was cute, that was for damn sure.

“She’s like those Baby Metal types,” He arched a brow at Hux, “You know, Baby Metal, they toured with Judas Priest.” Hux snorted back a laugh at Ben’s blank stare, “The fuck, Solo. What rock have you been living under?” He shook his head, “Anyway, you’re the one trending right now because of her. Her fans are the ones supporting you right now. The press might ask you about it later so I suggest you look her up,”

Ben scowled. He forgot about the press junket, “You seem to know a lot about this girl,”

“Of course. You’re suddenly trending and it’s my job to find out why. Aside from Phas has been blowing up my phone since four in the morning. She thinks it’s a good idea for your to go and meet this girl. She has a performance at the Cantina this Saturday; Rose wants to go so I’m taking her. You should come with.”

Ben shook his head, “No thanks. I have no interest in meeting fans.”

“Come on, Solo. We can just hang out, you know, have a drink. When was the last time we hung out?”

“No.”

Hux sighed and shook his head, “Well anyway, you should get ready for the junket, yeah?” He nodded and Hux closed the app and pocketed his phone, “Don’t say anything stupid.”

“I can’t promise that.” He smirked and Hux rolled his eyes, “Gotta make sure my manager works hard,”

“Why are we even friends?” The redhead sighed and shook his head.


	2. Internet's Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if there are any mistakes and corrections to be made especially with regards to Youtube and Twitter (as I do not have either; are they still a thing?)

As usual the cameras were flashing and the lights were too bright. Ben forced himself to smile and ignore the migraine already beginning behind his eye. His co-stars were asked various questions and he tuned it out until it was his turn.

“Tell us Ben, how do you feel about being the new Internet’s Boyfriend?” 

Ben laughed, “I don’t know about being the Internet’s Boyfriend but I _am_ surprised to say the least.”

“Did you know you’ve been trending for the past twenty-four hours?” He confirmed that yes, he did, “Have you met this girl? We hear she’s a big fan of yours and what’s in your pants,” The reporter waggled his eyebrows and there were a few chuckles in the audience.

Ben forced a laugh, “No, I’m afraid we’ve never met but I am very flattered that she thinks I’m celebrity-crush worthy,”

“She’s said that she doesn’t want to meet you, does that bother you?”

It did, in truth. Usually fans tripped all over themselves trying to meet him but for her to openly admit that she didn’t want to meet him and embarrass herself…that was different. “I mean, to each their own. I’m sure she has a reason why and I’m a little worried about not living up to expectations so,” He shrugged. The reporters moved on tasking about his love life or current lack of, and his opinion on the ending of their trilogy, circling back, again, to That British Girl. He still had no clue what her name was, having skipped much of her video only so he had an idea what the potential questions the reporters would give him would be.

Maybe he’ll look her up again later, see if her laugh affects him now that he’s not feeling like the living dead. Really, Hux knew him well enough that he’s not exactly the most functional adult that early in the morning especially without coffee.

—

“Ooo, baby girl, Ben Solo’s talking about your livestream!” Rey almost choked on her gingerbread latte when her best friend Finn started squealing in the coffeeshop.

“You’re supposed to be writing,” She admonished but pulled out her phone anyway to watch the livestream of his press con.

“…very flattered that she thinks I’m celebrity-crush worthy,” She suppressed a shiver when she heard his deep voice in her ears. Really, his voice should be illegal. She promised herself she wouldn’t watch until after, when she can be safe in her room where she can squeal and giggle and be embarrassed without anyone witnessing. Yet here she was, watching anyway, and definitely getting embarrassed because she didn’t expect that her livestream would make him trend.

When Poe, her friend and manager called her this morning telling her about it and how Ben Solo’s PR Manager, Phasma had called him, she couldn’t quite believe it. Phasma had even sent her merchandise as thanks, merchandise like the Kylo Ren hoodie she was currently wearing. Maybe she’ll wear it in her next video.

“Man, look at you,” Finn snickered and she waved him off. She didn’t even notice how he took a photo of her to send to Poe, “Poe said he can always arrange for a meet and greet you know,”

Rey flushed and shook her head, “No. I’d rather admire from afar.”

“Come on, Rey Bey,” Finn scooted over next to her, “You don’t have to be so shy. You’re not the same girl as back then. You’re getting famous now,”

“I’m nobody, Finn.”

“Same as me but look at us now,” Finn grinned, his white teeth stark against his dark skin.

“Just let me get a bit more famous, maybe then I’ll get enough confidence.”

“Someone might catch him before you do.”

“Then I’ll happily watch from afar,” She said again and pushed him away, “Now go write your thing, you have a deadline.”

Finn laughed and moved his seat back to its original position, “Yes ma’am. You’re even bossier than my editor.”

Rey stuck her tongue out and focused on the livestream.

—

She had a new video. Ben figured it was as good a start as any. Just how many followers does this girl have? He couldn’t figure out what exactly she vlogs about. He’s seen some of her covers, had no idea that cute and rock can go so well together like that, but somehow it worked.

He’d also looked up Baby Metal.

The video started as it always did, with her introducing herself. What shocked him though, was what she wore. It was a large hoodie with the Kylo Ren helm, one he hadn’t seen in their line of products before.

“So anyway, thank you guys so much, someone sent these,” She proceeds to show off the merchandise that Phasma had sent her including a giant mug shaped like, again, his helmet, “From First Order and I would never have gotten any of these if it weren’t for you so as thanks, I would like to giveaway some of the merch the team and I were working on.” She showed a bunch of things, shirts, mugs, strange creepy-looking dolls that people seem to find cute, “We haven’t actually officially released these yet; they’re samples and first prints, you see, and,” She laughed and Ben suppressed a shiver, “Yes, I _did_ ask Poe first if I could do this.”

He watched the whole thing. She explained how she’d be doing the give-away, again thanking her supporters and laughing that husky laugh that made the hairs at the back of his neck stand.

He wondered if he should join the give-away just because.

She was awfully cute, with a bright smile and a dimple to match. She linked a website and he clinked on it absent-mindedly. It wouldn’t really hurt, would it? What are the odds that he’d win anyway?

The website was all soft pinks and greys and blacks with a large banner featuring her soon-to-be-released album. He followed the links and inputted his nondescript personal email.

He released a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding and ran his fingers through his hair. What was he doing?

He started on her livestream video from the previous night. Your ray of sunshine, she said. Whose? He never bothered much with YouTubers, never really had the time to waste watching videos, but something about her; in her eyes, he saw the same loneliness in them that he felt. He continued watching, one video after the other.

She always looked so happy and cheerful but when she sang, he felt it deep in his bones. She was lonely and hiding it well.

Just like him.

By the time he looked up it was already nearing four in the morning. He wasn’t even nearly half-way through all her videos.

He grabbed his phone and messaged Hux.

_I’ll be there on Saturday._

Hux didn’t reply, how could he? Ben was sure his friend would be tangled up in bed with his long-time girlfriend. He felt a pang in his chest; when was the last time he’d had a serious relationship?

A string of model girlfriends she said. She wasn’t all correct. None of them were really _girlfriends,_ they couldn’t even really be considered _friends_ since they all just followed what their managers or producers said, anything for the star power. He was guilty of the same sin.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again. He should probably try to get some rest. Hux would be on his ass again so early in the morning, and he still had to go to gym and train before attending yet another meeting with the studio.

He closed his laptop and placed it on his bedside table before closing the lamp and settling down in bed.

He wanted so badly to be different from his parents but where did he end up in the end? In show business, just like them. Granted it was a different kind of show business, but show business nonetheless.

He closed his eyes and wished for a dreamless sleep.


	3. Hey Jude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions are always welcome! Also thank you for the support, I honestly did not expect that :) Will try to find a good update schedule. Posted this chapter because I'm a very impatient bitch. -X
> 
> ALSO:
> 
> TW: Cancer

Ben met Hux and Rose outside the Cantina. He wore an old, comfortable plain black winter hoodie, hood over his head of course, ripped jeans and a pair of scuffed boots. Hux raised a brow.

“Oof, I haven’t seen you wear this style in years,” He himself wore a leather jacket over a shirt and jeans, “Rose is already inside getting us a table,”

It was nice to be anonymous every once in a while, still, Ben kept his head down and his shoulders slouched, as though doing so would make him seem just a little bit smaller.

Hux was right though, he rarely wore clothes this comfortable ever since he shot up to stardom. It was nice.

“Hey Ben!” Rose grinned when they arrived at the table she secured. It was surprisingly packed with people talking excitedly about who he now knows as _Rey_ of sunshine, and not ray.

Rose was a cute, curvy Vietnamese girl Hux had met by chance back. His car had broken down in the middle of nowhere and the nearest garage was the one Rose’s family owned. She had gone to tow his car back and the rest was history.

“I have to say I was really surprised when Armie said you’d be joining us tonight. I didn’t think you listened to Rey Johnson.” She said and hailed a waiter, “Three beers please!” She said with a friendly smile. Her leather jacket matched Hux’s but she wore some sort of frilly, tutu-esque dress underneath.

“I didn’t,” Ben replied, “Hux said it was a good idea.”

Hux snorted, “Since when did you ever listen to me? I bet you’re curious about this girl. She netted you about a million more followers in one night you’d think she’s some sort of magician.”

Ben only shrugged and accepted his beer from the waiter.

Somebody cleared their throat and they all turned to the small stage at the far corner of the bar. She had worn a pink leather jacket, a fitted black top of some sort, and a frilly black and pink checkered skirt paired with a pair of scuffed boots.

“Good evening, everyone,” Live, her voice was even huskier, something that should be kept in the bedroom and not in front of the crowd whose attention she so easily held captive. Maybe Hux was onto something, maybe she _was_ a magician because he too couldn’t bear to look away as she introduced herself. Maybe _he_ had a voice kink too.

He kept quiet, nibbling on nachos and nursing his beer while trying not to sing a long to her like everybody else.

“I always wanted to see her live,” Rose whispered, awestruck, “I told you she’s amazing,”

Hux made a noncommittal sound but Ben knew he liked it. He was sure Rose did too because she giggled.

He might have listened to her older, online album in the past three days enough times to actually know every word in her songs. The genre wasn’t usually his style but he found himself lost in her music every time he put on his earphones.

It was ridiculous.

Halfway through she started asking for song requests and he tore his gaze away from her only to meet Hux’s speculative look and smug smile.

He scowled.

—

Rey notices people when she’s on stage. She remembers some of the familiar faces of the people watching her and remembers the newer ones, grateful everyday for the new people coming to see her. She especially notices when there’s something different about them like the trio she’d never seen before.

She knew the redhead and the tiny woman were a couple by the way they looked at each other and that she had been the one to bring him there but she couldn’t fathom who the other one is. She never really had a lot of the macho types as supporters. Maybe that was why he kept his hood up, to hide his shame.

It was sad that there’s such a stigma around guys being supportive of the cuter side to things. When the big one left, presumably to the bathroom, the woman approached the stage with a piece of tissue.

“Oh, I love this song,” Rey said once she saw what was on it, “And what’s your name?”

“Rose. I’m a big fan!” She said with a grin, “But don’t dedicate it to me,”

“Rose? Like RosiePosie?” RosiePosie had been one of the more vocal of her supporters online and by the way the she squealed excitedly, Rey figured that it _was_ her.

“Yes!” She said and laughed, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you recognise me!”

“I try to meet and get to know my supporters,” Rey said with a laugh, “So, who do you want me to dedicate it to?”

Rose thought for a bit before giving a huge grin, “Your celebrity crush, of course,”

Rey snorted back a laugh and felt the flush rise up to her cheeks, “Man, you guys aren’t going to let me live that down, huh?”

“Nope!”

Rey laughed again and straightened, mouth to the mic and hand to her pale pink electric guitar.

“This one’s requested by one of my oldest supporters, RosiePosie. This song isn’t my usual style but it’s so close to my heart it’s a wonder why I never made a cover yet.” She chuckled, “Anyway, I dedicate this to my celebrity crush, Ben Solo. Wherever you might be, this one’s for you.” She winked, ignoring the flush still on her cheeks.

She started to strum softly and closed her eyes, _“Hey Jude, don’t make it bad, take a sad song and make it better,”_

_—_

Ben froze the moment he heard it.

He knew that song. Who wouldn’t? But he’d heard it so many times growing up. Han had always sung it to his mother and she had laughed and sang along with him.

He marched towards the bar, determined not to look at the woman currently tearing his heart to pieces with her song. He ordered another beer and leaned against the bar, bringing his drink to his lips.

 _“Hey Jude, don’t be afraid,”_ He stared at her. Her eyes were still closed but he could almost see the sparkle of tears on her long lashes, _“You were made to go out and get her,”_ Why was she crying?

His throat felt tight and he looked down, blinking back tears. He could almost hear Han crooning it softly to Leia as she sobbed at his bedside in the hospital.

The doctor had just told them that he didn’t have very long, that the cancer had spread too far into his lungs for him to survive. They decided against chemo and Ben hated them for it.

He gripped the neck of the bottle tightly, unable to stop the tears from falling down his face. He avoided this song like the plague, just like how he avoided his mother. The cancer had come as a surprise. Han didn’t really drink a lot and he was so active and full of life. Then one day he’d collapsed while recording a new a song.

Stage four liver cancer had metastasised to his lungs. Survivability, less than five percent.

He had just barely graduated business school.

He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth throughout the whole seven-minute song.

By the end of her set, not many were left dry-eyed. He took a long swig of his beer and wished he’d ordered something stronger. He didn’t look up when she finished, didn’t dare to even clap along with everyone.

He just wanted to leave.


	4. Friends: New and Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I don't catch up to myself because I'm always so excited to update. Also as someone who is decidedly not from the industry or even the country, do let me know if I've made a mistake. -X

Rey didn’t mean to cry onstage. She laughed it off and hopped off the stage, her guitar slung across her back. Her supporters mobbed around her as they always did and she tried to talk to as many as she could.

They took selfies and she signed shirts, “Alright everyone, let our girl breathe!” The crowd parted like the Red Sea to Moses as Poe and Finn strolled right to her, “That was amazing as always, Rey.”

“Thanks,” Rey grinned at her manager, “And thank you for taking time off your very busy schedule to come see me perform.”

“Of course I would! You’re my little starlet, aren’t you?” Poe laughed, “Besides, I promised Finn.”

Rey gave her best friend a hug, “What about your deadline?”

“Submitted the draft this morning,” He said with a wink, “I never missed a performance and I’m not planning on starting now, Rey Bey.”

“Oh my gosh!” Rose muscled her way to her, “That was amazing!”

“Thank you,” Rey grinned at her, “And thank you for that song request. I forgot how much memories I had with it,”

Her boyfriend slid along behind her.

“Fancy seeing you here, Hugs.” Poe said coolly.

“Dameron.” The redhead groused, “Of course you’d be here. I’ll have you know I’m here for no other reason than to support my girlfriend’s love for your star.” He wrapped an arm around Rose and Poe inclined his head.

“Oh, good then.” He said, still suspicious, and Rey wondered how they knew each other.

She knew Hollywood was small but she didn’t think Poe would actually spot someone he knew, let alone the boyfriend of one of her long-time supporters.

“It’s so good to finally be able to watch you live,” Rose gushed and took Rey’s hand, “I moved here because of you,”

“I’m very flattered,”

Hugs scowled, “I thought it was because of me,”

“That too, but mostly because of her.” Rose grinned and gave her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

He sighed dramatically and turned to her, “Armitage Hux,” He said in a suddenly-too-posh British accent and offered his hand to Rey, “Call me Hux,” _So it was_ Hux _, not Hugs._

“Rey Johnson,” She said, shaking his hand. His name sounded vaguely familiar, “Call me Rey?” 

“What he means is,” Poe placed his hands on her shoulders and moved her away from Hux ever so gently, “He’s Ben Solo’s manager,”

Rey felt the blood drain from her face as she sucked in a breath. She turned to Rose, wide-eyed who just grinned at her.

“Oh my God, this is so embarrassing,” Rey grimaced and covered her mouth with her hand, “I can’t believe I dedicated a song to Ben Solo when his manager’s here.” She gave Rose an accusing stare, “You did that on purpose!”

“Of course,” Rose giggled, “I mean, everyone knows you have a crush on him anyway. He’s the new Internet’s Boyfriend thanks to you. _And_ he’s still trending.”

“She’s right, thanks for that.” Hux said.

“Rey didn’t do it on purpose,” Finn said, almost defensively. He placed his hands on her shoulders too, almost over Poe’s, “And definitely not for anything other admiration.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Hux said, “I don’t believe your girl can do anything like that. She seems too nice,”

“I’m right here,” Rey said, laughing exasperatedly, “And no, I really had no intention of other than answering fan questions.”

Hux fished out his metal card holder and gave her one. Poe scowled, “Believe me, we know that.” He chuckled, “In any case, if you’re free give us a call and we’ll arrange a tour for you on set.”

Rey gasped, “No way?”

“I hear you’re a big fan of the franchise,” She was already nodding her head, “You can even bring your friends, as a show of good faith.”

Poe pursed his lips but Finn was already nodding, “I’ll go,” He said and Rey snorted back a laugh.

“He’s a big fan too, he just wouldn’t admit it.” She said and Finn scowled.

“Am not, I’m just there to make sure you don’t break anything, you klutz.”

“I’m sure we can fix it, whatever it is,” Hux said, “Rosie’s broken a good number of props,”

“But I fixed it and made it even better.” Rose said, “I’m a mechanic,” She told Rey.

“Really?” Rey’s eyes widened, she never would’ve guessed that the cute girl in a tutu was a mechanic, “You wanna know a secret?” She grinned, “I am too.”

“No way!” Rose’s eyes widened almost comically, “You look so…so…”

“Small.” Hux said bluntly and Rey laughed.

“Oh yeah, Rey Bey can do anything,” Finn said, almost like a proud father, “When we first met she fixed my car for free and demanded I feed her.”

“You two know each other long?” Hux asked.

“Oh yeah,” Finn and Poe still hasn’t released her shoulders, “We met during our first year in college.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Rose eyed Finn through narrowed eyes, “Don’t tell me, _you’re_ F.N. Tempest?”

“Oh shoot, where are my manners.” Rey laughed, a little embarrassed, “We never introduced you, Finn.”

Finn flushed, “Right, so sorry about that. I’m Finn Storm,” He finally let go of Rey’s shoulders to shake Hux's and Rose’s hands, “Rey’s mentioned me a few times in her videos.”

“She did! I read your books.” Rose said, “I really thought F.N. Tempest is a girl,”

Finn laughed, “Well, that _was_ the plan.”

Rey grinned at a flustered Finn and shook Poe’s hands away, “While you guys are getting to know each other, I’m going to go get some water. I’m _parched_.”

She waved away Rose’s offer to accompany her and made her way to the bar. She was waylaid a few times by people asking for autographs and pictures but she was otherwise left alone.

The man in the hoodie she thought was with Hux and Rose sat at the bar, hoodie still up and shoulders drawn down like the world sat heavily on them. He seemed to be staring into his whiskey though she couldn’t really tell since his hood covered his face.

Maybe he wasn’t a fan after all. He probably just came in to drink away his problems like any other person.

“I’d like a glass of water, please.” She told the bartender who smiled and nodded.

“That was one helluva cover,” His voice was soft and scratchy, deep. He didn’t look at her.

“Thank you, I think.” Rey said sheepishly, “It was my mum’s favourite song,” She accepted the glass gratefully and sipped, careful not to drink too much too fast.

“Yeah? Mine too.” His long fingers fiddled with his glass and her heart went out to him. He seemed exhausted.

She placed her hand on his arm and he flinched slightly. She didn’t let it bother her, “You look like you’re having problems.” She said softly, “Whatever it is, I’m sure things will start looking up if you keep moving forward.” She patted his arm, “You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling right now but don’t let it define you.” She smiled and laughed a little even though he didn’t look at her, “Sorry, I always had a terrible habit of doling out advice and comforting people. I do hope you feel better though.”

She thanked the bartender again for the water and made her way back to her friends.


	5. Cats and Sarcasm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am always so excited it's ridiculous. Also, the comic sans trick works like magic and it makes me so angry that it does. -X

Ben thought she recognised him when she put her hand on his arm. He was grateful that she didn’t. She couldn’t have known he was here when she dedicated that godforsaken song to him. Hux probably put Rose up to it.

Dickwad.

He had been witness to his childhood too, having been over many times. He’d seen Han and Leia singing together. He had even been there when Han died.

He sighed and glanced back. Rey and her friends, he was sure she’d be friends with Dameron too, were gone and Hux and Rose looked like they were trying to find him.

Hux spotted him first and he and Rose walked over to him hand-in-hand.

“Where were you?” Rose asked with a frown.

“Did you tell her I was here?” He took a sip of his watered-down whiskey.

“Of course not,” Hux said, “She’d be even more embarrassed than she already is.”

Ben glanced at him and arched a brow.

“She’s so down-to-earth and honest.” Rose said, “She’s exactly how she is online,”

“I’m surprised, honestly.” Hux said, “One would think there’s some difference in her online presence versus in real life but I just…” He shrugged, “It seems like she’s really just like that in life and online.”

“Hm.” Ben looked into his glass and tipped back the rest of his drink, grimacing at the sharp burn in his throat.

“Ben, are you alright?” Rose asked and he gave her a tight smile.

“‘Course I am.”

“Ben,” Hux only ever called him Ben when he was serious, “Look I’m sorry about the song,”

Rose looked back and forth between Hux and Ben with a frown.

“What are you apologising for, Hux?” Ben sighed and spun around in his seat, leaning his elbows on the bar, “It’s been years. It’s fine,”

It was not fine. He knew he looked like shit, that his eyes were bloodshot and his nose probably still red, “You can’t avoid her forever,” Hux said simply, “She’s been calling the office you know,”

Ben sighed and closed his eyes, “I know.” He hopped off the stool, “I’m going home.” 

“Did you bring a driver or a car or?”

“I’ll walk.” It wasn’t that far anyway. A walk would clear his head.

“It’s dangerous to walk alone, let us give you a ride.” Hux said and Ben arched a brow, “Yes, yes, you’re big and tough but come on, Ben.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get home, how about that?”

Hux looked like he wanted to argue but Rose placed her hand on his arm and shook her head. He sighed, “Alright. The _moment_ you step into the lobby,”

Ben gave him a two-fingered salute and left, hood still up and head still down.

He hadn’t seen nor spoken to his mother in years, hadn’t even stepped foot anywhere near Resistance. Not since Han’s funeral.

He rubbed his chest absent-mindedly and sighed. Her voice still echoed in his head, telling him that things will look up if he just keeps moving forward. Was he really holding on to the past so much?

 _Let the past die, kill it if you have to._ The thought came unbidden in his thoughts. Maybe that’s why Kylo’s character spoke so much to him, that he insisted on auditioning for the role the moment he saw the script.

_Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better._

He sighed again, lost in thought. The cold winter air felt good on his cheeks.

Soon he found himself standing outside his building. He hesitated before going in. The guard and receptionist greeted him and he gave a half-hearted reply. Nobody waited for him in the penthouse.

He texted Hux as promised and when he entered the elevator he dropped his hood and ran his fingers through his hair.

 _The movement you need is on your shoulder._ He hummed softly as he exited. The keypad beeped and he pushed open the door to his dark penthouse.

He didn’t bother opening the lights. His phone lit up with Hux’s reply and he ignored it, opting to open his email.

It didn’t register immediately that he had an email from Rey’s website.

He stared blankly at the email, wondering what it was and remembering belatedly that he had joined her give-away a few days before.

He clicked it open and held his breath.

It was a mug of some sort. Two of a kind according to the email, one of which Rey used. It was the first two samples of Rey’s merch, the ribbon on one of the cat’s ear’s being a checkered black and red thing. They had decided, after the first two, that they’d release the mug in her website but the ribbon would be in pink and black instead.

He was dialling Hux before he could stop himself.

“Miss me, already, Solo?” Hux drawled and Ben scowled.

“I won a contest.” Ben said, “I need you to pick up the prize for me.”

“What contest?” He could hear Hux’s frown on the other end of the line, “You didn’t tell me you joined anything.”

“I didn’t really think much of it.” Ben mumbled, he continued reading the email and frowned at where he was supposed to pick it up, “Just get it for me.”

“Alright, alright. It’s not some kinky sex thing is it?”

Ben snorted, “Yes,” He said, dripping with sarcasm, “It’s a cock ring under the name Armitage Hux.”

“Fuck you,” Hux laughed and then sighed heavily, “So what is it?”

“I’ll forward you the email,” Ben muttered. He could feel the flush rising on his cheeks. Why would he even join something like that in the first place? His phone whooshed, signalling that the email had been sent, “Sent.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end before Hux burst out laughing, “Man, Rosie’s been hoping to get this. Would you let me buy it from you?”

Ben scowled, “Fuck no. That’s mine.”

“Are you sure? I promise I’ll be in your debt,”

“You already are, so no.”

“Why do you even want it? Scratch that, why did you even join this thing?”

Ben didn’t answer.

“You’re smitten!” Hux said in an accusatory tone and then laughed out loud, “Jesus Christ, Solo. You’re smitten,”

“Who’s smitten?” He heard Rose’s voice and Hux mutter his name, “Really?”

“Shut the fuck up, Armitage. I’ll get it myself if I could.”

“Well you could but then Phas would get on my ass for letting you out like that. The paps would have a field day if they see you coming out of Resistance with…that thing.”

“Obviously I won’t hold it out and show it around. I’m not stupid.”

“Dameron would know if _I_ went.” Hux said, “I _could_ say it was for Rosie but…”

“He won’t believe that. He probably has access to the website.” Ben frowned.

“I’ll send Mitaka.” Hux chuckled, “Are you _sure_ you don’t want to meet her? Rosie has a date with her you know.”

“Are you talking about _Rey_? Ben’s in love with her?” Ben winced at Rose’s excited tone.

“No, not yet, darling,” He could hear Hux say patiently, “Just smitten at the moment.”

“Oh my God, this is hilarious,”

“Ha, ha, please, do laugh at my expense.” Ben growled, “Just get the damn thing for me.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Hux said and ended the call.

Ben sighed and got ready for bed, “Son of a bitch.”


	6. And A Ship is Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't use Twitter (can't even begin to understand it) so feel free to call me out if I made a mistake somewhere. Also, comic sans 11 is a lot bigger than standard arial 11 so I'm not actually sure how ahead I am vs what I've posted so far. More notes at the end.
> 
> The ever excitable,  
> X

Rose was lovely. She and Rey had so much in common and they got along so well that it was almost like they’ve known each other forever.

“My sister Paige, she almost had a coronary when she met Armie,” Rose said, laughing, “She was a big fan of Nastia Unamo and Armie was her manager too before she retired.”

Rey laughed too, “Your sister seems like a hoot,”

“You tell me! She’s never been as proud of me as when I brought him home. She was really disappointed when I left Hays.” Rose sipped on her iced caramel macchiato, unaffected by the cold, “So what about you, do you have siblings?”

Rey frowned, “I’m not sure,” She said, “I never knew my parents and my mum never had children or adopted anyone else,”

“Oh.” Rose looked down and flushed, “Sorry, I had no idea. You never really talked about those in your videos.”

Rey grimaced, “I mean, I try not to talk about sad things in my channel. I made it to make people happy not feel bad for me.”

“I don’t feel bad for you,” Rose said and flushed, “But I always wanted to be friends and it’s…nice, having coffee like this with you.”

“Of course we can be friends,” Rey said with a laugh, “You’re one of my first subscribers. I can’t even begin to explain how excited I was that somebody other than Finn liked my videos enough to actually subscribe.”

“Well yeah, you’re so relatable and I love your covers.” Rose grinned, “Paige always complained about how I could never hear her if my earphones are on while I’m working on a car and when you started releasing your own songs?” She shook her head, “You’re an amazing person,”

Rey flushed, “Thank you, really. I try to be open and honest. I was just really lucky that Poe was in that bar where I was performing. That’s how he and Finn met you know? At first Finn was just posturing like hell. We had this thing that we pretend to be in a relationship to get out of sticky situations.” Rose giggled, “But turns out Poe was only interested in me professionally and was more interested in seeing what was in Finn’s pants.” This made Rose laugh even harder.

Her phone vibrated and she excused herself. Rey smiled and took a sip of her gingerbread latte. She loved Christmas but really despised the cold.

“It’s Armie,” Rose said, “He’s asking if we’re still hanging out.”

“Boyfriend missing you already?” Rey smiled wryly but felt a slight pang of jealousy. She wasn’t interested in the Brit of course but she hadn’t been in a relationship in so long she forgot how beautiful it could be. Rose’s eyes lit up every time she talked about Hux.

“Always,” Rose laughed, “But…” Her brows furrowed as she tapped away on her phone. Then her brows shot up, “Oh my gosh, Rey!”

“What?” Rey sat up, alarmed, “What happened? Is he okay?” _Is Ben Solo okay?_

Rose squealed and hopped up to slide in next to her on the couch seat, “You’re famous! Like, trending famous!”

Rey’s brows furrowed, “What?”

Rose handed her her phone, opened to a BuzzFeed article. The headline read: Ben Solo brought to tears in rising star’s bar performance.

“What?” Ben Solo? She read through the article, her brows lowering even more at ablurry picture of what looked like Ben Solo in a nondescript hoodie and jeans hiding his face in his large hands.

_Ben Solo was seen at up-and-coming Resistance rockstar Rey Johnson’s live performance at The Cantina. Johnson, known widely by her online persona as That British Girl, revealed in a livestream that she had a crush on A-list celebrity, Ben Solo, and was recently signed on by record label Resistance. A popular Beatles song was requested by a fan and was dedicated to Solo. It is currently unknown as to why actor Solo was there, nor why he was in tears after her performance. BuzzFeed News has reached out to reps of Ben Solo for comment. If you have a news tip, we’d like to hear from you. Reach out to us via one of our tip line channels._

There was a clip of her dedicating the song to Ben Solo and she flushed, mortified. She followed the link to a video on Twitter; the caption read: Go get him, sunshine! #Reylo #CelebCrush #SoftGirl #SoftBoi #LoveLoveLove #OTP #Ship #DreamCouple #ReyJohnson #BenSolo #TBG.

Rey covered her face with her hand and handed the phone back to Rose with a groan.

“Oh hey, there’s fan art!” Rose giggled while scrolling through Twitter, “Oh, hello. The ship has sailed, Rey Rey.”

“I don’t want to see it,” Rey groaned.

“Are you sure? Because some of these are hot,”

“I can never show my face again.”

“I wonder if Ben knows,”

“I hope to God he doesn’t. This is so embarrassing. This never would have happened if I didn’t admit to actually having a crush on him.”

“I’m sure he’s curious,” There was a glint in Rose’s eyes she didn’t like, “Are you sure you don’t want to meet him?”

“And what would I say, Rose? Hi, I’m Rey, I like you.” Rose laughed, “Knowing me, I’d just clam up and stutter.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Rey shook her head, “As I’ve told Finn, I’m more than happy to watch from afar. And being friends with you, who _actually_ personally knows him? I’m happy with that.”

“I knew you became friends with me for a reason,”

Rey sat up straight, “I didn’t mean that seriously,”

Rose laughed, “Of course you didn’t, silly. I was just teasing. I know you’re not that kind of person,”

Rey sighed, “Some people are just meant to look, you know?” Then she frowned, “Wait,” She thought of the headline and all the blood from her face drained, “He was _there?”_ She remembered the other person with Hux and Rose. He was wearing a hoodie too. Could it be? “He was _there_ and you acted like he wasn’t!”

“Well I mean,” Rose sipped her drink calmly, “Armie said not to tell and Ben didn’t want you to know he was there either.”

 _“But why?”_ She looked at Rose, heart pounding, suddenly terrified. There’s no way someone like her would actually want to be friends with someone like Rey, right? “Is this some kind of sick joke?” She looked around, paranoid, “He and Hux aren’t here or listening in, are they?”

Fuck, she hated it when people played around with her feelings like this.

All of a sudden she couldn’t breathe, her mind shifting back in high school when people pretended to be friends with the orphan only to laugh about her behind her back. She’d cried to her mum so many times.

“What?” Rose’s brows shot up, “No, of course not!” She stood to stand closer to her, “I really do want to be friends!”

Rey blinked back tears, “I, I just remembered I-I have something to do.” She grimaced, “I’m so sorry, we’ll hang out again some other time.” She didn’t look at Rose as she stood.

Rose grabbed her sleeve, “Rey, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. We didn’t want you to get embarrassed or anything and Ben’s always been a little shy. Please don’t be mad,”

She coaxed Rey back to her seat and she just wilted.

“I didn’t want to sound like some sort of crazy fangirl,” Rey mumbled and rubbed the back of her neck.

“You don’t! And people are rooting for you,” Rose showed her some of the tweets.

Rey pulled out her phone and opened up her _own_ Twitter account. She only really had the public one.

It was flooded with both encouragement and hate mail. She winced. She didn’t think she’d actually earn the ire of Ben Solo’s fans. She showed Rose who scowled and took screen caps to send to Hux.

“Poe is going to kill me.” Rey muttered.

“Nah, I mean, any publicity is good, right?”

“His fans are saying I’m only making noise so people would notice me.”

“That’s not true and as both a friend _and_ a fan, I know what you’re capable of.”

They both jumped when Rey’s phone rang.

It was Poe.

Rey bit her lip and met Rose’s suddenly-worried gaze. She nodded and Rey picked up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we see a little bit of Rey's insecurities. She has a lot that she hides behind her very sunny disposition. I think it's very relatable.


	7. #SoftBoiBen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear NathanielzAlexandia: 
> 
> Yes we should discuss my writing in Comic Sans. Yes I did write this fic in Comic Sans on purpose. Now you must be thinking 'holy shit you're crazy why would you use that cursed font?' Honestly, same. I didn't believe it at first but I always had a problem when writing. I always get bored halfway through and never finish (which is really the reason why I stopped posting online aside from some shorts and fills). 
> 
> Then, I read this thing about using Comic Sans to 'unblock' your writer's block and I thought, why the hell not? I won't really lose anything so I tried it. And fuck it works. It's magic and I really, really, really hate it. But it works and it keeps me going so I will continue to be a slave to Comic Sans so I can finally finish what I started.
> 
> -X

“It seems you weren’t as inconspicuous as we’d like,” Hux was in his condo again.

Ben groaned and rolled over, pulling the sheets over his head, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Bringing you your prize,” Hux said mildly, “Unless of course you’ve changed your mind and agree to sell it to me.”

Ben sat up, pushing the duvet away from him, and scowled.

“Didn’t think so.” Hux looked smug as he handed Ben the package, “You’re trending again. Soft Boi Ben, as in, Boi with an ‘I’. Seemed someone spotted you tearing up at our little miss sunshine’s performance.”

Ben scowled at Hux’s choice of words but instead of retorting, giving him more ammunition to tease him with, he busied himself by opening his package.

Inside the plain brown box was another, smaller box, this one in pink. It had That British Girl’s logo and a crudely done drawing of a cat.

“Mitaka said that Rey herself had drawn that.” He pursed his lips, “Not a very good drawing at that but then, there’s a reason she's a singer songwriter and not a graphic artist.”

Ben grunted and opened the box as gently as he could. Inside was a giant mug, one surprisingly big enough to not look small in his hands. It was in the shape of a cat’s head.

“Cute.” Hux said. Ben sighed and got out of bed. He placed the mug on his study, right in front of the bed, and kept the box in one of its drawers, “Maybe I can get Rey to design one for Rosie.”

“So what did I do this time?”

“Aside from cry your eyes out at the Cantina? Nothing.” Hux shrugged, “‘Course, Rose says Rey is mortified to know that you _were,_ in fact, in attendance last night. Phas, of course, is having a field day. She wants to capitalise on this to make you even more famous. Girls do love a sensitive man. She thinks she can turn you into a sex icon overnight.”

Ben scowled, “No, thank you.”

“Don’t tell _me_ that. She does have another option but I told her you might not be open to that.”

“What other option?” Ben didn’t like the sound of that. Phasma has been needling him these past few months trying to turn his image of a broody, angry, violent person into a soft and romantic, complicated man.

He wasn’t exactly violent in the first place but a few well-timed photos of bar-brawls and the paps had made it look as though he’d gone off to kill people with his fists. It didn't really help that his breakthrough character was an asshole.

“Well, quite a number of your fans, both hers and yours, have taken to ah, calling Reylo.” Hux scratched his cheek and avoided his eyes.

“Calling _what_?” Ben scowled, it better not be what he thinks it is.

“Like, Brangelina, except, Rey and uh, Solo.”

Ben’s scowl deepened, “And what does Phasma think of this?”

“She finds it hilarious, of course.” Hux smirked, “To be fair, I do too, seeing as how taken you are with this girl.” He cleared his throat, “Phas wants you to date her.”

“No.” Ben’s scowl deepened. He knew that crazy amazon would think of something like this, “I don’t date fans and I’m pretty sure she does _not_ want to meet me.”

“Yes, that _is_ true.” Hux shrugged, “Rose said that Rey said she’s content to look at you from afar. Bit of a stalker vibe if I didn’t know any better. But I don’t think it would hurt to actually get to know one another. It’d be good publicity for both of you.”

Ben glared at Hux, “No.”

“Noted,” Hux chuckled, “I’ll tell Phasma that then. Rose would be heartbroken, too. She’s already gone and joined the Reylo bandwagon. Moving on, why don’t we go out for lunch, eh?”

Ben made a face; did he really want to go out at a time like this? But his stomach grumbled and he remembered he didn’t really eat much the night before.

“You’re buying.” He told Hux who laughed.

“ _Me?_ You’re the actor. I’m just a poor manager.”

“Says the man in a four thousand dollar suit.”

“Hey, what can I say, the suit makes the man.” Hux shrugged, “I _can_ change. I’m sure I still have some clothes leftover here.”

“You should. I don’t want people to notice me too much.”

Hux chuckled and made his way to the guest room where some of his clothes were kept for emergencies like this one. Though, seeing how swimmingly things are going with a certain music starlet, he wondered if he should bring them home soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also edited and added this note because I forgot to add above: Happy Birthday to Adam Driver (who is literally Ben Solo but also inspired quite a bit of his characterisation here)


	8. Call me Leia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast updates = happy readers, yeah? I was never one to wait for updates either so I like to read complete works. I thought maybe there's more people like me out there. 
> 
> As I've told madametango, take time to relax and breathe.(Thank you by the way for always commenting and I'm sorry I initially thought it was madame tamago.) 
> 
> The world has gone to shit right now and I'd like to finish this story before the world ends and by the power of the mighty Comic Sans I will. 
> 
> -X

When Poe called her, she didn’t expect that he’d ask her to go to the studio. It was a Sunday and usually people were off, but apparently not today.

She’d bid Rose goodbye and drove to Resistance in her vintage baby blue beetle. The guards knew her well enough to let her in without question.

“Leia wants to meet you,” Poe said once they were in the elevator.

She froze, the blood draining from her face, “Leia, as in _the_ Leia Organa?”

“The one and only,” Poe chuckled and brushed his wavy black hair from his face, “She heard about your show stopping performance last night and wanted to put a face to the voice.”

Rey swallowed audibly. She was not ready for this. What she was wearing wasn’t even nearly appropriate enough to meet one of the biggest names in music history. She was practically royalty.

“Hey, relax, sunshine. Leia’s nice.” Poe wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “It’s going to be fine. She just wants to meet you, is all.”

She looked at Poe apprehensively and nodded.

He led her through the mostly empty offices and knocked on a nondescript wooden door.

“Enter,” Her voice sounded stern and Rey swallowed again.

“Hey, Leia.” Poe swept in with a flourish, dragging Rey along with him, “Here’s our girl of the hour, Rey Johnson.”

Whatever Rey expected, this was not it. Leia was barely any taller than her and the brown vintage leather jacket Leia was wearing over her blouse and slacks was not something she expected either.

“Rey, this is Leia.”

“H-hello,” Rey looked down and flushed, “Ms. Organa.”

“Please, call me Leia,” She said and smiled. Her perfectly arranged hair was a stark contrast to the old jacket she was wearing and Rey couldn’t wrap her head around it, “I hear you’ve been making waves online recently.”

Rey laughed nervously, “Believe me, it wasn’t intentional.”

“And yet, your value as a star has suddenly shot up, almost overnight.”

Rey shrugged, “Poe sent me a copy of the video of your performance.”

“She’s great, right?” Poe said enthusiastically and dragged Rey to sit on the overstuffed seat in front of Leia’s heavy wooden desk, “Even _I_ couldn’t stop myself from crying.”

Leia snorted in a most-definitely unladylike manner, “Please, you cry about everything.”

“Aw, that hurts. I don’t cry for _everything_. Just most things.” Poe was still grinning. He was always so happy. Rey wondered if that’s what she looked like to other people?

“Anyway, I just wanted to meet you. You’ve sung a lovely rendition of Hey Jude.” She smiled wistfully, “My husband used to sing that to me so long ago.” She sighed, “It was my favourite. So thank you for that.”

“O-oh, uh, sure.” Rey’s brows furrowed. Did Leia call her on a Sunday because she wanted to talk about The Beatles?

“Moving on though, I hear you’ve touched base with First Order as well.” She said politely and Rey flushed.

“Oh, uh, Hux just wanted to give me a tour of their set. As thanks for the sudden spike in interest on their movie.”

“Yeah, she had unwittingly made Ben the Internet’s Boyfriend.” Poe chuckled.

“I see. Armitage is a polite boy, I’m sure he’ll take care of you.” She cocked her head sideways, looking at her like she was an interesting new bug to dissect. Rey suppressed a shudder at the intensity of her stare, “Well, you are _exactly_ the type Resistance needs. We’ve had a very limited roster of women rockstars as of late but you…you have raw talent. Poe said you two have been working on an album?”

“Yes ma’am,” Rey said, “Just a few songs I’ve written over the years.”

“Have you thought of what persona you’d like?”

“Well, I’ve always just been me.” Rey laughed awkwardly.

“A little cute, a little innocent, but also sexy.” Poe explained, “She has a good number of male and female supporters online.”

Leia was nodding. She had a twinkle in her eye, as though she knew something Rey didn’t. It made her nervous.

“Well, I’m sure First Order appreciated the help they received. I do hope they don’t try to poach you,”

Ah, so that’s what the whole point of this meeting was. Rey smiled, “I’m sure they won’t and if they do, I’d be sure not to accept. I’m very grateful to have this opportunity to work with Resistance. I never thought I’d actually be signed on an actual record label,”

“You’ve a beautiful voice, dear.” Leia said, almost dismissively, “I’m surprised they didn’t find you earlier than we did.”

“I say it’s fate,” Poe interjected.

“I’m sure that’s just your dick talking,” Rey’s jaw fell and Poe cackled, “I hear his boyfriend’s your friend?”

“Ah, yes. I do believe he noticed Finn first.” Rey chuckled.

Rey looked at the strange woman in front of her and decided that she liked her.


	9. Hux the Deliverer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the encouraging comments! Please note that this is an un-beta-ed work so if there are any mistakes or typos let me know :)
> 
> -X

It wasn’t until weeks after that Hux scheduled her tour. Ben Solo and the movies was all everyone could talk about and it had even invaded the comments section of her channel and social media accounts.

The ship has sailed according to Rose and it didn’t look like it’d sink anytime soon. Rey had tried her best to play it down in her videos. After all, she’s never even met the man. Hux said it was fine and the still-faceless Phasma had sent her another round of merch, still very Kylo-centric, telling her explicitly that she _should_ show it off.

So, she did, with Leia and Poe’s blessing.

It was strange; she always thought Resistance and First Order were’t exactly friendly but she supposed personal opinion don’t really matter in business.

Of course, all the merch created even more buzz that kept the Reylo ship going. Paparazzi was starting to take note of her and she’s seen a few wandering around near her usual haunts. It wouldn’t be long before they figure out Rose is the girlfriend of Ben Solo’s manager. What would people say then?

Finn would be joining her on the tour. Hux said he’ll meet them at the studio and will be sending a man named Mitaka to take them.

“Can’t you dress in something cuter?” Finn asked, frowning, “I mean, this is a private tour of the actual sets they’re using. Not like Universal Studios or something,”

Rey frowned and looked down at what she wore. It was winter so wore a heavy old rose knit sweater dress, fleece leggings and her scuffed boots.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” She asked, deftly tying her hair back into three buns, “It’s cold and I’d rather not freeze my tits off.”

Finn rolled his eyes. He was, as always, dressed to the nines in a black turtleneck sweater, black slacks and a soft brown leather jacket that she was _sure_ was Poe’s, “You’re lucky you’re so cute you can wear whatever you want and still look good.”

Rey’s frown deepened, “I think what I’m wearing is cute,”

“Yeah, but not for a studio tour.” The bell rang and Finn shook his head, “Never mind, let’s go.”

“I’m going on a studio tour, Finn, not a photoshoot or a performance.” She shrugged on her shoulder bag and linked her arm with Finn’s, “Besides, I don’t think it really matters. My supporters don’t mind what I wear.”

“But Ben Solo’s fans might,” Finn opened the door to a neat-looking blond.

“Good afternoon Mr. Storm, Ms. Johnson,” He said with a smile, “I’m Dolpheld Mitaka. Mr. Hux has sent me to get you,”

“Hi!” Rey said cheerfully, “Please, call me Rey.” She stuck her hand out and he flushed, looking baffled and stricken before shaking her hand tentatively, “Thank you so much for picking us up.”

“Please, it’s my job.” Mitaka led them down the elevators and into a nondescript black sedan. He even opened the door for them and blushed again when Rey beamed at him.

The drive to the studio wasn’t very long, only half an hour, but Rey had taken advantage of that time to ask Mitaka questions.

“Do you go in everyday?” She asked to which Mitaka answered in the affirmative, “What do you do other than drive people around?”

“I’m hired as a driver but I do, do some security work either for Mr. Hux or Mr. Solo, or both.” Mitaka answered, “Sometimes I do errands as well.”

“So, you’re like an all-around man.” Finn said, “Cool,”

“So you know Hux well?”

“Not quite as well as Mr. Solo, miss.” Mitaka said, “They grew up together.”

“Really?” Rey knew she was being nosy but any information she could get about Ben Solo she just gobbled up. Finn snorted back a laugh, “Rose never mentioned that. Is he nice, Mr. Solo?”

Mitaka glanced at her through the rearview and smiled, “He’s very distant and he has a bit of a temper but I think he’s nice. He’s a good boss though he’s quite hard to actually protect.”

“Why is that?” Finn shuffled forward so both him and Rey are leaning in to listen to Mitaka.

“He’s big.” Is all Mitaka said and Rey giggled.

By the time they arrived in First Order, Rey can safely say that she’d gained a new friend in Mitaka.


	10. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! The previous chapter ended somewhat blandly and I really, really hate cliff-hangers or well, semi-cliffhangers? And it didn't really make sense to end it there but also didn't make sense to continue it in one big chapter so here's the next bit.
> 
> Happy weekend! 
> 
> -X

Hux brought them around, showing them the different sets and explaining how everything worked. He even showed them Ben Solo’s dressing room. Finn had elbowed her and she elbowed him back just as hard.

“This is the hallway you see pretty much in almost all of the scenes where a hallway is required,” Hux said with a chuckle.

Rey looked up and spun as she walked, trying to pinpoint exactly what made this specific hallway special. The lights were definitely different compared to the others and she could still see some of the props that made it look more high-tech, “Your design crew must be amazing,”

She was still looking around and up and didn’t hear the loud clomping of boots. She didn’t notice how Finn and Hux stopped walking.

She slammed into something hard and she squeaked.

“Oh my gosh, I am so, so, so, _so_ sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and I…” Black. It was something black. She followed the line of dots decorating the costume up…and up… and up, past a large scar on his cheek, to meet his dark eyes.

Her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath sharply. His lip quirked up, “Hi,” He said in a voice that she’s only ever heard in her dreams, “I’m Ben.” Amusement twinkled in his eyes and a dimple flashed on his cheek.

Rey could feel the heat travel up her neck to her face. She took a step back and looked at his proffered hand, gloved, and flashed back into that one scene in the movie. At that time, she had just about screamed at the heroine to take it.

Now she understood how she would’ve felt. Her hand shook and she looked up again at his face. He arched a brow and looked as though he was trying very hard not to laugh.

“Rey,” She said weakly and shook his hand. The leather felt cool against her skin and she shivered.

“I know.” He smiled again, flashing her those dimples. Her cheeks felt too hot, “It’s a pleasure to _finally_ meet you, Ms. Johnson.” He squeezed her hand.

She was aware of so many different things happening at the same time; of Finn and Hux discreetly taking pictures at different angles, of the way her heart pounded and her mind raced, of how strong his grip was underneath the cool leather.

“Please, it’s just Rey,” She managed to say and he chuckled.

“As you wish, just Rey.” He still hasn’t let go of her hand and she felt like she was about to spontaneously combust.

And he was still smiling at her, like he knew exactly what it did to her. She looked down at their hands again to avoid his eyes.

Her hand was tiny in his and she didn’t think she could turn even redder than she did.

“Mr. Solo, it’s almost time,” Somebody called out. Ben looked to his right and rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand.

“Alright,” He said before looking back down at her again, “I’ll see you around,” His voice was soft now, “Rey.”

He let go of her hand and it fell limply to her side. He turned sharply and marched towards what she assumed was another studio facility.

His cape swept back, floating behind him dramatically. She didn’t even realise he’d been holding Kylo Ren’s helmet loosely against his hip.

When he was almost at the door to the studio, he turned back to look over his shoulder and met her eyes.

She blinked and flushed. He smiled again, flashing a dimple and winked before entering the room.

Rey sucked in another breath and squeaked a little. Somehow she’d forgotten how to breathe.

She’d officially died and gone to heaven. That had to be it; she must’ve tripped and died somewhere along the way when Hux was giving them a tour.

“Earth to Rey?” She heard Finn’s voice vaguely, like he was somewhere far away, or she was underwater, “Hello?”

“Well, Rose would’ve loved to see _that_.” Hux chuckled.

“I think your boy Ben broke her.”

“Maybe it’s time we go see the on-site cafe, hm?”

“Great idea, Hugs.”

She felt Finn’s hands on her shoulders, leading her away. Still, she looked at the door where he’d disappeared into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it finally happened. I would have reacted the same way, maybe even fainted or screamed. Who knows? Let me know how you'd react ;)


	11. Hux the Master Strategist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This bit is very, very short. 
> 
> -X

Hux did it on purpose. Ben was sure he did. As his manager, Hux was the only one who knew his precise schedule. He set it up and led her around so they’d just so happen to bump into each other at that exact moment.

Of course, Ben had been distracted too and didn’t notice the tiny slip of a girl about to slam into him. She was a lot smaller than he remembered, the last time he encountered her he’d been sitting down and didn’t really get a good look.

But she looked warm and cozy. His lip twitched up at the thought of how she’d turned almost as pink her oversized sweater when she realised who he was.

Thank fuck he knew how to act, otherwise things would’ve been even more awkward than it should’ve.

She _was_ cute. The look on her face when he’d winked at her.

Then he realised what he did and flushed. Holy shit, he _winked_ at her like a fucking dingus. What had gotten into him? Hux would never let him live that down for sure.

He groaned softly and covered his face.

“You alright, Ben?”

“I’m good,” Ben said, resisting the urge to rub his face and ruin his make up. He looked up, “Ready.”

They were only supposed to shoot a few promotional videos and take a few pictures for the new rides at Disneyland so it wasn’t really that big of a deal.

He placed the familiar helmet over his head and brought his hood up.

“Ready when you are,”

He was glad they started with the helmet scenes. It’d give him time to school his features.

He couldn’t seem to stop himself from smiling.


	12. Hux the Master Strategist pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which is why there's a part 2 because it doesn't seem right to add this in the previous chapter.
> 
> -X

Ben Solo winked at her.

Ben Solo _winked at her._

_Ben Solo._

Rey couldn’t wrap her head around it. He knew who she was and just…winked at her. She flushed again. Has he always been that charming? He could probably charm her panties off without breaking a sweat.

“I think she’s coming back now,” She could still hear Finn talking to Hux. Somehow she had her fingers wrapped around a mug. When did that get there?

“I’ve known Solo since we were children but I’ve never encountered anyone who’s reacted to him that way before.” Hux laughed.

“Well, that’s our Rey. Awkward to the bone,”

She finally snapped back into herself and looked up to meet Finn’s eyes.

“Finally back, baby girl?” Finn asked, his chocolate eyes twinkling with amusement.

Rey made a sound between a whinny and a squeak. Her eyes were still wide and her cheeks flushed.

“Yes,” Finn said patiently, like he was talking to a child, “Yes, you _did_ just meet Ben Solo.”

Rey made another sound.

Hux looked between them with fascination.

“Yes, he did introduce himself and you’re not dreaming. No, you weren’t entirely _too_ awkward. You didn’t faint, for one.” Finn continued.

“Amazing, you actually understood what she’s trying to say,” Hux said.

“Eh, you stay together long enough you’ll understand everything. We used to be roommates,” Finn said with a shrug, “And trust me she _only_ ever gets like this for Ben Solo.”

Hux’s brows shot up, “Wait, are you telling me she’s been crushing on Solo for…years?”

“What, you think it’s just recently?” Finn’s brows rose too. He took a sip of his tea, “Nah, dude. Rey’s been crushing on him since J. Edgar.”

Hux’s jaw dropped and he stared at a squirming Rey, “Wot,”

Finn laughed, “Rey, you broke Hugs.”

“Jesus, that’s around the same time you both started your careers and he had like, less than a minute of screen-time there!” Hux gaped and Rey shrugged.

“Nobody really asked until recently.” She mumbled, “And I thought he was cute.”

“You wouldn’t believe how many movies she’s dragged me to, sometimes twice, just because he was there. Keep in mind we were broke college kids then.”

“I have no idea what to say,” Hux looked amazed and bothered at the same time.

Rey groaned and finally took a sip of her tea, “This is so embarrassing,”

“I think he’ll be flattered,” Hux said and Rey sat up straight.

“Don’t tell him, please.” She begged, “I’m already humiliated enough.”

Hux chuckled, “I can’t promise that. I _am_ his manager and I try to do what’s best for him. By the way, when did you say your album’s release was?”

“We haven’t announced it yet but we were thinking next month, first week.” Rey said, grateful for the change in subject, “I’ll be working all day tomorrow with Poe for last minute promotional stuff. We’re just about ready. I’ll probably post the release date online too.”

Hux nodded, “Do save me a CD for Rose.” He said, “I’m sure we’ll be there but I’ve seen your fans. They’re _wild_ ,”

“Of course,” Rey said with a laugh, “You don’t have to ask. Rose can have as many as she likes,”

“Thank you. Shall we continue on with our tour then?”


	13. Don't Carry the World Upon Your Shoulders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short bit today but tomorrow's would be a lot longer I promise :) 
> 
> -X

Rey didn’t mention the tour or meeting him in her next video. Ben was slightly disappointed. Hux had slipped him her phone number and though he already had it saved in his phone, he still hadn’t gotten the courage to actually call her.

She glossed over her excitement for Resistance’s office-wide Thanksgiving dinner and announced the launch date of her album and he took note of it.

Maybe he’ll drop by.

He glanced at the mug still sitting on his desk; he was _sure_ he’d drop by.

Hux didn’t mention their encounter yet but he knew the redhead was only waiting for the right time to use it against him. Reylo, he said, was still gaining traction and Rose had even sent him a few fan art, some of which made him flush with embarrassment.

“Um,” Rey’s voice drifted from his laptop speakers, “I’d really like to take the time too, to thank you all again. I might not be able to speak to everyone or thank everyone the way I want to but I really do appreciate your support. I would never have made it this far without you.” She sounded sweet, but tired. She still wore the outfit she was wearing for the promotional pictures she said she’d been doing, “I really look forward to the launch. We’ve already posted the links to where you can pre-order the album, and of course, it’s up on my website too.”

She cleared her throat, “And since I’ve been so busy lately and I’ve gotten so many requests for this, I figured I’d do it now, as a thanks and an apology too. Please bear with me though, it’s not my usual style.” She laughed softly and it sent shivers down his spine like it always did.

Of course it was ‘Hey Jude’. It, along with _them_ , has not stopped trending since that night in the Cantina. He’d gotten a lot of messages from his co-stars asking if he really _was_ seeing the starlet and asking why they’ve never seen her before.

He answered as honestly as he could, that no, they’re not dating and they’ve never even met, and had diligently avoided paparazzis and interviews.

Because despite what he said before, he really _would_ like to date her.

He just hasn’t figured out how yet.

He listened to her sing, the ache in his chest still raw even after all these years. He could still hear Han’s voice, softly, in his head. Sometimes he was terrified that one day he’d hear this song and won’t be able to remember his father’s voice anymore.

Han never recorded himself doing a cover. Ben wished he did. Han and the Chewies was different from Han Solo, his dad. He was goofy in a typical suburban dad way, and he loved to work on that beat-up Ford Thunderbird he'd so lovingly named 'Falcon'. Ben wished he wasn't so eager to get away when Han asked him to help. 

_Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders._

He should call his mom.


	14. Launch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how album launches work so I apologise in advance if it's wrong. This bit was sort of inspired by this Chinese drama 'Go Go Squid'; it's on Netflix (at least where I live) and it's pretty great if you ignore the propaganda :)
> 
> -X

Launch day.

Rey fidgeted nervously in her seat. Rose and Hux were already there with Finn and Poe while the rest were waiting for the doors to officially open.

“You’ll be fine, sunshine.” Poe said, “Definitely better than how you did with Solo.”

Rey flushed bright red and Rose laughed, “Shut up, Poe. It’s been a month, I’m sure he’s forgotten that.”

“I doubt,” Hux said, “As I’ve said, it’s not a usual occurrence.”

“You shut up too, Hugs.” Rey hissed, “You promised not to tell anyone,”

“Actually, I don’t remember saying that at all.” Hux chuckled. They were all in leather jackets, Rey in a black one over a black and red dress and black tights. She shivered.

“You want coffee?” Rose said with a sympathetic smile, “You look like you need it.”

“I didn’t really sleep much last night,” Rey said, “And I’m not wearing nearly enough in this cold.”

“We’re inside, baby girl,” Finn said, “And it’s not that cold today.”

“Shut up, Finn, you know I grew up in the desert.” Her teeth were chattering. She wished she’d worn a sweater instead but Poe had insisted on a leather jacket because ‘it’s part of her _image’_.

“Oh, the only person she hasn’t told to ‘shut up’ is Rose.” Poe said with a laugh.

“Of course she won’t, I’m her number one fan.” Rose said, grinning, “I’ll go get you that coffee. What about you guys? What do ya’ll want?”

Hux offered to go with her while Poe and Finn gave them their orders.

“Be right back,” Rose said and linked her hand with Hux’s.

Rey took a deep breath and sat on the chair provided by the venue.

The venue itself wasn’t very big, just a box decorated in soft pinks and heavy blacks. Poe had gone off to test the sound system and her voice piped in softly, increasing in volume until her manager was satisfied.

“It’s going to be okay, Rey.” Finn said, “Just breathe. Think of it like a book signing,”

Rey’s gone to every book signing Finn’s ever had, helping him get more books, more pens, coffee, even lunch if he didn’t get a chance to eat.

But that was Finn’s gig, not hers.

And what if nobody came?

It was a ridiculous thought really since there was already a line forming outside the venue but it terrified her to be left high and dry and alone.

“It’s going to be fine.” Finn said, almost like he was reading her mind, “We’ll be here with you. You’re going to do great.”

She gave Finn a watery smile and took a deep breath.

“Almost time, sunshine!” Poe called out, “Ready when you are!”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, forcing a smile, “Ready.”

The doors opened.


	15. Here Comes the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic was added to a collection? That's a good thing right? I don't quite understand collections.
> 
> And again, it didn't seem to make sense to stop it there in the last chapter; I really hate cliffhangers (and waiting). 
> 
> -X

Ben didn’t think there’d still be so many people at three in the afternoon. The launch ran until six so he thought by three it’d start winding down but he was surprised at the number of people still lingering in the venue taking pictures with Rey, her standee, even Dameron and Rey’s dark-skinned friend. He realised he was too busy looking at Rey when they met to actually notice the man and introduce himself to him too.

He kept his head down and his hood up. He’d even tied his hair back so they don’t slip out.

Hux wasn’t there anymore but Rose still was. He knew Hux was busy at the studio at the moment but he knew he’d popped by early this morning to show his support. He knew because Hux wouldn’t stop texting him and sending him pictures.

He got a CD and a shirt for good measure. Nobody spared him a glance, not with so many people wearing crazy outfits like it was Comic Con and not an album launch.

Cat ears seem to be a recurring thing.

Rey herself was wearing a pair of fuzzy red and black cat ears. He got in line, watching her through his lashes as she smiled and chatted with her fans. She looked tired.

She had a black tumbler of some sort of drawings and text next to her and she took a long sip from the straw before turning back to the next person waiting for her to sign.

He moved, wondering what he’d say. Would any of her friends notice him? Would the paps find out? He hoped not.

She was still smiling when he quietly handed her his copy of her CD.

“Hi,” She said cheerfully, “And who should I sign for?” She wasn’t looking at him.

He cleared his throat and couldn’t help smile, “How about Ben?”

She froze and looked up slowly, the flush rising up her throat to her cheeks. She squeaked, “Y-you, you’re…”

“Hello, Rey.” He said and she opened and closed her mouth and looked down before scrawling on the CD case. 

Murmurs started behind him and people had started to notice Rey’s unusual reaction to the man in front.

“Is that…” He heard someone whisper.

“No way…”

“Ben Solo?” More murmurs. He ignored them, focusing on Rey’s bowed head, instead.

She met his eyes shyly and smiled, “Thank you,” She said quietly, holding the CD up with both hands, “For your support,”

He took it, brushing his fingers over hers, making her blush even more. He smiled, “No, thank _you_.” He placed the CD back into his bag and moved to the side to let the next people in line through. He leaned against the far wall, still in line with her sight.

She watched him a tad too long before focusing back to her tasks. Her smile was a little brighter, her eyes a little less tired.

“Um, Mr. Solo?” He glanced up at a pair of teens with cat ears. They were each holding a similar bag to his, “You _are_ Mr. Ben Solo, right?”

His jaw tightened; he really didn’t want to be noticed but it couldn’t be helped now. He gave a little sigh and a wistful smile, “Ladies,”

They squealed a little too loudly, getting him a few more curious glances.

“Can we take a photo with you?” They said and he looked past them to see Rey still busy signing and taking selfies with her fans.

“Sure,” He finally said, albeit a little defeatedly.

They squealed again and took a photo with him one by one. He hoped his grimace could pass off a smile.

“When Rey said she had a crush on you,” One of them chattered, “We couldn’t really see it happening because she’s like Rey of Sunshine and you’re…” They gestured wildly, “But then Reylo happened and all those fan art and we watched some of your old movies…”

“And then we could see it.” The other one completed with a nod, “And now you’re here,”

They talked as though he’d been magically summoned there by sheer wishful thinking, as if he was doing this as fan service and not for himself.

He shrugged, careful not to give too much away, “I’m here.”

More people gathered to where he was, directly after chatting and signing and selfie-ing with Rey, like he was some sort of sideshow. Maybe he should go somewhere else.

People took pictures with him, some asked him to sign things. He refused to sign on Rey’s CD.

“Look,” He said, “I’m not going to disrespect her by taking over her thing. I’m just here as a…sort of fan, like you.” He said and flushed. More whispers. He knew he, and Rey, would trend within the next twenty-four hours.

“Solo.” The crowd parted for Poe.

“Dameron,” Ben inclined his head, his lips tightening. He knew Poe very well. His parents worked with his for years.

He still hasn’t gotten the courage to call his mother. Or Rey.

“What are you doing here?” Poe was suspicious, as he should be. He didn’t really have a reason to be here.

Ben arched a brow, “You want to talk about that, _now?_ ” His inclined his head, gesturing with his eyes to the crowd that had gathered. It’ll be in the tabloids come morning whatever he said, if he said something.

Poe laughed, a little exasperatedly, “You’re right, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, “We might get late finishing up. The crowd’s still coming,”

“I can see that.” More people came to ask for photos, some with him, others with Poe, “I’m not here for any other reason than just because.” A young man took a selfie with both him and Poe.

“I see.” Poe said, a little cryptically, “Don’t worry, you’re always welcome. Rey’s over the moon.”

“There you are,” Rey’s friend approached them with a curious smile, “Mr. Solo,”

“It’s Ben.” He said, “And I’m sorry I didn’t get to introduce myself to you, last time.”

“Finn Storm. Call me Finn.” Finn shook his hand and grinned, “Don’t worry, you were busy. I’m going to go for another coffee run,” He held up Rey’s tumbler. Ben saw it had spiderwebs and cats drawn on it, “You two boys want anything?”

“The usual for me, babe. Thanks.” Poe grinned and Ben arched a brow at him. Last time they saw each other, Poe had a girlfriend.

“What about you?” Finn turned to him.

“A vanilla cream cold brew would be great,” Ben said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Got it.” Finn gave him a thumbs-up. Ben reached behind him to grab his wallet from his back pocket and Finn waved his hand, “Nah dude, it’s fine. I’ll be right back.”


	16. Flying High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll have something fun tomorrow 😉
> 
> Also this is a lot longer than I'd planned so please bear with me. 
> 
> -X

Ben Solo was here. Rey could barely concentrate on chatting with her fans and signing things for them.

Because Ben Solo was here.

Did Hux put him up to it? Rey’s brow furrowed, she didn’t want him to be forced to come.

Rose was busy on her phone but she acknowledged Ben’s presence by pointing him out to Poe.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even begin to remember what she was talking about to the guy in front of her. She smiled, “Thank you so much for your support,” She said and he moved on.

Maybe he’ll go to Ben next for a picture. He didn’t look too happy though; did he really think he can pop in and not be noticed?

Hux had left at around lunchtime for his meeting at the studio, leaving Rose with her. Soon after, Mitaka had dropped in with his young daughter. Even Leia dropped by.

But she didn’t expect Ben freaking Solo.

And he was just standing there, looking so comfortable talking to Finn and Poe like they’ve known each other forever.

Rose jumped next to her and grinned, excusing herself. Hux must be done with his meeting. She was talking animatedly to the side, laughing at whatever her boyfriend was saying.

“OMG, Rey,” The girl in front of her was practically bouncing on her toes, “I love your ears, where did you get them done?”

Rey smiled and pointed her to the direction of a cosplay designer Kaydel Connix. She looked her up instantly, her eyes lighting up. She told her her name and Rey signed the CD and the t-shirt the girl handed, “And is that Ben Solo?” Her eyes were huge and Rey laughed a little awkwardly.

“Yes,” She said and the girl squealed, her phone still out. She was typing really fast, “My dreams are coming true.” She said, “Hashtag Reylo,” Rey smiled and the girl asked for a picture. She obliged and the girl took the selfie and squealed again before moving away, towards the direction of Ben.

This was getting out of hand but she couldn’t get herself to be annoyed at Hux for sending him over. She can probably die happy now.

Finn came back with her coffee and she smiled gratefully at him, “I love you,” She said.

“Love you too, Bey.” He said with a wink. He placed Rose’s drink on the table, “Your boy Ben apparently likes cold brew,”

Rey flushed and looked at him sharply, “He’s not my boy,” She hissed and hoped nobody heard him. God knows what rumours would come out of that.

“Whatever,” Finn said, laughing. He tweaked one of the ears on her head, “Imma head back there.” Rey waved him away and turned her attention back to the girl waiting patiently in front of her.

Rey smiled.

Rose skipped back to her seat a little off to the side next to Rey, “Thank me later,” She whispered and giggled.

Rey glanced at her with confusion, “Thank you for what?”

“You’ll see.” Rose grinned, the apples of her cheeks flushed, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

“Okay,” Rey turned back to her fans again, trying her best to concentrate. They deserve that much.

She heard Poe on the mic, announcing the last giveaway of the day and breathed a sigh of relief when the attention was taken away from her. It’s been a long day. Maybe they can go for pizza after.

It’d be nice if Ben could join them. She flushed again, since when had she started thinking of him as just Ben?

Poe announced the winner and she continued signing.

It was nearing six-thirty when they finished. She took a few more photos with her lingering fans. Hux had come back around an hour ago looking tired and mildly annoyed at Ben. Maybe he was pissed Ben had been spotted? But then what’s the point of him actually coming if not for publicity? Something to feed the rumour mills?

She shrugged. Maybe they’ll tell her later. Poe didn’t seem to mind. It’d be good publicity for her too, more so than him. He didn’t really have much to gain from showing up at a nobody’s album launch.

She winced, remembering the comments on her page and the tweets about her using Ben Solo’s fame for her own gain.

She sighed.


	17. Rose is a Genius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Turkey Day! 
> 
> We don't celebrate Thanksgiving where I'm from but I hope everyone's having a good day. Eat lots of food and take time to relax safely given the circumstances of the world. 
> 
> And take advantage of the sales. 
> 
> -X

“You should’ve told me you’re here,” Hux hissed. Ben arched a brow.

“You’re the manager, Armitage,” He said pointedly. Hux winced at the use of his first name, “I thought it’s your job to figure out where I am at all times? I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“But you’re _here_. I think it’s a big deal,” Hux huffed, “And I was here too you could’ve at least warned me.” Then he turned to Rose, “And _you,”_ Rose grinned at him and he wilted, “You little minx,” He sighed and rubbed his hand on his face, “But this is fine. Phas is over the moon after she finished chewing me a new one.”

“What happened?” Ben’s brows furrowed. He just took a few pictures with people, what could be so wrong with that?

“You could’ve at least dressed better.” Hux said, “Something that’d at least fit Rey’s thing,”

Ben looked down at his clothes. It was a simple black v-neck sweater under a zip-up hoodie, jeans and boots, “What’s wrong with my clothes?”

Hux scowled and gestured at the Rose and Finn, “Look at their outfits. _I_ was wearing something similar earlier.” Ben’s frown deepened and he looked over to Poe who stood with Rey as they bid her fans goodbye.

He was wearing a leather bomber over his t-shirt and jeans.

“I don’t have a leather jacket with a hood,” Ben said and Hux’s scowl deepened.

“You really think a hood would hide you? You’re a fucking giant, Solo.” Rose snickered and Hux turned his scowl on her, “Don’t think you’re off the hook here, Rose.”

“Aw, come on. You said so yourself, Gwen was happy about it, right?” Rose looked up at her boyfriend with wide eyes and Hux groaned. She smiled, blinking innocently, knowing full well that her boyfriend was wrapped around her little finger.

“What did we miss?” Poe asked. He had Rey in tow but she didn’t look up at him.

“No idea, Hugs just came in and started scolding everything.” Finn said.

“I always did think he had a stick up his ass,” Poe said with an exaggerated sigh.

“Shut up, you twat,” Hux hissed, “Did _you_ know he’d be here?”

Poe arched a brow, “ _You’re_ his manager, how would _I_ know he’d be here?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Ben grumbled, “I even took pictures with people.”

“Exactly! If that doesn’t say Reylo, I don’t know what does.” Hux growled.

“Ah, therein lies the problem then.” Poe chuckled, “I don’t really see much of a problem really, I mean, it’s all good publicity for _my_ charge.” He wrapped his arm around Rey’s shoulder and pulled her close.

She flushed.

Ben scowled.

Finn snorted back a laugh and they all turned to see him chuckling at something on his phone, “Oof, your boy’s right Rosie you _are_ a minx.”

Rose grinned hugely, “I know right? Aren’t I amazing?”

Finn laughed, “Definitely retweeting that.”

“Retweeting what?” Rey asked and as always, her voice sent a shiver down Ben’s spine.

Finn grinned, “You should check your phone, baby girl.”

Rey frowned, “My phone died ages ago.”

They all turned to Ben who raised his hands, “I don’t have social media.”

Poe sighed dramatically and pulled out his phone, opening the app before laughing his ass off, “Oh, baby, I should _hire_ you.” He grinned at Rose who grinned right back.

“Oi, hands off my girl,” Hux scowled at him.

“I haven’t touched her yet, idiot.” Poe laughed, “Besides, I’m very happily in a relationship,” He winked at Finn who blew him a kiss.

“What is it?” Rey scowled. It was the first time Ben’s seen her with an expression that’s not anywhere near happy and cheerful and he found himself entranced, waiting for another show of emotion.

He didn’t doubt that she was a genuinely cheerful person but there was always something deep in her eyes that called to him.

“Here, look.” Poe motioned for Ben to come closer with the arm that was still wrapped around Rey’s shoulders, “You too, Solo. You’re going to want to see this.”

Ben grumbled and pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning on for the past three hours. He stood close enough to feel her tense and hear the hitch in her breath.

It was a photo of him leaning casually on the wall, looking all big and intimidating holding a very distinct baby pink plastic bag. Rose had taken the photo and posted it with the caption “OMG I’m at #BabyRey @That_British_Girl Rey’s album launch and #DaddySolo is in the house!” He flushed and looked down at the back of Rey’s head. He had an idea of what she looks like judging by the colour of her neck and ears.

It had been retweeted over four thousand times in over three hours and has had more than two thousand replies and retweets.

“Rose!” Rey screeched.

Rose cackled.

Ben…was oddly okay. Maybe it was the shock. He wasn’t used to being viral for months on end.

“Yes, Daddy Solo is a thing now thanks to you.” Hux said acerbically, “Do you have _any_ idea how many people is currently using that hashtag?”

Rose looked at him with an innocent smile and he sighed, more irritated at his inability to stay angry at her than anything else.

“This is _gold_ ,” Poe said with a laugh, “I’m keeping screenshots of this.”

Ben stepped away from them and cleared his throat, “I understand how this can be taken the wrong way.”

“You think?” Hux’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t be mad at him, Hux. It’s not his fault,” Rey said, still pink in the ears. She met Ben’s eyes briefly and looked away, “If anything it’s probably mine for doing that livestream,”

“Aw, sunshine, of course not.” Poe pinched her cheek, “It’s going to be fine, Papi Poe’ll make everything better.”

She turned bright red and shoved him away roughly, “Jesus Christ Poe, I don’t want to know all the kinky shit you and Finn do!”

Ben snorted back a surprised laugh at her outburst. He’d never actually seen or heard her curse before, especially not since he’d only really been watching her videos but judging by the look on Rose and Hux’s faces, neither have they.

Rey groaned and covered her face in embarrassment, “Poe brings out the absolute _worst_ in me.” Her accent had gotten more pronounced and Ben found it fascinating. Does she notice that? Can she control her accent in the same way he could?

“For the record, _I_ don’t call him Papi, _he_ calls _me_ that.” Finn clarified and Rey screeched.

Ben couldn’t help it. He laughed.

Everyone turned to him, surprised, “I’m sorry,” He said, trying to hold back and hide his laughter, “I just…” He snorted again. 

“You know what, this _is_ your fault,” Rey told him and he laughed again. She blushed, “I mean it,”

“I know you do, sweet thing.” Rey turned an even brighter shade of red, “Should I start calling you ‘baby’?”

Rose screeched and Hux clamped a hand over her mouth, arching a brow at Ben’s uncharacteristic display of charm.

“No!” Rey shrieked and he chuckled. Then, she quieted and the glint in her eyes when she met his again made him swallow nervously. Maybe he shouldn’t act like they were friends. They’ve only met twice after all, “Unless…,” She said, still looking at him with an innocent look that he wasn’t sure he liked, “Unless you want me to call you ‘daddy’?” She fluttered her lashes in a decidedly _not_ innocent look.

He sucked in a breath and felt the flush rush up his neck to his face and ears.

This time, everyone burst out laughing, even Hux.

“Oh shit, she got you there, Solo.” Finn said between laughs, “Jesus, baby girl, where you been? I was wondering when you’d stop gawking and blushing and turn that wicked sense of humour on him.”

Rey smiled innocently.

And fuck if hearing her say that didn’t make him want to hear it again.


	18. Old Habits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point in my life I need feedback; am I lacking anything, what are the strong points, weaknesses, what can I do to improve? 
> 
> And also is it a bad thing that it's turning more slice-of-lifey because my brother is an asshole who doesn't want to watch anything _but_ slice-of-life anime? (Also he is reading this as I type and he approves of being called an asshole. What a dickwad)
> 
> -X

“I’m going to change, it’s way too cold.” Rey said, already taking off the ears.

“You want me to go with?” Rose asked and she shook her head.

“I’ll be back soon,” She grinned and bounded to the direction of the restrooms with her satchel.

She made him blush.

Rey giggled. The way he laughed and called her _baby_ ; hearing it firsthand sent shivers down her spine. Did Ben have a secret Daddy kink? She didn’t think anyone else noticed the way his breath hitched or the way his eyes darkened before he looked away.

Or was it just her imagination? Either way she’d love to find out.

She shook her head and smiled at herself in the mirror, pulling her hair up in a messy bun and washing away the heavy makeup. She adored large sweaters, had spent hours in thrift stores looking with Finn. She still did sometimes.

Ben seemed like he had large sweaters. She flushed again and fidgeted with her hair before taking a bracing breath.

She should really stop thinking about things like that. Maybe they’ll become friends, eventually, but he didn’t seem like the type to let people in easily.

There was a coldness in his gaze that kept people an arms-length away.

She smiled when she saw them waiting for her.

“I think it should be safe to go out now,” Poe said, “Unless of course there are still people hiding in the bushes trying to catch Solo.”

Ben made a face and pulled his hood up. His hair was still pulled up and she almost laughed at the way he tried to cover his ears.

“I don’t think that’s going to work anymore,” Hux said with a sigh, “If anything you’ll be even more noticeable.”

Ben sighed and dropped the hood again before untying and shaking his hair out. He ran his fingers through them for good measure and her fingers twitched, wanting to do it for him instead.

It must be hard being as famous as he was.

“Try not to punch anyone,” Hux said with a sigh, “Just let us handle it instead.”

Ben snorted, “ _You,_ punch anyone?” He shook his head, “I’ve never seen you punch anyone in your life.”

“I have,” Rey said and grinned up at Ben, “I’ll do it instead of Hux.”

Hux scowled and Rose raised her hand, “Me too!”

“No,” Poe said, scowling, “Sunshine, I’m trying to keep your reputation spotless.”

Finn laughed, “Let’s just go, I’m starving. Pizza?”

“Of course,” Poe said, “I scouted one nearby when I was arranging the venue.”

“Is that why you chose this place?” Rey asked and Poe laughed.

“Of course,” He said shamelessly, “I know how much you love pizza and I heard this place is great.”

“How about the milkshakes?” Ben asked and Rey looked up, surprised, “What?”

“You’re not allowed to drink milkshakes,” Hux said and Ben scowled.

“Fuck off, Armitage.” Ben grumbled, “One milkshake wouldn’t hurt.” Hux raised his hands and shrugged.

“I hear it’s great too,” Poe said, “Rey loves milkshakes and pizza so of course I’d look those up.” He had a speculative look in his eyes as he looked at Ben, “I didn’t know you liked milkshakes, Solo.”

Ben arched a brow, “I don’t remember us being close enough for you to know that, Dameron.”

Rey looked between Poe and Ben, wondering what she was missing. Even Hux seemed to know what was going on but she, Finn and Rose were all left in the dark. What happened between the three of them?

They walked to the pizza place, getting quite a bit of looks and double takes. Phones were brought out but so far nobody approached.

When they arrived the had to wait since it was packed. Rey didn’t mind. Poe never insisted on special treatment for her and it seemed Hux was the same with Ben. They stood at a corner, waiting. Some people approached them to take photos with Ben. Others had come directly from her launch and took more photos with all of them.

After a few minutes, a manager approached them and they were seated in a round booth. She sat between Ben and Finn.

She flushed at the sudden proximity.

Poe was the one ordering. He’d taken everyone’s order, ignoring Hux’s squawking about Ben’s regimented diet. 

“Shut up, Hugs.” Poe said, “Let the guy live a little. You’re not shooting anything right now, right?”

Ben shook his head, “It’s fine, I have a fast metabolism.”

Poe grinned.

It was a noisy affair as it always was. Rey marvelled at how easily Ben and Hux fit in their little group, bantering and arguing with Poe and Finn like they’ve known each other for years. Knowing Poe though, he probably _did_ grow up with Ben and Hux.

“You alright, Rey Rey?” Rose asked, “You’re pretty quiet.”

Rey smiled, “Just a little tired,” She said, “And…I’m really happy.” She shared a look with Finn. There was a twinge in her chest and she grinned wider to cover it up. How long would they all get along like this?

She hoped they could all stay like this forever but show business is tricky, people aren’t always so honest and temptations are everywhere.

They continued eating and she pushed away the mellow thoughts, determined to enjoy the moment, “Bloody hell, Rey.” Hux’s eyes were wide, “Just where do you store all that food you’re eating?”

Everyone turned to her and she flushed.

Finn laughed, “Rey Bey always eats a lot. Like, a lot, given the chance.” She could feel her cheeks turn even hotter.

“Oh yeah, I was so surprised when I first ate with them. She ate a whole goddamn pizza and it wasn’t even thin crust.” Poe added and Rey wanted to sink into the floor and disappear, “Actually now that I think about it, Finn eats a lot too.”

“Christ,” Hux shook his head, “You two really are made for each other.”

She realised he meant Ben and she squirmed.

“Good pizza’s good pizza,” Ben said with a shrug. He’s probably eaten the same, if not more than her and he’s still eating, “I don’t see the point in holding back when you’re hungry,”

“Right?” Finn nodded, “Rey and I always ate a lot when we could since…” He stopped and his lips thinned.

“Hm?” Hux looked at him curiously.

“Since we didn’t always know when we could eat again.” Rey completed quietly and Finn grimaced, “I guess it became a habit.”


	19. Die Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next bit because again it doesn't make sense to end there. And also happy weekend. 
> 
> Feedback plz.
> 
> -X

Ben couldn’t imagine what she had to go through. He was stunned when she admitted what she and Finn had to do before.

“Oh, Rey,” Rose looked sad and Rey grinned. It didn’t exactly reach her eyes.

“It’s fine, we like to eat anyway.” She said and changed the subject.

He always had food to eat even if his parents were too busy. Besides, his grandmother was always there. Rey had said in her videos that her mom died just after she graduated high school. What happened between then and now? He wanted to find out.

He wanted so badly to ask but he couldn’t, not when everyone was around, not when they’ve just met.

He wanted to erase that look in her eyes and take care or her.

He rubbed the back of his neck and frowned at his pizza.

He’s taken so many things for granted.

“Who wants another milkshake?” Poe asked and Hux groaned when Ben raised his hand.

“Screw it.” Hux laughed lightly, defeated, “I’ll just tell Phas you never listen to me.”

“Then what’s the point of you being his manager then?” Poe arched a brow.

“Please, don’t tell me our little starlet listens to you _all_ the time.” Hux snorted. Ben suppressed a scowl and Hux glanced at him with an arched brow, as though daring him to say something.

Dickwad.

“Excuse _me_ , Hugs, she’s _my_ starlet. She has nothing to do with you.” Poe sniffed and threw a fry at him.

“Oi,” Hux scowled, “You’re wasting food.”

Rose giggled when Hux picked it up and put it in his mouth.

The two continued arguing and Ben leaned back, highly aware of the woman sitting next to him chowing down on pizza like she didn’t have a care in the world.

She looked exhausted but happy.

“We should take a picture,” He said suddenly and the table quieted. He cleared his throat, “To commemorate the occasion,”

“He’s right! I totally forgot!” Rose exclaimed and pulled out her phone. She was the very edge of the booth and scooted forward to take a group selfie, “Get closer and smile, everyone,”

People shuffled closer and suddenly Rey was pressed tight against him. He moved his arm back and around her shoulders. She stiffened slightly and he glanced down at her blushing face.

“One, two, three, smile!” Rose counted and Ben gave a close-lipped smile. She took another one and hailed a waiter to take a more formal photo of them.

He still hasn’t let her go. She fit neatly under his arm and he found that he liked having her there.

Rose called out to the server to take a photo for them and scooted back to lean against Hux.

“Thank you!” Rose said brightly.

The server looked at their table and stammered, “C-Can I, can I take a photo too? With you, I mean?”

“Oh, sure you can,” Poe said, smiling his usual charming smile, “Are you a fan of any of them?”

Ben looked up; the kid was bright red and couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes.

“M-my sister,” He said, “She was sick and couldn’t go to the signing,”

“Ah, Rey’s fan then.” Hux said simply, “What do you say, little starlet?”

Rey looked up and smiled hugely, “Of course,”

The kid stammered his thanks and pulled out his phone, taking a quick selfie with the table.

“What’s her name, your sister?” Rey asked. Ben still had his arm around her and he wondered if it’d be awkward if he took it off now.

“Ah, Lisa.” Rey smiled again and scrawled on the paper placemat, telling her to get well. She gave it to their server who flushed and thanked her before leaving.

“Well, that was nice.” Poe said, chuckling.

They continued eating.

Ben moved his arm away as inconspicuously as possible.

Hux caught his eyes and raised a brow.

Ben scowled.


	20. Great Jacket Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice feedback; I'm relieved that I'm at least on the right track! Please don't hesitate to comment if there's something wrong (typo or whatever) since again, it's un-beta-ed.
> 
> TW: implied alcoholism, some abandonment issues
> 
> -X

It was almost ten by the time they finished.

“That was fun,” Finn said and stretched his arms back, “We should do it again sometime.”

“Oh definitely.” Hux said, “I better call Phasma tonight, though.”

Rose chuckled, “Gwen’s not bad.”

“Ugh,” Hux rolled his eyes.

“She seems nice,” Rey said.

“Of course she does,” Hux muttered, “Fucking man-hating amazon, that woman.”

“And yet she’s Solo’s PR Manager,” Poe said, “And she makes him look _good_.”

“I _am_ good,” Ben snorted.

Rey was about to agree when she sneezed. They all turned to her, concerned.

“I think you should go home, sunshine.” Poe said, “Do you want us to bring you or—,”

“I can drive,” Rey interrupted, “It’s probably just the temperature change.” She sneezed again, “Bloody hell, it’s cold.” She frowned at the puff of smoke that came out of her mouth when she spoke.

Ben shook off his jacket and threw it around her shoulders, tucking it close around her.

Rey sucked in a breath and flushed.

Finn arched a brow and tried to hide his smile.

“I-I don’t need it!” Rey squeaked. Ben arched a brow and she turned an even brighter shade of red, “You might get cold.” She tried to take it off but he held it tight in front of her.

“I grew up in Mishawaka, sweet thing,” He said, “This is nothing.”

Rey looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear, “Thanks,” She mumbled.

Hux cleared his throat and looked at his watch, arching a brow.

Rey felt her ears get even hotter.

“We probably should start making our way back, ” He said.

“Yes,” Rey said clearing her throat.

“You’ve had a long day, Rey Rey,” Rose said, linking her arm around hers, “You should sleep the moment you get home.”

“No, no,” Poe said. They were all walking back to the launch venue where their cars were parked, “Rey has to charge her phone and tweet her appreciation first.”

“I know,” Rey said, laughing slightly, “I won’t forget.”

“Don’t comment on anything first. I’m sure there’d be a lot of questions regarding,” Poe glanced back at Ben, “Daddy Solo,”

Ben stumbled and scowled at him. Poe chuckled.

“I won’t comment or answer anything,” Rey said dutifully, not looking at Ben.

“You really did it this time, Rose.” Finn said.

“I mean, that ship sailed like a long time ago. I’m just, you know, fanning the flames, giving wind to their sails,” Rose shrugged, “I _am_ a big fan too.”

“I don’t think that’s how you use that term, darling.” Hux said, frowning, “Or is it?”

“In fandoms you do,” Rose said, “And there _is_ a growing fanbase for the two of you.”

“That’s a tad bit embarrassing, innit.” Rey muttered.

“Ben doesn’t mind,” Rose glanced at Ben who walked slightly behind them, “Do you?”

Ben shrugged and Rey sunk lower into his jacket.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to drop you off, sunshine?” Poe asked when they’ve arrived at the parking lot, “We can always come back and pick up your car tomorrow.”

“I’m okay,” Rey said, “I’m not _that_ tired that I can’t drive.” She turned to Ben and started taking his jacket off.

He shook his head, “Keep it,” He said, “It looks better on you anyway,” He gave her a half-smile, “See you around.”

“Th-thanks,” Rey looked down again, “And thank you for coming today,”

Their friends were standing a little off to the side, away from them, giving them some space. It was nice thinking of them as _their_ friends.

Ben shrugged, “You’re a good artist,” He said, “And I wanted to meet you.”

She looked up, surprised, “Really?”

“Okay, maybe I was a little hesitant.” This time he was the one to look away. He scratched the back of his head, “I didn’t want to disappoint you in case I didn’t live up to your expectations.”

Rey blinked up at him. Really? He flushed and shuffled, “You’re a lot different in person but I don’t think that’s a bad thing,” She said and he smiled, dimple popping. She flushed and cleared her throat, “See you around?”

“Yeah,” Ben said and nodded at Hux, “See you around, Rey.” He turned to leave. Hux and Rose bid their goodbyes as well and walked off to catch up to Ben.

“That was nice, wasn’t it,” Poe said, putting his hand on Rey’s shoulder, “I can totally see the connection,”

“Yup,” Finn stood on her other side, his hand on her _other_ shoulder, “It’s definitely there.”

“Shut up,” Rey muttered, unable to keep her eyes off of Ben’s retreating back, “He’s just being friendly. Maybe First Order put him up to it,”

“I don’t know Rey Bey, he’s a good actor but I don’t think you can fake _that_.” Finn squeezed her shoulder, “Plus I think he thinks you’re cute.”

“Oh, for sure,” Poe chuckled, “I mean I have a good eye for these.”

Rey rolled her eyes, finally tearing her gaze from Ben, “You’re a sap. I’m going home,”

They walked her to her car, “Don’t forget to charge your phone and tweet,” Poe reminded her and she saluted half-heartedly.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Manager, sir.” Poe ruffled her hair.

“Cheeky. Drive safe,”

Rey grinned at her friends and waved before driving back to her apartment.

When she saw the little brick building, she sighed. She missed going home to someone.

She had loved living with Finn. There was always someone to cook for, or cook with, and generally just someone to talk to in the middle of the night.

But now Finn has Poe.

It broke her heart when Poe asked Finn to move in but she _was_ happy for them. Finn deserved all the love in the world and Poe made him so happy that he’s just about ready to propose.

Which was funny because _Poe_ is getting ready to propose too.

Rey wondered if she could somehow get them to propose at the same time. Maybe Rose could help?

She went in her empty apartment and plugged in her phone before getting ready to take a bath.

The old clawfoot tub was what sold her to this apartment. Her mum didn’t have one but she’d bought a plastic storage bin large enough to fit Rey so she could have a soak, and every Christmas her mum would gift her a bath bomb.

Rey would slice it in four just so she could have more uses out of it.

She still bought herself one every Christmas just to continue the tradition.

She sighed and sunk into her tub. The water was hot, just the way she liked it.

Today was a good day. She was happy.

Most of the time though right after, something gnawed inside her. When everything has gone quiet and she was left home alone, she felt it, the gaping hole in her chest that years of being abandoned had carved out.

She sunk lower and closed her eyes.

Why did her parents prefer the bottle over her?

Why did they give her up?

She must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was jerking out of the cooling water in the tub.

Her phone was ringing.

She stumbled out and wrapped a towel around herself, shivering at the chill.


	21. The Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sequence takes place right before a long one in the next chapter; kind of like a segue. (will be posting the next chapter directly after so)
> 
> -X

Ben wasn’t sure if now was a good time to call. It was nighttime and he was sure she was busy, maybe asleep. Besides, she didn’t even know his number. Should he text first?

He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at her number. His finger was hovering over the call button but still, he hesitated. What if she didn’t pick up? What if she thought it was just some random unknown number calling?

He shut his eyes and pressed the button, putting his phone to his ear.

It rang and he almost cancelled the call.

But he really should stop pushing it away, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

His heart was pounding so loudly he barely heard her answering.

“Hello?” She said again and he opened his mouth to say something. He couldn’t. He swallowed the large lump in his throat, “Hello, is anyone there?” She sounded annoyed now, “Is this some sort of joke? I’m warning you, I don’t take kindly to prank calls.”

He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. He could hear his breath quiver and he swallowed again.

“Hi, mom.” He finally said, quietly. He wondered if she heard him.

Leia sucked in a breath and he heard something clatter. She muttered a curse and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Ben?” She sounded stunned that he’d call her, “Is that you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God.” She breathed and didn’t say anything.

He didn’t say anything either and the minutes wore on. Should he say something? He wasn’t sure what. Maybe he should’ve rehearsed first. Everything was easier if there was a script.

He cleared his throat the same time she started talking, “You go first,” She said.

“No, it’s fine.” Ben said, clearing his throat again, “What were you saying?”

“How,” She cleared her throat, “How are you?”

Pleasantries? “I’m fine,” He said awkwardly, “You?”

“I’m…” He expected her to say she was great but she hesitated, “You’re okay, aren’t you? You’re not sick or anything?”

“No,” Ben said. His brows lowered, “Are _you?”_ Panic made his chest tighten. Leia was getting old and from what he understands she threw herself into her work in Resistance when Han died. What if the stress got to her? What if _she_ has cancer?

“I’m fine,” She said quickly, “I’m fine. I’m healthy as a horse,”

Ben sighed softly. Thank fuck. Then he remembered. That’s what they said about Han too and panic gripped him anew, “Are you sure?”

She laughed softly, “Yes, I’m sure. I’m very glad to hear from you, Ben.”

Ben cleared his throat, “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

“I’m actually surprised that you did,” Leia admitted, “But I’m glad,”

There was another moment of awkward silence, “Do you…maybe,” He hesitated before adding, “Do you want to have lunch sometime?”

She didn’t answer immediately and he wondered if she was looking at her schedule, trying to see when she’d be free.

“I,” Her voice quivered, “Are you sure? I, I mean, I would love that! How does tomorrow sound? Oh, but won’t you be busy? Oh wait, it’s a Sunday isn’t it,”

Ben snorted back a laugh and she quieted.

“You sound so much like your father when you do that,” She said softly.

Ben sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“That’s great I, I… see you soon.”

He’d never really heard his mother so at a loss for words, “I’ll text you the details. We probably shouldn’t meet in the area,”

“You’re right,”

“Good night, mom.”

“Good night, Ben.”

He hung up and stared at his phone.

He was having lunch with his mother who he hasn’t seen in almost a decade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it wasn't Ben after all; sorry. X


	22. Refrain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in no way, shape or form related to Hatchet Hall (yes it is an actual restaurant in West LA). I just went there once for dinner when I went to visit a relative. It was pretty good (we had octopus). 
> 
> This was about 4 pages long in Arial 11 in my master document. 
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> -X
> 
> TW: Mentions of cancer, mentions of death, angst, repressed feelings, I warned you pls don't kill me I cried writing this.

Hatchet Hall was in West Los Angeles about half an hour from his penthouse. He _could_ have met Leia somewhere and the two could have driven to the restaurant together but he wasn’t quite ready for that yet.

He barely slept.

“Where are you?” Hux’s voice interrupted AC/DC blaring on his radio, “You weren’t answering your phone,”

“I’m out,” Ben said, driving expertly on the highway. He didn’t think the paparazzis were aware of his black pickup. Still, he kept his hood up and sunglasses on until he reached the highway.

“Yes, but where?”

“It’s Sunday, Hux.”

“Yes, but my work is never done.” Hux said patiently, “And I need to know where you are.”

“I told you, I’m out.” Ben said slowly, almost mockingly, “And I won’t cause any trouble.”

Hux snorted, “You already caused enough trouble. Twitter is blowing up with tweets about you and BuzzFeed’s been trying to get in touch again.”

“I’m sure you and Phas can handle it.”

“You could at least show a little more concern,”

“I don’t think it’s anything bad,” Ben pressed the horn angrily and resisted the urge to flip a finger, “I didn’t hit anyone.”

“Are you… _driving?”_

“Yes, I do know how to drive.” Ben said, “I _am_ a fully functional adult.”

“Where exactly are you headed?”

“West LA if you must know,” Ben sighed, “Don’t worry.”

“What will you be doing there?”

“None of your business. I’m driving, I gotta concentrate and you interrupted ‘Highway to Hell’.” He ended the call, ignoring Hux’s protestations.

 _I’m on the highway to hell._ He sang along.

He knew how to sing. Of course he did, having both parents in the music industry meant starting piano and guitar at five and voice lessons at seven.

He’d made reservations before leaving and his mother had confirmed that she’d meet him there. He was nervous. What would he say to her?

How would he apologise? _Hey mama, look at me I’m on my way to the promised land._

\--

There were quite a bit of people when he arrived. Leia hadn’t texted him that she’d arrived so he assumed he got there first. They sat him on a table at the far corner of the restaurant, away from prying eyes.

“Would you like a drink first, while you’re waiting?” The server asked.

“Just water for now, thanks.” Ben said and gave her a small smile when she gave him the menu.

His phone dinged and he looked at it. Leia had arrived. _Hey Jude, don’t be afraid._

He took a deep breath and turned to look at the entrance where she was giving the woman at the reception the reservation name. She led her to where Ben was. _You were made to go out and get her._

Ben stood and the two stared at each other.

“Mom,” He said. She was smaller than he remembered, older. In his mind she’d always been this larger-than-life person that can stare down people twice her size but looking at her now, wrapped up in Han’s old leather jacket, she looked tired.

“Hello, Ben,” She said softly and Ben snapped back to himself, remembering the manners his grandmother had so painstakingly tried to teach him when he was young. He pulled out her seat for her and she smiled, sitting down.

She was looking around the restaurant when he sat back down in front of her. The server came back with two waters and another menu and told them to please call her when they were ready to order.

“It’s a lovely place,” Leia said conversationally, “Very cozy.”

“Yeah,” Ben mumbled, “Food’s pretty good. They change their menu a lot so it’s always something new.”

“Really?” She looked at the brunch menu.

Ben called the waitress back, “I’ll have the rarebit and the skirt steak,” He looked at his mother, noting the new lines around her eyes and mouth.

“I’ll have the trout, please,” Leia said, smiling at the girl.

“What about your drinks?”

“The Sunrise Spritz would be lovely, thank you.”

“Irish Cold Brew, please.” Ben said. The girl repeated their orders and told them that she’ll be back with their drinks.

He drummed his fingers on the table and silence reigned.

The server came back with their drinks and flounced away again.

More silence.

Leia looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t.

Ben didn’t speak either.

He didn’t really have a good relationship with his parents. While he was growing up, Leia had been too busy trying to get Resistance up and running while Han toured around the country with his band. They spent a lot of time in Hollywood, only going back to Indiana every couple of months to see him and his grandmother Padmé.

Sometimes his uncle Luke joined them.

His lips thinned at the thought of his uncle. That there was another relative he hasn’t seen or spoke to in years.

Their food arrived and they started eating, still not speaking.

Maybe it was a mistake to call her after all.

Her fork clattered on her plate and he looked up, surprised. His mother had always been so composed so seeing her look so miserable made his throat seize, “I’m sorry,” She said softly.

“No, mom, _I’m_ sorry.” He said automatically, putting his utensils down and reaching over. He hesitated before taking her hand. Her hand was cold.

“No, _I_ am,” She said, putting her other hand over his, “This is…this is all our fault,” She said, “Han and I…” She swallowed almost audibly, “Han and I were so busy and we never…”

Ben squeezed her hand and grimaced, “You never asked for my opinion,” He said softly, “You always said that everything was fine.” He voice had gone hoarse and he forced himself to continue. He pulled his hand away from hers to grip his knife and fork again, “Both of you said everything was fine but I could see how much pain he was in.” He grimaced. _And anytime you feel the pain._

“Han refused to go through chemo,” Leia said softly. Her hands were on her lap now, “He said,” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, “He said he didn’t want to become a shell of who he was, that he wanted to—to spend as much time lucid as he could. He didn’t want you to see him like that,”

Ben started slicing at his steak roughly, just so he had something to do with his hands. He wanted to throw something. Anger he thought he’d controlled and punched out in the Marines came rushing out from inside him. _Hey Jude, refrain._

He hated both of them.

He wasn’t ready for Han to leave.

“None of us were ready,” Leia said. He must’ve spoken out loud. She blinked back tears and Ben wanted to do something, to make her feel better but he didn’t even know how to make _himself_ feel better, “He didn’t want any of us to worry.” She gave him a sad smile, “That was Han, always worrying about us, never about himself. I’m so sorry we didn’t…” She swallowed back heavily and took a sip of her cocktail, “I’m so sorry we failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me,” Ben said softly. He kept his head bowed, staring at his food unseeingly. He wanted to hurl his plate and shout and cry but he was in public and he had an image to maintain.

She did too.

Sometimes stardom felt like a noose tightening around his neck. _Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders._

“Yes, we did.” She sounded so resigned, “We should’ve…” She sighed, “We should’ve done so many things differently.”

“I just…” His tears finally fell and he wiped them away angrily, “I just wanted time.” _For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder._

“I’m sorry,” Leia said again. She reached over and placed her hand over his and he sighed.

“I’m sorry too.” He said, “I’m sorry I didn’t answer any of your calls.” _Hey Jude, don’t let me down._

“Your father would’ve been so proud of you,” She said, “ _I_ am proud of you.” _Remember to let her into your heart._

Ben let go of the knife and fork and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook and he let out an uneven breath and sniffled. He promised Hux he wouldn’t make a scene.

He shouldn’t have suggested lunch.

Coffee might have been easier.

Leia didn’t say anything as he cried. She was never really the doting mother type, not like his grandmother.

When he’d cried it all out, he sighed and rubbed his face.

“I should’ve ordered something stronger,” He mumbled darkly as he drank his cold brew.

“You sound just like your father,” Leia said softly and gave him a small smile, “He always did love his coffee and whiskey,”

“Dad didn’t drink,” Ben said. He eyed his cold steak and sighed before continuing to eat.

“He did back when we first met,” Leia said, chuckling softly, lost in her memories, “That man can drink a barrel of whiskey and still sing like he wasn’t drunk off his ass. He was like a fucking pirate.”

Ben frowned. He’d never heard his mother talk or curse like that before. Did he really not talk to his mother enough that he didn’t even know how she spoke?

“He stopped when we found out I was pregnant.” She continued, “He was determined to be a good father,” Ben looked away and grimaced, “Didn’t really do a good job though, on hindsight. The stage was like a siren, calling him. I wanted to support him.”

“You both left me.” Ben said and ran his fingers through his hair.

“We did.” She admitted with a sad sigh. She started nibbling on a carrot, “We didn’t think touring with a band was a good environment for growing child,”

“It wouldn’t be convenient that’s for damn sure,” Ben had thought about it for years. His parents never brought him with them whenever Han went on tour, “The lead singer with a son. It doesn’t fit the image,”

“Ben,” His name was a sigh.

“It’s fine. I get it. I’ve come to terms with it,” He wasn’t as important as the band and its image. Music had always been their firstborn, the love of their lives, which was why he was determined not to follow in their footsteps. _So let it out and let it in._

“I’m sorry,” Leia said again and he shrugged.

_Let the past die, kill it if you have to._

They continued eating as though nothing had happened.

“I hear you’re getting even more popular,” She said, expertly manoeuvring back to a safer topic, “Especially on social media.”

“I’m sure Dameron’s told you all about it.” He muttered sullenly.

“I can see the news myself. I’m not _that_ old.” She said almost teasingly. He wished they had an easier relationship, “And of course I do have to keep track of my stars.”

He stilled. Did she mean Rey?

“Had I known you were going to drop by the launch I’d have stayed a bit longer,” She continued, “It would’ve been nice to talk to you.” _Hey Jude, begin._

“We’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“Yes, I did wonder why you called me up so suddenly.” The Leia that he knew was back, the show earlier nothing but a mirage. Leia had always been strong. She didn’t even cry when they lowered Han’s casket into the ground.

But he knew she did, when she went back to their suddenly empty home. She’d broken down and cried. For all their faults, his parents loved each other. Han’s jacket over her shoulders was a testament to that. She never got over him.

He wanted that kind of love too for himself.

“I just thought it was about time.” He said when he realised that she had been waiting for an answer. _Don’t carry the world upon your shoulder._

“So, it has nothing to do with a certain girl whose album we just recently released?” She arched a brow and Ben couldn’t stop himself from blushing. He grimaced, “She’s nice,” She said with a chuckle, “I think you’d be good for each other.” _You’re waiting for someone to perform with._

Ben didn’t say anything but deep down he was glad that she thought so.

Maybe things _are_ looking up now that he was moving forward.

The air had lightened considerably. It was still awkward and stilted and tense at times, but it was better now that they’ve said what they had to. They even shared a pie.

“This is for you,” Leia said, sliding a brown envelope towards him, “Open it once you get home.” Ben recognised the worn handwriting in front. It was from Han, “I wanted to give this to you but you never answered my calls and I didn’t think it was the right time.”

He took it gingerly, like it was a bomb just waiting to explode in his hands.

“When you’re ready,” She said and he nodded once.

He paid for their meal and they walked out together.

“Thank you,” She said, “For calling me,”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, “Thank you for coming.”

“Maybe…” She looked up at him, all doe-eyed and hopeful, “Maybe we can do this again sometime? Or maybe we can go for coffee?” _The movement you need is on your shoulder._

Ben gave her a tight smile, “Okay. I think I’d like that.”

“Great,” She breathed a big sigh of relief. Her hand trembled and he knew she was just as nervous as he was, “That’s…great.”

They stood awkwardly for a moment, not saying anything. “I’ll walk you to your car,” He said and she nodded. He took her hand and tucked it in his elbow and she squeezed.

“Thank you,” Leia said quietly once they reached her white sedan, “Again.” _Take a sad song and make it better._

They were both so unsure and Ben sighed softly, spreading his arms out, wondering if she’ll take the bait and take the olive branch he was trying to offer. _The minute you let her into your heart._

She looked stunned for a moment and he almost dropped his arms, when her lower lip quivered and she took a large step towards him. She held on, tighter than he would have thought possible from someone with her stature.

His mother broke and she wailed in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes.

_Then you can start to make it better._

Everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to all those who had to break out their Beatles playlists for the thousandth time. 
> 
> -X


	23. Enter Phasma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the usual feedback and comments, they're really very inspiring (plus it's good for my self-esteem). Again, if there's anything wrong, a typo or whatever, don't hesitate to point it out.
> 
> -X

Rey almost forgot to post the video, just like how she almost forgot to tweet her thanks the night before. Poe had been the one to call her after about an hour of no posting. He knew her well enough to know that she’d have forgotten. It wasn’t the first time and she was grateful that he didn’t scold her.

She posted the video before making her way to the gym. She wasn’t really the health buff and she’d always been naturally slim but she had to keep her stamina high if she wanted to go on tour someday. That, and so she could dance _and_ sing at the same time.

She didn’t dance a lot before but when she’d signed on with Resistance, they’ve given her a variety of dance lessons, yoga and even some voice lessons to fine-tune her skills. She’d even done some backup for Resistance’s bigger names like jazz king Lando Calrissian. Really, she wouldn’t be where she was if it weren’t for Poe taking a chance on her.

“You’re early today, Rey Bey,” Finn was already there, warmed up and ready to go. The first thing he did when his novels started taking off was rent a slightly bigger apartment in a better neighbourhood for himself and Rey, and get a gym membership to at least maintain the body he’d honed for college football.

Rey had followed him to this gym soon after. She grinned, “Still buzzing from yesterday,”

Finn chuckled, “Have you been on Twitter today?”

“No, why? Poe said not to answer anything yet,”

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t. There’s a literal war going on.” He got on a treadmill and she got on the machine next to his after warming up.

“A war about what?”

“Your fans and his fans,” Finn wasn’t even breaking a sweat, “Your fans are mostly all for Reylo but some of his are a little…”

“They don’t like it,” She said, increasing the pace, “I know what they’re saying.” She sighed, “Besides, I know I don’t deserve to even know someone like him personally.”

“Rey,” He sounded like he was sighing, “Rey, you deserve everything the world has to offer,”

“I’m just a nobody who got lucky,” Rey mumbled and shook her head, “Anyway,” Her heart started racing and she started to pant, “It’s alright, I’m not bothered.” That was a lie; she knew he knew. She always ran away from her problems or ignored them, hoping they’d go away on their own. It was easier that way, to pretend like she didn’t really care.

“You should’ve gone into acting instead,” Finn said drily. 

“Oh, shut up,”

After gym Rey and Finn always ate a corner cafe. Today was no different. Rey loved schedules. She adored the routine and knowing what was going to happen and when. What she didn’t expect was an extremely tall blonde woman in a tailored white suit coming over to their table.

“Rey Johnson?” Rey looked up and blinked. She had to crane her neck back to meet the woman’s eyes.

“Yes?”

The woman stuck her hand out, “Gwendoline Phasma. You may call me Gwen or Phasma or Phas, whichever you’re comfortable with.” She spoke clearly in a very distinct Southern British accent.

“Oh, hello!” Rey grinned, stood and shook her hand, “So _you’re_ Phasma. It’s so nice to put a face to the name. Rose talks about you a lot.”

“I’m sure.” She chuckled drily as she handed Rey her card, “Would you mind if I join you?”

“Um, not at all, go ahead.” Rey motioned at the seat in front of her; Finn always sat next to her, and sat when she did, “So, how can I help you?”

Finn kept quiet, chomping away at his chicken sandwich.

“I’d like to ask you a few things,” She said.

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Sure, I guess? But first would you like to order anything?”

“Whatever you’re having is fine,”

Rey called for another sandwich and smiled tentatively, “So, what did you want to ask?”

“First of, I’d like to thank you for your role in Ben’s sudden surge in popularity,”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Rey said, “And he’s always been famous.”

“Even so, thank you for making my job slightly easier,” Her sandwich arrived, “Even though he tries his damnedest to make it harder than it is.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose and I certainly didn’t expect my video to go viral,” Rey grimaced.

“Your videos are very relatable to the everyday girl,” Phasma shrugged, “What do you think of him?”

“Of who?” Phasma arched a brow and Rey flushed, “You mean Be-Mr. Solo?”

Finn choked and Rey ignored him, flushing slightly. Phasma’s brow rose even higher.

“Mr. Solo, is it?” She chuckled, “I assume you haven’t been online yet.” Rey shook her head and Phasma slid her iPad towards her, “This was posted late last night and has since been shared over eight thousand times on Twitter and Facebook. BuzzFeed has been ringing nonstop and so have TMZ so I’m certain that it’s _not_ Mr. Solo.”

It clearly a photo of them standing outside the pizza place. Ben’s jacket was around her shoulders and his hands were clutching the two parts of it together in front of her. It was a very intimate photo and she could understand what other people would assume if they’ve seen it.

Her face felt hot, “I, I had no idea someone took this,” She said, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh? You’re sorry? Whatever for?” She sliced her sandwich expertly and used a knife and fork to eat, “Ben’s image has greatly improved since he’s been spotted crying in your little concert last month. What was once a beastly, violently turbulent man is now,” Her lip twitched up in a smirk, “A very passionate and sensitive ‘ _Daddy_ ’,” She made finger quotes and Rey felt herself turn bright red.

Finn choked again.

“Are you quite alright, Mr. Storm? I feel like the longer you are in my presence the shorter your life gets.”

Finn finally laughed, “Jesus lady, you’re very blunt aren’t you?”

“Quite.” She shrugged, “I don’t see the point of being otherwise.” She turned back to Rey, “Anyway, I didn’t quite expect that but I suppose I _should_ credit Rose for the term. I could _easily_ work with that and with _you_ around…”

“What about me?” Rey frowned.

“I ask you again, what do you think of him now that you’ve met? After all you’ve made it clear that you _didn’t_ want to meet him and Ben has admitted to being afraid of not living up to expectations and yet here we are.”

“I think…,” Rey chewed on her lower lip, “I think he’s nice.” Phasma arched a brow again and she looked away, “He’s…he’s surprisingly warm and thoughtful and charming. A little quiet and distant but not exactly shy and…”

“And?”

“And he has a very intense presence which, to be honest isn’t really much of a surprise.” Rey laughed a little, “I have probably read all the interviews and literally everyone said he has an intensity about him. I just never expected to actually _be_ in the presence of that.”

“Hm,” She smiled coolly, “I suppose that’s a very apt description of him. He’s a deeply complicated man. So what is your opinion of him, now that you’ve met and spent time together?”

Rey wasn’t sure how to answer. Should she tell Phasma that she likes him still, more so now that he seems more human?

“Rey?” She looked up; Phasma has that magnetism that forces you to _look_ at her even if you didn’t want to.

“I…,” Rey bit her lip again; it was a horrible nervous habit. Poe had repeatedly told her not to do it since it makes her bleed sometimes and she doesn’t realise.

“I can answer that,” Finn finally said, “If you’ll let me, of course.”

Phasma turned to him with her striking eyes, “You’re Dameron’s author boyfriend, are you not, are you her spokesperson now too?”

Finn shrugged, “I know Rey well enough to explain to you what she’s thinking. ‘Course, only if Rey thinks it’s fine.” Rey nodded and he turned to face Phasma, “She likes him.” Rey turned to him sharply, “What? You said I can explain,”

“Don’t worry, this is all off the record.” Phasma said, waving a perfectly manicured hand at her.

“Rey likes him, like a lot. She always did, and meeting the guy in the flesh and actually hanging out kind of solidified his presence in her mind and heart. He’s not just this bright star now and I think seeing him up close, in the same level as us, made her more aware of the different facets of him as a person.”

“That is true,” Rey mumbled, “He seems more real now, not just an actor I admire from afar.”

“I see why you’re a writer,” Phasma said, “Personally your novels aren’t my cup of tea but you know Rose, once you’ve gotten her to talk she’s not likely to stop.”

Finn shrugged and Phasma turned to Rey again.

“For the record, none of us knew how he would react to your video.” She said, “Generally he’s very indifferent to fans, even famous ones, but it seems he’s rather fond of you, even going so far as to make an appearance in your album launch.”

Rey flushed and looked down at her sandwich like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. _I never realised the bread here was so soft,_ “I think,” She stammered, “I think he’s just really curious and Rose is a long-time fan.”

“Possibly. Who knows what goes on in that boy’s head.” She sighed, “Even so, how would you like to date him?”

Rey looked up sharply, “Excuse me?”

“Date him. Ben.” Phasma met her eyes evenly as she took a sip from her cup of tea, “First Order thinks it’s a splendid idea and would open up tamer, more romantic roles for him. People’s image of him is already changing because of you. Of course, being Ben Solo’s girlfriend would also open up more doors for you in the industry.”

Rey felt the blood drain from her face. Was that how _everyone_ saw her? “I, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” She stammered, “I don’t want…” She wanted to say that she didn’t want to date him but she knew Phasma would know it was a lie straight away,“I don’t want to date him because of that.”

Phasma’s lips spread wide into a large smile and her eyes lit up unexpectedly, “Hux was right after all.”

“What do you mean?” Why did she always feel like she was missing something?

Finn snorted back a laugh, “Okay, what is this _really_ about? Are you even here as Solo’s PR Manager or as his friend?”

“I would say as both but then that would be a lie,” Phasma shrugged and took another sip from her cup, “Good sandwich, this.”

“You were testing me?” Rey frowned.

“A little, yes.” Phasma said, “Hux trusts people far too easily and I wanted to know for myself if that innocent face is real or fake,”

Rey scowled, “That’s _terrible_ , I’d _never_ do something like that for fame and fortune.”

“I don’t believe any of Dameron’s stars would,” Phasma agreed, “He’s a good judge of character but you can never be _too_ sure. After all, I’ve arranged my fair share of publicity dates for _my_ stars.”

“You mean Ben’s girlfriends?” Finn asked, “The models and actresses?”

“Of course,” Phasma shrugged, “It’s show business after all. You get seen together a few times, go on a few very public dates, both get talked about and their value as artists rise. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement.”

“So it’s all _fake_?” Phasma scowled when Finn’s voice rose, “Sorry,”

“Yes, they’re all mostly for publicity.” She shrugged again, “Of course, I’ve never encountered a popularity spike caused by a third party happen so organically before. Usually we have to promise a sponsorship first.” She eyed Rey again, very intently, like she was trying to figure out how to solve a very tough puzzle, “Who _are_ you, Rey Johnson?”

“I’m just a nobody,” Rey said automatically. She didn’t miss the slight twitch of Phasma’s brow, “Just a regular girl who likes an actor.”

“You do your own marketing?”

“More or less. Poe gives me a lot of advice and turns me to a specific direction sometimes but he mostly leaves me be. Creative freedom and all that,”

“I see.” Phasma inclined her head, “Well, there’s a reason why we never really got along.” She shrugged, “You seem like a good girl though. Not quite a good actor but a good girl nonetheless.” She finished her tea and sandwich and paid for their meals.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rey complained, “We would’ve paid for yours too,”

Phasma stared down at her, curious, “Now why would I let you do that? I was the one who ambushed you. See you around, Rey, Finn.”

Finn waved and Rey frowned as she left.

“She doesn’t think we’re poor,” Finn said, “Don’t overthink it.”

Rey let out a wavering sigh, “That was weird.”

“A little, yeah.” Finn looked at her, “Are you alright?”

Rey nodded. The encounter left her exhausted and on edge. She knew she wasn’t technically poor anymore but there are times when she could almost feel the stares and hear the whispers about the girl who fixes up cars in exchange for food and dumpster dives for furniture and junk she could sell. She was lucky she met Finn in her first year of college, otherwise she’d have to have slept in her beat up old car in the dead of winter.

She really, really hated sleeping outside when it was cold.

And she really didn’t want people taking pity on her.

“She seems nice though,” Finn continued and Rey smiled.

“She does,” She said, “I’m sorry for being a little off today,”

“Oh, you noticed?” Finn arched a brow, “Come on baby girl, I’m your best friend. You know you can talk to me and I’ll be there for you for life, right? You’re my ride or die bitch.”

Her smile turned into a grin and she laughed, “Poe would get jealous if he hears you say that.”

“Meh. Please. Bros before hoes; you know that,” Finn winked, “Unless of course you _do_ get with Ben Solo then I’d _totally_ take the backseat and watch.”

“You are insane,” Rey smacked his arm playfully and laughed, her gloom already forgotten.


	24. Good Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea ya'll would react to Phas like that! I thought I'd have gotten more of a reaction to Ben and Leia but I guess not lol.
> 
> -X

Ben sat on the area rug between his couch and his coffee table where the envelope Leia had given him sat unopened. Han’s blocky script glared up at him. He traced the heavy lines with his eyes, wondering when he’d written it since by the time he’d died he couldn’t even hold up a pen let alone write anything.

He didn’t want to open it.

He was terrified at what he’d find inside.

His phone rang and he jerked, “Hello?”

“You met with your mum,” Of course Hux would find out. He always did.

Ben sighed, “Yes.”

“…how are you?” He grunted, still staring at the envelope, “Why don’t I pop by later for dinner? Rose is sleeping over at Rey’s and it’s kinda lonely with her.”

He knew it was a lie but he grabbed it with both hands anyway, “Okay,” He said, “I think I can make pasta or something.”

“Great,” Hux said, “Tell me if you need anything from the store. See you in a bit,”

Hux ended the call and he sighed heavily, burying his face in his arms.

Sometimes he wondered who needed who more, him, or Hux? When they’d met more than twenty years ago Hux had been an abnormally scrawny, sickly thirteen-year-old fresh out of boarding school. Of course the other kids picked on him. Ben, recently moved from Indiana to LA, had been on the way home from school, walking again, since Han had forgotten to pick him up, when he saw a bunch of older kids harassing the redhead.

He’d gone home that day bruised and bloody but nobody dared to bully Hux again.

They’d been fast friends ever since.

Ben had been the one to get him into football and they even went to university together. He always thought Hux needed him but maybe it had always been the other way around.

He got up to prepare dinner.

The sauce was simmering by the time Hux let himself in.

“Something smells good,” He said, dropping the bags on the counter. He started rummaging in it and bringing out wine and whiskey and a bunch of snacks, “I can make cookies,”

“No!” Ben said quickly, “I’ll make it,”

“Oi, I know how to make cookies now.”

“Last time you tried you almost burned my goddamn kitchen,” Ben scowled, “The smell lasted weeks and I had to get the cleaners _twice_.”

“Oh come on, it was an accident. Besides, Rose taught me,”

Ben waved him away, “You can do the mixing or something,”

“Where’s your grandma’s recipe box?” Hux had met Padmé only once, when Ben went to visit her at the hospital before she died.

“On the bookshelf,”

Hux made his way to the bookshelf near the large glass windows overlooking Downtown LA and the ocean. The mahogany box sat at the centre surrounded by worn paperbacks.

Padmé’s cookie recipe was at the very front, considerably more worn than the ones at the back. He grabbed it and made his way back to the kitchen.

“What’s this?” He knew that handwriting too. He’d been a big fan of Han and the Chewies growing up, “Ben?”

“Hm?”

“Did your mum give you this?” Ben didn’t answer immediately, “Are you going to open it?”

“Maybe.” He finally said, “I don’t know yet.”

“Ah.” Hux cleared his throat and went back into the kitchen.

They kept quiet as they cooked. Ben distracted himself with the spices and Hux prepared the cookie dough.

“When are you going to propose to her?” Ben asked when the silence grew thick and unbearable.

“Soon,” Hux said, “Already have a few options for the ring. I was thinking maybe Christmas. You’ll be there, right? And I think Rose has already invited Rey. Of course, if Rey’s there then we’re going to have to invite Finn and Dameron too.” He didn’t sound very pleased with the thought of Poe Dameron attending the Christmas dinner he and Rose held annually.

“Of course I will,” Ben said, “You know I won’t miss it. I’ll bring a camera,”

“Maybe you can tell me later what you think about the rings,”

Ben made a non-committal sound deep in his throat, content to let Hux yammer on about GIA certificates and clarity and cuts.


	25. Enter the Skywalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who are still here, thank you so much. I know it's long but I really can't help myself. Do tell me if it's getting way too draggy though and I'll see if I can cut it back a little.
> 
> -X

Rey met Leia in one of the multiple hallways of Resistance.

“Rey,” Leia said. She wore the same leather jacket she always did over her white pantsuit, “Busy at work?”

Rey grinned, “On my way to meet Amilyn Holdo,” She said, “Poe said she wanted to do a collab and I’m so excited. I’m going to learn so much from her,”

Leia chuckled, “Amilyn’s a good one,” She said, “She was one the youngest stars we had. Kind of like you now.”

Rey flushed, “My growls still need a lot of work so I was hoping she could give me a few tips.”

“Oh, I’m sure she would. You’ve only just started but you’ve already achieved so much.”

“Thank you, that means so much to me,”

“How about you come to my office later once you’re done and we’ll have lunch together?”

Rey’s eyes widened, “Me? Lunch? With you?” Her smile widened, “Really?”

“Of course. I like to get to know my stars and you’ve been very famous online recently.” Rey flushed and muttered a small ‘thanks’, “Would you mind if my brother comes with us though? I haven’t seen him in a while,”

“I’m not sure when we’ll be done,”

“It’s alright, I’m sure Luke wouldn’t mind. How does Italian sound?”

“Great!”

“Wonderful. Come see me after you’re done,” Leia patted her shoulder twice before leaving her in the hall.

Rey squealed with excitement and ran to the meeting room where Amilyn and Poe were waiting for her.

“Well, someone’s happy today,” Poe said with an arched brow when she burst in the room, “Learn anything good? Someone finally text you a ‘good morning’?”

“No,” Rey rolled her eyes, “I met Ms. Leia on the way here and she asked me to lunch.” She grinned hugely and finally noticed the woman with the lilac hair and pink sequinned jacket, “Oh!” She flushed and Amilyn Holdo smiled at her, “I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting. I’m Rey.”

Amilyn shook her hand, “Don’t worry, we all come at the right time,”

“And here we go with the Holdo-speak,” Poe laughed, “Well since you’re here, let’s start,”

Amilyn, Rey learned, didn’t have a manager but she _did_ ask Poe questions every now and then, which was a little strange since she had seen Poe in diapers.

“Amilyn worked with my parents,” Poe laughed, a little embarrassed.

“Yes, he was an adorable child, very curious with that mop of curly hair. I always thought he’d be a performer himself,”

“Eh, the stage can’t handle this,” Poe motioned to his body, “So I’ll help pretty young starlets like Rey instead. Speaking of, what exactly do you want from Rey?”

“I wanted to change my image up a little. I’ve always been more on the wilder side but change is always good.” She shrugged, “I’ve been trying out softer tones and pastels a bit more,”

The three of them brainstormed about Amilyn’s new single and what role Rey would play. She was very easy to talk to and work with and by the end of their meeting, they’d hashed out most of the details.

“I’ll take Amilyn to lunch,” Poe said, “You go find Leia,”

Rey smiled and shook Amilyn’s hand again, “It was so nice to meet you and I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“And me with you,” She replied tranquilly, “Enjoy your lunch, young one.”

Rey waved goodbye at the two of them and made her way to Leia’s office. She knocked and waited for Leia to tell her to ‘come in’ before she entered.

“Hi, Ms. Leia, we’re done,” Rey said.

“I told you,” Leia said with a small laugh, “Leia is fine.”

“Or General, General is good too with how she works everyone,” The man sitting calmly on one of Leia’s overstuffed chairs. His hair was long and his beard was neatly trimmed. Rey assumed he was Luke, Leia’s brother, but they looked nothing alike.

“Luke Skywalker,” He said, standing and reaching out for a handshake.

Rey shook his hand, “Rey Johnson,”

“Oh, I know,” His bushy brows rose, “Didn’t expect you to be this small though,”

“You probably already guessed, this is my brother.” Leia sighed.

“You don’t look alike,” Rey said, a little shyly. She eyed Luke’s black leather jacket and thin t-shirt, wondering why he wasn’t shivering with cold. She herself was shivering despite the fuzzy baby blue jacket she wore.

“We’re fraternal,” Leia said, “I obviously got our mother’s good looks. He, I think he’s more a changeling than anything.”

“Hey, I resent that,” Luke huffed, “It’s hard to believe we’re twins.”

“Luke will be joining us for lunch.” Leia swung her jacket on and grabbed her purse.

“Yes, I’ve heard so much about you,” Luke eyed her with eyes so bright a blue it seemed unnatural, “The YouTube girl with the golden voice.”

“Hardly a golden voice,” Rey ducked down and flushed, “I just got lucky.”

Luke snorted, “Leia’s not going to get just about anyone you know. You should have more self-confidence.”

He threw his arm around Rey’s shoulders and ushered her out the door. Leia locked her office and Luke tucked her in under his other arm, “Look at me, I have two pretty women in my arms,”

“Don’t tease the poor girl, Luke.” Leia said, “Rey’s shy,”

“Nah, we’re family, aren’t we?” Leia elbowed him, hard, “Ow.”

“You can file for harassment, I won’t mind.” Leia told her and Luke huffed again, “I won’t bail him out either and your record will remain spotless.”

“Oh, come on, let me enjoy myself a little. I always wanted a daughter,”

“You would if only you’d get yourself a wife.”

Rey had never had siblings and she never stayed in the foster homes long enough to be able to build relationships with the other kids so seeing Luke and Leia interact was fascinating.

Luke eventually let go of both of them, opting instead to walk alongside them, chatting about his work.

“Luke’s a travel photographer and journalist so he’s never in one place for long,” Leia explained.

“I have a wanderer’s heart,” Luke said, “There’s just so much to see in the world,”

Was there, really? Rey had only ever been on a plane once, when she was brought to the States from the UK at six and she’d been too poor to go on vacations.

They walked and Rey shivered.

“You’re very prone to the cold, aren’t you,” Luke pointed out, “Have you ever tried a heated jacket? Or a down winter coat?”

Rey wondered how she should answer.

“To be fair none of those would fit her image,” Leia said, “Her character’s very cute and friendly.”

“Yeah, but look at her, she’s freezing.”

“I’m fine,” Rey said, trying to suppress another shiver, “I just didn’t expect the wind today, is all.” Luke frowned at her, “I spent a lot of time in Nevada.”

“Winters are cold there though,” Luke pointed out.

Rey shrugged, “My mum always had hot chocolate around during winter.”

They went in the restaurant, still busy despite it being after noon, “For three please,” Leia said and they were let to a table, “You should try the burrata salad, it’s lovely.” She told Rey who chewed her lip nervously.

LA has always been an expensive city so restaurants with tablecloths and table napkins weren’t her usual haunts. True, she wasn’t poor anymore but old habits are hard to get rid of.

“Why don’t you order for me?” Rey said, “Since I’ve never eaten here before.”

Leia’s face lit up and she called the waiter to order.

“Don’t order so much,” Luke warned, “You always order a lot,”

“Oh, shut up, you. Rey’s a growing girl, she needs nourishment. And experience different food.”

Rey sunk a little in her seat.

“She’s not a child,” Luke winked at her and she flushed, “From what I hear she’s being paired with a certain someone on the internet.”

Rey sunk even lower when Leia laughed, “Yes, they’re causing quite a stir online.”

“So, kid, are you dating him?” Luke asked, his eyes twinkling.

Rey shook her head, “No, we only met twice and people kind of just…” Her cheeks felt hot, “Assumed?”

“You look good together,” He said and eyed salad as it arrived, “You have that whole little red, big bad thing going on.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good comparison,” Leia frowned at him and smacked his hand when he tried to slice the big white ball in the middle of the salad, “You have to remember big bad killed grandma and ate little red,”

Luke snorted, “Going back to the original lesson of the story it’s more about sweet, innocent girls falling into the hands of evil men with evil intentions.”

“Why don’t you cut the cheese, dear?” Leia told Rey before turning back to her brother, “Are you trying to say that Ben’s an evil man with evil intentions?”

Rey sliced the cheese and watched fascinated as cream oozed out.

“I’m not saying _that,_ but you have to admit he’s a little wild.”

Their pastas arrived and the siblings continued arguing about Little Red Riding Hood and Ben Solo.

Rey wondered if it was rude if she were to start eating without them? She cleared her throat and the twins stopped arguing. Leia flushed, “Oh dear, that was quite rude of us.”

“It’s okay,” Rey said, smiling, “It’s nice to watch you two. I never had siblings so I can’t really relate,”

“You’re an only child then?” Luke asked, dumping salad and cheese on Rey’s plate.

“Sort of?” Rey thanked him and took a small bite, resisting the urge to wolf it down because, come on, it’s cheese. Cheese is always good, “I never met my bio parents and my mum never had children or adopted anyone else,”

“Oh,” Luke frowned.

“Oh I’m sorry dear,” Leia said softly, placing a hand on her arm.

Rey shrugged, “It’s okay. Mum was a great person,” She hated the look of pity in their eyes. This was why she didn’t really tell people that she was adopted. Nobody needed to hear her sob story.

“Anyway, I heard you’re working with Amilyn,” Luke said, “Great gal,”

“Yeah, I’m really excited to work with her. Of course, we’re a bit tight on time since she wants to release by early next year and it’s already December,” Rey frowned.

“Speaking of December, what are your plans for Christmas?” Leia asked her.

“Um, I guess I’ll buy a few gifts for my friends and bake? Rose and Hux invited us over for their Christmas dinner so that’s nice.”

“I see. They seem to be good friends,” Leia said slowly, “Even though they’re from First Order.”

“Bah, let the girl think for herself.” Luke looked at her, “Don’t let work interfere with your personal life. If your friends are in First Order, don’t let the biases of Resistance taint it.” She nodded, “Of course, I still think you should be careful when dealing with young Solo. That boy has issues.”

Rey looked down at her plate and shrugged, “I mean, everyone has issues, right?” Is this what it feels like to actually have a father? All of a sudden she remembered Rose’s infamous tweet and flushed.

“Yeah, but if you’re not careful, you _could_ get hurt.” Luke shrugged and changed the subject.

He asked her about her work, admitting that he only looked her up because she’d started trending online.

“I’m more of a Rolling Stones fan myself,” He said, “Of course, I loved your cover of ‘Hey Jude’,”

Rey flushed, “Thank you,” She said, “It was my mum’s favourite song.”

“Oh? It’s Leia’s too. Han used to serenade it to her especially when she was angry at him.”

“Han?” Leia never told her her husband’s name.

“Oh, Han the Space Pirate,” Luke chuckled, “You weren’t born yet when they were popular but,”

“Wait,” Rey turned to Leia with wide eyes, “Your husband is Han Solo, as in _the_ Han Solo from Han and the Chewies?”

Leia took a sip from her wine; when did she order that? Her lip twitched up a little but didn’t say anything.

“He sure is. We snuck out one night to attend the concert, she didn’t even want to go but I convinced her and it was like,” Luke gestured with his hands and made a whooshing noise, “Love at first sight, just like that.”

Leia flushed and Rey grinned, “They didn’t say that in the interviews,”

“Of course they didn’t publicise it,” Luke chuckled, “Han does have an image to maintain.” Of course he did, stars always had a certain image they had to protect. Poe himself was always going on about how she has to maintain her image and keep her head down.

“That is amazing though!” Rey laughed, “I remember when my mum picked me up the first time she was listening to ‘Wookie Jam’. She said it was so ridiculous it was bound to make me laugh and break the ice,”

“She seems like a wonderful person, Rey.” Leia said and Rey’s eyes stung. She was the best person she’d ever met.

“Great thoughts on music too. I told him it was a stupid song but it stuck, kind of like a Weird Al kinda thing.” Luke said, “But more importantly she seemed to have raised a great, talented girl,”

Rey gave him a watery smile and mumbled ‘thanks’.

“I agree. Of course, Poe _did_ recruit you and he’s always had good instincts.”

“Right, how _is_ that little Dameron boy?”

Rey listened to the two talk, gleaning more information about themselves and Poe and Resistance.

It must be nice having a sibling.

Maybe someday she’ll have children.

At least two, since she knew how lonely it was being alone.

Two is a good number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still loving this @Valla? 
> 
> \- X & Y


	26. Social Media

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I've replied to some of you, I'll put out more double updates depending on the situation so things aren't too slow and so as to not hamper your reading. Would that work? Let's see.
> 
> -X

“Your trainer is going to kill me,” Hux muttered darkly, “I’m not supposed to let you eat so much junk,”

Ben grunted and took a large bite of his burger, “Fuck off, Armitage.” Everything was so bright and his head was pounding. He should’ve just taken the day off.

“Who told you two to get drunk off your asses on a weeknight?” Phasma scowled, “We’re not in college anymore.”

“I have never felt so old in my life,” Hux groaned and drank his soda, “But I was lonely and—,”

“Oh, cut the crap Armitage,” The blonde snorted, “We all know Rose didn’t spend the night at Rey’s.”

Hux’s lips thinned and he glared at her through his sunglasses.

“You’re never really a good liar,” Ben said, “Thanks though.”

“What are friends for, yeah?” Hux chuckled.

“And none of you thought to invite me. I’m hurt,”

“You’ll probably throw out all the alcohol if we did.” Ben said.

“True. So, what do you want to do?” Phasma asked, “Thankfully nobody got a clear picture of you and your mother but somebody’s bound to dig something up if they’re determined enough.”

Ben shrugged, “People would find out eventually. I’m wondering if we should just be done with it and tell everyone.”

“That might be a bit more complicated. Leia is notoriously hard to read and very private too,” Hux said in between chews, “So you’re going to have to talk to her again.”

“Unless of course we do something drastic to distract everyone.” Phasma gave them a smile and Ben shivered.

“I don’t like that look on your face,” He said, “It’s never good for me.”

“Please, we’ll just give them a few things to talk about.” Phasma kept smiling, “And I won’t need anything from you so don’t worry.”

Hux eyed her thoughtfully, “You already did something, did you.”

“Of course,” She shrugged and nibbled on her salad, “I do my best to keep my stars out of trouble,”

“What did you do?” Ben sighed heavily.

“Nothing too bad, I assure you. I just maybe a little, leaked a little project your darling is doing.”

“What?” Ben scowled, “Does Rey know?”

“Oh? I don’t remember saying it was _Rey_.”

His scowl deepened and he shot a glare to Hux who was snickering.

“I _did_ speak with Poe Dameron about it and he was very relaxed about it.”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t like using other people to get attention away from me.”

“I know _that_ and obviously I won’t use the girl you seem to adore against you.”

Ben’s scowl did nothing to hide the flush that made its way to his cheeks.

“Don’t deny it, Solo.” Hux chuckled, “Everyone with eyes can see.”

“Most of the public’s opinion on social media is approving of the relationship anyway,” Phasma added, “And I’m sure I’ll be able to wrestle your fans into place.”

“Why?” Ben’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

Phasma raised a brow, “You don’t know?”

Ben arched his brow too, “Does it look like I have social media?”

“Well, a lot of your fans have been talking shit about Rey.” Hux said slowly, eyeing Ben as though he were a wild animal and not a human man, “Saying she’s just using your name as a stepping stone to stardom,”

Ben grimaced; he had thought that too. Has it only been two months since he’s first heard of That British Girl?

Phasma watched the emotions flashing through his face and smiled, amused, “Well, I don’t know about you boys, but I have work to do.”

They finished their meals quickly and made their way back to the meeting room Phasma had reserved for them for the day.

—

Hux had stepped out and left Phasma and Ben alone.

“Yes?” Phasma arched a brow and Ben scowled, “Was there something you wanted to ask?”

His lips thinned and Phasma kept smiling as the silence grew longer.

“Help me set up a Twitter and Facebook account,” He finally said through gritted teeth.

Phasma’s predatory smile widened, “You do know Hux and I will have to have access to it, don’t you?”

Her expression was positively gleeful and if Ben were honest to himself, it kind of scared him a little. Gwen Phasma was generally _not_ a gleeful person.

“Yes,” He grimaced, “Yes, I know that.”

“Why the sudden change of heart, Benjamin?”

He scowled and she chuckled, handing him her iPad. She coached him on the details of his account and told him to use his official First Order email and verify the account.

“That’s the checkmark that appears next to your name,” She said, “Would you like an Instagram account, as well?”

“I’m not likely to use that,” He said.

“Might as well, you’re already here anyway. Besides, I hear she uses that more often for photos.”

“…fine.”

And so they proceeded to create an Instagram account for him and Phasma linked it to the newly created Ben Solo Facebook account.

“See, easy peasy,” She patted his shoulder, “Do be careful of what you’ll post though. You’re a public figure so people _will_ see what you post or who you follow and _that_ can make or break your career. Of course, I did set your Facebook on private. ”

“This is why social media terrifies me.” He muttered.


	27. Following

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's bit. Let me know what works.
> 
> -X

Rey was exhausted by the time she arrived home. After her lunch with Luke and Leia, complete with an obligatory picture on Instagram tagging the reclusive travel journalist, she had to go back to brainstorm some more with Poe and Amilyn.

Then someone had let it slip that she’s working with _the_ punk rock queen of the century so Poe had her confirm it and post photos of the meeting itself.

She took a quick shower and crashed into her bed, ready to sleep when her phone rang.

“Oh. My. God. Rey!” Rose squealed on the other end, “I _swear_ Armie and I had _no_ idea.”

“Huh?” Rey frowned, wondering what her friend was on about.

“We didn’t know either,” Finn was in the call too, “Poe’s just as surprised as you are,”

“What’s going on?” Rey asked.

“You don’t know yet?” Poe asked; Finn must have them on loudspeaker.

“Check your social media accounts. Like, _now_.” Rose said excitedly.

“Does it have to be now? Poe worked me to the bone today,” Rey mumbled and yawned.

“I did _not_.” She could almost see the scowl on Poe’s face, “Amilyn did.”

“Trust me you might want to see this one,” Hux said in his usual reasonable, calm, manager voice. Rey supposed Rose had her on loudspeaker too. It was strange having a three-way conversation between five people and it made her feel a little cold and lonely that both her non-industry friends had a significant other living with them.

“I am _so_ excited,” Finn gushed and Rey sighed.

“Hold on, let me put you guys on loudspeaker.” She yawned again and opened Twitter first.

Her notifications was buzzing with mentions. She frowned, “I didn’t do anything,” She said, “Did I?”

“Check your new followers,” Finn said.

She did and bolted straight up with a gasp.

“Did you see?” Rose asked, “I never thought I’d see the day!”

_Ben Solo started following you._

She clicked on his name; it even had that little checkmark telling her that it’s an official, verified account, and found nothing. His account was blank, the description empty.

He’d joined today and he already had more than a million followers and the only account _he_ was following was hers.

“Hux are you messing me with me?” Rey asked, not sure whether she should laugh or get mad, “This isn’t very funny,”

“I assure you, I had nothing to do with this.” Hux said evenly, “I was just as surprised as you.”

“Check IG and Facebook,” Finn suggested.

She did and sucked in a breath when she saw that he was following her on Instagram as well. Again, there was nothing on his profile, just a few pictures of his movies and some of the sets.

“Phas and Solo did all this when I went out of the meeting room for a bit,” Hux said, “He’s always been adamant about not having social media. Phas and I both have access to the accounts but…”

“He added me,” Rey said, dumbfounded, “On Facebook.”

“Girl, what are you waiting for, add him back,” Finn said.

“And don’t forget to follow him back on Twitter and Instagram,” Poe said, “This is _really, really_ good.”

Rey hesitated.

Was it really him and not her friends messing with her? Her finger hovered over the ‘Add Friend’ button and she shut her eyes when she clicked it.

“Follow him back,” Poe said insistently and she did.

She bit her lip, wondering what the backlash would be come morning.

“This is amazing!” Rose squealed, “I can’t believe he made those accounts without telling us!”

“Are you _sure_ you didn’t know anything Poe?” Rey asked, “I mean I won’t find it strange if you had something to do with it. Did you talk to Phasma or something because of all the hate mail?”

It would, ideally, make his more hateful fans tone down their ire if Ben Solo showed public support for her. They _were_ mostly right, she _was_ a nobody who’s only recently becoming more mainstream.

“Nope,” The ‘p’ popped, “I swear to all kinds of gods that I had nothing to do with it. Which reminds me, I should call her and ask what that’s about. I’ll let you know.”

“Yes, I will have to call Ben too.” Hux said, “He didn’t really explain anything either and he hasn’t added me yet.” Rey smiled; Ben Solo added her first? Even before his own manager and childhood friend?

“This is so exciting,” Rose gushed and Finn agreed, just as excited.

“Our little Rey of Sunshine,” Finn said a little dramatically, “All grown up and making friends with her crush. I’m so proud,”

Heat suffused her cheeks and she was grateful nobody could see her.

“Our child is leaving the nest,” Poe added, equally dramatic, and Rey laughed, “Is this how it feels like? Hugs!”

“What?” Hux snarled, “And why the bloody hell do you keep calling me that?”

“You always looked like you need a hug or two.” Poe said.

Silence.

Then, Rey laughed, “Sorry,” She said and heard Rose giggle, “I mean, I’m not laughing _at_ you.”

“To be fair when we first met, you looked like you had a stick up your ass.” Rose said, snorting and then laughing.

Hux grumbled.

“Make sure your child takes care of ours,” Poe finally said, “Or I’ll cut you.”

“Oh, please, Poe. You can’t even cut cardboard straight,” Rey said, chuckling.

“Well, I mean,” Finn said and Rose laughed even harder.

“You all are ridiculous,” Hux sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'Hux looked like he needed Hugs' portion came from Y. 
> 
> -X


	28. Chest Aches and Heart Attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say double updates? How about triple? I mean three things happened in 1 day/night so here we go. But please don't get used to 3 updates because I still have to pace myself so I don't actually catch up to myself. 
> 
> -X

Ben’s phone dinged with a notification and he had half a mind to ignore it. Since he made his accounts and downloaded the apps, his phone ran almost non-stop notifying him that he had new followers and mentions and it was driving him insane.

Phasma had only laughed when he asked how to shut it off.

Technology sucks.

His phone rang and he jumped.

“What?” He snarled, not looking at the caller.

“Well, hello to you too. I see this is a bad time.” Ben grimaced and flushed at her dry tone. It felt like he was back in high school again, listening to his mother scold him for the first time in his life.

He’d watched, wide-eyed and fascinated as she'd tried to keep her cool and failed miserably.

“Mom.” He said, “Sorry.”

“I was hoping we could meet up sometime, for coffee?” They’d only met the other day and Ben frowned, “I know you’re very busy but it’s almost Christmas and I’d like to make up for lost time.”

His frown deepened and he rubbed his chest. He was guilty; seeing his mother again after so long and realising how _old_ she looked. In his mind she’s always been and probably always will be, this dark-haired tornado, energetic and unstoppable, rushing into your life so quickly it leaves you dizzy and wondering where she went as soon as she left.

And she left a lot.

She and Han did. He spent a lot of time over at Hux’s house, more times than Hux has in his.

Then, they sent him to uncle Luke’s to ‘mellow’ down.

It didn’t exactly go as planned.

“I guess,” He said when he realised she was waiting for him to answer, “But I don’t want _him_ there.”

Leia didn’t say anything immediately. She knew who he meant, “…okay.” She finally said, “That’s fine.” She paused again, “Would you like to go Christmas shopping with me?”

“What?” Did he ever go Christmas shopping with her?

“I haven’t decorated the house since…” She cleared her throat, “Since you father and…I think it would be nice to start again. And you know how notorious my parties were back in the day,”

Ben frowned. She sounded so sad and he rubbed his chest again. She didn’t really have that many Christmases left and she didn’t have anyone left either except for that dickwad. Even then, he wasn’t even in the country most of the time.

Still, he knew his mother. He knew she was planning something.

He sighed, “Okay.” He finally said.

“Great!” She said, suddenly cheerful again. He rubbed his face with his hand and suppressed a groan, “How about Saturday? Oh, why don’t we have lunch again while we’re at it? Then we can go get coffee after and go shopping,”

This time, he did groan. He knew he got his talent for acting from _somewhere_ , “How about dinner too, while we’re at it?”

“Marvellous idea!” Leia said excitedly, “I can’t wait, I’m so excited. I want to hear all that I’ve missed these past few years,” A decade isn’t exactly a few years but she seemed happy enough, “Of course, I’ve been following your career but it doesn’t really say much about what you do outside of it. And I always knew you’ll be great at whatever you put yourmind to.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“And I hear you’ve finally got yourself on social media! Do add me,” Then she quieted again, “I know kids these days won’t add their mothers though but,”

In his mind’s eye he could almost see the teary look she’d give him with those wide eyes. It was a look that she often gave Han who crumbled every time. He didn’t really get it at the time.

He sighed again, “I will.”

“Wonderful!” She laughed, “I’m so glad you got in touch with me. Now, I can die peacefully,”

He tensed, “Don’t say that. You’re not that old,”

“Yes, but if it does come sooner than expected at least I got to talk to you again,”

“You’re not sick or anything, are you?” His heart started to pound, “Did you do your annual checkups?”

“We just had this conversation last week,” She reminded him, “I’m fine. I can even email you the results of my checkup.”

“ _Please_.” He gritted out and she grew quiet again, “Mom?” He swallowed the thick lump that formed in his throat.

“We really fucked up, didn’t we?” She said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

Ben sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah,” He said, just as quietly, “Yeah you did. But hey, at least I didn’t end up an axe murderer,”

She chuckled and it felt good to make her laugh.

“I missed you, Ben.” She said.

“I missed you too, mom.” His chest ached; it seemed to ache a lot recently. Maybe he shouldn’t eat so much junk after all. He could already imagine the headlines: _Promising young actor found dead in bathroom after apparent heart attack._


	29. Look at this Photograph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback! And also I swear there's no heart attack. Ben's too young for that and he's just a big dork. 
> 
> -X

Of course Ben Solo would be trending again. Rey bit her lip and eyed her feed. The more hateful tweets had been mostly buried by people mentioning her and asking her questions.

_@That_British_Girl are you dating @BenSolo ? #Reylo for real?_

_@BenSolo follow me too! #ImBabierthanRey #Joking #Reylo4Eva_

_@That_British_Girl how is #DaddySolo treating our sweet #baby princess?_

_@BenSolo please don’t hurt our #BabyRey @That_British_Girl she’s smol and sensitive._

That last one had a photo of Bubbles from Power Puff Girls and it made her laugh a little.

There was even fan art of them. Some were cute, others were a little creepy.

Then there was _that_ old movie scene with the high-waisted pants and bare chest. She flushed at the amount of people tagging her asking if he really was as massive in real life as in the movie.

She scrolled down some more and bit her lip when she finally saw the picture taken outside the pizza place. She didn’t really get a good look when Phasma showed it to her but now she took her time. His jacket was so obviously huge on her. She still hasn’t returned it.

She saved the photo and flushed; it’ll be her dirty little secret. No one would know she saved the photo, right?

The app refreshed and she saw a new tweet from Rose.

_@AndorsPizzeria is a great background for a budding new romance <3 #nofilter #Reylo_

There was a photo attached and she sucked in a breath. It was a beautiful photo really, she and Ben stood off to the side and the neon lights of Andor’s Pizzeria tinged everything a soft red. It looked more like an artsy shot than anything; Ben was smiling at her and she was looking up at him, wearing his jacket. She didn’t even realise she'd been smiling back.

She flushed. When did Rose take that? Andor’s Pizzeria replied almost immediately.

_@rosieposie Lovely photo, mind if we share it on our social media accounts?_

Rose replied in _YES_ in all caps.

Rey’s breath hitched and she called Rose.

“What are you _doing_?” She asked almost hysterically.

“Saw the photo, did you?” Rose laughed, “Pretty right?”

“Yes but _what are you doing,”_

“Just you know, feeding the gossip mill, keeping the ship going,”

“This is embarrassing, Rose, please stop.” She didn’t want Ben to think she was desperate but Poe wouldn’t let her shut down the dating rumours.

She’d like to really, now that she’s thought more about it. She _really_ would like to date him but she’s scared that he’d be doing it because of the PR and not because he liked her. Phasma herself had said she’d arranged publicity dates for him before.

She couldn’t bear it if it turned out it was all fake too.

“Don’t worry about it. If Ben had a problem with it he’d be the first to cuss Armie out,” It didn’t make her feel any better, “And I’ve known Ben for a while now too and I like to think I know how he’d react to my fangirling over the two of you.”

Rey groaned.

“He’s pretty chill once you get to know him. We didn’t get along at first.” Rose continued, “I remember when Armie first introduced him. He thought I was dating him because he’s his manager. Armie did too but now look at us,” She laughed.

“What did you do?”

“I shouted at the both of them and left.”

“What?”

“I mean, if he thinks so lowly of my love, he’s not worth my time.”

“I bet you made him grovel,”

“Oh yeah,” Rose laughed again, “Ben too. Don’t worry, Rey Rey. It’s going to be fine; hey, are you free today?”

“I have another meeting with Amilyn and Poe later,”

“Aw, I was wondering if you can go gift shopping with me. How about Saturday? We can have brunch! I always wanted to have brunch.”

Rey did too. She never had brunch before, “Sure, Saturday sounds good.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up!” Rose ended the call.

Rey sighed and saved the photo.


	30. Hijack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The previous bit's pretty much a filler and a bit more background.
> 
> -X

Ben made a YouTube account so he could watch her livestream. He didn’t ask Phasma for help this time.

As always she was very cheerful, answering questions as honestly as she could.

 _“Am I dating Ben Solo?”_ The speakers on his laptop didn’t do justice to her voice now that he’s heard her up close and personal, _“Well, no.”_ He frowned and waited, _“Would I_ want _to? Um, I don’t know. I’d like to be friends, that’s for sure.”_

He could do that, once he’s gotten the courage to actually call her.

 _“We’ve only met twice,”_ She laughed and a shiver ran down his spine; he’s supposed to be used to it by now, _“He’s very nice and very large.”_ She laughed again and he could see even through his screen the flush that rose prettily to her cheeks, _“Not that. But um, I think it would be nice to, to be friends. I didn’t expect that I’d meet him, in my lifetime.”_

He wondered if he wanted to post a question. Would people figure out it was him?

He typed it in and pressed send.

 _“If he asks me out on a date, would I accept?”_ She didn’t answer immediately and he grew a little nervous. The chat filled up with people urging her to accept if it did happen, _“Maybe? I mean, he knows I like him, everyone does,”_ She laughed a little, looking slightly embarrassed. The cat-eared headphones weren’t centred on her head and he found it adorable, _“I just…worry a little. I didn’t expect that my last livestream would go viral and he’d notice me.”_

Comments of ‘ _notice me, senpai’_ appeared and she laughed.

Ben wondered what that meant.

She did a short recap for the new viewers before continuing, _“The Great Jacket Incident,”_ She laughed again; he loved hearing her laugh, _“I grew up in the desert so I’m more used to the biting heat of the sun. Now I know the nights are cold there but I didn’t make it a habit to go out at night.”_ He listened intently as she explained a little of her childhood, _“I didn’t sleep much the night before since I was so excited for the launch, which again, thank you all so much for making it so successful. And we had milkshakes in Andor’s;_ great _pizza by the way! And I sneezed which is a little embarrassing,”_ This time her laugh was airy, almost sheepish, _“I mean who would want to do that in front of the guy they like, right?”_

Ben’s heart started pounding a little quicker; how many times had she admitted now that she liked him? She was being so brave putting it out there on the internet and all he did so far was follow her social media accounts.

What a fucking loser.

“ _How did you react when he started following you on social media? Well, surprised to say the least. I may have screamed a little, I’m not sure, we’re going to have to ask my friends that. They’re the ones who first noticed.”_ She said, _“I was a little busy with work that day and it was exhausting. Poe was like a drill sergeant the whole time.”_

Someone asked her about marriage and kids and Ben sat up straighter, _“Kids?”_ She flushed again, _“Well, I’m not married yet,”_ Comments on her choice of word, asking if she had intentions of getting married someday, _“Of course I do. I_ do _want my own family someday. As for kids? I’m thinking at least two. I know what it’s like to be alone and I think it would’ve been nice if I had a sibling or three,”_

He could relate. His chest ached a little, imagining little Rey playing all by herself. He wanted a sibling too, when he was a child. A twin like his uncle Luke and his mom.

 _“Is he really Daddy?”_ Ben almost spat his hot chocolate on his screen. He’d stumbled upon the recipe on her Instagram account and he’d printed it out to keep in Padmé’s recipe box, _“Um, I’m not sure how to answer that,”_ She laughed a little and he could see her squirm, _“Maybe I shouldn’t. I mean, RosiePosie had been the one to declare that so maybe we should ask her,”_

_He looks like he could take care of you, baby girl!_

Someone whose name had a bunch of numbers commented and he snorted, of course he would.

She snorted back a laugh and he looked back to her face, _“Please ignore that,”_ She said, _“That’s just my friend teasing me,”_

Friend? He vaguely remembered Poe’s boyfriend calling her that. At the time he didn’t think much of it.

The comments all agreed that yes, it seemed like he _could_ take care of her.

He added his own agreement. Then he asked, _“What would you do if Ben Solo was watching this livestream?”_

She read his question and bit her bottom lip, _“I…did not think of that.”_ She laughed a little _, “I mean, embarrassed, probably, I’ve never… I mean we didn’t really talk much. And Ireally think he’s a very busy person so he wouldn’t really have time to watch my livestream. At least, not at this exact moment.”_

Ben scowled and grabbed his phone. He hesitated only for a second before he pressed the call button.

She jumped slightly when her phone rang next to her computer, _“Oh, sorry about that,”_ She laughed a little, _“I forgot to mute my phone.”_

 _“Who is it?”_ He sent out the question.

 _“Um, I’m not sure,”_ She bit her lip, _“I’m not really in the habit of answering unknown callers,”_

More comments ran up the side of his screen as he watched, asking her to answer, that she’ll be okay since she was on a livestream and they would know if something happened to her.

She bit her lip before sliding the headphones off, leaving it around her neck. She answered, “Hello?” The livestream was about a millisecond late.

“Hello, Rey,” He said softly.

He watched as he heard her suck in a breath and flush onscreen. She almost dropped her phone as she scrambled to reach for her computer, to end the livestream?

“Don’t,” Ben said and she paused, “Don’t end it.”

Questions of who is was flooded the chat-box and she hesitated.

“Go on,” He told her, chuckling, “You can tell them.”

“Ben,” She breathed. Her voice was so soft it barely got picked up by her microphone. But they heard and the comments just exploded. His computer lagged a little and she laughed, “Oh, my god, slow down, please.” She said, “My computer’s going to break.” 

The comments kept pouring in. They wanted proof that it _was_ him and she was already shaking her head.

“Put me on loudspeaker, sweet thing,” Her face turned an even brighter shade of red and speculations about what he could have said rose.

“No,” She hissed, still embarrassed, “How did you even get my number?”

The viewers kept increasing, “Hux gave it to me. Put me on loudspeaker,”

“No way,”

He pursed his lips and wondered just how far he could push her, “Baby girl,” He crooned and her eyes widened. Her whole face was a deep shade of red now, “Be a good girl and listen to Daddy,”

“Jesus Christ, Ben,” She looked away from the screen and put her phone down. She pressed the button, “You’re on loudspeaker,”

“I just wanted to let you know that I would love to be friends,” He said and the comments exploded again, “And yes, I _have_ been watching from the start.” She squirmed, “I _can_ see you, and I think you’re adorable.”

She leaned her elbows on what seemed to be the coffee table and covered her face, “This is not going the way I planned.”

“This is a livestream Rey, in my experience those things _never_ go according to plan.” She groaned again and he laughed, “To those of you who’ve just joined us tonight, this is Ben Solo, hijacking Rey Johnson’s livestream.”

“What are you doing?” She laughed a little.

“Nothing, I mean, this is all very one-sided and I figured it was a good time as any to call you. I mean, I’ve just been looking for an excuse to call, you know?”

_Holy shit, Solo, took you long enough, you bastard._

“Oh, shut up, Finn.”

“Well, that’s all the time that we have today!” Rey said abruptly, not looking at the camera, “That uh, didn’t go as planned and um, thank you for tuning in and Jesus, Ben don’t hijack my livestream, you can always text or call like a normal person.”

Ben laughed and the livestream ended.

“What are you doing?” She asked again, “This is doing nothing to control the situation,”

“And what situation would that be, sweet thing?” He wished he’d done FaceTime instead but he didn’t think she was ready for that just yet.

“The ship,” She hissed. He could imagine how red her face is, “You’re just feeding into it more,”

“Were we supposed to shut it down?”

“Were we not?”

“I don’t know, Rey, I didn’t really get a memo or anything.”

“You,” She groaned and he chewed the inside of his mouth, “Why are you doing this? What did I do to you?”

“Nothing.” _You’re perfect,_ “Like I said, I just wanted to have an excuse to call you.”

“But _why_?”

“Because,” Because what? Did he go too far after all? “Because I wanted to get to know you,” He finally said, softly.

She sucked in a breath.


	31. Shooketh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to post the entire story but also I haven't actually finished writing it so... see ya. Deuce.
> 
> -X

“…I wanted to get to know you,” Did he really? “Rey?”

“Y-yes, I’m here.” She chewed on her lip, “Sorry, I’m just…I’m just…so shookt.” She laughed, “I really didn’t expect that you’d be watching, much less, _calling._ ”

“Are you mad?”

“No! I mean, it was a little frustrating because I really don’t like things happening without me knowing and then you call all of a sudden and…” Her heart hasn’t even stopped pounding yet, “I just have a really hard time dealing with things being thrown at me so suddenly and…I’m rambling, aren’t I? Sorry.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you like that.” He said, “But I mean it. I really do want to be friends. So can we? Be friends, I mean.” She bit her lip, there it was, a tiny crack in his armour, “Rey?”

“I’d like that,” She finally said and he breathed a sigh of relief. Was he as nervous as she was after all? Was his confidence and bravado and charm all an act to hide who he really is? “Are you sure? I mean, I don’t really have much to offer and you’re already popular,”

“I don’t want to be friends because of the popularity,” He said, “I just thought it’d be nice to be friends and since you’re already good friends with Hux and Rose…I feel kind of left out and got a little jealous.”

Was she intruding on their friendship? The blood drained from her face, “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude or anything,”

“What?” He sounded so genuinely confused and she explained that she didn’t want to intrude on his and Hux and Rose’s friendship especially since they’ve all known each other for years.

Friends were important.

He laughed and she shivered at the deep timbre, “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I—,” He took a deep breath and sighed, “I got jealous because you’re friends with them but not me,” He said softly.

Rey sucked in a breath, “Oh.” He chuckled.

“That’s it? Oh? I like you, Rey, so I would really like to get to know you better.”

She didn’t know what to say. What did he mean he liked her? Did he like her as in, _I-want-to-date-you_ or, _I-like-you-so-I-want-be-friends-with-you_?

“I don’t know how to react,” She decided to be honest, it always worked for her before so why not now? “I mean, you _know_ I have this huge crush on you and…” She bit her lip, could they be friends? “And I mean _huge_.”

He chuckled again, “I know,” He said, “I mean, you going mute the first time we bumped into each other kind of told me that.” She could hear him smiling, almost see his ridiculously deep dimple in her mind’s eye.

“I’m not sure how we can be friends?”

“Scared you’re going to fall in love with me?”

“Yes.”

He paused and she wondered if she was _too_ honest.

“Oh, okay. Um, _wow_. I didn’t expect you to admit it that easily.” He sounded stunned and she couldn’t help but grin.

“I mean, I don’t see why I have to lie about that.” She chewed on her lower lip, “You’re a very dangerous man, Ben Solo.”

“Hm,” He hummed and she shivered again, “Only to you, sweet thing.” Was he actually flirting with her? She kept chewing her bottom lip. Should she flirt back?

Yes, yes she should, “I thought it was _baby_ ,”

He paused and laughed, sounding a little breathless, “You saucy little minx,”

“Got that from Hux, did you?”

He laughed again, this time harder, “Christ Rey, you,” He laughed, “I don’t even know how to describe you.”

“Rey.”

“Sure, sure, let’s go with that.” His laughter quieted a little, “There’s no one quite like you,”

She wanted to scream. Ben Solo was on the phone with her, _flirting and telling her that there’s nobody like her._ She heard him curse silently, “You okay?”

He sighed, “Phasma’s calling.”

“Oh, shit?” Was it a good thing or a bad thing? She _is_ his PR manager and Rey had no idea if Ben’s earlier stunt was good or bad for him.

“Exactly.”

“I guess you have to go?”

“Yeah,” He sighed again, “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, sure!” She bit her lip, “See you around.”

“I’ll text you,”

“Um, okay,”

“Bye,”

“Bye,” There was an awkward silence and she giggled, “I think maybe we should end the call?”

He chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Goodbye, Rey.”

“Bye, Ben.”

This time he hung up and she stared at her phone.

Ben Solo called her in the middle of her livestream.

She squealed.


	32. Big Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is titled based on what Y does not have.
> 
> JK it's a song by AC/DC. 
> 
> -X
> 
> Still don't have 'em.
> 
> -Y

She was scared she’d fall in love with him. That was the only thought running in his head as Phasma alternated between screaming at him and congratulating him because that three minute cameo was enough to shoot him back up the trending charts.

“Benjamin Organa Solo, are you listening to me?” He winced at Phasma’s use of his full name.

“Not really,” He said honestly and she sighed.

“If you’re going to do a stunt like this, you _tell me_. Christ, Solo, what if you said something you’ll regret? Are you drunk? You’re not drunk are you?”

“Of course not. I don’t drunk dial people,”

“Uh, huh, right. Need I remind you of that time you and Hux called me at two in the fucking morning on a weeknight to serenade me with, what was it, ah yes, _Big Balls.”_

Ben scowled even as his face grew heated, “Jesus, Phas. That was how many years ago,”

“I’m just saying, you _need_ to warn me about these things so I am prepared for the possible backlash.”

“It was just a spur of the moment thing,” Ben sighed.

“You really like this girl, don’t you,” He didn’t answer and she sighed, “Fine, fine. Don’t warn me, I’ll do my best to keep things positive for both of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Hm? What was that? I didn’t quite hear that, was Ben Solo actually _thanking_ me?”

“Oh, fuck off, Phas.”

She cackled and ended the call.

The next to call him was Hux.

“Oh. My. _God_. Is that Ben?” Rose screamed from the other end and he winced.

“Yes, darling, it’s Ben, obviously.” Hux said drily, “Who else would I call at this hour?”

“Am I on loudspeaker?” He scowled.

“Well, you didn’t seem to mind when _Rey_ did it.” Hux pointed out, “What the hell was _that_ , Ben?”

“You know,” He shrugged, “Just a friendly chat.”

Rose laughed, “Friendly, right, Ben and the word friendly don’t exactly mix.”

“She’s right.” Hux said, “You never really made it a point to be friends with anyone.”

“Somebody’s in love,” Rose said in a sing-song voice, “Have you asked her out yet?”

“No. We’re going to be friends,” Ben frowned, did that mean he’s in the friend-zone? Did _he_ do that or did she? “First?”

“You blundering oaf,” Hux sighed, “Is that Kylo charm only reserved for when you’re in costume?” Ben’s scowl deepened, “Is it really just method acting? You bloody _winked_ at this girl and stunned her for chrissakes and now you can’t even get her on a date?”

“He did what?” Rose shrieked, “You didn’t tell me that!”

Ben groaned and covered his face with his free hand, “You know how I get when I’m on set.”

“Yeah, you live your character but come on,” He could almost see Hux rolling his eyes, “You’re so hopeless.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do? She said she wanted to be friends first.”

“Wait, hold up, didn’t you say he said he didn’t want to date fans?”

Ben’s mouth thinned and blood rushed up to his cheeks. Shit.

“Oh yeah, he _did_ say that.”

“Fuck off, dickwad.” Ben growled and ended the call at Rose’s laugh.

Everybody was laughing at him today. What the fuck did he do?


	33. Tomato Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am running out of title ideas. Send help.
> 
> -X

As promised Rose picked her up Saturday morning for brunch. Rey had forgone her usual sweater and leggings for a heavier green and baby pink winter coat, jeans and a large knitted scarf.

“You look cute,” Rose said, grinning, “Let’s go, I know this really place with really good tomato soup,”

Rey had no idea what Christmas shopping entails so she let Rose take the lead. She chattered as she drove the bright orange vintage mustang.

“I like your car,” Rey said, admiring the sleek leather interior.

“Yeah? I rebuilt her myself. I call her Liberty.”

“She’s gorgeous, how come you’ve never used her before?”

“Oh, Armie insists on driving me or having me driven somewhere,” She rolled her eyes, “He’s a little paranoid. He doesn’t want people to find out I’m connected to him and get kidnapped,”

“Has that happened before?”

“Almost, there was this girl back when Ben was just starting out. She was convinced that I was his girlfriend since I hung out with them a lot.” She shrugged, “Anyway we cleared that up quickly but Ben’s image took a bit of a hit. Gwen wasn’t really happy with that.”

“What happened?”

“You know those pictures in the bars and Ben beating people up?” Rey nodded, “He was just trying to help Armie who noticed somebody spike my drink but the paps made it look like he was a violent drunk. Even Gwen couldn’t fix it,” She glanced at Rey briefly, “Until now, that is.”

They arrived at a cute street-side cafe with outdoor seating and Rose somehow found them a parking space nearby. That in itself was a miracle seeing as it was a Saturday in Hollywood. Tourists were everywhere and she ducked a little when people did double-takes and eyed her, trying to place who she was.

She wondered if she’ll get as famous as Ben, that people would recognise her instantly. How _did_ he keep himself under the radar when going out and about? Wearing hoods obviously didn’t really help much.

They sat near a window and ordered their food; a big bowl of soup for her and a grilled cheese sandwich for Rose.

“So,” Rose smiled wryly, “What happened after you livestream ended?” She blinked innocently and Rey flushed.

“Nothing really,” She squeaked, “We just talked a little,”

“And what did you talk about?”

“Just…that he wanted to get to know me better? So I guess we’ll probably hang out sometime?” She wasn’t really sure. Ben had texted her as promised but he didn’t ask her to hang out or anything yet.

“That’s so unlike him, you know,” Rose snickered and thanked the server when she delivered their drinks, “And of course you guys literally broke the internet.”

“He did, not me,” She laughed, “I really didn’t expect that.”

“Have you read the tweets recently? And BuzzFeed did another article on you and TMZ’s saying you two are secretly dating.” Rose paused, “You’re not, right? If you are you’d tell me?”

Rey laughed, “Of course. And I’m pretty sure I don’t really have to since Hux would tell you,”

Rose pursed her lips, “Oh pooh. I want to know it from you first,”

“Alright, I promise I’ll tell you in the unlikely event that it happens.”

“Why is it unlikely? I mean, he’s going out of his way to pop in your solar system,”

Rey laughed again, “I really think he just wants to be friends,”

Rose looked like she didn’t believe her one bit. To be honest she wasn’t sure if she believed herself either. Their food arrived and the continued to chat about her increase in followers and popularity.

“Seriously, we need to have a group chat now that Ben has Facebook. Then it’d be easier to send you all those fan art,” Rey flushed crimson, “I mean those are hawt and did you know there’s fan fiction now?”

Rey groaned and looked down at her soup, “I don’t want to know, really. It’s like watching myself perform and I just…cringe.”

“You and Ben are so alike,” Rose pouted, “Did you know he _never_ watched any of his films? Where’s the fun in watching your friend’s film if said friend isn’t there to make fun of? Oh, you know what I want to see?”

“What?”

“You and Ben playing Hades and Persephone,”

Rey rolled her eyes, “Halloween’s over,”

“Yeah, but you two totally have the aesthetic, seriously. All you have to do is stand next to each other and be your usual selves,” Rose suddenly grinned and Rey squirmed uneasily, “I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks so,” She started typing on her phone and almost instantly Rey’s notification alerted her that she was mentioned in a tweet.

She groaned, “Rose, what did you do?”

“I’m asking your fans if they think so too,” She grinned hugely. Rey’s phone buzzed in rapid succession and she eyed it a little apprehensively, “Oh, they do,”

Rey groaned again.


	34. Mom. Stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help.
> 
> Last one for tonight/today; chapter titles will get shittier (or funnier depending on your humour) as time passes.
> 
> Y has given up. Rations are almost finished. Might need to eat him. 
> 
> -X

Ben picked her up this time.

Leia still lived in the same Beverly Hills house he’d spent a good part of his high school years in. She was already waiting by the porch and beamed when she saw his pickup drive up her driveway.

As usual she was wearing Han’s jacket. His chest ached when he saw. He got down and she gave him a hug and motioned for him to bend down so she could give him a kiss on the cheek. He obliged her.

“You look sketchy with that thing on,” She said and he snorted a laugh at her language. Sometimes he wondered if she was more updated with slangs than he was, “And do you really think a neck warmer and hood would hide who you are?”

“Worth a shot,” He grumbled, his voice a little muffled by the neck warmer, and opened the passenger door for her. She beamed again when he helped her in, “Where do you want to go?”

She told him and he drove her like any good son would. She didn’t seem bothered by the silence.

“How have you been?” She asked when he’d found a parking spot, “I hear you’ve gotten more attention for yourself.”

“You heard or were you watching?” He shut off the engine and got out to open the door for her and help her out.

She chuckled, “I was watching. Rey’s a lovely girl,” He could see her breath in the air but she didn’t seem cold. They walked into the restaurant and sat at a corner table. He let her order for him, “She said she was adopted,”

“Yes, Rose mentioned.”

“Armitage’s girlfriend. I met her during the launch. She’s very lovely too. They’ve been good friends to you, haven’t they?”

“Yeah. Yeah, they have,” He tapped his fingers on the table and forced himself to continue, “Hux met Rose when we were in college. She’s a mechanic. Dad would’ve liked her.”

“I didn’t really get to talk to her much. I just popped by to say ‘hi’ and ask how she was doing,” She chuckled, “She was a mechanic too.”

“Who?”

“Rey,” Her eyes twinkled a little and he wondered what the fuck his mother was planning now, “I heard she was a mechanic before she started singing on YouTube.”

“Oh.” Their food arrived and they started eating, “I didn’t really talk to her much either.” He didn’t really know a lot about her now that he thought about it. True they texted a lot over the course of the week but it was mostly about how their day went. He frowned, he really didn’t know much about her.

“Is this insecurity I see?” She arched a regal brow, “You’re my son, you have nothing to be insecure about.”

“It’s because I am that I’m fucked up,” He muttered and she laughed.

“You’re sounding more and more like your father,” She said with a sigh, “I bet you would’ve done well as a musician,”

He shrugged.

“Do you still sing?”

“Sometimes.” He said, “In the shower when no one’s looking,”

“Why? You’re a wonderful singer, dear.”

“You’re just biased,”

“I’m serious,” She laughed again, “I’m speaking as a producer, not as a mother. Plus, your grandfather was a great classical musician too,”

“Yeah, if he didn’t commit suicide,” He mumbled, “Grandma never really recovered from that.”

Leia sighed then, “Us Skywalkers have always loved too deeply. We never really recover when we lose our other half.” She smiled sadly, “Your father was it for me and when he left I…” She sighed again, “I guess I just drifted.”

Would he be like that too?

“But we’re strong,” She said, smiling again, “We move forward until the day we can be whole again.”

Ben sighed, “Well, we’re all moving forward, right?”

She smiled toothily, “Yes, I’d like to think so. And I’d like to be able to meet my grandchildren too,”

He snorted, almost spitting out his drink. Then, he coughed, because the soda went up the wrong pipe, “Jesus Christ, mom.”

“Are you okay, dear?” She handed him a few tissues and he blew his nose, “I mean, Rey did touch on the topic of family and children in her livestream,”

“We’re not dating!”

“Not yet, you’re not. Speaking of, when _are_ you going to make your move?” She frowned, “You’re slower than your father was.”

“We _just_ met.”

“I’m not getting any younger. I _do_ want to have a grandchild or two to spoil before I get too old and die.”

“Jesus,” He ran his fingers through his hair, “Don’t talk about dying like that. You’reonly fifty-six,”

She shrugged.

Was _everyone_ trying to get him to get with Rey now?

He groaned.


	35. Puzzle Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add yesterday; here's the outfit inspo for our boy: https://64.media.tumblr.com/cdff5914cc1d7507f1726ed378fd3b45/21cd1482dcf177f4-dd/s540x810/0cffb6a278ce35a31d5b94ea4fe3eb35097c3d58.png
> 
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EjGts_GUcAE54kv.jpg
> 
> (so sorry I don't know how to add pictures :( but please take a moment to look at it because it is very fine)
> 
> -X

Christmas shopping was pretty enjoyable. Rose dragged her from one shop to another, asking her what Finn and Poe would like. She in turn got to ask what Hux and Ben might like.

Rose had given her a look and a smug smile and said Ben would like anything from her. She flushed bright red and changed the subject but she _did_ get some gift shopping done too. It was still strange for her to actually have money to spare. A few years ago she’d never have thought she’d be able to afford this gorgeous Tiffany blue 10-piece tea set for Finn. It would look perfect in the Santa Monica home Poe was eyeing.

“Is that who I think it is?” Rose grabbed her arm and she looked at where she was pointing.

Rey frowned. It couldn’t be, could it? Half of his face was covered by his neck warmer and the hood over his head covered the other half but the sheer _massiveness_ of the guy was suspicious.

He leaned against the wall outside the restrooms, multiple paper bags by his booted feet. He had his phone out and she could barely make out his features.

“I think it is!” Rose squealed and took a deep breath. She shouted before Rey could stop her, “Ben!”

The man froze and looked up; she’d know those eyes anywhere. He pulled down the warmer from his face and gave them a half-smile. A dimple popped out and Rey flushed.

“Rey,” He purred and she shivered.

“And Rose! Hi!” Rose said, laughing, “Fancy seeing you here.”

Ben arched a brow at Rose, “Rose.” He said blandly.

“You don’t look very happy to see me,” Rose pouted, “I brought Rey here so you should be thankful,”

“Wait, did you know he was going to be here?” Rey asked her and Rose grinned.

“Of course not, it was a total coincidence. I’m just saying,” She said and turned to Ben, “So what _are_ you doing here?”

He gestured at the bags, “Shopping.”

“That’s a lot of shopping,” Rey said, wondering who it was for. He was an actor, he’s bound to have a lot of people to give stuff to, right?

“I usually do my shopping online,” He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, “But my…mom likes to shop physically.” He seemed to cringe when he said _mom_ and she wondered why. He never really mentioned his parents and neither did Hux.

“You know you and Armie never mentioned your parents before. I thought they’re dead,” Rose said bluntly and Rey winced.

Ben winced as well, “My dad died a long time ago,” He said, “And my mom and I didn’t really talk until recently.”

Rey couldn’t really comment. She’s only ever had a mum and she’d been her best friend.

“Ben, who are you talking to?” Rose’s mouth opened in an almost perfect ‘O’, “Oh, hello!”

Rey blinked, “ _Leia_?”

Leia smiled, “Why hello, dear, what a coincidence! Are you shopping too?” She eyed the one bag Rey was holding.

“Yes,” Rey squeaked and looked accusingly at Ben.

He shrugged, brows furrowing, _“What?”_ He mouthed.

“And Rose, too! Hello, dear, how’s Armitage?” Leia smiled at Rose’s still-stunned expression.

“You’re Rey’s boss,” Rose said and Leia’s smile turned puzzled.

Rey blinked again, confused. Leia Organa was Ben Solo’s mum. Leia, whose husband Han died a long time ago. She blinked again. Han _Solo._ Her husband was Han Solo _from Han and the Chewies, and Ben is Ben_ _Solo_. All of a sudden things fell into place. Everything made so much sense now, Luke’s cryptic comments, Leia’s amusement at her fascination with Han and the Chewies, even Hux and Poe because _they knew_ all along. Why didn’t she realise earlier?

She turned to Ben sharply, “Your dad’s Han the Space Pirate!” She shrieked and he jerked back a little, eyes wide. She gasped and covered her mouth, almost dropping her bag in the process, “Oh my gosh, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that so loudly,”

She could feel Leia and Rose eyeing her and she flushed, embarrassed. Her hand was still over her mouth.

“Um,” He cleared his throat, “Yes?”

“Oh, my.” Leia cleared her throat too, “I thought you figured it out when you found out Han was my husband,”

Rey turned to her then, dropped her hand and shook her head, “I really had no idea,”

Ben snorted and her head whipped around so fast back to face him it was a wonder why she didn’t get whiplash.

The laugh he’d been trying so hard to contain burst free and she flushed again.

 _“Aiya,”_ She heard Rose mutter but she was too fascinated by Ben’s dimples and uneven teeth, “Yeah, Armie said she did that too the first time they met,”

“I have to say, I haven’t quite seen my son laugh like that in a long time,”

Rey sucked in a breath when he met her eyes. His eyes were _twinkling_ and his dimples kept flashing at her.

Ben Solo should be _illegal_.

Or he should come with a warning label: _Warning, might cause dizziness, palpitations and fainting._

“Rey?” His grin grew bigger, “Are you okay?”

She blinked and looked away, shaking her head slightly, “I’m fine,” She chirped.

“Why don’t you two come with us for coffee?” Leia interjected, “Ben promised we’d have some but as you can see, it’s getting late in the afternoon and we have yet to have any.” She gave Ben a pointed look and he scratched the back of his head again.

“We would’ve gotten if you didn’t decide to go into every goddamn store,” He said with a sigh. He picked up the bags and raised his hand, “Gimme your bags,” He said and Rey looked down at the one she was holding.

“Ooo, what a gentleman,” Rose teased and handed him her bags easily.

“Um, it’s alright, it’s not that heavy,” Rey mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

“It’s fine, give it to me.” She shook her head and he sighed, “Rey, give it to D-me.”

She frowned at him and he arched a brow.

She handed it to him quietly, hesitating, “Good girl,” He rumbled and she shivered. Jesus, his _voice_.

“I feel like I just saw something I shouldn’t,” Rose said and Rey flushed again.


	36. A Fountain of Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two tonight sorry! 
> 
> Also Y pointed out that I have this strange habit of leaving things at a sigh, a groan, a laugh, or any action showing some sort of emotion. Is that weird? 
> 
> -X

He’d almost said Daddy.

In front of his _mother_.

Christ.

He carried all the bags and Leia had linked her arm around Rey’s, walking ahead of him.

“So…,” Rose slowed to walk next to him, “Rey’s boss is your mom.”

“Yes.” He said simply.

“And you never thought to mention this?”

“Nope.”

“And Armie didn’t mention it either.”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“I told you, we haven’t spoken in a long time.”

Rose pursed her lips, “But now you do,”

“Yes.”

“Don’t have a lot to say, do you?” She was tapping away on her phone again. He hoped she wasn’t tweeting; Hux had given her rules on what to tweet, didn’t he?

“No, I don’t.” He said, “I don’t like talking about it.”

“Obviously,” She rolled her eyes, “We’ve known each other for years and none of you ever mentioned it.”

“Would it have made a difference?” He looked straight ahead, wondering what his mother was telling Rey to make her giggle so much.

He frowned. Was he jealous of his own mother now?

“Well no, not really. She’d still like you,” Rose nattered away, oblivious to Ben only half listening to her.

They neared the coffee shop and Leia waved him away, “I’ll buy,” She said, “You go wait outside,” Ben scowled. She turned to Rey, “Why don’t you wait with him, dear?”

Rey glanced at him and flushed. Leia pushed her towards him gently and she walked hesitantly towards him.

Rose skipped to Leia’s side and grinned, “Don’t worry, I know both their orders.” She said and escorted Leia into the packed coffee shop.

There was fountain and a bench right outside and he placed the bags on the ground before sitting. Rey remained standing and he arched a brow, “Aren’t you going to sit?” She jumped a little and flushed. She sat next to him stiffly, “Why are you so nervous, sweet thing, I thought we agreed to be friends?”

“We’ve only met in person twice,” She said, “And agreed to be friends last week.” He nodded and waited for her to continue, “I’m just trying to wrap my head around it, is all.” Then she turned to face him and he was struck by how wide and _innocent_ her eyes were, “Leia’s your mum.”

“Yes,” He said patiently.

“You said you didn’t talk to her for a long time,” He nodded, “You were that guy at the Cantina.” His brow shot up, “You said it was your mum’s favourite song.”

“Yes,” He admitted, “And I wouldn’t have had the courage to call her if you didn’t tell me to move forward.”

She looked away and flushed, “I always had a bad habit of giving people random advice,” She laughed a little, “It doesn’t always go well.”

He shrugged.

“Why weren’t you and Leia…,” She paused and bit her lip, “Why weren’t you speaking, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Didn’t Rose just ask him the same thing?

So why was he so comfortable telling Rey? “I hated them.” He said simply. She looked at him curiously and he sighed, “I grew up with my grandmother in Indiana and they moved me to LA when I was thirteen. It was the first time I spent longer than a week with them so it took a lot of getting used to.”

She kept looking at him expectantly so he kept talking, “Dad was always the one trying to get us to make peace with each other. I got into a lot of fights,” He chuckled, “They left me at home a lot so I guess I was lashing out,” He shrugged and stared at the coffee shop door, “They sent me to my uncle’s farm for a bit. They thought farm work would help me chill,”

“You mean Luke?” He grimaced when he heard his name, “We had lunch with him recently,”

“Yeah, I saw.” He chuckled, stealing a glance, “I follow you on Instagram, remember?” She flushed prettily and he grinned. She turned even pinker in the cheeks; she must really like his dimples. Then he remembered who they were talking about and frowned,“It didn’t really work out either. We had a huge fight and I went back home. Mom was really disappointed.”

“She doesn’t seem disappointed now,” She touched his arm like she did in the bar and he wanted so badly to cover it with his.

“Both of them were when I didn’t go to Julliard. I graduated with a business course, actually.”

“Okay, that I read,” She said sheepishly, “I kind of looked you up a lot,”

He flashed another grin, “That’s okay, I looked you up too.”

She blushed again, “So—so, what happened?” She stuttered a little and he gave up trying not to touch her. He took her hand and she glanced down, surprise evident in her face. She was so easy to read.

But she didn’t pull away so he kept her tiny hand in his, “Dad collapsed. I’m sure you’d have heard about it.” She nodded, “He had stage four cancer and refused treatment.” She gasped and squeezed his arm. In turn, he squeezed her hand.

“I’m so sorry,” She said softly and he shrugged.

“I hated them.” He said again, “They didn’t want me to see. He didn’t even last a year.” His jaw tightened and his chest ached again as it always did when he thought about his parents, “I joined the Marines after his funeral and cut all contact with mom. The rest you probably know,” He gave her a tight smile and blinked when she tried to wipe her eyes discreetly.

Was she actually _crying_?

“Jesus, Rey,” He let go of her hand to cup her face with both of his. She turned bright red; he could feel the heat on her cheeks, “Why are you crying?” He laughed softly, “Seriously,”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really sentimental,” She sniffled and laughed lightly, “I’m a sap for family stories.”

“I mean, my story isn’t really that strange, is it?” He dropped his hands and gave her a shy smile.

“What’s happening? You two seem like you’re enjoying yourselves,” Rose said and Ben looked up. He didn’t realise Rose and his mom had come out of the coffee shop carrying two drinks each.

He grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck, “We were just talking,” He said and thanked Leia for the cold brew.

“Here you go, Rey Rey, the usual.” Rose handed Rey her hot drink and Ben wondered what it was, “Hey, are you _crying_?” She shot a glare to Ben, “What did you do?”

Ben scowled, “I didn’t do anything!”

“No, Rose, he didn’t do anything,” Rey said, laughing, “I just got wind in my eyes, is all. It’s getting really cold,”

Rose rolled her eyes, “You and your baby skin,”

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled; he really wanted to call her that. Would she freak out if he did? She didn’t seem to mind during their call.

“I’m baby,” Rey said and Ben choked, almost spitting out his coffee. He seemed to do that a lot with her.

“Jesus, Ben, are you okay?” Rose’s eyes twinkled and he knew she knew he wasn’t okay.

Rey looked at him too, worriedly and he waved off the concern, “Just uh, surprised, I guess.”

“I believe it’s a meme,” Leia whispered and he scowled at her.

“A what?” He whispered back.

“It’s an internet thing, dear.” She patted his shoulder, as though telling him without words that it’s okay to be this technologically ignorant.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.


	37. Belonging

Rey had no idea how Christmas shopping with Rose became dinner with Ben and Leia. Rose had made some sort of excuse about Hux having diarrhoea and skipped out, leaving her with Ben and his mother, her boss.

“So dear,” Leia said, “Did you find gifts for your friends?”

“Um, only Finn,” Rey said, smiling shyly, “I got him a tea set.”

“That sounds lovely, I’d like to meet him sometime,” Leia said, “He seems like a good friend and I’ve never seen Poe so happy,”

“Finn’s really happy too!” Rey grinned.

“Look, I know you’re going to Armitage’s dinner on the 24th, but I’d like to ask if you’d be free on the 26th? I haven’t hosted a party in so long and I’ve only recently decided to hold one again. Would you come?”

Rey stared at Leia’s hopeful expression, “Of course, I’d love that!” Leia grinned.

“And of course Ben would be there too,” She added and Ben arched a brow.

“I am?” His voice rumbled as he spoke and Rey suppressed a shiver.

“Of course you are,” Leia said in a tone that brooked no argument. Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

He’d taken off his large hooded jacket and Rey itched to run her fingers on the heavy cable-knit sweater he had on. She loved sweaters and she finds that she loved sweaters _on_ him.

He glanced at her and arched a brow. She flushed and looked away.

They were seated in a circular table by the wall in some fancy restaurant in Santa Monica. Of course Leia had ordered for them.

She didn’t belong here, not in a restaurant with a one-hundred-fifteen-dollar pasta and a twenty-dollar cocktail, but Ben and Leia seemed at ease, like this was a normal occurrence.

For all she knew it was.

She tried not to grimace.

Leia asked her a question and she smiled, hoping the older lady didn’t notice her unease.

“You really didn’t have to bring me along.” She said uncomfortably, “I could’ve taken an Uber home,” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, dear.” Leia waved her hand, “We’re like family now,”

Family.

Leia reminded her of her mum. Family had always been important to her mum, not necessarily the one she was born with, but the family she made. She would’ve been friends with Leia, if she didn’t die so soon.

Leia’s phone buzzed and she glanced at it briefly before snickering, “Sorry,” She cleared her throat, “Why don’t you try the hamachi, dear?” She told Rey who smiled and accepted.

What else could she do?


	38. Mother Knows All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother knows best, listen to your mother. It's a scary world out there. Mother knows best.
> 
> Sorry for the late update Y and I were making fruitcake. In a bucket. 
> 
> -X

Leia insisted on sitting at the backseat since he would be dropping her off first. Ben didn’t argue. He’d learned how to pick his fights with her and this was not one of them.

“Oh, but would you like to come in for coffee, both of you?” Leia asked in that sweet, don’t-argue-with-me voice. She blinked expectantly, smiling and Ben sighed.

“Rey?” She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, “Are you okay to go in for coffee?” She squeaked and he tried not to laugh, “Come on, then.”

He carried his mother’s bags and waited patiently for her to open the front door.

A large dog barked and Rey jumped.

“ _Chewie_ ,” Leia said sharply, “Be nice.”

Rey stared at the massive dog and took a step back. He padded towards Ben, sniffing and giving an approving ‘woof’ before turning to Rey.

She’d gone pale.

“He won’t bite,” Leia said with a grimace, “I’m sorry I didn’t think to mention him,”

“He’s so…big,” Rey said, “I have never seen a dog this big before.”

“He’s a Tibetan Mastiff,” Leia grabbed his collar. Even standing he reached her hip, “But he thinks he’s a pug,”

“You named him after uncle Chewie,” Ben said drily, “And what does he think about that?”

“He finds it funny, of course.” Leia said, “You can leave the bags wherever, dear.” Ben walked in the house he hasn’t been in in a decade and placed the bags on the floor in the living room.

Nothing had changed at all. The house looked like how it did when he left and he half expected Han to come walking in from the far-door leading to the garage. He looked at the framed photos on the wall, frowning at how he’d been sullen in almost all of them. Had he really been that big of a shit-head?

“We’re heading to the kitchen!” Leia called out. He didn’t answer; they’ll be fine without him for a few minutes.

Han’s numerous awards were lined up on the mantel alongside that one award he received for winning a talent show. Even his diploma was framed up nicely with his graduation photo.

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. Guilt gnawed at him. He should really be nicer to his mother.

He could hear Rey giggling in the kitchen. She already had her hands wrapped around a mug. He recognised the Sith Empire logo on it. Leia handed him Han’s old mug instead.

“I was just telling Rey about how you met Armitage,” Leia said, smiling brightly.

“When you said Hux has never punched anyone, I didn’t think you meant it literally his whole life,” Rey said, still giggling, “I can’t even imagine him trying to be honest with you,”

“Ben has always been a big boy,” Ben felt the heat rush to his cheeks. Rey snorted back a laugh, “Neither Han and I are very tall so we never did know where he got his height,”

“I knew it. I’m a changeling,” Ben said drily.

“Oh, I don’t know, dear. Changelings are notoriously sickly. Take your uncle Luke when we were younger.”

He grimaced when he heard his uncle’s name.

“Okay, I have to ask,” Rey was chewing on her lower lip and he wanted to smooth his thumb over it, “What is with the changeling thing? I heard you call Luke that too.”

“Oh,” Leia laughed airily, “Our mother, Ben’s grandmother, she always said we were changelings since we’ve always been a bit strange,”

“Just a bit?” He snorted and took a sip of his coffee.

“Okay, maybe quite a bit. My parents have always been more, ah, traditional. You wouldn’t believe the fit my father had when he found out I was seeing Han. Ben might’ve gotten his temper from him,”

Rey looked so comfortable in his childhood home and she listened to attentively to Leia as she regaled her with adventures from his childhood. Leia even told her about the Falcon and how Ben had almost wrecked her the first time he drove. She laughed. She’d gotten over her shock and fear of Chewie quick enough and the dog was sitting next to her, looking already halfway in love with her as she reached down a little to scratch his head.

He knew how that felt.

His ears felt warm and Leia gave him a knowing look.

There was no hiding anything from his mother.


	39. Gimme Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup it's the Baby Metal song. 3 today just because. Until tomorrow. 
> 
> -X

Rey didn’t expect to have an exclusive, inside look at Ben’s childhood but once Leia started there was no stopping her. She’d even showed her his high school photos and pointed out his ears.

Ben had scowled the whole time.

“I had fun,” Rey told him in the quiet of the pickup as he drove her home. She’d told him where she lived and inputted it in his GPS, “Your mother’s so different in the office,”

“My mother knows there’s a time and place for everything,” He grumbled, “My grandmother was a Southern Belle,”

“She sounds lovely though,” Her mum was alone the whole time she’d known her, “I think I’d have liked to have a grandmother.”

Ben didn’t say anything so she didn’t either.

It was a good twenty-minute drive from Beverly Hills to North Hollywood.

“You can open the radio or whatever,” He mumbled and she wondered if he was just as awkward as she was.

She cleared her throat and opened the radio. ‘She’s Got Balls’ started playing from the middle of the chorus and she jumped.

“I didn’t peg you for an AC/DC fan,” She said.

He shrugged, “I grew up listening to it.” He said, “What made you go into the genre you’re doing now?”

“I heard a song about chocolate.” She said and he glanced at her.

“Chocolate?”

“Yeah,” She laughed a little, “When I started I only did covers then I heard this song and I thought it was beautiful since metal has always been like this heavy, oppressive,angry male-dominated thing and then these girls come in all cute and singing about chocolate and I guess I fell in love with their style.”

He cleared his throat, “You can change it, if you like,” He said quickly, “If it’s not your style,”

“I don’t mind,” She said, “And it’s _your_ car.”

The car grew silent again and Rey shifted in her seat awkwardly. What was she supposed to say to him? She jumped when her phone rang. Ben glanced at her and lowered the volume of the radio.

“Hello?”

“Where are you?” It was Poe.

“I’m on my way home, why?” She glanced at Ben who arched a brow. She mouthed Poe’s name and he nodded.

“Yes, but _where_.” He demanded, “I’m serious,”

“What do you mean?” She frowned, “We’re somewhere near Beverly Hills,”

“And who’s we?” His voice turned wry, “It doesn’t _happen_ to be a really famous actor, does it?”

Rey flushed, “Why?”

“It is, isn’t it.”

She could hear Finn in the background, asking to talk to her.

“Holy shit, baby girl, I didn’t think you had it in you.” Finn said excitedly, “You better tell me everything when you get home. I thought I was your best friend?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re with Ben _frickin’_ Solo, Rey.” He said loudly. Judging by the way Ben’s lip twitched up, she knew he heard, “And you didn’t even think to text me? I had to find out _online_?”

“Oh no,” Rey groaned and waved her hand when Ben looked at her with concern, “What is it this time?”

“Nothing important right now,” Poe said quickly. She figured he’d wrestled the phone back from Finn, “Jesus, babe, don’t do that. You won’t get the phone back,” He groaned.

Heat rushed up to her cheeks, “Oh my God, Poe! You better not be doing what I think you’re doing!”

“Talk to you later, sunshine.” Poe said quickly, breathlessly, “I think my boyfriend’s in heat,”

She resisted the urge to shriek. She really didn’t want to know the details. Poe was her manager and Finn was like a brother to her. She loved the two of them but she really, really, didn’t need to know who topped who and when.

But Poe was a bit of an exhibitionist and loved to tease her.

Finn loved him so he let him be.

She didn’t really mind since they’re mostly tame but Poe had gotten it in his head to tease her specifically when he knew Ben Solo was around. _Why?_

“Rey?” He was looking back and forth between the road and her, “Are you alright, baby girl?”

She flushed, “I’m fine,” She squeaked. He seemed to realise what he said as soon as she did and flushed too.

“So-sorry about that,” He said, clearing his throat, “I, um, have no excuse, actually.”

“It’s okay,” She said, looking at her lap, “I don’t mind. I mean, Finn calls me that too,”

He grunted and there was silence again.

He drove and she kept her eyes on her lap.

“Do you…” He cleared his throat and she looked up, “Do you want to get a burger or something?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’ve seen how I eat right,” He flashed her a grin and his dimples popped. Rey had the strange urge to lean over and kiss him. She flushed and looked away, “You really think I’d survive on rabbit food?”

She snorted back a laugh, “There’s an In ’n’ Out on the way home,”

“Sounds good,” He flashed her another smile and drove them to a drive-thru, “What’re you having?”

“Animal style and a strawberry milkshake?”

“Gotcha,” He rolled down the window and ordered, “Two animal style burgers, two large strawberry milkshakes and a cheese fries, please.”

They waited at the window until their food was ready and he rolled down the window again.

The girl at the window froze half-way through her spiel. Ben gave her a smile and she flushed before reaching over to hand him the brown paper bag. He handed it to Rey so he could get the other bag with their drinks.

“Thanks,” He said, “Have a good evening,”

The girl squeaked out a ‘good evening’ and watched, still wide-eyed as they drove away.

“I understand how she feels,” Rey said with a small laugh.

Ben glanced at her and shook his head, “I’m just a regular guy, Rey.”

She loved hearing him say her name, “You’re Ben frickin’ Solo,” She said, trying to imitate Finn. He snorted back a laugh, “So, why _did_ you go into acting?”

He shrugged, “It kinda just fell into my lap. Hux told me to audition, I got the part.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” He flashed her another smile, “I wasn’t supposed to go in show business. What about you?”

“I like to sing.” She said softly, “Finn was the one who noticed first. I’d sing when I was fixing cars or repairing the toaster or something. He’s the one who got me to make a YouTube account.”

“You said you grew up in the desert,”

“Well, sort of?” She fidgeted with the paper bag, “I mean, I was adopted,”She could feel him looking at her, “Mum got me out of the system when I was ten? Nobody really wanted to adopt a pre-teen and I was already six when they brought me over from the UK.”

“Jesus,”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it. My mum was a lovely person,” She grimaced, “I don’t really talk about…being adopted. People kind of, I don’t know, feel bad? I mean, _I_ don’t feel bad about it.”

Still, she fidgeted. Things always grew awkward whenever the topic came up so she’d learned not to talk about it. She certainly didn’t want things to get awkward with Ben.

He took her hand and squeezed. She looked up, blushing.

“I don’t feel bad,” He said, “It’s great that you met her when you did. If you didn’t would you have ended up here?” He flashed her a dimpled smile before letting go of her hand and returning to the gear lever.

Rey watched him as they neared her apartment.

She was right, he _was_ a dangerous man and the more they spent time together, the more she knew that he was it for her. There’d be no one else for her and she was fine with that.


	40. Between a Bakery and an Art Studio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Might cause some palpitations and squealing
> 
> -X

Her apartment was on the third floor of an old brick building between a bakery and an art studio.

“Do you, maybe, want to go up?” She asked shyly, “To eat?” She was holding onto the bags, “We can probably microwave them or something,”

She was blushing again and he smiled, shutting off the engine, “Sure.” He said, “Wait there, I’ll open the door.”

He got down and opened the door for her. She slid out and he went to get her single shopping bag. He locked the doors.

“I’ll hold those,” He said, taking the paper bags from her, “Lead the way,”

Rey kept quiet as she led him into the building. They took the stairs; no elevator, she said. He didn’t mind.

She opened the door of the apartment at the end of the hall, “It’s not much,” She said nervously. He could feel her eyes on him as he took in her space.

Some of the walls were made of exposed brick and he could see the sofa she usually leaned on when making her videos. Fairy lights were strung above it.

“It’s cute,” He said, “Very you,” He took in the rest of the apartment. To his immediate left was a small kitchen and he placed the bags of food on the counter, “Where do you want this?” He held up the distinctive blue paper bag and she squeaked.

“Sorry, I’ll take that.” She said, grabbing it from him, “Um, make yourself at home? The microwave’s in the kitchen and the plates are in the cupboard over the sink.”

“Rey,” He smiled when she looked at him with her wide eyes, “I’ll be fine. Relax,” She turned even redder, “You can even shower and change or something, I won’t mind.”

Why did it suddenly feel like they were nearing the end of a date and they were just grasping at whatever they could so they could spend just a little bit more time together?

“I’ll be right back,” She said and shuffled away, presumably to her room.

He found the mismatched plates where she said they’d be and fixed their food.

By the time she came back he was done heating them up. He looked up and his lip twitched at the sight of her in a t-shirt and fuzzy pink pyjamas.

“Sorry,” She murmured, looking down and flushing, “I don’t really like jeans.”

He snorted before laughing and she looked up at him like some sort of distressed bunny, “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you.” She made a face and he laughed even harder, “You’re really cute,”

That made her even redder. She huffed before grabbing a plate and a milkshake and sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table.

He hesitated before grabbing his own food. Should he sit next to her or in front of her?

Her furniture decided it for him.

He didn’t fit in front of her; his back would hit the console table with the TV and his legs would hit hers. So he sat next to her.

He didn’t let it bother him when she moved away a little.

“Sorry, my place is really small,” She said and he shook his head.

“Nah, it’s cozy.” _Like you_ , “Lived in.” Unlike mine. He’d been living in his penthouse for the better part of five years and it still seemed so cold and uninviting; the only thing actually telling people that somebody lived there were his books and his grandma’s recipe box.

And the cat mug.

Hers had been sitting by the sink, waiting to be used.

“I don’t really have a lot of people over,” Rey said, “Usually it’s just Finn.”

“What about Rose?”

“Rose hasn’t been inside yet,”

It gave him a sick sense of pleasure to know that he was invited in first even though she and Rose had been friends longer.

They ate their burgers in relative silence.

“You want to watch anything? I have Netflix and Disney+,”

“Is that what they call Netflix and chill?” She choked and he wondered if he didn’t use the phrase right? Half the time he couldn’t understand a word Rose said when she was excited and talking in slang.

She looked at him, red-faced, “Where did you hear _that_?”

“Rose.” He said and she laughed. He shifted uncomfortably; her laugh does strange things to him.

“That’s um, I mean, I’m not saying I wouldn’t like that but maybe not now.” She said, still blushing, but she was smiling.

His brows lowered, what the fuck did that mean? “Okay?”

“And don’t listen to Rose,” She giggled and his chest ached at the sound, “Oh! That reminds me, Poe and Finn were freaking out about something earlier, wanna check?”

He shrugged and she brought out her phone. He scooted closer and she blushed, “What are we checking?”

She opened Twitter.

‘ _OMG #ChristmasShopping #Together #Reylo’_ it read and she scrolled down to see a picture of them from behind the fountain. His hands were on her face and he was smiling at her though their faces weren’t all that clear.

“That’s a nice photo,” Ben said and she stiffened at how close he was.

She scrolled some more, reading the comments.

_#Reylo for real? @That_British_Girl @BenSolo_

_OMG my heart can’t take it. Why won’t any of you answer? @That_British_Girl @BenSolo_

_Silence means yes? @That_British_Girl @BenSolo #Reylo #Maybe?_

_Our #princess is all grown up @BenSolo better take care of our #babyprincess_

_@BenSolo doesn’t deserve our Rey of Sunshine @That_British_Girl_

_OMG they were literally just in my window buying burgers! #OMG #Cute #IAmNowAFan_

There were more replies in that particular tweet asking what they ordered, where and if it looked like Rey was there under sketchy circumstances.

_#BabyRey is too pure! Must protecc_

“I guess I’m a bad guy now,” He laughed, “Your fans are _harsh.”_

“You should’ve seen yours,” She rolled her eyes and sighed, “If we don’t comment it’ll just blow over.”

“Why do you think I made those accounts?” She looked at him sharply, “What, you didn’t realise it?”

“You made those accounts because of me?” She flushed; she always blushed so prettily.

“Of course,” He gave her a smile and she turned even redder.


	41. Incoming: Perfect Male Specimen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: more squealing, mild mental health issues. 
> 
> There's a POV switch in the middle because it doesn't make sense to split them. (So we will stop at 2 chapters today)
> 
> -X

Ben Solo made his social media accounts for her.

Rey’s heart was beating so fast she was sure he could hear it. She didn’t know if it was because of his closeness or his confession. Why would he do something like that for her?

“So what do the people think?” He asked in between bites of his burger.

She put her phone down and started eating before her food grew cold again, “They think we’re dating,”

“We could be,” He said and she looked up at him again. Her cheeks felt hot, “What?”

“Don’t joke about that,” She said turning back to her food quickly, “It’s not funny,”

“Who says I’m joking?” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Look, I like you and I wouldn’t mind if we start dating.” Then he paused, “Unless of course you don’t want to then I’m totally fine with being friends,” He cleared his throat, “Okay, uh, just forget that whole conversation.”

And now he’s saying he’d be okay dating her. _Was_ he asking her? Rey glanced up. He wasn’t looking at her and she could see a hint of a flush on his cheeks as he drank deeply from his milkshake.

 _Did_ he want to date her?

“We just met,” She said and he gave her an odd half-shrug.

“Just forget it,” He mumbled.

“Phasma didn’t tell you to do that did she?” She slid away, just a little, “Because I’m telling you I’m not going to date you because you’re famous,”

Finally, he looked at her again, “What does Phas have anything to do with this?” His brows furrowed and his voice had gone deeper, “When did you even meet? Did she threaten you?”

Rey blinked. Ben looked so serious.

Her phone dinged and she looked at the new notification.

He inclined his head and she opened it.

RosiePosie mentioned @That_British_Girl.

She bit her lip and clicked on the notification.

_I’m all for this! View from the front;) @That_British_Girl @BenSolo #Reylo #Moment #ChristmasShopping #DaddySpoilsBaby._

It was another photo of them, this time their faces were clearly seen. The fountainwas behind them, the bags on the ground, making it seem like it was all _their_ shopping and not Leia’s. Rose must’ve snapped the photo before coming out of the coffeeshop.

Rey groaned, “Tell me honestly, did Rose know you were going to be there today?”

“Hux probably told her,” He shrugged. He’d finished his burger and was chowing down on the fries, “He doesn’t really keep a lot of things from her.”

“Oh.” She closed the app and ignored the buzzing.

There was another awkward silence. At least, she thought it was awkward. He seemed comfortable sitting there like he wasn’t a big-shot actor in a fan’s apartment.

He glanced at her and flashed her a smile, “Whatcha lookin’ at?” He arched a brow, still smiling. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing to her, “Anything interesting?”

“Why are you really here?” Rey asked seriously and his smile disappeared.

“What do you mean?”

“You said in the interview that you didn’t want to meet me and then you kept popping up everywhere,” She curled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees, “Is this some sort of game? Because I really don’t like games,”

“Rey,” She shivered when he breathed her name. She didn’t meet his eyes.

“I just find it really strange that you’re suddenly in my life and you’re so comfortable and you’re even joking about dating and not saying anything to shut down all those rumours. And you even made Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. So, what is it? Are you just bored or…” She hated it when her thoughts starts to get jumbled up like this but she couldn’t stop, “Or, or,” She blinked back tears, “I don’t like being played with.”

“Rey, baby,” She shivered again and drew her knees tighter against her. She loved hearing him say that, “I’m not playing with you,” His hands were on her arms, “I promise, I just want to be friends and get to know you better,”

“But _why_?” She looked up then to meet his eyes, “I’m just a nobody,”

“But not to me,” He said thickly and pried her arms away from her knees, “Look at me, Rey.” He cupped her cheeks, “What’s going on?”

She couldn’t breathe, “I, I,” She gasped and tried to stop the tears from falling. Here was Ben Solo, being so nice and hanging out with her like she’d always dreamed of, and here she was, falling apart at the seams, “You’re just, you’re so _nice_ to me.”

He stilled, “So you’re crying.” He looked like he didn’t know whether he should laugh or not.

“And, and you’re always _teasing_ and I don’t know what to make of it,” He rubbed her tears away with his thumbs, almost like a repeat of what he was doing earlier, “And I don’t even know what to think or, or how to act when you’re around and, and, I’m sorry.” She tried to look away and hide her face but his hands were still there, “I’m sorry, I’m normally okay, and it’s been a while since somebody stayed with me this late and,” She suddenly remembered how nosy her neighbours were and stiffened, “Oh my gosh, the _neighbours_.”

“What about them?”

“What would they think if they see you coming out of here?”

He tucked the loose strands of her hair back behind her ears, “Does it matter?”

“But what would people think?”

He laughed then, “Sweetheart, people already think we’re dating, what does it matter?” She blinked up at him and the tense energy she had seemed to just drain away completely.

She sagged and lowered her eyes, “I’m sorry,”

—

“What for?” His hands finally left her cheeks, “Come on, sweet thing, why don’t you come here and tell Daddy all about it?” She stiffened again and he could actually see the blood rushing up her neck to her cheeks. He chuckled, “Better?”

“That’s not funny,” She pouted. His hands were on her upper arms now and he pulled her gently into a hug. She stiffened even more and he was sure she’d stopped breathing.

“Breathe,” He said softly and rubbed her back. Slowly, she relaxed, “Just breathe. You’ll be fine.” When her breathing evened out, he stopped rubbing and just held her, “How long have you been having panic attacks?”

“For as long as I can remember,” Her voice was muffled. Their embrace was a little awkward, with him twisting and her kind of leaning over him, still, he didn’t let go. He wanted to pull her over his lap but he didn’t think she was ready for that, “The doctor said I have to work on my abandonment issues and anxiety,”

“Mm, and how’s that going for you?”

She sat up and scowled at him, “How do you think?”

He grinned, “There’s my girl,” She flushed again and tried to push away from him. He didn’t let her.

“Sorry about that,” She mumbled, cringing, “I’m so embarrassed,”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” He said and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She sucked in a breath and blushed even harder, “It’s good to let it out. _Let it out and let it in,”_ She looked surprised when he started singing. He winked, _“Hey Rey, refrain. Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders,”_

She snorted back a laugh, “As Paul McCartney said, Jude sounds better,”

“But I’m not talking to Jude, I’m talking to Rey.”

She was smiling again, “I didn’t know you could sing,”

“Did you think I can’t?” He arched a brow, “You do know who my parents are, right?”

“It just never occurred to me,” She sat back and this time he let her go, “You’re a great actor _and_ you sing. How perfect can one guy get?”

His lip twitched up, “I know how to play the piano and the guitar, too.”

She gaped at him, “And you have time to practice everything?”

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, “Not as much as I used to but I don’t have anything right now so I’ll probably pick it up again.”

“We should do a collab sometime,” She said excitedly and his lip twitched up in a half-smile. She flushed, “I-I mean, you should probably be off-screen and we probably shouldn’t tell people who you are if you’re okay with that.”

She was trying to protect his identity. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? He was a public figure, notorious for being violent, and she was still on the rise. He didn’t want her image to be tarnished by his record. Dameron should be telling her to avoid him.

But still, “I’d like that,” He said.

Anything to spend more time with her.

She smiled so brightly it hurt.

And now he knew why she was called sunshine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y should take notes. 
> 
> -X


	42. Netflix and Cuddle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for darkside_nuggets; thanks for the title ;) 
> 
> -X

There was a phone ringing and Rey groaned, smacking at a sweater-covered chest, wondering why she was sitting, “Finn, phone,” She groaned. It was definitely not hers because the ringtone was different and she knew she’d put her phone on silent.

“What?” He barked and she sat up with a squeak.

That was _definitely_ not Finn.

Dull winter sunlight filtered in through her blinds and she stared as Ben sat up to stretch his back, “What the fuck do you want, Hux?” He was obviously not a morning person. That, or he didn’t like being woken up so suddenly, “What the fuck are you doing in my _house_?”

She wiped her chin to check if she was drooling. It was seven in the morning. What _was_ Hux doing at Ben’s at seven in the morning on a Sunday? She stood and gestured to him that she was going to brush her teeth. He gave her a tight smile.

She made her way to her room, heart pounding. They’d watched something on Netflix. He didn’t want to leave her after her panic attack and had agreed to watch one movie. They must’ve fallen asleep.

Blood rushed to her cheeks. Ben Solo slept over.

 _Ben_.

 _Holy shit_.

She brushed her teeth roughly and fished around for an extra toothbrush for him. Thank God for bulk sales.

He was still on the phone when she came back out. She handed the toothbrush to him and mouthed ‘coffee?’.

He smiled gratefully. She could hear Hux still talking on the other end of the phone. Was Ben in trouble?

She made her way into her tiny kitchen. One of the first things she’d bought when she’d gotten her pay-check was a bright yellow Keurig. It’s not an espresso machine by any means but she loved flavoured coffee and was fascinated by machines and appliances. Finn had said Ben liked cold brew so she figured black coffee would be fine.

She should go buy a cold brew jug.

She stilled.

Was she expecting that there’d be a repeat of this?

She’d like that.

Ben stumbled into her kitchen and everything suddenly seemed small and cramped.

“Um, I have sugar and cream if you want any,” She said, handing him the bright yellow mug with a daisy printed on it.

“This is fine, thanks.” He said, leaning against her counter, “Hux thought I got in an accident or something,”

“So he was freaking out?” She smiled and dumped two teaspoons of sugar and splashed cream into her s’mores coffee.

“Yup. Pretty much.” He chuckled. He took a sip, looking all too comfortable in her tiny kitchen.

“Did you find the bathroom okay?”

“Yeah, I think that was your guest room?”

She nodded, “It was Finn’s room before he moved but,” She shrugged, “If you want to take a shower you can use that bathroom? I think Finn still has a few clothes lying around,”

He gave her a quirky, lopsided smile, “I don’t think his clothes are going to fit me, sweet thing.”

She looked him up and down and pursed her lips, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I’ll just shower at home,” He said, “Next time I’ll bring my own clothes,”

Did that mean he was planning on there being a next time?

She flushed and looked away, “I uh, if you want breakfast I can whip something up. Or I can go buy in the bakery downstairs?”

He laughed, “Don’t worry about it. Coffee’s fine. Thank you,”

“Thank you for staying with me last night.” She said, clearing her throat, “It was nice.”

He shrugged, “I thought we’re friends? I don’t think friends should leave friends when they’re going through something.”

She grimaced, “I’m fine. I can handle it.”

“I know you can, Rey.” He sounded so serious all of a sudden that she had to look up, “But it doesn’t hurt to lean on someone every once in a while,” He reached towards her and tucked her hair back behind her ear. She sucked in a breath and froze. He smiled, “Breathe,”

She looked down at her coffee and took a sip, “So um, did you, did you tell Hux where you were?”

“Didn’t have to,” He sighed, “Between Rose and my mom he figured it out.”

“Is he angry?”

He snorted, “‘Course not. He just worries a lot,” Rey nodded and yawned a little, “Sorry my phone woke you,”

“It’s okay, I gotta go check on Maz anyway, see if she has anything that needs repairing,” She continued when she noticed his curious look, “The landlady, Maz, she gave this apartment to me and Finn for really cheap provided I do repairs on the pipes and appliances so she doesn’t have to call people and pay them.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully, “Oh. It’s a win-win then. It’s a pretty old building,”

“Yup and she hasn’t been increasing the rent so I think we really lucked out finding her.”

“How long have you been living here?”

“Oh um, give or take two years. Finn’s books started taking off and we met Poe by chance around that time. He’s the one who pointed us to this building,”

“Oh.” His expression grew thoughtful, “She doesn’t happen to be Maz Kanata, does she?”

Rey’s brows shot up, “You know her?”

He grimaced, “Mm.”

“What’s with that look?”

“I just remembered something from my childhood I’d rather not remember,”

“About _Maz_?” Maz was a tiny _ancient_ lady with Coke bottle glasses and she can’t imagine how horrible the memory could be that he didn’t want to remember, “You’ve seen her right?”

“Oh yeah,” His grimace deepened, “Don’t be fooled by her sweet old lady looks,”

Rey cocked her head sideways and frowned, “Do I want to know?”

“I don’t know, do you?” He drained his mug and sighed, running his fingers through his hair, “I should go soon.”

Rey tried not to be disappointed. Ben was a busy man, “I’ll walk you downstairs,” She said and he shook his head.

“Don’t,” He said, “There might be paparazzis outside.”

“Oh, okay.” She walked him to the door instead, “See you around?”

“See you around, Rey.” He tucked her hair back behind her ear again and tried not to laugh when it flopped back out to her cheek, “I’ll text you,”

“Okay,” She chewed on her bottom lip. They stood by the open apartment door for a moment, “Um, bye?”

His lips curled up into a smile and he leaned down to kiss her cheek. She gasped, “See you around, baby girl,” He murmured and she flushed.

He straightened and winked before turning to leave.

She stood by the door, watching. He glanced back once to smile and wave at her before turning down the corner and out of sight.

She sighed and sagged on the doorsill.

Ben Solo was not good for her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ben Solo was not good for her heart" You and me both. 
> 
> -X


	43. Bath Time Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really for the life of me, cannot think of decent titles :(
> 
> -X

Hux was still in his penthouse when he got home. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

He was getting too old to sleep in awkward places but he’d do it in a heartbeat if it meant she’d lean on him again.

“And where were you?” Hux asked, brow raised. As always he looked impeccable in his suit, “You weren’t answering your phone yesterday either and,” He frowned, “You’re wearing yesterday’s clothes.”

“As if you don’t already know,” He sighed, “I’m going to take a shower. Why are you here so early?”

“You weren’t answering so I was worried,” He followed Ben to his room, “And Rose wouldn’t say anything either.”

“Yeah, but that’s not why you’re here.”

Hux sighed, “Fine, alright, it’s not.” He ran his fingers through his usually styled hair and Ben started to worry. Hux never messed up his perfectly styled hair no matter how frustrated he was, “Well, you’re in the tabloids.”

“I’m always in the tabloids,” He stripped and dumped his clothes in the laundry basket. Hux kept following him, all the way to the bathroom, “I’m taking a bath, Hux.”

“As if I haven’t seen what you have to offer,” Hux snorted, “I played rugby with you too, remember? Anyway, this time is different.”

“It’s called football and do you have a copy of this tabloid?” He stepped into the shower; Hux was leaning on his counter and produced a folded up tabloid from inside his suit jacket, “Okay, so you do. So what’s so different this time?” His voice echoed in the large bathroom and he turned the heat on, hoping to steam Hux out.

It didn’t work.

The sharp smell of newspaper permeated the air and he wrinkled his nose, hoping his shampoo could overpower it.

“They got a picture of your mother,” Hux said and Ben stilled halfway through shampooing his hair, “And Rey, and you. I don’t think we can keep Han and Leia a secret any longer,”

“Fuck,” Ben sighed and forced himself to relax and continue washing his hair, “What did Phas say?”

“She’s trying to figure something out. She’s pretty miffed about it though after all these years of keeping it a secret.”

“So what’s the headline?”

“Well, right now they’re saying you’re wining and dining your girlfriend’s boss so she’d give her vacation time so you two can go to the Alps on holiday. They’re also saying you’re getting ready to take it to the next step and propose.”

Ben snorted back a laugh, “That’s ridiculous. Nobody’d believe that,”

“You’d be surprised.” Hux sighed, “But what I’m worried about is people connecting Leia with Han _and then_ Han with you.” His phone dinged and he cursed, “Bloody hell.”

“What is it now?” Ben sighed. He really just wanted a shower.

“TMZ released a photo of you coming out of Rey’s apartment building.”

“ _Fuck_.”

“‘ _Ben Solo sleeps over at starlet girlfriend Rey Johnson’s apartment.’_ Well, that’s not a very creative title, is it?” His phone rang and he sighed before answering, “What is it Dameron? Mm, I’ll put you on loudspeaker,”

“Jesus, Hux.” Ben scowled, “I’m taking a shower,”

“Okay, I did _not_ need that image in my head,” Poe Dameron said from the loudspeaker, “Anyway, how the _fuck_ did they catch you at Rey’s?”

“I don’t know,” Ben’s voice echoed loudly and he winced, “Christ, can’t a man shower in peace?”

“Shower quicker then!” Poe said. He could hear Finn asking who was showering in the background.

“Ooo, I wanna see that,” Ben flushed at Finn’s declaration.

“Not before Rey does,” Poe hissed and Ben was grateful Hux couldn’t see his face because of the fogged up glass, “Anyway, Leia called me. There’re paps camping out outside her house wanting to know who she really is and what Rey and Ben were doing in her house last night. They’d figured out that all the public information about her is about Resistance and nothing at all about her personal life.”

“Christ, what a mess,” Hux sighed, “I told you, you should just make things official.”

“I _asked_ , alright?” Ben said angrily, “She said we just met.”

“Wait, Rey _rejected_ you?” Poe started laughing, “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.”

“Now can I _please_ shower without you all yammering in my bathroom?”

“Did you say _Rey rejected_ _Ben_?” Finn’s voice filtered in again, “Jesus Christ that girl. Imma give her a piece of my mind.”

Ben groaned, “Get the fuck out, Hux.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn is a mood.
> 
> -X


	44. Just Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for tonight.
> 
> -X

“How could you reject Ben Solo?” Finn hissed at her, “He’s _Ben frickin’ Solo_.”

“Yes, I know who he is, Finn.” Rey sighed, “I didn’t think he was serious,”

“That dude spent the night sitting on the floor with you,” Finn groaned, “Come on, Rey, you’re a smart girl, how can you not see that that man is into you?”

“We’re just friends,” Rey said. She didn’t tell him about him holding her and kissing her forehead and cheek. Friends did that too, right? “Who knows? Maybe we _would_ start dating someday,”

“Jesus Christ on a stick.” Finn sighed, “I want to strangle you right now. Like, _right now_.”

Rey frowned at him over the gingerbread latte he’d brought over, “He said he’d bring clothes next time he’s over. That means he’s planning on coming over again, right?”

Finn groaned again, “Rey Bey,” He sighed, “Sometimes you can be so, so, so stupid.”

“That’s mean,” She frowned.

“I thought you _liked_ him?”

“I did! I mean, I do, I do like him,” Her frown deepened, “But I like being friends with him too.”

“Why can’t you be friends who are dating?” Finn laughed, “Jesus, Rey.”

“Not everyone can be like you and Poe,”

“Come on baby girl,” Ben’s voice crooned in her head, like a strange dub and she flushed. Finn arched a brow, “What?”

“Nothing.” She squeaked.

“Rey,” He went around the kitchen counter, “Rey, did something happen between you two?” She shook her head quickly, “Something did! Holy shit did you fuck?”

“No!” She flushed bright red, “No! We just talked and had a burger and a milkshake,”

“Uh huh, that’s it?” He smiled wryly, “What are you not telling me, baby girl? And you didn’t even call me last night! Ugh, how could you?”

“You said you’ll take the backseat for Ben,” She mumbled.

“Ha! So you _are_ dating.”

“No,” She sighed and groaned, “Oh my gosh, he was _serious_?”

Finn snorted a little before bursting out laughing. Rey groaned again, “Regretting it now, huh? Man, talk about missed opportunities. You two could be making out by now,”

Rey could imagine it and she felt like she’d burst into flames any second now, with embarrassment? She didn’t know.

But she knew how soft his lips were. She felt it when he’d kissed her forehead and then her cheek that morning. She wished she had the courage to move her head a little to the right so that he’d have kissed her lips instead.

She bit her lip.

“Earth to Rey Bey, hello,” She snapped back and looked up, embarrassed, “Your’e thinking about him aren’t you?”

She squeaked and nodded.

Finn sighed dramatically, “Figured. Girl, you better tell me what happened before I kick your ass for keeping things from me.”

So she did, sort of.

Finn sighed, “Man, you really are stupid when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“I don’t have a lot of experience, okay?” Rey sighed, “You know that. And I just…I’m just, you know,” She gestured to herself, “And he’s so…so…”

“Big, hunky, handsome, fuck-able?”

“Nice! I meant _nice_.” She blushed, “But also yeah, all of those.”

Finn laughed again, “Rey, if I wasn’t gay I’d probably have tried to bone you.” She made a face, “Okay, maybe not. That’s kind of weird. But what I mean is, you’re gorgeous, baby girl.”

She squirmed, “Please stop calling me that,”

“Oh? Why?” His brow arched up, “Is that reserved for _Daddy_ now?” She covered her face with her hands and groaned. He laughed even harder, “Man, I didn’t think I’d see the day when the mighty princess Rey falls.”


	45. Dreaming of Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a cute little moment + group chats
> 
> -X

Having paparazzis follow her around was a new and somewhat horrifying experience. Poe had started picking her up for work after one incident where a pap grabbed her and she’d tripped. He’d only left when Maz had started threatening to call the cops and came out with a shotgun.

Who knew that that woman had a set of lungs on her?

Thankfully Rey only had a few scrapes and bruises to show for it. Still, her friends had been worried.

Even Ben knew somehow. She wasn’t sure who told him but he’d been really angry and punched a _different_ paparazzi on impulse when the man had popped out of a bush.

Which kind of made his notoriety as a violent man rise again especially online. Her supporters had been tweeting and tagging her in the news and tabloid reports, asking about it and telling her to be careful. She snorted; Ben wouldn’t hurt her.

They haven’t seen each other in two weeks but they’d kept in contact, updating each other on work and everything going on. They’d even talked about the gifts they’d gotten for their friends.

Rose had finally gone and made a group chat and she’d been discussing their dinner on the twenty-fourth and again on the twenty-sixth at Leia’s.

‘ _So what are we going to do on the 25th?’_ Rose asked.

‘ _Let’s go to Disneyland_.’ Poe suggested.

Rey had never actually been to Disneyland but Christmas at Disneyland with friends sounded amazing so she agreed.

 _‘Ok.’_ Ben replied too. Full-stop, no emojis. Did the man even know how to use emojis? Rey has never seen him use any despite them texting for the last how many weeks now and his social media accounts were still as empty as the desert.

 _‘There’s bound to be a lot of people so we should go early,’_ Hux suggested, _‘And get those FastPasses. I’m not about to ask for special treatment.’_

 _‘Wow Hugs, you know a lot about Disneyland’_ Finn teased and messenger announced that Hux’s nickname in the group chat has been changed to ‘Hugs’.

Hux sent an angry-face emoji.

 _‘I bring him a lot’_ Rose said with a smiley face, _‘We wear matching outfits.’_

Rey smiled and pressed on it to give it a heart react.

 _‘Cute!’_ She typed out.

Her phone rang and she grinned again, “Hey, Finn, what’s up?”

“Let’s go shopping,” He said, “I haven’t seen you in ages, Rey Bey, it’s not fair.”

“When?”

“Today?”

“Like right now?” She narrowed her eyes, “Are you already on the way here?”

“Yup! Be there in five. It’ll be like old times!”

Rey laughed, “Give me a few minutes to get changed you ass!”

Finn still had a key so he let himself in just as Rey was finishing her shower.

“It’s pretty cold out!” Finn called out, “Especially for you so wear your layers,”

“Yes, dad, thanks.”

“I don’t think Solo’s going to appreciate you calling me that,” She could hear Finn laughing, “Seriously, _does_ he make you call him Daddy?”

“We’re not dating!” Rey shrieked and pulled on a large sweater over her long-sleeved top. Why does everyone think they are?

But if they _were_ , _would_ she call him Daddy? He always looked so embarrassed when she does but he’d called _himself_ that a couple of times and she was pretty sure he almost did too in front of Rose and Leia.

Finn was suddenly in front of her, waving his hand in front of her face, “Ahem,”

She flushed, “Sorry,”

“Dreaming of Daddy?” He linked his arm with hers and winked, “I mean, I probably would too if I was in your shoes.”

“Oh shut up,”

Finn snorted back a laugh.


	46. The Old Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two tonight because the next two batches are a bit of a doozy I think. Seriously hope I don't catch up to myself *sighs* I need to write faster faster faster 
> 
> -X

It was like the old days. They’d gone to a big box store that sold clothes and went wild among the cluttered mess of aisles. She caught a glimpse of Finn with an armful of clothes while she sorted through the sweaters.

It was nice. She’d been so busy lately rushing to finish her writing and recording with Amilyn that she didn’t realise how much she missed her best friend. They used to do everything together and now they barely even saw one another.

She dumped the clothes and one pair of Tardis blue Chucks she found, in a cart and threw in a bunch of scented candles for good measure.

They met up near the counters after half an hour.

“Done?” Finn grinned, “Mm pumpkin spice candle,”

“I missed this,” Rey said, laughing a little as they lined up.

“I know! I can’t believe it’s been ages since we shopped like this.” He eyed their carts and pursed his lips, “I mean we didn’t buy as much as this but it’s always fun to look,” Then he quieted, “We’ve come a long, Bey,”

Rey looked at her full cart and smiled, “Yeah,” Back then they would’ve shared a cart.

“Oh, so, um, Disneyland.” Finn started fidgeting and Rey laughed.

“You’re going to propose?”

He paled, “How’d you know?”

“Call it instinct,” She winked and moved forward in the line to pay, “Let’s get a snack after and tell me your plans,”

Finn wanted to propose in Frontierland, in front of Big Thunder Mountain because that was Poe’s favourite ride in the park. She listened attentively, helping to plan out how they’d go about it since neither of them have actually ever been inside the park.

“Rey,” Finn said, expression serious, “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” She frowned, “Of course I am, why won’t I be?”

“I don’t know Rey, maybe I shouldn’t propose yet. I mean, we’ve only been dating what, a year?” He fidgeted in his seat, “And it’s always been just the two of us and,”

Rey rolled her eyes, “Finn, he makes you happy, doesn’t he?” He nodded, “And I work with him almost every day, _you_ make _him_ happy too. You two deserve all the happiness in the world,”

“But what about you?”

“What about me?” She understood what he was trying to say. It’s harder for her than it was for him, “I love you, boo. You’re my best friend in the entire world and I want you to be happy.” She squeezed his hands, “And just because you propose and you two get married doesn’t mean we can’t be friends anymore, right?”

“I just—,”

She cut him off before he could continue. She knew what he was going to say, “I’ll be fine, Finn. Really,” He didn’t want to leave her alone.

Finn was a foster kid too, except unlike her, he was never adopted.

“You should do it,” Rey said, “I’ll always be here for you.”

He squeezed her hands too, “What if he says ‘no’?”

Rey snorted, “Him, say no, to you?”

“You said ‘no’ to Ben Solo,” He pointed out and she flushed.

“I didn’t know he was serious,” She said, “And that’s different. You’re in an actual, honest-to-God relationship with Poe. I literally just met Ben.”

“But?” He arched a brow.

“But I feel like I’ve known him for ages,” She sighed softly and then scowled, “But we’re not talking about me!”

Finn laughed and all was well again.


	47. It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this on the 24th but then that would mess my schedule up (I updated way too fast🤦♀️). So I guess this is an early ? Christmas gift. 
> 
> -X
> 
> Please listen to Carol of the Bells while reading this. No real reason for that, I just find it ironic.
> 
> \- Y

Ben was slightly nervous.

Usually it was just him, Phasma, Hux and Rose getting together for Christmas dinner but now Rey and her friends were joining. He wasn’t really sure if he should consider them _his_ friends too.

Phasma had declined Disneyland when they’d called and asked her since strangely enough she herself didn’t have social media.

He fidgeted with his maroon sweater awkwardly. Hux had asked him to bake a bunch of Padmé’s cookies since Rose loves them and she wanted Rey to try too.

He did too, if he were honest with himself.

His phone dinged with a text from Rey, asking him what time they should arrive. She’s riding with Poe and Finn.

 _‘Kinda nervous,’_ She said, _‘Usually it’s just the three of us celebrating. Which is kind of sad, really I’m the perpetual third wheel.’_

He snorted back a laugh and ran his fingers through his hair.

 _‘Same’_ He replied, _‘It’ll be fine. It’s just Hux and Rose and Phas,’_

_‘And you.’_

She didn’t send an emoji with it so he wasn’t sure if she meant it in a good way or in a bad way. He didn’t answer.

The drive to Hux’s didn’t take very long and he did get there earlier than Rey.

Rose was the one who opened the door. As usual Phasma was already there. She was always the earliest one to arrive and the earliest to leave.

“Cookies!” Rose squealed and grabbed the giant container, “I’ll take these, thank you,”

“No hi?” He rubbed his chest, “I’m hurt Rose,”

Rose stuck her tongue out.

“Oh, hey Solo.” Hux’s head popped out from the door to the kitchen, “Help me get the ham out of the oven.”

He sighed and nodded at Phasma who grunted and kept her eyes glued to her iPad, “Good news, bad news?”

“Generally good.” She said, “But stop punching people.”

Ben sighed again, shook his head and made his way to the kitchen.

“Okay, get the ham out, I’ll pour out the mulled wine,” Hux said, looking a little frazzled, “I’m not used to preparing for more than four people,”

“Are you sure that’s what you’re worried about?” Ben asked, donning the mittens and carefully bringing out the gigantic piece of ham from the oven.

“Of course it is,” Hux gave him a nervous laugh, “You brought your camera, right?”

“Of course,” Ben chuckled, “I always do. And it’s fine, everything will be fine.”

“Rey’s here!” Rose shouted and Ben almost dropped the tray with the ham.

Hux scowled, “Careful with that, I spent the whole day cooking it,”

He followed Hux out and met her eyes the moment he saw her.

She grinned, her dimples winking at him and he almost dropped the ham again.

“Jesus Christ, Solo,” Hux scowled again, “Just put the damned thing on the table before you lose our dinner.”

He cleared his throat and placed the tray not he table.

He took off the mittens and made murmured a hello to Rey, Finn and Poe. Her smile widened.

“You look pretty,” He said softly, resisting the urge to tuck that stray hair back behind her ear. People were watching after all.

“Thank you,” She said. Her eyes were twinkling, reflecting the Christmas lights Rose had hung over their heads, “And I see you’re not wearing black today,”

He looked at his sweater and grinned, “Only day of the year I won’t,” He winked and she blushed a little.

“Rey!” Rose linked her arms around Rey’s and the spell was broken. Ben looked away and cleared his throat, “Ben made cookies!”

“He did?” Rey’s eyes widened, “You bake?”

Ben shrugged as heat travelled up his throat to his cheeks, “Sometimes.”

“You _have_ to try it,” She said, “Seriously, you can’t eat _just_ one.”

Rey laughed and Ben rubbed the back of his neck to hide the shivers that ran down his spine, “Shouldn’t we save it for dessert?”

“No, definitely not. You have to try it like, yesterday,” Rey laughed again and met Ben’s eyes again. She smiled and he smiled back before Rose whisked her away.

Poe sidled up to him and he stiffened, “You know you could just ask her again. Finn said she thought you were joking.”

Ben sighed and rubbed the back of his neck again, “I don’t know, Dameron.”

“You like her, right?” He didn’t answer, “Solo, you _do_ like her, right? You’re not just fooling around or anything?”

“‘Course not.” He grumbled, “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Oh?” Poe arched a brow, “You think you can hurt our Rey?”

Ben grimaced. Why does Poe keep insisting that she’s _‘our Rey’?_ He didn’t want her to be anyone else’s but his.

Poe’s smug smile grew and he had the sudden urge to punch him, “What’s the matter, Solo?” He said in a sing-song voice, “You don’t look very happy,”

“Babe, why are you tormenting the guy?” Finn appeared next to them, “Don’t come crying to me if he beats you up,”

Poe made a face, “You think I’ll let someone else beat me? Nah, that’s only for you, babe.” He grinned at his boyfriend and winked.

Ben grimaced again and shifted uncomfortably. He never did figure out what he’s supposed to do or say when couples flirt with each other or show affection to each other. He never liked being touched so he couldn’t exactly relate.

“What do you think, Solo?” He turned to Finn, “Rey looks really pretty, no?”

She did. He’d never seen her in anything other than sweaters and performance-wear. He didn’t say anything.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been telling Rey to get that dress,” Finn continued, “She never really had a reason to wear them,” He elbowed him, “So imagine my surprise when she came out of her room in _that_.”

“Oh, by the way Rey made a fruitcake. I hated those myself but when I tried _hers_?” Poe grinned, “Nothing beats homemade.”

Finn was nodding but Ben only had eyes for Rey who’d come out of the kitchen with Rose.

She had a cookie and a glass of milk with her. She looked up and met his eyes and smiled.

And it was like everything stopped.

He hoped that whatever this was, was real.


	48. The Prettiest Sight To See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas is one of my favourite Christmas songs so.
> 
> Warning: Feels 
> 
> -X
> 
> Incidentally Carol of the Bells is mine.
> 
> -Y

Ben thought she was pretty.

Her heart fluttered and she tried not to giggle.

She smiled at Hux who nodded and met Rose’s eyes. They held some sort of silent conversation in those three seconds and Rey wondered if she’d ever have that with someone. It seemed nice to have someone to depend on and communicate without saying anything.

Immediately she thought of Ben. Was he really serious when he said they could be dating? Would he ask her again, after her epic fail?

“You _have_ to try this, seriously,” Rose said, shoving a cookie at her and going to the fridge to get a glass of milk, “When Armie brought them home the first time I couldn’t believe _Ben_ made them. I mean, look at him, he’s huge and clunky and like one of those man’s man and I thought he’d poisoned them or something but then I tried them and it was like whoa, that’s like a whole new side to him. He’s pretty soft,” She brought back the glass and grinned.

Rey smiled and looked down at the cookie, “He is,” She said and Rose’s smile widened. There was a glint in her eyes.

“So,” She leaned over the counter, “How have you and Ben been?”

Rey flushed, “What do you mean?”

“Rey Rey, your face is easy to read you know,” Rose laughed, “ _Something_ happened.”

“Nothing happened,” She squeaked and nibbled on the cookie. Rose was right, it _was_ good. The chocolate melted in her mouth and that hint of cinnamon made her want to keep eating to just to have another taste of it.

Kind of like Ben.

He was dark and warm and so _guarded_ but every once in a while she’d see something in him that drew her closer, just a tiny portion of himself that makes her want to find out what it was that he was hiding.

He didn’t even tell her Leia was his mum. Of course, he didn’t really have a reason too. Sometimes she forgets that he’s only popped in her life in the last two months.

“Rey,” Rose was calling her and she flushed again.

“Sorry,”

“Are you okay? You’ve been kind of out of it. Did Ben do anything to you? Bully you?”

“No, of course not,” Rey said, “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know it’s like you two are kind of more awkward than normal. I’m sorry I left you that day,”

“It’s fine, really. I had a great time,”

Rose’s smile returned, “I heard he spent the night,” She waggled her eyebrows and Rey snorted back a laugh.

“Yeah, it seems _everyone_ did. Poe said not to comment on it first just to see how the public would take it.”

“I’m totally for it and the vibe I’m getting from the rest your supporters is like, kind of mixed? But also mostly positive. Gwen’s having a field day with all the possibilities.”

The thought of Phasma made Rey shift nervously. The tall woman was also present in their little dinner and she’d inclined her head at her when she arrived but she wasn’t sure how to act in front of her. They weren’t exactly friends and the one and only time they’ve met she’d been testing her.

Rose was talking about their previous Christmases and she followed her out the kitchen.

Poe and Finn were talking to Ben and when she looked up, their eyes met. He’d been watching her. Her breath hitched a little and she flushed but she couldn’t look away.

Even surrounded by people he looked so lonely.

She smiled at him and her heart ached at the look he gave her.

Like he was terrified.

She turned her attention to Rose and finished the cookie.

“You want another one?” She asked and Rey shook her head.

“I’d love another one but I’m a little worried I’d lose my appetite and miss out on all this food,” She admitted and Rose laughed.

“I’ll save you a few to take home,” Then she quieted and eyed her, “Or maybe…you can ask Ben to make you some,” She smiled and blinked innocently but Rey knew her enough to know that _nothing_ in Rose’s mind is innocent.

Rey laughed.

“Rey, there you are!” Poe and Finn approached her, “Sorry Rosie, we gotta borrow Rey Bey for a bit,” Rose grinned.

“Sure, I gotta talk to Gwen anyway. I really want to post our dinner so I gotta clear it up with her.”

“Not me?” Poe made a face, “I mean, Rey is my darling little starlet,”

Rose shrugged, “You won’t mind.”

Poe grinned, “True that. You make life so much easier for me,” Rey flushed and Rose laughed.

The men linked their arms on each of hers and Finn placed the now-empty milk glass on the coffee table.

They brought her a little to the side, nearer the large floor-to-ceiling glass doors that led to the equally spacious balcony. Hux and Rose lived in West Hollywood in one of those tens of millions of dollar penthouses. From what she understood Hux had come from old money.

It was darker in this area, made more romantic by the string lights Rose had set up above them. Really, the place was beautiful and aesthetic, nostalgic almost, in its romance. She wanted to take a picture of the couple in front of her as they looked at each other.

Her fingers itched. She wanted to write.

She brought out her phone quickly and snapped the photo and they looked at her with surprise, “Don’t move,” She said, “And just look at each other.”

The two of them looked amused before facing each other. They were smiling at first but the longer they stared at each other the more serious their expression got. She captured every single one of those looks, filing them away so she can look at them and write a song.

She wasn’t one to write love songs having never really experienced it herself but _seeing_ her friends so in love? She could write something about it. Maybe a single if Resistance likes it.

She cleared her throat and the two of them flushed and looked away from each other, “So, what did you two need to talk to me about?”

They haven’t proposed without her, have they? Anxiety made her stomach churn. They wouldn’t do that, right?

“Actually we just wanted to know how you’re doing,” Poe said quickly, clearing his throat.

“Me?” She blinked.

“Yeah, I know things like this aren’t really your thing,” Finn said, “I mean, it’s good right, that we have more friends? But we just really wanted to know how you’re doing. We know how you get when you’re overwhelmed,”

She looked down, touched by her friends’ concern, “I’m actually doing really okay. I’m not that big of a wreck as I was like a year ago,”

“We know that, but that doesn’t mean we’re not concerned,” Poe touched squeezed her arm, “We’re your friends, Rey.”

Finn was nodding, “We’ve been through so much and we’re so proud of you,”

Rey blinked back the sudden tears that sprang in her eyes, “Come on you guys, don’t make me cry, do you have _any idea_ how hard it is to put eyeliner this perfect?”

Poe laughed a little and Finn grinned, “Alright, alright, no more sappy shit for tonight.” Finn said, “We just wanted to let you know. We’ve all been so busy lately,”

Rey smiled.

At least, until something large and heavy crashed into her.


	49. It's Glistening Once Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one for tonight. 
> 
> Warning: Feels and squeals.
> 
> I warned you.
> 
> You're welcome.
> 
> -X

“Solo, I need to talk to you,” Hux said seriously and Ben frowned.

“You alright?” Hux nodded, still serious, motioning for him to come closer.

“How are you?” He asked and Ben’s brows furrowed, “Seriously, how are you?”

Was this about Leia?

“I’m okay, I guess?” He rubbed the back of his head and started walking alongside his best friend. He looked worried about something, “If this is about mom, it’s fine. We’re fine. We’re…,” He shrugged, “Trying. I guess. It gets awkward but I think we’re doing fine.”

Hux nodded, “That’s good. We’re going to have to talk to her soon about, you know, your relationship and everything. It’s better for the secret to come out on our terms than some tabloid article,”

Ben nodded, “What does Phas think?”

“What do _I_ think?” Phasma popped up on his other side. He didn’t even realise she’d been following and listening, “Well, _I_ think we’re running out of time. I suggest your mother makes an appearance on _Good Evening, America_ and let Ms. Pava grill her.”

“Jessika Pava? Grill Leia Organa? Don’t make me laugh, Phas.” Hux snorted, “That girl would not do that. She adores Resistance.”

“Exactly,” Phasma said, “Since she adores Resistance, it’ll be easier for Leia to drop the bomb there and Ms. Pava would not do anything that’d make anyone spin the story differently.”

Hux didn’t look like he agreed, “But then that’d mean Ben would have to make an appearance.”

Phasma was nodding, “It’s necessary that they appear together so there won’t be room for those stupid paps to intrude.”

“I don’t know,” Ben sighed, “I’m not really ready for people to put my relationship with my mother under a microscope. And we’ll go on the topic of my dad and…” He wasn’t sure if he could talk about Han calmly.

“I’ll make sure Ms. Pava doesn’t ask too many questions about your father,” Phasma assured him. He sighed and caught a glimpse of her meeting Hux’s eyes and nodding.

He frowned. They grabbed his arm, one each, and he looked at them, confused.

Then, they shoved him.

“Jesus, fuck!” He crashed into someone who yelped and he caught her around the waist on instinct, “What the _fuck_?” He looked down in the woman at his arms and his heart skipped when her watery doe eyes met his, “Are you okay?” He asked, “I’m so sorry about that, are you hurt? These two dickwads shoved me.”

“Language, Benjamin,” Phasma smiled coolly.

Ben scowled at her and glared at Hux who was smiling innocently. He pointed up, a little subtly, and both he and Rey looked up.

Nestled between two Christmas lights was a mistletoe.

They fucking did it on purpose.

He looked down again, at Rey, whose hands were on his arms. She was staring at him wide-eyed and flustered.

“What are you waiting for?” Poe said with a laugh and Rey sucked in a breath and turned even redder. So he was in on it too.

His lip twitched up. He raised his hands to cup her face, “Are you crying again?” He murmured and she looked away, “Don’t cry,”

“I’m not crying,” She mumbled, “This is embarrassing,”

He chuckled, “Yeah, it is.” He murmured with a soft sigh, “Look up.” She did and he leaned down down to press his lips against hers.

She sucked in a breath again and froze. So he pressed harder, flicking his tongue over her lower lip, making her whimper and tremble.

But she relaxed ever so slightly, breathing out a small uneven sigh and kissing him back.

He had to force himself not to continue. He told himself that they were surrounded by people who were probably taking about a million pictures but he couldn’t help but linger.

She tasted like milk and cookies and warmth and everything he’d ever wanted.

She tasted like _home_.

And it felt like he was whole again.

He pulled away slowly, hesitantly, trying not to show how much that one kiss made him breathless.

She bit her lower lip. Her cheeks were warm underneath his palms, “Are you okay?” He asked huskily. She nodded and swallowed almost audibly.

Someone cleared their throat and they both froze and stepped away from each other.

“I’d just like to say that dinner’s getting cold,” Rose said sweetly, “So we should probably go eat,”

“Um,” He glanced at Rey whose face was still almost as red as her dress, “Yeah, we should, um…”

She nodded and he rubbed the back of his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were considering making this chapter 'The Holly That Will Be' but holly is apparently not mistletoe.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> A bunch of dumbasses.


	50. Silver Lanes That Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Christmas at Hux's. I really like Christmas; this is the first year we're spending Christmas at home in years because the pandemic has kept us all home. Silver linings I guess?
> 
> -X

What was _that_?

It all happened so quickly that she was reeling from it.

She felt like she was floating next to Ben as they made their way to the large dining table. It was a shock that she didn’t actually trip and fall flat on her face.

She could still feel his arms around her and his lips on hers.

He pulled out the seat for her like a true gentleman and she gave him a smile. He looked so calm and collected.

He smiled back and sat next to her.

Phasma sat on her other side and she stiffened slightly.

“Gwen, we agreed no work at the table,” Rose said. She was sitting in front of Ben and next to Hux who was at the head of the table

“This isn’t work,” She said, “Just editing something a little.” She met Rey’s eyes and smiled coolly, “You look lovely.”

“Um, thanks?”

Phasma tilted the iPad towards her and she flushed when she saw the photo.

Ben’s eyes were shut and he looked absolutely _wrecked_ as they kissed. She didn’tlook any better. She didn’t even know her hands had gone to his chest. She was grasping his sweater, pulling him close, like she didn’t want to let go.

And she didn’t.

She wanted their kiss to last forever.

His lips had been so soft and warm when they pushed against hers.

And it was like pieces of her fell into place and for the first time she felt that she belonged.

Her heart was still racing and she could feel his heat next to her.

“Beautiful photo, no?” Phasma chuckled and took the iPad away. Rey looked up to meet her eyes, “I’d say it’s one of the best I’ve ever taken.” She arched a brow, “Don’t give me that look, I’m all for you and Ben getting together.”

She added some sort of filter to it to make the lights look faraway and blurred, so the focus was on them. They looked like they were star-crossed lovers desperate to stay together and knowing that they couldn’t.

 _Could_ they be together, just like that?

Rey looked away, “I’ll send it to you later,” Phasma whispered and nudged her, “It’ll be my Christmas gift to you.”

“Thanks,” Rey squeaked and Phasma chuckled again.

“I think we’ll be good friends, don’t you think?”

“Hey, hey, don’t try to steal my star away,” Poe said with a frown. He sat in front of her, “Whatcha two whispering about there?”

Ben glanced at her and Phasma too.

“Oh nothing of that sort, Dameron,” Phasma said airily, “I was just telling her how lovely she looked today and that I would love to work with her someday.”

Poe snorted, “You’re already sinking your claws in places you shouldn’t.”

“Oh? I do believe I have a right to since it involves _my_ star.” Phasma arched a brow, as though daring Poe to react violently.

She knew Poe and Phasma didn’t get along but really, this was a bit ridiculous.

“That’s enough, Phas,” Ben said, frowning.

Phasma sighed dramatically and raised her hands, “Alright, if you say so.”

“Poe,” Rey said quietly, frowning too, “Don’t be mean.”

Poe raised his hands too, “Sorry, I get really defensive,”

Phasma shrugged, “We both want the same thing.”

The two seemed to have come to a silent agreement and Poe nodded.

“If you’re done, I would like to eat,” Hux said icily, “We’re all friends, are we not?”

There was a general sound of agreement and Hux made an elaborate speech thanking them all for coming and that it meant a lot that all their friends were there, both new and old. He cut the ham and gave the first serving to Rose who beamed at him.

Dinner went ahead as planned, the conversation was light and happy. Rose had turned on the sound system and Christmas songs piped in around them softly. Ben offered her some mulled wine but she declined.

She didn’t drink.

He looked like he wanted to ask and she was grateful when he didn’t. He squeezed her hand once and fell into an easy conversation with Finn about football. He’d been a quarterback, of course, and both Hux and Finn were running backs.

Personally she didn’t know much about American football but she was happy just seeing all her friends at ease.

She even dared to think of Phasma as her friend now.

She hoped they’d always be friends like this.

“Rey, are you okay?” Rose asked and she flushed when everyone turned to her.

“I’m fine,” She said, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re quiet,” Rose said and Rey shrugged.

“I like listening to everyone talk.”

“Well since you do, why don’t we talk about something _everyone_ wants to talk about?” There was a twinkle in Poe’s eyes, “How was your kiss?”

Rey froze and heat rushed to her cheeks.

Phasma snorted back a laugh next to her.

She glanced at Ben. As usual his face was an unreadable mask. Was Phasma’s photo real or had he been acting? She was sure he’d kissed a lot of people, after all, he _is_ an actor and she knew he starred in quite a number of broadway shows that had kissing scenes in them.

Finn elbowed him and scowled, “Don’t tease them,”

“Sorry,” Poe laughed a little, “I’m just really curious.”

“Jealous?” Ben rumbled, his lip twitching up slightly, “Who’re you curious about?”

“Ugh, not you obviously.” Poe rolled his eyes.

“Then you’ll be curious forever,” Ben shrugged and Finn burst out laughing. What did that mean?

“Sorry babe, but I’m not telling you how it feels to kiss her either,” Finn said and took a sip of his wine.

Everyone turned to her wide-eyed. Was she imagining Ben’s expression darkening? He suddenly exuded a strange aura, like was holding himself back.

She looked down and flushed.

“Um, it’s not what you think,” She said nervously.


	51. The Wish of Barney and Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two tonight! What could Ben's wish be?
> 
> -X

It’s not what you think, she said. Then what else would it mean? Ben tried to school his features but he was finding it hard to keep himself calm just thinking of someone else kissing her.

Of course she’d have had other men before him. She was gorgeous, sunshine and happiness incarnate, and he was lucky to just even be in her presence.

He just didn’t expect Poe’s boyfriend to be one of them.

He clenched his fists on his lap.

Finn snorted and laughed, “Sorry for putting you on the spot like that, baby girl,”

Ben gritted his teeth.

“Do tell,” Phasma said, turning to Rey fully, “I’m curious how Poe’s boyfriend was once yours,”

Rey turned an even brighter shade of red.

“You didn’t tell me that, either,” Rose said, pouting, “That is _big_.”

“He wasn’t,” Rey said with an awkward laugh, “We weren’t dating. Not in the slightest. We were roommates,”

Phasma arched a brow.

“Finn’s as gay as could be, alright?” Finn snorted back a laugh at this, “But he was really popular in college since he was an athlete.”

“We just found it convenient to pretend to be in a relationship,” Finn finally said, “I mean we were roommates anyway and we spend so much time together. It’s not like either of us were interested in a relationship at that time,”

“Oh right, you told me Finn thought Poe was coming onto you,” Rose said, leaning forward a little.

“I was not,” Poe said with a scowl, “She’s cute and all, but he’s _hot_.”

Rey giggled.

Ben finally relaxed, just a little.

“Of course sometimes people would ask for proof,” Rey continued, “So we did kiss a few times.” She flushed again, “But not, you know,” She cleared her throat, “Just a friendly peck?”

Finn laughed then, “Jesus, Rey you make it sound like we were doing something wrong. Yeah, we kissed a few times but it’s like the kinda kiss you give your sister, you know?”

No, he did not know. He didn’t have a sister. Still, he wasn’t sure how happy he should be that she and Finn had that kind of relationship. Or didn't?

“You’ve been very quiet Benjamin, what are your thoughts?” Phasma asked wryly and he scowled.

Everyone turned to him then and he grimaced, “Nothing.” He said, “Should I have any thoughts on it?”

Rose smacked her forehead and muttered an ‘aiya’ and Hux sighed.

His scowl deepened. What was he _supposed_ to say?

Rose clapped her hands suddenly, “Who wants fruitcake and eggnog?”

“Me!” Poe raised his hand, “I’ll never pass up the chance for booze on booze,”

Finn rolled his eyes and Rose got up to go to the kitchen.

Ben met Hux’s eyes. Hux swallowed nervously and shrugged.

“Ready?” He asked and Hux shrugged again, “Armitage.”

“What’s going on?” Rey asked him. He turned, met her eyes briefly and turned away just as quickly. He cleared his throat.

“Armitage?” Phasma arched a brow and Hux flushed before scowling.

“Stop calling me that, _please_.” Hux hissed, “I’m…I’m just trying to find the right moment.” He shifted in his seat.

Rey gasped, “You’re going to propose?” She leaned closer, pressing close to his arm. He stiffened slightly.

“No way!” Poe and Finn turned to him too, “Hugs!”

“Shut up. Please, keep it down.” Hux hissed.

“Why don’t you go see if Rose needs help?” Ben murmured to Rey. He shifted slightly and his arm brushed against her chest. She flushed and looked up to meet his eyes.

“Okay,” She squeaked and stood to make her way to the kitchen.

Ben watched her for a moment before turning back to Hux who was eyeing him strangely, “What?”

Hux sighed, “Christ, you’re already acting like a married couple.”

He scowled. No they weren’t. They weren’t even dating.

“So, Armitage,” Phasma purred coolly, “Were you going to keep me in the dark too? I thought we were friends,”

“Come on Phas,” Hux sighed heavily, “Knowing you? You’d find _something_ wrong before I can.”

“Of course,” Phasma snorted, “This is _Rose_ we’re talking about.”

“Exactly, I want…” Hux sighed again, “I just want to make her happy.”

“Go for it, then.” Poe grinned, “We’re all here to record it,” He brought out his phone.

“We’re not as good as a photographer as Rose but I think between the four, five of us, we’ll take a few good ones.” Phasma said and Ben nodded.

Hux laughed a little and stiffened when he heard Rey and Rose coming back.

“I really thought you have to take like months to make this,” Rose chattered, “And we never really bought any because it’s not really like, good or anything.”

Rey laughed, “Yeah, that’s what I thought too until I made one for us one Christmas.”

“What did we miss?” Rose asked, smiling brightly.

“Nothing,” Ben grumbled and eyed the large fruitcake in her hands.

Rose arched a brow and shrugged. She placed the fruitcake on the table and started slicing it. She passed the plates and Rey poured out the eggnog. She didn’t pour some for herself.

They ate and chatted. Hux still hasn’t made his move.

Ben hated to admit it but Dameron _was_ right about the fruitcake. Then again, he’d eat anything Rey made.

“What do you guys do for Christmas normally?” Rose asked, “We usually play charades and play paper dance,”

“Paper dance?” Poe grinned, “I haven’t played that in years, Jesus. Wait, how do you even play when there’s only four of you?”

Rose shrugged, “It’s a quick game. Then we switch partners a few times.”

Poe laughed.

“We usually watch movies,” Rey said, “Depending on the mood. One time it was horror films,”

“Ugh, never again.” Finn rolled his eyes, “Who watches horror films during Christmas anyway?” Then he grinned, “Last year it was all the movies _he_ was in,” He jerked his head towards Ben.

He arched a brow, “Me?”

“Yeah,” Poe laughed, “Rey’s idea of course,”

He turned to Rey and she gave her friends a look of utter betrayal, “I’m flattered,” He said, “I never watched any of them.”

Rey wouldn’t look at him and he suppressed a smile.


	52. Soon the Bells Will Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Christmas goodness at Hux's. Tonight is the peak of the Geminid Meteor Shower in case anyone's interested and wants to watch ;) 
> 
> -X

They decided to watch a movie. Phasma had breathed a sigh of relief.

“Do you have any idea how terrifyingly hard it is to play when your partner’s the same size as you?” She said with a snort, “We’re both so tall and he’s such a big, clunky thing we always lose first. Then again, you’re here so you would’ve been his partner and I’d be free to mess with everybody.”

“Oh come on, Gwen. A movie sounds nice,” Rose grinned and turned to the smart TV, “What do you guys think? We have Netflix, HBO Go, Prime, Hulu, heck, since we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow, what about Disney+?”

Rey saw how Hux met Ben’s eyes. He brought out the camera he hasn’t really been using and she brought out her phone.

Everyone quieted when Hux went down on his knees behind her and pulled out the ring box from his pocket.

“Guys?” She turned around and blink, “Um,”

“Rose,” He started and cleared his throat, “I, um, I know you think it’s a little sudden, damn it, what am I saying,” Rey tried not to laugh, “I just, I love you, Rose and I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives and,” He breathed out a little unsteadily, “And I hope you would allow me to.” Rose blinked and she could see tears starting to well up in her eyes, “Marry me, Rose Tico.”

She was already nodding before he could even finish. Then she sniffled and covered half her face with her hands, “Oh my God, Armie,”

Rey moved a little so the video would show both their faces. Hux’s lip twitched up a little, “I need your hand for this part, darling.” He said and Rose giggled, giving him her left hand. He slipped the ring on and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

Rey grinned even as her eyes grew watery. She really was a sap.

“Congratulations, Hugs!” Poe said and for once Hux didn’t scowl. He laughed and stood, pulling Rose in for a kiss.

When they pulled apart she finally noticed all the cameras and flushed, “You guys knew the whole time?”

“Not really,” Finn said, approaching cautiously, “Only Ben did.” She patted her back and grinned, “Congratulations Rosie,”

Rose smiled shyly and wiped her eyes.

Rey ended the video and went to give Rose a hug.

“Oh you guys,” She sniffled, “I had no idea,”

“Congrats, Rosie!” Rose gasped.

“Paige?” Phasma was holding up her iPad; it was a video call with a girl who looked almost exactly like Rose, “Oh my God!”

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there,” Paige said, smiling, “There was a snow storm and I couldn’t leave.”

Rose started tearing up again, “I can’t believe you all just…” Then she looked at Hux and grinned, “I can’t believe you,”

Hux shrugged and smiled, the adoration in his face so clear. It was the happiest she’d ever seen him, “What better time than your favourite holiday, yeah?”

“What if I said ‘no’?” Rose laughed, “Then Christmas would be ruined forever,”

“I’ll say ‘yes’ if you won’t!” Paige piped in from the iPad.

“Oh hush you, he’s mine.” Rose said.

Rey laughed. It must be nice having a sibling.

Ben was eyeing her a little strangely and she frowned. He looked away. She approached him while everyone else was busy looking at the engagement ring.

It was a pretty ring, really. A very delicate cushion-cut halo ring that sparkled underneath the warm Christmas lights.

“You’re not going to go congratulate the happy couple?” She asked him.

Ben shrugged, “I will. Later.”

She nodded, “They look so happy,”

“Yeah, Rose is good for him.” He gave her a tight smile, “I don’t know if she told you this but I was a really big dick to her at the start.”

She laughed quietly, “Yeah, she did. She said she screamed at the both of you.”

He nodded and grinned down at her. His dimples flashed and she looked down with a flush, “She did,” He said, “We had to beg, both of us.” Then he grew serious, “Why don’t you drink?”

Rey stiffened a little.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer that.” He said, “I was just curious since you seem fine eating things with alcohol.”

“You know I was adopted,” She said quietly, still watching Rose and Hux, “And I was brought here when I was six.” He grunted so she continued, “Well, some of my foster parents said that my biological parents were alcoholics and they gave me up for alcohol.”

She could feel his eyes on her but she refused to cave. This was a happy moment and she didn’t want to ruin it for Rose and Hux.

“I’m sorry I asked,” He said softly and hesitated before pulling her close to give her a one-armed hug.

“It’s fine,” She said, shifting slightly. He kept his arm around her shoulders, “Sometimes I wonder though. Was I not a good child?”

“I don’t think so,” He said. His arm around her was a comfort, “Your mom wouldn’t agree, right?”

Her heart ached a little. She really missed her mum, “You’re right,” She said, finally looking up to meet his eyes. He gave her a strange look before looking away and clearing his throat, “What?”

“Nothing,” He mumbled. He didn’t remove his arm and she slipped hers around his waist. She felt, more than saw, his surprise.

“Thank you,” She leaned her head on him a little before pulling away fully. He gave her another strange look, “I’m really glad we met and became friends.”

Then he gave her that lopsided grin she was growing to love, “Anytime.” Then he grew serious again, “You’re not alone, Rey.”

She bit her lip and resisted the urge to look away from deep pools that were his eyes, “Neither are you,” She replied softly.

His lip twitched up and he tucked her hair back behind her ear.


	53. Right Within Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a dork but he can also be smooth af. Also he likes to plan for the future.
> 
> -X

They all promised to meet outside the park at ten in the morning. Hux and Rose both had an annual pass so Poe volunteered to buy for the rest of them online.

Ben had given her one last smile before she slid in Poe’s backseat.

“So, you two were looking pretty close,” Rose teased. Hux’s arm was around her shoulders and hers were around his waist.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ben grunted, “See you tomorrow.”

Rose gave him a wry look which he decided to ignore.

He drove home, wondering what it’d be like if he were to move in with her. Her home was so much cosier than his. Or maybe she should move in with him? To make his seem more like a home than a place he just slept in.

He paused. Why was he already thinking about that? She wasn’t even his girlfriend yet.

He sighed and pounded on the steering wheel once. Did she really think he’d been joking? Should he ask again?

What would he do if she rejects him a second time?

He’d said he’ll be satisfied with being her friend but would he be, really, now that he knew how her lips tasted?

He parked in his building’s basement parking and sighed, leaning against his seat with his eyes closed.

Did she even know how much he burned just being close to her? She was sunshine and he, he was Icarus, just daring to be close.

His phone was buzzing again.

They were sending photos in the group chat.

He didn’t make it a habit of saving photos but as he was flipping through, he came upon a picture of Rey with a cookie and a glass of milk. She was laughing at something.

He saved the photo and continued to swipe.

Pictures of Poe and Finn, of Hux and Rose, of Phasma, even some of himself he didn’t realise they’d been taking. He was always looking at Rey. Would they notice? Would she? He rubbed the back of his neck and flipped through.

The next was of Rey, Finn and Poe in the corner with the mistletoe. She looked ready to cry. What had they been talking about?

Then it was him and Hux.

Even the moment Hux and Phasma pushed him was recorded in a photograph.

He stopped again at a photo. This time of him and Rey staring into each others’ eyes. He saved it too.

He was a little worried about what he’d see next. Rey had been looking at their photo during dinner and he wondered what she saw. Did she see how desperate he’d been?

He swallowed audibly before swiping and sucked in a breath.

She was holding onto him almost as tightly as he was her, like they were both drowning and the only way to stay afloat was to hold onto one another.

He saved the photo.

‘ _Congratulations to Rose and Hux!’_ Rey sent the message with a couple of heart emojis and he smiled a little. Did she save his photos too, like he did hers?

‘ _Thanks for making things so special,’_ Rose replied, ‘ _I really appreciate you guys being there.’_

‘ _Same, we had so much fun.’_ Finn said with a smiley face, ‘ _Poe got us tickets already. Can’t wait to see you guys tomorrow!’_

_‘We should totally get first visit pins for you guys,’_

He read their messages and finally got out of the car.

He hasn’t been this excited for Disneyland since he first went with Padmé when he was seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disneyland chapters tomorrrooooww. <3
> 
> -X


	54. There's Something Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is literally Something There from Beauty and the Beast lol. You'll see why eventually. Or not.
> 
> These series of chapters while they're in Disneyland will be posted for the next couple days because it's detailing a whole day and it's pretty long so please bear with me.
> 
> I would also like to add that there won't be a Galaxy's Edge here because 1. I've never been to Galaxy's Edge so I won't be able to write it properly and 2. Galaxy's Edge literally opened this year and I'm purposely keeping it _not_ 2020 because let's be real, 2020 sucks and we'll all pretend it didn't really happen. 
> 
> -X

Rose was not happy with his outfit. She tapped her foot and frowned at him.

“What?” Ben arched a brow.

“Why aren’t you dressed up?” She asked, pouting a little. She had a giant red ribbon with mouse ears on her head and was wearing some sort of red and black polka-dotted dress with tights and yellow Chucks. It didn’t take a genius to guess that she was dressed up as Minnie Mouse.

He looked at Hux who was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt, a pair of bright red chinos folded to the ankles and shoes that matched his girlfriend’s.

“Mickey Mouse?” He arched a brow at Hux who shrugged.

“Mickey Mouse.” He said almost defeatedly.

Ben looked down at his AC/DC shirt with a frown, “I don’t have anything Disney related.”

“Even a Kylo shirt would do, you know,” Rose was still frowning at him.

“Hey guys! How long have you been waiting?” Poe called out, waving.

“Oh my gosh, you guys look great!” Rose grinned and glanced at Ben with narrowed eyes, “Unlike someone,”

He rubbed the back of his neck and eyed the newly arrived trio.

Of course he’d spot Rey first. He’d be able to spot her in a crowd anywhere.

She wore a bright blue beanie and an equally sunny yellow sweater dress over leggings and a pair of blue Chucks. He frowned, was she supposed to be dressed as character?

He moved on to Poe. That was pretty easy; he was wearing a t-shirt with a big sheriff’s badge on the chest underneath his brown leather jacket so he assumed he was dressed as Woody.

Finn though, who was he supposed to be? He looked pretty much the same as he always did with his teal zip-up jacket lined with pink, black pants and sneakers. He eyed the colourful things stuck on Finn’s wiry curls and wondered what the fuck was he supposed to be?

“You look confused,” Rey grinned and he looked away, a little embarrassed at being caught staring.

“Just trying to figure out if you’re dressed as a character or…” He shrugged, “You look cute though.”

She flushed and looked away but not before he saw her smile a little.

“Ugh, she’s obviously Joy.” Rose said, “We really need to get you updated on these newer Disney movies.”

Poe threw his arm around Rey’s shoulder, “What about me?” He asked, grinning.

Ben scowled, “Woody obviously. That show’s been your favourite since it came out when you were, what, six, seven?”

Poe gaped a little, “Holy shit, Solo. I thought you never liked me?”

“I don’t.” He said drily.

“How’d you know that?” Finn asked, blinking, “I mean even I didn’t know that.”

“He used to follow me around asking me for a piggyback ride and saying there’s a snake in his boot.” He muttered, “Always wanted to be a cowboy or some shit.”

Rey turned to Poe who was suddenly red in the face, “Jesus, Solo. You didn’t have to tell them that,”

“Oh I remember this,” Hux said, “He used to keep trying to get you to play with him.”

“Shut up, Hugs.”

Ben turned too Finn, “So, who are you supposed to be?”

Finn grinned, “Vanellope von Schweetz,”

He scowled, “ _Who_?”

“She’s from Wreck-It Ralph,” Hux sighed, “Rose and I watched it in the movies.”

“We really should have a marathon,” Rose said, laughing a little, “Come on, let’s go in already,”

They waited for Poe to claim their tickets.

“We should’ve watched Disney+ instead of Netflix,” Rey said, smiling up at him.

“Maybe we wouldn’t have fallen asleep, huh?” She giggled and he wanted to hear it again.

“Here you go!” Poe came bounding back and handed them their tickets, “You get the stormtrooper one,” He said, shoving the ticket in his hands, “Rey can get Daisy.”

“What do you two have?” Rey asked and Poe showed her Pluto and Mickey.

“Let’s go, already, I wanna try Dole Whips.” Finn said, “I thought you do too, Rey Bey?”

“I do,” Rey laughed. Ben had no idea what the fuck Dole Whips are but if she wanted to try it, then so did he.

They entered the park and the ticket checker did a double take when he handed his. He gave him a tight smile and the guy cleared his throat and let him in.

Strangely enough he was mostly ignored by the visitors in the park. It was a good feeling, being anonymous even for a little bit. He relaxed, determined to enjoy the day with his friends.

They went to the building marked City Hall first to get pins for Rey and Finn. Some people gave them surprised looks but they didn’t react strangely or ask anything. Disney must have really good training for their cast members.

They didn’t wear the pins; Rey kept hers in her backpack.

“Oh, hold on.” Rose grabbed Rey and rushed to a booth selling Mickey ear hats. A few moments later they came back.

Rey was holding a blue cap of some sort with Mickey ears. She smiled up at him sweetly and he realised that she had every intention of putting the stupid thing on him.

“Please?” Her smile widened and she blinked a few times. He felt his cheek twitch a little and his face flush.

“Christ.” He mumbled and leaned down to let her put it on him. The elastic snapped under his chin a little and he winced.

Rose cackled and snapped a few pictures.

Rey grinned, “Thank you, _daddy_.” She whispered and his eyes widened as he sucked in a breath.

She winked and flounced away.


	55. But He was Mean and He was Coarse and Unrefined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay Ben wasn't really _mean_ but there are moments. 
> 
> -X

What had gotten into her?

She’d called him Daddy and made him blush.

Maybe it was because she barely slept the night before. She wasn’t sure if she was excited for Disneyland, Finn’s proposal or seeing Ben again. She’d replayed their kiss over and over in her mind and stared at their picture for longer than she cared to admit. She’d added the photo in her growing album of photos with Ben and she hoped nobody would notice.

They stopped in front of Walt Disney and Mickey’s statue and took an obligatory photo.

“Come on, you two _have_ to take a photo.” Rose pulled on Rey and Ben’s arms, “And you _have_ to post it.”

Hux and Poe were already nodding, “You’re supposed to be friends,” Hux said, “And it’s good for both of your careers if people keep talking.”

“Gimme your phone Rey Rey,” Rey gave her phone to Rose and stood next to Ben awkwardly.

“You two look so stiff,” Finn said, frowning, “Come on, guys.”

Ben ran his fingers through his hair and sighed a little.

“Maybe a selfie would be better,” Poe mumbled and Rose frowned before returning the phone back to Rey.

Rey shifted uncomfortably, “I mean, we don’t have to,” She said. She liked being friends; she didn’t really _need_ to use their friendship for anything other than that, right?

His lip twitched up a little before he leaned close and put his arm around her shoulders. She flushed, “Take the photo, sweet thing,” He murmured close to her ear. Her face grew hotter, “Don’t forget to smile.” He was getting back at her for using the D-word on him, she was sure of it.

She raised her phone and snapped the picture, Walt Disney and Mickey standing behind them and they looked pretty happy.

She’ll wait until tonight to post it in case people suddenly pop up because they were there. You never really know.

They moved on, down Main Street, avoiding the trams that came and went, and took a few photos with Fairy Godmother.

Then they arrived in front of the pale pink castle.

“It’s smaller than I thought,” Finn said but brought out his phone anyway to take photos.

She did too, at least, until Rose started waving her arms around wildly. Her eyes were wide and she was motioning to Poe who’d gone up a little to the side, behind Finn. His hand was in his pocket.

Rey gasped silently and grabbed Ben’s arm, “Oh my God, take a video. I’ll take photos,” He looked puzzled but complied anyway.

 _Finn_ was supposed to propose in Frontierland. They were _supposed_ to go there first, _after_ they’d seen the castle.

Poe got on his knees and cleared his throat.

Rose and Hux were moving around subtly, trying to get a better angle.

“Hm?” Finn turned and his eyes widened, “Babe?”

People were stopping and staring. They didn’t care.

“I love you, Finn.” Poe said in his clear baritone, “And I don’t want to live without you. Ever. Will you marry me?”

Finn made a soft keening sound and laughed a little, “Christ, Poe.” He said, “You _always_ ruin my plans,” Poe blinked, confusion making his face contort.

“So…you won’t?” A flush was blooming on Poe’s cheeks.

Finn laughed again and stuck his hand into his jean pocket and dropped to his knees too.

Poe gaped.

Rey could hear the awing around them and she giggled a little, moving so that both men are clearly seen with the castle as their backdrop.

“I was going to ask _you_.” Finn said and Poe laughed too, “I love you too, babe.” He gave Poe a peck and slid the simple platinum band on Poe’s finger. Poe’s hands were shaking as he slid the other ring onto Finn’s.

There were some clapping and Rey grinned. They stared in each others’ eyes and smiled like the world had stopped around them.

They didn’t move from that spot and Rey realised belatedly that Ben did not move from his spot either. He looked so confused and was clearly a shit videographer.

The newly-engaged couple stood and grinned at each other, holding hands.

“Here you go,” An elderly crew member wearing white and holding a camera handed her a PhotoPass with a smile, “You can see and buy the photos online or in our stores in Main Street.”

“Thank you,” Rey grinned. The photographer congratulated Poe and Finn before moving on, “Congratulations, guys!” She gave both of them a hug, “Poe! I can’t believe you! Finn was so ready to pop the question in Frontierland.”

Poe laughed, “Sorry, guess I surprised everyone, huh? When Hugs proposed last night I had this revelation,”

“Wait, so you weren’t planning on it?” Rose approached them.

“I was!” Poe said, “But not here. And then I remembered it’s his first time coming here and I thought why the hell not? I had no idea you were planning something,” He smiled at his boyfriend and gave him a kiss, “Sorry, babe.”

Finn shook his head and sighed, “You always find a way to ruin my plans.” Then he grinned, “You’re lucky I love you.”

Ben approached to congratulate them.

“Dole Whips?” He asked, “My treat,”

“Ah, my man!” Finn grinned.

“Hey, we literally just proposed to each other!” Poe actually pouted.

“But I mean, Dole Whips.”

Rey giggled, “Come on,”

“Oh but we should take a photo first!” Rose said, “To commemorate the event!”

They shuffled closer together with Poe and Finn at the middle raising their hands to show their rings while Rose took a selfie.

Then they made their way to Adventureland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I really did that; 2 engagements in 2 days. Ben should really up his game. 
> 
> -X


	56. But Now He's Dear, and So Unsure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three today just because. This last bit's pretty short though. PS Dole Whips are bomb; I hear it's even better with tajin powder but I never did figure out where to get some in the park.
> 
> Also there would be some spoilers about the rides in Disneyland here. 
> 
> -X

Dole Whips were strange things. Ben wasn’t sure if he liked it but Rey was on to her second and he knew she didn’t like the cold. Yet here she was, having some sort of pineapple smoothie with ice cream on top.

As promised he bought everyone’s Dole Whips. Even in the dead of winter people lined up for the treat.

Rose had taken charge of their little group and led them first to Tarzan’s Treehouse and then on the Jungle Cruise. He didn’t mind following them around. It was slow and pleasant, almost like a vacation minus the hippos and the fire.

Then Rose led them into Indiana Jones Adventure.He’d watched the Indiana Jones movies with Han before whenever he had the time so he was pretty excited when they actually got inside. They waited in line for a good half an hour but he didn’t mind.

They got on a jeep-looking thing and the bar was pressed down low on their laps.

The ride itself started out fine. He saw an animatronic Indiana Jones that resembled his father so much his chest ached.

That’s when things went downhill.

There was a lot of sharp turns and fire and hissing and he had no idea what was going on. It was jerky and bumpy and the lights made him dizzy. Rey, who was sitting next to him, was living for it. He saw another Indiana Jones animatronic robot hanging from a hole on the roof and a gigantic boulder rolled towards them very much like the traps in the movies.

They backed a bit before plunging down and his heart leapt to his throat. Holy fuck.

And then it was over.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

Rose said the ride was _tame_.

He rubbed the back of his neck and stumbled out of the vehicle.

Indiana Jones always reminded him of Han.

“That was so fun!” Rey said and turned to him. Her eyes were twinkling, “Right, Ben?”

He gave her a tight smile, “Yup.” His voice sounded strained even in his own ears. She grinned.

They proceeded to Frontierland and stopped in front of the sign take a group picture. Just as Rose was about to take the photo, Poe shouted, “There’s a snake in my pants!”

Ben was stunned.

Finn snorted.

Rose cackled.

Hux sighed.

Rey laughed so hard she almost cried.

Then, Poe went _wild_ and dragged everyone to Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Like Indiana Jones, it started out nice and slow, and then it wasn’t. It even went backwards.

And that was when Ben realised that he fucking hated rollercoasters.

Son of a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all caught that Indiana Jones joke (or is it even considered a joke?) I found Ben's thought process there funny. Hehe. 
> 
> -X
> 
> edit: I MEANT 'REFERENCE' (thank you to OnePoet because I totally forgot the word 'reference'. English isn't actually my first language lol)


	57. I Wonder Why I Didn't See it There Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disneyland's Turkey legs are great and I don't know why. What _do_ they put in those? I don't even like poultry.
> 
> -X

They’d gone straight on to Fantasyland, through the castle of course, after taking about a million pictures. Both Hux and Poe were adamant that they should post pictures tonight.

They managed to get a small table at the Red Rose Taverne and Poe slipped out to get them turkey legs and Hux volunteered to order for everyone.

Rey got a classic 1/3-pound cheeseburger and poutine to share with everyone, and of course, the Grey Stuff. Ben, as expected, ordered the Beast’s Forbidden Burger.

Poe came back with their turkey legs and Rey grinned when he handed her one.

“Here you go, you little monster.” He said.

“What? Rides make me hungry,” She chomped on it and moaned, “This is so good,”

Rose and Finn ran to help Hux with their food and they came back with three trays loaded with food and drink.

“Christ, we look like we’re feeding an army,” Poe did a double take.

“With my star and your starlet, you never know,” Hux said and sat heavily on the chair.

They stayed there for a while, chatting, laughing and forwarding the pictures they’ve taken in their group chat so everyone can have a copy. It was nice. Rey loved the food and how noisy the place was. It almost felt like they were just a normal group of friends having fun at Disneyland.

At least, until two women, one with blonde hair and one with mermaid hair, approached.

“You’re Ben Solo!” The blonde just about shouted and she felt Ben stiffen next to her, “Oh my God! Can we take a picture and get an autograph?”

He was scowling.

“No.” He grunted and she looked at him, surprised. He continued eating his burger.

“Aw, but,” The one with the colourful hair pouted, “Just a picture then?”

Ben looked up and the look in his eyes could’ve frozen the sun, “I said no. If you haven’t noticed, we’re eating.”

“Sorry ladies,” Hux finally said, trying to placate the two, “We’re just here to relax and have fun. Ben doesn’t want his picture taken as of this time.”

The one with the colourful hair was nodding but the blonde scowled, “We just want _one_ picture and who asked you?”

Hux stiffened as well and Rey stared in wonder as his eyes flashed. He stood, “Ladies, I suggest you move away and stay away. As his manager I can and _will_ use my connections to get you thrown out and blacklisted from here.” Could he, really? Ben continued to eat calmly, ignoring the scene unfolding in front of them.

“You can’t do that,” Her scowl deepened, “This is a public place and he’s a public figure. I can take photos if I want,”

“He’s also a human being whose rights you are currently violating. If you don’t leave now you will be charged with harassment.”

“Let’s just go,” The other one whispered, “It’s fine,”

“No. How come these nobodies can hang out and take a picture of him and we can’t?” She gestured towards Rey who was sitting next to Ben.

Poe scowled and stood too, roughly, “Excuse me, that is _my_ star you’re insulting now.”

Ben stopped eating and put his burger down.

Then he stood, “Get the fuck away from us.” He said. Rey shivered at the menacing tone that dripped from his voice, “And stay the fuck away from me and my friends.”

She faltered and her friend begged her to just leave it and not make a scene.

“I am so sorry,” The one with the colourful hair said, “We’re just really big fans,”

“No. You’re just a bunch of entitled brats.” Ben sneered, “Just because I’m an actor doesn’t mean you’re entitled to take my photo or harass me for one even after I’ve said no. No means fucking no.”

The blonde made a frustrated sound and turned around, stomping away. The other girl apologised again before running after her friend.

Hux frowned at Ben, “I could’ve handled it. Now they’re probably going to post about it or something,”

“You’re too slow.” Ben sat back down and went back to his burger.

Poe sat back too and sighed, “Don’t worry we’ll just drown it out tonight with pictures and if anyone complains you have to reply,”

“Me?” Ben arched a brow.

“Yes, you. You have to reply and say your side of the story. Like Terry Crews.”

Hux sighed too and nodded, “Well, that does put a bit of damper on our otherwise lovely day,”

“Just forget it happened,” Finn shrugged, “I mean we can still enjoy ourselves.”

Rose nodded, “Finn’s right. Now hurry up and eat I want to go check out the shop,”

They finished eating their meals and promptly forgot about the incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actors are humans too but I know some people feel entitled to their video/picture/autograph. That's being a shitty human.
> 
> -X


	58. She Glanced This Way, I Thought I Saw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how we usually go around in Disneyland; we end up in Tomorrowland last. We don't actually spend a whole day there though I'd love to (and also spend 2 days with the park hopper ticket). I actually do spend Christmas in Disneyland too lol it's always fun if not crowded. My cousin says the ticket prices have gone up though *sad*
> 
> -X

“No.” Ben grunted and Rey looked so forlorn. He sighed, “Do you _really_ want me to ride on that thing with you?”

She grinned, flashing him her dimples, “Yes! I always wanted to ride a carousel and Finn and Poe are already trying out hats with Rose and Hux.”

Ben sighed. The two of them had volunteered to get popcorn in those souvenir containers for everyone. So the two of them stood outside the shop holding an assortment of popcorn containers and getting curious looks from children and adults alike.

“Holy shit when you said everyone I didn’t think you’d mean literally everyone,” Finn and Poe came out first, both wearing mouse-ear hats that said ‘Happily Ever After’.

Ben shrugged.

“We didn’t know which containers you want,” Rey said, “So Ben got one of each for both of you,”

“You live together anyway,” He shrugged and handed them a Darth Vader helmet bucket and a Santa Mickey one.

“We’re going to ride the carousel,” Rey said, “So I’m going to go line up.” She grinned and handed him the rest of the containers before bouncing away to line up for the carousel.

“Do any of you want to ride with her?” He asked as Rose and Hux came out.

“Ride what?” Rose asked. She was holding a plastic bag and Ben passed them their popcorn.

“Rey asked Ben to ride the carousel with her,” Poe grinned in between scooping handfuls of popcorn in his mouth, “I think it’d be cute.”

“Definitely, I made Armie ride with me too the first time we came,”

Hux sighed.

“We should ride too,” Finn said, “Oh but who’ll take care of the popcorn,” He frowned, “Never mind, you go. Rey’s never ridden one before, not even in Hyde Park during Winter Wonderland.”

Ben ran his fingers through his hair and handed them his and Rey’s buckets.

He must _really_ like her.

Oh, but who was he kidding, really? Of course he did. He liked her very much.

He marched towards the ride in question and quietly asked people to move so he get to her. She glanced up and smiled brightly when he found her.

“Isn’t that…?” He heard a whisper behind him. He sighed and braced himself for people to ask.

Surprisingly they left him be save for a few whispers and looks.

The line _crawled_.

Usually he hated waiting but with her, he didn’t mind.

“Have you ever been here before?” She asked.

“Disneyland?” She nodded, “Twice.” She looked at him expectantly with such wide eyes and he finally understood what his father felt whenever he looked at his mother. He was so fucked. “The first time I was seven. My grandma brought me when we came to visit my parents. It wasn’t as big then and I don’t really remember much.” He gave her a wry smile, “But I remember it being really happy. My grandpa had just passed then and grandma was…” He shrugged, “He was the love of her life.”

“Oh,” She touched his arm briefly.

“But she _was_ happy that day.” He flashed her a brief smile, “The next time I came I was already a teen. My parents brought me. You could imagine the fuss I made. I was at that age when I didn’t want to go to Disneyland with my parents.” He chuckled, “What a fucking loser, right?” Then he sighed and his smile turned rueful, “I wish I wasn’t such a prick.”

“Regret’s at the end, huh?” She gave him a small smile and he wanted to lean down and kiss her.

He didn’t.

“How many people?” The cast member asked and did a double-take when Ben loomed behind her.

“Just two, please,” Rey said brightly and the lady let them in. She grabbed his hand in her rush to find a horse to ride.

She settled on one with a pretty pink and red rose and golden bells running down the side. Ben sat on the one directly next to hers.

It moved. Very slowly. Rey was looking around and he smiled, “We should take a picture,” He said and he was blinded by the smile she gave him.

He hopped off the all-to-small horse and leaned on hers. She pulled out her phone and smiled at the camera. The horse moved up and down but even when she was at its highest, Ben was still taller than her.

“What are you staring at?” She asked, tucking her hair back and looking away with a flush, “Do I have something on my face?”

“You’re pretty,” He said and went back to his horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something not a roller coaster! Yay!
> 
> And yes the one she rode is Jingles.
> 
> -X


	59. There May Be Something There That Wasn't There Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three today because ~pacing~. We are nearing 100 pages on a doc file (Arial 10) and this might be the longest fan fiction I've ever written wow! The previous one I've written and posted online (has it _really_ been six years?!) was 48 pages so thank you all for keeping me going and reading!
> 
> -X

Rey loved the parade.

She sat at the very front on the street with Rose and Finn while the others sat behind them. It was a Christmas parade, Rose explained, different from the usual Disneyland parade.

Still, Rey loved it. She sang along with the songs on the parade and grinned at the performers. Maybe if her career didn’t pan out the way she wanted she’d quit and work as a Disney princess instead. She can sing and dance.

“You want a drink?” Ben murmured in her ear and she almost jumped. She turned a little, and drew back when her nose bumped into his. When did he get so close? She couldn’t breathe and her heart was pounding so loudly she couldn’t hear the parade anymore, “Rey?” She could still feel his mouth on hers and she turned away quickly, focusing back on the parade.

“No—no, thank you.” She stuttered, “Maybe we can get after. I could really use some coffee,”

“Okay.” He moved back again and she let out the breath she’d been holding.

He really was _not_ good for her heart.

Something had changed since last night and she couldn’t place what it was. There was a level of comfortableness that wasn’t there before. _There may be something there that wasn’t there before._

But had there really been _nothing_ before?

“Rey, Rose,” She turned to Finn who was holding up his phone, “Scoot closer Solo, Hugs.”

He snapped the pic with a grin, the parade in their background and promptly sent it in their group chat.

The parade ended with a large crowd walking behind some sort of cord and she stood and stretched.

“Coffee?” Ben asked and she smiled.

“Please,”

He looked a little taken aback. He flushed, coughed and looked away, “We’re getting coffee,” He said, “I think I saw a Starbucks on Main Street,”

“Great! Let’s go,” Poe wrapped his arm around Finn’s shoulder and grinned, “You’re buying,”

Ben rolled his eyes but didn’t comment.

“We’re riding It’s a Small World next,” Rose said and Hux groaned.

“What’s the matter, Hugs?” Poe arched a brow.

“Those dolls are fucking creepy,” Hux sighed, “But if you want,”

Rose grinned.

“Whipped, that’s what you are,” Poe snickered and Hux scowled.

“And you aren’t?” He arched a brow.

“Well, I mean, he’s not wrong,” Finn said and Poe flushed.

“Point taken,” He mumbled.

Rey snorted back a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I love how my Hux is turning out he's so sweet.
> 
> -X


	60. She's Never Looked At Me That Way Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the lyrics are out of order but whatever. Thank to all the wonderful comments! And as much as I'd love to include everything this is a Reylo fic and not a Disneyland appreciation fic *sad* but I hope I give it justice lol.
> 
> -X

They’d ridden a boat inside the It’s a Small World ride. He really stuck out; most of the riders were children and he got more than a few odd looks while they were lined up and no matter how much he wanted to hide, he couldn’t. Not with his six-foot-three height.

Hux was right though, the dolls _were_ a bit creepy. By the time they came out the sun was setting and the light show right outside started.

They’d lingered to watch it though if someone were to ask him, he wouldn’t be able to say what it was exactly that happened. He was too busy watching the lights play on Rey’s cheeks and memorising the wonder in her eyes.

Then they’d moved on. Poe insisted on riding the Matterhorn Bobsled ride _twice_ since there were apparently two different ways, one faster than the other.

And his hatred for roller coasters and Poe Dameron increased exponentially.

“Please tell me there aren’t any more roller coasters,” He grumbled and Rey looked heartbroken, “What?”

“There’s one more,” She said, “Hyperspace Mountain. I always wanted to ride that one,”

Ben rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “I guess one more won’t hurt.” He mumbled.

They’d walked into Tomorrowland and he froze.

His face was _everywhere_.

“Jesus Christ.” Everywhere he turned he saw himself in posters and banners. Did his nose really look that big? People stopped and stared much more, doing double-takes and looking at the Kylo Ren posters and back at him. He cringed.

“Let’s do Star Tours first!” Finn said, almost bouncing with excitement. Rey was grinning, “I want to be the traitor,”

“Me too!” Rey said with a laugh, “Let’s go,” They didn’t seem to notice the predicament Ben found himself in.

“Isn’t that _Kylo Ren_?” Someone whispered and he groaned a little, looking down and half-covering his face with his hand.

They made their way to the ride and Hux produced FastPasses for all of them.

Ben could appreciate the detail that went into the waiting area, after all, he’d been part of the franchise himself.

They passed through the different sectors where cruisers and speeders were being ‘repaired’, while they waited for their turn to ride.

_Star Tours is now offering convenient daily departures to the exotic Moon of Endor._

They passed by the G2-4T droid that served as the immigration officer and he was fucking hilarious.

They moved forward to the docking area and entered the speeder. They settled into their seats at the very back, belted in and everything.

The doors closed, they wore the plastic glasses provided and the show started. Their destination was supposedly Endor. Ben found it amusing. What would Endor look like post-production? He didn’t watch the movies.

‘ _…the captain isn’t on board.’_ The large screen opened like it was a window.

Then, he appeared. At least, _Kylo Ren_ did. Ben stiffened in his seat and cringed. He remembered shooting this scene; he’d thought it was for a teaser trailer or a commercial.

 _‘Stop right there,’_ His voice sounded strange on screen, kind of warbled, _‘I know you have a spy on board,’_ He sunk a bit lower in his seat and Rey glanced at him, flashing him an amused grin,

 _‘They’re a spy, and a traitor!’_ He stared at the screen on the side, horrified when his bored face flashed on it.

Rey sounded like she choked a little trying to stifle her laughter and fucking Poe just outright burst out laughing. His cringe turned into a scowl. People were looking around and taking pictures of the tiny screen that showed a black and white photo of himself.

“Come on, Solo, it’s _funny_.” Finn whispered. How did he even end up in between Finn and Rey?

The speeder jerked back a couple of times as he, that is, K _ylo_ , held it back with the Force.

 _‘You’re no match for the power of the Dark Side!’_ Ben wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Why did he agree to this ride?

They’d jerked back out of port and entered light-speed.

They landed in the water. He recognised the set of Kef Bir and winced when the speeder roiled with the ocean. He felt a little sick, really. Then they were attacked by a bunch of Dianoga before they managed to fly off the planet.

This was worse than actually filming his scenes in the movies.

They’d entered light-speed again, and landed smack in the middle of a battle. Exegol, if he wasn’t mistaken. The speeder shuddered and jerked and all of a sudden they had blasters. Did Starspeeders always have them? He wasn’t sure.

He winced again when they shot down a Star Destroyer.

He has always been partial to the Dark Side.

And then they went light-speed and crash landed into the Spaceport.

Then it was over.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“That was fucking hilarious,” Poe said, laughing, “I got pictures. Christ, Solo, didn’t you know what we were riding?”

Ben tried to run his fingers through his hair, forgetting that he was still wearing the stupid mouse-ear hat.

“He’s right,” Rose cackled, “And then _you_ were the traitor?”

“It _is_ him!” Someone behind them whispered excitedly and he groaned a little when the group approached.

They had a kid with them who was looking up at him. He was wearing a Kylo Ren costume.

“Look, Adam, it’s the real Kylo Ren,” He assumed it was his mom.

He gave them a tight smile and crouched in front of the kid, “Supreme Leader,” He told him seriously, “Everything is going as planned, nobody has realised that you have infiltrated the den of spies.” 

The kid blinked at him and grinned. Ben winked before standing, “Stay in school, kid.” They waved at the small family and left.

Once they were outside in the connected store, Rey started giggling.

“What?”

“‘ _Stay in school, kid,’”_ She tried to emulate his voice and tone, “You’re so cheesy,” Her eyes were twinkling. He wanted to keep her smiling like this forever.

Her smile faltered and a flush stole to her cheeks. He realised he’d been staring too long and cleared his throat, “We should try building you a lightsaber,” He said, pointing at a large booth with various lightsaber parts.

He helped her build a nice yellow one because of course her favourite colour would be yellow. He wasn’t surprised.

They met up outside to make their way to Hyperspace Mountain.

He grimaced and eyed the imposing building. One last roller coaster.

“You don’t have to ride with us,” Rey said and he frowned at her, “You look like you’re about to go into battle,”

“I’m fine,” He grunted. He would ride. For her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter was a bit of a challenge to write because of Star Tours. I literally wrote _'... a traitor to the First Order.'_ and was like oh wait, that's his agency. Shit.
> 
> -X


	61. There's Something In Him That I Simply Didn't See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that out of all the rides in Disneyland, my favourite would probably be Space Mountain and Star Tours followed by the Haunted Mansion and the Matterhorn Bobsleds. I can make do without riding the others but I really, really, must ride Space Mountain and Star Tours. Maybe that will change once I do manage to go back and see Galaxy's Edge?
> 
> Also only 2 today :< see you tomorrow!
> 
> -X

Ben was cute. Rey suppressed a giggle at his resolute expression. He was trying so hard. She saw how he looked after they’d ridden Indiana Jones and Big Thunder Mountain, and again on the Matterhorn.

But he was trying and that was cute.

Maybe it was his age. He and Hux were the oldest of the bunch, being ten years her senior. Maybe he really wanted to get along with everyone.

He looked at her curiously when she approached a street sweeper to ask for a sticker. She gave him a Disney fun fact and he handed her two Mickey Mouse stickers. She smiled.

“Sticker?” He arched a brow and she flushed.

“I like stickers,” She said, stuffing it into the little baggie she’d been stashing them in. She’d been asking for stickers everywhere very discreetly so nobody would notice.

“Oh, Rey’s always loved stickers,” Finn said, “She has a cookie tin full of them.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t sure what he thought, his face was a carefully blank mask. Was it weird that she liked stickers at her age? “You should’ve said so, sweet thing.” His eyes softened and his voice lowered an octave and a shiver ran down her spine, “I would’ve helped you ask for them.”

Rey looked down and flushed, “It’s okay, they’re mostly the same stickers anyway.”

They lined up for the ride and Ben’s grimace became more evident as they neared the entrance.

“You really don’t have to ride with us,” She said, “You can wait in Pizza Planet?”

He scowled, “Nope. I’m riding.”

She giggled, “Are you sure? You’re looking a little green around the gills,”

His scowl deepened and he marched forward determinedly, “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” She chuckled.

They waited for another forty minutes.

Ben, of course, was seated next to her. The six of them occupied the first car of the train. He was gripping the handlebars tightly.

“It’s not too late,” She couldn’t help but tease and he scowled. The train moved, “Never mind, too late.”

They moved to the loading area and she sat back, almost buzzing with excitement. The reddish lights around them was almost menacing. Ben’s knuckles were almost white and she grinned. The Star Wars opening theme started playing as they moved to the blast-off point. They inched up slowly but the stars around them were moving faster as they achieved light-speed. TIE fighters zoomed in front of them and then they were upright again, like they were cruising in space. There was a projection of Kylo’s Star Destroyer as they moved through the tracks, still pretty slow, and then they jerked sideways, _evasive manoeuvres._

“Son of a _bitch_.” Ben hissed next to her and she laughed, raising her arms as they curved and tilted and _fell_. Blasters were shooting around them and she laughed again.

They went up again, quickly, before free falling again in an almost circular pattern. She heard Ben curse again.

Then they were back into the light tube, on the way back to the start of the ride. She raised her hands and grinned as the camera flashed.

“Oh my god, I want to do that again,” She said. Ben stumbled out and groaned.

“Right? It never gets old, I swear. It’s like my favourite ride in the whole park. We should get the photo too.” Rose said, linking her arm around Rey’s, “Are you alright, Ben?” She arched a brow.

Ben groaned again and rubbed his face, “Let’s just get out of here,”

Rey snorted back a laugh.

Ben Solo was really, very cute.


	62. Well Who'd Have Thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to cut this into two but then I realised they're way too short on their own and there really wasn't any narrator change.
> 
> -X

The pizza and fusilli pasta wasn’t nearly enough. Ben was still hungry as shit and he was pretty sure Rey would be to.

“It’s no Andor’s that’s for sure,” Rose said, chewing on her pepperoni pizza, “But it’s okay I guess.”

“It’s food,” Finn shrugged, eating his second slice of pizza, “We should hurry though the light parade’s going to start soon.”

They finished quickly and made their way out of Tomorrowland to find a spot to watch the parade.

The lights were shut off. It started out with Christmas songs. Like the daytime parade, it was a Christmas special instead of the usual. The performers were wearing neon lights and his head started pounding. All the lights and sounds was making his a little nauseous and it didn’t help that he was still so very hungry.

Rey looked enthralled though. He didn’t think anyone would notice if he slips away for a bit.

He took note of their place and struggled out of the crowd to make his way back to Tomorrowland. He saw a cart selling churros and he approached it, thankful that there was no line.

The guy at the booth did a double take when he saw him.

“I’d like two churros please,” He said, “No chocolate. And two coffees,”

He got them the souvenir cups. His lip twitched up when the guy asked if he wanted the blue or the red churros. He got both and paid.

“Thanks,” It even came with a lightsaber hilt carton, “Oh, do you have stickers?”

“Stickers?” He blinked and shuffled around, a little flustered. He must be new, “Here,” He handed Ben the whole roll.

“Uh, thanks.” He went back; the parade was still going and he tapped Rey’s shoulder. She jerked slightly and looked up, surprised. He handed her the blue churro and her eyes widened before she grinned.

“Churros!” She said, “And you got me coffee too?” Her eyes sparkled, “Thank you!”

“Hey, where’s ours?” Poe frowned and Ben scowled.

“Fuck off, Dameron. Get your own.” He gave Ben a sad little moue and nudged Finn who then nudged Rose. The three of them shared a look.

Ben felt like there was suddenly _three_ versions of Rose.

Rey didn’t seem to notice. She watched the parade while nibbling on her churro and getting blue sugar all over her mouth.

He bet she’d taste just as sweet.

Heat rose to his cheeks and he grimaced.

—

They’d somehow ended up in front of the castle. Ben had glowered at the people trying to get closer. He was way too tall; he was sure he was blocking people’s views but he didn’t really care.

Rose said the fireworks was a very important part of the Disneyland experience. He doesn’t remember watching fireworks before.

They waited as the lights were shut off again. Even the castle was dark. Rey was _buzzing_ next to him. When the display started, he recognised Mickey’s voice.

It was like a mishmash of Disney clips and songs interspersed by dancing lights and water and fire.

Nostalgia trickled in slowly, making his heart ache. Disappointment weighed on him. The day was almost over and he finally understood why Disneyland was called the most magical place on earth.

He had _fun_.

Poe and Finn were making out to the side and Rose and Hux were in each others’ arms.

He glanced at the woman next to him. Tears were gathering at the edge of her eyes and they sparkled with the fireworks. His chest grew tight and he swallowed hard.

She was beautiful.

He reached for her cheek and she flushed when he brushed a tear away.

“Go out with me, Rey,” He said softly. He knew she heard because her eyes widened and he felt, rather than heard, her breath hitch. He offered her his hand and he knew she’d recognise the scene, “Please.”

Fireworks exploded above them loudly and she stared at his hand before looking up to meet his eyes. She looked stricken. Maybe he shouldn’t have given in to impulse and asked some other time. Maybe it was too soon.

“Okay,” She breathed and placed her hand, so small, over his. His heart skipped a beat and the tension in his shoulders eased. He pulled her closer and leaned down to capture her lips.

She gasped and he cupped her face with his other hand, angling her face slightly so he could sweep his tongue in her mouth. She whimpered.

She tasted even sweeter than the churros. Her arms went around his neck and he pulled her closer, drawing her up to her toes.

The fireworks and music sounded so far away and for a moment it was like there was nobody else but them.

He held her tight, wondering if she really was brushing her tongue against his hesitantly or if maybe he was dreaming after all.

Multiple fireworks exploded in quick succession and the music peaked. There was a strange hissing sound.

And then it was over.

He pulled away slowly, brushing her swollen lower lip.

She bit her lip and looked down at the level of his throat, a flush on her cheeks.

People were clapping and he released her reluctantly.

Fake snow was floating around them.

“Isn’t that amazing?” Rose grinned at Finn who was nodding, “What do you think Rey?” There was an almost knowing glint in her eyes and Ben was terrified at what she knew. Did she see them just now?

Rey’s flush deepened, “I,” She cleared her throat, “It was nice,”

“You didn’t like it?” Her brows shot up, “No way?”

“No! It was great, I really liked it. I might’ve cried a little,” Rey laughed a little breathlessly.

“Right?” Rose’s grin was huge, “Let’s go to the shops, I want to get more souvenirs,”

He followed behind them. Hux was eyeing him strangely.

“What?” He asked.

Hux shook his head, “Nothing.” He gave him a small smile, “You had fun today?”

Ben’s lip twitched up, “Yeah.”

“That’s good. Lord knows you deserve to relax, at least a little.”

“Just a little?” He arched a brow and Hux laughed.

“Fine, more than a little. You don’t have to be such a prick about it.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

They entered the large store; it looked like multiple stores on the outside but in reality it was just one big one. They all went in separate directions.

He browsed a little until he spied upon a Kylo Ren plushie the size of his hand and another one of Joy. He got both and went outside to wait by the Christmas tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay to be honest, I didn't put a warning on this because I wanted it to be _sort of_ a surprise. Ehehehe. Also madametango is at least sort of right. He did get pizza. No wine though because I have no idea where or how to even get into Club 33. Plus I don't have enough money to actually be a member (nor do I know a member).
> 
> -X


	63. They'd Come Together On Their Own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what a day. But hey, we're moving forward (yay). 
> 
> -X

Rey didn’t get anything. She wanted to of course, but she already had a lot of souvenirs in the form of the popcorn container, cup, pin, stickers _and_ a lightsaber. That was enough.

She went out so she wouldn’t be tempted to get anything.

Ben was sitting on a bench in front of the giant Christmas Tree.

He looked so lonely.

Or maybe she was projecting.

She loved Christmas but it had always been a lonely season for her. All those Christmas songs and warm drinks and spices made her think of the cold and her empty home. Finn already had Poe and Rose and Hux were already a set deal when they met. Now they were all engaged and they’ll get married and eventually have kids.

Where would that leave her?

He spotted her and smiled.

She flushed and approached him.

“You’re not shopping?” He asked, patting the seat next to him.

She sat, careful not to touch, “No, I have enough souvenirs.”

“Did you find anything you like? I’ll get them for you,”

She flushed again and shook her head quickly, “No, it’s fine. I really don’t need a lot and you’ve already treated me to so much.”

He chuckled, “Rey, I only bought you coffee and a churro.”

“And In ’n’ Out, don’t forget.” She gave him a shy smile and his dimples flashed.

“How could I forget?” He murmured. Then he seemed to remember something and fished it out of his jacket pocket, “Here,” He handed her a roll of stickers and she blinked down at it before laughing.

“How did you even get a whole _roll_?”

“I’m a pretty well-known face, sweet thing.” He winked and she laughed again.

“This is amazing, thank you.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anything from the store?”

“I already got a lightsaber,” She said, “It’s enough, I think. And the pictures we took.”

Ben frowned, “Are you sure?”

She laughed, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Silence stretched between them and she shuffled a little. What did he mean when he said ‘go out’? Did he mean go out on a date or be in a relationship with him? Do people go out on dates first and _then_ decide to get into a relationship? Or was it the other way around?

The last date she’d had was a bit of a failure. He’d grown apprehensive when he found out that she was a mechanic and knew cars better than he did.

“What are you thinking?” His voice was a deep rumble, almost like thunder. She shivered a little, “Cold?”

“No,” She said, flushing, “Just, um, thinking. Today was really fun.”

“We can come back,” _Just the two of_ us. He offered and she looked at him before smiling.

“I’d like that,”

He smiled too.


	64. New and A Bit Alarming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I expected more reaction from the kiss than the dolls but wow I didn't think the dolls would be a bigger hit lol
> 
> -X

Ben offered to take Rey home. She’d ridden with Finn and Poe but they were newly engaged and he was sure they’d want to go home as soon as possible.

Besides, he really wanted to talk to her and make sure she knew what she was getting into with him.

“Thank you,” Rey said as she slid into his car, “You really didn’t have to,”

He ran his fingers through his hair; he’d finally taken off the hat, “Rey, it’s no problem.”

“I don’t want to bother you,” She said and he gave her a small smile before taking her hand.

“I like spending time with you.” He said, squeezing her hand and bringing it to his lips. She flushed, “You want take out or something? In ’n’ Out? Taco Bell? I’m kind of hungry.”

She laughed a little, “Taco Bell sounds good.” He smiled and winked.

“Gotcha,”

They drove in companionable silence to the Taco Bell closest to her apartment. It was about an hour drive from Disneyland to her apartment. She leaned back against the seat comfortably, eyes drooping a little.

“You can sleep a bit, baby girl.” He murmured and she sighed a little, her head lolling against the seatbelt. He smiled.

When they were nearing the drive-thru Taco Bell some forty minutes later, he gently shook her awake, “Rey,” He crooned, “Wake up, sweet thing.” She mumbled a little and moaned. Heat bloomed his cheeks at the sound, “Rey,” He shook her again, harder this time, and she gasped, jerking slightly.

Her eyes were huge when they turned to him, “I fell asleep,” She said. Even in the dim light he could see the flush stealing to her cheeks, “I’m so sorry,”

He smiled and her face turned even redder, “What do you want to order?”

“I don’t know, I’m good with any as long as long as we have Diablo sauce,” She said.

“Six pack Doritos shell?” She nodded and his smile widened. The car crawled towards the speakers and Ben ordered for them, “Drink?”

“I have a jug of iced tea at home,” She said and he nodded.

Like the first time he’d brought her home, the person manning the window’s eyes bugged out and the teen stammered as he handed the bag to him.

“Ca-can I get an autograph? Please?” He asked, still wide-eyed and staring.

Ben handed the brown bag to Rey who looked at him with amusement. He sighed and laughed a little.

“Sure, kid.”

The teen grinned and tore out a piece of paper from somewhere and handed it to him with a pen. Ben signed and was about to return it when he said, “Can Ms. Johnson sign too?” He asked, eyes still wide and hopeful.

Ben looked at her, “Rey?”

She smiled, “Sure,” She said and signed her name under Ben’s. She even drew a bad rendition of a cat with a Santa hat.

But their names looked good signed on the same piece of paper like that.

He handed it back to the kid, “Happy Holidays, kid.”

They drove away.

“That’s probably going on Twitter soon.” Rey said. Ben shrugged.

“It’s Christmas,”

“You didn’t think that earlier today,”

“I was eating and they were being mean.”

She snorted back a laugh.

Fifteen minutes later they were back outside her building. Ben opened the door for her and grabbed her things from the back. She seemed more at ease now compared to last time, not hesitating to let him in.

He went straight to the coffee table to put their box of tacos on it before handing her her plastic bag.

The small plushie he got felt heavy in his jacket pocket.

She brought her plastic bag inside her room and came right back out instead of changing.

She smiled shyly.


	65. All I Want for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short bit but in need of its own chapter. Thanks to Phantom Blaze for the chapter title :) 
> 
> -X

“I’ll get the iced tea,” She said, slipping past him to go to the kitchen. He grabbed her wrist and she looked up, surprised.

“Wait,” He said, “I want…” He swallowed, was he nervous? All of a sudden she was struck by a terrifying thought.

Did he make a mistake earlier? Did he not mean to ask her out and kiss her?

“It’s okay,” She blurted, “I don’t mind if,” She bit her lip before continuing, “If you don’t want to go out after all.”

“What?” He blinked owlishly. How could she not notice how ridiculously long his lashes were? “No, that’s not what I wanted to say.” He cleared his throat, “I wanted…” He swallowed again and looked down, away from her face, “I just wanted to ask you again.” He said, “Will you? Go out with me?” He looked up a little, almost shyly, and she could see the hope and despair reflected in his dark eyes, “Please?”

“Ben,” She breathed and flushed, “I, I mean, yes of course I would.” She chewed on her lip again, “But…”

“But?” His hand tightened around her wrist; it should’ve been painful but to her, it felt more like a comfort. Like he didn’t want to let her go.

“I’m scared,” She whispered.

“I won’t hurt you,” He said.

“I…” She was still chewing on her lip and staring at his large hand around her wrist, “You’re my friend and I don’t…I don’t want to lose you,”

“Rey,” His hand loosened and his other hand cupped her cheek, “Rey, I’ll always _be_ your friend. Whether we’re dating or not, we’ll be friends.”

She looked up then and was struck by the fear and vulnerability in his eyes, like he was scared too, “You promise?”

“Always.” He said thickly, “I promise. Be my girlfriend, Rey. I’m not an easy man to be with but give me a chance to make you happy. Please.”

So that’s what he meant by ‘go out’ after all.

“Okay,” She whispered and he breathed an uneven sigh of relief. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. His shoulders sagged a little.

“I thought you were having second thoughts,” He murmured. His thumb brushed against her lower lip, made sensitive by her incessant chewing. She shivered.

“No,” She croaked, “Not about you,” He opened his eyes and he looked just as lonely and terrified as she was.

And in that moment she knew without a doubt that she loved him.


	66. I Just Want You Here Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three today! I hope I don't catch up to myself though. Might get a bit busy this coming week for Christmas prep but will try to be consistent with the updates. Thanks for understanding :)
> 
> -X

The tacos had gone cold but it was the best damn tacos he’d ever had.

Again, they sat on floor.

Her phone buzzed and she glanced at him nervously before sliding it open.

Of course it was Twitter. As she’d said, a picture of their autographs had gone up on Twitter, creating a buzz.

_What did they order? #GettingSerious #Reylo #TacoTuesdays?_

_OMG what a lucky Christmas! Can I have one too? @That_British_Girl @BenSolo #ReyloForReal? #ChristmasTogether_

_Are you dating??? @That_British_Girl @BenSolo #AllForIt #Reylo #ship #MyHeartCannot_

_No way #babyRey can say no to #DaddySolo! Daddy @BenSolo @That_British_Girl_

He took a sip from his iced tea, watching her face as she browsed the comments. She looked up, “Should I,” He arched a brow, still drinking. Her eyes had that mischievous sheen, “Should I call you ‘Daddy’ now?”

He snorted and almost spilled his drink, “Jesus, Rey.” He coughed a little. He knew he was blushing but he hoped she wouldn’t notice anyway.

“Daddy,” She said in a sing-song voice, “I think it has a nice ring to it,”

He grunted and took another long drink.

“Ben, do you…” She shifted nervously, “Do you actually have a daddy kink?”

He choked again, “Let’s not talk about that tonight, baby girl.”

She grinned and turned back to her phone.

“Poe said we should start posting pictures on Instagram and Twitter,” She said.

His phone buzzed too with the messages on their group chat.

‘ _You don’t have to post anything Solo, just share the things we do.’_ Hux told him. Then there was a small banner announcement that somebody had changed his nickname to ‘ _Daddy_ ’. He scowled but didn’t answer.

“How do you share things?” He asked Rey. She giggled.

“Don’t worry I’ll show you.” She said. She opened up her Instagram account and Ben watched in fascination as she posted some of the pictures they took earlier; one of them was their selfie with Walt Disney and Mickey and the one on the carousel.

She’d captioned it: _Christmas with this bunch!_

Then she moved on to Twitter and it was like a whole new language.

It was the same caption but she’d tagged everyone involved and the words turned blue after she’d added them to the number sign. Hashtags she called them.

Then she opened up Poe’s Twitter page and showed him how to share a photo. Poe had posted a photo of his and Finn’s hands, both of them wearing rings, with the Disney castle in the background.

_Congratulations to my best boys! @FN-2187 @PilotDameron #Congrats #SoProud #Disneyland #ChristmasEngagement_

“Try it,” She said and leaned closer to watch him scroll through the pictures. Rose had posted the photo she took of Rey putting the hat on him. She was smiling at camera. He wasn’t.

_@BenSolo was such a good sport wasn’t he @That_British_Girl?! #DaddySolo #BabyRey #DaddySpoilsBaby #Christmas #Disneyland #Reylo_

He shared that one and turned his phone away from her when he wrote the caption.

“What?” She blinked up at him, “What are you typing?”

He smiled wryly, “Nothin’, sweet thing,”

“Ben,”

“I thought it was Daddy?” He arched a brow and she flushed.

“You know I can just look for it, right?”

“Then go,” His smile widened and he replied on _her_ tweet.

Her phone buzzed and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“You’re cute,” He said and she looked away.

Her phone kept buzzing and she frowned.

Then it rang.

“Holy shit, sunshine,” It was Poe, “Have you seen?” She’d put him on loudspeaker.

“Seen what?” Her frown deepened.

“The thing! Finn just showed me. This is _great._ Solo replied to your tweet. Have you seen it?”

“Obviously she hasn’t,” Ben drawled and there was a brief moment of silence.

“Solo?”

“Dameron,”

“What the fuck are you doing with Rey?”

“Having tacos,”

“What?”

Rey giggled, “Yeah, we stopped to get tacos.”

“No, I mean, yeah I saw _that_ tweet but, what the fuck? At this hour?”

“You’re not my dad Poe,” Rey rolled her eyes, “I am perfectly within my rights to have people over.”

“And shouldn’t you be celebrating with your fiancé right now?” Ben arched a brow and grabbed his third taco, “We should’ve gotten a dozen,”

“Mm, next time,” She mumbled, “I think I still have a fruitcake in the fridge,”

“Seriously, _what_ is going on? And you better not be seen coming out there again tomorrow,”

“I mean we could probably just tell people so it wouldn’t really be news,” Finn finally joined the conversation, “It’s not the first time anyway.”

“Yeah but the paps _just_ started leaving our sunshine alone,”

“You worry too much, Poe.” Rey said, “I’m fine.” She started on the last taco, “I’ll go get the fruitcake,”

“I’ll do it,” Ben said and stood, “Should I get anything else?”

She shook her head and smiled.

Ben made his way to the fridge. Rey didn’t mention their relationship yet. He didn’t think they should anyway, not yet since both sets of their friends just got engaged but that doesn’t mean he can’t drop hints.

His phone rang too, “Phas,”

“Are you trying to imply something?” She demanded, “What happened in Disneyland?”

“Dameron got engaged.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” He snorted back a laugh and brought a knife and the fruitcake back to the living room, “What else?”

“What do you think?” Rey looked up him curiously, “It’s Phasma.”

“Wait, where are you right now?”

“Are you my manager now, Phas?”

“Oh shut up Benjamin. Should I be ready for another shit storm come morning?”

“No, I don’t think so,”

Poe and Finn had hung up and he watched Rey browse through her phone.

He knew the moment she saw his reply from the colour of her cheeks.

“You better know what you’re doing.” Phasma groused, “I haven’t finished all the preparations for _Good Evening, America_ ,”

“We’ll be fine. I’ll keep my head down. Don’t tell anyone,”

“Of course not.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, “Now, why in the world would I think to let it slip that my biggest star is dating a certain rock angel?”

“Metal,”

“Oh whatever,”


	67. Make My Wish Come True

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing as hilarious as what you guys think I think lol but I really like darkside_nuggets hashtags lol. Now if only Daddy Solo knows how to use them.
> 
> -X

_‘I thought_ I _was your best boy?’_ He’d replied to her tweet about the engagement. It was pretty late but she could already see the number of retweets and replies going up. It was Ben Solo’s first actual tweet and it had to be that.

Did he want people to know they were dating? Already? They literally just got together less than an hour ago. Unless of course Disneyland counted?

Things are happening so fast that she was still reeling from it.

“You okay?” As usual his dark voice sent shivers down her spine, “Did I go too far?”

“No,” She squeaked and flushed, turning to face him so he couldn’t see her reply. He arched a brow and she felt so small and even a little guilty, like she was caught doing something she shouldn’t.

She shivered again. She liked it when he teased her.

She kept glancing up to his amused face as she typed her reply. Like he wasn’t sitting right in front of her looking like the very devil himself.

His phone buzzed and his brow rose even higher. He picked it up to check and his lip twitched as he tried and failed not to smile.

 _‘No, you’re best Daddy.’_ She’d replied. Her cheeks felt way too hot so she distracted herself by scrolling some more.

Then she saw his retweet of Rose’s picture of them.

 _Joy incarnate._ That was it; that was the caption. No hashtags, no names, no emojis but very Ben Solo.

People were already asking if they were dating. When would they tell people? They didn’t even tell their friends yet.

“You’re thinking too much again,” He said. He pulled something out from his jacket pocket, “I got you something earlier.”

He dropped it in her cupped hands and she stared at the small Kylo Ren plushie. She giggled, “Thank you, you shouldn’t have.”

He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, “You wanna watch something?”

“Disney,” She said and he made a face, “Your knowledge of Disney movies is severely lacking,”

“Alright, you choose then. And just so we’re clear, I have every intention of staying the night.”

She blinked and heat rose to her cheeks again, “Oh.” She’s blushed so much she wasn’t sure how she wasn’t dizzy with how much her blood was moving around her body.

“Unless you don’t want me to,”

“I do,” She said quickly, “But tomorrow…”

“Tell them I’ll bring you over to mom’s.”

“Okay but… your clothes?”

He arched a brow, “Didn’t I say that I’ll bring clothes next time?” She flushed, “I’ll go get my stuff. You choose a movie,”

“Yes, Daddy,” He stumbled a little on the way out and she giggled.

—

Rey handed him his present when he came back with his gym bag.

“Merry Christmas,” She said shyly, “I wasn’t sure what to get you,”

He accepted it with a dimpled smile, “I’m sure it’s great. Thank you.” He opened his bag and fished out a large box, “Not really good at wrapping things but,” He shrugged, “Merry Christmas, Rey.”

“Should I open this now?” He was still smiling.

She flushed and shrugged, “It’s up to you,” He dropped his bag and tucked her hair behind her ear.

He opened the gift delicately, like it was made of glass. Or a bomb. He didn’t tear the wrapping like she’d expected. His smile spread across his face slowly, “Thank you,” He said, pulling out the maroon checkered cashmere scarf.

“It’s not much,” She mumbled, fidgeting with the wrapped box in her hands.

“Just the fact that you got me something is enough,” He said and she flushed again, “Are you going to open yours?”

She went to sit on the couch and tried not to tear the plain brown paper wrapping. She opened the equally plain box, heart pounding when she saw the delicate crepe paper.

It was a sweater. She touched the soft rib-knit in awe before shaking it out and just looking at it.

She’d never had anything so soft and smooth. It was more muted than her usual sweaters, cream with a maroon and grey stripe pattern on the body and sleeves but she loved it anyway.

“You…don’t like it?” He was rubbing the back of his neck, “I wasn’t really sure what to get you either.”

She looked at him; he was blushing, “I love it,” She said, “It’s… I mean,” She bit her lip, “I never had anything so…”

“Oh, good.” He breathed a sigh of relief, “It’s not too big is it? I wasn’t sure of your size either and…”

“It’s perfect,” She said quickly and stood, “And I like big sweaters. Thank you,” She hesitated briefly before lurching forward, still holding the sweater with one hand, to give him an awkward hug. He froze, like he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

He patted her back just as awkwardly, almost on instinct, before his hand stilled and he threw his arms around her.

The man clearly was not used to hugs and she was more than happy to give them.

“We should probably shower first before watching,” She murmured.

“Hm, do I smell bad now?” She giggled, “Should we shower together?” She sucked in a breath and looked up. He grinned and tweaked her nose, “Just kidding.”

It didn’t occur to her until then that they’d be even more intimate in the future. _When_ exactly was the right time to sleep with your boyfriend?

“Rey,” His smile was gone, “I’m not pressuring you or anything.” He was about to step away from her and she held on, “I was just teasing you,”

“I know,” She said and stood on her toes to give him a peck on the lips. Then she flushed and looked away.

“What a shy girl,” He murmured and swooped down to give her a proper kiss.

Her sigh ended with a moan.


	68. Who's Your Friend Who Likes to Play?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two tonight (sumimasen). Getting busy so I really do hope I don't catch up to myself lol so I can continue to give quality service (lol I work in customer service so that's pretty much a given) 
> 
> -X
> 
> I can see the comments now. "OMG! You have a JOB?!"
> 
> -Y

It goes without saying that they didn’t shower together. Ben wasn’t disappointed, not really. He could wait. He knew when to keep pushing and when to back down and he knew she’d let him do to her whatever he wanted once she’s gotten over the fact that yes, they are dating officially and exclusively, and that he’s just like any other man.

Except famous.

Then again, so was she.

He’d declared Finn’s old room as his now and she’d promised to send Finn the clothes he’d left behind. It didn’t really matter since he’d be sharing her room eventually. He was willing to go as slow as she wanted though so if sleeping in separate rooms made her more comfortable then so be it.

He knew he was moving way too fast anyway. Generally people don’t make out from the get-go but all these months of watching her and looking her up online made him feel as though they’d known each other for years.

It was the loneliness that she’d tried so hard to hide that really called out to him. He wanted to take care of her, to assure her that he’d always be there. He wanted her to rely on him.

She came out of her room in another fluffy pair of pyjamas, red this time, with a matching fluffy pink hoodie. He suppressed a smile.

“You really like fluffy things,” He said and she grinned.

“It has a nose,” She said, turning around. There, in the middle of her ass, was bright red pompom and two felt antlers over it.

Then she turned around again and put her hood up. It too had a big red pompom, ears and a pair of antlers sitting on her head.

He snorted back a laugh and she frowned.

“I believe you have to show all your weird quirks at the start of a relationship so none of us waste any time.”

He laughed then and she pouted, “ _All_ of them?” He arched a brow, still amused, “Baby, are you sure you’re ready for _all_ of mine?”

She froze and asked in all seriousness, “You don’t have a foot fetish do you, because that’s not my kink.”

He tried. He really did; he really tried his best not to laugh but he couldn’t help it, “Jesus, Rey,” He snorted, “I’m not kinky,”

Her brows shot up, “You’re not?”

“Do I _look_ like I am?”

“Yes.”

He snorted again, still trying not to laugh, “I don’t think I am.”

“That’s what kinky people say,”

“Know a lot of kinky people, do you?” He arched a brow and she flushed.

“I mean there’s Poe,”

“He’s just a weirdo,” He shrugged and patted the sofa, “Come here,”

She walked towards him and yelped when he suddenly pulled her to his lap, “Ben!”

“What are we watching?” She struggled and slid off his lap to the sofa. He kept an arm around her.

“Inside Out,” She said, “Since you didn’t know who Joy was.” He nodded, “You know I didn’t think you’d be the affectionate type,”

He stilled and frowned, “I’m not.”

She leaned on him, sort of, her torso almost laid completely over his lap, “Really? You’ve been really touchy,”

His frown deepened. Has he been, really? He thought back to of their previous encounters, “Must be because it’s you,” She flushed prettily and tried to get up. He wouldn’t let her, “Play the movie, Rey.”

She shuffled around for the remote and they watched though if someone were to ask him, he wouldn’t really be able to tell exactly what it was about.

He _did_ like the elephant though and how she’d clung to his arm when he’d disappeared.


	69. Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret putting chapter titles. I have decided that in my next fanfic there will be absolutely _no_ chapter titles.
> 
> -X

She must’ve fallen asleep.

She woke up to a strange sound coming from Finn’s—Ben’s room and she stumbled out of bed. It was nearing four in the morning and she yawned.

She doesn’t remember how she got into her room.

Ben didn’t answer when she knocked and there was another strange, strangled sound that came from behind the door.

“Ben, are you okay?” Maybe they should’ve slept in the same bed. Couples do that even without fucking, right? She opened the door.

The sheets were tangled up around his hips and his shirt had ridden up, giving her a delicious view of his toned stomach. Her eyes followed the thin line of hair that led from his bellybutton to his pants.

He shifted again and her eyes snapped to his face. He looked troubled; his handsome face contorting to an almost snarl.

“Ben?” She approached the bed warily. She knew some people were violent in the throes of a nightmare. She’d smacked and kicked her mum numerous times in the first year she’d been adopted. She reached for his shoulder and tried to brace herself in case his arm shoot out to hit her, “Ben, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”

“No, no, no, no!” He chanted in his sleep, “Liar!”

“Ben!” She smacked his shoulder. Hard.

Ben sat up straight and stared at her wide-eyed, unseeing and _betrayed_. What happened to him that put that look in his eyes? She touched his arm and he flinched.

“I’ll go get you some water,” She said, rushing to go to the kitchen. He grabbed her wrist.

She could feel the subtle shake in his hand, “Don’t go,” He said roughly without looking at her.

“…okay,” She said quietly and sat next to him on the bed.

He scooped her up and settled her between his thighs and held her tight.

When she’d imagined the various scenarios of her straddling Ben Solo, this was not one of them.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders rubbed what little of his back she could reach. She could feel his heart pounding a rapid staccato. His arms trembled around her.

“It’s okay,” She murmured in his ear, “I’m right here,” She brushed the tangles in his hair a little as he buried his face in her neck, “I’m here, Ben.”

It seemed like hours before his heart rate started to slow and he let out an uneven sigh.

“I’m sorry,” His voice was scratchy and hoarse.

“Are you okay?” He nodded, face still hidden in her shoulder, “Want to talk about it?” He shook his head, “Okay,” She kept running her fingers through his hair and even hummed a little. Incidentally it was ‘Hey Jude’ and his arms tightened around her like a vice.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was muffled .

“No,”

“Okay.” 

She realised that not many people has seen this part of Ben and even though she didn’t want him to suffer, she was glad that he let her in and showed her the most vulnerable parts of him.

She loved him even more.


	70. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two tonight! :) It's pretty short though (sorry) but they're important bits of their characters.
> 
> Much regret. I hate titles, my creativity is limited to plot.
> 
> -X

Rey pulled him out of bed and led him to the small kitchen. He leaned against the counter heavily and sighed.

Of all the nights he’d have that particular nightmare.

She handed him a glass of water and he gave her a tight smile.

“Are you okay?” She was frowning.

He chugged his water in one go, “I’m fine.” He said with a sigh, “I dream a lot. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I did too when I was younger,” She refilled his water and this time he took his time drinking it, “Mum would have so much bruises the next day.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m way too old for screaming nightmares,”

“Wanna talk about it?” He didn’t, not really, “It’s okay if you don’t though. I just think it might help if you talk to someone,”

“I’m fine,” He sighed again and pulled her into a one-armed hug, “Just something I gotta work on.”

“Okay,” She murmured and wrapped her arms around his waist.

It was strange how comfortable they are with each other now, like they’ve been dating for years instead of hours.

They haven’t even fucked yet.

And he finally understood what his mother meant when she said Skywalkers loved hard and fast and forever.

—

She led him to her room and he hesitated by the door.

“Rey,”

“I’m not propositioning anything,” She said, flushing, “I just thought you might…,” She shrugged, still holding his hand, “You might feel better? Maybe not have nightmares again?”

He laughed. How could he not? She thought _he_ thought that _she_ was propositioning to _him_. Hell, he’d jump at the chance if she were but he knew she only wanted to comfort him somehow.

He rubbed his chest and smiled a little.

His girl was really sweet.

He walked into her room and looked around. It was a little smaller than Finn’s—his room now, and a lot more colourful as he’d expected. She didn’t seem like the type who would have plain white sheets and pillows anyway.

Her sheets were pale blue with mismatched pillows and a weighted blanket crumpled up near the foot of it. She must’ve kicked it off when she went to check on him.

There were some photo frames on her desk and it seemed every other flat surface was occupied by a book, a figure of some sort or a mechanical part he couldn’t even begin to recognise.

“My room’s a mess,” She said with a flush, “Sorry.”

“No, it looks lived in.” He said, eyeing the plushie he gave her earlier. She’d put it on her bedside table, sitting next to a salt lamp. There were even fairy lights strung up over her headboard, “I like it,”

It was the complete opposite of his spartan room in the penthouse. Maybe moving forward she’d help him decorate and her things would eventually blend in together with his.

He’d like that.

She’d moved to the bed and patted the area next to her. Her bed was a standard queen so it’d be a tight fit but he’d been in worse places. Besides, if he had her beside him,it’d be like heaven on earth.

He slid in and fluffed the pillows behind him before lying down, “Aren’t you going to sleep?” He asked and she flushed a deep red.

“Um, yes?” She squeaked and struggled a little with the blanket. It was strange having a weighted blanket over him. He wasn’t sure if he liked it but it wasn’t _too_ heavy that it was uncomfortable. He tucked her in and she turned an even brighter shade of red.

“Good night, Rey,” He mumbled and brushed his lips against her forehead.

Halfway between wakefulness and slumber, he had a revelation.

Rey surrounds herself with things that comfort her and now he was one of them.

That night he didn’t dream again.


	71. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is page 109 of my master file. :'( Need to write faster :') Only one tonight (sumimasen :'() 
> 
> -X

_Easy peasy, lemon squeeze-y, everything is fine. Easy, breezy, one, two, three, it’s all because you’re mine. When the clouds come round and when life gets tough. Easy peasy, all we need is love. All that we need is love._

Ben groaned at the annoyingly perky song. What the _fuck_ was that? He pulled his pillow closer and it squeaked.

What the fuck?

The song started again, the same cheerful high-pitched tune.

“Ben,” Rey wheezed and tapped his arm, “Can’t breathe. Have to pee.”

What was Rey doing in his bed? Was he dreaming again? His brows furrowed and he snuggled deeper into his sheets.

Then she bit him.

His eyes shot open and he stared at the fluffy, incensed _Rey_ in his arms. He could still see the outline her teeth made on his arm.

“Christ, sweet thing, you got a sharp set of teeth on you,” He released her and she struggled out of the blanket. She frowned at him and shuffled quickly into the en-suite bathroom.

He grinned.

Her phone started ringing again and he reached over to her bedside table to shut it off. Then, he stared at her wallpaper.

It was that picture Rose had taken during Rey’s album launch. How long has that been her wallpaper?

He returned the phone to the table and got out of bed. He knocked on the bathroom door and grinned again when he heard her squeak, “I’m going to take a shower,” He said and waited for her muffled ‘okay’ before leaving.

Things are going so much smoother than he’d expected and they’d bulldozed through so many possible relationship obstacles in the few months they’ve known each other without even realising it.

He hummed a little as he showered. He liked seeing his things in her apartment but it’d be even better if they were all in the same area. Of course, it _did_ make sense to at least have two different bathrooms so they can both prepare for work at the same time.

Maybe he should start looking for a house. It’s always better to buy early while the prices were low. It’d be a good investment anyway.

Something with a yard.

Rey seemed like the type who’d want to have a vegetable garden anyway judging by the basil plant he saw in the kitchen.

The water in the shower was tepid at best but it’s an old building. He dried off quickly and towel-dried his hair. He’d brought enough clothes for his mom’s party and two more nights.

His mom’s first party in almost a decade. Luke would most likely be there. He grimaced and shook his head, trying not to think of the bastard.

He walked into the kitchen where he could already smell bacon cooking, wearing only his sweatpants. She’d see all of him eventually anyway, she should start at least getting used to his naked chest.

Not that she hasn’t seen it in his movies.

She’d changed into a pale blue long-sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts that showed off her mile-long legs.

She turned when she heard him approach and yelped, “You’re not wearing a shirt,” She said, turning around quickly.

He tried not smile, “It’s not the first time you’ve seen me shirtless, sweet thing. What are we having?” He said, touching her waist tentatively. She jumped a little.

“A full English breakfast,” She said, flashing him a dimpled smile, “And movies and the real thing are two _very_ different things. Can you grab me two plates, please?”

“Sure,” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and she turned to him, wide-eyed. He winked and her face turned bright red, “Phas said we can’t announce our relationship yet until after we’ve gotten mom on _Good Evening, America._ ”

She nodded and slid bacon on each plate. She used the same pan to fry the egg, “How do you like your eggs?”

“Scrambled,”

“It makes sense I guess in the PR point of view.” He nodded and tinkered with her Keurig.

“Mm. We don’t want people to say you’re only in Resistance because Leia’s my mom.”

“Will you be okay?” He glanced at her. The Keurig bubbled happily in the background, “They might ask you about your dad,”

He shrugged, “Phasma said she’ll talk to Jessika Pava to keep it to a minimum.” He hesitated a little before asking, “Would you go with me?”

“Me?” She’d fixed their breakfast and brought it to the counter. He brought their coffee and sat on the barstool next to hers.

“Yes,”

“Is that okay? Wouldn’t that mess up Phasma’s plans?”

He shrugged, “We can have Dameron there too if it’d help,”

“I’ll have to ask,” She frowned and passed him the pepper-mill, “I’d love to be there though.” He squeezed her hand and smiled.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The annoyingly perky song at the start is Easy Peasy by the Kinnardly's. I encountered it in the show '3Below' by Guillermo Del Toro (2nd part to a trilogy called Tales of Arcadia). It's great please check it out. I watched the whole thing twice :) It's on Netflix! (At least in my version of Netflix anyway).
> 
> -X 
> 
> I watched it with her the second time...the dudes were hot. Some of them anyway. Be on the look out for Big D. 
> 
> -Y


	72. My Favourite Line

They didn’t go out. Ben said it would be best if they didn’t since they wanted to keep their relationship a secret for now. She agreed.

“Why don’t we record that song you wanted?” He said while they waited for the pizza to thaw.

“Are you okay with that?” She asked and he reached over to tuck her hair back. He seemed to really like doing that.

He smiled, his dimples popped out and her heart skipped a beat, “Wasn’t it your idea, sweet thing?” He arched a brow and his smile turned almost lecherous, “Unless you have a better idea,”

“I’ll go get my guitar,” She squeaked and scrambled off the couch. He laughed.

“What song are we singing?”

“Um, I’m not sure yet,” She went to her room to grab the baby pink acoustic and her laptop, “I was thinking something we can dedicate to Rose and Hux, and Finn and Poe. For their engagement,”

“Bryan Adams is always a wedding classic,” She handed him the guitar and he looked for the chords online.

“What song?”

He showed her his phone.

“Sounds good,” She grinned and set up her computer.

Ben practiced the chords a few times and she got up to get some water for the both of them.

Her heart was pounding so loudly she wondered if she’d be able to sing properly?

He was sitting on the sofa, one leg up, cradling the guitar. He’d tied his hair back in a bun using a hair tie he’d somehow produced. Was that actually _hers_? She saw the glittery silver hair tie winking at her from the messy knot on his head.

He glanced at her, the bright blue pick tucked between his lips. He winked and she flushed.

“Ready?” She asked and he nodded. She sat on the floor, angled to the side so she could still see him. The computer on the coffee table showed her face and torso but only captured his one arm, a knee and a part of the guitar.

She pressed record and he started strumming the intro.

She closed her eyes a little and breathed in, letting it out slowly.

 _“I finally found someone, who knocks me off my feet,”_ He started in his deep tenor. She opened her eyes and stared at him as he sang. It always amazed her how he had such a wide range of tones but his singing voice was _definitely_ a tenor, _“I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete,”_ He was gazing at her, almost hypnotically, that she almost missed her turn.

 _“It started over coffee, we started out as friends,”_ Why did it sound like them instead of their friends? _“It’s funny how from simple things, the best things begin,”_

 _“This time it’s different, it’s all because of you,”_ It was like he was singing to her. She flushed a little, _“It’s better than it’s ever been,”_

 _“‘Cause we can talk it through,”_ Their voices blended so beautifully she didn’t think she’d even need to edit it too much, _“My favourite line was ‘Can I call you sometime?’ It’s all you had to say, to take my breath away,”_ She met his eyes and he gave her a dimpled smile.

They sang the chorus together and she poured her heart into it, hoping that he would understand how she felt, how she wasn’t singing for her friends anymore, but singing _for_ him and with him.

She’d love to be with him every night.

_“Did I keep you waiting?”_

_“I didn’t mind,”_ She really didn’t mind.

 _“I apologise”_ He sounded so sincere and the way he _looked_ at her made her a lump form in her throat.

 _“Baby, that’s fine,”_ He arched a brow at this and winked.

_“I would wait forever, just to know you were mine,”_

_“…just to know you were mine,”_

_“You know I love your hair,”_ He reached over to tuck her hair back behind her ear again, not once missing a beat, before going back to the guitar.

_“Are you sure it looks right?”_

She closed her eyes again, not able to take the intensity of his gaze as they sang to each other.

 _“My life has just begun, I finally found someone.”_ They trailed off and she breathed out unevenly.

Her heart was pounding and she grinned up at him, “You were amazing,” She said. He placed the guitar on the sofa next to him gently before dropping to the floor on his knees, facing her, “Ben?”

He looked so serious. She couldn’t read the emotions in his dark eyes.

He cupped her face with both hands and leaned forward quickly to catch her gasp with his kiss.

She moaned, one hand going behind her to catch herself from falling over and the other going to clutch at the plain black t-shirt he’d worn for their video. He kept pushing, tilting her head slightly so he can sweep his tongue deeper into her mouth.

She moaned again.

One hand left her face to brace against the floor by her waist.

They pulled away with another gasp, “Ben,” She whined, “It’s still recording,”

“Edit it out later,” His voice had gone deeper and rougher and she shivered. He pressed forward again and she met him halfway. She could feel his strong heartbeat under her hand and it was beating just as fast as hers.

Her arm shook and she lay down slowly, pulling him along with her. Now that her hands were free, she pulled at the hair tie and his hair tumbled out around them.

He groaned and she wanted to hear it again.

She tugged again and gripped his hair, making him tense and jerk a little.

His hand slipped under her shirt and brushed against her bra. He froze.

He pulled away slowly, with a heavy, stuttering breath. He pulled his hand out of her shirt and brushed a thumb against her swollen lower lip.

She blinked up at him blearily, her chest rising up and down quickly, “I,” She squeaked. Her cheeks felt hot.

“That’s enough, baby girl,” He crooned softly. She could feel his hardness pressing against her stomach. He leaned down again, like he couldn’t help it, and placed another wet kiss on her mouth.

She whimpered.


	73. That's All You Had To Say, To Take My Breath Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two today! 
> 
> -X

Ben managed to pull himself away from her before he ended up fucking her on the floor.

He ran his fingers through his hair as she scrambled to stop the recording.

“I’ll um, bake the pizza,” She said, standing abruptly.

He grabbed her wrist and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. She turned even redder.

 _I love you_. He wanted to say but he couldn’t, not while she still had doubts about him, not while they’re still so new.

He let her go and she shuffled to the kitchen to stick their pizza in the oven.

Would their days always be like this? He wouldn’t mind. He liked how they seemed to have their own little world.

That would change of course when they announce their relationship but for now, he’d like to keep her, and this, to himself.

He smiled and watched her fumble with the pizza box from his perch.

Singing with her was a different experience, like he’d touched parts of her that he’s never seen or heard before. When she sings, she pours everything into it, her hopes and fears and loneliness, her love.

She was her truest self when she sang and he was honoured to be part of it.

“Pizza should be done in twenty,” She said, coming back with another jug of iced tea.

His phone rang and he frowned, “What do you want, Hux?”

“Have you seen Twitter yet?”

“Obviously not,” Rey looked at him curiously, “Hux is asking if I’ve been on Twitter yet. Do I look like the type who’d check every day?”

Rey looked like she was trying to hide a smile but failing utterly. He patted the seat next to him and she sat, pouring them both a drink.

“Wait, you’re still at _Rey’s?”_

“You sound surprised,” She handed him his glass and he grinned, “It’s not the first time. Besides, we’re both going to the same place later anyway. Saves me the trip, don’t you think?”

“Don’t Dameron and Finn usually bring her?”

“Yes but it was late last night anyway,” Rey snorted.

“And you brought your things with you.” He wasn’t sure if Hux was angry or frustrated or laughing. He sounded like he was all of the above.

“Of course. I just wasn’t prepared last time.”

“Oh, so you happen to think ahead now and brought clothes just in case Rey will let you stay the night again?” Yup, he was definitely amused but angry that he found it amusing, “Why must you keep making my life so hard, Solo?”

“Relax, no one knows I’m still here. Maybe. And anyway it’s fine, we’re just hanging out, having a pizza.”

“Uh huh, right.” Hux groaned, “Should I expect Phasma to come chew me a new one again?”

“Oh, she knows.”

“Bloody Hell, Solo.” He groaned again, “In any case, remember what we said about Terry Crews? Now’s about the right time so check Twitter.” Hux hung up and Ben frowned at his phone.

“What does he mean by Terry Crews it?” He asked her. She was already on her phone, scrolling through Twitter, her brows lowering, “Rey?”

“Remember those two girls yesterday?” Ben groaned and scooted closer, his arm going behind her so he could lean on her shoulder and read, “I think this is her,” She clicked on the profile picture and he saw a blonde smiling up from the screen with some filter that made it look like she had a cat nose, ears and whiskers drawn on her face.

She’d retweeted one of the pictures Rose had posted, _‘Ben Solo is the rudest, fakest asshole in Hollywood! These pictures are a lie! They’re for publicity!!! He told us to fuck off when we asked if we could take a picture with him! No a fan anymore’_ There were a few more exclamation marks and angry face emojis. He didn’t even bother reading the hashtags.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Terry Crews answered a lady’s complaint about him publicly, calling her out for making it seem like he’s an asshole when she’d bowled his kid over trying to get a picture with him or something.” Rey said, “I think it’s still in his Twitter.”

“So, I just have to call this bitch out,” He shrugged and grabbed his phone to open the app.

“You can’t call her a bitch on Twitter, Ben.” She frowned at him and he chuckled.

“‘Course not, baby, I’m a professional,” She flushed and he gave her a peck on the cheek before moving away.

He frowned as he composed his reply. She’d helped him find the complaint and showed him how to answer it.

 _“First of all,”_ He wrote out, _“I was just hanging out with my friends @rosiepose @ABHux @That_British_Girl @FN-2187_ _when you and your friend interrupted our lunch asking me for an autograph and a picture. That is very rude. Secondly, I said ‘no’ to both the autograph and the picture that you felt entitled to, having going so far as to throw a tantrum and argue with my manager_ and _insult Rey, Rose and Finn as being nobodies. They are not nobodies. They are my friends.”_ He pressed ‘tweet’.

Rey retweeted it and Hux and Rose followed. She texted Finn and soon, he too retweeted it, adding more a little more detail about how they were having an impromptu celebration for his and Poe’s engagement and asking them to ‘have some respect’.

Poe retweetedit too, asking why he wasn’t included in the people Ben mentioned to which he promptly replied, _“You’re not my friend.”_

Then it was both Rey and Ben’s fans who took over, calling out the entitlement and going all out with torches and pitchforks. He closed the app and ran his fingers through his hair.

“This is why I don’t like social media.” He mumbled, “It’s too…” He shrugged, not finding the words. He sighed again. The oven beeped and Rey jumped up to get their pizza, “Need help?”

“It’s fine,” She called out and he sighed again.


	74. Whatever I Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to start that this _will_ have a smut chapter (or a few?). I realised that there are readers who are uncomfortable with this so I will put a warning at the start when there _is_ smut. 
> 
> -X

“Mom wants me to go earlier,” He said, “Would that be okay with you?”

“Sure,” Rey didn’t mind; she was getting a little nervous being alone with him for so long. She still can’t believe he’s here with her and that he’d slept in her bed. Then she stilled, how would she act around Leia?

“You okay?”

“Leia doesn’t know yet, does she?”

He frowned. She wanted to kiss him again. Now that she knew what his lips felt like, it was like she couldn’t get enough, “No. I haven’t told anyone yet.”

She nodded a little distractedly, “What if she doesn’t like me?”

Ben snorted, choking a little on his pizza, and laughed, “Jesus, Rey. I think she likes you more than she likes me,”

“But that was _before_. What if she doesn’t want me dating you? You’re her only child,”

“Why don’t we ask her then?” He grabbed his phone.

“No!” She shrieked and lunged at him. He caught her easily, “Don’t, that’s embarrassing.”

“Okay, I won’t,” He laughed a little and leaned down to give her a kiss. She flushed.

He tasted like pizza and sweetness.

“What time will we be going to your mum’s?” He wouldn’t let her sit up so she settled back down between his long legs. She didn’t want to think of what her breasts were pressing up against at the moment.

“Mm, maybe around three-thirty so we’ll get there at around four. She said she needs a few last minute help,”

“Okay,” She tried sitting back again and this time he let her go, “Would she be okay if I join you?”

“Of course,”

Would Leia really be okay with her, knowing her background? Would Ben? Their relationship was so very new and she’s always had a history of overthinking things and sabotaging herself. Would he be able to handle that or would he find her too much after all?

She didn’t want him to leave her, her heart wouldn’t be able to take it if he did.

“Rey?” He tucked her hair back and cupped her cheek, “What is it?” How could he be so calm when her heart was pounding and her mind was racing a mile a minute? Then he drew her close and held her tight, “It’s alright,” He murmured, “I’m here. I’ll always be here,”

How did he know that she was on the verge of falling apart again?

Why did it always happen when he was around?

She breathed in his unfamiliar scent; soap and man and warmth, and wondered if she’ll ever get used to it. She hoped so, it was comforting. Maybe she should have him wear that jacket she still hasn’t returned so it’d smell like him again. She’s obviously never going to give it back.

“Feel better?” She felt his lips on her hairline and his breath tickled a little.

“Yes,” She mumbled and leaned up a little to kiss his jaw, “Thank you, Daddy,” He stiffened and then laughed a little, sounding both amused and frustrated.

“We really should talk about your use of that word,”

“Does it bother you?”

“Fuck no.” His chest vibrated with his laugher and she closed her eyes a little. Pizza always made her sleepy after, “But you should probably know what that would entail,”

She sat up then, “So you _are_ kinky!” She grinned triumphantly, “I knew it,”

He scowled, “No I’m not. I’m as vanilla as ice cream.”

She snorted and giggled, “You seem more like a dark chocolate, coffee kind.” He shrugged, “So, Daddy,” He stiffened again, visibly, “What does it entail?”

“Well, baby girl,” He suddenly pulled her up and plopped her on his lap. She squeaked, “It means being a good girl and letting Daddy take care of you.” He nibbled on her ear and she shivered, “Do you think you can be a good girl for me, Rey?”

“Yes,” She squeaked and then yelped when he nipped her earlobe sharply.

“Yes what, baby?” She shivered again. His voice lowered an octave. He was using his voice against her.

“Yes, Daddy,” She squirmed on his lap, trying not to get affected. She felt the flush rising up her neck to her cheeks, from his voice or the hardness stirring in his joggers, she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was both?

“Good girl,” He purred and if that didn’t get her panties wet, she wasn’t sure what would. His lips brushed against the sensitive line of her jaw and she gasped.

Then his phone rang and she jumped.

He growled a little and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. Rey moved to get off him and he held her with one arm, “Stay here, sweet thing,” He said and she settled back down, flushing. His hand was on her bare thigh and she shivered, “What do you want _now_ , Hux?”


	75. It's Just Got To Be You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2 tonight. There is a POV switch in the middle of this. Advanced Merry Christmas!
> 
> -X

“Sorry to interrupt,” Hux said drily, “I’d just like to remind you to be careful when coming out and to also share the good news.

“What news is that?” No news is good enough to interrupt his time with Rey.

“Phasma has gotten a slot on _Good Evening, America_ on the second. Now, I know it’s right after New Years but it’s better to keep things fresh and announce it at the start of the year when everyone’s still on holiday.”

“Why is that good news?” He drew circles on Rey’s thigh absent-mindedly and she tried to keep still. He grinned.

“It’s notoriously hard to get a slot there you know,” Hux sniffed, “Now comes the hard bit. I need you to convince your mother,”

Ben sighed, “We’ll see.” His hand left her thigh and reached for her hair; he really liked her hair, “You never know with my mother.” He was still holding her hair as he brushed her bottom lip with his thumb.

“…Are you even listening to me?” Hux sounded annoyed.

“Nope.” He said shamelessly, “When did I even listen?”

“Fuck you.”

“Hm, maybe.”

“Wanker.”

“That too,”

Hux made another frustrated sound and hung up.

He chuckled and threw his phone behind him on the sofa.

“Good news?” She was still on his lap, “Hux didn’t sound very happy,”

“He interrupted us.” She flushed a little and he traced the freckles on dusting the bridge of her nose with his eyes. Even in winter she tanned and freckled, reminding him of sunshine and warmth.

She shifted again and looked away, “Do you want coffee or something, I’ll go make some,”

“Do I make you uncomfortable, Rey?” He asked and she _trembled_ , “You have to tell me if I do. It’s very important that you do,”

“I’m just not used to…this? You?” She shrugged, “I feel like I’m dreaming,”

“You’re not dreaming,” He murmured and nudged her face a little so he kiss her. She squeaked and then whimpered. He felt his cock twitch and she jumped. She was panting when he pulled away, eyes glazed, “You have to tell me so I know what you like and what your limits are, baby,”

“I like you,” She mumbled and he laughed a little.

“I like you too, Rey.” She shivered a little, “I like you a lot,” He leaned forward again to steal another kiss and she stuck her hand up to stop him.

“I’ll go get coffee,” She squeaked and scrambled off of him. He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair.

Maybe he’d gone a little too far today.

He didn’t want to give her time to think too deeply and scare herself away. What would it take to make her believe that he really wanted to be with her?

Forever if she’d let him.

He ran his fingers through his hair again before getting up to clean up the dishes.

“I can do that,” She said, still waiting on their coffee, “You can just leave them on the sink,”

“Rey,” He said, “I know how to wash the dishes.”

“But—,” He arched a brow and she frowned.

“I’m not a guest either,” He said, “So don’t treat me like one.” Her frown deepened and she looked almost like she was pouting, “Rey, I’m serious.”

“Okay,” She mumbled.

“I’m serious about this relationship,” He said as he washed, “And you. So if you aren’t or if there’s something you don’t agree with you should tell me now.” He swallowed audibly. He didn’t want to give her an out; he scrubbed the plates as he waited for her answer.

What if she thought he was going way too fast? What if she changes her mind?

Suddenly he didn’t want to hear her reply at all.

—

She should’ve expected it. She always knew how intense Ben Solo could be, so she should’ve expected it going in a relationship with him. He never seemed to do anything half-assed and she shouldn’t have expected otherwise.

“I like you, Ben,” She said softly, “I always did and…” She chewed on her bottom lip, still sensitive and swollen from his kisses, “I just don’t want you to get bored of me,”

He sighed and placed the plates on the rack. She watched him wipe his hands from the corner of her eye and froze when he reached for her.

“Sorry, sweet thing,” He murmured, pulling her close, “You can’t get rid of me that easy,”

“Who said anything about wanting to get rid of you,” She laughed, “ _Who_ would want to get rid of you?” He didn’t smile like she thought he would and the pain in his eyes struck her, “Ben?”

He sighed again and looked away. Still, he didn’t let her go, “I’m not going to leave you,” He said thickly, “Not unless you tell me to.” Then he gave her a self-deprecating smile that sent chills down her spine, “Fuck, even then I probably won’t.”

He had the same look in his eyes last night when he’d woken from his nightmare. What happened to him that brought that look of defeat and loneliness in his eyes?

“Too bad,” She said, hoping her voice sounded light and cheery, “You can’t get rid of me that easy either. I’m like moss, easy to grow and hard to get rid of,”

His smile was wide, relieved, “Then I guess we’ll just have to stick together,”

“I guess so,” His dimples popped out and she stood on her toes to give him a soft kiss, “We’ll work through things together?”

“Always,” He said, brushing his lips against hers for another chaste kiss, like he too couldn’t get enough.

Like he’d been deprived of touch.

Like her.

She didn’t really know much about him after all.

Their coffee had gone cold but they clung to each other in the silence of her kitchen, comforting and easing each other’s aching hearts with their own.

And it felt like the missing pieces in her heart came slotting together and she felt whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am a tease. I am sorry I don't know how to stop.
> 
> -X


	76. You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas people!
> 
> -X

“Are you sure I look okay?” Rey fidgeted with the hem of her sweater dress, “Maybe I should’ve worn something more formal,”

Ben chuckled and squeezed her hand briefly, “You always look great, Rey.” He let her go and shifted gears, “Mom said it was casual and knowing how her parties are, it can be anywhere between a full-blown costume party to a sleepover. She doesn’t really care what you wear as long as you’re there.”

She eyed his maroon cable-knit sweater and frowned, “You look good in anything,”

“And nothing,” He said with a wink. She flushed and looked away.

She heard him chuckle, “Don’t worry, baby, she loves you. She’s not going to judge. Plus you’re one of her more profitable investments.”

“Right now. We won’t know how I’d do in the future.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great. Have you _ever_ heard of a Resistance star that flopped?”

“There’s a first for everything,”

He chuckled, “Don’t worry,”

She was a worrier, she couldn’t help but worry, “You’re not going to leave me if I get fired or something, would you?”

He laughed then, “Of course not. Then at least I’d have you all to myself,” He glanced at her and winked again, “I’m not very good at sharing.” His phone rang and he pressed on the screen.

Leia’s voice filtered out over David Draiman’s guttural growls, “I see some paparazzis loitering around my yard so you should pass through the backdoor.”

“Shut the curtains,” Ben said, “At least until everyone else arrives.”

“I know, I’m not _that_ old, dear. I do remember how it was when we threw all those parties.”

“ _You_ threw them, mom. I wasn’t even allowed to drink.”

“You were a child.” Chewie let out a loud ‘woof’ from somewhere in the background, “Oh hush, Chewie you weren’t even there yet.”

Ben snorted back a laugh, “Mom, are you talking to the _dog_?”

“Mind your mouth, Benjamin, Chewie’s very sensitive, aren’t you, you big baby?” Rey giggled before she could stop herself, “Oh, is that Rey? Hello, dear!”

Rey squeaked, “Hi, Leia,” She flushed even though she couldn’t even see her, “I hope you don’t mind me coming along earlier too,”

“Oh nonsense. The more hands the better! I’m not as young as I used to be and I guess I didn’t plan my timing correctly,” She sighed heavily, “And I can’t carry heavy things like I used to anymore.”

“Jesus, mom, you should’ve called me earlier. What if you fall over and break something?” Ben scowled.

Rey stared at him. It was so endearing how concerned he was.

Leia snorted, “I’ll have you know I was in labour with you for well over twenty-four hours.”

“Mom!”

Rey laughed again.

“I’m hanging up now, bye.” Ben warned and pressed on the screen again, “Jesus.” His ears, what little she could see of them, were bright red.

It was nice watching him interact with his mother. It was like the last decade didn’t happen and they were a regular mum and son. What would _her_ mum think of Ben?

_I’ve begun to realise that whenever I am with you, you deliver me from the pain in my life._

She was startled by his distracted singing. _All the misery I have been through, it was beating me to submission, til’ the day you arrived._

He glanced at her with an arched brow, “What?”

“Nothing,” She squeaked, watching wide-eyed as he executed a near-perfect growl.

 _‘Cause you’re mine_.

She shivered and he glanced at her again.

He winked and she flushed, again. _I knew I could be whole if you were mine._

It felt like he was _singing_ to her, this strange love song. Who betrayed him?

_You’re the one who resurrected a man who had died._

But really his voice is _sinful_ even when he wasn’t even focusing on his singing. If his acting career didn’t pan out the way it did, he would’ve made a fortune singing.

 _Your power, it gave me new life._ His gaze was serious when they met hers in that brief second. Had he realised what he was singing to her? _You made me reborn and revived._

There was still so much to learn about him.

“You’re beautiful,” She said seriously and he choked on a laugh and missed a line from the song.

“No, I’m not,” He said, “ _You_ are.” _I knew I could be whole if you were mine._

She knew how that felt. She’d never felt so whole as she did whenever they were together. She was totally, and utterly his.

They stopped at a stoplight and his fingers tapped the steering wheel in time with the beat of the song. Music really _was_ in his blood whether he liked it or not.

_I let you in and let go of the hate, my heart recovered, now I owe you a debt that I could never repay. I still believe cause you’re mine._

They were nearing Leia’s house and he took her hand again. “Still nervous?” He asked and she shook her head. He smiled, “Good.”

The song ended just as they passed outside Leia’s house. True enough there were people lingering around her bushes.

Ben drove around and parked on the street. Then, they walked through themanicured backyards of Leia’s neighbours. Rey asked him why the yard doors were open when nobody seemed home.

“Nobody really stole shit in these parts,” He said, “And the neighbours are used to having paparazzis around so they keep the backyards open in case we don’t want to be seen.”

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of them.”

“Mom must’ve told them she’s having a party.” He shrugged and ducked under a trellis of some sort.

Then they were behind Leia’s house. He strode in through the backdoor, “We’re here,” He called out, his voice echoing in the kitchen.

“Be right there!” Leia called out from somewhere in the house. Chewie woofed loudly and bounded in before her.

“Hi, Chewie,” Rey said as the massive dog sat in front of her. She rubbed his head and he panted goofily. She still preferred cats but Chewie was hard not to love.

“Hello!” Leia said cheerfully as she came in, “You’re finally here,”

“Hi,” Rey said, almost shyly, “Um, we brought a fruitcake,”

“Is that the fruitcake Poe has been raving about?” Leia accepted the bag graciously, “I can’t wait to try it. Away from everyone of course, I’m afraid if we serve it I won’t get to taste it.” She chuckled, “Thank you for coming so early, dear.”

“It’s no problem,” She said, fidgeting a little.

“And look! You two match!” Rey flushed and looked at Ben’s sweater and then at her dress.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Her voice had gone up an octave and Ben glanced at her with amusement.

Leia chuckled, “I’m sure it wasn’t, dear.” She patted Rey’s forearm gently, “Now, Ben. I need you to go get the crates of wine from the cellar,”

“Which ones?” Ben asked, already making his way to the nondescript door near the fridge.

“The 2012 Veeder Reserve should be good for now.”

Ben gave her a two-fingered salute and stomped down the basement.

“I’ll help,” Rey volunteered and Leia grabbed her arm.

“Oh no, dear, I need you for something else.” She said, “Come along,”

“Oh.” Rey followed the older woman to the living room where a gigantic tree stood in the middle.

Where did her couch go?

The last time she was here it looked like any suburban house and now the living room was turned into some sort of holding area with cocktail tables and a giant Christmas tree. Garlands lined the walls and Christmas lights twinkled above them as soft Christmas songs piped in from the surround-sound speakers she didn’t notice before.

“I may have gone a little over the top,” Leia said ruefully, “I haven’t had a party in so long, I think I got a little too excited.”

“It’s really lovely,” Rey said, “And it looks totally different from when I was here last,” Pictures still hung on the walls though and she couldn’t help but grin at how serious Ben looked in all of them.

“Thank you,” Leia smiled proudly, “I had help of course, but it’s Christmas so I gave the staff a holiday.”

“So, what do you need me to do?”

“Oh, right, we should really finish everything before our guests start arriving.” She clapped her hands and pointed at a large pile of gift boxes, “I _just_ finished wrapping those, could you please arrange them under the tree?”

“Sure,” Rey smiled.

“Thank you, dear, you’re an angel.” Leia patted her shoulder this time, “I’ll go see if Ben’s done. I need him to bring the other gifts down,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben seems like a Disturbed kinda guy. Song is You're Mine by Disturbed :) 
> 
> -X


	77. I Knew I Could Be Whole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have to change up my schedule a bit because I'm literally like six pages ahead of this on my master file :'( (gomen nasai; comic-sama please don't fail me)
> 
> -X

Ben was _sure_ his mom called him over for something other than carrying things. Leia never did things without a reason and he didn’t think heavy lifting was reason enough for her so when she asked him to help him carry more things from upstairs, he knew she was planning something.

Leia Organa-Solo never did things without a reason.

She led him to the master bedroom.

“Please be careful with these some of them are breakable,” She said, gesturing towards the giant canvas bag filled to the brim with wrapped presents.

“Alright, mom, what is this _really_ about?”

“I don’t know what you mean, dear,” She said with that diplomatic _smile._ He scowled and she chuckled, “Oh, alright but I do need you to bring them down though,”

He crossed his arms and arched a brow, waiting.

She rummaged from the bedside table where Han’s picture stood. He frowned at the ache in his chest. His mom never really recovered from Han’s loss. They shouldn’t have decided against chemo. Familiar bitterness welled up in his chest and he squashed it down mercilessly.

He remembered the envelope he had yet to open and guilt replaced the bitterness just as quickly as the latter had sprung.

There was something in her hand. She dropped the old velvet box in his upturned hand. He stared and she arched a brow.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” She asked.

“I’m kind of scared to.” He admitted, “I think I’d rather not know what’s inside.”

“Oh, don’t be chicken. I didn’t raise a coward,”

He held himself back from retorting that no, she didn’t really raise him. He opened the box.

He recognised the floral style halo ring sitting inside. The elevated one-carat diamond caught the light and he remembered sitting by his grandmother’s bedside, watching the rainbow cascading out of it even as she lay old and dying. She never took off that ring since the day a young Anakin had given it to her, only letting it part with her whenever it was due for cleaning and maintenance.

“Mom, what’s this.” His voice sounded hollow in his own ears.

“What does it look like?” She snorted, “Your grandmother would’ve loved her. She’d want you to have it.”

“Mom, we literally just got together.”

She shrugged, “Your grandfather proposed to your grandmother almost as soon as they met. I don’t see what the problem is, and you know how your father and I met,”

Ben ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, still staring at the ring. He moved it a little, the years not at all dimming its ability to catch even a tiny bit of light perfectly. He and his grandfather weren’t really close. He always felt that Anakin blamed Han and by extension him, for Leia leaving home.

He always looked more like his father than his mother.

“Thank you.” He finally said, closing the box and stuffing it deep in his jean pocket. He hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

She touched his arm gently and he flinched, “I know I haven’t been the best mother,” She sighed, “And I should’ve done so many things differently but I _know_ she’d be good for you, and you to her.”

He sighed and grimaced, “Thank you,” He said again and turned away so he could grab the large bag with the gifts, “Where should I bring this?”

“Right by the tree is good,” She said, shaking her head a little, “Rey’s fixing the other gifts but those are for our games. _These_ stay in the bag.”

He nodded and hefted it easily, “Got it.”

“Thank you, Ben.”

He gave her a tight smile and clomped out of the room, leaving her staring ruefully at Han’s photo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the inspo for the ring: 
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e3/ef/13/e3ef13ae0d6f37faa1fb8d8dfbc0a83f.jpg
> 
> https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moissaniterings.com%2Fproducts%2Fvintage-floral-style-halo-engagement-ring-lilly&psig=AOvVaw3_WxrzvOJuvlh07Yxd2lTL&ust=1608926048028000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCNCbq96y5-0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
> 
> -X


	78. The Chewies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one today :< Been a little busy these past few days :'( There will be more Reylo scenes now that they're together :)
> 
> Also, would you prefer I put a warning at the beginning notes if there will be smut or should I leave it as a surprise? 
> 
> -X

There were voices she didn’t recognise coming closer to the living room. She looked up from her perch near the tree and blinked at an odd trio that entered like they owned the place.

One was a lanky, ageing blond in a pale yellow sweater with glasses almost as thick as Maz’s, the one next to him was a dark-skinned wrinkly man standing straight up wearing a white suit and behind them was a literal _giant_ in a plain white t-shirt with a bushy beard and arms as thick as tree trunks.

“Oh my, you’re not the princess,” The blond said in an almost robotic voice, blinking down at her.

Rey stood, “Um,” They were an odd bunch but she couldn’t help but think that they were so _familiar._

“Apologies, my dear,” The wrinkly old man said, “We’re—,”

“Who are you?” The giant grunted, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Um, I’m Rey, hi.”

“Oh, Rey Johnson,” The blond chirped excitedly, “I have heard about you! Resistance’s newest rising star,”

Rey flushed, “Thank you,”

“Ahem, as I was saying, I am Ackbar, this is Pio and this here’s Chewbacca. We’re—,”

“You’re the Chewies,” Rey said, almost dumbly. Chewie the dog barked, thinking it was him she was calling and nudged her hand with his nose. She rubbed his head distractedly.

“Heard of us, have you?” Ackbar laughed hoarsely and then gave a hacking coughed.

“Why are you here so early?” Chewbacca asked, still suspicious, “And what the fuck are you doing on the floor?”

“Oh, um, I was helping Leia arrange the gifts,” She gestured towards the piles of gifts underneath the tree, “I think it’s for a game? There are numbers written on them.”

“Where _is_ the princess anyway?” Pio asked, looking around a little worriedly, “It’s not like her to not come and greet people,”

“Leia and Ben are upstairs getting more gifts,” She stumbled a little when Chewie leaned too heavily against her leg. He let out a soft whine when she stopped petting him and lay down by her feet.

Chewbacca’s bushy brows rose, “Ben _Solo_?” Rey blinked again, in confusion, was there another Ben?

“Yes?”

“Girl, what do you know about Ben Solo?”

“Now, now, Chewie,” Ackbar said placatingly. Chewie the dog barked again and his tongue lolled out.

“Oh! I remember reading on the internet that she’s been spotted a few times with our little Ben,” Pio said, clapping his hands, “People are saying they’re dating,” Rey felt the flush rushing up her cheeks.

Chewbacca snorted, “Tabloids don’t exactly reach the farm. So, are you?”

“Um,” Rey was a notoriously _horrible_ liar especially when put on the spot. She shuffled awkwardly.

“Now, now, Chewie, don’t pressure the poor girl,” Ackbar said. Rey wanted the floor to swallow her up at that moment.

“Admiral!” Leia’s voice booming in the room was a welcome relief, “And Pio and Chewie, you’re here early!”

Leia smiled. Ben stood behind her carrying a large bag of gifts and wearing an unreadable expression on his face.

“Princess!” Pio chirped and gave her a hug, “It’s been a while,”

“Indeed,” Leia chuckled, “Chewie, were you trying to intimidate Rey?” Chewbacca grunted, “Don’t worry about him, dear. He’s grump but he’s harmless.”

Ben ignored them and placed the bag by the tree, “Oh, should I sort them out?” She asked him and he shook his head.

“Benjamin, don’t be rude.” Leia frowned. Rey was the only one who heard his soft sigh as he turned to face the trio.

“You’ve grown,” Ackbar said, nodding approvingly.

“Uncles,” Ben said, inclining his head. Chewbacca crossed his arms and grunted.

“Congratulations on the success of your latest movie,” Pio said, his voice light and almost cheery.

“Thank you,” Ben said mildly, “Should I get the wine or would you gentlemen want something else?”

“It’s way too early for drinking, dear.” Leia said, “We haven’t even let the wine breathe yet.” Rey had no idea what that meant but Ben inclined his head, “What about some coffee, instead?”

“Oh, yes please, I’d like a cappuccino.” Pio said.

Ackbar nodded, “Yes, a cappuccino sounds nice.”

“Black.” Chewbacca grunted and Ben scowled a little.

“I’ll get it,” Rey volunteered.

“No, I’ll do it.” Ben grunted and Leia chuckled.

“Why don’t you two go instead?” She said and Ben grabbed her arm and shuffled away quickly.

She heard Ackbar laugh and say, “They’re definitely dating,” before they turned down the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” She asked once they were in the safety of the kitchen. Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m fine,” He grunted, “I guess I just didn’t expect to see them so early.”

“Did anything happen between you guys?”

He tinkered with Leia’s espresso machine expertly, tamping down the coffee grounds and slotting the thing into place.

She had to get him to teach her how to use one someday.

“Not really but things were…awkward, after dad died. I stopped talking to them.” He said with a sigh, “Uncle Chewie started working in Skywalker farm and…” He shrugged, “I don’t know what the fuck Luke told him.”

He switched out the coffee cups and went to the fridge to get milk.

He had that look on his face that told her that he didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t the time and place. They should be trying to relax and celebrate with his mother.

“No art?” She asked when he poured the frothy milk in the cups.

“I’m not perfect, sweet thing,” He gave her a dimpled half-smile that made her heart skip a beat, “There _are_ things that I can’t do.”

She grinned, “Really, I’m a little disappointed,”

He laughed and leaned over to give her a quick kiss, “Then I guess I’ll have to work a little harder so I don’t disappoint you, hm?”

“Just a little?” She teased.

“I mean, you said _a little_ disappointed,” He chuckled, “Let’s bring these out before they go cold,” 

“Yes, Daddy,” She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed.

“Cheeky,”


	79. Old Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been decided that I would insert warnings at the start for smut😮 Quick q though; what is considered smut? Is it _just_ penetrative sex or...? In any case I'll put warnings on the uh 'all the way' bit only :D 
> 
> -X

Ben relaxed some after handing off the coffees.

“Come sit here, dear.” Leia said, gesturing next to her and he hesitated.

“Can we talk first?” He asked and her brows rose up, “I just need to talk to you about something.” Rey was already in deep conversation with Pio about the intricacies of music.

“Sure,” Leia said and excused herself.

Chewbacca was still eyeing him strangely.

“What is it?” She asked once they were out of earshot.

“I invited Phasma,” He started.

“Oh, is that all? I don’t mind, dear, I’d like to meet your friends,”

“Yeah but uh, we’re wondering if you’d appear on _Good Evening, America._ ”

Her brows shot up, “On TV? Why?”

He resisted the urge to fidget. This reminded him of the time when he was fifteen and asked if he could go to Vegas for the night with Hux to watch a concert.

She didn’t let him of course and he’d sulked for a week until Han had taught him to drive and he’d proceeded to crash the Falcon.

“Well, we think it would stop the paps from coming or at least stop the press from making wild assumptions. Plus we’d rather have them know what our relationship is on our terms and we think an exclusive interview with you, and me, would be the best solution.”

Leia had that sharp look in her eye and he braced himself for her refusal.

“You won’t be able to announce to the public your relationship with Rey, can you, if I don’t do the interview?” He stiffened, “I understand, of course. The press would try to drag her name and make it look like she’s only in Resistance because of you.”

Ben didn’t answer and Leia chuckled.

“I’ve been in this industry long enough to know that they would do that without blinking and our dear Rey would bear the brunt of it.” She sighed, “I suppose there’s really no point in keeping things a secret. Your father is gone and you’re a big star on your own, without using any of my or your father’s name.”

“So you’ll do it?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” She smiled coolly, “And I can’t wait to talk about my son and his girlfriend, and maybe a little one soon?”

He flushed and looked away, “We haven’t really told anyone yet.”

“Anyone with eyes can see, dear. You have that moony look whenever she’s around.”

He frowned. Did he, really?

There was a knock on the backdoor and Ben frowned. They made their way to the kitchen and opened the door to Hux, Rose, Phasma, Finn and Poe.

“Welcome!” Leia said cheerfully, “Did you all come together?”

“We saw them outside,” Poe said, “I didn’t think they know where the backdoor was so,”

“I take it you’re Finn and Gwen,” Leia stuck her hand out to shake each of theirs, “I’m so glad you can make it. Come in, come in,”

Ben moved to let them in when he saw a flash at the corner of his eye. He scowled and pushed past Rose and Hux to chase after the paparazzi.

“Ben!” Phasma called out. He ignored her and tackled the wiry man to the ground,his camera bounced on the ground and he drew his fist back and landed a solid punch to the jaw, knocking the man out, “Son of a bitch,” Phasma sighed, “I _just_ cleaned up the last one.”

“I see some things never change.” Ben froze at the sound of his voice. He watched as Luke pick up the banged up camera and delete the pictures, “Hello, Ben.”

Ben grimaced and stood.

“Luke, you’re early,” Leia said, approaching hesitantly.

“You shouldn’t be outside,” Luke frowned at her, “Someone else might be lingering,” He herded her back inside and Ben followed a little ways behind.

His knuckles ached.

“Benjamin, really.” Phasma huffed, “I told you to refrain from hitting the paps,” Ben shrugged, “Nothing to say?” She arched a brow, “Is there something I should know?”

“That depends,” Ben grunted, “Are you asking as my PR manager or as a friend?”

“Well, can’t it be both?”

Ben snorted, “That was my uncle.”

“Yes, I figured that,” They made their way back to the living room. Luke was already flitting from person to person to chat and Ben’s jaw tightened when he saw him put an arm around Rey.

“Mom agreed to the interview.”

“Really?” He didn’t have to look at Phasma to know that she was surprised. Leia was notoriously hard to get on interviews, “That’s wonderful news,”

Hux approached them and leaned against the wall next to Ben, “What’s this I hear about news?”

“Leia has agreed to appear on TV.”

“Great,” Hux said, eyeing Luke, “Are you alright, Solo?”

“‘Course I am.” Ben crossed his arms.

Lando and Amilyn had arrived and Leia went to greet them.

Rey fit right in with the people he grew up around. Amilyn had given her a kiss on the cheek and Lando had given her a bear hug.

He missed so much in the last ten years.

Lando spotted him and the old man approached. Ben tensed.

“Benjamin Solo, in the flesh!” He said in his booming voice, “I can’t believe you’re here. Look at you! You’re almost as big as old Chewie now,”

Ben grimaced and took Lando’s offered hand. Lando pulled him forward with surprising strength and gave him a hug, “Man, if only Han could see you now.”

His chest twinged, “I’m sorry I didn’t keep contact,” He said sincerely.

Lando chuckled and patted his arm, “No big deal, boy. I get it, your dad died and you got busy,” He shrugged and turned to Hux, “And if it isn’t Brendol’s boy!”

Hux’s grimace was even more sour than Ben’s, “Mr. Calrissian,” He said stiffly.

Lando laughed again, “Now now, Armitage, I keep telling you to call me Lando.” He patted Hux’s arm too before turning to Phasma, “And who’s this little lady?”

“I assure you, sir, I am by no means ‘little’.” Phasma said. She offered her hand, “Gwendolyn Phasma. A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Calrissian,”

“Likewise, Gwendolyn.” Lando grinned, “Oof, you _are_ tall.” He eyed her standing next to Ben.

Phasma shrugged, “Freak of nature, I suppose.”

Ben chatted with him for a while and changed the subject when the topic inevitably turned to Luke. Lando has always been a good friend of Han and Luke so he had no doubt he knew exactly what happened.

He grimaced.


	80. I'm Burning Inside and We Both Know Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for posting only 1 chapter at a time at the moment but I really, really need to give myself a bit of time to run away from myself (in other words I need time to write more). Thank you for your understanding. _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_ 🔥 
> 
> -X

Leia’s party reminded her of a college party except fancier. The drinks were obviously top shelf and the wine came from a bottle that came in a crate instead of a box. Rey could understand _why_ exactly it was notorious.

And of course she was the perfect host, making sure to talk to everyone about everything. Rey’s respect for her grew; she could never host something like this on her own. More people arrived, producers, directors, indie artists, authors, video game developers, even Maz, which was kind of weird. She never expected her cute little landlady to pop up in a strange almost-steampunk outfit and tackle the giant Chewbacca quite like that.

Her friends were all talking to different people and Ben had disappeared. She slipped out of the dining room where they’d all moved to at around dinner time and breathed a sigh of relief.

It was becoming too noisy inside. Leia even had a karaoke machine set up and Amilyn and Lando were taking turns singing each other’s songs very, _very_ badly.

Where did Ben go?

Almost on cue, her phone rang.

“Turn right,” His voice crooned from the other end of the line. She flushed. This was the first time they’ve actually spoken on the phone. She didn’t quite expect how deep his voice would sound over the phone. She did what he said, “Good girl,”

She shivered and walked towards the door leading to the garage. Was Ben in the garage? Did he want to show her the Falcon?

She yelped when she was jerked into the room _perpendicular_ to the garage door.

“Sh,” He was pressing her against the door.

“Ben,” She shivered a little and ended their call, “So this is where you were hiding?” It was a small room illuminated by a lone bulb. He lifted her up easily to sit her on a washing machine, “Ben!” She hissed.

“What?” He grinned wryly and stepped between her thighs, “Is it wrong to want _some_ peace and privacy?”

“We’re in your mother’s laundry room,” She whispered. What if they were caught? Suddenly it felt like what it would’ve if she’d fooled around in high school, sneaking kisses in utility closets.

But Rey was a good girl, she never did those things.

“Nobody would notice,” He murmured. She didn’t realise how close his face had gotten. The washing machine made her sit almost at eye-level with Ben as he leaned forward with his hands planted on either side of her hips, “I realised I didn’t like to _share,_ ”

He growled a little as he pulled her closer to the edge and slammed his mouth against hers. She whimpered and then moaned when his tongue swept against hers. Her hands snaked up his shoulders and he pulled her even tighter against him. She tugged at his hair and he groaned, pushing against her roughly, like he couldn’t get enough of her.

His mouth tasted like wine, sweet and dark and _sinful_.

It was like her sanity was being pulled away from her, fogging up her mind, intoxicating her completely until there was nothing but how he felt and tasted.

She rolled her hips against his arousal and he groaned again. He pulled away and trailed wet kisses down her throat. She jerked when he flicked his tongue on a spot right under her jaw and couldn’t help but let out a keening moan when he latched on and _sucked_.

She tugged at his hair but he kept nipping and licking and sucking on that one spot. Vaguely she felt his hips moving against hers and she tried to suppress the whimper that tried to escape her mouth.

How could he even know that each time he sucked it felt like electricity was running down her body and straight to her clit? She rubbed against him shamelessly and whimpered when pressed back as he too tried to ease his aching arousal.

The washing machine groaned under her but she couldn’t find it in herself to worry about anyone hearing because he was kissing her again, sloppy, passionate kisses that left her wet and aching and on the verge of _begging_ ‘please, Daddy’.

“Please what, baby?” His voice was rough and thick. Had she said that out loud? “Tell me what you want,”

She shuddered. He was half lying on top of her now, her dress had ridden up and her legs had wrapped around his waist. When did that even happen?

“Daddy—,”

Sharp rapping on the door made them both freeze.

She sucked in a breath, already thinking the worse. What if it was _Leia_?

There was another knock, softer this time, “I _hate_ to interrupt,” Phasma said from the other side of the door, “Truly, I _really_ do hate to interrupt but we might have a problem.”

“What is it, Phas?” Ben called out gruffly and helped Rey off the washing machine. She tried to smooth her dress down and wondered just how debauched she looked. _He_ certainly looked wrecked and her lipstick was smudged all over his mouth. Would they have time to fix themselves? She tried to wipe it off with her thumb, mortified when all she did was smudge it some more.

“Brendol Hux is here.” Phasma said and Ben’s expression darkened.

“Son of a bitch,” He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I did that, I am so sorry (no I'm not) 😂 
> 
> Do you ever just get shookt when speaking to someone on the phone and their voice is just so _deep_?
> 
> -X


	81. Bathroom Confessional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How _did_ Phasma find them? 
> 
> -X

Phasma quickly hid her distress when they slipped out of the laundry room but she couldn’t _quite_ hide the embarrassed flush on her cheeks. She pursed her lips. Rey thought they looked like two kids who were caught making out by a teacher, “You two look a right mess,” She said, “Go clean up and meet us back here in five.” She placed her hands on Rey’s shoulders and steered her to the powder room.

Ben grunted and ran his fingers through his hair before clomping up the stairs, presumably to his old bedroom.

Phasma slipped into the washroom with her to help, “You didn’t happen to bring your lipstick with you, did you?” Rey shook her head and she sighed. As always, she was in a pristine white pantsuit, with a silky red blouse of some sort and red heels. Rey envied her ability to walk around so easily in them, “Well, I suppose it can’t be helped,” She was rubbing tissue on Rey’s mouth.

“I can do that,” Rey said, flushing. She moved to the sink so she can wash off the smudged lipstick.

“You know, Ben and I have been friends for a very long time and I’ve never seen him like this before.” Phasma said. Rey met her eyes through the mirror, “He was always so serious,”

“Have you and Ben ever…,”

“Dated?” Phasma looked like she’s never heard anything more ridiculous in her life and snorted back a laugh, “Goodness, no. We have high regard and respect for one another but that’s it.”

“You met in college?”

“Heard that, did you?” She chuckled, “Yes we did; we had the same Marketing Management class. It’s not everyday I bump into a man I can look straight in the eye. He wasn’t at all intimidated and being as we were always the tallest in class, we were always sat at the back. He wore glasses, you know,”

“He did?” She always thought Ben wearing glasses in _‘Midnight Special’_ was cute.

“Yup. He hated it,” She chuckled, “Kind of hard to play rugby, I mean _football_ , wearing glasses.” She finger combed Rey’s hair, trying to at least tame it into some semblance of decency, “But as I’ve said, he was always so serious. Hux and I had a bet whether he was going to come out as ace or not.”

“So who won the bet?”

“Hux did, of course,” Phasma chuckled, “Hux always knew Ben best. Ben was very choosy with his women but he _did_ choose, so technically, I lost. Then, we had a bet on what kind of girl Ben would like.”

“Did you lose too?”

“Oh no, this time _I_ won. Armitage has always been very dense in relationships. I blame his father for that. He said Ben would like someone refined and elegant, tall like he is. I said he was a bloody idiot who didn’t know a thing about romance.” Rey laughed a little at this, “I knew Ben would go with someone small and cute and cheerful, most definitely younger and almost innocent but not quite. Someone like you.”

“How did you know that?” Rey frowned at her reflection and wondered if anyone would notice her considerable lack of lipstick.

“Well, I’m his PR manager for a reason.” She shrugged, “He always liked taking care of people even if he tried not to let it show, and _you,_ my dear, are _screaming_ for someone to take care of you.” She pinched Rey’s cheek, making her flush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles suck: Y suggested 'You Must Be This Tall to Ride' but that implies something very, very wrong. 
> 
> -X


	82. Lipstick and Logic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two today (yay!) because continuity and also I managed to write ahead of myself ehe. 
> 
> -X

Of all the times Brendol Hux would deign to appear at a house party, it had to be now. Leia must’ve invited him as she always did out of respect for the man who took her son in whenever they were out on tour. They never expected him to actually attend. He never did. At least, until now.

He sighed and did a double-take when he saw exactly how much lipstick was on his face. His lip twitched up and he regretted that he had to rub it off. He kind of liked how it looked.

Speaking of which, it really _wasn’t_ coming off that easy. What the fuck did she use it’s amazing how it just kind of smudges around.

He frowned and adjusted his suddenly-too-tight jeans.

By the time he _did_ manage to rub off most of it, his skin was pink and a little raw. He just hoped nobody would notice.

He stalked down the stairs again where Rey and Phasma were already waiting. She looked a lot more put together than he felt.

“Good enough, I suppose,” Phasma said, “Maybe have a glass of wine or two,”

“I’m driving later so, no.” Ben said, “I’m fine.”

Phasma pursed her lips and nodded stiffly, “They’re in the den. Rey will get Rose out and you handle Hux and his father.”

“Got it.” Ben grimaced and led the way to the den. Leia actually used it more than Han ever did but still, he braced himself before entering.

Brendol Hux was a stocky man with greying red hair and a perpetually stern look on his face and currently he was sitting in front of Han’s desk facing Hux and Rose.

He wasn’t saying anything and neither was Hux. He could see how awkward Rose was sitting and he had no doubt that Brendol had heard that she and Hux were engaged.

“Good evening, Mr. Hux.” Ben said pleasantly as he strolled in. It felt like sacrilege to sit on Han’s chair so he opted to drag one of the stools closer.

“Benjamin, how you’ve grown,” Brendol said in his usual stern monotone.

“Thank you, sir.” Ben inclined his head, “These are our friends, Rey and you know Phasma.”

Rey smiled, “A pleasure to meet you, sir.” She said.

Brendol looked surprised, “You’re British?”

“Ah, yes, although I moved here when I was young.” She laughed. He eyed her intently and Ben’s lips thinned. He placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Didn’t you say mom was looking for you and Rose?” He murmured loud enough that Brendol could hear.

“Right! Rose, Leia said she needed our help in the kitchen,” Rey said, gesturing for Rose, “I hope you don’t mind, Mr. Hux.”

“No, no, it’s alright.” He waved his hand and Rose looked relieved. She stood and murmured an ‘excuse me’ before linking her arm around Rey’s. They excused themselves and left, the three men, and Phasma, staring after them.

“Is she your…,”

“Yes,” Ben said even before Brendol could finish the question, “Yes, she is.”

Hux glanced at him with an arched brow but didn’t say anything.

“I have to say it’s a surprise that you’re here,” Ben said, sitting on the stool and motioning for Phasma to sit on the chair Rose had vacated, “You usually don’t attend these things.”

“Yes,” Brendol nodded, “But I have heard my son, who I haven’t seen in over three years, would be attending so I thought it would be smart to attend.”

Hux had stiffened considerably and wouldn’t look at his father. The last time they met, Rose had been the point of contention between the two and it seems, it still was. Brendol wanted a nice English girl from a good family for his boy and he had made it clear from the start that Rose was just not acceptable for him.

“What do you want?” Hux finally asked, sighing a little, “If you’re here to argue about Rosie again, then we don’t have anything to talk about.”

“Not really, I’m quite surprised you two lasted as long as you did. I hear you proposed,”

Hux shrugged.

“Cutting you off from your inheritance didn’t work and neither did bribing her or her family did,”

Hux shot his father a dirty look, “You did _what_?” Phasma pulled him back down to his seat when he tried to lurch forward.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hux, but did you just say you tried to bribe her and her family to leave Hux, I mean, Armitage?” Ben blinked. People still did that these days?

“Yes.” He replied, unashamed, “I offered quite a large sum, actually but it seems this girl really is quite serious about you. I even said you’re disowned.”

“What did our Rose say?” Phasma asked, her hand still gripping Hux’s tightly to keep him from doing something he’ll regret.

Brendol chuckled, “I believe it went something along the lines of ah, you can shove your money up your ass,”

“ _Rose_ said that to you?” Ben blinked, “Wow,”

“I _was_ impressed, of course, by her spunk. I had her family checked out and it seems Mr.And Mrs. Tico raised two girl in that backwater town,” He shrugged, “Now, I still don’t agree to your relationship but your mother,”

Hux stiffened again and grimaced, “Which mother?”

Brendol scowled, “Your real one, of course,” Hux’s grimace deepened and for a moment he looked strikingly like his father, “She argued for your sake and said she wanted to see you and the possible offspring you two might produce,”

He sounded like he was talking about cattle and not his possible grandchildren, “Maybe a good start would be actually talking to and apologising to Rose,” Ben suggested, “And maybe we can all have dinner together sometime,”

“Wonderful idea, Benjamin.” Phasma nodded, “Both of us could be there, of course, to ah, mediate.”

“An apology wouldn’t be enough for what you did,” Hux sneered, “And I won’t just let you have our child without supervision,”

Brendol was nodding, “Logical, given the circumstances. I wouldn’t expect any less.”

“And if I _hear_ one word against Rose you will never see any of my children until the day you die.”

Phasma looked surprised at the outburst but Brendol was already nodding, as though he expected it, “Logical. I didn’t raise you to be anything other than,” Hux’s lips thinned and he sat back down.

Ben suppressed a sigh. It wasn’t the first time he’s seen the two argue but he hoped it would be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brendol Hux seems like a racist, elitist sort.
> 
> -X


	83. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one tonight! (Because I am catching up to myself again 😞) this one chapter is about 3 pages of my master file.
> 
> -X

“Leia really didn’t call us, did she?” Rose said once they were in the kitchen.

Rey shook her head, “No, Phasma said there was trouble so they told me to come and rescue you,”

“Uh huh, I noticed you and Ben were missing for a while,” There was the usual glint of mischief in her eyes and Rey was glad that she was alright.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Rey spotted the Keurig next to the espresso machine and started fiddling with it.

“Hm,” Rose was smiling and tapping away at her phone, “Really? I thought you promised you’d tell me if you two get together?”

Rey shrugged in what she hoped was a casual gesture, “I did. You want coffee?”

“You’re changing the subject, Rey Rey,” Rose sidled up next to her arm and grinned, “I _know,_ you know.” She showed Rey her phone.

She sucked in a breath at the photo of them in Disneyland. Her arms were thrown around his neck as they kissed, the castle a blur in the background and fireworks were exploding over their heads.

“And you have a hickey on your neck,” Rose snickered when Rey slapped a hand over the spot Ben had been worrying with his teeth earlier, “I can’t believe you’d keep it a secret, Rey!” She pouted, “I thought we were friends?”

“We didn’t tell anyone yet,” Rey finally said, covering Rose’s mouth, “ _Please_ keep it down. You didn’t post anything did you?”

Rose snorted and shook Rey’s hand off, “Of course not, Armie said we have to wait until _after_ Leia’s interview.” Rey breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her neck absentmindedly, “I was always curious though,”

“Hm?”

“How is he?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s always so stiff and serious and kind of mean and grumpy so I have this hypothesis that he’s actually a beast when he lets loose. And since he’s huge…” There was a twinkle in Rose’s eye and Rey flushed at what she was implying.

“I, I have no idea!” Rey squeaked, “We’ve never, I mean, we haven’t,” She turned back to her coffee and started stirring it vigorously.

“What? I really thought you would’ve by now with how you two look at each other!”

“What does that even mean?” Rey giggled hysterically, “You sure you don’t want coffee?”

“Rey, come on, he looks at you like you’re the last piece of triple fudge chocolate cake and he’s a chocoholic, and you look at him like you’re ready to be devoured.” Rey felt her cheeks grow even hotter. She sipped her coffee, “And how can I not notice your lack of lipstick when you were wearing it the whole night? It looked great by the way, what brand is it?”

Before Rey could answer, Luke entered the kitchen, “Oh, hello, ladies!” He smiled cheerfully, “I believe we haven’t been introduced properly, you’re Rose?”

“Um, hi,” Rose smiled a little, “Yes, I’m Rose.” She shook Luke’s hand.

“I’m Luke Skywalker,” He said.

“Yeah, I saw Rey’s Insta post,” She said, “Armie said you’re Ben’s uncle,”

“Ah, yes. Leia and I are twins.” He smiled sheepishly, “I just came in to look for more wine,”

“Oh, we’re out?” Rey placed her cup back on the counter and Luke arched a brow, “I’ll go get some more,”

“We, is it?” Luke chuckled, “It’s alright, I know where it is.” Then he frowned, “I warned you about him,”

Rey stiffened, “And I told you everyone has their issues.”

Luke gave her a wry smile and shook his head, “Well, I’m getting more wine.” He went down the basement and Rose looked at her wide-eyed. Rey fixed another cup of coffee.

“What just happened?”

Rey shook her head and changed the subject, “So what happened with you and Hux’s dad?”

Rose frowned and accepted the coffee, “He doesn’t like me,” She mumbled, “Because I’m Asian and our family’s not rich like he is. He thinks I’m only after Armie’s money,”

Rey frowned too, “What an arse,”

Rose shrugged, “I mean, I’m a nobody from nowhere so I understand where he’s coming from but my parents did not work their asses off to leave Vietnam and send Paige and I to school so he can just…” Her hand tightened around the coffee cup, “He disowned Armie, you know? And I almost broke up with him.”

“Rose…”

“He shouldn’t have to lose everything for me,” Rey moved to wrap her arm around Rose. Luke reappeared and inclined his head at them and left with a bottle of wine without saying a word, “Sorry, I’m just…”

“Rose,” She said, “He wouldn’t lose everything. It’s just money. He has you,”

“That’s what he said too!” Rose laughed and leaned her head on Rey’s shoulder, “He’s given me so much, you know? And if we didn’t meet I wouldn’t have met you!”

“Hey, there you two are!” Poe came in with a grin, “What’s happening? And Rey what happened to your lipstick?”

Rey flushed and cleared her throat, “Um, it got smudged,” Rose snorted back a laugh and she elbowed her on the rib.

“What’s going on?” Finn asked, “And I have to say that wine going around out there is _great_ but now I really need coffee. Can we mess around with that?”

“Why use the Keurig when there’s a perfectly good espresso machine right there?” Poe threw his arm around Finn’s shoulder, “And was that Brendol Hux I saw just now?”

“Yes,” Rey said, “And I’m sorry, I don’t know how to work an espresso machine.”

“Same,” Finn said with a shrug, “We didn’t come from rich folk like you,”

“Ouch, I actually trained for that,” Poe said, “I worked as a barista in Starbucks for a while you know,”

“So what’s happening?” Finn sidled up on the other side of Rose while Poe went to tinker with the espresso machine.

“Just, you know, future parental-in-law objections,” Rose laughed but it sounded a little forced, “Luke Skywalker popped by just now to get more wine,” Poe almost dropped the coffee cup.

“What is it?” Rey asked.

Poe sighed heavily, “I don’t know if your boy mentioned it already but he and Luke had a fight way back when.”

“Oh you already moved here then from Miami, haven’t you?” Finn asked, “I know your parents worked with Solo’s.”

“Yeah, I was still pretty young at the time. We moved here around the same time but he was older so he and Hugs got along better than _we_ ever did. I think he was about fifteen or sixteen when he had that fight. I heard _mamá_ and _papá_ talking about it.”

“Did you know what it was about?” Rose asked.

“Nah, and Solo looked like hell when he came back so I didn’t want to ask. Hux might know though,”

“He never told me anything,” Rose said, “He’s actually more secretive about Ben than with himself,”

Poe handed the latte, complete with a foam heart, to Finn who grinned and blew him a kiss, “So, sunshine,” Rey stiffened, “Is there something you want to tell us?”

“No?” Rey didn’t look at him, “Is there something I should tell you?”

“Hm,” Poe arched a brow and placed his arms on the counter on either side of Rey. Rose moved a little away from her and looked away innocently, “I don’t know, sunshine, there’s something _off_ about you since you left with Solo yesterday.”

Has it really only been yesterday? Yesterday felt like such a long time ago.

“He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Finn asked with a frown, “I mean, he doesn’t seem like the type but…”

“No, of course not,” Rey scowled, “He’d never do something like _that_.”

“Never?” Poe arched a brow, “You sound very defensive there, sunshine.”

“What in blazes are you doing, Dameron?” Phasma’s heels clacked loudly against the marble tile floor of the kitchen, “That counts as sexual harassment, you know.”

Poe straightened and snorted, “Please, I am happily engaged. Where’s Hugs?”

“Escorting Brendol Hux out,” Ben crossed his arms. He was frowning.

“He’s leaving already?” Poe arched a brow, “Not that I expected him to stay very long anyway,”

“I didn’t see you trying to help,” Ben arched a brow and Poe snorted and crossed his arms too.

“Oh bitch please, Solo. Do you really think I’d be able to help? I’m a Guatemalan guy who’s engaged to a man.”

“Who’s black,” Finn added as he took a sip from his coffee.

“Who is also black, yes,” Poe nodded at him, “He only tolerated me hanging out with you two because my parents are rich and worked with yours.”

“How did it go?” Rose asked worriedly.

“Fine, surprisingly,” Phasma answered, “We’ll set up a meeting, I mean, a _dinner_ , with him and you and Hux. Of course, Ben and I will be there to mediate.”

Rose nodded solemnly.

Ben met Rey’s eyes and his lip twitched up a little.

“Here you all are,” Hux finally appeared. He sighed heavily and rolled his sleeves up. He went straight to Rose to hold her, “Luke Skywalker ambushed me on the way here,”

Ben stiffened and narrowed his eyes, “What the fuck did he want?” He snarled.

“He showed me an article TMZ released about an hour ago.” Hux sighed again and leaned against the counter, still holding Rose with her back pressed to his front.

Phasma sighed too, “Don’t tell me, it’s something along the lines of, _Ben Solo has a violent temper_ or something,”

Hux pointed his index finger at her and buried his face on Rose’s shoulder, _bingo_.

Phasma made a disgusted sound and started tapping away at her phone, “Everybody has been posting live about what’s happening and who’s here, yes?”

Everyone except Ben said ‘yes’.

“I posted pictures of literally _everyone_ ,” Rose said, “And I saw Rey’s photo with The Chewies was getting popular. They’re still pretty relevant even though they stopped performing after…” She paused and glanced at Ben before clearing her throat and continuing, “Anyway, they still have a lot of fans.”

Rey was nodding, “Even on Instagram, actually. Usually it’s just on Twitter.”

“Rey’s social media accounts _have_ been getting more interest lately, especially after you two have been seen together a few times,” Poe told Ben, “You’re really good for reputation building, you know?”

Rey flushed, “That’s not why we’re friends,”

Poe chuckled, “Of course not, sunshine. Everyone knows that.”

Ben shrugged.

“I have an idea,” Phasma eyed Ben calculatingly and he grimaced.


	84. Oh No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that chapter title is because 1. I'm only about five pages ahead of myself in my master doc (oh no; so only one tonight I'm sorry) and also 2. That's Ben's reaction to Phasma's plan.
> 
> I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ASK: What exactly made you guys read/click on this fic? Just out of curiosity because I know I'm shit at summaries and I'd like to know what it was that pulled you in here and what kind of tags people generally look for.
> 
> -X

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Ben mumbled. He wanted to hold Rey how Hux was holding Rose. His frown deepened, what the fuck was Poe Dameron doing anyway?

“I’m sure,” Phasma chuckled and a shiver ran down his spine. Whenever Phasma laughed like that, he knew it would involve him doing something he really did not want to do. What was she thinking?

“What is it?” He sighed.

“We’re going to offset this by showing the _opposite_ of what they’re trying to do, of course.”

“Man, why does TMZ have a hard on whenever it’s you?” Finn shook his head, “I mean, I know you’re hot and all but there are other actors too,”

“Right? I mean, Tom Hiddleston’s hot too, why does _no one_ try to find anything bad about him?” Rose added, “Not that there seem to be anything remotely bad about him but,” She shrugged.

“He dated Taylor Swift,” Poe said, “That’s about the juiciest thing they could find,”

“Ben on the other hand,” Hux sighed, “Well, you’re a mess, Solo, no offence.”

Ben scowled. No he wasn’t.

“So what is this plan and how can we help?” Poe asked.

Phasma smiled pleasantly and another shiver ran down his spine. Phasma would’ve made a scary as fuck demoness who would smile before throwing you to the wolves to get torn to pieces.

“You mentioned how The Chewies are still a hot topic after all these years, correct?” Rey nodded, “Well, I was thinking we can have them perform. It might be a little risky but I don’t think our Ben looks _too_ much like his father for anyone to notice.”

“Wait, you want Ben to perform with The Chewies?” Hux’s brows rose, “We’re going to have Leia and Ben on TV right after New Years wouldn’t people _guess_ that they’re related? I mean, they’re both _Solos_.”

“Well yes, they might make the connection but really, what better buzz to create for the interview? Besides, nobody knows Han was even married, and we won’t be sharing the _whole_ performance. Just a quick thirty-seconder and a few pictures. We can say Ben’s a long-time fan,”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Ben blinked. He can’t perform with _The Chewies_. Han always did the vocals and though he knew the songs by heart but he couldn’t perform as Han’s substitute. It’s always been _Han_ and The Chewies. He’s always been the one to keep everyone together, “I can’t sing,”

Phasma snorted, “Yes, you can.”

“Wait, Ben Solo sings?” Finn asked, surprised.

“Of course,” Poe laughed, “I mean his parents are musical geniuses and from what I hear his grandpa was too.”

Rey met his eyes and his chest ached at the worry he saw in them.

“We can just let it be,” He suggested, “I mean it’s not the first time and usually it just blows over after a few days,”

“Yeah, I think you might want to deal with this the soonest,” Poe mumbled. He was reading the article on his phone, “Jesus, this is borderline libel. Sunshine, take a look at your Twitter account, please.”

Rey frowned and opened it on her phone. She paled.

“What is it?” He opened his too and frowned at the mentions.

_@That_British_Girl, @BenSolo didn’t hurt you, did he? #NoMeansNo #AreYouOkay? #NoReylo_

_Is @BenSolo really violent? Did he force you to do anything? @That_British_Girl #AreYouOkay?_

_Are you together right now? @That_British_Girl #AreYouOkay?_

_I knew it, he’s too much for our baby princess!!! @BenSolo is a monster @That_British_Girl are you okay???_

“Son of a bitch,” Ben muttered, “How did I turn into _this_ this time?”

“You really have to ask?” Phasma sighed, “I told you not to keep hitting the paps.”

“Rey?” Poe met Rey’s eyes and they shared some form of silent communication and she nodded.

His phone buzzed and he saw that she’d replied.

_I’m okay! @BenSolo is a great guy, please don’t believe pointless rumours. He’s at a party right now with me and @FN-2187 @PilotDameron @rosieposie @ABHux at the boss’s place! #ChristmasParty #FirstPartyInYears #NoToFalseJournalism_

“Alright, huddle up,” Poe clapped his hands and everyone moved like they were all part of a play he had no idea about. Phasma pulled him in while Rey took the selfie with a huge grin. She started tapping on her phone quickly.

His phone buzzed again, this time it was Instagram. She’d posted it on her story with a bunch of hearts, the time and a caption that says _‘Late-night coffee with this bunch @ the boss’s gorgeous kitchen!’_

Not that they could see the actual kitchen.

He wasn’t sure how that would help but Phasma seemed content.

“I should get a professional fee for this,” Poe said, “But we’re all family, aren’t we?”

“Thanks for the assist,” Phasma inclined her head, “Now, about that performance.”

Ben was shaking his head, “I _can’t_.”

“What are you talking about, Solo? You’re a great singer.” Hux said, “And I’ve heard you loads of times to know you would’ve gone big if you went in your father’s footsteps.”

He grimaced.

“We can only do so much distraction. We need something big and not a lot of people actually know you sing.” Phasma said.

“I hate to agree,” Hux sighed, “But I can’t really think of anything that would be big enough aside from telling people your mother’s Leia Organa and your father’s Han Solo or outing your…” He didn’t continue and cleared his throat, “Anyway, there really isn’t much choice.”

“Outing what?” Finn arched a brow, “What were you about to say there, Hugs?”

“Nothing.” Hux grunted and Rose snorted back a laugh.

“Hm?” Poe eyed Rey who was avoiding eye contact.

Ben groaned, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Wonderful! I knew you’d see things my way,” Phasma chuckled, “Come on, we have work to do.”

He met Rey’s eyes again and she smiled reassuringly.

He breathed out a nervous sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is that for an 'oh no'?


	85. You Shine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! May 2021 be better and brighter for all of us. (And also please hope that I have more time so I can start double and triple posting again).
> 
> -X

Pio and Ackbar were more than happy to perform with Ben. Chewbacca was a different story. Luke had been there too and he had arched a brow.

Leia beamed when they told her and said that she still had instruments in the garage. They’d just have to move The Falcon to fit everybody.

Chewbacca grumbled and Maz smacked his arm. He grumbled again but agreed.

“Ooo, I can’t wait to hear _this_.” Lando laughed, “I had high hopes for you, you know.” Ben grimaced, “But you’re a pretty good actor so,” He shrugged.

“He always acted like such a brat,” Amilyn whispered to Rey, “But he had the voice of an angel.”

Rey wasn’t sure if she agreed. To her he sounded more like the devil himself, whispering so sweetly in her ear, tempting her.

He was tuning a beat-up vintage brown Stratocaster while Ackbar tuned the bass. Chewbacca set up the drums and Pio assembled the mics.

Leia’s couch was pushed up against one wall and Leia had wrestled Rey, Rose and Amilyn on it somehow. The rest, she said, can remain standing.

The garage itself was big enough for three cars so they didn’t have to move The Falcon too far. Rey eyed the big dent on the wing and wondered why it was never fixed. She’d have to ask Ben when she got the chance.

“This is exciting, isn’t it?” Luke said, standing by where Leia sat.

“Mm,” Leia was smiling, “Have you heard Ben sing before, dear?”

“U-um, yes, yes I have.” Rey stammered a little and flushed.

“Oh?” Luke’s brows shot up.

“Oh, don’t tease the poor girl,” Leia shushed him, “That Gwen is very domineering,”

They all turned to Phasma as she ordered four grown men around with ease. She had her phone out. What song they were to perform was a surprise, she said.

Rey was more concerned at how awkward and tense Ben was and the way he was looking at the guitar broke her heart. He’d gone pale when Leia handed him the old Fender and looked like he didn’t even want to _touch_ the thing, like he was scared that he’d break it. He shuffled uneasily.

“Alright, we’re ready,” Phasma announced. Pio let out a riff on the glittery blue and white key-tar and giggled when Phasma scowled at him. She cleared her throat and gave a brief rundown of what she wanted to happen.

Posting on social media accounts is a _must,_ she said, to divert the attention to Ben’s surprising skill with music instead of his more violent tendencies with the paparazzi. It would, incidentally, coincide with Resistance and Jessika Pava’s announcement that there will be an interview with _the_ Leia Organa who’d somehow gotten Ben Solo to sing at her party just the night before. 

“Again, nothing longer than thirty seconds. I _will_ be monitoring this,” There was a murmur of agreement, “And you _must_ tag Ben Solo, Leia Organa and the official accounts of Resistance and First Order, and use the hashtags Ben Solo Sings, Resistance Christmas Party, and The Chewies.” 

There was another murmur of agreement and Rey started recording.

Ben plucked the first mournful note of the song.

“Oh,” Rey heard Leia gasp softly.

 _‘Speechless, that’s what I was,’_ Ben’s throaty voice sent shivers down her spine, ‘ _Standing on the edge, I was on top of the world, doing whatever I want. There you stood in the crowd, shining so bright. Baby, you took my breath away.’_

It was considered the only love song Han Solo ever wrote. At the time it raised so many questions; who was it addressed to? Who was the ‘you’ he was talking to? Theories abounded but nothing ever came out of it. After that it was taken as fact that Han had written it with no one in mind, dedicating the song to the women who attended the concerts so they feel that he was talking to them, to make them all feel special.

Leia clutched the chain necklace around her neck; it ended with a golden die and latched together to form a pair. She looked as though she wasn’t even there in that moment but somewhere deep inside her memories.

‘ _Baby, even the stars have nothing on you,’_ Ben met her eyes briefly and for a moment it was like there was nobody else in the room but them, _‘Cause you shine,’_

She chewed the inside of her lip. Chewbacca did a short solo and Ben looked away, focusing instead on the complicated set of riffs that served as the bridge. His brows furrowed in concentration and she could almost see the beads of sweat on his brow.

 _‘You gave me hope and scared the demons that lurked in my head,_ ’

Ben had such an amazing range of voices from his usual clear tenor to rough, gritty, guttural growls, and now, he sounded so smooth and deep and powerful, bringing life back to a song written by a man in love that hadn’t been sung in decades.

There was a hush when the song ended with the same mournful note that started it. Rey ended the video, breathless. She saw Leia wipe a tear away discreetly, and then, a roaring applause.

Heart pounding, she clapped as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that is not an actual song because it feels very wrong to use someone else's and if there are any songwriters/singers on here I am _so_ sorry because I am definitely not well-versed in songwriting.
> 
> -X


	86. You Chase Away The Demons In My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Thank you all for the very kind comments 😊 🔥 
> 
> -X

Ben looked at the dirty garage floor and carefully replaced his father’s guitar on its stand.

“My word, Ben,” Pio laughed and patted his back, “You sang that almost better than Han,”

Ben grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck, murmuring a thanks. His throat felt itchy. He gave it his all to sing that song. It had been a surprise for his mother; Han had told him the story during one of the times he’d forced Ben to work on The Falcon with him. He wrote the song right after he met Leia and only let it see the light of the world on their fifteenth anniversary.

How he’d kept it a secret from Leia for fifteen years had always been a mystery.

Ben had rolled his eyes, wondering just exactly how _cheesy_ and _lame_ his father could be.

He was such a dick.

He glanced at Rey, the ache in his chest intensifying. He understood now, what Han had felt all those years ago.

“Wonderful job, Benjamin!” Ackbar slapped his lower back; he couldn’t really reach any higher, “It takes me back. We should do it again sometime. Don’t you think so, Chewie?”

Chewbacca, as usual, grunted. Ben still wasn’t sure what Luke told him about their argument but it seems Han’s best friend was firmly _against_ him.

At least, he thought so until he patted his shoulder before walking away to speak with Leia.

He rubbed the back of his neck again and sighed when more people approached. Lando had handed him a bottle of water, smiling a smile that told him that he understood the roiling jumble of emotion currently making him dizzy and unable to breathe.

He never sang any of his father’s songs before, not even when he’d been alive.

“Alright, kindly start posting your thirty-seconders, and I cannot stress enough that it _must_ be no more than thirty seconds. First Order will be posting a full video once we’ve acquired permission from both Resistance and the independent parties.” Phasma of course was still shouting orders like some sort of general.

Pio and Ackbar were already giving their consent. Ben was actually surprised Phasma didn’t have her iPad with her so she could have them sign an agreement on the spot.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he ignored it.

Rey finally approached, smiling. His heart leapt. It wasn’t the first time she’d heard him sing, he actually sang a lot with her around, but it was the first time she’d seen him with an actual band.

“You were amazing,” She said, handing him a handkerchief.

“Thanks,” His fingers brushed against hers when he took the cheerful floral cloth from her. She blushed and looked down. He wiped his forehead and gulped some more water. His sweater felt unbearably hot in the packed garage. He could only imagine what it felt to actually be singing onstage. The plays he’d acted in was already hot enough in costume but performing live onstage in a crowded music hall with all those glaring lights would’ve been hell.

“It’s getting hot, innit?” She said, smiling a little, “Maybe we can go somewhere with a window so you can cool off?”

Where could they possibly go without the paps actually getting a shot of them? He grabbed her hand and led her back into the house while everyone was still busy posting and tagging and summoning up a storm online.

“Where are we going?” She asked as he led her upstairs. She hesitated, “It’s a little weird to go up the family rooms, isn’t it?”

“They’ll probably be too busy to notice.” He said, “But I don’t know where else we can go without being seen,”

He let her in his old room and fidgeted a little. His old band posters were still on the walls and the practice calligraphy he’d tacked haphazardly long ago were now framed and hanging on the wall over his desk. Leia had kept the room clean and immaculate in the unlikely event that he’d come and stay over. He’d long ago outgrown the queen bed that still had the AC/DC sheets covering it.

“You must’ve really loved AC/DC,” She said, giggling. He shrugged and opened the window, letting the cool winter air in. This room looked more lived in than his current home. He sat next to her on the bed, “So this is where you stayed while growing up,” She took it all in with wide-eyes. He hadn’t opened the lights so only the lights filtering in from outside illuminated their surroundings.

 _And she shone_.

He tucked her hair behind her ear and she smiled.

“You’re beautiful,” He murmured, tracing her jawline, mesmerised by the freckles dusting her nose. She flushed but didn’t look away. _I love you._

She took the hand that was still tracing her cheek and squeezed, “How are you?” How could she have known?

“I’m fine,” He said almost automatically and she frowned. He sighed and looked away, “It’s a lot.” He said thickly, “I never…I never sang any of his songs before.” She was still holding his hand, with both of hers now, on her lap, “At first I just thought it was lame, you know?” He grimaced, “What kid doesn’t think their parents are lame?” She smiled a little, “And when he got sick I just…it didn’t feel right.”

“So did it?” She asked, “Feel wrong?”

He shook his head and she smiled.

 _‘Cause baby you shine_. _You chase away the demons in my head.’_

“I’m sure he would’ve loved to hear you,” He met her eyes and smiled too.

“Thank you.” He whispered, his eyes flicking down to her still-smiling lips. He leaned closer.

She met his desperate kiss eagerly and dropped his hand so she could wrap her arms around his neck. He groaned and lifted her easily by the waist to settle her on his lap. Why is it that his control was always so frail whenever they were alone? Her dress rode up and he ran his fingers up her thighs. The wind blew in and he felt the goosebumps rising on her exposed skin.

He wanted to trail kisses up her thighs and bury his face between them.

Her lips always tasted so sweet and his tongue delved deeper, seeking out hers, still trying to figure out just _what_ the drugging taste actually was. Her whimper made his cock twitch and he remembered belatedly the box in his pocket. Would she be able to feel it pressing against her thigh?

He pulled her closer, his hands gripping her thighs tight. He didn’t think she realised how she’d started canting her hips to rub against him. He groaned pulling away so they could _breathe_.

She gasped and he pressed kisses down her throat, flicking his tongue against the small, purpling bruise below her jaw. Had anyone noticed it yet? Would some eagle-eye fan spot it in the many pictures they took?

Half of him wanted people to know, to find out that he’d been the one to put the mark there.

“Ben,” His name was a sigh. She tangled her fingers in his hair and tugged. His cock jerked again and he groaned.

“Do you think it’d be rude if we left now?” He growled and she laughed a little breathlessly.

“Ma-maybe,” He gripped her hips and ground her down against him. She moaned. He swore he could feel the heat of her pussy through her underwear and his jeans, “Wouldn’t, wouldn’t people start to wonder where we are?”

“Soon,” He murmured and caught her lips again. Still so wonderfully sweet. He didn’t even know how much he loved sweet things until he tasted her lips, “We should go home soon,” He murmured and nipped her ear. She shivered, “Look at me,” Her eyes were glassy and glazed, her lips kiss-swollen, “You are so beautiful, baby.” She shivered. Her lips were soft and pliant under his and he closed his eyes.

He pulled her hips closer and she leaned back, simultaneously pulling away and dragging him closer by the hair, like she couldn’t decide what exactly she wanted to do. His cock throbbed with a familiar ache. He groaned when she ground down against him. He pulled away with a ragged gasp.

“Baby,” He groaned, “Fuck baby, you’re killing me,” She bit her lower lip and he almost whimpered. Anybody who’d see them would know exactly just what the fuck they’d been doing, “I can’t wait to get you home.”

She shuddered and he leaned forward to nip at her throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there!!! And the language might be coarser than normal because it's in the line of thinking of Ben. Let me know though if it's too graphic (or not at all and I should amp it up a bit, whichever works)
> 
> -X


	87. First Touch Was Too Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyric is from AC/DC's 'Love At First Feel'. Minor 🔥 
> 
> -X

They really should go back down and make an appearance before saying goodbye. Would it really be okay to leave? There were still so many people and Ben was still Leia’s son and technically one of the hosts.

Not that he’d been doing a very good job of it in the first place.

Still, she couldn’t help but be drawn back to his lips. She could feel how his stomach tensed against her as he supported her weight with his arms. How they ended up in this position she wasn’t sure but she loved how desperately he sought her out, pulling her close and stretching forward so he could reach her mouth.

It was like he couldn’t get enough of her and neither could she.

Heat and tension swirled in her stomach and with every teasing nip on her throat she felt herself getting wetter and wetter.

She whimpered a little and rubbed against him shamelessly. His deep groan was like music to her ears.

“Daddy, please,” She whispered in his ear and he let out a strangled groan. His fingers dug into her hips.

It was a little strange how she wasn’t nearly as embarrassed as she should be but he never gave her a reason to be ashamed of herself. His large hands were jerking her hips back and forth against him and she leaned back a little to look at his face.

His cheeks flushed and his eyes were dazed. He was biting his lower lip and when she rolled her hips against his eyes rolled back.

 _“Fuck.”_ He hissed.

“Should we go home?” She panted in between kisses. He groaned out a ‘yes’ and gave her another drugging kiss.

He pulled away, “You should go down first,” He said breathlessly, eyeing her with hooded eyes. She shivered, “I need to…,” He cleared his throat and she felt him twitch between her thighs, “I need to cool off a little,” He laughed softly and ran his fingers through his tangled hair, “Christ.”

She couldn’t help but giggle, “Okay,” She whispered and pressed a chaste kiss on his already swollen lips. She was sure she looked similar, if not worse than he did, “Let me just use the toilet real quick,”

She slid off of him and went to the ensuite bathroom. She could feel his gaze on her back and she suppressed a shiver. She met his eyes once before closing the door.

Then, she leaned against the door and let out a stuttering breath as she tried to calm her racing heart. What was _that_? Seriously, how is it that they’ve only _just_ started dating the night before? They haven’t even actually gone out on a date and they’re already ready to jump in bed together.

Not that she’s complaining. She’s never had a boyfriend as passionate and intense as Ben Solo. She quite liked it. He always seemed so calm and collected, a perfect gentleman really, but the moment they were alone with the door closed it was like whatever thin hold he has over himself just _snaps._

Speaking of, _did_ they even close the door to his room?

She turned squeaked when she saw herself in the mirror. Her lips were pink and raw and swollen, her hair looked like a hurricane went through it and she could see the start of more marks on her neck. She bit her lip and washed her face.

People would _know_. A thrill ran down her spine at the thought. She really wanted people to know that she was his and he was hers. She finger-combed her hair and hoped that it was tamed enough for people not to notice.

She also hoped that people downstairs were too drunk to even care.

He was still on the bed when she came out, still looking as wrecked as she felt. He smiled, his dimples winking, and she flushed.

“I’ll be down in about five, I think,” He rasped and caught her hand when she passed. She caught a glimpse of the impressive bulge on the front of his jeans and his smile widened, “Baby, if you keep looking at me like that we might end up spending the night here, after all.”

She squeaked and looked away, heat suffusing her cheeks again, “I-I’ll wait for you downstairs,” She stammered. She pulled her hand but he didn’t let go, “Ben?”

“Gimme a kiss first, sweet thing,” The heat in his eyes threatened to burn her but it drew her in anyway. She leaned down.

The peck she’d intended to give him turned into a deep, languorous kiss that took her breath away. She pulled away reluctantly, biting her lower lip, “We won’t be able to leave if we keep doing that,” She mumbled and he chuckled.

“You’re right,” He said, tucking her hair back behind her ear, “Wait for me downstairs.”

“Okay,” She could still feel his gaze on her back when she left.

Sneaking down the stairs felt a little like she’d snuck out to spend the night with her boyfriend. She’d looked left and right and over and under and jumped at the slightest sound. It seemed everyone was still in the living room. Music was playing and she could hear laughter and more than one glass clinking together.

“Rey!” She jumped and yelped, “Jesus, baby girl,” Finn laughed and Rey scowled at him, “Right, right, sorry. Don’t call you that,” He grinned, “We were _just_ looking for you. Poe’s drunk a little too much so we’re heading out. Trust me, you _wouldn’t_ want to see him do a strip dance on Leia’s coffee table.”

“I’m sure you would though,” Rey laughed.

“Well of course,” Finn laughed too. If he noticed anything, he didn’t say, “So I was going to ask if you needed me to drive you home? Or is Solo going to bring you?” He smiled wryly and she couldn’t help but blush.

“Ben’s taking me home.”

“I figured,” He ruffled her hair, “Princess Rey’s growing up.” There was a loud crash and Finn winced, “I think that might be Poe. I should probably go get him,”

“Do you need help?” She asked and he shook his head, “I’m good, Bey. I can still carry him,” She followed him into the living room where they found Poe sitting on the rug. He grinned at them.

“ _Papi,_ there you are,” Rey tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t. She snorted. Poe gave her a little moue, “Oh don’t me, sunshine. You have your Daddy, I have my _Papi_.”

The crowd that had formed around them laughed and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to too or if she wanted to smack him to bits.

“Get your ass off the floor, Poe.” Leia appeared next to her, laughing, “That rug was a gift, I don’t want you vomiting on it.”

He grinned some more and pretended to gag before laughing and hauling himself off the floor, “Just kidding,” He said, “You know I love you too much to do that to you,”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Leia said sagely, “Now go to _Papi_ and go home,”

Rey snorted again and covered her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh. Finn’s face shone, stunned and a little embarrassed by Leia’s teasing. He shouldered most of Poe’s weight and laughed when he planted a wet smooch on his cheek.

“Drive safe,” Rey said and Finn grinned at her.

She watched them leave.

“I assume you’ll be on your way soon, too?” It sounded more like a statement than a question. Rey flushed and looked away.

“Um, yes, I, I think so.”She stuttered and Leia chuckled. She placed a hand on her arm.

“Don’t worry, dear, despite what he thinks I know my son. He won’t hurt you but if he _ever_ does something stupid and hurt you, you call me.” Rey sucked in a breath. It felt like her whole face was red now, “It’s a pity you had to wash off your lipstick. It was such a nice shade on you. You _would_ go with us to the interview, wouldn’t you?” She led Rey back to the kitchen and handed her a mug of tea, “I assume Ben already asked.”

“Yes,” She squeaked and took a sip.

“Good. He would need the support, I think. He doesn’t nearly have enough support,” She sighed and fixed herself a mug too, “I’m afraid that’s my fault so I hope you’ll help him.”

“Um,” Rey wasn’t sure what to say, really, “I’ll try my best?”

“That’s all I’m asking, dear. I can see how happy he is with you.” She smiled, “If you’re with him I can rest easy.”

“There you are,” She shivered when he heard his voice, deep and still a little rough, “Mom,”

Leia smiled widely, “Hello, dear. Where have you been? I haven’t had the chance to tell you how amazing you were. Of course, I always knew you would be,”

He went to stand next to Rey looking a lot cleaner and put together than she was, “Thanks.” He rubbed the back of his neck. She offered him her cup and he gave her a tight smile before taking it and taking a distracted sip. Leia’s smile widened.

“You two make such a lovely picture,” She chuckled. Ben arched a brow.

“Where’d everyone go?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Your uncle Lando went home,” Leia said, “Amilyn’s staying over the night though and I believe you might see your uncle Chewie at Rey’s building.”

Rey’s eyes widened, “Maz and Mr. Chewbacca are a _couple_?”

Leia said ‘yes’ the same time Ben said ‘not really’. She looked at the two of them with confusion.

Leia laughed, “Maz was a very big fan of the band back in the day and she always only had eyes for Chewie. They’re not exactly a couple but they’re not…not a couple either.”

She blinked and Ben sighed, “They’re like a weird on again, off again, couple.” He said and handed the mug back to her, “We should go soon,” She took another sip.

Leia was nodding, “Go, it’s getting late anyway.”

“Thanks for having us, mom.”

Leia rolled her eyes and stood on her toes to pat his cheek, “You’re my son, Ben, you’re always welcome.”

He looked away and cleared his throat, “We’ll go and say ‘bye’ to people,”

She waved them away and Rey gave Leia a small smile before putting the now-empty mug down on the counter. She followed Ben back into the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there I promise 🥺 They have to go home first (and also I have to write the next bits hehe) Thank you for your patience! hehe. (Also I really love the comments they really keep me going and I really love hearing your thoughts!) Also not sure if ya'll notice but I use 🔥 as a subtle warning hehe. 
> 
> -X


	88. Love At First Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben tried. 
> 
> -X

It took another half an hour to say goodbye to everyone and Ben tried not to let his impatience show. He wasn’t really doing a very good job of it judging from the amused look Hux had given him.

“We shall see you next year,” Phasma said, “Enjoy the holidays,” He scowled at the glint in her eyes and she chuckled. He ushered Rey out the backdoor and together they walked back to his car.

He linked their fingers together and she looked up, surprised, “This is fine, right?” He murmured, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. He felt her shiver, “There probably aren’t any people around anymore who’d see.”

Her smile was bright and he wanted to lean down to give her a kiss. He didn’t even think he was one for showing affection publicly but with her, it was like he couldn’t help it.

Their walk was dismally short. He helped her get on the truck and stole a quick kiss. She gasped and flushed. He grinned and gave her a wink before going around to the driver’s side.

The air felt heavy and thick, almost oppressive in its heat. His condo was nearer. He told her so and she’d flushed when she realised the implication. His hand on the steering wheel tightened, “We don’t have to do anything,” He finally said, “I’m not… I don’t expect anything,” He could feel her stare, “And if you’re more comfortable in your apartment we can…”

She placed her hand on his arm and smiled. His heart skipped a beat, “I’d like to see your place,” She said and he swallowed thickly.

He nodded.

The fifteen minute drive to his condo was silent and they sat in the dim basement parking for far longer than they should’ve.

“Are you okay?” She asked, eyes wide and trusting. He nodded and reached for her cheek almost dazedly. He brushed her lower lip with his thumb and swallowed hard before pulling away.

“We should get out,” He cleared his throat and hopped out of the car. He walked to her side and helped her down.

He didn’t let go of her hand.

Coffee.

He’d make them coffee and they can just hang out and cuddle if that’s what she wanted.

Her hand felt so small in his and he squeezed.

The elevator ride and the short walk to his door was awkward and silent. He could barely hear the beep his door made when he’d pressed his finger on the scanner. He should probably put her print in too.

He let her hand go when they’d entered and cursed himself for not thinking of leaving a light, _any_ light on. He didn’t exactly expect to be here in the first place.

He shifted and resisted the urge to press a palm on his aching cock. He should at least offer a drink.

“Ben,” She started in her husky voice and he snapped.


	89. Feels Good Just Like I Knew It Would

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay 'Love at First Feel' is a sketchy song but also AC/DC. :) 
> 
> HERE WE GO (Shoutout to darkside_nuggets) : #smut #yaysmut #DidSomeoneSaySmut? #DidISaySmut? #YesISaidSmut #AllAboardTheSmutBus #AndThenThereWasSmut #LetThereBeSmut #NotForTheFaintOfHeart
> 
> Also it was very hard to write this and keep a straight face while sitting at the dining table with your mom sitting inches away from you. (Y was definitely not around while I was writing this and thank fuck he doesn't actually read the fic.)
> 
> THIS IS THE LAST WARNING: THIS IS GRAPHIC I TELL YOU. _GRAPHIC_ 🔥 🔥 🔥 
> 
> -X

She’d only said his name and now she found herself pressed against the wall, her hands pinned tightly on either side of her head. She gasped and then moaned when he shoved his tongue in her mouth. Their kisses had always been hot and desperate but _this,_ this was different _._ He kissed her eagerly, desperately, with a certain determination that made her stomach tighten and her underwear unbearably wet. She tried to keep up, brushing her tongue against his but he only pressed tighter, leaning down in a manner that’s probably really very uncomfortable.

The growl that came deep from his throat sent tingles down her spine, straight to her clit. She whimpered. He pulled away and growled again, leaving her hands free so he could pull her up by the waist and press another hot, devouring kiss.

Her hands went around his shoulders and her legs went around his waist instinctively. She moaned when he rolled his hips against her.

“Ben,” She gasped in his ear when he’d latched on to her throat and sucked _._ Her hips jerked forward and he groaned. His hands trailed up her thighs, pushing her dress up.

He pulled away when he couldn’t pushed it up any higher than her hips.

Then he jerked them both away from the wall. She yelped and clung to his shoulders, “Ben!”

“I won’t let you fall,” He whispered hotly and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on her lips. She moaned grabbed onto his hair, jerking it back and making him groan and press into her harder while they stumbled into his room.

She’d lost her dress somewhere along the way and whimpered when he pulled away to drop her on the bed. His lips were parted and wet and swollen. She bit her lip and suppressed a moan when he pulled off his sweater.

He was even bigger than she’d imagined and she had the sudden urge to lick every inch of skin she could find and follow that tempting trail of hair she’d caught a glimpse of that led down his pants.

“Don’t look at me like that, baby,” He rasped and crawled up the bed, “I might not be able to control myself if you do.” 

She bit her lip and rubbed her thighs together. Nothing in her fantasies could have prepared her for the sight of him crawling up her body, pressing teasing, feathery kisses up her belly and making her feel like his prey. She swallowed hard and met his searing gaze.

“You can still tell me to stop,” He whispered roughly and leaned close to her face. He stopped a hairsbreadth away from her lips and she whimpered. She could feel his breath going in her parted mouth and she shivered, “Tell me,”

“ _Daddy_ ,” She moved closer and he moved away, hissing slightly.

“ _Fuck_ , baby, I love it when you call me that,”

“Daddy, _please,_ ” She whined again and he groaned and crashed his lips against hers in a bruising kiss. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra easily. She shook it off and he threw it over his shoulder.

He pulled away and her pussy clenched at the sight of the trail of saliva connecting their mouths. She raised her arms to cover her breasts.

“Don’t,” He growled and caught her wrist, “Don’t hide from me,” She squirmed while hungry gaze devoured her body, “Should’ve opened the lights,” He muttered and heat bloomed in her cheeks.

He leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth and large hand slipped into her black lace underwear. He sucked the same time he plunged a finger inside her and she tightened and moaned. He thrust his thick finger in roughly and she arched her hips, asking _please more_. He added another one, pushing and stretching, almost pounding into her like he was preparing her for something so much more.

“How much do you like this pair?” She felt his breath fanning across her skin, making her shiver, “Fuck it I’ll buy you a new one,”

He nipped her nipple and used both hands to tear the flimsy piece of cloth away from her. She gasped.

He sat back and looked at her again and she realised that _he was still wearing his pants._

“Ben,” He arched a brow and she bit her lip, “Please Daddy,” She could see the bulge in his jeans and she reached for his belt. He didn’t let here.

“Don’t move,” He growled and she stilled, “Good girl.” She shuddered again and watched entranced as he stood and unbuckled his belt. The chink of metal against metal was loud, almost vulgar as it cut through the sound of their panting.

She bit her lip and watched his fingers, still wet and glistening from her juices, unbutton his jeans and slide the zipper down almost in slow motion. She fidgeted and looked up to meet his eyes, hoping he understood what she was silently begging for.

His smile was slow and wide, almost smug, his dark eyes glittering in the dark. “You look so beautiful, baby girl,” He purred and pushed his pants and underwear down slowly. Her breath hitched and her eyes widened when his cock sprung out, bobbing a little and smearing pre-cum on his belly. She licked her lips subconsciously and his heavy-lidded eyes darkened impossibly. He gripped his cock at base and she whimpered, “Spread your legs,”

She did and he crawled over her, his presence large and looming and intoxicating, making her think of nothing but him and having him inside her because _please Daddy stop making me wait_.

“What an impatient little girl,” He murmured and pressed a quick, sloppy kiss not quite on her lips. She felt him nudging against her, the blunt head of his cock pushing slowly into her. He paused suddenly, still pressed against her and she wanted to scream, “Condom?”

Rey gasped out that she had an IUD and he gave a soft growl and _pushed_. She gasped at the sudden intrusion and he stilled, jaw clenched tight, sweat beading on his brow.

“Breathe,” He hissed, his eyes wild and desperate and _begging_. She let out a shuddering breath and he hissed before pushing in a little more.

She moaned at the tight, almost painful stretching and spread her legs wider. His fingers dug into the sheets and he jerked his hips once, twice, until he was fully seated inside her. They moaned in unison.

He buried his face in her neck and shook. She could feel every twitch his cock made inside her and she whimpered, rolling her hips, urging him to move, “Tell me if it hurts,” He said tightly and pulled out slowly before pushing back inside just as slow. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him close.

“I’m not going to break,” She whispered in his ear, “Let go, Ben.”

And that was all it took for him to break.

He groaned and untangled her legs from his hips to push them higher. His fingers dug almost painfully at the back of her thighs.

He pressed his mouth against hers, catching her gasp as he pulled out and slammed back down into her. Their mouths were dislodged by his pounding and he licked down to her neck, nipping and sucking and licking before settling on that most sensitive part right over the junction of her throat and jaw, near the pulse that was pounding almost as strongly as his hips.

He sucked and she keened, clenching down tight around him, making him lose pace and gasp.

He groaned her name and she’d never heard anything sweeter.

But he’d awoken something dark and greedy inside of her, “More,” She gasped, “Please, Daddy, harder.”

He hissed a curse and released her thighs so he could tangle his fingers in her hair and hold her head in place while he gave her what she asked for. He swallowed her shriek and she kissed him desperately, her nails raking down his back. She was almost certain she drew blood but she couldn’t seem to care at the moment, not when he was kissing and licking into her like he needed her more than air. Not when his cock was stretching her out and filling her up to the point that she couldn’t even begin to differentiate where she started and where he ended.

He tugged at her hair and she moaned and tightened some more around him. His hips stuttered and he pulled away with a gasp, “ _Where_ ,” He didn’t stop thrusting and rolling his hips against hers, _“Rey,_ where,” He shuddered and his eyes rolled back when she started fluttering around him.

“Inside,” She gasped and he made another desperate sound.

The coil in her stomach tightened and she held on, burying her face in his shoulder. She could feel her pussy fluttering and clenching around him, trying to hold him in while he pulled out and pushed in roughly. Tears welled in her eyes.

“Cum for me, baby,” It was his voice, deep and rough and tinged with desperation, that threw her over the edge. Her whole body shook and she bit down on the fleshy part of his shoulder.

He gasped and thrust deep inside her before letting out a low moan. His cock pulsed as he came and he tried to push some more, like he was trying get even deeper than he already was.

His mouth sought hers and she moaned into the kiss.

His cock twitched again and she wrapped her legs around him again.

Their kiss was long and lazy, this time, sweet, and she shivered when she felt his cock softening and slipping out of her.


	90. Even The Nights Are Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OnePoet and I were literally just talking about Children of Bodom and today we found out that Alexi Laiho had passed (for some reason your comment isn't appearing @OnePoet) so let's offer a moment of silence for a great and talented artist.
> 
> -X

Rey woke up to bright sunlight and a heavy arm around her.

Ben pulled her closer and threw a leg over hers. She could already feel him pressing against her ass.

She flushed.

They’d fucked and they’d fucked _hard_.

After that first frantic coupling he’d brought them to his bathroom and filled the large tub next to the enclosed shower.

He’d pressed her down against the cold marble counter next to the sink and fucked her again while they waited for the tub to fill.

Then they’d washed each other’s bodies, exploring and kissing and licking and kissing some more. And he’d sat her on his lap and fucked her again.

The water had gone cold by the time they got out but he had no problem warming the both of them once they were on the bed again. He’d flipped her on her belly and fucked her again until they both came and collapsed into a tangled mess of limbs.

She looked at him, still unable to fully grasp that yes, he’s her boyfriend and they’d just fucked each other silly, the proof being the dull ache between her thighs. He murmured in his sleep and snuggled closer.

He looked younger in his sleep, less tense, she couldn’t even see the usual lines between his brows. And he looked vulnerable.

“Rey,” He sighed and murmured again, nuzzling her hair and snoring lightly.

She smiled and tried to untangle herself from him gently. He frowned and she shoved a pillow in his arms.

She wanted to stay in bed with him but they needed food especially after last night. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled. She padded into the bathroom, grabbing his discarded sweater off the floor.

She almost screamed when she saw herself in the large mirror over his sink. Her hair, of course, was a tangled mess but what’s more concerning were the bouquet of marksin various shades of red and purple blooming on her skin, some larger than others. She turned slowly, inspecting her back and bit her lip when she saw the imprint of his teeth on the back of her neck.

What a mess.

Why did that make her feel so hot?

Ben was insatiable, kissing and licking and biting and tasting everywhere he could like he was starving. Maybe he was. He relished her touching him in the same way she relished the affection he showered on her.

She shrugged on his sweater and found a spare toothbrush in his bottom shelf. As she’d expected his sweater was soft and warm, large enough to fall over one shoulder and reach all the way down to the middle of her thighs.

It smelled like him too, deep and musky, a little like the forest, a little like laundry soap, but definitely Ben. Like his jacket, he’d never have this sweater back.

She brushed her teeth and tried to brush out her hair before tiptoeing out to the room so she wouldn’t wake him.

He was still holding the pillow. The blanket he’d thrown over them the night before had fallen down to his hips and she bit her lip, resisting the urge to crawl back into bed. Maybe she’d wake him up with…She flushed, unable to complete the thought.

She tore her gaze away from him and did a double-take when she saw her mug sitting on his desk. Only, she was _sure_ she’d left hers on the sink in her apartment.

She bent down so she could stare at it. Where did he…?

Then she remembered that little giveaway she did online before her album launch. He couldn’t have joined that…could he? She blushed at the thought of her long-time celebrity crush joining a small-time singer’s contest.

But then, this was _Ben_.

 _Her_ Ben.

He wasn’t some unattainable star, not anymore. She glanced back towards the bed and smiled. He was her friend and boyfriend wrapped up in one delicious muscle-bound package.

She left the room before she could wake him up with her giggles.

The penthouse was large and cold. She shivered a little and padded across the cold marble tile towards the large floor-to-ceiling windows. Sunlight streamed in and she marvelled at the gorgeous view he had of Hollywood and the glittering blue Pacific in the distance. She’d like to go there with him someday, when they’d finally let the world know about their relationship.

His house didn’t really seem to have much in terms of personal effects. She couldn’t have known that the man living in it was a fan of AC/DC or that he knew how to play the white baby grand piano sitting in the far corner of his living room.

It looked almost like a house from a magazine if it weren’t for the packed bookshelf and the old recipe box sitting on top of it. She browsed the titles, not at all surprised to find books about war tactics and strategies and sci-fi fantasy novels mixed together.

She smiled and noticed a brown envelope on the coffee table. It looked old and worn, unopened, with Ben’s name written on it.

Did he forget about it?

His kitchen was a lot bigger than hers, the machines all looked shiny and new and barely used. It seemed he didn’t really spend a lot of time in his house and when she opened the fridge there was barely anything in it.

Maybe she should’ve insisted that they go home to her apartment last night.

Then again, she’d always wanted to know where he lived and what the things he surrounded himself were.

She looked around the large space. It was cold and lonely, kind of like the man himself.

Poor Ben.

She shook her head and frowned at the contents of his fridge. She had no problem making anything from nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little morning after thing.
> 
> -X


	91. Now That We're Here Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one today too 🥺 (I promise tomorrow I'll post two though! hehe) 
> 
> -X

Ben woke up to an empty bed and for a brief moment he panicked, wondering if he’d dreamt the last few days up. Then he saw the white lace bra at the corner of the bed and breathed a sigh of relief.

Rey was here.

Last night happened.

She didn’t leave him.

He stumbled into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth and couldn’t help but grin at the large bruise on his shoulder where she’d bit him. He had felt the sting of the scratches on his back when they’d bathed but didn’t get a good look at them.

They looked angry and red but weren’t very deep. Who’d have thought she’d scratch him up like that? He chuckled and put on a pair of sweatpants.

He could smell something cooking.

She was wearing his sweater and his cock stirred in his pants. There was something about her wearing his clothes. It made a primal part of him purr, proud almost, that she’d find comfort in the clothes he’d worn.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He could get used to seeing her like this. She still hasn’t noticed him yet.

And she was humming.

Was that… “Air Supply?” He arched a brow and she squeaked, almost dropping a pancake.

“Be-Ben!” She flushed and looked down, “G-good morning,”

He felt himself fail at keeping a straight face and gave up altogether. He chuckled and stalked towards her. She took a step back and he arched a brow and caught her by the waist. She squeaked again and turned a bright red, “Good morning, sweet thing,” He murmured and brushed his lips against hers.

She sucked in a breath and he made another pass at her lips, pressing just a little harder. She made a soft, breathy sigh that made his cock jerk.

He’d have thought he’d be worn out from the night before but it seemed years ofbeing busy with work and unintentional celibacy were catching up to him.

“Ben, breakfast is getting cold,”

“Mm,” He gave her another kiss before letting her go so she could plate the pancakes she’d made.

Did he even have pancake mix?

He hid a smile when he saw his marks decorating her neck.

“So the nights are better, huh?” He didn’t miss the shiver that ran down her spine, “Does the day seem brighter, too?” He pressed himself against her back and this time, he _felt_ her shiver, “Well, does it?”

She squirmed and her ass rubbed against him deliciously, “Maybe,” She squeaked and he chuckled.

“Liar,” He pressed a kiss on her ear and pushed away from her to sit on the bar stool.

She slid the plate towards him, “You didn’t have any syrup so I hope honey’s okay,” She said.

He shrugged, “I don’t really eat breakfast.”

She frowned, “You should. You’re always so busy and you’re really big so you need a lot of energy,”

“I usually just make coffee,” He chuckled, “It’s a bother cooking for one.” Her expression turned sad and his chest ached, “Rey,”

“You don’t have to anymore,” She finally said, “I’ll cook for us, or we can take turns?”

For a moment he was stunned at her declaration. She looked so determined. He suppressed a smile but he couldn't hide the happiness that bloomed in his chest.

She really _is_ joy incarnate.

He looked down at his pancakes and cleared his throat, “Okay,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more smut and flirting and making out now that they've done it once (or you know, four, five times). Also for someone who bakes, I only recently realised how _easy_ it is to make your own pancake mix 😛 
> 
> -X


	92. Cause You Had Been Lonely Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Early update today 😉 (because I swore I will sleep early) so enjoy! I also made a Spotify playlist for the fic heh. I realised it's strange that it's a fic that's inspired by song, or has a lot of music in it, and so I made a playlist for it with all the music we've mentioned. It _is_ of course, a work in progress too and we'll add more songs as we go along. It's public but here is the link! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1BdvtAmOdpMhO9SNr1hVdM?si=GZGO1qfcRey0wPuv3mTrNA
> 
> Also. 🔥 🔥 semi-smut? smut smut? What _is_ smut.
> 
> -X

There it was again, that deep-seated loneliness in his eyes that he tried so hard to hide. She saw it every time he gave her that deep brooding stare, tucking his chin down, like he was trying not to look but couldn’t help it anyway.

Right now he looked like he was wondering if she was really there.

His eyes followed her movements as she went around the counter to stand between his legs, “Rey,”

She shivered and placed her hands on his thick thighs to push herself up to give him a kiss. For a moment he didn’t move and then something clattered and he wrapped his arms around her.

He tasted like the honey he’d drizzled all over the pancakes. His fingers were trailing up the back of her thighs and she shivered. His hands reached her butt and squeezed. She pulled away with a gasp.

He arched a brow, “No underwear? Naughty girl,”

She flushed and looked away, “You tore them,” She huffed and he chuckled, still squeezing and groping. His fingers went lower, brushing against her pussy and making her jerk up.

“You’re wet, baby girl,” She tried to close her thighs but his hands were already there, brushing teasingly against her slit, “Sore?” She shook her head, not really, “Good.” He purred and lifted her up onto the counter.

She gasped.

Plates were shoved haphazardly to the side and utensils clattered, “B-Ben, what are you doing?”

“Having breakfast,” There was a glint in his eyes and he licked his lips.

He slid to the floor, on his knees, still not breaking eye contact. She rushed to close her legs but his hands were already there, pushing her thighs apart, “Ben,” He pressed a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh and she shivered, “You don’t—,” She bit her lip and stopped talking when he arched a brow. 

His eyes held her captive as he trailed kisses up one thigh and down the other. She swallowed thickly. She could feel his breath on her, making her clench and whimper.

“You look like you want to ask me for something,” His deep voice rumbled and she felt it shiver across the sensitive skin of her thigh, “Tell Daddy what you want, baby,”

She bit her lip harder and let out a soft squeak.

He _really_ was getting into the whole Daddy-baby dynamic.

And if she were honest, so was she.

She loved how wild and desperate it made him, how he’d kiss her like there was no tomorrow.

How he’d take care of her, almost worshipfully, like he had nothing more precious.

He bit her thigh and she yelped. She met his eyes again, wide-eyed. He arched a brow, “Where are you wandering off to, hm?” He laved the spot he bit soothingly.

Heat rushed to her cheeks and he gave her a lazy half-smile. His lips trailed up again and he blew a little on her clit.

Her hips jerked up and she whimpered. She felt so cold and _empty_ but still so unbearably hot, “Daddy,” She gasped and his expression grew serious. He didn’t move, “Please,”

Then he smiled that devastatingly devilish smile and pressed his mouth against her wet heat. She whimpered and moaned but didn’t dare break eye contact. She couldn’t, not when he still staring deep into her eyes while his tongue flicked across her clit before thrusting into her.

Her thigh shook and when he pressed a finger inside her, her eyes threatened to roll back into her skull. He thrust into her, gently at first, before going faster and harder.

He sucked on her clit harshly and curled a finger inside her.

This time her eyes _did_ roll back.

He nipped at her clit but she didn’t have time to feel the pain because he was already laving it with tongue and thrusting with his fingers.

Her fingers grasped at his hair, pulling and pushing, unsure of what she really wanted. She felt his groan reverberate inside her and she clenched down tight on his finger. He hissed and shoved another one in and she screamed a little.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” His voice was muffled and almost drowned out by her moans, “Beautiful,” He thrust harder and tried to put a third finger in.

She clenched down hard and shuddered as she came.


	93. Cause Now You've Made A Fire Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: #smut #OMGMoreSmut #HolyShitSmut #TheyFuck #YesTheyFuck #TheyAreTurningOutToBeQuiteKinky #TicketsPleaseToTheSmutBus #IsThisNormal #YesThisIsNormal 🔥 🔥 🔥 
> 
> -X

Ben leaned back a little to watch her clench around his fingers.

He licked his lips and stood, his fingers still stuffed inside her. He thrust again, almost lazily and grinned when she tightened around him.

He wanted to fuck her again.

She lay sprawled on his counter like some sort of offering, one that he was more than happy to partake in.

And he would, just as soon as he got his sweater off of her.

She didn’t complain even when he threw it to the ground haphazardly.

He grabbed the bottle of honey and squirted the viscous fluid on her breasts. 

She gasped, eyes widening and pussy clenching.

He grinned and leaned down to flick his tongue on her hardened nipple. Her pussy clenched again and his cock throbbed in his pants. She was so sweet all over.

“Ben!” She hissed and then moaned when he lapped the honey off of her skin, “That’s not f-fair,” She said, stuttering a little when he thrust his fingers particularly hard into her.

He didn’t let her have a moment’s reprieve, “What’s not fair, princess?” She tightened again and he arched a brow, “Hm? You like being called ‘princess’, baby?” She shook her head but he knew by how wet she suddenly was and how she’d tightened around him that she did. He chuckled, “We really have to do something about your lies,”

He eyed a drop of honey slowly making its way down between the valley of her breasts and leaned down to lick at them. His fingers left her pussy and he wedged himself at the apex of her thighs. She whimpered and he sucked lightly. He was sure she’d have more of his marks by the end of the day.

For always if he had his way.

He kissed his way up her body to catch her lips in a searing kiss. She moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist. He tangled his fingers in her hair and angled her head so he could kiss her deeper.

“Please,” She keened before meeting his mouth again. Her hips rolled against his and he groaned, “Please, _Daddy_.”

He pulled away with a growl and pushed his sweatpants just low enough to free his cock.

“Rey,” He groaned and thrust into her heat. He bit his lip but it wasn’t enough to stifle his moan. Her pussy wrapped tightly around him, sucking him in and tightening around him like a vice. He pulled out and she tightened even more. He threaded their fingers together, “Look at me,” He gasped and pushed back in roughly, “Rey, look at me, _please.”_

Her gorgeous hazel eyes stared bleary at him and her hands, still linked with his, squeezed, “I see you,” She gasped, “I see you, Ben.”

He screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in her neck because he couldn’t bear to look into those eyes anymore.

He thrust harder, the pleasure boiling in the pit of his stomach made his movements jerky. She clenched and his balls tightened. He could feel his climax coming from the way the small of his back tightened and how heavy his balls felt.

He gasped and thrust desperately, groaning, almost spilling out _I love you_.

She tightened around him almost unbearably and moaned his name when she came.

His cock twitched and he moaned, gripping her fingers tight as he spilled inside of her. Her pussy fluttered around him, milking him until he had nothing left to offer. He jerked his hips weakly and shuddered.

Her legs were still wrapped around his waist and he leaned heavily against her.

“Am I crushing you?” He turned and murmured in her ear. She tightened again and he let out a shuddering breath.

“No,” She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, “I’m perfect,”

“Yeah, you are,” He murmured and pressed a kiss to her temple.


	94. Even The Days Are Brighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still trying to sleep early; still failing. Also already have an idea for the next two fics and I really, really can't wait to finish this one and start on that one. Of course I won't start on the next ones until after this one so I can say for sure that I did my best in my trial fic. Hehe. 
> 
> -X

They had to get up. The counter was, of course, hard and uncomfortable and Ben hada crick on his neck from staying on it, and her, for so long.

He helped her slide off of it and she flushed when his cum came dripping out.

He’d looked at the pearly white drops on his otherwise pristine marble floor and laughed.

“I’ll clean it up later,” He said, “Wanna shower with me?”

His dimples flashed and she bit her lip, “Only if you promise we’d _actually_ shower.” His smile widened.

“I can’t promise that, sweet thing,” His hands were still on her hips, “You’re very hard to resist,”

“Maybe I should shower in the guest room,” It should feel a little strange standing there stark naked when he’d already tucked himself back in his sweatpants but for some reason she couldn’t find it in her to feel uncomfortable.

He laughed, “Fine, fine, I promise.” He raised his pinky.

It was so unexpected that it took a moment for her to realise that he was actually doing a pinky swear. She giggled and linked her pinky with his, “You’re ridiculous,”

“I thought I was Daddy?” He said rather cheekily and she laughed even harder.

“You’re even cracking dad jokes!”

He winked and took her hand to lead her back into his room.

They passed by the cat mug and she paused. He glanced back at her curiously.

“Okay, I have to ask.” She said, “ _How_ did you get that?”

He looked at where she was pointing and he actually _blushed_ , “I, um,” He let go of her hand and cleared his throat. He was rubbing the back of his neck again, “I won it.”

“From my contest?” He nodded, not meeting her eyes, “From way back when?” He nodded again.

She flushed too. He’d been watching since that long? Wait, it hasn’t _actually_ been that long ago.

“I uh, got curious,” He said almost shyly, “I had no idea who That British Girl Hux was talking about and…” He shrugged, “I thought you were pretty and your songs and covers were nice.”

“You watched my videos,” She was stunned to say the least and naked as she was, somehow it felt like _he_ was more vulnerable at that moment, “I thought you…” She chewed on her lower lip before continuing, “I thought you only joined that one livestream,”

He shrugged, “I _made_ the account for that but,” Then he stopped. His lips thinned and his face turned an even brighter shade of red.

“What account?” She asked, “You have a Youtube account?”

“Y-yes,” He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck again, “We should take a shower, you might get a cold,”

“What’s wrong if you have an account?” Why did he seem so shy about it?

“Baby, you’re naked, can we have this conversation later?”

She looked down at herself and flushed. She’d completely forgotten that she was naked. As if on cue, more of his cum dripped on the hardwood floor of his bedroom. She turned even brighter and walked past him to the bathroom.

He chuckled and followed her, pushing off his sweatpants in the process and stepping inside the shower stall with her.

She actually didn’t have a good look at his…package. She remembered all the questions and comments in her livestream asking if he was big all over and it certainly _felt_ like he was but actually seeing it, even in its flaccid state, she could probably confidently say that yes, he _is_ big all over.

Not that she’d actually share _that_ to the world.

He opened the shower and turned her around, “Tell me if it’s too hot,”

Of course he meant the water but she blushed anyway.

He shampooed her hair gently, “So, what’s wrong if you have a Youtube account?” He fingers stilled and he sighed.

“I didn’t want you to know,” He murmured, “It’s kinda embarrassing,”

She glanced back to see his brows furrow, “I think it’s sweet,”

He met her eyes and arched a brow. His lip twitched up, “Why, exactly, did you think I did it?” Then he looked away and sighed again, “Would you be angry if I tell you I…” He rinsed her hair. The scent of his shampoo made her a little giddy. She liked smelling like him.

“You what?”

He was still hesitating. What did he do that was so bad? “I heard Kylo Ren has an eight-pack,”

She giggled at the random declaration. Where did she hear that before? She turned and looked at his belly, “You _do_ _not,”_ She poked at his admittedly hard stomach, “Actually now that I think about it military men don’t either,”

He laughed, a little breathless, and she saw his cock twitch in the corner of her eye, “I do, you just can’t see it. Ripped abs are mostly for show anyway,”

She bit her lip and tried to imagine him with chiseled abs like Poe and couldn’t. She liked him the way he is, “You look good,” She said, “Just like this,”

Then she remembered. There was someone commenting on the chat-box before he called and hijacked her livestream; someone she’d never seen before. _IHeardKyloRenHasAn8Pack._

He’d been the one to ask what she’d do if he’d been watching the livestream.

And what she’d do if he asks her out on a date.

Her eyes widened and she looked up to meet his eyes. He arched a brow, “We should rinse your hair before you get soap in your eyes,”

“That was you!” She gasped.

“Don’t know what you mean,” He coaxed her under the spray and hide a smile.

“Why didn’t you just call me and ask me out?” She scrubbed at her hair and he busied himself with soaping her up.

“I was scared,” He said softly, without looking up at her face, “I didn’t know if you’d say yes,” Then he chuckled, almost forcefully, “And you kinda rejected me when I asked you out at first,”

“Ben, we literally met _twice_ at that time,” She grabbed the shampoo bottle and stood on her toes to wash his hair. He shrugged and bent down, “But I’m glad you asked again,”

“I know we’re going too damn fast,” He mumbled and pressed a wet kiss on her shoulder, “But I feel like…,” He swallowed audibly, “I feel like we’ve known each other for a very long time.” His forehead was pressed on her shoulder now and she could feel how nervous his confession had made him by the ever-so-gentle trembling in his shoulders. She knew exactly what he meant.

He always acted so big and tough but really, inside he was just another normal man trying to find somewhere to belong.

Her soapy breasts slid across his chest when she hugged him and she giggled when she felt his hardness prodding at her thigh.

Really, Ben was insatiable.


	95. I Never Dreamed There'd Be Someone To Hold Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: feels. 
> 
> I CRIED WRITING THIS. 
> 
> -X

They’d ended up in bed again.

He just couldn’t get enough of her but after that last one he promised himself that he wouldn’t touch her again for the next couple of hours at least. He could see her winceas she walked and though he was glad that she was more than happy and willing to let him fuck her, she was still a tiny slip of a girl and he wasn’t exactly a small guy either.

That’s how they ended up in the kitchen. She was wearing one of his old Stanford t-shirts and a ratty pair of sweatpants he’d dug up from the back of his closet. They should really get some clothes for her to keep here.

But she didn’t seem to mind, in fact she seemed to really like wearing his old clothes even if they dwarfed her.

She’d asked him to teach her how to use the espresso machine and he was more than happy to teach her.

Really, he was just plain happy to be with her.

“You have to press down _hard_ ,” He said, holding her steady as she used her weight to tamp the coffee grounds, “Be careful with your wrist and you’re going to want to twist it a little as you come up,” He felt her shiver when he murmured in her ear, “You want it even and flat so you extract the coffee properly,”

“You know a lot about this,” She said and looked into the basket. He showed her how to lock it in place and placed a cup underneath it.

“I was curious,” He said, “It’s pretty easy once you’ve done it a few times.” The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air and she inhaled deeply.

Then he taught her how to foam the milk. She gave him the first cup and he watched as she made another.

She dumped sugar in her coffee, “That’s a lot of sugar there, sweet thing,”

She shrugged, “I like coffee but I like it _sweet_.” She grinned and her dimples flashed, “I like it with syrup too.”

“What do you usually order?”

“Gingerbread latte in winter,” She said and took a sip, “Vanilla sweet cream cold brew in the summer. Sometimes I like to have caramel macchiatos. And if there’s anything weird on the menu like honey latte I’d totally get that,”

He couldn’t help but smile as she chattered. She looked up and flushed before clearing her throat.

“What about you? Finn said you liked cold brew,”

“I do.” He said, “I’m a simple guy. I usually get black but if there’s anything cold brew, I’m there.”

“Not into sweet things?”

He eyed her over the lip of his cup, “Not until recently, no.” He said softly. She blinked up at him and blushed prettily.

“You, you can try mine,” She offered him her cup; he should buy her a cute one, something she’d like, instead of making her use the generic black ones he gotten in a set of four. He took her hand and moved it away. He leaned close and pressed his lips against hers, “It’s pretty good,”

She gasped and he swept his tongue against hers quickly before pulling away, “You’re right,” He said, smiling and licking his lips, “It’s good,” She turned bright red and looked away.

They’d moved on to the living room and he was once again struck by how cold and impersonal his house was. Would it be weird to ask her for help decorating? He liked how warm and cozy her small apartment was.

He’ll probably spend a lot of time there with her if he were honest. Maybe he should just move in; but the penthouse _was_ closer to both of their workplaces. He frowned.

“Ben?” He glanced at her. She was looking at him curiously, “Are you okay?”

He realised she’d said something and flushed, “Sorry, I was just thinking. What were you saying?”

“Why haven’t you opened it?” He looked at the envelope sitting on his coffee table, “I mean you don’t have to but it looks kinda old,”

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Truthfully I don’t really want to know what’s inside.”

“Oh.” She took a sip from her cup and he met her eyes, large and curious and patient.

He sighed again and tore his gaze from hers. Why did it always feel like she was looking straight through him? “It’s from my dad.”

“Ah,” She placed her hand on his arm and for a moment he was brought back to their first encounter at The Cantina, “It’s okay, you don’t have to open it now.” She said, “You can open it when you’re ready.”

He looked at her and back at the envelope, “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”

“Well, he’s your father. Wouldn’t you want to know what he had to leave you?” He gave her a half-shrug, “Do you want me to go somewhere first? I can stay in your room or wander around your house,”

“No. Stay, please.” He took her hand and squeezed, “I think—I think I’d feel better if you were here.”

She smiled and he was struck again by how bright and innocent and _happy_ it was, “Okay,”

He placed his cup on the coffee table and reached for the envelope. It wasn’t heavy and something moved around inside it.

He slid his thumb under the flap and swallowed hard before pushing it open. He tried not to tear it and he supposed given how it was the glue wasn’t really been that sticky anymore.

There was a letter, a flash drive and the keys to The Falcon. He would know that keychain anywhere. The twin die matched his mother’s necklace. He placed the flash drive and the keys on the table and stared at the off-white letter envelope.

His hand shook as he opened it.

Rey placed her cup on the table too and snuggled under his arm. He let out a shuddering breath and wrapped his arm around her, thankful that she was there. Shewas almost lying down on his lap and didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a small, encouraging smile.

He gave her a tight smile and swallowed hard before opening the heavy, yellowing piece of bond paper.

 _‘Hey kid,_ ’ Han wrote. His script was blocky and strong, _‘I know you’re upset we didn’t tell you immediately. I know you knew from the start. You’re smart that way, you know?’_

_'I know you’re trying hard not to let it show how much you’re suffering. Still suffering. We weren’t really good parents to you and by the time we knew it you were, what, thirteen? I knew at thirteen I for damn sure didn’t want to be with my parents anymore but you were such a good sport about it. And I never told you how sorry I was that your granddad never approved of me so you didn’t really get to be close to him like how granddads should be, you know?’_

Ben blinked back the sudden tears the welled up in his eyes. Rey touched his shaking hand and he breathed out. She looked ready to cry herself and she wasn’t even reading the letter.

“It’s going to be okay,” She whispered and he gave her another tight smile before returning to Han’s letter.

‘ _You wouldn’t believe how insanely proud I was when your mom told me you got into Stanford and that you joined the football team. I was in an interview for Rolling Stones at that time and I really wanted to tell them what it was that made he so happy. I’m sorry we never let it out in public that we were married with a son. We thought it would’ve been best, you know? And we wanted you to have a normal childhood too.’_ Ben snorted at this. _Nothing_ was normal in his childhood.

_‘I just wish we didn’t have to part so soon. I wish we had time and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. Your mother and I always talked about how we’d love to see you get married and have a child. We even joked about giving the grandkid a guitar for his or her first birthday. Or both of them? Knowing how strong your mother’s blood is chances are you’d get your girl knocked up with twins. You were supposed to have one too, you know? But eh, you ate her. That’s why you’re huge.’_

He smiled a little. It would’ve been nice if he really _did_ have a twin, _‘But we’d just be really happy to see you happy. You were always such a moody kid. Do you still have problems sleeping?’_ His script started to get shaky here, like he was getting tired. _‘So many things I wanted to ask, to know. Things I should’ve known if I’d been a good father to you. But I am so proud of the man you’ve become. You are even better than what we’d both hoped for and I hope in the future you’d find your own success and happiness no matter what you decide to do. And don’t be afraid. Everything will be okay and someday you’ll see, the sun will shine brighter and you won’t be as upset. It’s okay, that’s supposed to happen. And wherever I’d end up in when I go, I’ll always be with you. Love you, kid.’_

He signed it, _‘Dad’._ A tear fell on it and he wiped it away quickly so the ink wouldn’t run. He folded it gently and swallowed thickly before putting it back in its envelope.

He looked at the woman in his arms and tried to smile.

“You okay?” She asked softly, reaching up to touch his jaw lightly and reaching even higher to wipe the stray tear gathering in his eye.

“I’m fine,” He croaked and placed the letter on the table. He pulled her up to hold her and she yelped, “I’ll be fine.” She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back soothingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I put a bit of a SW: Legends reference there regarding :)
> 
> -X


	96. Little Darling, It Seems Like Years It's Been Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But wait there is more feels. Seriously, I cried writing this whole bit and I can't. 
> 
> -X

“Thank you,” He murmured and pressed a kiss on her forehead. Somehow they’d ended up with her sitting on his lap and holding him for God knows how long. He eyed the flash drive and braced himself for more emotional shit. Was he even ready for that? What could Han have left in a flash drive? “I’ll go get my laptop,”

“Okay,” She said softly and gave him a small smile and peck on the lips. He was so glad she was around and Han’s words about twins rattled in his head. What would he do if he does get her pregnant with twins? What did he even know about being a dad? He grabbed his laptop from the drawer and came back out.

She’d set out a jug of water next to a filled cup and some tissues. He didn’t even know he _had_ a box of tissue lying around. She smiled when he came back and he dropped another kiss on her forehead before settling in next to her.

He liked her couch more. Maybe they should sit on the floor instead? He placed the laptop on the coffee table and slid to the floor. He looked up and held an arm out to her and she flushed before sliding down too and snuggling next to him.

Videos.

The flash drive had videos in it, some longer than others. He read the titles.

_When you’re sad and lonely._

_When you can’t sleep._

_When you need a pick-me-up._

_When it’s your birthday._

_When it’s Christmas_

_When it’s New Year._

_When you’re angry._

_When you get a girlfriend._

_When you get married._

_When you have a kid._

_When it’s my death anniversary._

He frowned and looked at Rey who shrugged. He’d gone through almost all of those in the last decade.

He clicked on the first one and Han’s face came out. He was wearing his usual brown leather jacket and Ben swallowed hard. He looked thin here, _“Hey kid,”_ He hadn’t heard that in years, _“So you’re feeling sad, huh? I get it it’s one of those days. You think everything’s out to get you and you just can’t get yourself out of bed to do things.”_ He pulled up a guitar and started playing.

Han always loved the Beatles and Ben couldn’t help but laugh a little when he started singing _Here Comes The Sun._

They listened quietly until he’d finished and ended the video with, _‘Love you, kid.'_ and moved on to the next.

This time the song was _‘Take Me Home, Country Roads,’_ and Ben stiffened a little.Han, whenever he was in town, always sang him that to sleep. He had even gave him one of those bears that you can record things in so he could always sing him to sleep even when he wasn’t around. Ben had been upset and cried himself to sleep when it broke when he was ten. Of course, he didn’t let them know that. Would it still be in the boxes in Leia’s attic?

Like the first one, he’d started with _‘Hey, kid,’_ and ended with _‘Love you, kid.’_

_They watched it all and laughed at Han’s seemingly random choice of songs. It was like a playlist or a mixed tape except in video form._

_But it did_ make him feel better.

Then, when they reached ‘ _When you get a girlfriend’_ , he paused and looked down at Rey. He gave her a quick kiss and a small smile before clicking play.

 _“Hey kid,”_ As always he was wearing his leather jacket. Ben would’ve thought he was recording all of these in one day but he could see how Han had gradually become thinner, _“So you got yourself a girlfriend. Congratulations,”_ He squeezed Rey next to him, _“I didn't think you'd have it in you, really. I mean you have my looks but not my charm. But then you always were a good judge of character so I’m sure she’s great and your mother and I would love her. Wish I coulda met her,”_ His throat tightened and he swallowed hard. Yeah, he wished Han could’ve met Rey too. They would’ve hit it off so well and Han could finally have someone to talk to who knew cars as much as, or even more than he did. He’d have been happy to watch them.

The song started and he sucked in a breath when his father started, _‘Hey Jude, don’t make it bad,’_ Why did he sing this one for that? Rey looked up at him with such wide eyes, _‘Take a sad song and make it better,’_ He gripped Rey’s hand and looked back at the screen, _‘Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.’_

He usually sang this to his mother, what did have anything to do with him and Rey?

Rey couldn’t have known the significance either when she sang it before. He held her tighter. _Hey Jude, don’t be afraid._

He _had_ been afraid. He’d been so afraid that she’d reject him and now he was terrified that she’d leave. _You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you can begin to make it better._

‘Oh, oh, oh, and anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders,’ He was grateful that she was with him, experiencing this, listening to Han, with him. He wouldn’t have been able to do it on his own.

 _‘Hey Jude, don’t let me down. She has found you, now go out and get her,’_ He did and now he had her, _‘Remember to let her into your heart,’_ She’s been there from the start and she made everything so much better.

He swallowed thickly and rubbed at his eyes. Han would’ve loved to see them sing together. _You’re waiting for someone to perform with._

They sat quietly in the living room. He didn’t even know when they’d both started to cry.

 _‘I bet you’re wondering why I chose that song, heh,’_ He saw Han laugh a little. He looked so tired, _‘Well, I thought it was apt. You were always such a serious kid and after what your mother and I put you through, I know you’d…’_ He cleared his throat, _‘Well, I knew you’d be scared. And I want you to know that it’ll be okay, that whoever you choose to be with, she’ll be there for you.’_ Rey squeezed him around the waist and sniffled, ‘ _I love you, kid, and I’m sure I’ll love her too.’_

They skipped the one about marriage and children and he hesitated before pressing the death anniversary video.

“You don’t have to watch it now,” Rey said, holding his hand. He brushed her tears away. She cried for him.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, so much that it hurt.

He pressed the video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also made a playlist for this! If anyone's interested the songs I had in my head are as follows but of course it could be anything you like.
> 
> When you’re lonely. - Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles  
> When you can’t sleep. - Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver  
> When you need a pick-me-up. - Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen  
> When you’re sad. - Don’t Stop by Fleetwood Mac  
> When it’s your birthday. - Celebration by Kool & The Gang  
> When it’s Christmas - Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney  
> When it’s New Year - Have a Drink on Me by AC/DC  
> When you’re angry. - Sailing by Christopher Cross  
> When you get a girlfriend. - Hey, Jude by The Beatles  
> When you get married. - L.O.V.E by Nat King Cole  
> When you have a kid. - Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart  
> -X


	97. I Know I Have To Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is not okay. I am not okay. MORE FEELS.
> 
> -X

Ben broke when Han sang ‘Hey Jude’ for them but when he saw how sick Han looked in the last video and how calmly he talked about his own death, he’d shattered.

She held him as he cried and Han crooned _‘Father and Son’_ in an increasingly raspy voice. It hurt hearing and seeing him like this. She felt his pain as he wailed, gripping her upper arms so tight she knew she’d have even more bruises.

She’d slid into his lap again and patted his side. She tried not to cry too. She’s always been such a sentimental fool but hearing an actual honest to goodness father’s last messages made her heart ache, and _Ben._

She felt it all, how he cried for time lost, for memories that never would be, for past regrets, for things he never said. Han’s song had ended and he was saying his last remarks. Rey wasn’t sure if he was listening, _if_ he could even hear him.

 _‘I’m sorry I have to go,’_ Han said, his voice raspy and soft, _‘I really wish I didn’t.’_

Ben shook and she shrugged his hands off and wrapped them around her waist so she could hold him properly. His body wrapped around her, like he was trying to make himself smaller.

 _‘See you around, kid. Take care of your mother, alright? I love you.’_ The video cuts off.

Rey combs her fingers through his hair, “It’s okay,” She murmurs, “Let it out,” She sat there quietly, alternating between rubbing his broad back and brushing back his hair.

His phone rang from the bedroom and he hiccoughed, shuddering and moving her off of him.

“Stay,” She said, “I’ll get it,” She brushed his hair back from his face. His eyes were still wet and his nose rivalled Rudolph’s. She was sure she didn’t look any better. He sniffed, a great honking noise and she smiled. She gave him a soft kiss and got off his lap. He was still looking at her with those big lonely eyes, “Be right back,”

She walked briskly into his room and found his phone thrown carelessly on the floor, almost underneath the bedside table. It’d stopped ringing by the time she got it and she saw that it was low on batteries and that he had quite a lot of messages both in their group chat and text messages, as well as notifications from Twitter.

She walked back out. He was still on the floor, staring at the paused video. He must’ve replayed bits of it.

“Who was it?” He asked without looking at her. His voice was thick, still holding traces of his sorrow. She sat next to him and urged him to drink some water.

“Hux,” She said, “You have a lot of messages too.”

“Mm,” He looked tired. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked about the envelope.

His phone rang again and she jumped a little, “Hux is calling again, should I answer it?”

“Up to you,” He mumbled and she stood awkwardly to make her way to his balcony. She slid the door closed and shivered in the cold air.

She answered, “Solo, you bloody cunt, I know you’re busy with Rey with it wouldn’t hurt to check your phone every once in a while.”

“Hi, Hux. This is Rey. Ben’s a little preoccupied at the moment,” Rey said, glancing back before sitting on one of the cushioned daybeds, “Should I get him for you?”

Hux didn’t answer for a long, awkward moment. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, hi, Rey. I uh, didn’t expect you to answer the phone.”

“It’s alright,”

Hux cleared his throat again, “So, uh, I guess you two are finally official?”

Rey bit her lip and glanced back at Ben, “Yes,”

“Great!” Hux laughed a little, “That’s wonderful news and um, how is he?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s a bumbling oaf and he has a bit of an anger management issue but he’s a good person.” 

“I know that,” Rey laughed, “He’s…okay, I guess.” She cleared her throat, “He’s had um, a long day.”

Hux paused again, “Is he alright? Is this about his parents?”

Rey was shocked that Hux would ask her that but he knew Ben better than anyone in the world and she supposed he’d know what happened. She sighed, “Yes, sort of. He’s going through a lot. He’ll probably tell you about it?”

“Yeah,” Hux sighed heavily, “Well, you keep on supporting him, yeah? And when there’s a chance tell him I’m getting a lot of calls from casting directors wanting him for singing roles.”

“That’s great news!”

“Yeah, well, tell that to him.” Hux snorted, “He doesn’t like people knowing he can sing. And dance. And do art.”

She remembered the framed calligraphy pieces in his old room, “Well, it’s out there now. I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks. Oh, and tell him Phas will contact him soon about his clothes for the interview on the second.” Hux said and hung up.

Rey shivered again and slipped inside.

Ben finally looked up.

“How are you?” She asked and he gave her a small smile. He slid up the coach and extended his hand to her.

She took his and he pulled her into a side hug, his face pressing against her belly. He sighed and she brushed her fingers through his hair.

“What did Hux want?” He asked, not really answering her question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When it’s my death anniversary. - Father and Son by Cat Stevens
> 
> Playlist link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0ZXYcElOfig9YcrmLmYj6R?si=p9v3V6yHRU2r4cv9Me2mxA
> 
> -X


	98. Don't Worry About Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who cried, thank you. There is no greater honour for me than to hear that. 
> 
> -X

He packed a bag and brought them home to Rey’s apartment. He’d brought his computer and the flash drive too and they holed up in her apartment for the next few days doing nothing but eat, sleep and fuck, interspersed by long showers made longer by kissing and exploring each other which ultimately ended up with them back in bed, as dirty as if not more so than when they’d started.

Rey wasn’t really much to complain. It was like they had their own little world although her phone had blown up the moment she’d charged it with Poe demanding why she wasn’t answering anything and asking if she was alright.

She assured him that she was fine. It’s a wonder really, how he hasn’t figured out that she and Ben were dating.

Rey did the groceries so nobody would guess that Ben was in the area and he was okay with that. He busied himself with making copies of Han’s videos and editing them before turning them into mp3s so he could upload them to his phone. Once or twice she caught him rubbing his eyes.

She smiled; he was healing, even just a little.

So on New Year’s Eve they sat together in the living room, her editing the video they’d made and him converting music.

It was nice.

He’d told her to keep the video of them making out just for the sake of it and she blushed but kept a copy anyway.

She uploaded the video and sent the link in their group chat.

“I have to go back to the penthouse tomorrow,” He said with a sigh.

She frowned, “Oh,” She didn’t want him to go, really. She liked having him around. Everything was cozy and warm and _perfect_.

“I don’t want to,” He said, “But Phas said it wouldn’t be good if I was caught coming out of here again or if we go to the studio together.”

“She’s right,” She said, snuggling under his arm. They’d taken to sitting on her rug and leaning against the couch. He pressed a kiss on her crown, “Are you nervous about the interview?”

He sighed heavily, “Yes. Phas wouldn’t let me know what I’d be wearing or what possible questions I should prepare for either.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, you’ve done a lot of interviews and you always look so confident and put together.”

He chuckled, “I’m an actor, sweet thing, that’s kinda my thing.”

They were looking through her Twitter feed. The thirty-second video of him singing had gone viral, with people saying they were touched by the emotions he’d put into it. Others were saying that he was singing it to her.

_That brief glance right there at around 0:23! He was looking at the camera! OMG @That_British_Girl He was singing to you! #Reylo4Eva #OMG #Serenade_

_No way, that’s a coincidence, right? @That_British_Girl is way too pure for someone like @BenSolo and she’s so young! #NoToReylo_

_Right? @That_British_Girl is an angel! #NoToReylo_

_Come on, @BenSolo is an angel too! I mean listen to him! And Rey @That_British_Girl said so herself! He seems like a nice guy. #YesToReylo #Reylo4Eva #PleaseDontBreakUp_

“I _am_ a nice guy,” Ben frowned and scrolled some more, “And I _was_ singing it to you.”

Rey giggled, “I’m flattered,”

_Why aren’t you guys addressing the rumours? @BenSolo @That_British_Girl Are you dating? #YayOrNay #Reylo_

_Seriously, I’d be down for #Reylo they look so good together! And age? Really? They’re both adults leave them be. #YesToReylo_

“You should make a poll just for the hell of it.” He said, “I’ll vote too.”

“It better be a ‘yes’,” She said and he laughed.

The smell of herbs wafted from the kitchen and Ben got up to check on the pasta sauce they’d been simmering. She smiled and took a photo as he was tasting it. He looked good standing there and once their relationship was out in the open she’d be able to show the world just how good he takes care of her.

People judge him too hard, they never see this side of him and though she wanted this to herself, it might be good for his image if people were to see. She’s going to have to ask him and Phasma if they were okay with it though.

Rose had been asking her how it’s going, no doubt she’d be telling Hux too especially since he’d been very worried. Ben had told him he’d finally opened the envelope. She _did_ feel a little guilty for keeping it from Finn and Poe but it’d be a nice surprise once they confirmed it online. Leia loved the idea too, in fact she’d been the one telling them how to announce it.

Her phone rang just as Ben was returning from the kitchen. He had his hair tied upin a bun again and she itched to braid it. He had such gorgeous hair.

“Your phone’s ringing,” His lip twitched up and he arched a brow. She flushed and looked down at her phone.

She answered, “Oh my God Rey, that was amazing!” Rose said on the other end of the line, “I can’t believe you dedicated a song to us!”

“Us too,” Poe said. She put in on loudspeaker, “Finn _cried_ ,”

“Excuse me, _you_ did too. Harder than _I_ did, thank you very much.” Finn added, “Seriously, Rey, thank you.”

“That was Ben right, the one singing with you?” Rose asked.

“Of course it is, who else would it be?” Hux snorted, “I heard _that_ voice enough times to know.”

“Hm, are you complaining?” Ben asked, “After all that effort we put in?”

“Solo?”

“Dameron,”

“Err, are you in the call too?” He sounded so confused that Rey couldn’t help but laugh, “Are you uh, spending New Year with Rey?”

“Yes.” Ben said, “Problem?”

“Uh, no,” Poe laughed awkwardly, “You’ve been spending a lot of time together, huh,”

“Is there uh, anything we should know?” Finn asked, “And what’s up with the box of stuff you sent over?”

“I’m taking over your old room,” Ben said.

“Wait, you mean, you’re not sleeping in the same room?” Poe asked and Rose burst out laughing, “Man, we were supposed to come surprise you tonight.”

“There’s probably enough pasta for everyone,” Rey said and Ben inclined his head.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Finn said with a small laugh, “I think we’ll order Chinese instead.”

“Mm, Chinese sounds good,” Poe said.

“Not that there’s anyone else open today,” Rose laughed, “We’re having meat pie,”

“Anyway we really just wanted to check in and say thank you,” Hux said, “It was really beautiful,”

“Will you sing in our wedding?” Rose asked, “You don’t have to, of course, but it’d be really great,”

“I’d love to!” Rey said and looked at Ben who shrugged.

“Sure,” He said. Rose squealed.

“Oh my gosh that’s amazing! Best present ever,” She said with a giggle.

“Hey, ours too!” She could hear the pout in Poe’s voice, “And we really should decide on the dates so we don’t clash,”

“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Rose said, “And should we have the dresses and tux’s done in the same place?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea,” Finn said, “We should all meet and talk about it sometime,”

“ _After_ the second. We’ll schedule it,” Hux said, “Again, thank you, Rey, Solo,” Rey flushed a little at the way Hux said it; Rey Solo does have a nice ring to it.

“That sounds nice, doesn’t it?” Ben murmured and she squirmed. Did he mean…? Her heart raced. “I’m going to check on the sauce again,” He got up and went back to the kitchen.


	99. I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: #smut #YesMoreSmut #TeeHee #ICantWriteWithoutSmut #AllAboardTheSmutBus 🔥 🔥 🔥 
> 
> Note there is a POV shift here (because the next bit is pretty short so it felt weird to put it in another chapter. Actually originally titled this as Bang Bang Into The Room then Bang Bang There Goes Your Heart and finally, Don't Wanna Miss A Thing because I am sappy)
> 
> -X

After dinner they’d retired to the sofa to watch a rerun of the ball drop. Ben had realised his mistake the moment it had come out of his mouth and like a coward, he’d run to the kitchen. What was he thinking? He remembered his grandmother’s ring still sitting in the small vault he has in his closet in the penthouse.

When would it be considered appropriate to propose? A month? A year?

It had only been a week.

She didn’t mention it and neither did he.

They’d made leaps and bounds in progress in that one week. He honestly didn’t want it to end.

“Have you ever been to New York?” He asked while they waited.

They didn’t turn on the lights, instead letting the soft glow of the fairy lights tacked on the exposed brick wall behind them illuminate the area. It was cozy and more than a little romantic. He loved it.

And he loved how she was wearing his sweater.

He leaned down a little to press a kiss on her exposed shoulder.

“No, I haven’t been,” She admitted, “I mostly stay in California now but I’ve been to Arizona and I lived Nevada,”

“All wide skies and desert,” He mumbled, “California must’ve been a shock,”

“It was!” She glanced up at him with a laughing smile, “So much greenery! And the ocean!”

Would she like a house near the beach? Maybe Rancho Palos Verde or Santa Barbara so it’s not too kitschy. But then those were way too far from Hollywood. He frowned.

Venice Beach is okay too, he supposed, slightly nearer and not as busy as Santa Monica but if worse comes to worse he’d be okay with Santa Monica.

“Ben?” He turned to her, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking,” He said, brushing his lips against her forehead, “Would you want to go to New York? We can watch a play or something. Or if you want to watch the ball drop we can go next year,”

She sat up a little so she could look at him with those big doe eyes, “Really?” She stared at him unblinkingly, “You mean it?”

His lip quirked up, “Of course,” He said, “Why won’t I?”

“You mean next year,”

“Sure, if that’s what you want? Or we can go somewhere else. I hear Japan’s nice this time of year, or if you’d want somewhere more western there’s always Europe. If you want even closer Lake Tahoe’s nice too. We can rent a cabin, make a snowman,”

“You mean we’ll still spend New Year together next year?” She finally blinked and her eyes shone, twinkled even. Was it because of the sudden sheen of tears in her eyes or was it because she was happy?

“Of course, we would.” He frowned, “Unless you’re planning on breaking up with me anytime within the year,”

She flushed and shook her head, “No, not if I can help it,”

He coughed out a laugh, “I’m not sure if I like the sound of that, Rey.” He brushed his lips against her eyelids, “I told you, you can’t get rid of me that easily,”

“I wouldn’t want to,” She mumbled.

The timer flashed. _Fifteen minutes_.

He didn’t really care. He could hear fireworks going off in the distance. The penthouse would’ve had a much nicer view but he really liked her apartment. It was cozy and warm like her.

He brushed his lips against hers and she melted against him. Her hand pressed on his chest and he pressed his over hers, tangling their fingers together. Using one arm he pulled her over his lap so she was straddling him. She made a soft mewling sound and his cock jerked in his joggers.

He let go of her hand so he could brush both of his on her thighs. She shivered. He loved seeing her legs. He couldn’t wait for summer; he could already imagine her in cut-offs and sundresses. Her arms went around his neck and she moaned when his tongue swept up against hers.

They only broke apart so they could pull her sweater and his t-shirt off then they were kissing again, slow, heated kisses that turned rough and hungry.

There was a loud rip and she gasped, “Ben, that’s the second time,” She moaned and he caught the end of it with an open-mouthed kiss.

“I’ll buy you all the underwear you want,” He groaned. She was untying the string of his pants and he helped her shove his pants down just far enough for his cock to spring out.

_Ten minutes._

She got on her knees and he held his cock steady against her pussy. His breath hitched and she whimpered a little he spread her open, the fat head of his cock disappearing inside her, and when he was halfway in, he let go and wrapped his hands around her waist.

They both groaned when she finally managed to take him to the root. Even now she gripped him tight, like she wasn’t quite used to his girth. His cock pulsed and her pussy clenched down unintentionally.

He moaned and buried his face in her neck. He tried not to nip; the hickeys he’d left her were only starting to fade and it’d be hard to hide once they start appearing in public again. It wouldn’t do her image any good if anyone spots it.

She clenched down again and all thoughts about her image flew out of his head.

_Five minutes._

They started moving a desperate rolling, staccato movement. He sought out her mouth again.

The countdown started.

She clenched hard around him and his hips stuttered and jerked up sharply. She gasped and curled around him, her blunt nails digging tiny crescents on his skin.

She shuddered, “Rey, Rey, look at me,” He gasped and grasped at her face. _Ten, nine, eight_ , she met his eyes dazedly and he panted. His balls drew up, _five, four,_ “I love you,” He gasped, “I love you, Rey,” Her cheeks, already flushed, grew even redder, and her pussy tightened around him like a vice. He bit his lip and groaned. _One._

Fireworks and cheers exploded from the TV but he could barely hear it as he came.

Her lips came crashing down on his and his eyes rolled back. Her pussy fluttered around him as she shuddered.

His head lolled back on the sofa and he panted. Then he leaned forward to press a sloppy kiss on her forehead, “Happy New Year, baby girl,” He murmured. She looked up to meet his eyes; her eyes were large and still slightly dazed. He could hear fireworks and kazoos in the distance, or was it from the TV?

“Happy New Year, Daddy,” She said almost automatically and he swallowed hard. What would happen if someone were to hear her say that in public? They’ve only really just used it to tease, “Did you mean it?”

“Hm?” He tucked her hair behind her ear and she flushed and looked down, “I meant it,” He murmured and cupped her cheek to make her meet his eyes again. She did and his breath hitched at the terror that he saw in them, “Rey, what is it?”

“Ben, I,” She blinked and swallowed hard enough for him to hear.

“Rey,” His thumb brushed her lower lip, “You don’t have to say anything.” He could feel her tremble, “I know.” She cupped her hand over his on her cheek, “I know, baby. You don’t have to say it. Just…stay with me,”

She nodded and allowed him to pull her in for another kiss.

\-------

_I love you, Rey._

He’d brought them, with him still inside her, into the bedroom before continuing. He’d kissed her and fucked her with a quiet desperation that never seemed to disappear no matter how many times they’ve done it. It was like he expected her to leave him when really, it was her who was scared of being left.

But she understood. He was terrified of being left alone too especially now that they’ve found each other.

Why couldn’t she tell him that she loved him too?

She watched him sleep. The dappled morning sun just filtering in from the gap between her curtains made shadows on the harsh planes of his face. She touched his lower lip lightly and felt, rather than heard, his soft sigh.

He would be going home today, back in that big, cold, impersonal space. Was there anything she could give him that’d make the space just a little bit warmer while she’s not with him?

His eyes opened and he arched a brow, “What are you looking at?” He rasped and pulled her closer to brush his lips against hers, “‘Morning,”

“Good morning,” She snuggled and sighed, “What time are you going home?”

“I _am_ home,” He said sleepily and yawned, “Dunno. Maybe in the evening,” Heat rushed to her cheeks.

“Y-you shouldn’t go back so late,” She stammered, “You have a long day tomorrow,”

“Mm,” He threw leg over hers and buried his face in her hair. His breathing evened out again as he went back to sleep.

His strong heartbeat calmed her.

They woke up again at noon. Rey was a little upset that she’d fallen back to sleep. It was strange how quickly she’d gotten used to having him in her bed and the thought of sleeping alone tonight made her chest ache. She stared at him bustling in her tiny kitchen.

Poe had told her that Amilyn was set on having a pre-launch signing-slash-meet-and-greet for the single before they go ahead with the actual album so she’d rushed to post about it online. Once the holidays end would they get busy again and not see each other?

They ate a light lunch and lazed around the apartment for the rest of the day.

“You should go home before it gets too late,” She said as she cleared their dinner. He helped her load the dishwasher and gave her a kiss.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll just wake up early tomorrow,” He said and she laughed.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Her heart ached at the small smile he gave her, “I’ll see you tomorrow,”

He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, “Yeah.”

They held onto each other before reluctantly letting go.

“Take this with you,” She said, handing him a repurposed yellow mug with a small basil bush planted inside.

They lingered at the door.

“Don’t come down,” He said and tucked her hair back, “Would I still have clothes when I come back or should I bring some more?” He gave her a teasing smile and arched a brow. She flushed.

“I’m not going to steal _all_ of them.” She said and he laughed. He gave her one last lingering kiss and left. He looked back once and waved. She pouted and waved back, making him chuckle.

She shut the door and sighed.

It was suddenly so quiet.

She missed him already.


	100. Good Evening, America

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of Leia's interview! I wanted to post both chapters today but unfortunately I didn't finish on time as I've caught up to myself😔 Anyway! Enjoy!
> 
> -X

oe picked up Rey first before they went to get Leia. Jessika Pava’s assistant said they had to be there by one if they wanted to air by nine-thirty in the evening and once they arrived, they were ushered into a small dressing room so they could put make up on Leia.

“Okay, so you _have_ to mention Amilyn and Rey’s pre-launch.” Poe told Leia who chuckled, “You know how Holdo is, right? You can’t even know what the hell she’s thinking. Really, how the hell can we put out marketing about it in less than a week?”

“To be fair the announcement of this interview isn’t all that long ago, either.” Leia said and Poe snorted.

“Yes but you’ve _never_ done an interview before so it was bound to get people interested. At least, all the necessary people anyway and once you’ve dropped the bomb more people will watch. An event is different.”

Rey listened to them with half an ear and wondered if Ben had arrived too. Would it be risky if they were caught together? Poe didn’t know of their relationship yet. Would he notice?

“Rey?” She flushed and looked at Leia who was barely hiding her smile, “Would you be a dear and check if my son’s here? My phone can’t seem to get a good network,”

“Sure,” She grinned and Leia gave her a wink when Poe wasn’t looking.

She slid out of Leia’s dressing room and wandered around until she found one marked with _‘Solo’_. She knocked and shivered when he heard his deep voice coming from inside.

She slipped in. He was reading something, “I’ll be done in a minute,” He said.

“Take your time,” She said and he froze before looking up. He smiled that devastating smile of his, complete with dimples, and threw whatever he was reading on the make up table.

He was on her in two long strides. The wood of the door was hard against her back but his hand protected her head from banging against the door. She whimpered into his kiss before throwing her arms around his neck.

He pulled away just as suddenly as he kissed her, “I missed you,” He murmured and made to kiss her again.

Voices from outside grew louder and he cursed softly before pressing another bruising kiss on her lips.

The door knob jingled and he stood back a little. Rey did too and Hux blinked at her.

“Oh,” He flushed, averted his eyes and cleared his throat, “Rey, I had no idea you were here.”

“Um, Leia wanted to know if Ben had arrived so I really should head back,” She said and glanced at Ben. Thank goodness he didn’t seem to have lipstick on him this time. She looked at the mirror discreetly; her hair was a little messy but otherwise she looked fine.

She adjusted the soft cotton scarf she had on and smiled.

Hux entered the room with the make up artist in tow, “Well, you can safely tell Ms. Organa that we are on time and _please_ , don’t spoil that he’s actually here on TV. We don’t want to have to do retakes,”

Ben crossed his arms and snorted, “It’s mom, she’s not going to make a mistake like that.”

“True, but it’s always nice to have a reminder,” He said and started fussing with Rey’s hair. Ben’s scowl deepened and Hux scowled back, “You’re not appearing anywhere, are you?”

“Not that I know of,” Rey said. The make up artist urged Ben to sit back on his chair, “I guess I’ll get going now. See you guys later?”

Ben gave her a small smile while Hux walked her to the door.

They were seated at the very front and were reminded that phones are not allowed to be taken out. Jessika Pava had approached them with a large smile, saying that she’s always been a big fan of Resistance and their stars before taking a selfie with Rey. 

“I can’t believe I’ll be the first person to interview _the_ Leia Organa!” She laughed. Her laugh was loud and boisterous and contagious. One of the crew called her and she waved at them before going back up the stage.

Her make up artist touched up her make up while she read through her cue cards.

Rey looked around the surprisingly small set. Once everything was ready, they settled back in their seats.

Leia was introduced and she walked confidently onto the stage, waving and smiling, wearing what is now her signature look; Han’s brown leather jacket over a white pantsuit.

“Okay, I’d just like to say that I’ve always been such a big fan,” Jessika said with a laugh, “And having you here tonight, I, I’m speechless, I just,” She laughed again, “You’re like a superhero to children like me, you know?”

Leia chuckled, “Thank you, Jess, for having me. I really do appreciate the thought but I’m really just a normal businesswoman.”

“Oh but you have to admit that you’ve given so many people the opportunity to achieve their dreams! And you started out so young too, and in a time when it’s not very common for women to be in the industry unless you’re an actress or a singer,” She _was_ right, if it weren’t for Resistance Rey would still be a small-time Youtuber with two other part-time jobs.

“Well, you know, I wasn’t really one for the limelight. I’d rather support others. Speaking of, I’ll do a shameless plug right now, if you don’t mind.” She laughed and so did Jessika. She waved her hand as a go-ahead, “You know Amilyn Holdo right, she was one of our first women rockstars in Resistance. Well she teamed up with one of my _newest_ stars Rey Johnson, lovely girl by the way,” Rey flushed a little and ducked her head, “And they’re having a pre-launch meet for their single next week. We’d love for you to go,”

“I’d never turn down an invite from you,” Jessika said, “And a collab? That sounds great! Amilyn Holdo’s always been this cool, strong, traditional rockstar character type and Rey Johnson’s just, well, she’s just really very cute.” Rey squirmed in her seat and Poe nudged her and laugh, “So I really can’t wait to see what their song is going to be like,” Then she leaned forward a little, “But you know,” Her tone turned almost conspiring, “What I’m really curious about has more to do with your personal life.”

Leia laughed, “Of course, I mean, I did say I’d bare all,”

Jessika grinned, “Exactly! We’re having a heart-to-heart, tell-all exclusive aren’t we?” Leia nodded, “So really, why is it that nobody knows _anything_ at all about your personal life? If you look up Leia Organa online it’s always about Resistance,”

Leia chuckled, “Well, funny story that. Leia Organa has always been all about Resistance.” Jessika’s brows shot up, “But Leia Skywalker on the other hand, well that’s a very different story,”

“You mean to tell me that you’re not originally Organa?”

“It was very easy to reinvent yourself back in the day, you know?” Leia chuckled, “I was originally a Skywalker. I’m sure you’ve all heard about my father, Anakin Skywalker and my brother, Luke.”

“You mean the greatest classically trained pianist of our time Anakin Skywalker,” Leia nodded sagely. Rey was amazed at how authentic Jessika Pava’s surprised expression was, “And isn’t Luke Skywalker that travel photographer? I know he received an award last year,” Leia nodded, “Wow, I never realised your family was full of talented people,”

Leia laughed again, “Well you know what they say about that. In any case I didn’t want to ride on my father’s coattails, if you know what I mean. And he wasn’t actually very fond of my kind of music,” Jessika chuckled a little, “So I borrowed an uncle’s name and started Resistance, at first to help my husband, and eventually to help all the other young dreamers.”

“Did you say _husband_? Did I hear that correctly? You have a husband?”

“Yes,” Leia chuckled, “My husband and I were very, very careful about our private life. He had an image to maintain, you know? And so did I, I suppose.”

“Can we have a _name_?” Jessika’s eyes were twinkling. Rey knew they discussed the topic of her husband behind the scenes but she wasn’t exactly told _who_ it was, only that it was a well-known person. Phasma herself was working with the IT linked to the large LED screen behind Leia.

“Well, my husband’s been gone for almost a decade now so I don’t think it’d hurt.” She sighed a little and gave a nostalgic smile; the camera would’ve zoomed in on her face, “Honestly I was surprised nobody realised.”

“Come on, Leia, the anticipation is _killing_ me. Is he someone with a big name too, like you?” When Leia nodded, she continued, “Is he a big businessman? A politician?”

Leia laughed again and touched her necklace, the same twin die necklace she had on during the party, “Oh no, dear, he’s more of a rogue, a _pirate_ you could say.” 

Jessika’s brows shot up and Rey was almost _sure_ that this time the shock on her face was real, “You don’t mean…”

The LED screen flashed behind Leia and there was a collective gasp in the audience behind Rey. Even Jessika Pava looked stunned.

Leia glanced back and smiled a little sadly.

It was an older photo of Han in the middle of a concert. Luke’s logo was watermarked across Han’s thigh and half of his guitar. His eyes were screwed shut and he was leaning close to the mic with his mouth open in an almost-snarl.

It wasn’t the same guitar as the one Leia had in her garage but it was close enough.

Jessika’s hair flipped around when she turned to Leia quickly, “No way,” She said, “ _Han Solo_ , _the_ Han Solo from Han and the Chewies? _He’s_ your husband?”

Leia let out an uncharacteristic giggle and covered her mouth, “Oh dear,” She cleared her throat. Rey sat close enough to the small stage to see the flush on Leia’s cheeks, “Yes, Han was my husband.” She sighed, “We had so many happy years together,”

Rey’s heart twinged a little. What would she do if the man she loved died? She thought of Ben and bit her lip. Would she be able to move forward like Leia?

“I,” Jessika cleared her throat, “Well, I am just, _wow_. And nobody knew and now that I think about it. Isn’t that the same jacket he’s wearing in this photo?”

Leia shrugged delicately, “Yes. My husband was a good twelve years older than I was but he was everything to me and when he died,” She sighed, “I felt like I lost a part of myself too. I’m sure that’s exactly what our son was thinking too since, well, we kind of fell apart.” She laughed a little, almost bitterly, “But I _am_ a mother and I hoped he’d be able to heal on his own too so I kept myself busy.”

“So you and Han shared a son and you two managed to hide it from the world. That’s _amazing_.”

“Honestly it’s mostly dumb luck. I don’t even know _how_ we managed and seeing as our son is _also_ a public figure and he does look _so much_ like his father, I don’t understand how nobody noticed. But I _am_ proud of what he became on his own, you know? Without using my or his father’s popularity to boost his own.”

“Okay, now I am _really_ curious too, _who_ exactly is your son?” Jessika grinned, “We’ll find out after the break,”

The camera stopped rolling and Jessika sighed, “Han Solo, really?”

Leia laughed and then sighed, looking back at the picture still on the screen, “Yes.”

“How?”

“Well, you know, my brother forced me to attend a concert with him and the moment we met each other’s eyes it was just…” She shrugged, “Love at first sight.”

Jessika sighed and smiled, “You can totally write a book about it,”

Leia chuckled, “Maybe, we’ll see.”


	101. Good Evening, America pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so much for all the congratulatory messages. The fic isn't quite 100k words yet but we're so close! And I had no idea it was such a milestone 🥲 I can't believe I reached this far either and I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for all your kind words.
> 
> Secondly, I managed to run away from myself again yay! But it won't be for a few days before I can post double/triple chapter again hehe. Thank you for your patience.
> 
> -X

“And we are back!” Jessika said cheerfully.

Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He’d have to go out soon. He saw Rey in the crowd. He was surprised when Phasma burst in the dressing room holding the bag that contained what he was wearing.

He recognised it instantly, of course. The leather of his jacket squeaked and he grimaced. Han’s never sounded like that. He’d never fit in his father’s old clothes anyway.

But the reproduction looked good. The buckle on his shoulder jangled as he moved and the brow leather belt and thigh rig made him a little uncomfortable. How could Han even perform in this? His leg felt stiff. Phasma told him to move around a little to break it in.

He clutched at dice hanging on a leather cord around his neck. He brought the keys for good luck but he remembered when Phasma was fussing over his outfit how his father had done the same as a tribute to his mother. So he did the same just for authenticity’s sake. Holding it calmed him now though, like it did when he was younger.

“So _who_ did you say your son was?” He heard Jessika say, “Someone famous too, you said,”

He was cued from the other side of the stage and he swallowed hard, adjusted the mic clipped on his jacket and braced himself before walking out with what he hoped was a roguish smile that matched his father’s, “Did I come out too early?” He asked, “Should I go back in again?”

He heard the whispers and the gasps.

“Well the cat’s out of the bag anyway,” Jessika laughed and he shrugged a little, smiling.

He glanced at the audience and met Rey’s eyes. He smiled a little wider and winked.

She flushed.

“But _what_ an outfit change,” Jessika said and he looked at his clothes.

“Well, I admit it’s not my normal style but I think it looks pretty good,” He pushed his hair back, “What do you think, mom?”

“Oh,” She laughed airily, “Oh dear, for a moment there I thought I was looking at your father,” The screen behind Leia flashed again and this time, it was a side-by-side photo of him singing at Leia’s party and Han. They _did_ look very similar. Even the pose and the expression on their faces.

He had wanted to be like his father, once upon a time.

He let out another smile and went to sit next to her.

“So, first of all, would you like to tell us your name?” Ben arched a brow.

“Ben Solo,” He said automatically.

“Oh, we know that, but what about your full name?”

Ben shook his head a little, “Well, if I must it’s Benjamin Organa-Solo but I only ever used Ben Solo.”

“Now that I think about it, how _did_ no one find out? Solo isn’t a very common last name, is it?”

He chuckled, “Well, people weren’t looking and I just kinda kept my head down for the most part.”

“So what’s it like having two of the biggest names in modern music history be your parents?” Jessika leaned forward and Ben chuckled.

“Well, I mean, I thought it was pretty lame.” Leia looked at him sharply, brows shooting up, and he laughed, “I mean, what kid doesn’t think their parents were lame, right?”

“Benjamin,” Leia pouted a little and he patted her arm.

“I mean, I grew up mostly in Mishawaka and when I came to live here, I was kinda one those little edgy little shits.” This made people laugh, “So you know, I didn’t really think much of my parents being famous. They weren’t the best, either but,” He looked at his still-pouting mother, “But they _tried_ their best and I think that’s what matters, right?”

“Aw, that’s so sweet! But why now? Why didn’t you tell the world when Han Solo died?” Jessika said.

Ben flinched. “That’d be my fault,” He said before Leia could answer, “I uh, well, I was really upset when dad died and since we never really talked about it, we kind of just went about our lives. I joined the Marines, was discharged and then an acting job fell into my lap and I just went along with it, and that’s how I ended up in show business.”

Leia was nodding, “I threw myself into my work but of course I _did_ keep an eye out for the progress of our aspiring actor,”

“Wait, earlier Leia said you fell apart, does that mean you two haven’t actually seen each other in years?” Leia answered in the affirmative, “So how _did_ you see each other again, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well, as I’ve said, I was a little shit.” Ben scratched at his neck, “I wasn’t really the best son either,”

“Ben, don’t say that,” Leia frowned at him.

“I didn’t even know what was happening in Resistance since I didn’t really check but a friend of mine,” He glanced at Rey, “A friend of mine invited me to a performance.”

“Oh, do tell,”

“It’s uh, a Resistance starlet,” Jessika’s smile grew and her eyes twinkled but she didn’t say anything. Everybody would’ve known what he was talking about anyway, “There was this song that she sang and it reminded me of my parents. My dad used to sing it all the time,”

“May we know what song this is?”

He forced a laugh, “I’m pretty sure we all know what song this is, I mean, it was pretty big news at the time. Anyway I was just sulking quietly in the bar and this girl comes up and just…” He looked down and tried not to smile too widely at the memory, “I thought she recognised me but she was only there to get water. She told me to keep moving forward, so I called mom and that’s that.”

Leia snorted, “Took you a while to call though. You always were as stubborn as your father,”

Ben’s brows shot up, “I thought _you’re_ the stubborn one?”

“Well, but here we are, all caught up.” Leia shrugged delicately and he chuckled.

“This girl,” There was a speculative gleam in Jessika’s eye, “Since you’re here, you two don’t happen to be dating, are you?”

“Thank you for that question Jess, but I believe we’re having a tell-all with _Leia Organa_ and not Ben Solo,” Ben deflected and Jessika laughed.

“Oh, you’re no fun,” She sighed dramatically, “But that’s all the time that we have today,”

They exchanged pleasantries and waited until they heard the word ‘cut’ before getting up.

“That was fun, Jess.” Leia said, shaking Jessika’s hand, “Thank you.”

“No, no, thank _you_ ,” Jessika said, “I still can’t believe you were married to Han Solo!”

Then she turned to Ben and grinned, “And thank _you_ for indulging us with this outfit. It actually really suits you,”

“Thanks, I think,” He mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Will we see you at Amilyn’s pre-launch?”

“Oh, you bet!” She grinned, “And don’t think you’ve escaped, Ben Solo. You _would_ answer that question.”

“I would, eventually.” He said, “But I’ll do it on my terms.”

Leia laughed and waved Poe and Rey over, “Well, what did you think?” She asked them.

“You were great, of course,” Poe laughed and slung an arm around Rey. Ben felt his jaw tighten a little.

“Are you sure, it’s my first interview in…well, ever,” Ben had never seen his mother nervous before.

“You were really great,” Rey said, “And you’re natural on stage.”

“Well of course, where do you think Ben gets it?” She winked and Rey laughed.

“I knew I got it from _somewhere_ ,” He sighed and met Rey’s eyes. He wanted to be the one to hold her under his arm.

She gave him a small smile, “You’re pouting,” She whispered and Leia elbowed him.

“Well, he’s not as good an actor as I am, apparently.” She said with a sniff of practiced disdain.

Ben scowled.

Jessika laughed.

They waited for Hux and Phasma to arrive before Leia declared that they had to get back to the office.

He gave one last lingering look at Rey before sighing and running his fingers through his hair.

He couldn’t even give her a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is his interview outfit inspiration: Ben Solo by Amelia Lola 
> 
> I saw it in the Reylo reddit group and fell in love with it!
> 
> As for that little shrug there, well, you know the one. (No idea how to post gifs so EDIT: I LEARNED HOW)


	102. I'll Put A Flower In Your Hair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at 100k+ words now! This fic is long enough to be a novel (I'm so happy omg) I've never written anything this long before and I'm so glad ya'll are with me on this wonderful journey of ours. 
> 
> -X

The news that Ben Solo was Han Solo and Leia Organa’s son was all everyone could talk about. News articles, blog posts, TV reports, even the radio DJ. Paparazzis camped outside his penthouse, Leia’s house and even Resistance and First Order.

It didn’t take long before people started wondering when Rey had entered Resistance.

She expected it especially since her name’s been linked so often with Ben’s. He even mentioned exactly how he ended up making amends with his mother. Of course, that never really stopped people from spreading rumours that she’s only in Resistance _because_ Leia’s Ben’s mother.

It was ridiculous.

“Don’t let it get to you, my sweet little angel.” Amilyn said in her calm voice. It was a stark contrast to the deep metallic pink that was her current hair colour, “When I first started you wouldn’t believe how many people reacted badly. Now, I need you to be your usual beautiful, bubbly self and smile.”

Rey couldn’t help it. She did smile. Amilyn had presented her a sparkling baby blue sequinned jacket that matched her pink one the day before saying she should wear it to their event.

She did. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable.

Like her own album signing, it was held in an event hall, this time much larger than the one they’d rented. Both hers and Amilyn’s fans were lined up outside waiting for the clock to strike ten so they could enter and purchase a CD. Amilyn had announced that the a hundred of their CDs had a trinket of some sort inside at random. She’d even gotten LPs made at such a short notice. Fifty of those would be pink and ten in blue. It was pretty effective at getting people to turn up despite the gloomy weather outside.

Leia was already there barking orders at everyone.

“Don’t just stand there, you two. Sit down and look pretty!” She said and Rey flushed and nodded.

Amilyn only chuckled, “As you wish, general.” She linked her arm to Rey’s and brought her up to the stage where their table and chairs were set up.

She chewed on her lower lip and smiled at Finn and Rose who brought them coffee.

Hux and Ben of course, couldn’t make it.

She sighed a little.

It’s been a week and though they’ve been FaceTiming a lot, it didn’t seem enough. What would happen when he picks up another role and start shooting? Or what about when her sales go up high enough that she could start touring the country, maybe even the world?

Amilyn nudged her and she flushed, “Get your head in the game, doll.”

She smiled at her and nodded.

People were starting to file in after having their bags checked. Generally people bought merchandise first before going straight to the stage. There was only one direction they’re supposed to follow, line up at the side, sit in front of Amilyn for her to chat a little and sign the merch, and then proceed to the next chair for Rey’s turn.

It was all very simple and orderly. After that they go look around at the various merchants who’d set up stalls around them. Most of them were long-time Resistance partners. She wondered if they’d be able to have a break. She’d love to try the meat in Ronto’s Roasters.

The first few arrived at their stations and she smiled widely.

“Thank you so much for coming!” She said and gasped when the man in front of her thrust a paper bag at her, “Oh, a gift? For me?” She glanced inside briefly and smiled, “Thank you, you shouldn’t have,”

It wasn’t the first time she’d received gifts. Resistance had a storage room _specifically_ for gifts the stars didn’t want to keep. It was a sweet gesture though.

“Our princess deserves all the nice things,” He stammered a little and she giggled before signing his record.

The hours passed quickly. She and Amilyn didn’t get to have a break but Finn and Rose were godsends, feeding them snacks in the short lull and running around to get them more coffee.

“This is for you,” The teen in front of her said shyly, sliding a small plush towards her. She blinked at the angry-looking Kylo and laughed. The girl flushed.

“S-sorry, I didn’t expect this,” She took it and the head lolled back, she giggled again.

“I m-made it,” She said and Rey grinned.

“Really? It’s amazing, are you selling them?” She shook her head, “You should! It looked great! Let me know if you would and I’d totally buy,” The girl turned even brighter and thanked her. Rey signed the CD and took a selfie. She held the doll up.

“That’s cute,” Amilyn said. Rey propped it up in front of her so it just sat there looking cute and angry, “Missing your beau already?”

Rey’s cheeks flushed and she waved her away and focused on the person in front of her.

“Hi!” She said cheerfully. The person placed a sunflower enclosed in an acrylic box in front of her, next to the knitted Kylo and she smiled. She glanced at Amilyn who had a similar one except hers was a carnation, “Oh, it’s lovely, thank you. Who should I sign for?”

“Is ‘boyfriend’ too forward, do you think?” He asked and her head shot up, “Hello, Rey.”

She sucked in a breath, “Ben?” As usual he had his hood up and he pulled his neck warmer down just enough for her to see his half-smile. His eyebrow twitched up then down again once in an almost wink-like gesture. She flushed.

“Miss me?” He asked softly and she ducked down and signed the record for him. She handed it back without meeting his eyes. He looked down at the record and chuckled, “I missed you too, baby girl.”

_World’s Best Boyfriend: I missed you._

“Picture?” He grinned. She glanced at Amilyn again who was chatting up a storm with the person coming in after Ben.

What a sly lady.

She moved to stand next to him and he raised his phone, “Cute doll,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled. She tried not to smile _too_ widely but she couldn’t help it.

Her heart was beating so quickly it left her breathless, _Ben is here!_ “I think Leia’s with Jessika Pava in the cafe at the back,”

“I’ll find them.” He said, “Don’t work too hard,” He rubbed his thumb briefly on her shoulder before letting her go.“See you later,”

She smiled and went back to her seat like nothing happened. She touched her hair and wondered when did he put the sunflower hair clip on her hair and how could she not notice?

“Oh my, look at this old lady,” Amilyn laughed lightly, “I talked too much,” The person in front of her stammered that no it was alright, and thank you for taking the time to talk to him.

He shuffled to Rey’s station and stammered some more.

Rey smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The meat I'm talking about in Rosto's Roasters is actually called Pitmaster's Choice from the official Galaxy's Edge Cookbook (Yes I have a Star Wars cookbook; title is: Star Wars Galaxy's Edge: The Official Black Spire Outpost Cookbook by Chelsea Monroe-Cassel and Marc Sumerak). I got it off of Amazon 😃 it's very reminiscent of the Chinese _bakkwa_. 
> 
> Also, the boxed flowers Ben gave is enclosed in an acrylic box because they're considered eternal flowers and won't ever wilt (they're preserved fresh flowers pretty much)
> 
> -X


	103. Don't Care If The Critics Jump In Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say a few days? Surprise! I managed to write a lot yay!
> 
> -X

Ben found his mother quick enough. He just had to follow the raucous laughter.

“Ben!” Leia said loud enough for people to look at him sharply.

He winced, “Mom.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and people started murmuring around them.

“Pull up a chair, dear, I’m so glad you’re here!” She smiled widely and he dragged a chair over to sit next to her.

He nodded at Jessika Pava and Finn.

“Ben Solo! So, are you going to answer my question now?” Jessika grinned.

“This isn’t an interview, Jess.” He said and changed the subject, “What did you think of the interview, Finn?”

“Hilarious, of course,” Finn laughed, “I gotta admit though, Solo, you looked pretty good in that outfit you wore, you should’ve worn that today.”

He shrugged.

“Ben! You’re here!” Rose said cheerfully. She was holding a tray with pastries while Poe was holding a tray with cups of coffee.

“Oh, hey, Solo. I didn’t know you’re here. What’d you like to drink? My treat,” Poe said and Ben arched a brow.

“That’s fine, Dameron, I’ll buy my own.” Poe frowned at him and he sighed, “Cold brew’s good.” Poe gave him a thumbs up, left the tray on the table and skipped back to the counter.

“Where’s Armie?” Rose asked, “He said you two’d be busy today so I didn’t really want to bother him too much,”

Ben felt his cheeks heat, “He uh, doesn’t know I’m here.”

Finn choked and snorted back a laugh.

Rose blinked and cleared her throat to hide a smile.

“Still as mischievous as ever,” Leia sighed dramatically , “Sometimes I pity that boy,”

Poe came back and handed him his coffee, “What’s so funny?”

“Solo didn’t tell Hugs he’s coming here.” Finn explained and Poe’s brows shot up.

“How long do you think before he’ll realise?” Poe asked.

Ben shrugged.

“Maybe soon,” Rose said, frowning at her phone. She jumped when her phone rang. “Hi, Armie! Are you done with your meeting?” She asked sweetly.

Poe snickered.

“Is Solo there?” Ben could hear Hux snarling angrily from across the small table.

“Erm,” Rose looked at him and he shrugged again, “Is he supposed to be?”

Jessika was looking at all of them with amusement. He didn’t really like the glint in her eyes. Would she say anything? He’s not sure yet. He didn’t know enough about Jessika Pava to know if he can let his guard down in front of her.

He extended his hand, asking for her phone and she grimaced, “He’s not happy,” She whispered loudly and handed him the phone.

“Armitage,” He said blandly.

“God damn it, Solo!” He winced, “Do you have _any_ idea how frantically we were looking for your bloody arse? Why the _fuck_ would you just sneak out like that?”

“I mean, we were pretty much done for the day,”

“Done? What do you mean done? We have so much paperwork and documentation you need to read and sign, you didn’t even tell me if you’re taking the job! Not to mention the interviews and the magazine features and we still need to schedule the photoshoots,”

He sighed, “Well, he said I could think about it and you know my schedule anyway.”

“Either way, you should’ve told me you’re skipping out! What if something happened to you?”

“Are you just upset you didn’t get to slip out?”

Hux paused for a long before before sighing heavily, “…fuck you.”

“Knew it.” He chuckled and handed the phone back to Rose.

“The turn-out’s pretty good, huh?” Poe said, “You staying until the end?”

“Yes.” He eyed the group next to their table as they whispered, “Maybe I’ll even let people take pictures,”

“How generous,” Poe said drily.

“Oh, don’t be so mean, Poe. It’s good publicity,” Leia said, “What do you think, Jess?”

“I mean wouldn’t it spread even more rumours? Why else would Ben Solo be here?” She eyed him and he arched a brow.

“Supporting my mother.” Ben said blandly, “Why else?”

She laughed, “Is it really just that?”

“Armie said he’s on the way,” Rose interrupted, changing the subject. She met Ben’s eyes and winked.


	104. I'm Gonna Give All My Secrets Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one tonight (also a bit early) 😉 Happy Saturday Eve!
> 
> -X

Amilyn didn’t join them for pizza. She said something about sinking and becoming one with the water. Only Poe and Leia seemed to understand what she meant.

They’d gone to Andor’s again and this time, a man named Cassian had popped up to say hello. He also asked if he could take a photo of their group to post online and gave them a pizza and a round of milkshakes for free.

“How are you going home?” Ben asked Leia. Rey was wearing his jacket again.

“She rode with us,” Poe said, “I guess we don’t have to bring Rey home, after all?” He waggled his brows and Rey flushed.

Finn gave her a questioning look and she looked away. But she knew Finn, he wouldn’t ask. Would he get mad though?

They walked back to the parking lot and she itched to take Ben’s hand. Would he stay over again? Maybe for the weekend? Would the paps pop up outside her house again?

“What’s gotten you thinking so deeply, baby girl?” He murmured and she jumped a little and flushed. Finn and Poe were walking a little ways in front with Leia while Hux and Rose stood behind them.

But Hux and Rose knew from the start. Would Finn get mad at her for not telling him? She hoped not.

“I was just wondering,” She said, “If you’ll stay the night?”

He smiled and both of his dimples flashed, “What do you think?”

“Don’t forget to thank your fans, sunshine,” Poe reminded her like he always did, “Solo, remind her, _please_.”

Ben arched a brow but agreed anyway.

The ride back to her apartment was quiet. She glanced at him and he turned to meet her eyes. He arched a brow, “What?”

“I like looking at you,” She said and he chuckled.

“I like looking at you too, sweet thing.”

“Won’t this make even more rumours?” She asked, “If you were caught staying over again, I mean.”

“Probably. I was thinking maybe we can announce it tonight,”

Her brows shot up, “Tonight?”

“Mm. Or tomorrow is good too, I guess. People already know I was in the event earlier and I’m pretty sure people’d be asking. I hope you don’t mind, I posted our picture.”

Her brows rose even higher, “You did?” He knew how to post pictures now? “Did you tag me?”

He flashed her a smile, “Of course,” Then he turned back to the road and his expression grew serious, “I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” She said, “It’s a little weird,”

“Why?” He chuckled, “Isn’t it normal?”

“I’m not sure, what _is_ normal?”

“Who knows,”

They grew silent again and she yawned.

“Sleep a little,” He said, “You look beat,”

She smiled, “But I like looking at you,”

He laughed, “You can look at me later, baby girl,”

She curled up on the seat, facing him, and let the rocking motion of the car lull her to sleep.

“Tired?” She yawned and entered her apartment ahead of him.

“Just a little,” She said and turned around quickly to steal a kiss from his lips. She didn’t quite reach it. She flushed.

He snorted back a laugh and leaned down to give her a proper kiss, “What do you normally do, after?”

“After an event?” He nodded, “Tub,”

“Should I fill it up for you?”

“I can do that,” She said and fidgeted, “You don’t have to,”

He sighed and smiled a little before cupping her cheek with one big hand, “Let me take care of you every once in a while,” He said and she remembered what Phasma had told her during Leia’s Christmas party when she’d caught them in the laundry room.

Ben Solo liked to take care of people even if he tried not to let it show.

She wasn’t used to being taken cared of. She bit her lip, “Okay,” She mumbled. The smile he gave her made her heart flutter and ache at the same time.

She took her boots and jacket off and sat on the couch to check Twitter again.

She posted the draft of the message she typed out earlier and found the photo he posted. _Missed my best_ girl. She flushed.

She liked and retweeted it with a heart emoji and then saved the photo.

He came back and sat next to her. His phone was out too, “Did you see Jessika Pava’s post?” He showed her his phone. It was a group selfie with her, Ben, Poe, Finn, Rose and Leia.

 _Exciting day @HoldoSpeaks and @That_British_Girl’s prelaunch!_ She’d captioned it, tagged everyone in the photo and ended it with: _@BenSolo you still haven’t answered my question. #AreYouDating? #Reylo? #YesToReylo_

“She even commented on the photo I posted.” He sighed and then grinned, “So shall we?” She knew what he was asking.

Her phone buzzed before she could answer and she looked at the most recent comment. Of course it was Jessika Pava.

_@That_British_Girl So, is this a yes, you are dating? #IsItAYes #Reylo #AreYouDating @BenSolo_

It was already getting quite a bit of retweets too.

“You do it?” His lip twitched up and she flushed.

“Embarrassed?”

“Maybe a little,”

He chuckled, “Shy girl.” He wrapped his arm around her and showed her his reply.

Her cheeks turned even redder.

Ben Solo replied very, very simply, in a very Ben Solo way.

_yes._ That’s it, no hashtags, no emojis, the first letter wasn’t even capitalised.

Almost immediately her phone rang.

“Rey!” Poe shouted from the other end, “Are you online right now? Are you seeing this? Is Solo next to you?”

“Yes, yes, and yes?”

“So is it a ‘yes’?” Finn asked from somewhere in the background.

“Wait, so you _are_ dating?”

“Yes.”

“What the fuck? Since when?”

She knew Ben could hear it with the way he smiled, “I’ll check on your bath,” He said loud enough for Poe to hear.

“ _Rey!_ This is _huge!”_

“What is?” Finn demanded, “Are you talking about his dick because I’m actually really curious about that,”

“ _I’m_ not,” Poe snorted, “He’s almost like a weird cousin to me you know,”

“I can see that,” Rey said with a laugh.

“But seriously, since when? And why didn’t you tell us?”

“Um,” She cleared her throat, “Since, um, Disneyland?”

Silence.

Then, “ _What?_ ” She wasn’t sure it was from Finn or Poe, maybe both.

“ _Rey!_ ” It was Finn this time, “Why didn’t you tell us?” Did Poe put her on loudspeaker? “Holy shit! Pinch me, babe, maybe I’m dreaming. _Ow!”_

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Poe asked, “And how can I not notice, Jesus, I’m your _manager_.”

“Well, you two just got engaged, you know? And we never really found the right moment,” She laughed nervously.

“And _now_ is a good moment?”

“Surprise?”

Finn snorted and then laughed, “Jesus, Rey, this is so like you. I can’t believe I didn’t notice either, have you become a good liar now?”

Ben came back ad arched a brow, “Bath’s ready,” He said and lifted her up so suddenly she shrieked.

“Ben! What are you doing?” She laughed breathlessly.

“Taking you to your bath,” He said mischievously and grinned.

“Alright, alright, Solo,” Poe said. She could almost see his grin, “We get it, we’ll hang up now.”

“Deets!” Finn shouted out before Poe hung up.

He took her phone from her and placed it on her study table. It was ridiculous how easily he can lift her even with just one arm, “You can put me down now,” She said with a laugh.

“Nah,” He raised her up higher, with both arms this time, and planted a solid kiss on her lips. She sighed and opened her mouth for him. He stopped walking and held her tighter as his tongue swept confidently into her mouth.

She missed him, she missed holding him and being held by him. She missed the way he smelled and sounded, and she missed how he tasted so dark and sinful that every time he plants his mouth on hers she couldn’t help but sigh and melt and moan.

He took over all of her senses and made her greedy for _more_.

He pulled away with a shuddering breath, “You need to rest,” He said with a breathless laugh, “And soak. I’m not a barbarian,”

“Are you going to conk me in the head?” He started walking again and only let her down when they were in the bathroom.

“That’s a caveman,” He arched a brow, “Aren’t you getting in?”

She flushed, “You’re not going out?”

His brow rose even higher, “I’ve seen you naked,” Then he chuckled, “Alright, call me if you need me.” He pressed a kiss on her forehead, turned around sharply and stomped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.


	105. When You Feel My Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: #MoreSmut #IsThisTooMuchSmut? #NahSmutIsGood
> 
> Yes, more smut. 🔥 🔥 🔥 (Lyric Title: Demons by Imagine Dragons)
> 
> -X

Ben stayed just outside the bathroom door.

He adjusted his pants awkwardly and ran his fingers through his hair.

He’s not a barbarian, he said. What a lie.

His phone kept buzzing in his pocket and when he pulled it out he saw that it was flooded with notifications and texts all asking if it was true.

He didn’t answer. It didn’t matter what everyone else thought.

There was a surprising amount of well-wishers online though, and a good number of people cursing him, mostly her male fans saying that he ruined their image of her and that they won’t be following her anymore. He frowned; that can’t be good, right? But she didn’t need toxic fans anyway, he’s seen his fair share of them and they were nothing but trouble.

He heard a splash and wondered if it’d be weird if he asks if he could go in. He wouldn’t join her in the tub of course, even if he wanted to. It wouldn’t fit both of them anyway; they’d tried.

“You can come in now,” She said so softly he thought he imagined it. He slid inside the bathroom to find her leaning against the lip of the tub. She was blushing.

He smiled and sat on the cold floor next to the tub, facing her, “I missed you,” He said simply and took her hand to thread their fingers together.

“I missed you too,” She said softly, “A lot more than I thought,”

“Well, we already told everyone so it’d be a lot easier to see each other, right? And I can finally take you out on a date,”

She giggled, “And what kind of dates does Ben Solo go to?”

“Hm, I don’t know I was thinking a Michelin restaurant,” She arched a brow and he chuckled, “Just kidding. I was thinking we can go check out a farmer’s market and maybe go to the beach or something after,” He brushed his lips against the back of her hand and watched the flush that had nothing to do with the heat of the water rise to her cheeks, “What do you think?”

“That sounds lovely,” She sighed and bit her lip when he nibbled on her knuckle. She cleared her throat, “I think I’m going to have to do another livestream to ah,” She looked down but didn’t pull her hand away. He kept nibbling.

“To?” He prompted against her skin and she shivered.

“T-to, um, clarify,”

“I’m not sure what’s there to clarify but sure,” He chuckled and she shivered again.

They stayed in the bathroom for a while, talking about nothing and everything. It was nice, Ben thought, being close to someone like that. He didn’t have to worry about censoring himself to protect his image or anything. He sighed and washed his hair.

Rey had insisted that he shower too after she realised that it was getting late. Should he go back to her room after his shower? He wasn’t actually sure; did couples automatically sleep in the same bed if they stay in the same home? This small apartment feels more of a home for him than his own. He sighed and rinsed his hair before stepping out to dry off.

In the week that they weren’t together his nightmares had come back.

A grown man, having nightmares. He sneered, what a joke.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed again.

And ran straight into Rey.

She yelped and stumbled back. He caught her around the waist and she looked up to meet his eyes. She flushed.

“I, I was going to ask you if you wanted hot chocolate when you’re done,” She stammered and looked at anywhere but his naked chest.

His lip twitched up, “That depends, does it come with you?” He had a sudden image of licking chocolate up from her body like he did with the honey back at his condo.

Who would’ve thought he’d like food play.

She turned bright red and he chuckled, leaning down to brush his lips against hers, once, then twice, before flicking his tongue on her lower lip. She shuddered, sighed and threw her arms around his neck.

She tasted like chocolate and spices.

The towel he’d wrapped around his waist slipped off as he snaked his arms around her waist.

He pulled her up roughly against him and she whimpered.

He had no intention of fucking her today since she was so tired but one taste of her lips, still so sweet, was enough to scramble his good intentions. He never knew what flavour he’d get every time he kissed her and it left him wanting more, _greedy_ for more. Some days he couldn’t even focus on anything but thoughts of her.

He wasn’t sure when they’d ended up on the bed.

She was panting and dazed when he pulled away and he licked the side of his lip. Sitting up and watching her pant with her hair spread out on his sheets, he’d never tire of the sight.

He grinned and leaned down again to capture her lips. She moaned and he settled more comfortably between her legs.

“Baby,” He whispered in her ear and she shivered, “Are you going to let Daddy fuck you?” She made a strangled sound and he nipped her ear, “Use your words, princess,”

“Yes,” She whimpered, “Yes, please, Daddy.” His mouth trailed down her neck, nipping and sucking, licking until she writhed against him. His cock ached. He wanted to hear her beg, “ _Please_ ,”

He wanted to ruin her for everyone else.

He wanted to keep her to himself.

He crushed his mouth against hers again in a desperate open-mouthed kiss. Her fingers ran through his hair and tugged and he groaned. She understood him in the most fundamental ways. How could he not love her?

He never stood a chance.

She tugged again, harder this time and his hips jerked forward. He pulled away with gasp and tore at her clothes. She helped him throw them off and moaned throatily when the blunt head of his cock pressed inside her.

He hissed. It’d only been a week and yet every time it felt like the first time. Her nails scratched down his back and his hips snapped forward harshly. He set a punishing pace, like he was trying to get away from something, and in a way he was.

Ben had always been rough no matter how much he tried not to be.

“I can take it,” She breathed against his mouth before kissing him, “Give me everything,” She scratched at his back again and he let out shuddering sigh, almost a whimper and pounded into her as he buried his face in her throat.

 _Sweet_ , so sweet. He sucked at that spot right below jaw and she clenched tight around him and keened as she came.

“That’s right,” He panted, “Let me hear you, let me see you,” He lurched up and she gasped when the angle changed. He pushed her thighs wider apart and snapped his hips sharply and stilled, relishing the way she clenched and unclenched around him. She looked up at him blearily, cheeks flushed, looking almost delirious with pleasure. He flexed his stomach muscles, his cock jerked inside of her and her leg twitched. He gave her a slow smile, “Beautiful,”


	106. Look Into My Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend!
> 
> Warning: #AndEvenMoreSmut #YayForSmut? #TooMuch? #ICantWriteAnythingWithoutSmut 
> 
> -X

_He_ was beautiful.

All sharp angles, swollen lips and mournful eyes.

He moved slower now, more leisurely, prolonging her climax and making her shiver with need. He was always so considerate, never once cumming before her. For a brief second she saw the look in his eyes when he came out of the bathroom, like he was angry at something, but it was gone now, the slick, cold darkness in his eyes. Instead it was replaced with a blazing heat that rivalled the desert sun. And they never left hers.

“Cum for me again, baby,” He whispered softly and brought her wrists up next to her head. His fingers tightened and she shivered.

Why did she find comfort in the feeling of his body caging her like this? He slammed his hips down and she gasped when he started his harsh staccato all over again. The knot in her belly tightened again and she bit her lip. Then his mouth was there, licking past her swollen lower lip, dominating and intoxicating her.

Everything about him was like a drug. Her hips rolled on its own accord and he groaned deep in his chest. He pulled away and his eyes turned to slits. His cheeks, already pink, deepened into a dark red. She watched the deep flush creep up his pale neck and felt the subtle shuddering of his big body. He was almost at his limit too.

He let one of her wrists go to squeeze the base of his cock.

She licked his shoulder and his hips stuttered and when he pushed into her, she bit hard. His gasp ended in a moan and she felt his cock twitch as he spilled a little inside her. She wrapped her legs around him and flipped them over somehow. His eyes, already unfocused and dazed, widened in surprise. His hands went to her hips.

She rolled her hips and slid back and forth over him and he groaned and screwed his eyes shut. His hips rolled to meet her halfway and thrust into her. He was shaking harder now and his fingers dug in hips.

She wanted him to let go, to give her everything he has. She tightened around him and he let out a desperate, shuddering gasp. She wanted all of him.

She leaned down to give him a kiss and he latched on like he was drowning. He moved, one arm going behind him so he can lean up to almost sitting position. She whimpered.

Her hips up and down, almost as desperately as him and when she came down as he thrust up, he nipped her ear, “Cum for me,” He hissed. She gasped, tightened around him and screamed as she came.

Then he turned them around and slammed into her twice burying his face in her throat and groaning as he shuddered and came.

His hips thrust weakly and shuddered some more while she milked him.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him until he stopped panting and shivering and his softening cock slipped out of her.

“Am I crushing you?” He murmured against her throat.

“No,” She said and finally untangled her legs from his waist, “I like your weight on me, it’s comforting,” He chuckled softly, “You’re better than any weighted blanket. They moved a little, so she was propped up more comfortably against the pillows.

“I better be,” He mumbled and practically purred when she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Ben?”

“Hm?” He propped up his cheek on her chest and looked at her with those eyes, still dark and slightly unfocused. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat.

“I love you.” She said.

His mouth opened a little and he blinked. She bit her lip and silently cursed the flush rushing to her cheeks. Then he smiled slowly, all dimples and twinkling eyes and said, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, ahem, just a bit more SW reference
> 
> -X


	107. They Say It's What You Make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add last time; they seem to be getting a teeny bit kinkier 🤔 And I do think we can see some of the darkness inside of him leaking out a little (thus the song). Also please keep in mind Ben's YT account name. 😉 
> 
> -X

“Hey everyone, it’s That British Girl, your Rey of Sunshine! I know this livestream is very sudden but I thought it’d be best so I could answer any and all your questions and I haven’t done a livestream in so long too!” She laughed a little, “Oh, wow, going straight to the point are we? Am I dating Ben Solo?” She chewed on her lower lip before answering, “Well, short answer, yes. Ben and I are dating and it’s um, it’s still very new,” She flushed and cleared her throat.

So far the feedback on the chat box was good, with a lot of ‘aww’s’ and questions about how they met and how they got together. Some were commenting that it must have been during her signing and they got together during her last livestream when he’d hijacked it.

“Well, we actually met thanks to all of you guys,” She glanced towards the kitchen and tried not to smile at the sight and Ben making her mum’s hot chocolate, “When I told you guys that I had this _massive_ crush on him I didn’t think you’d make it viral,” She laughed again and she saw Ben look at her from the corner of her eye.

_How massive?_

She snorted back a laugh and ended up giggling instead, “Well, _Mr. I-Heard-Kylo-Ren-Has-An-Eight-Pack_ , it was a _colossal_ crush I’ve been harbouring since he first started acting.”

_Is it big as his chest?_

“Valid question, I’m not sure, I’m going to have to measure that sometime once I find a large enough measuring tape.” Ben snorted back a laugh.

She answered questions people were putting out in the chat box, “Hm, what’s he like? Do you mean as an actor or as a boyfriend? Both?” She laughed, “Alright, I guess that’s fair. Um, as an actor I always said he was wonderful, very talented and intense. He takes pride in his work even though he doesn’t really voice it out and as for being a boyfriend…” She flushed a little and cleared her throat, “He’s very kind.”

Ben had stopped next to the coffee table, just out of sight of the camera. He held two mugs, her cat mug and the Kylo helmet mug Phasma had sent before. He’d taken to using it whenever he was home. His lip twitched up and she cleared her throat again.

“He’s um, surprisingly sweet,” She heard him snort a little and handed her her mug. She accepted it, “Oh, thank you.” Then she flushed again when the chat box was flooded with question, “Wait,” She laughed, “Wait, slow down. Yes, yes, that was Ben.” She held the mug with both hands and ducked a little, “Yes, it’s not the first time he stayed over and um, no we actually weren’t dating at the time when the photo came out,”

She chewed her lip a little, “We um, we were just having take-out and watching a movie and kinda fell asleep. We weren’t, I mean, of course not! He was a perfect gentleman unlike some people. That’s very rude, you know, you shouldn’t talk about those very lightly. A man and a woman can stay in the same place and not sleep together.”

Ben, who’d scuttled back to sit by the counter, frowned.

Poe, who had been watching using the official Resistance Youtube account, commented and flagged the account.

Rey moved on to other questions. “Are we living together?” She flushed again, “Um, no, not really.” She cleared her throat, “We just like to spend time together. What couple wouldn’t, right?” She heard Ben sigh and approach the coffee table again. She looked up questioningly. She muted her mic.

“May I join in?” He asked softly, looking a little pouty and flustered.

She grinned and giggled, “Of course,” Then she turned the mic back on, “Sorry, about that. Somebody wants to make an appearance,” The chat box exploded again and the number of viewers kept ticking up, “I guess that’s a yes,” She unplugged her headphones and motioned for him to sit next to her.

He did and gave the camera a practiced smile, “Hello, I hope you don’t mind. My name’s Ben and this time I _won’t_ be hijacking the livestream.” She laughed, “Just thought I’d help answer some questions.”

There were questions about his interview, whether Leia was really his mother, “Of course she is,” He laughed, “Who else would I get my acting skills from? What do I think of Rey? Hm, that’s a tough one,” She looked at him sharply and pouted. He tucked her hair back behind her ear and she flushed and looked down, “Well, as you can see our princess is very sweet and very shy. The first time I saw her, I thought she was cute.” He arched a brow at the next question, “Do I love her? Of course I do.” She squeaked and turned an even brighter shade of red, “Why would I date her if I didn’t? I’m a bit old fashioned, I don’t like dating for the sake of dating.”

_But Rey said she wasn’t your type before because of all the models you used to date._

“She did say that. I saw that video,” He frowned, “I did say I wouldn’t date for the sake of dating and I did date them, didn’t I? Don’t get me wrong they’re very lovely women but both of us knew it was more of a mutual benefit thing. I get a date for a premiere, they get more media attention. Was it fake? Of course not, they’re all very good friends and we part amicably.”

_What’s it like dating an idol?_

“An idol?” He arched a brow, “I’m not really sure what you mean. I’m not really big on internet slang,” He scratched the back of his neck, “Honestly, my mom has to tell me what it means sometimes.” Rey giggled. Somebody explained the concept of an idol, “Oh, is that right? I don’t know about that but Rey’s very honest and sweet, a balm to my wounded soul, if you will.” She blinked at him and he laced their hands together under the coffee table, “She saved me,”

“Ben—,”

His phone started buzzing, “Whoops, that’s my manager calling,” He said and gave a small, self-deprecating grin to the camera, “Gotta go, it was nice talking to you,” Then he pressed a quick kiss to Rey’s cheek and winked before she even had time to react.

She blinked and heat rushed to her cheeks but he was already walking away to answer his phone.

She cleared her throat and plugged in her headphones again. She giggled at the comments, “ _Please_ don’t turn that into a gif,”


	108. I Say It's Up To Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing the next bit oh noes 😢 I had a meeting today so I couldn't write and research as much as I wanted to 😢 So here's a cute bit :) (Was supposed to post this too last night but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish on time)
> 
> -X

“ _Why_ did you out yourself for being there?” Hux sighed heavily, “The paps know where she lives and now they know you’re there.”

“I have no plans of leaving today anyway,” Ben said, “What’s my schedule on Wednesday?”

“What am I, your secretary?”

“No, but you know what it is anyway,”

Hux sighed again, “Well if you must know you have a briefer meeting with the photographer from Rolling Stones and,”

“Reschedule it,” He said, “I want to take Rey out for a date,”

Hux barked out a laugh, “Jesus Christ Solo, moving fast aren’t we? Not that I disapprove but do you know _her_ schedule on that day?”

“I’ll call Dameron,”

“You don’t even like Dameron,”

“So?” He shrugged and only half listened to Hux.

“Is he really Daddy?” He glanced back at her and arched a brow. She was looking at him with pursed lips, “Well, that depends on how you describe a Daddy but I’m pretty sure I said he is,” She turned back to the camera and giggled, “He takes very good care of me, thank you.”

“Solo, are you even listening?” Hux sighed defeatedly.

“Nope,”

“Figured.” He sighed again, “You have to be careful. Rey’s a very delicate girl people might harass her.”

“I know, but you’re wrong,”

“Hm?”

“She’s not delicate. She’s the strongest person I know.” He leaned against the counter again and sipped at his chocolate.

“You know, we’ve known each other for years but I never thought you’d be the type to fall in love so quickly and so deeply but it makes a lot of sense on hindsight.”

“I don’t know what you mean,”

He snorted, “Please, I know how women always flocked to you, you’ve always been a star but you never let anyone in. People _liked_ you but you always just hung out with me and Phas.”

“Armitage you know you’re my best friend,”

Hux snorted, “Of course I do. Why else would I do all these shit for you?”

Rey chattered on, glancing at him every once in a while and smiling.

“I don’t know what it is about her either,” He said softly even though he knew she couldn’t hear him through her headphones, “But it’s like I’ve known her for years. I want to marry her, Hux.”

There was a long pause before Hux started talking again, “Are you sure? It’s only been a few weeks since you two go together.”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

Hux laughed again, “Well, I’m all for that as your friend and as your manager, well, Phas and I can spin this into a kind of fairytale if you’re proposing anytime soon.”

“No, no I’m not. She’s not ready for that and I don’t want to let it slip to the media so soon.”

“I understand.” He cleared his throat, “Does Leia know?”

“Yes. Why do you think I already have the ring ready?”

Hux sounded like he choked, “Your _grandmother’s_ ring?”

“Yes.”

Hux laughed a little, sounding almost surprised, “I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

For once he can honestly say that he was happy for himself too.


	109. Whenever I'm Alone With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from Lovesong by The Cure.
> 
> A little early today bc I'm having a really bad headache because of allergies 🤧 Also I've never been to Santa Monica Farmers' Market specifically so I'm basing it mostly on pictures and what I've seen in other Farmer Markets. 
> 
> -X

It always felt strange not having Ben around. It was like all the warmth and life gets sucked out of her apartment. Funny, it didn’t used to feel like that.

Poe had called her last night to tell her that she had the day off and that he’d canceled her scheduled gym session that day.

Right after that, Ben had called to tell her that he’ll pick her up at eight so they could go to the farmer’s market. He didn’t answer when she’d asked if he was the one who got Poe to give her a day off.

She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if she dressed appropriately. He said anything was fine but still, it was technically their first date.

She flushed; they were going about things in the wrong order. It had been getting warmer recently so she wore a pair of jean cut offs for the first time in months and paired it with a band tee and a flannel checkered button-down she’d left open.

Was it okay?

The bell rang. They should remember to get a set of keys for him too and she flushed again. She wore her boots quickly and tried to fix her hair a little before opening the door.

She bit her lip and looked down when he stared.

“You look cute,” He said and nudged her chin up a little so she’d meet his eyes, “Why are you being so shy all of a sudden?”

“Nothing,” She squeaked. Her heart was pounding.

“No kiss for Daddy?” He teased and her cheeks flamed even more. He leaned down to give her a deep kiss. She sighed and he smirked when he pulled away, “I missed you,” He said and tucked her hair back behind her ear.

She pouted a little, “I missed you too,” Then, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. He froze for a brief second before wrapping his arms around her. She sighed and breathed in his now-familiar scent.

He’d chosen to wear a t-shirt and jeans and she rubbed her face a little at the worn fabric.

“Wanna tell me why you’re so shy all of a sudden, sweet thing?” He murmured in her ear. She pulled away a little, blushing.

“This is our first date,” She said, “I’m a little nervous.” She bit her lip and cleared her throat, “Do I look okay?”

He blinked down at her and brought her back at arms-length. He arched a brow, “Are you really asking me that?” He grinned, his dimples flashing, “You always look beautiful to me. And what’s wrong with what you’re wearing? I think it looks nice, although…” He trailed off and frowned.

“Although…?” Should she change after all?

He grinned, “Although I’m probably going to get jealous of all the guys who’d be staring at your legs.”

She blinked and snorted back a laugh, “What?”

“What?” He smiled innocently, “You have pretty legs,”

“Are you going to say something ridiculous and cringe-worthy like ‘they’ll look better wrapped around my hips’ or something?” She arched a brow and he winked. She laughed.

“There’s my baby girl,” He brushed her cheek, “But nah, you look beautiful either way. Shall we?”

She grinned, all traces of her nerves gone just like that. He always had a way about him that made her feel so safe.

The Wednesday Santa Monica Farmers’ Market wasn’t as crowded as the Saturday market. She really loved markets and fairs, all the fruits and homemade goods were allso fascinating to her. They walked around hand-in-hand browsing the stalls and eating snacks as they went around.

Not many people bothered them and it felt like they were any other normal couple out and about on a date.

Ben only let go of her hand when he’d bought them both some spiced cold brew.

“Tell me if there’s something you want,” He said and rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m not really good at dating,” His cheeks was flushed.

She giggled, “What are you talking about, you’re great,”

He shrugged, “It wasn’t a priority.”

“Is it a priority now?” She arched a brow and he leaned down to look into her eyes. She flushed but didn’t look away.

“No but _you_ are,” She made a soft squeaking sound and finally looked away. He chuckled and brushed his lips against the side of her head, “Let’s go,” He took her hand again and started walking.

She noticed that he slowed his steps so she wouldn’t have a hard time catching up and she smiled at how thoughtful he was.

They stopped in front of a colourful stall selling crystals and other handmade accessories, “Anything interesting?” He asked her and she chewed her bottom lip. She eyed a broken piece of stone that seemed to have shadows threaded with bright blue electricity trapped inside of it.

“That’s a black fire opal,” The seller said, “Opals are known for being protection charms and the Romans considered them to be a symbol of hope,”

“It’s beautiful,” Rey said, touching the cool stone gently. The shadows seemed to swirl.

“It’s not perfect,” The lady said, laughing a little, “I tried to make it into a pendant but I broke it,” She took out the other half of it, a little smaller, with more blue than black, “I can give you a good price for both of them if you like,”

“We’ll take them,” Ben said before she could answer. She looked up, a little surprised. He arched a brow.

The seller squinted at him a little before her eyes widened, “Oh! You’re…” He smiled sardonically. She cleared her throat, “Anyway, would you like me to tie them into a pendant so they’re easier to wear and carry around?”

Rey looked at Ben who already had his wallet out, “Bracelet would be better. Easier to wear all the time, right?” He said and gave her a half-smile that made his dimples pop. She flushed; he knew exactly what he’s doing to her, “We can match,”

He paid for the set and the seller told them to come back in about half an hour so she could fix it for them.

“Don’t push,” An all-too-familiar voice hissed.

Rey looked back and frowned, “Did you hear that?” She asked and he scowled.

“Unfortunately.” He sneered and grabbed her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black fire opals are gorgeous but this is the one I was looking at specifically: 
> 
> It kind of reminded me of that fight scene Rey had with Palpatine in that movie that must not be remembered. (#BenSoloDeservedBetter) and I also wanted to have something that would symbolically be a 'dyad' if you know what I mean hehe.
> 
> -X


	110. You Make Me Feel Like I Am Young Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 because why not hehe. 
> 
> -X

_Why_.

Ben scowled and glared down at Hux and Poe.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Poe said, laughing nervously.

“Poe? And Hux?” Rey frowned in confusion, “What are you two doing here?”

“I didn’t know you two were close,” He said drily.

“Where are Rose and Finn?” She asked. He was still holding her hand and she’dturned a little and wrapped her other hand around his forearm without seeming to realise. Pride made him puff up his chest a little.

“Rose went home for the week to see Paige,” Hux sighed, “I’m just here to accompany this idiot,”

“Hey,” Poe frowned, “That’s mean Hugs, I asked _nicely_.”

“So, what are you two doing here?” Ben narrowed his eyes, “You’re not following us, are you?”

“Psh, of course not,” Poe snorted and laughed. He’d never seen a worse liar in his life. Even Rey didn’t look convinced, “We uh, we were just looking at the area.”

“Right.” Hux nodded sagely, “It’s a good area,”

Of course, it was Santa Monica.

“I was looking at a house,” Poe said quickly, “And Hugs was uh, helping me. It was um, a wedding gift for Finn.” He flushed, “We uh, really should go, there are more houses to see.” He linked his arm with Hux’s who jerked.

“What are you doing?”

Poe looked down and turned an even brighter shade of red before letting go quickly, “Sorry! Sorry, force of habit,” He laughed again, that same nervous laugh as earlier. He cleared his throat, “Did I ever tell you I knew for sure I was interested in men because of you?”

Hux had turned almost as red as his hair, “W-what?” He stammered, flustered.

Rey snorted back a laugh. Ben arched a brow.

Poe scratched his jaw and laughed, “Yeah, I had this crush on you when we were kids.”

“I thought you liked Solo?” Hux scowled and Poe paled.

“What? No, _no,_ he’s like a weird cousin-slash-older-brother why would I like him?”

Ben leaned closer to her ear, “If we run now you think they’ll catch up?” She giggled.

“Nope.”

“Let’s go,” They turned quickly and ran while the two were busy arguing about their childhood.

They ran past stalls and pushed past people carelessly, like they were children. He didn’t think he’d ever run like this before. They stopped in front of a fruit juice stall and she laughed. He laughed too, so hard his stomach started cramping.

Once they managed to stop laughing and catch their breath, they turned to the vendor who was eyeing them with a strange but amused expression.

“Sorry about that,” Rey said, starting to laugh again, “We met people we didn’t want to see,”

“Relatives?” The vendor said looking like he understood.

“Our managers.” Ben said drily and she burst out laughing again. He tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t. He started laughing too.

The vendor did a double take, “You’re that actor!” He finally said, “That one from that movie recently,”

Ben laughed awkwardly, “Um, yeah, that one.” He cleared his throat, “What do you want to drink?”

“I’d really love some sweet tea,” Rey said and he smiled and ordered two.

“My son would never believe this,” He laughed as he handed them their drinks, “Would you,” He flushed and his bushy moustache twitched, “Would you mind if I take a picture?”

Ben looked at Rey, “I can take your picture,” She said.

“Oh no, no, you too, miss.” He was already holding up his phone and Ben chuckled.

“We can take a selfie?” He said and extended his hand for the phone.

“I couldn’t,” He flushed again, a deeper shade of red and Ben insisted. They went around so they could stand next to the vendor and he pulled in Rey next to him, “Thank you!”

“No problem,” Ben said, “Good tea by the way,”

The man looked so proud as he explained how he’d brewed it. After they said their goodbyes, they went back to the trinket stall to pick up their bracelets.

Rey’s eyes sparkled as he fastened it around her wrist, “Thank you,” She said and his lip twitched up. He raised her hand and pressed a kiss on the back of it. She sucked in a breath and flushed.

Her hands shook a little when she wrapped the other one around his wrist, “I’ve never had something that matched someone else’s before,” She said. Her smile made his heart skip a beat and he couldn’t help but lean down to steal a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also why do I suddenly ship Poe and Hux? (but no I am strictly StormPilot 😢) and yes they definitely went there to stalk the two. 
> 
> -X


	111. You Make Me Feel Like I Am Whole Again

They knew they had to leave the market when more than one paparazzo popped out of nowhere pointing a camera at their faces.

Ben was disappointed he couldn’t hit them even once what with Rey being there. He wasn’t a _complete_ brute after all.

He’d taken her to a beachside seafood restaurant for lunch and they’d talked and laughed and walked around the beach hand-in-hand.

Overall it was a lovely first date, nothing too fancy, and she seemed happy.

“We haven’t taken a picture yet,” She said, frowning a little, “Though I’m pretty sure I’m going to see a lot of pictures online later.”

He chuckled, “You can always ask,” The sun was setting and the air grew chill. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “You think we can take a photo with the sunset?”

They tried, more than once, and she giggled when they fell back on the sand. He loved hearing her laugh. He leaned forward again to capture her lips and she pulled away, still giggling, “Ben, there are people,” She said.

“So?” He brushed his lips up her jawline and nipped her ear. She shivered, “They can watch for all I care.”

“Your image,”

He sighed, “Can’t a man be affectionate to his girlfriend?”

She flushed, “You’re not just any man,” He ran his fingers through his hair, “You still have to look badass,”

He snorted back a laugh, “Badass,”

“That’s what Phasma said, I have to make sure you’re not _too_ romantic and that you still look like you can beat the shit out of people,”

He snorted again, “I’m not sure if I can get used to your potty mouth,”

She blinked and giggled, “You’re such an old man,”

“Isn’t that why I’m Daddy?” He arched a brow and she giggled again. He’d do anything to keep her smiling and laughing like this. He never wanted to see that sad look she gets in her eyes that she tried so hard to keep hidden from everyone else. He wanted to keep her happy, just like this, so she’d forget that habit of hers of smiling to hide her loneliness.

“People are judging our age difference,” She said and leaned against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and they watched the sunset.

“Does it bother you?”

“Of course. They’re calling you weird names,” She frowned though she looked more like she was pouting, “Our age gap isn’t _that_ big.”

“True. My parents had a bigger age gap, but if you think about it you’d still have been in grade school when I was already in college,”

“But that doesn’t matter ten, twenty, thirty years from now.”

He grinned, “Already thinking about thirty years from now, huh?”

She jerked up and turned bright red, “I, I didn’t, I mean, I wasn’t _assuming_ or anything,”

He leaned his cheek on his knee and smirked, “Are you saying you don’t want to be with me thirty years down the line?” She turned an even brighter shade of red and he took her hand, “Stay with me,” He said softly and pressed her fingertips to his lips. He wanted to be with her for as long as he could, “Stay with me, okay?”


	112. I Will Always Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contemplated writing smut. Wondered if it's too much smut after all. Decided against it. Proceeds to write smut again anyway. (Not for this chapter though)

Why did he always look at her like that?

Does he realise how much her heart ached when he gave her the look that spoke of years of loneliness? Does he even realise that he’s making that face again, that he was looking at her like he was just waiting for her to disappear on him.

“I will,” She said softly, fingers brushing his lip, “For as long as you want me,”

She felt his lip twitch up into a small smile, “That’s a given,” He said, “I’ll always want you.” Her cheeks heated, “But more than that,” His expression turned serious again, “I need you, Rey.”

Her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath, “Ben,” Nobody ever told her they needed her before and tears welled up in her eyes. He let go of her hand and sat up, alarmed.

“Jesus, Rey, I didn’t say that to make you cry,” He wiped the sides of her eyes awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure what to do, exactly, and she giggled.

“That’s,” She giggled some more, “That was such a cheesy thing to say,” She said and took his hands and brought them to her lips, “Thank you.”

“Isn’t that…?”

Ben sighed, “I guess that’s our cue,” He said and then grinned, “Race you back to the car,” He winked before getting up and running.

She gaped, “Ben!” She scrambled up to chase after him, “Ben Solo you meanie!” She could hear his laughter trailing behind him.

It was a nice sound, one she wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of her life.

They went home to his penthouse. It looked a lot cheerier than when she’d last slept over. The plant she’d given him sat on his windowsill and he had fuzzy maroon throw hanging haphazardly on the couch.

There was even more food in the fridge.

“Are you going to cook for me?” She asked, smiling.

“Of course,” He grinned, “Gotta make sure I know how to take care of my baby, right?”

She flushed, “Is there anything I can do to help?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Just sit there and accompany me. Do you want coffee?”

“I’ll make it,” She said, moving towards the espresso machine, “I need to practice too, so I can make it as well as you do,”

His lip twitched up in an amused half-smile, “It’s always the best if it’s from you,” He tucked her hair back behind her ear and the stone caught the light, making the blue shine brightly.

“Ben?”

“Hm?”

She placed her hand over his on her cheek, “Thank you for today,”

He looked surprised. Could he see how much he meant to her? “Today’s not over yet, sweet thing.” He murmured and brushed his lips against hers. She sighed and pressed closer to him. His arms caged her in against the counter and she sighed again and flicked her tongue against his lips.

He sighed too and opened for her. It wasn’t often that he let her take the lead. She pulled him down by his shirt and wrapped her arms around his neck. He groaned deep in his throat and lifted her up to sit on the counter. He stepped between her thighs and pressed his hands against her back, simultaneously pulling her close and supporting her as she leaned back a little even as she pulled him close.

He pulled away with a shuddering breath, “Rey,” He hissed, “I’m supposed to be making you dinner,” He murmured and shuddered when she rolled her hips against his, “I’m _trying_ to be a gentleman,”

She giggled, “You are,” She said, “You’re a perfect gentleman,” She leaned forward again and he sighed a little before giving in, “Shouldn’t a gentleman bring me to bed?”

He groaned and laughed a little breathlessly, “You’re becoming a bit of brat, aren’t you, baby girl?” He murmured hotly and nipped her ear.

She shivered and bit her lip. She loved how quickly he loses control like that, how easily he falls into his preferred role, as someone who needed to be needed, and she did need him, as much as he needed her.

“I love you,” She whispered and he shuddered and lifted her off the counter with a curse.


	113. My Whole Existence Is Flawed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll are like me then you'd have heard of Closer by NIN (also known as I wanna fuck you like an animal back in the day). When I was still studying I listened to it (screw me) and it's a pretty kinky song so listen while there are no other people around 😉 mild 🔥 
> 
> -X

In the end he never got to cook for her.

He got way too distracted having his fill of her that by the time he realised it, it was already way too late to cook something.

So they stood in the middle of his kitchen at nine in the evening, eating sandwiches for dinner. It really was not what he planned.

Her cheeks were still flushed and she avoided looking at his bare chest.

“Stay the night,” He said. _Stay forever_.

“Are you bringing me to work tomorrow?” She asked with a smile, “I don’t even have clothes with me,”

“Wear mine. They look better on you anyway,” He eyed her up and down. She’d worn the shirt he’d been wearing earlier. She arched a brow and gave him a cheeky smile.

“Should I wear this?” She asked and lifted it a little to sniff, “It doesn’t smell like sweat or anything,”

His cock twitched. Why is it that every little thing she did resulted in him wanting to fuck her? Really, it’s not good for either of them when all they want to do when they’re alone is to stay in bed together. He was actually surprised when her appetite in food and in bed matched his; not that he was complaining.

She wasn’t as active on social media either and he worried what that’d do to her followers. Why wasn’t Dameron reminding her?

“Ben? Are you okay?” She asked, looking a little pouty.

“I’m fine,” He said, “Just thinking,”

“What are you thinking of?” Wide eyes, so innocent, so pretty, but he knew how quickly they turn dark and unfocused. She was just like him, _hungry_.

“That I want to fuck you again,” He said and she stood a little straighter. He watched the flush crawl up her throat on its way to her cheeks and decided that he didn’t leave enough marks on her.

“I thought you said you were a gentleman?” She bit her lower lip, already swollen from his kisses. It was enchanting.

“I am,” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, “As you said, I’m a _perfect_ gentleman,” He nipped the tip of her ear and pressed light kisses down her jaw. She shivered, “I’ll never leave my lady unsatisfied,” He bit down just enough to make her shudder and leave a small mark. His Rey it seemed, liked it when her Daddy was just a little bit rough with her.

“Ben,” She shuddered, her fingers grappling for something hold on to.

His fingers trailed up her thighs lightly, “Sore?” She shook her head and shivered as his fingers trailed higher.

She gasped when his finger pressed inside her slowly and her nails dug into his arm. He grinned and shoved the whole digit in roughly, making her yelp, then whimper and dig her nails in some more.

Her heat wrapped around his finger like it always did, tight and wet, growing even more so the more he licked and sucked and nipped at her throat. He pressed another finger in and fucked her with his fingers and caught her moans with his mouth. He pushed her—his shirt, off of her with one hand and dumped it on the counter instead of the floor.

“You said you’d wear it tomorrow,” He said with a small grin as he lowered his face to her breasts. She jumped and tightened when he laved a hardened nipple and cried out when he sucked.

“W-wait,” She panted and pushed a little, “Ben, wait,” He lifted his head and met her eyes. They were dark and hungry, not at all innocent; she was looking at him like she wanted to devour him and he was sure he looked the same.

He thrust and curled his fingers inside her almost lazily and she shuddered, “What is it?” He asked and she tightened around his fingers again. He smiled slowly and thrust again, “Well?”

“I,” She looked away and let out a shuddering breath. She pushed him back and shuddered again when he pulled his fingers back, “I,” Her eyes darkened impossibly when he started licking her juices from his fingers. He arched a brow and she looked away and pushed him again until _he_ was the one leaning on the counter, “Don’t move,” She said, “I want to try something,”

“You can try anything you want with me,” He rumbled and sucked in a breath when she licked his nipple. He slapped a hand over it and felt heat rise to his cheeks, “That tickles,”

“You said I can try anything,” She pouted and he shuddered. He dropped his hand again and gripped the edge of his counter. She smiled, innocent if not for the mischievous glint in her dark eyes. She leaned forward again and nipped.

He hissed and his cock jerked. Jesus. Is this what she felt every time he teased her? It was like every time she sucked it went shooting straight down to tug at his cock.

“Rey,” He hissed and shuddered when she started kissing down his chest. She wouldn’t, would she?


	114. You Get Me Closer To God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally finished this part about half an hour ago (wooo cutting it a bit close). Alternative title: Protein Is Important
> 
> WARNING: #MoreSmut #ProteinIsImportant #HehHelloThereDarkside_Nuggets #GettingHotInHere #TheyAreDirty #GettingABitTooKinky #ShouldUpdateTags #KinkyAF #IWarnedYou #DirtierThanNormal 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 
> 
> SKIP PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT INTO KINK (I warned you).
> 
> -X

Rey wasn’t inexperienced, not in the least. She’d had boyfriends before but it never really went longer than four months and sex and romance wasn’t really her priority either and it always bothered the men she dated that her roommate was a man and it always became bothersome. So she’d stopped dating and when she saw Ben onscreen, how could she even think of dating anyone?

She dropped to her knees and Ben sucked in a breath. She pressed a kiss below his navel and nipped when he shuddered. He stared at her with those dark, heavy-lidded eyes, waiting for what she’d do.

Thing is, she’d never had this _craving_ to do this before. She bit her lip and pulled his joggers down just enough for his cock to pop out. It always surprised her that she could actually fit him.

“Rey,” He breathed. His cock bobbed and smeared pre-cum all over his stomach. She look up to meet his eyes and he swallowed hard.

She licked tentatively and he let out a shuddering breath. His thighs shook and he leaned heavier against the counter. She licked again, just at the tip and his hips jerked. She looked up; he’d screwed his eyes shut and was breathing through his mouth. It was fascinating.

She sucked in the head of cock and he groaned and tightened his grip on the counter. She sucked him in, slowly until he reached the back of her throat before pulling back again, just as slowly. Maybe he should be sitting down for this; his thighs shook harder.

He sighed her name again and groaned when she started sucking harder, taking him deeper and deeper with each suck. She looked up again, past his tightened stomach and heaving chest. He was biting his lip, his eyes narrowed and unfocused. She sucked in her cheeks as she sucked until her nose brushed the wiry, curly hair at the base of his cock. His moan sounded almost like a whimper.

And in that moment she felt so powerful.

She cupped his balls with one hand and used the other to wrap around the base of his cock. She jerked him with her hand in time with her mouth and felt how his balls drew up. He gasped that he was close and tapped at her cheek. She looked up at his flushed face; he looked almost delirious, frantic even.

“Where,” He groaned and clenched his jaw. It was sweet how he always asked her where he should cum. She sucked harder and she watched his eyes roll back in his skull, “ _Rey._ ” His fingers gripped her hair and she reached down to press on her clit. She shuddered a little.

He came with groan. She was a little surprised when he tightened his fingers on her hair and jerked his hips, making her choke a little before swallowing. He gasped when her throat worked on him and she swallowed down the salty bitterness he spilled.

Then she sucked again. He shuddered and gasped and scrabbled to pull her away, “I can’t,” He gasped, “Rey, I, _please,”_ He groaned when she released his cock with a soft ‘pop’.

He was still hard.

“Jesus,” He breathed and laughed lightly. His hand was shaking when he brushed his hair back away from his face.

She smiled and stood as gracefully as she could and pressed a kiss in the middle of his chest. His soft growl rumbled deep from his chest and she spun her around so quickly she almost fell over.

He bent her of the counter, the cold marble counter made her nipples tighten. He pushed inside her without preamble. She gasped at the sudden stretch and whimpered when he snapped his hips against her ass. He already came, why was he still so impossibly hard? He mouthed at her shoulder and thrust inside her, desperately chasing another orgasm she knew would be a long time coming. She tightened around him.

“Where did you learn that?” He hissed darkly and wrapped a hand around her throat, “Did you have any idea how many times I’ve thought of having your mouth on me?” She shuddered and his fingers tightened around her throat, “ _Fuck_ , you like that, huh?”

“Yes,” She gasped and arched her back. He slammed into her, his balls slapping against her clit with a wet squelch, “Yes, Daddy,”

“I didn’t realise what a dirty girl my princess is,” He sucked on her earlobe and bit just hard enough for it to be painful but not enough to cause any real damage. She squirmed and he hissed.

He thrust again and she moaned. In this position he felt even bigger. He pushed her higher until she stood on her toes. He didn’t spread her legs like he normally would.

“Do you know,” He panted in her ear, “How tight you get like this,” Her pussy clenched and he shuddered, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m too rough on you,” She gasped when he snapped his hips sharply and she felt his balls press tight against her clit, “But you take it anyway,” His fingers tightened around her throat again and she bore down on him, “You take everything I give you,” He thrust hard and she keened, “Like such a good girl,” His fingers tightened some more and he thrust into her between each word.

Shadows crept up from the sides of her eyes and she stared at the espresso machine with unfocused eyes. Still, she scrambled for something to hold on to and settled on the arm still wrapped around her shoulders. She dug her nails in and gasped, pussy clenching and unclenching around his cock as her climax neared and surged around her.

He slammed into her once, hard, and released her throat.

And she screamed.

Everything turned white and she heard a high-pitched sound as she writhed and pushed her ass back against him as she came. Vaguely she heard him cry out and felt him shudder and thrust weakly.

He was still cumming when she finally came down from the unbearably pleasurable high he’d brought her to. She tightened around him almost experimentally and he whimpered. She bit her lip and tried not to giggle.

He linked their hands together and pressed his forehead to her shoulder, pressing lazy kisses down her shoulder blade and catching his breath.

“Did I hurt you?” He rumbled and pulled away from her slowly. He set her down and she flinched at the ache in her calves, “Rey?”

“I’m fine,” She said, “I think my calves are just a bit—,” She didn’t get to finish because he’d swept her off her feet. Literally.

She shrieked and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Ben!”

“Careful, sweet thing, the sound proofing here’s good but not _that_ good. The neighbours might think I’m murdering you or something.”

She snorted and then giggled, “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me anyway,” He winked and she giggled again as he brought her to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I was browsing Reddit last night and chanced upon a post on the r/reylo page and saw that this fic is in the list of someone's favourites 😳 I am flattered and touched. (Also I solemnly swear that I did not look up the fic title. I literally just read the post and was shookt when I saw. Actually thought it was a different fic I clicked on it hehe.) Thank you.
> 
> -X


	115. And I Don't Want The World To See Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iris by Goo Goo Dolls (I love this song). 
> 
> -X

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ben asked for the umpteenth time, “Your legs were sore yesterday,” He glanced at her while she sat in his passenger seat.

“And whose fault is that?” She laughed, “You made me run a lot yesterday,”

He glanced at her again and arched a brow, “Is that the only reason why your legs were hurting?”

She laughed again. As promised she’d worn the shirt he was wearing yesterday. She’d tied it up too so it didn’t hang too loosely around her significantly smaller frame, and since she didn’t have clothes in his house yet, she had to make do with her cutoffs and one of his old jackets. She breathed a sigh of relief that she didn’t forget to bring a makeup bag with her on her date.

If anyone were to notice the marks, or even just the shirt she’s wearing, it’d probably cause another scandal.

Ben drove them to the parking lot behind Resistance. He’d insisted on bringing her to work. Would this be a norm? Rey wouldn’t mind if it meant going home together too.

“You don’t have to walk me inside,” She said and he arched a brow.

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

She flushed, “Of course not,” She eyed his clothes and frowned. He wouldn’t fit in if he was wearing a suit and tie, not when Resistance was generally more casual. Come to think of it Hux also wore very formal clothes. Was that a rule in First Order?

The guard standing at the entrance did a double take when he saw Ben walking in hand-in-hand with Rey.

“Mo-morning, Ms. Rey,”

“Good morning Snap,” She grinned, “Leia and Poe in already?”

“Yup,” He glanced at Ben again, “Mr. Dameron said he’ll wait for you in R2,”

“Thanks,” She grinned and looked back at Ben, “So…”

“I’ll walk you,” He said and walked in with her. Of course everyone would be startled. It was the first time since Leia publicly announced their relationship that he’d come visit. He looked around curiously but strangely enough he knew exactly where to go.

The elevator chugged up slowly, “I see nothing’s changed,” He said, “I haven’t been here since I was kid but everything’s still the same.”The elevator dinged and the door opened. They walked out into the hall, “They changed the carpet.”

She snorted back a laugh, “I see.” She looked around; the building was solid, all brick and stone and hardwood, typical of a seventies or eighties office building. Framed pictures and awards lined the walls. They stopped in front of the door marked with a large ‘R2’.

“I’ll see you later,” He said, “Tell me when you’re done and if I’m not done yet wait for me?” He tucked her hair behind her ear and she smiled.

“Okay. First Order isn’t very far either I can ask Poe for a ride if you’re going to be long,”

He nodded, “We need to get clothes for you,” His eyes darkened a little, “Not that I mind seeing you in mine but,”

She laughed, “I can’t keep wearing your clothes they’re too big,”

He pursed his lips. It was so strange seeing him wearing a tie even if it was loose. It kind of made her feel like a naughty schoolgirl about to get a spanking. She flushed and tried to think of something else, “Well if we’re early today we should get clothes from your apartment. The penthouse is a lot closer to both of our workplaces and…” He trailed off and she looked up. He was flushed and his jaw was tight. He swallowed hard. Was he asking her to move in with him? He opened his mouth again and shut it quickly when they heard Leia. He turned an even brighter shade of red.

“…back to Taiwan?” Leia turned from the corner, “Oh! Ben! Rey!”

She saw Ben’s jaw tighten and took his hand and squeezed. She smiled, “Hi Leia, Luke.”

Luke nodded, “Rey, Ben.”

Ben’s hand tightened around her’s, “Mom, _uncle_.”

Awkward silence.

“I’ll see you later,” Ben finally told Rey, “Text me,”

She nodded and closed her eyes when he dropped a kiss on her forehead, “Drive carefully,”

“I was just about to go have brunch with Luke,” Leia said tentatively, “Would you like to join us?”

“No, thank you.” Ben said coldly, “I have to get back to the studio.”

“I see.” Another awkward silence. Rey had never seen Leia floundering for something to say like that before.

“I have to go in now,” Rey told him, asking silently with her eyes if he’d be okay. Would he be able to read her concern? He squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile.

“Go, before Dameron throws a fit,” He said and kissed the back of her hand before letting go. She smiled a little before going in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Luke is going to Taiwan next because really, Taiwan is gorgeous (look up Jioufen please, you'll understand what I mean).
> 
> -X


	116. I Just Want You To Know Who I Am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the real world 😢 
> 
> -X

Would he be alright? Rey sighed softly. She still had no idea what went on with Luke and Ben but it didn’t seem like something that’s ever been resolved.

“Rey, you okay?” Poe was looking at her and she flushed.

“I’m fine, sorry I was just…” She chewed on her lower lip, “Thinking of something.”

“It doesn’t happen to be the owner of that shirt, does it?” He arched a brow and she turned even redder, “Don’t think I didn’t notice he was wearing that yesterday. And that you’re wearing the same shorts too and I’m pretty sure that’s not your jacket.”

“You’re kind of creepy, you know that.”

He shrugged, “I’m your manager, sunshine. I’m supposed to notice these things. Besides, if you were listening to me you’d know I was talking about the press.”

He turned his laptop and showed her pictures of them on their date.

“Now that you’ve come out as a couple,” He showed her the next slide, “This is the statistics of your social media accounts for the past couple of days. As you can see, your followers significantly dropped on the first day; about uh, hundred, hundred-fifty thousand? Majority of it is of the white _male_ category, mid- to late thirties, _but_ if you look at the next day, you’ll see that it shoots up by almost three hundred thousand, mostly women, a good mix of white and POC in their early to mid-twenties and also a good number of teenage boys so really, it’s not bad.”

“What made the drop happen in the first place?” Rey asked.

“Well, that might be my fault,” Poe sighed and ran his fingers through his curly hair, “I actively encouraged your innocent, idol-esque image so it’s only natural for there to be backlash once you get into a relationship especially with a man ten years your senior. Most of the male fanbase thought that he’s, well, _tainting_ you in a way.”

“But I’ve had relationships before,”

“Well, yeah but that was before you became popular. At the start your fanbase consisted mostly of girls teenage girls but now that’s become a bit broader once we’ve established your image of uh, well, cute little rockstar.”

She sighed, who knew stardom was so limiting?

Poe went on to the next slide, “The pictures are pretty good and Solo’s getting a better reception too from what I hear. I’ve run the idea with Leia about having a collab with First Order.” He grew serious, “Rey, you have to tell me. Are you serious about him?”

She blinked, “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

He tapped at the photo on his screen, “Are you _sure_? Because a lot of people are noticing you two now and now that people know he’s actually a talented singer too, I think it might be a good idea for the both of you to appear together in a music video and an album cover,”

“Wait, you’re telling me to write love songs?” She’s actually already started but it was mostly about him and Finn.

“Why not? You’ve _just_ released your album but you need to start working on your next one.”

“But what’s this have to do with Ben?”

“Rey,” He sighed, “Everyone’s looking at you two right now. Even if it’s just a single for now, the star power he can give is more than enough to shoot you all the way up the charts.”

“I’m not going to use him like that, Poe.” She frowned, “And what did Leia say about this?”

“She thinks it’s a good idea, of course.” He shrugged, “Of course you’re going to have to talk to Solo about it and if he’s game I’ll set a meeting with Hugs and Phasma.” She chewed on her lip, “So I ask you again, are you really serious about him?”

“Of course I am.” She said, “I love him, Poe.”

He nodded and pursed his lips, “Good. I can work with that. He’s already appeared in your livestream and I’ve confirmed with Hux that it _doesn’t_ breach his contract with First Order so he can keep showing up in your YouTube videos.”

“Are you sure you can deal with it, Rey? I mean, you’re just starting out and I don’t want you to be shocked or anything if he say, has an on-screen love interest.”

She never actually thought about that.

To her, he was just her Ben. To the rest of the world, he was leading man, actor Ben Solo.

“And when you start touring and he starts filming? Can you handle that?”

Anxiety gnawed unpleasantly in the pit of her stomach. The past few weeks have been a dream and now it’s like reality just came crashing down again. Would she be able to handle it when they’re separated for long periods of time? When they can’t even communicate for long because of their busy schedules?

“I have to,” She said softly, “I have to be able to. I don’t want to lose him,” It was a terrifying thought, losing him just when they’d found each other.

Poe sighed again, “Well, I can personally guarantee that the Skywalkers, no, the _Solos_ are loyal to a fault so you don’t really have to worry about _that_. It’s just the pressure I’m worried about.”

“I can take pressure,” She said, “And I would want to be with him for as long as I can,” His lip quirked up.

“Well, in that case, I already have _some_ ideas of what we can do provided we can get a schedule with your boyfriend,” He gave her a charming smile and carried on, “The online sales of your album and the organic listeners you have also spiked when the news came out so I think you, well, he, announced your relationship at quite the right time, no? And that video you made for us is gaining a lot of traction too. People are starting to ask if that was Ben singing with you. Of course, you don’t have to confirm it. Finn wouldn’t want you too anyway since it wasn’t made as a PR thing.”

Rey kept chewing her lip. It does seem like she’d reaping a lot of benefits from her relationship with Ben. Would that be what people would think of her? That she’s just using him?

“I want to do things on my own, Poe.” She said, “I don’t want to rely on his popularity,”

“Rey, sunshine. This is just a naturally occurring thing going on right now. It just so happens that your boyfriend’s popular too. _You’re_ popular on your own and you’re so talented it literally amazes me every time I look at you. I wouldn’t have noticed you and Resistance wouldn’t have signed you on if you weren’t and yet here we are. From what I understand it was you singing that drew him to you too so don’t feel like you’re nothing special.” He took her hand and squeezed, “You trust me, right?”

“Of course I do, Poe. You’re my manager and my friend and you’re marrying my best friend, so of course.”

He laughed, “You know I only want what’s best for you.” She gave him a small smile, “It’s going to be okay. Just talk to him about it,”

“Are you giving me relationship advice now?” She laughed too, “Thank you.”

“You’re not alone anymore Rey and you should really learn to lean on others too every once in a while.”


	117. I Don't Think They'd Understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did Luke Skywalker do to our boy?
> 
> -X

“Ben?” He looked up at Hux, “You’re not listening,”

He grimaced, “Sorry.”

“Is everything alright?” The offices of First Order was nothing at all the offices of Resistance. Everything was cold glass and metal, modern, sleek, _lifeless_.

“I’m fine.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Hux was telling him about his options. He’d prefer a smaller role with less shooting time and not many location shoots so he didn’t have to be away for so long but it seems he’d have to, either way.

“Look, I know how it’s like to be away from your girlfriend for long periods of time. It sucks.” Hux said, “But what can you do? You’re an actor, I’m your manager, where you go, I go, but look at me and Rosie, we’re fine aren’t we?”

“You know you can bring her,” Ben said, “I can’t bring Rey.”

“Yeah but Rose doesn’t want to. She _does_ like her job,” He shrugged, “But we always figure something out. Rey’s a strong girl as you said I’m sure she’ll be fine. So, which script did you like the best?”

They discussed it a bit more but couldn’t come to a conclusion. He sighed and decided to bring them home instead.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I would’ve thought you’d be happy, what with your date and everything. Did you two have a fight?”

“No, of course not.” He ran his fingers through his hair again, “I dropped her off this morning. We met my uncle.”

“Oh.”

Phasma came in and frowned, “What’s with the long faces?” As usual she was tapping away at her iPad, “I would’ve thought you’d be happy seeing as there’s overwhelming support for your relationship with our little songstress,”

He frowned at her, “ _My_ songstress, Phas, not ours, mine.” Hux sounded like he choked and Phasma cackled.

“My apologies, oh great Benjamin Organa-Solo, I meant _your_ songstress.” She showed him a bunch of numbers and statistics he wasn’t sure he understood, “In any case, if you were the sweet, Internet’s Boyfriend a couple of months ago, you are now officially Daddy Solo, sex idol. Congratulations.”

Ben blinked, dumbfounded, and felt heat rush up to his cheeks, “Jesus.” He covered his face and groaned.

“You’re in that _perfect_ age between millenial and boomer and a lot of people find that charming right now. Kind of like a good mix between the two.” Phasma said.

“I have no idea what you just said,” Ben sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“ _Exactly_. It seems a lot of younger girls are finding it charming how much of a techno-barbarian you are since your new followers seem to be in the same generation as Rey. Some of them even _younger_.” Phasma’s smile sent chills down his spine. What the fuck was she planning now?

“I’m not a pedophile,” He said quickly and Hux laughed.

Phasma made a face, “Of course not. That would be illegal. I was thinking of playing up your Daddy image. You know, just a _little_ bit kinky but not enough to offend. I was thinking a magazine,”

Ben groaned again, “Please don’t,”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Hux said, “We can borrow Rey and have her in her usual cute self. It’ll be _great_ marketing for both of you,”

“No. I’m not making her do something like that,” Ben scowled, “And how are you even going to imply that on print?” He had a sudden image of her in lingerie and his scowl deepened.

“We won’t make her strip, keep your mind out of the gutter, Benjamin.” Phasma said, “Anyway, I was doing some research on the dynamic and it does seem to fit what people see whenever they see the two of you together.”

“Oh, what about princess? She’s always called a baby princess online,”

“Wonderful idea, Armitage. Should I set a meeting with Poe Dameron and Rey?”

“Aren’t you two getting way ahead of yourselves?” Ben scowled, “Seriously,”

“Well, if you want you can ask her.” Hux said, “I’m sure she won’t mind,”

“She’d be happy to spend time with you,” Phasma said with a nod, “What young girl in a new relationship wouldn’t, right? And the world is currently looking at you two so might as well use the opportunity to make sure they keep looking.”

The two of them kept throwing ideas and Ben sighed again. He wasn’t really in the mood to argue anyway.

Fucking Luke Skywalker.

“Why don’t we go out for lunch, eh?” Hux said, “So you cheer up a little,”

He shrugged, “Fine, I guess. You decide.”

“Mind telling me what happened?” Phasma asked with an arched brow, “Family matters?”

“His uncle,” Hux said as a way of explanation.

“Ah.” She nodded, “Let’s have lunch out, yes?”

Ben’s lip quirked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so nice to have friends.
> 
> I actually ran this through with the most logical person I know (Y) because theoretically if your image goes in one direction and it's being accepted as canon (ie. online) the PR manager/agent would want to capitalise on that and make it even bigger. Kind of like a fan service. 
> 
> -X


	118. Fancy Meeting You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all my Filipino peeps out there; you might recognise the lyric title (or intro? It's literally the first line of the song). _Hint_ it's a song by the Filipino Michael Buble who literally only ever becomes relevant during Christmas. 
> 
> -X

“Fancy meeting you here!” Poe said, “Having lunch too?” Rey looked up and flushed when she met Ben’s surprised gaze.

“Yes, what a coincidence,” Phasma said and arched a brow at Hux.

“Right? Why don’t we eat together since we’re all friends anyway?” Poe’s grin was way too big for it to be a coincidence.

Resistance and First Order were close enough to share a walking-radius but it wasn’t common for the two groups to meet.

“Great idea,” Hux said, “Shall we?”

“Since when have you two been bosom buddies?” Phasma asked and Hux turned bright red.

“Since I confessed to him,” Poe said with a huge grin. Phasma’s brows shot up.

“Pardon?”

“It’s a long story,” Hux sighed defeatedly, “Let’s go, I’m starving,”

They were sat at a large rectangular table. Ben of course, took the seat next to hers and Phasma took the head so Hux and Poe were forced to sit next to each other.

They ordered and Ben arched a brow, “Are you sure you’re only having a salad? Won’t you get hungry?”

Rey flushed, “I have to at _least_ maintain a diet,” She said, “I haven’t been going to the gym lately either and I ate so much during the holidays,”

“Rey, you’re tiny.” Ben said, “I can lift you up with one arm,” She remembered that yes, he did do that, and flushed, “At least order chicken or a salmon or something,”

She chewed her bottom lip. Maybe she’ll just exercise some more.

“Well, Benjamin, I didn’t know you can be so _concerned_ ,” Phasma was smiling and she flushed again, “But he _is_ right, dear. You’re remarkably trim. Or maybe it’s that shirt. It seems rather large, no? But where have I seen it before I wonder…”

“Stop teasing her,” Poe said and laughed, “I think it’s fine, Rey. You don’t have to be shy,”

She acquiesced and ordered a salmon.

“Good girl,” Ben rumbled and the three managers turned to look at him, “What?”

Poe coughed and hid a smile, “Nothing,”

Ben arched a brow, “How was the house hunt?”

“What house hunt?” Hux elbowed him hard, “Oh! I mean, uh, right.” He cleared his throat, “I, I mean, we. did actually find a good house but I don’t know I kind of feel it’s small? But it _is_ in front of the beach.”

“What house hunt?” Phasma asked, “And what is this about a confession?”

Hux choked on his water, “It’s just a thing from our childhood,” He said in between coughs.

“Ah, that.” Poe laughed awkwardly, “I had a crush on him when we were kids. Of course he pretty much ignored me and just stuck with Solo.” He gave a sad little moue, “But that’s okay, I wasn’t really hoping for anything,”

“Does Finn know about that?” Rey asked and Poe flushed.

“Of course he does! I did tell him. Very casually. It’s pretty much the same as him asking you about Solo’s dick and er, _performance_.”

This time Ben was the one who choked and flushed.

Rey giggled.

“Jesus Christ, Dameron, mind your language, we’re in public and you’re representing your star and your company.” Phasma scowled at him.

He looked down, cowed, “Sorry,” He muttered and cleared his throat, “So…since we’re all here,” He eyed Rey who shook her head. He grinned, “I was running through this idea with Rey earlier,”

“No.” She scowled and Ben looked at her questioningly.

“Oh good, we’re running through an idea with Solo too earlier,” Hux said and this time Ben scowled too.

“No.”

Phasma snickered, “Why don’t we share what we’ve been talking about since you both are so adamantly against it? I mean, we _could_ be thinking of the same thing.”

Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Look, you don’t have to say yes or no.” He told her, “But these two are suggesting a photoshoot for a magazine. For both of us.”

“Both of us? What do you mean?” She asked. He threaded their fingers together and she knew then that he was _nervous,_ “Ben?”

“It’s his _Daddy_ image,” Phasma finally said with a sigh. Ben’s fingers tightened around hers. She looked at Phasma, “It’s been cemented now and so I would like to ride the wave of it. Thank you, by the way, for making that happen.”

Rey flushed, “I didn’t do anything,”

“Well, your livestream was confirmation enough and I’m _pretty_ certain there was that Twitter reply,”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, since you’re baby, or is it princess? Or both? We thought it might be a good idea to have a small collaborated PR project,” Phasma said, “What do you think?”

“Well, Poe said something similar,” Rey said and looked back at Ben, “He said it’d be a nice marketing stunt and we can take pictures for an album cover. Maybe appear in the music video together,” 

“Oh, are you writing love songs?” Hux asked and she flushed again.

“W-well, I have a few based off other people’s relationships.” She stammered, “Just a few ideas and lines though, not a whole song yet or anything,”

She looked at Ben again who shrugged, “Are you okay with it?” He asked.

“I am if you are?” He didn’t look bothered or upset.

Poe smacked his forehead, “Christ, sunshine, if you’re fine and he’s fine then we’re good, right?”

“I don’t mind,” Ben finally said, “As long as you’re not being forced to or anything,”

Hux groaned too, “My god, you two really are meant for each other.”

“Well then, I suppose it’s safe to assume that I can start working on the contract for our magazine feature and we’ll talk about the album when the time comes.” Phasma said, “Dameron, I will set a meeting with you, if you please,”

Poe gave her a two-finger salute.

Their food arrived and Rey wondered if she’ll be able to go back to the gym again. If she understood what Ben was trying to say earlier, she might have to switch gym memberships. Speaking of Ben, how is he? He didn’t look too happy when he saw Luke earlier.

He plopped a piece of chicken on her plate and she looked up with surprise.

“Eat,” He grunted and she flushed. Did she _really_ eat that much that he's worried when she's not eating a lot? She suppressed a giggle.


	119. This Is Just The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the song inspo @pagan_seijou; Life Vest by The Material 😉 
> 
> -X

They’d gone back to her apartment to pick up her clothes before going back to the penthouse. He’d told her to pack for the rest of the week and snatched two mugs from the cupboard.

“I’ll make dinner,” He said, “I promised to cook for you yesterday.”

“Do you need any help?” She asked with a smile. He shook his head and shooed her away, “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course not,” He chuckled, “But if you stay here I might not be able to cook you dinner again,” He gave her a quick kiss, “Now go and unpack,”

“Yes, Daddy,” He gave her a stern look but couldn’t seem to stop his lips from twitching up anyway. She winked and left.

He’d cleared a space in his closet for her. She wasn’t sure when he did that but she thought it was sweet. She passed by the cat mug on his desk and giggled when she saw a plushie of Joy from Inside Out sitting happily inside.

Really, he was so sweet.

She’d finished unpacking by the time he called her out for dinner. The smell of meat and earthy herbs made her stomach rumble.

“It looks great,” She said, eyeing the perfectly plated steak.

“Thanks,” He gave her a toothy grin, “I only know how to cook two things properly. Pasta and steak,”

She snorted back a laugh, “Ah, the bachelor’s meal,”

He winked and tucked her hair behind her ear before swooping down to steal a kiss. She gasped and closed her eyes and whimpered when he pulled away.

“You have to eat, sweet thing,” He murmured and brushed his thumb over her lower lip.

“What’s with you and feeding me today?” She asked with a laugh and settled into her seat. He shrugged.

“I don’t like it when you don’t eat a lot,” He said, “You might get sick,”

She laughed again, “Ben, I’m fine. I can even go days without eating,” He looked pained.

“But you’re not in that situation anymore Rey,” He knelt on the floor and gripped her hand, “And I want,” He sighed, “I want to give you everything,”

“Ben,” She shook his hand off and cupped his cheeks, “What’s wrong?” He didn’t meet her eyes, “Did anything happen?”

He sighed a little and gave her a small smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, “Let’s eat first,”

Throughout dinner he tried to keep the conversation going but she knew something was on his mind. What was it? Why couldn’t he tell her? He was okay this morning, could it have something to do with Luke? If so, what did Luke do to him?

She offered to wash the dishes but he shook his head so she sat at the counter to watch him. He looked to be deep in thought. Did it have something to do with work?

He glanced up at her, “What?”

“You seem troubled,” She said and he sighed and ran his sudsy fingers through his hair. She giggled at his scowl, “Are you okay?”

“I just had a long day,” He said and washed his hands. He approached her and leaned down to press his head on her shoulder, “I guess I had such a good time yesterday I forgot that it’s still a weekday.”

“Me too,” She said, “What did you do in the office today?”

He shrugged, “I might have to choose a script soon,”

“Oh.” That meant he’s going to have to start shooting again and that might mean a lot of travelling. But was that really all he was worried about? “Isn’t it good that people are trying to hire you?”

“Yeah but,” He didn’t continue and sighed instead.

“But?”

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” She said and wrapped her arms around his back, “But you won’t be starting anytime soon, right? We’ll do our feature first. That should be fun, right? And we can call each other when you do start shooting,”

“I guess.”

“Ben, is that really it?” He didn’t answer immediately and she had a feeling she knew what else was bothering him, “Did Luke say anything to you?”

He stiffened, “No. No, he didn’t.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened between you two?”

He sighed again, “It’s a long story, do you want coffee?”

“Sit down, I’ll make it.” She said and he nodded and made his way to the couch.


	120. Hide Us From The Pain Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next bit hehe. I hope your week is productive (and here's to hoping that this pandemic ends soon for everyone's sake)
> 
> -X

He saw Luke in Leia’s party so in theory he shouldn’t be too affected by his uncle’s presence. He thought he’d gotten over his bitterness but really, he was probably just ignoring it all these years. On hindsight, he understood where Luke was coming from, violence was never really his thing and he _was_ a violent kid if people were to look at it from the outside.

His mother didn’t understand either and his father… he wasn’t actually there when he was sent to Luke’s but he didn’t ask when he’d returned out of the blue. He was supposed to stay there for a while after all.

Han probably convinced Leia not to ask either because none of them did. All they knew was that he and Luke had a falling out. Sometimes he wished they asked.

Rey came back with two mugs of coffee and sat next to him.

He gave her a tight smile and she wiggled under his arm. He chuckled, “You know you can tell me anything,” She said with those doe eyes and he pulled her closer, almost on his lap. She snuggled and he felt the tension on his shoulders ease a little.

“I know,” He pressed his lips against her crown and sighed, “It’s just a really stupid thing that happened when I was young.”

“It’s not stupid if you’re still bothered about it twenty years later,” She said, “I know I’m still hung up on stuff from a long time ago even though it seems like it’s not really a big deal.”

He settled back into the couch, “You’re right. I thought I was over it, really.”

“What happened?”

“You know how I said I got into fights before, right?” She nodded, “My parents thought it might’ve been boredom or I dunno, an excess amount of energy, I guess. They thought maybe farm work would give me an outlet and it did. I actually liked the manual labour since it gave me something to do, you know?”

She nodded again, “I know, anxious energy’s hell and tinkering always helps.”

He nodded, “Exactly. So it was nice. He didn’t tell anyone I was his nephew, just that a friend asked him to take me in for a bit. We couldn’t say anything about mom and dad’s relationship, you know? Dad had an image to maintain and mom didn’t want people to think Resistance is only good because of dad’s name.”

He understood that. He understood that when there’s a parent-teacher conference, it’d be one of the maids who’d attend. He understood that if there’s a school event, nobody would be there for him. He understood that during graduation there’d be a cameraman in place of his parents. He understood all of that, his grandmother made sure he did, but she tried her best when he was growing up so when he’d moved and Padmé couldn’t travel so much anymore, he’d been left alone. It was jarring, to say the least.

“So what happened?” She was looking at him again. He figured it was because he’d paused for too long.

“There was a girl,” His lip quirked up when she pouted a little, “Small and cute like you,” He cupped her cheek and dropped a kiss on her forehead, “I didn’t have a crush on her or anything. She was just one of the kids doing part-time work there. But as I’ve said, she’s tiny as shit,” He cleared his throat, “Sorry. Anyway, I helped her a couple of times with the chores.”

“You really do like taking care of people,” She said, smiling a little, “My hero,”

He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, a little embarrassed, “There was this kid who liked her, I think. Some politician’s son.” His jaw tightened, “I saw him assaulting her one time in the barn. He pushed her so hard she broke her wrist,” He heard her gasp, “I just. I got so angry I just,” He sighed, “Someone told Luke about the commotion and got a few of the guys to pull me off. I might’ve overdone it, to be honest since he had to spend a couple of days in the ICU.”

“I’m sure he deserved it,” Rey said, “So what did Luke do?”

He bit the inside of his mouth and sighed. He could still hear his words, even now. “Of course he was mad. I could’ve killed the guy and he had a hard time convincing his father not to press charges. But more than that, I guess he was disappointed.”

_You’ll bring them down._

“He was disappointed that he couldn’t fix me.” His lip twitched up, “He said if word got out I’d ruin my parents’ reputations.” _I knew it was too soon for them to have a kid,_ “He loves my parents and I was just weighing them down. He always looked at me like I was a ticking time bomb…like I was a monster.” _You were a mistake,_ “I was going to drag my parents down. Abortion wasn’t really an option at the time and my grandparents, even grandpa, were against it. That’s why I ended up in Mishawaka in the first place. They were so goddamn young,” He chuckled though he didn’t really feel like laughing, “Mom was nineteen, dad was thirty-one so maybe they really should’ve…”

“Ben,” She shifted and straddled his hips, “That’s not true,” Her eyes shone; was she going to cry? “Your parents chose to keep you and they love you and I’m sure if anything were to happen they’d support you,”

He shrugged, “Anyway it was fine. I understood why it had to be like that. I didn’t really mind. I came back earlier than they expected and that’s that.”

“That was out of line what he said,” She said, her brows furrowing, “How could he say that? And what happened to the girl? And that asshole?”

“Ah, she was treated. The politico paid for the hospital fees and she quit. I’m not really sure what happened to her. I left that same night,”

“How did you get back?”

“I stole Luke’s truck.” 

She blinked up at him, “You stole his truck?”

“Yes.” He said, “I wasn’t a good driver at the time but I didn’t crash into anything.” She started giggling and he smiled. It was a nice sound and all of a sudden he felt so much lighter than he did just now.

“So you never spoke with him again after that?” He shook his head, “What did your parents say?”

He looked away from her eyes focusing instead on her collarbones. In that moment itfelt like she could see right through him, “They don’t know.”

“Oh.” Her voice cracked and he looked up with alarm, “Ben,” She was tearing up and blinking back tears, “You should’ve told them,”

“Rey,” He cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears that have yet to fall from her eyes, “Rey, it’s alright, don’t cry. It was a long time ago,”

“But it’s still hurting you, until now,” She cupped his cheeks too. When did he start crying? He wasn’t upset, not anymore, not at the moment. He wasn’t…his chest ached and he realised for the first time that it had been aching for so long that he didn’t even notice it anymore.

He held her tight and let it all out.


	121. So Hold Me Close And Don't Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Luke is a big dick. Leia and Han were shit parents (she's admitted this too) hopefully our boy can recover soon 😢 (Also creating a fictional PR project for fictional people in a not-so-fictional world is _hard_ ) 
> 
> -X

She’d seen Ben cry twice now and every time it broke her heart. How much had they taken from him? What kind of childhood did he even have? She knew Leia loved him and from what she could see, Han did too, quite a lot.

But for _Luke_ to say that?

She held him tight. How could he do this to him? To his own family? To a _child_?

Ben didn’t cry out like last time, instead he held on and shook quietly, like he didn’t want her to notice.

“Maybe you should tell her,” She said, running her hands down his back. He shuddered a little, “I’m sure she’s wondering too what happened exactly,”

He sighed, “He’s her twin.” He said, his voice thick and muffled by her shoulder, “She adores him so I don’t want to hurt her like that,”

“Has he even tried to talk to you?” She remembered his warning against Ben and tightened her hold on him, “Or even try to make amends?”

“…no.”

She didn’t say anything and neither did he.

She held him until her legs went numb and she felt his arms loosen a little and his shoulders droop.

“Let’s go to bed,” She murmured and he nodded sullenly. He caught her when she stumbled and gave him a small smile. He didn’t smile back, instead giving her a piteous look reminiscent of a kicked puppy. She reached up to cup his cheek and he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

They showered together, slowly, solemnly, with touches meant to comfort and not arouse. She wanted to ease the pain in his eyes. How lonely he must’ve been when he came back from the farm. She should ask Poe and Hux about how he was when she had the chance.

He held her tightly, his head resting on her chest as he slept.

“I wish I could’ve been your friend,” She mumbled, brushing his long locks gently, “I wish I could’ve been there for you,” He murmured in his sleep and his brows furrowed. He held her tighter, like he was afraid she’d disappear. Was that why he was trying so hard to take care of her? So she wouldn’t leave him? “I love you,” She whispered softly.

Surprisingly he woke up earlier than she did. He smiled when she stumbled into the kitchen but she could see the dark bags under his still-swollen eyes.

“Morning,” He rumbled, “Do you like Elvis?”

She gave him a tentative smile, “The singer or the food combo?” She said, eyeing the bowls of oatmeal on the counter.

His lip twitched up, “Food,”

“Yes but I’ve only ever had it as a sandwich,”

He nodded and flipped bacon into the bowls. He chopped the bananas and arranged them neatly on top and dropped a hefty dollop of peanut butter in the middle. He busied himself with making coffee next.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly and he paused.

“I’m fine,” He said and sighed, “Just…mellow, I guess.”

She slid off the stool and wrapped her arms around him, cheek pressed against the middle of his back. She could feel him shudder softly underneath her cheek. She held him tighter, “It’s going to be okay,” She said and he sighed, relaxing a little.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“I didn’t want to bother you with stuff like this.” He turned around with a sigh and wrapped his arms around her, “I didn’t want to worry you,”

“Ben,” She propped her chin up on his chest, “You should be more worried if I _wasn’t_ worried. You’re my person,” She suppressed a giggle when he blinked and flushed and looked away a little. He cleared his throat. “Should we eat?”

He nodded, his throat working a little, “Rey,” She looked up once she was seated again, “You said…in your livestream,” He wasn’t looking at her and hesitated, “Never mind.”

“What is it?”

“We’ll be late we can talk about it some other time,”

She cocked her head sideways and frowned at the stubborn set of his jaw.

It seems there are still things he wouldn’t talk to her about after all.


	122. You Can Be The Prince And I Can Be Your Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title: Perfect Two 
> 
> Only one tonight! 
> 
> -X

The Valentines’ special came as a surprise.

“It’s a bit of a rush so we really have to fix the schedule,” Poe said, “Actually Phasma and Hugs and Solo should be arriving soon.”

“What is it about?” Ben didn’t mention it either.

In the week that she stayed over he’d slowly gone back to his usual doting self and didn’t bring up the conversation about her livestream again. What could it have been?

“You know how we’re working on a feature for the two of you right? Magazine,” She nodded, “Well, there was a slot that opened up in Vanity Fair for Valentines and they want you two in it.”

They were in R2 again. There was a knock on the door and Ben strode in with Phasma and Hux in tow. He’d loosened his tie and smiled when he saw her.

“Good afternoon,” Phasma said pleasantly.

“Right on time,” Poe said.

Ben walked right up to her and gave her a kiss. She flushed.

Phasma cleared her throat, “Get a hold of yourself Benjamin we’re still working,”

He shot her a glare and she scowled right back.

Hux sighed, “When he found out we’re coming here it was like he suddenly came to life.”

“That’s just what love does,” Poe chuckled, “Shall we start?”

Ben sat next to her and took her hand. He looked so much better than when he did this morning when he dropped her off.

He hadn’t gone inside after that first day. She figured he was avoiding another encounter with Luke again.

Poor Ben. Luke was such an arse to him and he never even apologised! She heard he’d be leaving the country again soon. On one hand she was glad that he was but on the other she hoped she’d be able to meet him once to at least beat some sense into him. She didn’t think Ben would want her to speak with Leia about it either and truthfully it didn’t feel like her place to. Leia needed to to be the one to ask and Ben had to be brave enough to open up to her.

“Here are some pegs for the shoot,” Phasma said, motioning towards the projector screen, “Do tell me what you think,”

“It looks like a cross between engagement photos and boudoir pictures. A little more and it’ll end up censored,” Poe said drily.

She looked up and flushed. They wanted her to sit _where_?

“Calm yourself they’re just pegs.” Phasma waved her hand, “Now I know we have to maintain our songstress,” She cleared her throat, “Pardon, I mean _Benjamin’s_ songstress,” Rey flushed and glanced up at Ben who looked nonplussed, “Image as a cute, almost-innocent girl but I think we can do with _some_ sexiness without showing too much skin. Of course it would depend on how comfortable you are with each other,”

“I don’t think there’s much of a problem there,” Ben rumbled, “I’m pretty sure there are a lot of photos floating around online of how comfortable we are with each other,”

“Yes that is true. By all means you two _are_ a normal couple,” She shrugged, “Still, I respect the image you are trying to maintain so most of the work would be your expression,”

“I’m not a very good actor, I think.” Rey said, “So I’m not really sure what kind of face you want me to pull,” Ben lifted her the hand he was still holding and nipped at her knuckle. She looked at him with surprise and flushed.

“That _,”_ Phasma said, “Thank you for the demonstration, Ben.” Ben did that eyebrow lift he sometimes does in lieu of a wink and her cheeks turned even hotter, “I don’t think we’ll have much of a problem,”

“Okay so Ben is king and Rey is princess, no problem. I’ll take care of her outfit so I’m sure it still fits her image,” Poe said, “Pretty sure I can get a few ready before this weekend so we can choose. Absolutely _no_ naked pictures,”

“Of course not,” Phasma said, “We are concerned about maintaining her image too as well as Ben’s. It won’t be good for the overall picture we’re trying to form for the both of them as a couple if it diverts so suddenly like that.”

“And I don’t want Rey to look like a helpless princess either,” Poe said, “She’s trying really hard to make sure that people don’t think she’s using Solo as a stepping stone in her career,”

Ben squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile.

“We have taken that into account don’t worry,” Hux said, “And we know Ben has a powerful almost violent presence,” Why did everyone seem to think Ben was violent? “So we’re trying to temper that with something cuddly and soft and fluffy,”

“I’m not a pet,” She said with a frown.

“You kind of do look like a bunny, right now,” Poe sighed a little, “Especially with that thing on your head,” She frowned and touched the headband she had on; it had a ribbon on top resembling bunny ears. She actually forgot she was wearing it. “Don’t worry, you’re still cute.”

Ben was nodding and she frowned, “You think I’m a pet?”

“Yes,” He said without hesitation and she gaped, “A very cute pet,”

“Blast it, you two,” Hux sighed, “We’re still working so _please_ flirt some other time,”

“You three seem to be doing a great job handling things,” Ben said and Poe chuckled.

She was glad he was feeling better. She leaned on his arm a little and tried to listen to their meeting. It wasn’t easy. Not when Ben was feeling up her thigh underneath the table. She felt the heat rush to her cheeks and her panties grow wet.

“You’re going to have to be there early so we can prepare adequately,” Phasma said, “And you _must_ sleep early as well. There’s only so much make up can hide, you know,”

“I think pink is a good colour,” Poe said, “White is ideal but I think that might give people the wrong idea. What are you thinking our king should wear?” He frowned, “Honestly I can’t think of Solo as a benevolent king. Maybe a tyrant or an emperor,”

Phasma scowled, “We’re _trying_ to make him look nicer.”

“I mean it’d make my Rey of Sunshine look even more like an angel so,” He shrugged and Ben scowled.

“I don’t think he should be a tyrant,” Rey said, “I think he’d make an excellent king,”

“You’d be the perfect empress,” Ben grumbled, “Looking like an angel but is actually a mischievous devil,”

“I thought you just said I was a bunny?”

“No, that’s what Dameron said,”

Poe smacked the palm of his hand on his forehead, “Jesus Christ you two. Hux literally just said stop flirting or we’ll never get anything done,”

Ben narrowed his eyes at him and Rey stuck her tongue out and grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bunny ear headband: 


	123. I've Been Waiting For A Girl Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waiting For A Girl Like You by Foreigner
> 
> Warning: Some smut ? Is it considered smut if there's no penetration or climax? 
> 
> -X

The day before the scheduled interview and photoshoot, everyone arrived at the penthouse.

Ben did not seem happy to host so many people at the same time so early in the morning on a Sunday. Poe and Finn, Hux and Rose, and Phasma, all arrived promptly at eight in the morning.

“We need to get you ready for tomorrow,” Poe said, “Manicure, pedicure, haircut, facial,” He was reading the schedule from his phone, “Final fitting,”

“Also she won’t be sleeping here tonight,” Phasma said and Ben’s expression darkened.

“Why not?” He demanded before she could ask.

“Well obviously based on your appearances it seems you two can’t keep your hands off of each other,” Phasma said drily, “So to make things go smoothly and to at _least_ give those love bites a day to fade some. It wouldn’t really be beneficial for people to think you’re a sadist on top of everything, no?”

Rey felt herself turn beet red. Usually she wore make up before going out to cover the marks Ben leaves on her every night but today their friends arrived, unannounced, when they’d just woken up.

There was no _way_ she could hide the marks littering her neck right now.

Rose hid a smile and Finn snorted.

Poe was nodding, ever the professional, before bursting out laughing. “I mean, I _know_ you two have a very _active_ personal life but Jesus, even I’m blushing.”

Ben scowled some more and threw the throw on the couch over her so she could wrap it around her shoulders, “Stop looking,” He said.

“Well, who told you to bite in places people can see?” Phasma asked and Finn finally laughed.

“I’m sorry, I just,” He was looking at Rey and then started laughing again, “I’m sorry. Hold on,” He laughed some more and Rey’s face turned progressively warmer, “I mean, I’ve been with Rey for _years_ and I’ve never even seen _one_ hickey on her before. Like ever and now it’s like, whoa, making up for lost time there, aren’t you, baby girl?” He cleared his throat at Ben’s glare, “Sorry, old habit.”

“Well if we think about it, Ben looks like he had a fight with a cat and lost.” Rose quipped and motioned to him, “I mean, look at those scratches,”

Rey glanced at Ben’s arms and flushed again. Long, jagged, raised lines and red half-moon marks littered his pale skin. She was almost certain he had similar marks on his back.

Phasma sighed, “Which is _why_ we must separate the two of you.”

“It’s only one night,” Hux said, arching a brow, “ _How_ are you two going to survive once we start filming again?”

“Anyway, we should go soon so please get ready,” Poe said, “Phasma and Hux will take Solo, the rest of us will take Rey.”

They got up so they could both get ready, “And no showering together,” Phasma snapped, “Lord knows our schedule’s already delayed.”

They were only allowed one kiss. Phasma was very strict about it being no longer than ten seconds. They’d packed the day and dragged her all across LA for the various appointments and by the time everything was done, it was nighttime again. She’d sent a few pictures to Ben while she was in the salon and the spa and he’d sent one back of himself looking grim while having a haircut.

She’d hinted online earlier in the week about the photoshoot and hinted at the presence of Ben in them so now she posted a picture of her baby pink nails and a portion of the bodice of her dress.

_Tomorrow’s the day! @VanityFairUS #Photoshoot_

Poe had booked them in a two-bedroom hotel suite near the studio. Poe, Finn and Rose went out to buy them all dinner and to give her some time to relax on her own.

She wondered if Ben was home yet. She took a selfie of herself neck-down while in the tub and sent it to him. Her phone rang almost immediately.

“You’re a tease,” He groaned and she laughed.

“Hi, Daddy,” He groaned again, “Whatcha doing?”

“Thinking about how I want to fuck you right now,”

She flushed and giggled, “Maybe tomorrow,”

“Are you alone in your hotel room right now?”

“Uh huh,”

“ _Fuck_.” He groaned again and she shivered at how his voice had dropped an octave, “Pinch your nipple for me,” He said and she glanced down at the tightened bud peeking out from the bubbles.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Are you going to be a bad girl?”

“Maybe,”

He chuckled darkly and she shivered again despite the heat of the water, “Do you want Daddy to punish you?” She sucked in a breath.

It wasn’t the first time he’d implied a punishment but he never did give her one. Then again, she was more than happy to obey him whenever they ended up in this kind of scene.

“I don’t know, that depends,”

He laughed this time, “Cheeky. I bet you’ll enjoy it,”

“Maybe,” She pinched her nipple and whimpered.

“Good girl,” He purred, like he could see her, “I bet you’re wet right now,”

“I _am_ in the tub,” She heard him shift and something creaked, “Are you in bed?”

“Mm,” His sigh was stuttered, “What do you think?”

“What are you doing?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” He let out another stuttering breath, “I’m thinking of you.”

Her breath hitched and she bit her lip. She could already see him in her mind’s eye, sprawled on their bed naked, one hand holding his phone to his ear and the other gripping his cock tightly. She squirmed, “Ben,”

“Hm? Are you going to touch yourself? Are you going to reach down under the water and slide your fingers in your pussy?”

She did what he said and whimpered, “Yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Daddy,”

“Good,” She heard him groan softly, “Fuck yourself,” It was slippery and sloppy but she managed to do it. Her legs fell open, “I’m going to fuck you when I get you home tomorrow. Can you imagine it, princess?” She whimpered a ‘yes’, “ _Fuck_ , I love how tight and wet and hot you feel around me,” She pumped her fingers inside her but it wasn’t nearly enough. It was never going to be enough unless it was him, “Don’t cum,”

“Then you shouldn’t either,” She panted and he chuckled.

“What makes you think I would?” His breath hitched, “I’m just,” He groaned, “Waiting for you,”

“For me to what?” She heard the front door open and close and Poe announced that they were back. She suppressed a whimper, “They’re back,”

He let out a soft sigh, “You should go,” He said, “Don’t cum without me,”

“You shouldn’t too,”

“Of course not,” He chuckled, “I’d rather cum inside of you,”

“You’re so kinky,”

“And you aren’t?”

“Rey, we’re back,” Rose knocked on the door, “We got you burrata salad and a pasta from that Italian place down the block,”

“T-thanks! I’ll be right out,” She called out and Ben chuckled again.

“Do you think I can fuck you before the interview?” She flushed, “I think I like the thought of my cum dripping down your thighs while we’re working,”

“Ben,” She whined, “Don’t be a tease,”

“You started it, sweet thing. Go,”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” She sighed and hesitated before adding, “I love you.”

There was a long pause, “I love you too, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are kinky I am so sorry. 
> 
> 🙏 _sumimasen_
> 
> -X


	124. When We Make Love It's Understood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for double update!
> 
> Warning: For sure this has #smut #MoreSmut #ImSorryIfItsTooMuch #ButSmut #MentionsOfCapes
> 
> Also out of everybody I think Phasma's my absolute favourite.
> 
> -X

They’d arrived early and she was whisked away to a dressing room. Her hair was teased mercilessly and pinned up, and her make up was airbrushed on. She’d put on the simple pastel pink corset dress and Rose fussed with the tulle floating down her legs.

“You look so pretty, Rey Rey,” She gushed, “And wait, I know Poe brought a tiara,” She looked into the bags they’d brought and handed the tiara to the hairdresser who fastened it to her hair, “A real princess,” She grinned.

Rey looked at herself in the mirror and flushed. She _did_ look like a princess. Her waist was accentuated by the corset and pushed up her small breasts just enough to look sexy but not vulgar. She wondered if Ben had arrived.

They had a good thirty more minutes before the interview starts. Phasma had rearranged the schedule saying it might be better to do the verbal interview first before the pictures.

“I’m going to see if Ben’s here,” She told Rose who arched a brow and grinned.

“Gotcha,” She said, “Airbrushed make up doesn’t rub off, by the way,” She winked and shooed her away, “If anyone looks for you I’ll keep them distracted.”

Rey grinned and slipped out of her dressing room to find Ben’s.

Hopefully he was done too.

“Remember you have to control yourself,” Phasma said and glanced at her when she entered. Rey flushed and Phasma sighed, “Try not to ruin anything,” She told her, “Especially your hair. We have some time so I will leave you two alone.”

Ben arched a brow, “Really?”

Phasma gave him a droll look, “Yes, yes, I’ll even distract Armitage. Do try to keep it quiet. We don’t want any strange rumours now, do we,”

She watched Phasma leave before turning back to Ben. He wore a simple black suit with gold trimmings and a furred cape over one shoulder. There was a crown on the table next to him.

“You look pretty,” He said, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. She bit her lip when he stalked towards her, his cape flowing behind him elegantly. She shivered; what is it with him and capes and why do they look so good on him? “My princess,”

He leaned down to give her an open-mouthed kiss that left her breathless. She clutched the lapels of his suit and kissed back just as desperately he was kissing her. His arm went around her waist and pulled her up so he could kiss her deeper. His tongue swept in, flicking against hers, making her sigh and whimper.

His hand went to her thigh and he hitched her leg over his hip so he can grind against her, “Keep your leg up,” She shuddered, “I hope you kept your promise last night,” He growled a little. He inched the skirt of her dress up and shoved a finger inside her without preamble. She mewled and he covered her mouth, “Sh,”

She moaned when he curled his finger inside her. He cursed softly, took his hand off from her lips and crushed his mouth against hers. The wet squelch of his fingers going inside her sounded too loud and she pulled away and panted, “Daddy, please,” He cursed again and pulled away, dragging her over to the dresser table. She half-leaned, half-sat on it and stopped him from giving her another kiss, “Wait,”

They couldn’t be _too_ dishevelled. She heard his belt clink. He flicked his tongue between her fingers and she gasped, eyes widening when it sent shivers down her spine. Who knew her hands were sensitive like that? His eyes were dark, almost drowning her in its intensity. He sucked her middle finger in his mouth and ran his tongue around it. She felt herself tighten over _nothing_ and whimpered.

His lip twitched up. He sucked on her finger again and opened his mouth to speak around it, “Does my baby want me to fuck her?” She bit her lip and nodded, _yes please Daddy._ His grin grew wider and he pulled her fingers out of his mouth with a pop, “Hold onto my shoulders,”

She did and he _shoved._

She gasped at the sudden stretch and banged her head against the glass. Ben hissed and thrust into her fluttering pussy. He caught her lips in another frenzied kiss before pulling back and cursing.

He spun her around quickly and she gasped when cool air wafted across her ass and he was there again, teasing and rubbing and pushing so deliciously slow her eyes glazed over.

“Look at that face you’re making,” He growled and shoved the last few inches inside of her roughly, “Beautiful,”

The wooden dresser creaked worryingly but she couldn’t bring herself to care as he raised her ass higher and slammed into her. She clenched her fists and stopped herself from crying out.

She could hear people rushing around outside, calling for each other, telling them that the preparations for the interview would be finished soon.

He spread her cheeks and she gasped when he pressed even deeper, “Cum for me, baby,” He whispered hotly in her ear. She looked at his face in the mirror and clenched, “ _Fuck_ ,” He thrust into her hard and shuddered, “Cum for me princess, cum for Daddy,” She gasped and tightened around him like a vice as her climax washed over her, “Yes, just like that,” He hissed. She felt his cock jerk inside her and he thrust harder, “ _Fuck_.”

She felt him grip her waist and press tightly against her. She swore she could feel his balls twitch and empty inside her with how tightly he held her against him. His forehead thunked against the glass and he let out a soft, shuddering gasp as he came.

“I missed you,” He murmured and nipped her ear.

“It was only one night,” She said.

“It felt like years,” He slid out of her and carefully tucked himself back into his pants.

She pulled her underwear up and smoothed her skirt, “I missed you too,”

He sighed and cupped her cheek. Was he lonely without her?

There was a soft knock on the door, “I do hope you two are decent,” Phasma’s voice filtered in, “Because we have oh, about ten minutes,”

“We’re fine, Phas.” He called out and pressed his lips against her forehead.

“Isn’t that a sweet sight,” Phasma closed the door behind her, “If only you two didn’t smell like a brothel,”


	125. This Heart Of Mine Has Been Hurt Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interview before photoshoot 😜 Happy Friday!

“Hello! I’m Jyn Erso-Andor and I’ll be interviewing you today,” The woman was small and boisterous, grinning wide, “Nice to meet you.”

Ben shook her hand first, then Rey. He kept his other arm around her waist. Phasma had given them some last minute instructions after spraying them, and the dressing room, down with some sort of lavender-sandalwood room scent she’d brought like she expected exactly what would happen.

Seriously, that woman is scary.

“Nice to meet you,” Rey grinned, “Andor, you say?”

Jyn motioned for them to sit on the loveseat and she settled in on the armchair, “Yup!” She placed an old-school recorder on the coffee table, the red light blinking, “ _Thank you_ by the way, for patronising Andor’s. My husband’s very happy with the influx of customers. He even has a framed photo of you in his office when he doesn’t even have on of his wife,” She sighed before smiling again, “But enough about that, we’re here to talk about you two.”

“Sure, who do you want to ask first?” Rey asked. Ben took her hand and Jyn took note of it.

“Well, a generic question first. Everyone is asking, _how_ did you meet? Of course I saw your livestream but it didn’t really answer exactly what the story is,”

Rey chuckled, “Well, it’s a funny story, a little embarrassing actually.”

“Do tell,” She had a notepad with her but it didn’t seem like she was writing, more sketching? “Don’t mind me, I like to scribble a lot,”

“Well, I said that Ben noticed me because of the livestream,” Ben nodded his agreement, “I didn’t really expect it to go viral or anything. It was just a normal day,”

“Well, he _did_ acknowledge your livestream in a press conference,”

“Yes, I did.” Ben said, “I actually didn’t watch the whole thing at the time,” He laughed a little, “So I did that night and I just kept watching. I thought she was cute,”

Rey flushed.

“So you thought she was cute, and attended her performance, is that it?”

“Yes,” Ben replied, “My manager’s girlfriend was already a big fan of Rey and they usually invite me to hang out. I don’t normally go,”

“I had _no_ idea that he was there,” Rey said, “None at all, but I _do_ know the usual people who come see me look like and that’s how I met his manager, Hux. I actually only found out who he was when Poe told me.”

“Poe is your manager, yes?” Rey nodded, “So how did you find out that Ben Solo was actually in attendance?”

“I didn’t until saw the article,” Rey laughed again.

“Ah, of course. It’s pretty popular that article, Ben, you said it was the reason you made up with your mother?”

“Yes,” Ben answered honestly, “My dad, he used to always sing _‘Hey Jude’ to my mom. Hux and I grew up together, sort of, so he knew that and had his girlfriend request the song.” That bastard_ , “He also invited Rey on a studio tour without my knowledge.”

“Ah, so is it safe to assume that your manager played a key role in your meeting?”

“I’d think so, yes.” He nodded.

“Hux gave us the tour, me and my writer friend, F.N. Tempest,” Jyn nodded, “He was showing us the place and I always was a bit of a ditz. I wasn’t looking at where I was going,”

“To be fair, I wasn’t either.” Ben admitted.

“So I slammed into this _tree_ ,” She giggled a little, “And when I looked up it was _Ben Solo_ in full Kylo outfit and I just,” He watched the flush rise up her cheeks, “I short-circuited a little,”

“Just a little?” He arched a brow and she turned even redder, “From what I heard from Hux it was like you had an out-of-body experience and communicated in squeaks.” He looked at Jyn with a practiced smirk and winked, “I rendered her speechless.”

Jyn laughed, “What a meet-cute! So that’s how you first met, is it?” She was still scribbling rapidly, “And how did you two meet again after that?”

“I went to see her album launch,” He said, “I just kept watching her videos after that. Actually that sounds kind of creepy if you think about it.” Rey laughed and squeezed his hand, “I liked her songs,”

“Yes, the Appearance of Daddy Solo Incident,” He reeled back a little. The _what?_ Jyn laughed and Rey snorted back a laugh, “That was quite a stir,”

“That’s how we became acquaintances, I think?” Rey chewed on her lower lip and he ran his thumb over the back of her hand to stop her, “We both liked to eat but we didn’t really exchange numbers or anything,”

“I actually _did_ have her number, at that time,” Ben admitted and she glanced up at him with surprise, “I’ve had it since we bumped into each other in the studio,”

“Wait, what?” She gaped at him, “And you only called after so long?”

He shrugged.

She shook her head and smiled, “Anyway, he gave me his jacket and a lot of people started shipping us,”

“A _lent_ you my jacket,” He clarified, “You just never returned it,”

“You said I could keep it since it looked better on me anyway,” He chuckled and resisted the urge to lean over and kiss her. It was fun teasing her. He wondered if Jyn would write about that.

“So that’s how you started dating?” Jyn asked.

“No, she actually rejected me.” Ben let out an embarrassed laugh, “A lot of people have been asking after we were seen together and I actually met her by chance while Christmas shopping with my mother. I heard it became a really big deal online.”

“That was the third time we met,” Rey clarified, “I had dinner with Ben and Leia and he brought me home after he dropped off Leia.”

“Leia is technically your boss,” Jyn said and Rey nodded.

“Yes, I actually had no idea so I was so surprised when I saw her come out,” She grinned again and Ben couldn’t help but smile. Her smiles always made him feel light and giddy, “So it was actually kinda awkward,”

“So how did that end up with the whole, ‘are you living together’ question?”

“Ah, well, Rey said earlier we both liked to eat so I we got take out. She flat out rejected me,”

“I thought you were joking,” She pouted and he smiled. She flushed, “Anyway, we uh, had a Christmas dinner with our friends and went to Disneyland on Christmas,”

“I asked her again during the fireworks and she said yes,” Ben continued, “So, we’ve only actually been dating since Christmas.”

“Oh _wow_. That’s,” Jyn laughed a little, “Well, that’s just a little over a month. I’d have thought you two were dating a long time with how comfortable you two with each other.”

“Well, we’re friends,” Ben said, “First and foremost,”

Rey nodded, “It’s almost like an extension of that, I think. I feel like I’ve known him for ages when really, it’s only been, I don’t know, three months?”

“No plans of celebrating a monthsary?”

Rey looked surprised and she looked up at Ben, “A monthsary? I never thought about that,”

“I’ve never heard of that.” Ben deadpanned, “And why would I celebrate a monthsary when I’m aiming for anniversaries?” Jyn arched a brow and he realised what he said. Heat rose to his cheeks, “Wait, don’t include that,”

“Hm, I can’t promise anything, you _did_ agree to this interview.” She grinned again, “Well, since we’re on the topic of anniversaries, that means you’re looking way ahead into the future,” He stiffened a little and Rey glanced up, “Do you see yourselves getting married?”

“Um,” He met Rey’s eyes, wide and a little stunned, “Can we not answer that?”

“Of course, of course, sorry, I’m getting way ahead of myself,” Jyn waved, like she was erasing the question hanging in the air, “It’s only been a month after all. But you two _are_ acting like an old couple. If you don’t mind me asking, have you two ever had an argument?”

“No,” Rey said, “I don’t think so,” He shook his head, “We get along really well, I think.”

“You think?” He arched a brow and she grinned up at him, “In any case, we don’t really have disagreements,”

“If you were to give relationship to your peers, what would you give them?”

“I’d say you have to trust and respect your partner,” Ben said, “Respect their boundaries and trust that they’ll open up to you eventually.”

Rey nodded, “Right, that’s pretty important other than talking things out. And for me, being friends first is really important too. The foundation is there you know? So you know you get along with the person and you’re comfortable with each other.”

“Good point there,” Jyn nodded sagely, “Do you think your age gap has something to do with your getting along so well?”

“No,” He looked at Rey who agreed, “No, I don’t think it’s the age gap. I mean, I think she’s pretty mature compared to me but it’s more we just really like each other.”

“So, are you saying that love can overcome all?” Jyn was smiling now, like she knew what she was asking was a difficult question to answer.

“I,” Rey chewed on her lower lip again before answer, “I don’t think so,” She said, “Because I think that it’s a choice that you make, ultimately. You choose to love someone every day and you choose to stay with them,”

Pride swelled in his chest and he smiled. She looked up at him and smiled too.

“We’re talking about the ‘L’ word now, is it safe to assume that you two…”

“Of course,” Ben interrupted and brought Rey’s hand to his lips, “Us Solos are very sure of what we feel,” Rey blushed; did she understand what he meant, that he wasn’t really referring to himself and his father but her?

“What about you, Rey, is this the first time he’s confessed?” Rey turned to Jyn and shook her head.

“No, we,” She turned an even brighter shade of red, “We have actually…” Her voice trailed off and she squirmed. Jyn laughed.

“Alright, alright, I won’t tease. Next question, a lot of people are criticising your age gap and how incredibly fast you two seem to going, what are you going to say to those people?”

He expected that question. The general public opinion of their relationship was still a good amount of criticism particularly because Rey is only twenty-six and just really starting out when he’s already been in the industry for years.

“I don’t think we’re moving fast,” Rey said in a clear, almost hard tone, “We’re moving at our own pace and people should mind their own business. If they don’t have anything good to say and all that,”

His lip quirked up.

“Well said,” Jyn nodded approvingly, “Alright, this last question is for Ben. You mentioned in Rey’s livestream that she saved you, care to elaborate on that?”

“Ah, that.” He ran his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat, “Well, serious talk, I guess.” He glanced at Rey, drawing strength from her smile, “I was…in a very dark place. It’s not obvious of course but I think I have been for a very long time. It felt like I was drowning and everything was just dull and Rey…” He smiled a little, “Well, she’s a ray of sunshine and she saved me from all that anger and bitterness and hurt that was consuming me from the inside,”

“Well, if that wasn’t a confession of love, I don’t know what is.” She chuckled, “I’d love to talk some more about this but unfortunately I can already feel Baze glaring daggers at me for keeping you for too long,”

He looked behind Jyn to spot a scruffy-looking guy with a man-bun wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot.

“Thank you,” Rey said, “It was really enjoyable talking to you,”

Jyn laughed again, “You two should come visit Andor’s again. I’m sure Cassian would flip. And maybe we can schedule another interview,”

“Are you done yet?” Baze finally approached.

“Don’t mind him, he looks rough but the pictures he takes are _amazing_.” Jyn said calmly before turning a steely look at him, “Don’t be rude just because Chirrut isn’t here.” 

Baze crossed his arms and snorted.


	126. It Feels So Right, So Warm, So True

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I can put the actual photos but alas they're all in my head 😢 I hope I described it properly though. 
> 
> -X

The poses were very simple at first, standing poses, his hands on her waist, then they brought in a large wingback and made him sit on.

“Put one knee on the seat,” Baze told her, “Hold onto the crown like you’re putting it on him. Ben, steady her around the waist,” He snapped a few pictures, “Look into each other’s eyes, lean a little closer,” Rey felt their breaths mingle and flushed, “Good, good, just like that, Ben, lower one hand a bit, just over her thigh,”

“This doesn’t seem very innocent,” Phasma said drily. Rey glanced back and Baze snapped a photo.

“That’s a _great_ look princess,” Baze said, completely ignoring Phasma, “Alright, now I want you to sit on the throne and the king will kneel at next to the chair,”

She wasn’t exactly sure where Baze was coming from but she did what he asked anyway. Ben knelt on one knee next to her while someone fixed the crown on his head, “Now your highness give our lady a kiss on the hand,” Baze was really getting into this whole role-play thing, even going so far as calling them princess and king. Ben took her hand and pressed a kiss over her knuckles, “Alright, hold that position, tilt your head a little, princess and look at your partner,” The intensity in Ben’s eyes made her flush, “ _Beautiful,_ ”

Ben looked like an actual king even when kneeling, all broad-shoulders and wavy hair and eyes that made you want to submit. She tried not to bite her lip. He cocked his head a little and arched a brow.

“What?” His lip twitched up, “Like seeing me on my knees, do you, princess,”

She sucked in a breath and flushed.

“ _Perfect!”_ She stiffened when Baze said that, “That was great. Next we’ll have our king sit on the throne again and have our princess sit on him,”

“H-hold on a sec there,” Poe said, “Isn’t that a bit too much, we’re trying to be _wholesome_ ,”

Baze gave him a droll look, “I believe it was ‘innocent but still a little kinky’. I know how to be subtle,”

“I don’t know about this,” Poe frowned, “Rey, are you comfortable with that?” She was already on her way to actually sitting sideways on Ben’s lap when he asked, “Er, okay then.” Poe shifted. Was he worried about her?

“Your face is perfect,” Baze told her, “Just keep your eyes wide, look up a little with just your eyes, soften your lips. There we go, _sexy_ innocence. Alright, your highness give me a glare,” Baze looked taken aback, “Okay, maybe tone it down a little, hm, give me your cruelest smile,”

“Wait, we’re trying to make him _not_ cruel,” Hux interrupted. Only the three managers were allowed inside, “His image is already scary enough,”

Baze sighed, “That’s why we have the princess,” He explained, “Just let me do my work. I’m no Luke Skywalker but I know my shit,” Rey felt Ben shift and tighten his grip on her waist, “Oh, that’s a _gorgeous_ look,”

Ben looked angry, almost bitter. He glanced away from the camera and she touched his jaw lightly. Baze snapped away.

“It’s okay,” She said softly, and his shoulders relaxed a little, “My king,” He closed his eyes and his lip twitched up a little.

He sighed and looked at her, “I’m fine,”

Phasma cleared her throat and Rey sat up and flushed. She looked at her guiltily, “Sorry,” She squeaked and Phasma arched a brow.

“Alright, now, look here, Ben, just your eyes, and _bite._ ”

“What?” He asked, “Bite what?”

“Oh, are we vampires now?” Hux asked sardonically.

“Still a better love story than Twilight,” Poe whispered loudly.

“Just that area there between her neck and shoulder,” Baze continued his instruction, “And sneer a little, lift your lips so we can those chompers,” Rey shivered when she felt his teeth on her, “Hold that pose,”

Baze moved quickly, taking pictures in different angles. She tried not to laugh when he did some sort of contortionist move just to get the angle right.

He called for more props and another chair, ordering them about like a drill sergeant even though they’ll only really going to be using one or two pictures for the magazine.

“Alright, last one,” They were on a divan now. She was lying on top of Ben, his knees splayed out on either side of her and his cape falling off the seat itself, “Lean closer princess, glance up here at the camera and gimme a _‘this one is mine’_ look,”

“Um, I’m not sure how to do that,” Rey said and Baze sighed, “Is there another look I can do?”

“Hm, imagine someone, oh, imagine a woman coming in here to try to get your man, what look are you going to give her?” Rey scowled a little, having a hard time imagining, “Or if one of your managers tell you that you can’t see him again,” Her scowl deepened and Baze snapped the picture.

She felt Ben stir from under her and he shifted his hips a little. She flushed when she realised that he was hard, “Rey,” He whispered, “Stop moving so much,” His cheeks were red and he was glaring up at exposed pipes on the ceiling, “You smell like cum,”

Her cheeks flushed and she pushed up. He hissed and turned his glare to her. She shivered. It was the first time she’d actually seen him glare like this, like he was angry. He’d never been angry at her.

She froze.

“Oh, that’s a beautiful look,” She barely heard Baze as she was sucked into the intensity of Ben’s gaze.

“I don’t think we can work together like this for a long time,” He said softly so nobody else could hear, “There’s a limit to how much I can take with you squirming over me like this,”

“Alright, I think we’ve taken enough pictures,” Phasma said loudly and she jerked up, pulling her face away from him and ending up straddling him instead. She heard his suppressed groan and felt his hips jerked up. Phasma arched a brow at her and inclined her head, like she was telling her not to make it obvious that Ben Solo had popped a boner while in the middle of a photoshoot.

Rey flushed and shuffled off of him, making sure to keep the skirt of her dress covering his lap. He sat up and scratched the back of his neck.

“Alright guys,” Poe said with a huge smile, “We’ll take care of the rest, you two can go back to the dressing rooms and rest now,”

“Thank you,” Rey said with a smile, “And thank you, Baze, that was really enjoyable,”

Baze grinned and redid his topknot, “You’re a pleasure to work with, Rey.” He said, “You’re a beautiful subject,” He arched a brow at Ben’s glare, “You too, of course, Ben. You two are a beautiful couple,”

She grinned and grabbed Ben’s arm to pull him off the divan. She didn’t let go. Phasma glanced down at her skirt and nodded when she saw that covered what would be an embarrassing situation if noticed.


	127. I Know That I Had Sworn I'd Never Trust Anyone Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyric title: You Had Me At Hello by A Day To Remember (Thanks again to pagan_seijou for pointing me in their direction hehe; they're a great band especially in a wedding omg) 
> 
> -X

They weren’t allowed to see the draft of the interview or which of the photos was chosen. Phasma had sent the prints over to the penthouse and Ben had framed a few of them to put over the mantel of his rarely used fireplace.

Phasma also sent over a framed drawing of the two of them with a small dedication from Jyn. Apparently she was known as someone who drew the interviewees she liked during interviews. That one held a special place on Ben’s desk.

The picture she’d posted after their photoshoot also hyped up the release of the magazine. It was of course, a picture of the two of them. Her arms were around his shoulders and it was mostly just their faces but it was picked up by a lot of different websites and even opened up the question of whether or not she would be acting alongside Ben Solo someday.

Poe had told her not to answer those questions.

It didn’t help either that Ben had shared it with the caption _‘Endgame’_.

She didn’t even know he knew of that word.

“Rey,” She looked up from her perch on the floor. She’d always had a habit of sitting on the floor and writing on the coffee table. Their photoshoot had inspired a song out of her she’d been trying to fix it with a tune for the past week so she could show Poe, “Why don’t you move in with me?” He asked.

It wasn’t sudden, not really, but she was surprised either way.

She’d been staying in the penthouse with Ben for about two weeks now but she never once thought that she’d be here permanently. At least, not yet.

She thought of her small apartment where all her things are, things that are warm and cozy, that gave her comfort. It’d been her home for the past two and a half years.

He was looking at her expectantly and she frowned, “I don’t know,” She finally said and saw how his shoulders drooped a little.

“Oh.” He looked away, “I guess I was rushing things, huh?”

“I like staying with you,” She said, “But I like having my space too.” She stood and sat on the arm of the armchair he’d been occupying so she could give him a hug, “All my things are there and it was really the first home I’ve had since my mum passed.”

“I understand,” He leaned on her chest a little, “Then, if you decide to go back, can I go with you?”

She stilled and snorted back a laugh. He looked up sullenly, almost like a child. It was refreshing seeing this childish side of Ben and she loved how he’d opened up to her, letting down his guard and showing her things about himself that he doesn’t really show to anyone else.

“Wouldn’t you have to go to the office?”

He shrugged, “I can wake up earlier. And I won’t really have to yet, not until we’ve finalised the contract,” He’d accepted one of the three scripts he’d brought home. This time he’d be playing a dorky Jewish cop. She didn’t ask for much details but he’d said he might have to New York for the filming. She remembered his promise that they’d go together and she wondered if she’ll be able to take some time off too to visit him on set.

Maybe they can watch a play or an opera.

“You’re always welcome to stay with me,” She finally said, “Do you want to pop by a Walmart so we can make a spare key? I keep forgetting to give you one,”

“Okay,” She giggled at the pouty look he was giving her.

“What is it?” Did he want something?

“Nothing,” He mumbled and she giggled again. She leaned down and gave him a kiss, “Do you want to go on a date?”

“Where do you want to go?” She asked. Both Hux and Poe had told them to take the rest of the week off.

“Do you like records?”

“I like them well enough,” She said, “I never really bought any though. Habits,” Records weren’t really cheap and it’s not easy finding records that had minimal scratches.

“I used to collect them,” He said, “They should still be in the music room at mom’s house,”

“Are you going to restart your collection again?”

His lip twitched up and he finally smiled, “I already did, starting with your records,”

She flushed, “That’s only two,”

“There’s the blue one and the pink one too,” Ben said, “Those were a little harder to find but,” He shrugged.

“Wait, you mean the single?” He nodded, “Why did you get those?”

“My girlfriend is a great artist of course I’m going to want everything I can get my hands on,” He pulled her over the arm of the chair and onto his lap.

She squeaked and laughed, “I thought you wanted to go on a date?”

“Mm, in a bit,” He kissed her softly, “Thank you,”

“For what?”

“For being with me,” He sighed and held her tighter, “For not giving up on me,”

“What are you talking about,” She chuckled a little even if her heart ached for him. She bit his lower lip sharply, just enough for it to sting but not bleed, “You’re a good man, Ben Solo, and I love you.”

“I hope you always would,” He murmured and sighed before giving her a mischievous smile, “Alright, let’s go on a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: The movie mentioned here is Black Kkklansman; it's set in Colorado Springs but filmed in New York. It's a great movie!
> 
> -X


	128. I Feel More With Everyday That Goes By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine the stuff behind him are records. Also, I've personally never been to Amoeba (hence I watched a lot of videos to get a feel of the inside) but I would love to go there after this shitshow of a year (going on year 2). From what I understand they've moved to a new location in Hollywood blvd from their original store in Sunset blvd. 
> 
> -X

He’d worn a beanie. She was pretty sure people would still recognise his very distinct features. She herself recognised him even with half of his face covered.

And this was still Hollywood. Tourists were everywhere and they were stopped more than once for autographs and pictures. Amazingly though, Ben didn’t seem to mind so much. He’d smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and even told people to listen to her album on Spotify or watch her videos on YouTube.

She flushed.

They themselves acted like tourists, taking pictures in front of the Chinese Theatre and looking at the names on Walk of Fame.

“You’ll have one of these too,” Rey said and he snorted back a laugh, “What? You’re an amazing actor,”

“Eh, we’ll see.” He said and held her hand, “I don’t really need it.” They stopped by a Starbucks near Mel’s Drive-In, “I have you,”

“I’m not a star on the Walk of Fame,” She grinned and he pinched her cheek.

“You’re a star in my eyes,” He winked.

She flushed and giggled, “You’re so cheesy sometimes,”

They drank their coffee and took more pictures along on their way to Sunset Boulevard.

They walked up a set of stairs lined with records. There weren’t too many people in the large warehouse-style music store. She’d passed by it multiple times and even bought a few second-hand CDs on sale when she and Finn first moved to LA just so she could have something to make her apartment feel more like home. Amoeba Music really was a retro looking place from the outside.

She looked up at all the records displayed on the walls and felt a sense of longing and nostalgia, like she’d gone inside a time capsule of sorts. People from different walks of life lingered and browsed contentedly, some were even chatting with strangers as though they’ve known each other for years.

There was a sign by the counter declaring that everyone is welcome. It was a cheerful place, welcoming, with upbeat music blaring from the many speakers above them.

“Rey?” Ben was looking at her intently, “Are you okay?”

She grinned, “I’m great! This place is _huge._ Finn and I only ever bought sale items so we never really looked around too much,”

He looked relieved, “So, what are you going to look for?”

“I’m not sure yet, vinyl records are always cool. What do you think we’ll find?”

“Isn’t that the thrill of it, not knowing what you’ll find?” She beamed at him and for a moment he looked stricken, “You’re going to need a turntable first,”

“What kind do you suggest?”

“I mean, I plan on getting for the penthouse so would you like one for your apartment?”

She frowned a little as she thought, “What about those portable ones? The apartment’s pretty small so I won’t really have much space,”

“Gotcha, you okay to look around first? I’ll go find you a player,”

She grinned, “My hero,” He arched a brow and dropped a kiss to her forehead.

“Be good,”

“Yes, Daddy,”

He laughed.

She looked at the new arrivals for rock first. She could probably spend hours here given the chance. She pulled out an old 1969 UK Export Let It Be album and bit her lip. The record itself didn’t look too scratched up but she’d have to ask Ben about it later.

She took it with her as she continued browsing.

She almost squealed out loud when she saw a sealed 1989 Han and the Chewies record. Ben would’ve been eight years old at that time.

“Hey, you’re lucky,” He was wearing a button-down and slacks, “I don’t see a lot of those,”

“Oh,” Rey grimaced, did he want it? “Well, I’m getting it,” Alarm bells were ringing in her head and she shifted awkwardly. It was the same feeling she had when she’d first run away from one of her foster homes, like there was danger.

He laughed, “Of course you should, they’re a great band. But you don’t look old enough to have heard of them? Ah, but they’ve been really popular lately,” He must’ve noticed The Beatles album she was carrying, “Same with The Beatles. They’re more popular, of course so I wouldn’t really be surprised you’d take it.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,”

“Are you British by the way? Of course you are, your accent’s giving you away.” She grimaced, “Anyway, Han and The Chewies isn’t for everyone but recently they’ve become really popular because of that one actor. Apparently he’s the lead singer’s son, would you believe that?”

“Right,”

“Right? Everyone’s suddenly so interested.” He sighed, like it was such a drag that people were suddenly so interested in the band, “Anyway, are you going to pay for that soon, do you want to have a drink with me or something? We can discuss it some more,”

“No, thank you,” Rey said politely, “I have a boyfriend and I’m not done looking around,”

He scowled then and she flinched. He wasn’t terribly big but he looked like he worked out. She was sure she could fight back but she really didn’t want to make a scene.

What would the press think?

She felt his presence before she felt his arms wrap around her waist, “You find anything interesting?” Ben rumbled and pulled her to his chest, “I found a player you’d like,” He saw the record she was holding, “Oh, that’s a good one.”

“Oi,” She looked up at the man harassing her.

“Ah, I did say I had a boyfriend,” Rey said and watched how realisation slowly dawned onto the man’s face.

“You’re…”

“That actor,” She completed, “He was just telling me about your father,”

“Is he?” Ben chuckled, “Well, what can I say, my dad’s pretty talented.”

The man’s face darkened and he turned around quickly and left.

Rey breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you,” She said, “I didn’t want to make a scene,”

“You should’ve kicked him in the nuts,” Ben frowned at her, “But I’m sorry I left you for too long. I didn’t think you’d experience that here,”

“It can happen anywhere,” She shrugged and frowned, “I should’ve remembered to bring mace.”

“It’s because you’re pretty,” He sighed, “Some men just can’t seem to control themselves in front of pretty women. He’s probably trying to compensate for something.” She giggled, “But enough about that dickwad, do you want to keep looking?”

She nodded and they stood next to each in comfortable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mansplaining _noun_ the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronising.
> 
> Personally experienced this when looking for things that are not traditionally feminine. Why even
> 
> -X


	129. I've Never Seen A Smile That Can Light The Room Like Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!

Ben knew she’d love it the moment she saw it. The Canvas Victrola suitcase turntable was probably as basic as it gets but it at _least_ didn’t ruin records so much; plus, it was white and came with stickers, though he was sure she’d have loved the pink one more. Unfortunately it was out of stock. He could buy her one online but he wanted her to have one so she could fiddle around with it when they get home.

They’d ended up buying about six records each. He’d had to tell her to go look around some more but she insisted she was done. He’d made a mental note to bring her again some other time. It was more than enough that she shared an interest with him.

“I promised Ray here we’ll take a photo together and tag them,” Ben said. He motioned at the large, long-haired man at the counter, “Do you want to do it?”

Rey grinned, “Another Ray, huh? You don’t really post things so you should post it,”

“I’ll share yours.” He shrugged, “You’re the music person,”

She laughed and he couldn’t help but smile, “You’re Han Solo’s son,” He shrugged, “Alright, alright,” They approached the counter and Ray-at-the-counter grinned.

“Well, if it ain’t that little lady Rey Johnson,” He said, “My daughter went to your album launch,” Rey shook Ray’s hand. He handed them a large Amoeba Music sign and called for another person to take their photo using the store’s camera and Rey’s phone, “Thank you,”

“No, thank you! And thank you to your daughter too for the support,” Rey said a little shyly and Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulder. His phone buzzed. Rey had tagged him on Twitter and Instagram.

_Awesome date @amoebamusic with @BenSolo I had so much fun treasure hunting with you <3 Will post treasures soon <3 #AmoebaMusic #Vinyl #Records #TreasureHunting_

Ben smiled a little and reposted it. _I thought I was your treasure? @That_British_Girl #DateAtAmoeba #BestPlaceToGetRecords_

“You know how to use hashtags now?” Rey grinned up at him.

“I have a good teacher,” He winked and she laughed, “Thanks for the help,” He said and grabbed their things from the counter.

It was nearing nighttime. They walked back to the parking lot, “Where do you want to go next?”

“Walmart,” She said and he looked at her, surprised.

“Walmart?”

“Have you never been in a Walmart before?” She grinned up at him and his heart skipped a beat.

“Er, once, I think.” He said and shifted a little. He felt heat rise to his cheeks, “I usually order from Whole Foods,”

She snorted a little before laughing, “I figured, what with all the Amazon boxes you have in storage,”

He shrugged and looked for the nearest Walmart on the GPS, “What are we doing there?”

“Did you see what I ordered? It arrived earlier,” She grinned.

“I don’t have a habit of opening other people’s packages, sweet thing, and seeing as how you _love_ opening things, I was thinking of letting you open mine too. I hate opening things.”

The look she gave him took his breath away.

They’d bought groceries and she’d used a machine to make a spare key of her apartment. She handed it to him shyly.

“So what are we making for dinner?” He asked and she waved his question away.

“I’ll make it,” She said and smiled, “You just sit somewhere and look pretty,”

He arched a brow.

They’d gone back home to the penthouse and he watched her tear into the box that arrived earlier enthusiastically. What could it be for her to be so excited?

She pulled it out and grinned.

“An Instant Pot?” What the fuck is an Instant Pot?

“Not just any Instant Pot,” She giggled, “It’s Darth Vader,” He snorted and then laughed, “What? It’s cute,” She pouted, “I noticed you didn’t have one,”

“So, is that for me?”

“Mm, maybe. I’m not sure yet,”

He laughed again and pulled her around the waist, “Well, whatever, everything that I have and everything that I am, is all yours.” He gave her a smacking kiss and she sucked in a breath and flushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there _is_ a Darth Vader Instant Pot (also a BB-8 and an R2D2) on Amazon and it is sleek af. Would totally love to buy it but I already have an Instant Pot lol. It's super duper handy I love it so much. 
> 
> As for the Victrola, it is probably the most basic portable/suitcase type record player fit for the super chill or just-starting-out people. Audio-Technica is also pretty good but never, _never_ get a Crosley even if they're cute. 
> 
> -X


	130. If I Just Let Go I'll Be Set Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy by Linkin' Park
> 
> Linkin' Park is one of my favourite bands and also my biggest regret. I had the chance to watch their concert, twice actually, the first time I wasn't allowed to because I was like twelve. The second time I thought the tickets were expensive and I said, for sure I'll go the third time. Third time's the charm, right? That same year, Chester died. 
> 
> If ya'll are given the chance to watch something like a concert or something, take it.
> 
> -X

It was a Saturday when Leia had asked to meet with him for dinner. He and Rey have agreed to move back and forth between condos every Friday. This week they were at Rey’s.

“Mom’s asking to meet me for dinner,” He said with a frown, “Tomorrow,”

“Is that a problem?” She asked. She was in the kitchen, making them stew. It’d become rainy recently, and the wind blew so hard it was almost scary.

“No, but she doesn’t do things without a reason.” He frowned as he cut the carrots, “I don’t think she wants to have a regular dinner.” There was always a reason for Leia to seek him out. If she ran for politics she’d win, hands down.

“You can ask what it’s about?” He shrugged, “Maybe she really just wants to see you.” He didn’t want to ask truth be told. _I don’t like my mind right now._

He glanced at the Victrola sitting on the coffee table next to the little notebook she scribbled song lyrics on. _Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary._

“I didn’t know you liked Linkin’ Park.”

“Hm?” She was humming along, “They’re one of my favourites. You wouldn’t believe how comforting their songs were growing up,”

He supposed it was like how AC/DC and Nirvana were comforting to him. _Wish I could slow things down._ He wanted to stay in this moment with Rey, just standing in the kitchen together, doing something so fucking _domestic_ it shouldn’t even mean a lot. But it did. It meant so much to him to see her cooking alongside him.

He never saw his parents do that. They had a chef back then in Beverly Hills.

He hoped their children would never have to experience that.

“Rey?” She looked up at him, “You said you wanted kids, right?” She looked surprised with the question and his chest tightened a little. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked yet. _I wanna let go but there’s comfort in the panic,_ “In your livestream,”

“Oh,” She frowned a little, “I guess someday. At least two. Would that…” She hesitated a little, “Would that be a problem?” _And I drive myself crazy._

Was she scared too? Why was she hesitating? Thinking everything’s about me _._

“No,” He said a little too gruffly, “Of course not. I want kids too, someday.” She breathed a little sigh of relief. He didn’t want their kids to experience the same things he did. _Why is everything so heavy?_

“Is everything okay?” She stopped stirring the pot and covered it. _Holding on._

“When we…” Why was it so hard to say? She was just starting out and he was already in the middle of his career. He can’t hold her back with the thoughts of children, not yet. _To so much more than I can carry._

She took his hand and he could breathe again. He didn’t even realise he’d stopped breathing, “Ben?”

“When the time comes,” He forced himself to say, “I’ll retire.”

“Huh?” _I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down._

“When we have kids. I’ll stop acting,” She sucked in a breath.

“No!” He didn’t expect her to be angry, “I thought you liked acting?” _It’s not like I make the choice._

She pulled him to the couch and sat him down. Should she really leave the stew? _To let my mind stay so fucking messy._

“Ben, you can’t stop just because we have kids,”

“I don’t want our kids to go through what I did, Rey.” _I know I’m not the centre of the universe._

“They won’t have to,” She said, cupping his cheeks, “I’ll be around too,”

“You’ve just started your career,” _I know I’m not the centre of the universe._

“So? We don’t have to accept every job that comes our way, right?” _You keep spinning ‘round me just the same._

Would it really be okay for him to continue? _And I drive myself crazy._

“Your parents,” She sighed, “I can’t really say anything about that but your parents aren’t really normal. My mum was an ER nurse and she’s always really busy too. We weren’t rich either, but she always made sure to make time for me.” _Thinking everything’s about me._

He wasn’t sure if he was comforted by the fact that his parents valued their work more than their kid. _Why is everything so heavy?_

“Did this come about because your mum suddenly asked you to dinner?” She was smiling so sadly. He shouldn’t have brought it up. _If I just let go, I’d be set free._

He really should learn to let go and be happy with what he has at the moment. He looked at her, his Rey of Sunshine, shining so bright that he felt that he didn’t deserve to be sitting next to her, loving her like this.

She made him greedy for things he never really thought of wanting before. She made him dare to want things for himself, to be loved. Was it really okay?

He leaned forward to brush his lips against hers. Still so sweet. She was always so sweet. She sighed and kissed him back.

“Don’t worry,” She said, pushing his hair back from his face, “We’ll be okay as long as we’re together.”

Together.

She always seemed to understand him. Did she feel that too? How his loneliness called out to her?

“I do,” She said softly, “I feel it too.” She was lonely too, he could see it in her eyes, but he’d like to think his presence helped lessen it, even just a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I realised our Ben Solo seems to have mild depression and anxiety.
> 
> -X


	131. I'll Fuse It Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN DUN
> 
> Here we go! 
> 
> Song: Battle Symphony by Linkin' Park 
> 
> (Seriously, I hear some people actually don't like the album One More Light because it's so not like the older Linkin' Park songs but I think it's great and I was so happy to find a record of it. You bet your ass I bought it the moment I saw it no questions asked. I mean, bands are meant to evolve, you know?)
> 
> -X

It wasn’t like Leia to book a private room in a hotel’s restaurant. He was starting to regret declining Rey’s offer to go with him. He adjusted his tie and grimaced. _I got a long way to go._

As usual she wasn’t there yet. He stood by the window overlooking the Hollywood signage and waited. What could she want all of a sudden?

His phone rang, “Mom,”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, dear.” She said pleasantly, “Why don’t you order already? I hear the set menu is good and is enough to feed up to four people. You eat a lot, don’t you?” _I’ve been searching for an answer._

“Alright,” He hung up and called for the waitress so he could order for them. What could be so important? _Always just out of reach._

It took her another twenty minutes to arrive, just in time for their food to be served. She entered the room and smiled tentatively at him. _Sirens repeat._

“What is it?” He asked and leaned down to give her a customary kiss on the cheek. She was even wearing a dress, “Is there a special occasion or something?” It wasn’t Han’s death anniversary, it wasn’t any of their birthdays either, did she want to tellIhim something important? “You look nervous,”

She shifted, “Why don’t we sit down and talk?”

Anxiety prickled at the back of his neck, “Mother, what is it?” She pushed him to sit. Why was there three table settings? “Mom, what did you do?” _I’ve been searching for the courage._

“I’m so sorry, Ben.” She said with a look so sad it broke his heart.

“What the fuck did you do?” Terror gripped his chest; she wouldn’t, would she?

“I see you still don’t know how to control your language,” He froze and looked up at the man he never wanted to meet again, “Hello, Ben.” _To face my enemies._

Luke Skywalker always had a friendly air and non-threatening presence but Ben always felt like he was drowning whenever his uncle was around and the friendly exterior hid a coldness that only he seemed to feel. _I hear my battle symphony._

“What,” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. He gripped the knife; there were people watching even if it was a private room. If he left now, what would the rumours be? What would they say about his relationship with his mother this time? _All the world in front of me._

He was trapped and they knew it. _If my armour breaks._

“I’m sorry,” She said again. Luke sat next to her, “I know you’re angry.”

“If you know then why the fuck did you call me here?” _I’ll fuse it back together._

Luke frowned at him, “Don’t talk to your mother like that,”

“You have no right to tell me what to do,” He snapped, “I want nothing to do with you, you fucking bastard,” His head started buzzing. _Battle symphony._

Leia gasped, “Ben, he’s your uncle,”

He turned to glare at her and she flinched, “No. I only tolerate him because of you.”

“Ben,” She sighed, “I just want to talk, you two used to be so close.”

He couldn’t help but sneer. Close? Him and Luke Skywalker? What a joke.

“That’s not gonna happen,” He said and glared down at his plate.

Luke sighed and he wanted to punch him. Why did he always look down on him? “You should be nicer to your mother,” _They say that I don’t belong._

He let out a harsh laugh, “Nice? _I_ have to be nice? I’ve been nice this whole time. I’ve been _good_.” He grinned and Leia flinched again, “I told you then and I’m telling you again now. You’re not my father and I fucking hate you. Now, can I leave?” _Say that I should retreat._

“If you leave too soon the press will talk,” Luke said and he gritted his teeth. Again with the image and the reputation. That’s what fucked them all up in the first place. _That I’m marching to the rhythm._

But he sat back down anyway. _Of a lonesome defeat._

Because it was important to Leia.

Luke sighed again, “Ben,” He clenched his jaw and glared up his uncle through the curtain of his hair, “I’m sorry for what I said before but you wouldn’t have listened otherwise.” _No surrender, no illusions._

“Are you apologising or insulting me? I can’t really tell. Why don’t you choose one?” _I hear my battle symphony._

“You really don’t know how to tone down your sarcasm, huh?” Luke started putting food on Leia’s plate. She still hasn’t said anything, just watched them. _All the world in front of me._

“Don’t pretend to know me.” Should he eat something? His stomach roiled at the thought. He really should’ve brought Rey. _If my armour breaks._

“To be fair that new image you’re touting is pretty good,” Luke kept talking.

“What do you want?” He finally sighed and leaned back in his seat. He remembered all his training and all the method acting he’s done. If he viewed himself as another person, another character, could he disassociate from the situation? _I’ll fuse it back together._

He took a deep breath. Of course he could, he’s an actor. He reached over to get some food. It was like he was watching himself from the outside. It wasn’t new, not really, he’d just forgotten about it after all these years. _If I fall, get knocked down._

The meat tasted like ash but he forced himself to swallow, “You said you wanted to talk, mother.” He saw Leia flinch again, “So talk.” He glared up at Luke who was about to retort. _Pick myself up off the ground._

“Ben,” She started, “I know you and Luke don’t have a good relationship,” He arched a brow, “But he’s leaving again soon and you’ll be off to film and I don’t know if there’ll be another opportunity for you two to meet.” _When they turn down the lights._

“There _is_ a reason why we don’t meet,” Ben said drily and she frowned. _I hear my battle symphony._

“I don’t think there’s any use talking to him,” Luke said and Ben scowled.

“There never was, right? Because I never listen and I was always quick to anger and punch people,” Luke arched a brow, “Oh, don’t look at me like that, _uncle,_ you never _liked_ me.” _I’ll fuse it back together._

“Ben, that’s not true,” Leia said, frowning.

“No? Why don’t you ask him? Do you even know what he said? Oh wait, he probably gave you an abridged version of what happened. Well, let me tell you, it was a real eye-opener.”

“Ben,” Luke said sharply and Ben turned to glare at him. _And my eyes are wide awake._

“What? You think you can hurt me too, this time? Well, fuck you. I know I was a mistake,” Leia gasped, “You said that yourself, why the fuck do you think I cut everyone off?” He turned to his mother, “You should’ve aborted me,” She looked stricken, like he’d physically struck her, “Then we wouldn’t have this problem. Image? Reputation? Bullshit.” He glared at Luke again, “Do you have any idea how much I wanted to punch you that day?” Then, almost as fast as his anger flared, it fizzled out and he was suddenly so tired. He sighed, “But what was the point,” _Please just don’t give up on me._

“Ben, I had no idea,” Leia reached for him and he reeled back.

“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re the one who sent me there in the first place, why would I tell you? You were pissed as shit when I came back. You didn’t even ask,” He laughed mirthlessly, “None of you did. You just believed everything you wanted to. I get it, I was a troublesome kid.” He couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty for making Leia cry, “For the record that kid I beat up? He was a prick who assaulted this girl we were working with, he even broke her wrist, because I was _nice_ to her. Of course, I’m sure you wouldn’t know that either because how could a politician’s kid do something like that, right? Especially since he made sure the farm gets the proper permits and all that shit for the _trouble_.” _And my eyes are wide awake._

Luke scowled and Ben scowled right back, “I received nothing of that sort,” He said.

“Sure, whatever. Maybe it was because he’d let it out that Leia Organa and Han Solo had a crazy asshole son. Who knows?” _For my battle symphony._

“Look, kid, you’re getting out of line,”

“You have no right to call me that,” Ben said, “You’re not my father. My father’s dead.” _For my battle symphony,_ “Excuse me, I’ve lost my appetite.” He threw the table napkin on the table and shoved off the chair.

“Ben—,” Leia tried to stand and Luke stopped her. Of course.

He walked out, eyes blank and head held high. He had an image to maintain, after all. He couldn’t let anyone know how much his fused-together heart was breaking again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor Ben has finally snapped 😢 He really wasn't okay 😢


	132. When I Found You, I Found Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue Me by Marshmello ft. A Day To Remember (another really great recommendation by pagan_seijou) 
> 
> WARNING: #MinorSmut? #SmutThatIsNotLongLikeTheOthers #ComfortSex #MildSpice #TheyTalkAfter #NotForAlberto 
> 
> -X

Rey was reading on the couch. It was quiet, almost cold, without Ben. He seemed so nervous earlier so she’d offered to accompany him but he said it should be fine. It was just a dinner. She knew he and Leia were both trying. It wasn’t easy forming a relationship after being apart for a decade but she hoped everything would turn out for the better.

Ben deserved all the love in the world. He deserved to be happy. He’s given her so much. He said she saved him? She didn’t think so, not really, she thought it was more they saved each other, held on to one another to stay afloat in this wicked industry.

She didn’t even realise she was crying out for help, how lost she actually was.

Ben Solo was, and will always be, her hero.

And when he’d suddenly talked about children? It was like her heart wanted to burst out of her chest from all the love that swelled inside her.

He’d be a great father.

She flushed; should she really be thinking about that right now, when they’re not even together for that long, when they haven’t even discussed marriage? When _would_ be the right time to bring it up?

People always said you’d know when you meet your other half and she always doubted that, at least, until she smacked into him that first time. The moment their eyes met and introduced himself, it was like, she _knew_ that he’d be dangerous for her, that she’d love him with all her heart, more than a fan, more than a friend.

In his eyes, she found herself, she found wholeness.

Does he see himself too, in her eyes?

The lock jangled. Did Ben come home already? It hasn’t even been two hours since he left. She wondered if he missed her and smiled a little. The door opened and Ben came in.

“Ben! You’re back,” She grinned, “You should’ve texted me you’re on your way home, how was—,” Maybe it was the set of his shoulders or the way he smiled without it reaching his hurt-filled eyes. She dropped her book and stumbled out of her perch, “Ben, are you okay?” His arms went around her and she cupped his face between her hands, “What happened?”

He kissed her desperately, like a drowning man, and she gasped. Her back hit the wall she wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands were already pushing her fluffy robe off of her shoulders and moving onto her thin, spaghetti strap top.

She pulled away with another gasp, “Ben,” His mouth trailed down her neck, sucking and biting roughly, “Ben, wait,” He pulled away, eyes desperate and searching, lips wet and swollen; _what happened?_ His eyes looked like they were begging her not to ask, at least, not yet. She pushed his hair back and cupped his face again, “We should go to the bedroom,” She said softly and yelped when he reached down to sweep her off her feet.

He kissed her again, slower this time, more thoroughly, taking his time to explore her mouth. She didn’t even realise they’d arrived in her bedroom until he’d laid her down and crawled on top of her. His mouth clamped down on her nipple and her back arched. It was a good thing she wasn’t wearing a bra.

He bit and she yelped. He fingered the waistband of her shorts before pushing it down. She pulled at his tie and managed to pull it off but he swatted her hands away before she could unbutton his shirt.

Buttons flew in every direction as he tore it down impatiently. He unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants just low enough for his cock to spring out.

He pressed inside her and she gasped at the sharp stretch. He froze halfway and panted, shaking as he leaned down to suck on her neck. She gasped and arched, tightening around him. He hissed and pushed, slowly, his sucking turning into little nips and ending with a sharp, almost painful bite that left her wet and full and _breathless._ She raised her legs to lock them around his lower back, making him moan and reach even deeper inside her.

His teeth let go of her shoulder and the blood that rushed to the area gave it an almost pleasurable ache. It’d leave a really prominent mark come morning. He gasped and shuddered over her; she could feel his thighs shaking as they press tightly against the back of her legs.

Her hands tangled in his hair and tugged. His cock twitched deliciously inside her and he even let out a soft, gasping, whimper.

She flexed her hips and he shuddered a little before moving.

And move he did.

He pounded into her, fucking her like he was running away from something and all she could do was hold on and enjoy the ride.

She gasped and tightened around him. He moved faster and harder, trying to lose himself in her body and catching her lips in another desperate kiss. He gave a great shudder and buried his face against her neck.

He moaned as he came.

His shoulders were shaking.

She held him, brushing the tangled mess she’d made of his hair.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked; his breath fanned across her chest and she shivered a little.

“No, you never hurt me,” She tried to braid his hair, “Are you okay?”

He gave her a soft sigh and shivered when he slipped out of her, “I’m sorry.”

“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you want to tell me about it?”

“She brought him.”

She didn’t half to ask to know who ‘ _him'_ was, “Oh.” One thing she knew about Ben, was that he hated surprises. He was a man who always needed to have some idea of what to expect so he could formulate a plan.

Seeing Luke must’ve thrown him off badly.

“She said he was leaving soon so she wanted to talk.” He sighed again and the tension in his shoulders eased a little, “I don’t think she really meant any harm,” His arms tightened around her.

“Maybe she didn’t understand what happened,” She said calmly, trying not to let him know that inside, she was _seething_. Leia had always been good at knowing the proper time and place for things except with regards to her only son. How can she be so stupid? “So what happened? Did Luke finally apologise?”

He snorted, “You think? No. We ended up arguing and I left.” Her heart ached for him. Her mum didn’t have any siblings and she doesn’t really remember them ever arguing.She was lucky. In her previous foster homes there was always somebody fighting with someone, sometimes violently, “Do you think…” He sighed again, “Do you think the media would find out about it?”

She sighed a little. The more popular you are, the more trapped you become. Sometimes, stardom really _is_ a curse.

“I made her cry,”

“Well, they made you upset first by not warning you. Luke should’ve at _least_ told your mum to tell you first.”

“They know I won’t go if I knew,” Really, she _really_ wanted to give them a piece of her mind. How could they do this to him?

“It’s going to be okay,” She finally said with a sigh and held him tighter, because what else could she do?


	133. Lines In The Sand Only You Can Read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have been reading too much otome-isekai manhwa lately. (Y says same; would love some recommendations though).
> 
> -X

Rey had called Hux for him when he was sleeping and by noon, both Hux and Phasma were in Rey’s apartment.

Ben was still asleep.

“Lovely place,” Phasma said, eyeing the sunflower-in-a-box Ben had given her. Rey had placed it in one corner of her coffee table so she could look at it whenever she wrote or make her videos.

“Is he sick?” Hux asked, accepting the coffee she handed him, “He doesn’t usually skip work or sleep so late.”

“Well, it wasn’t like he had to be present in the meeting,” Phasma shrugged, “It’d do him good to rest every once in a while.”

“Yes, but it isn’t like him to skip meetings either.” Hux frowned, “What happened?”

“He had dinner with Leia,” She said; should she really be telling them? She glanced at the closed door of their room and sighed, “And she brought Luke.”

Hux gave out a colourful curse and she reeled back in shock.

“Well, no wonder.” Hux sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “His mother had no idea what really happened in the farm and I know how _arrogant_ that son of a bitch can be. I bet the situation got even worse,”

“Well, personally I don’t know the details but I know enough to know that Benjamin wouldn’t really be himself for the next couple of days. We should reschedule our meeting with the director,” Phasma said and Hux nodded, “I do hope things get settled before he has to start filming next month.”

Was it next month already? Rey’s heart pounded; was she ready for him to leave?

Ben stumbled out of the room and did a double take when he saw Hux and Phasma.

“You look like a speeding lorry smashed into you and ran you over twice,” Phasma said Rey covered her mouth to stop herself from gaping.

“Thanks,” Ben said drily, “You too.” His hair was still braided; she’d redone it while he was sleeping, “What are you doing here?”

“Rey called us to say that you wouldn’t be attending the meeting so we thought you were sick.” Hux said.

Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair only to stop when he realised that it was braided. He arched a brow at Rey who grinned.

“I’m fine, I don’t get sick.” He grunted and Hux arched a brow, “I just had another… _disagreement_ , with my uncle.” His eyes flashed a little in anger but it was quickly masked and tamped out. She really wished he could make peace with himself and let go. Luke was a big dick and she sincerely prayed that they’d never meet again.

Phasma sighed, “Please tell me you didn’t do anything rash,”

“Of course not,” He smiled sardonically, “That’d be very bad for my image,”

“I don’t know what scares me more, the fact that you just said that or the fact that you look like you’re ready to snap. Either way, I’ll keep an eye out in case we have some unruly press. The bigger question is, _are_ you going to meet your mother again anytime soon?” He grimaced at Phasma’s question, “Because honestly, I don’t think it’s a very good idea right now. Don’t you think so, Rey?”

Rey nodded.

“Well, since Rey works with Resistance I’m sure your mother will try to speak with her,” Hux said, “I do think you should have an honest conversation before we go to New York, at least.”

“Not now,” Ben said, “You guys hungry?”

Phasma crossed her arms and arched a brow, “I see you two have settled in quite well together,”

Ben blinked and then flushed. He looked at Rey from beneath his ridiculously long lashes and she laughed.

“Yes, we have.” She said, “We’re moving back to the penthouse again this Friday,”

“Why don’t you two just live together?” Hux asked.

“I already asked,” Ben said, “She rejected me. Again. Anyone want a ham sandwich?”

“Huh, I didn’t think anyone can reject Ben Solo twice,” Hux chuckled, “I’d like a sandwich please,”

“Phas?” She inclined her head; did she mean ‘yes’? “Rey? With extra cheese?”

Rey's smile widened, “Yes, please, Daddy,” Ben gave her a half-smile and one of his dimples popped out.

Hux choked and spat out his coffee.

Phasma cackled, “I see we were worried for nothing. You seem fine, should we expect you in the office tomorrow?”

“Speaking of,” Hux brought out a magazine from his bag, “This arrived this morning.” Baze’s portrait of them, the one with her kneeling on his throne and holding his face, was on the cover. Ben’s eyes looked almost murderous as he peered over her shoulder. Baze must’ve taken it that moment he mentioned Luke Skywalker.

_The Princess tames the Tyrant. An in-depth interview on the relationship between the Resistance princess and First Order’s tyrannical star._

“That sounds like a very bad B-movie,” She said.

“Sounds like one of those fan-fictions Rose likes to send,” Phasma corrected, “I should send her an advanced copy too and get all her writer friends going. Who knows what they’ll come up with,”

“Do you actually read the things she sends?” Hux’s brows shot up, “I swear if I didn’t love her I’d think she was a weirdo,”

“I’m pretty sure she’s a weirdo either way,” Ben said. He brought a plate of sandwiches with him and they all sat around the coffee table, with Phasma sitting primly on one armchair and Hux on the other.

“How in-depth is in-depth?” Ben asked, “And why am I a tyrant?”

“You _are_ kind of a freak at work,” Hux admitted, “And don’t forget how you almost made an intern piss himself when you asked for water, _while in character.”_

“I apologised.” Ben said with a frown.

“A large man in costume and a voice warbler apologising is more terrifying, I’d say,” Phasma said.

Rey giggled, “I would’ve loved to see that,”

“You should come visit the set if you have free time,” Hux said, “I’ll get you a pass,”

“I don’t know,” She glanced at Ben was staring intently at her, “Is that alright?”

“Of course,” He said, “I promised we’ll go watch a play,”

“Oh that would lovely exposure for both of you,” Phasma said and turned to Rey, “How is your new album going? Will you go on tour soon?”

“I’m not sure about a tour but I have like three songs written out. Ben’s helping me with some of the tunes,” Rey said, blushing a little.

Phasma arched a brow, “Is he now? Are we putting him on in as composer?”

“Phas,” Ben frowned and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “I didn’t do much,”

“I’d love it if I could,” Rey said and leaned in his arms.

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that though I’m sure First Order would want a cut of your sales,” Ben’s frown deepened.

“We can talk about that more in the future,” Hux said, almost like he knew Ben would rather not be mentioned than have First Order cut into her sales.

“Alright, we shall discuss it some other time.” Phasma sighed a little and Rey cleared her throat.

“I’ll get us some drinks. Sweet tea, okay?” She stood and then yelped when Ben pulled her back down again so he could give her kiss on the temple.

“I’ll get it,” He said and sauntered into the small kitchen.

“He’s become quite domesticated,” Phasma commented, “I do believe you owe me a hundred dollars,”

Hux rolled his eyes and brought his wallet out. He slipped her a hundred-dollar bill and she smiled smugly.

“What was the bet?” Rey asked.

“How long it would take for Ben to be _completely_ and _utterly_ wrapped around your little finger,” Phasma said with a cool smile and Rey flushed, “He said six months, I said three. Seeing as my guesstimate is closer, I win.”

“I can hear you, you know,” Ben said, bringing back a tray with their drinks. He handed Rey hers first before Hux’s and Phasma’s. Then he sat back down.

The four of them chatted about the article and how they’ve started hyping its release by posting sneak peek photos.

“Well, we must be off.” Phasma finally said, “Lunch break is over and we can’t stay long,”

They walked them out and she turned to look at Ben.

“How are you feeling?” She asked and he gave her a tight smile.

“I’m fine,” He said and she frowned a little, “Really,”

She didn’t believe him one bit.


	134. If Only You Had Been Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Tyrant by Disturbed 
> 
> Personally really like Disturbed heh. 
> 
> -X

They’d gone to work the next day like nothing happened. Ben looked put together as usual but judging by the the hollow look and the dark circles under his eyes, she knew it was still bothering him.

She steeled herself outside Leia’s office and knocked. She hoped Luke wasn’t there.

“Come in,” She heard her say. Should she really do this? Did she even have the right to? “Rey,” She didn’t look all too surprised, “Come in, have a seat. Would you like some tea?”

“No, thank you, I won’t take too much of your time,” Rey said, grimacing a little. Her heart was pounding.

“How is he?” She asked.

“Truthfully, he’s very hurt.” Leia sighed and she clenched her fists, “He doesn’t like surprises and anything to do with Luke is a major trigger,”

“I had no idea how bad it was,” She admitted and sat on her chair, “I just wanted them to get along,”

“You should have warned him,” She remembered the look on Ben’s face when he’d just come home and her heart ached, “He was so happy to have reconciled with you,” Leia flinched, “And he _just_ recently, _finally_ opened his dad’s envelope and made peace with his death. He was finally starting to be happy,”

“I think we have you to thank for, for that,” Leia said and Rey shook her head.

“Ben kept so many things to himself and he always said he was fine but I know he’s not. He’s trying so hard,” She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall; she can’t cry in front of her, not when she’s trying to say how hurt Ben was and how angry she was at her. To hell with her being her boss, “There’s so much _trauma_ that he’s kept inside of him, how could you?” Leia’s lips thinned and quivered a little, “He’s been working so hard not to tarnish your reputations for _years_. You know what he told me?” Her voice had risen but she didn’t care, “He said if we have kids he’d _retire,_ do you know how he looked?” It broke her heart to see it.

_Leia sighed again and didn’t look at her, “I know we’ve been awful parents to him,”_

_“No!_ This isn’t about you!” Rey wondered briefly if anyone could hear her outside, “This is about _Ben_. Can’t you at least try to understand him? He’s never going to forgive Luke who doesn’t even seem to regret what he did!” She started sniffling and cursed herself a little.

“Rey,”

“No, you don’t understand,” Her voice cracked, “He didn’t want our kids to feel like he did because he felt that he wasn’t as important as your image!”

“That’s not true,” Leia had the audacity to actually look hurt, “Of course we tried,”

“Did you _ever_ make him feel like he was more important? Because it doesn’t seem like it.” She turned and stomped out of the office before she made things even worse.

“Oh, hey, sunshine,” Poe frowned at her, “What’s up?” She grabbed his arm and dragged him along, “W-wait,” She didn’t stop and he shook her off, “Geez, sunshine, I can walk. Where are we going?”

“Coffee,” She mumbled and he nodded sagely. He flung his arm around her shoulders.

“So, what can _Papi_ Poe do for you?” She cringed and he laughed, “Okay, maybe not that or Daddy Solo would kill me.”

They walked to the coffee shop nearby and Poe went to get them drinks.

“I screamed at Leia,” She said when he handed her her macchiato. She cupped the mug with both hands. She sighed.

“I’m sure you have a reason for that,” Poe said, “Is it Solo?” She nodded and he sighed, “Of course, it is. What happened?”

“She let Luke meet him,”

“Oh,” He cleared his throat, “I’m not sure what happened to them, really, but even _I_ know it’s a touchy subject. Do you want me to talk to her?”

“Would that help?”

He shrugged, “Who knows; I know she’s feeling guilty about not giving Solo a childhood so maybe I can talk her into putting aside that pride of hers and talking to him,”

“Thank you.”

“You’re my friend, sunshine, and even if he denies it, I think of him as a brother.”

She smiled a little.


	135. Now The Damage Is Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually contemplated using 'Have we forgot it's your blood inside of my veins' as the title. 
> 
> Also yay for double chapters! 
> 
> -X

His schedule’s going to be packed. He needed to take a course on accents, practice shooting a gun again, learn about how people moved in the 70s _and_ have a crash course on the book the movie’s based on, as well as the intricacies of the Ku Klux Klan itself.

Just as well, it’d at least keep his mind off of his mother and uncle.

Of course that would mean less time with Rey.

Hopefully she’d agree to go with him to New York, or at the very least visit. She can bring her guitar and write her songs while he’s at work. She didn’t show him all her work though so he _was_ curious about that.

“What are your plans for Valentines’?” Hux asked and he stilled. They’d just ended their meeting and was just about to go home, “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Damn it,”

“Do you need help getting flowers? A reservation?” Hux arched a brow, “I’m taking Rose to Vespertine,”

“I’ll call Providence, maybe I can still get a reservation.”

“Will you two really be full with that?”

“I’ll order the whole damn menu,” Ben scowled and Hux laughed.

“Right, that sounds more like you,” He froze and Ben followed his gaze.

“Son of a bitch.” Ben muttered.

“That’s your grandmother you’re talking about, you know.” Luke drawled and Ben scowled.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He clenched his fists.

“Shouldn’t you filter your language while you’re out in public?”

“This is the First Order lobby, not exactly a public space.” Ben crossed his arms and clenched his jaw.

“Mr. Skywalker,” Hux interrupted, “I’m sure you have a purpose for coming here but I don’t think now is the time or place,” He glanced at Ben, “Should we, maybe, move into a meeting or something? Ben?”

Ben didn’t want to. If he could he’d never want to see or hear about Luke Skywalker ever again. He already said everything he needed to say, all that’s left is to physically assault him.

It’s been too long for there to be a resolution to their conflict. The damage was done and the scars had set.

He couldn’t run from this anymore.

He grunted and followed Hux to an empty room.

“What do you want?” He asked once they were inside.

“Did you know your girlfriend scolded Leia?” Luke asked and chuckled, “Early this morning,”

She did? His heart fluttered a little.

“Rey’s a good egg,”

“We’re not here to talk about Rey, are we?” He didn’t like hearing Rey’s name coming from this bastard’s lips, “Get to the point.”

Luke sighed and for a moment he looked so _old,_ “I had some time to reflect,” Ben snorted, _some_ time? “And I admit that I was wrong.”

“Wow,” Ben drawled, “The great Luke Skywalker is admitting that he was wrong. What exactly did you do that was so wrong, oh great sage?”

Luke scowled, “If you stop being sarcastic for a minute you’ll know I’m trying to apologise,”

“And I won’t accept it.” He crossed his arms again.

“At the time I really thought I was doing what’s best,” Luke sighed and scratched the back of his neck. The familiar action was not lost on Ben and he sneered a little.

“Best for who, exactly? It wasn’t for me, that’s for damn sure.”

“Look, kid.” Ben’s scowl deepened, “Your mother was working hard to make sure her company succeeded,”

“Yes, yes, we’ve all heard this before. The secret kid can’t be violent because her being a woman was already a problem, but a woman who can’t even control her own kid? What would the investors say. Is that all? You’re beginning to sound like a broken record,”

He could feel Hux watching him intently.

“I was too harsh,” Luke finally said, “I didn’t mean those,”

“Which one, the part where you said that I was a mistake and she should’ve gotten rid of me,” Luke flinched, “Or the part where you said I’d be my parents’ downfall? Oh, maybe you meant the part where you said I’d end up dead in a ditch because I can’t control my temper and nobody would care.”

Hux looked surprised; he never told him exactly what was said. Luke sighed again, “Did I say those?” Ben scowled, “I’m sorry,”

“The axe forgets but the tree remembers,” Ben said, “Isn’t that how the saying goes? But I guess I have to thank you, too,” He sneered a little, “I learned what not to do as a parent.”

“Ben—,”

“I need to go pick up Rey. Hux, please?” Hux inclined his head.

“I’ll take care of it.” Hux said, “Drive safe. Say ‘hi’ to Rey for me.” Hux said, “Mr. Skywalker, if you please,”

Luke glanced back at Ben, “This isn’t over, kid.”

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is angry 🥺 and Hux is such a good buddy ❤️ 
> 
> -X


	136. With These Wounds Cut So Deep In My Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister A ended up reading Chapter 133-ish and thought that that was the start (she also found a typo which I have fixed). Our conversation went as follows:
> 
> A: IDK these characters who d heck is leia and Ben and Rey? Are they gay or something?  
> X: Leia is ben's mom. Rey is a girl.
> 
> End.
> 
> And so, I have come to the conclusion that my next fic will have a 'Rey is a girl?!' moment. *cue in Kevin is a Girl scene from UP*
> 
> -X

Ben was quiet throughout their drive. Even the kiss he’d given her when he picked her up seemed more obligatory than anything. Did something happen again?

“How was work?” She asked, “Did anything interesting happen?” He doesn’t really text much during work hours save for the occasional, _this is boring_ and _I miss you_. She knew how serious he gets while working though so she didn’t mind. He grunted, “Bad day?”

“I heard you scolded my mother,” He rumbled and she felt heat rise to her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, that was out of line,” She said, “I shouldn’t have done that,”

His lip twitched up and he chuckled. He took her hand and squeezed briefly before going back to the gear lever, “Thank you,” He said, his voice soft and deep and thick.

“How did you know? Did she call you?”

He shook his head, “Luke.”

“ _Luke_ did?” She scowled. Leia told _Luke_ but not Ben? She should’ve apologised to Ben!

“He…came to the office.”

“What?” She turned to him, “Why? What did he say?”

“Can we talk about this at home? Please?” He gave her a tight smile and she nodded.

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s not your fault, sweet thing. If anything I should thank you for staying with me after all this shit,”

“Of course I would,” She frowned, “I love you,”

His lip twitched up again and for a moment she thought he looked relieved, “I love you, too.” He reached to squeeze her hand again.

They don’t fit in her tub and he’d fussed when she said she wanted to give him a bath.

“I’m not a kid,” He said, laughing a little.

“I know you’re not,” She said and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “But Daddy had a long day and I just wanted to help,” She looked up at him and pouted a little and he’d laughed again and agreed.

And that was how she ended up standing behind him while he soaked in the obviously-too-small clawfoot.

“Come with me to New York,” He rumbled, “I’ll rent an apartment,”

“I can’t stay there while you’re filming,” She said as she massaged the shampoo into his hair, “What will the producers say?”

“I’ll get permission,” He blinked up lazily, “You won’t start recording soon, would you?”

“No, but I don’t want to distract you, either.”

“You won’t,”

“How about I visit?” He frowned, “And stay a while? I do have to work too.”

He sighed, “Okay.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened today?” His expression darkened and he closed his eyes.

“Not really.” He grumbled, “I just want to forget it happened.”

“You shouldn’t just push it away. It’s okay to be upset.”

“He apologised. I didn’t accept it.”

“You don’t have to accept it,” It was a start, at least, “You have every right to be angry.”

He sighed and his face tightened in apparent distaste, “I hate him.”

“That’s understandable,” She hated him too for what he did to her Ben.

“I just…” He sighed again, “I’m so tired.”

She sighed too and wrapped her arms around him, “It’s okay to give up. You’ve carried this for so long, maybe it’s time to put it down.”

He let out a shuddering sigh and gripped her arm.

They stayed like that until the water grew cold and her knees grew numb.


	137. Can We Become Whole?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have realised that this is very Ben-centric recently but what can you do; he is in the process of healing and that is...not easy.
> 
> Also, yay for 2 chapters!
> 
> -X

Ben told her his schedule. He always wanted to bring her to work every morning but after a few days they figured that they should go separately since his meetings sometimes extended all the way up until evening so he couldn’t bring her home like he wanted. So she started bringing her car again.

They’d moved back to the penthouse again and this time she brought her car too.

Some nights Ben came home so late she was already in bed. She’d feel him sliding in next to her and holding her close.

They didn’t talk about Luke or Leia again after that night. He looked better and she knew he was trying to keep his mind off of them, that he was trying to let go of all the anger and pain he’d held onto for the past fifteen years.

She wished he’d let her help him, even just a little.

The bell rang and she frowned. Were they expecting someone?

She looked through the eyehole and gasped when she saw who it was. What was Leia doing here? _How_ did she get past the lobby?

She hesitated. Should she let her in? She rang the bell again and Rey cringed, looking at what she was wearing; Ben’s old Stanford t-shirt and a ratty pair of shorts. Would she be able to run into the room to change?

The bell rang again and she sighed.

She opened the door and forced a smile, “Leia, hi. What are you doing here so late?”She’d lost weight, “Ben isn’t home yet,” She hesitated a little, “Would you…like to come in?”

Leia gave her a tired smile, “Thank you,”

“Would you like some coffee or tea? Or wine? I think we have some in stock.”

“Tea would be lovely, dear.” She said. She sat on the armchair stiffly.

Rey popped into the kitchen and sent Ben a quick text telling him that Leia was there. He replied just as quickly that he’ll be home soon and to please not leave him alone with his mother.

Her heart ached.

He was trying so hard to be okay.

She returned with the mugs, “Ben’ll be home soon,” She said, sitting on the couch primly.

“How is he?” She asked, taking a small sip, “I heard Luke went to see him.”

Rey grimaced, “He’s…okay,” She said, “He’s trying,” She’d purposely made it sound vague; she wasn’t really sure what to tell Leia. What else could she say?

“I hear he’s accepted a role,”

“Yes, he’ll be going to film soon.” It’ll take about four and a half months. He came in a bit late so he had a lot of prep-work he needed to do. Leia nodded and looked around listlessly. She eyed the framed photos on the mantel and smiled a little.

“You two look lovely,” She said, “I’m glad he has you with him.”

“Um, thank you,” She shifted in her seat, “Leia, I’m sorry I shouted at you that day,” Leia looked at her with surprise, “But I don’t regret it.”

“No,” She sighed, “You’re right. I was very selfish and greedy. I shouldn’t have rushed him like that. In the end I was only thinking of myself again.”

Rey’s phone buzzed and she saw Ben’s message that he was coming up. She told Leia who stiffened. The door opened and Rey smiled a little.

“Welcome home,” She said, jumping up to greet him with a hug and a kiss. He sighed a little and held her longer than he usually did. She figured he’s trying to get courage to face his mother.

Leia had stood up too and smiled tentatively.

Ben kept his arm around Rey’s shoulders, “Mom,” He said and loosened his tie, “It’s late.”

She could feel the tension running down his back,

“I know,” Leia said, “But I didn’t think I’d be able to see you before you leave for filming,”

“I guess you heard,” He sighed and they moved to sit on the couch. Rey asked if he wanted a drink and he shook his head, instead taking a sip from her mug of tea.

“Of course,” Leia scowled a little, “Even when we weren’t in contact I still followed your career,” Then her expression softened and turned melancholic, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Ben didn’t speak for a long moment and Rey took his hand. He squeezed tightly.

“I,” He paused, “I’m not sure if I can forgive you for _that_ surprise but,” He glanced at Rey who gave him a little encouraging smile, “If you don’t do anything like that again, I won’t…stay angry, I guess. I mean, you’re still my mother and…” Leia let out an audible sniffle and Ben flinched, “Don’t cry, _please_.”

She covered her face, “I’m sorry,” She said again, “I just wanted to make things better.” Ben flinched again.

“It’s too late to be a family _now_.” He said with a sigh, “But of course I’ll still treat you like my mother,”

“That’s all I can hope for,” She said and wiped her eyes discreetly. She gave him a watery smile, “Thank you and,” She swallowed hard, “I’m sorry for not being there for you.”

Ben’s hand tightened around Rey’s again and she squeezed back, “Let the past die,” Ben said softly and Rey couldn’t help but smile.

Leia laughed a little too, “Kill it if you have to,” She continued, “I _did_ watch it too.”

Ben looked flustered, “I didn’t.” He muttered.

“Oh, I watched all your movies, dear. I think you did wonderfully.” She chuckled again, “I suppose I should go now. Thank you for sparing me your time,”

Ben jumped up when she stood and brought Rey up with him, “Do you have a ride or…”

Leia smiled, “I brought a driver, don’t worry.” She patted his arm awkwardly, “Thank you for the tea, Rey.”

Rey smiled and together they walked Leia to the door.

Ben sighed heavily and slumped against her the moment the door closed. She felt his heart pounding even through the thick layers of his clothes.

“I’m so proud of you,” She said softly and patted his back.


	138. Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney 
> 
> I wanted to do a double today but I couldn't finish on time 😢 
> 
> -X

Valentines’ Day.

Ben had to work.

He left early in the morning, even before she had time to properly wake up. She pouted a little and buried her face in the sheets. Her body ached and she stretched a little, counting out the new marks she’d have to hide if she had to go out.

She smiled. One thing was for sure, Ben was as insatiable as always. Would he come home early today?

Poe sent her a picture of the magazine and told her to hype it up some more online. Not that it needed any more hyping up; Phasma said that there was already a lot of interest in their story. She did what he asked though.

It was only after she’d had her coffee that she noticed the large box with an equally large ribbon sitting on the coffee table next to her notes. She frowned and approached it carefully.

Rey’s name was written on the card. She recognised Ben’s blocky script almost immediately.

 _‘Pick you up at 7’_ It read, _‘Wear this. Love you.’_ He signed it _‘Ben’_ and she bit her lip to stop herself from squealing.

So he had something planned after all? She opened it and removed the delicate tissue covering the sparkling silver long-sleeved dress.

She gasped. There was a pair of silver heels at the bottom. How much did this cost, exactly? Another note fell out.

 _‘Don’t think about the price; I’m rich. I can afford it.’_ It said and she barked out an inelegant laugh. That _does_ sound like something he’d say.

He’d become a lot more cheerful after he’d made up with Leia though things were still a little awkward between them. She arranged the clothes and the shoes in the box and took a picture.

_Where are you taking me @BenSolo #ValentinesDate_

Recently her online postings had started revolving around her life with Ben though she tried not to post too many details. He’d even appeared in some of her other videos although he’s yet to sing another duet with her. Some people are catching on that they’re living together and more pictures of them are appearing. Usually when they go for a coffee run or buy groceries. The hype over their relationship still hasn’t died down and the timely release of the magazine only added more fuel to the fire.

Rose had been sending more fan-art as an excuse to see what kind of wedding dress would look good on her. She should be looking for a wedding dress for _herself_ and not Rey. She and Ben had never even discussed marriage yet. Honestly, with everything that happened, it’s hard to believe that they’ve only been together for just a little over a month and a half. For a moment she felt like ice was running through her veins. What if this was just the honeymoon phase and once its fizzled out, they’d grow apart?

Her phone buzzed; he’d replied.

_That’s a secret, baby girl_.

She flushed. It was already getting retweeted; _why_ did he say that in public?

_OMG #DaddySolo really said that! @That_British_Girl you’re so lucky! #Reylo #DaddyAndBaby #PerfectPair_

_No @BenSolo is luckier to have our princess @That_British_Girl! You better take care of her! #BabyGirlRey #Reylo4Eva #Reylo_

Can they really be together forever?

She still had a lot of time before 7pm. She tucked the cards in her notebook. It’d be the first Valentines where she actually had a date with someone other than Ben and Jerry. She giggled; then again, he’s still a Ben.

She brought the box in the room with her, hung the dress up and resisted the urge to call and ask him where they were going.

She was ready by six-thirty. She’d curled her hair and left it flowing over her shoulders. The dress sparkled with each movement and the sleeves flared out a little before cinching at her wrists. She didn’t usually wear accessories so she opted to wear her mum’s simple diamond studs.

The bell rang and she frowned.

She padded towards the door barefoot, leaving her heels by the couch.

There was a whole lot of lavender and she frowned, opening the door.

Ben’s head popped up from above the gigantic bouquet of lavender roses he was holding. He grinned.

“What?” She blinked and snorted back a laugh, “What are you doing?”

“I got you flowers,” He said, looking so proud of himself. There was some petals sticking on his hair.

“I can see that,” She bit her lip and laughed again, “Why so many?”

He stepped in and leaned down to give her a kiss. The paper wrapped around the flowers crackled, “I thought you liked flowers?”

She followed him to the kitchen where he produced a vase she’d never seen before, “I do, they’re very lovely but also, it’s bigger than me.”

“Naw,” She smiled when the accent he’d been practicing for the role slipped out, “I’d say it’s about half your size, sweet thing,” She grinned when he fussed over in while putting in the vase, “You look great,”

She arched a brow, still smiling, “Isn’t that why you bought this dress?”

“‘Course not,” His hands slipped around her waist, brushing against the bare skin of her back, “I just thought you might like it,” One hand trailed up her back slowly and she shivered and arched away from his ticklish touch, “Of course, I _did_ imagine taking it off of you,” He leaned down again to catch her lips and pulled her up against him.

She pulled away and giggled, “Ben, wouldn’t we be late?”

“No,” He rumbled and nipped her ear, “It’s near.”

“Wanna tell me where we’re going?”

“I told you it’s a surprise,” He said and led her to the couch, “Sit down,” She did. He knelt and for a moment her stomach flipped. He arched a brow and took her shoe.

She turned an even brighter shade of red when he slipped her shoe on her foot, “I’m surprised you know my size,” She said, shivering a little. She tried not to flinch when his fingers brushed the side of her foot.

“I asked Dameron,” He said, “Just to be sure,” He flashed her another dimply smile. He put on her other shoe for her and helped her up. With her heels, she reached just past his chin, “Let’s go,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference for dress:
> 
> She is gorgeous. 
> 
> Lavender roses mean enchantment and love at first sight; it's one of the rarest colour roses available.
> 
> Also she definitely thought he was going to propose for a split second there. 
> 
> -X


	139. Maybe I'm a Man and Maybe I'm a Lonely Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to separate this into 2 but then it'd be too short and awkward sooo there's a POV shift in the middle :)
> 
> Providence LA is a 2 star Michelin restaurant. I've never eaten there _but_ my relative (the same one I had dinner with in Hatchet Hall) says it's not bad and worth the $$$ because of the ambiance. Personally I don't get full with tasting menus but the experience _is_ very lovely and the food is well-presented (beautiful, really) and pretty tasty. Just really not enough because I like to eat.
> 
> -X

Providence was less than five minutes away from the penthouse. On the outside it looked very much like a large, modern house with its wooden panels. He thought Rey might like the sustainability credo, if not the price. In any case, she wouldn’t even see the menu until maybe _after_ their date if she decides to look the restaurant up.

Since he’s already ordered two of everything on the menu.

“You don’t have any allergies, do you?” He asked suddenly and she shook her head.

“I don’t think I have time to _have_ allergies given my background,” She grinned but there was a lingering sadness in her eyes. He never had to experience what she did and he swore he’ll make sure that she never did again.

He’ll give her everything.

They were escorted to the table, not without some whispers and subtle pictures, but he didn’t mind. The world needed to know how beautiful his Rey is. Things settled down quickly and it was quiet again.

Their food came out almost immediately and she must’ve noticed that other people didn’t exactly have the same amount of food as they did.

“Ben, did you—,”

“Try the scallop,” He interrupted before she could ask, “I hear it’s really good.” She arched a brow and he gave her an innocent smile, “I didn’t think you’d want wine so I hope juice is fine,”

He could see the emotions playing out on her face. In the end she sighed and then giggled, “Okay, I won’t ask.” She finally said and he gave her a smile that he knew would make her flustered.

“Are you going to take pictures?”

“Right!” He arched a brow and she flushed, “I forgot but now that I think about it they almost look too pretty to eat.” She frowned a little and took a few pictures, “What _is_ that?” She pointed at the beige bowl with the yellow flowers and salmon roe, “That orange, brown thing?”

“Sea urchin,” He said, “Never actually had it but I hear it’s pretty good once you get over the squishiness,”

“That’s interesting,” She poked it a little before scooping up a small piece, “Honestly, I’ll probably eat anything at least once.” He saw the way her eyes lit up when she tried it.

“Good?”

“It’s like,” Nothing made her eyes sparkle like that more than food, “Creamy? And it melts in your mouth?” He tried it too. Her face was bright with anticipation, “Well?”

“It’s good,” He said, “Hux said Rose made a pasta dish of some sort with it. We can try making it sometime,”

“That sounds great!” His heart fluttered at the smile she gave him.

They talked about work, her songs, everything and nothing, really. If someone were to ask him what exactly they talked about, he wouldn’t be able to answer. All he knew was that her smile shone the brightest as she spoke and ate and giggled.

He’d do anything to keep her that way.

He’d actually contemplated proposing to her but he was glad that he decided against it. He didn’t want to surprise her and scare her off like that. He’ll be satisfied with this for now.

They’d lapsed into a comfortable silence.

“Is there anything else you want to order? Which one did you like the most?” He asked and she shook her head.

“It’s really more than enough,” She said, “It’s, a lot?”

He arched a brow, “I’m pretty sure you can eat triple the amount of food here right now,”

She sniffed and lifted her nose a bit, “I _do_ have to act the lady sometimes, you know. How else would I look the part of Ben Solo’s girlfriend?”

 _What about the part of Ben Solo’s wife?_ “Just be your usual gluttonous self,” He winked and she faked insult.

“If I grow big and round you’re going to have to take responsibility for that,”

“Don’t worry, if I can’t carry you, I can still roll you,”

She snorted and choked a little before laughing, “You are so _bad_ ,”

“You love me anyway,”

“I do, _so much_.” Her laugh was contagious.

He’d never felt more at ease than he did with her.

—

Rey scarfed down the desserts. She really loved desserts. They’re special, magical food items that you can and _will_ eat even after you’re full. Growing up, desserts weren’t very common in the Johnson household. Her mum always made sure there was cake for her birthday but delicate, melt-in-your-mouth mousse and fancy macarons were not something she’d seen often. She’d never even heard of, nor seen a French macaron until she’d moved to LA. She _did_ buy one the moment she saw it.

“Should I order more?” He asked.

She shook her head, “You spoil me,”

“Isn’t that the point?” He did the eyebrow twitch that he does when he was amused, “Pretty sure the way to your heart is through your stomach,”

“Sh, that’s a secret,” She said, pressing a finger to his lips. He smiled mischievously and nipped, “You know,” She licked the side of her lip and watched his eyes grow dark, “I’ve never been on a proper Valentines Date before,”

“Really? No cute college boyfriend?”

She chuckled, “I wasn’t interested and people thought I was dating Finn. Pretty sure he doesn’t count as a Valentines date especially if all we do is order take out, rent a movie and binge on ice cream.”

“That sounds fun. We can do that too, next time.” Her heart skipped a beat and she smiled.

“Really?”

He shrugged, “Why not? You’re my girlfriend, Rey. Shouldn’t I want to spend as much time as I can with you?” He arched a brow and gave her a small half-smile, “And it seems like seeing me doing domestic things gets you going,”

She sucked in a breath and flushed, “T-that’s not true!” She stammered, “I just like watching you,”

“Oh, so you’re a stalker after all?” His brow rose up higher and his smile widened, “Are you sure you didn’t follow me around before we actually met?”

“Of course not!” She sat up straight, “I just watched your movies. You’re _really_ hot in them,”

This time he laughed, “Only in the movies?”

She felt her cheeks grow even hotter, “Well, you’re hot anywhere,”

“Hm, so what did you like other than my voice?” His voice dropped an octave and she shivered.

She thought for a moment, “Well, I liked how you looked but when we met I…” It was his eyes.

Definitely, the eyes.

“You…?” He arched a brow and she cleared her throat.

“What about you, why did you ask me out?”

“I asked first,”

“But I already answered a lot of questions.”

“Are we doing twenty questions now?” He smiled wryly and offered her a spoonful of sorbet, “I liked the way you laughed,” He said, “In your videos.” She let him feed her.

“How I laughed?”

“Yeah,” He ate a spoonful as well and placed the spoon back on the table before pushing her hair back behind her ear, “You always laughed and smiled so genuinely even though your eyes looked so sad,” His thumb brushed over her cheekbone lightly, “It was inspiring.”

She looked down, “I-I didn’t think anyone would notice,” She said, “I made those videos to cheer people up,”

“Well, it worked on me, didn’t it?”

She couldn’t look him in the eye, “Your sorbet is melting,”

“Unfortunate that we can’t take it home. If we could I would lick it off of you,” He said without a moment's hesitation and she squirmed.

He laughed.


	140. Just One Look Into Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late because I finished late (sad) 
> 
> Some teasing; no smut 
> 
> Song: Beautiful by HIM
> 
> -X

They agreed to have coffee at home. Ben’s hand was tracing circles up and down her spine while they waited for the elevator to arrive at their floor. She shivered.

She could still imagine him licking melted sorbet off of her; would that work with juice? Or maybe ice cream. She shivered again; on the other hand, _she_ should lick it off of _him_ instead. He didn’t really seem too fond of ice cream, after all.

“What’s got you thinking so hard, baby girl?” He asked in _that_ tone.

“Are you trying to, to… Pavlov me?” She asked with a small, incredulous laugh, “Shoot I forgot the word,”

“The word is _conditioning_ , sweet thing,” He purred and she shivered again, “And what would I be conditioning you to?”

The elevator dinged and the doors finally opened. She scurried out and he laughed. She could feel his hot breath on her exposed back; was he _blowing_? He was! She shuddered and suppressed a shriek and he laughed again.

She walked into the penthouse and the door shut behind them ominously. His lips brushed against the middle of her spine.

“How strong do you want your coffee?” He asked with a wry smile. He moved away, his fingers brushing up her back lightly.

“Strong enough to fight Kylo for my honour,” She squeaked and he choked and laughed a full-belly laugh that made her blink in confusion. Then, she realised what she said and flushed, “I can’t believe I said that,”

He took her hand and pulled her into the kitchen with him, “I can’t believe you said that too. So, red eye, then, huh?” He started up the machine, “I guess you like Kylo Ren the most, huh?”

She pouted at his teasing, “No,” She said stubbornly, “I like _Ben_ the most.”

“Are you sure?” He arched a brow and wrapped his arms around her, “Should I be jealous and worry about not living up to your expectations?”

She laughed and slid her arms up around his neck, “No, of course not,” She said, “Nobody’d be able to beat Ben Solo. He’s the greatest person in the world, you know,”

“Is he?” His brow rose up even higher, “Hm, I don’t know, I hear he’s a bit of a douche,”

“No way,” She grinned, “He’s so sweet and kind and he treats his girlfriend really well,”

“Just ‘really well’? I guess he’ll have to try harder so his girlfriend would think he treats her the _best_. After all, I’m sure he thinks she deserves only the best the world has to offer,” She flushed, flustered and at a loss for words. He winked and leaned down to press his lips against hers in a gentle kiss.

She sighed, closed her eyes and opened her mouth for him.

He swooped down and swept her off her feet and she held him tighter. He strode into the bedroom and let her down in the bathroom.

“I said I wanted to take it off of you,” He rumbled and fiddled with the buttons on the back of her neck, “Would you be angry if it rips?”

She flushed and pouted, “Of course, it’s a beautiful dress,”

“Then, I’ll be careful,” He turned her around and pressed a kiss on the back of her neck with each button that popped open. The front slid down her front slowly to hang over her breasts. His lips moved to her shoulders, still pressing feathery kisses that made her shiver with anticipation.

“You’re beautiful, Rey,” He murmured and shifted a little. He brought out a flat, rectangular velvet box from inside his suit jacket; how could she not feel that when she hugged him? He gave it her and she met his eyes on the mirror, “Open it,” He wrapped his arms around her waist.

She gasped at the pale blue butterfly butterfly necklace. The small stones that made up the butterfly itself were in different shades of blue and it sparkled under the bright lights of the bathroom.

“It’s beautiful,” She said softly, _and too much._ There were even small diamonds lined up along the edge of the wings where the delicate white-gold chain was attached.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d like it,” He pulled it out of box and placed it around her neck. She looked at herself in the mirror, dress hanging loosely around shoulders and necklace sparkling around her throat, “It suits you,”

“Thank you,” She said, touching the pendant gently, “I,” Has she ever had anything of value other than her mum’s earrings? He kissed her shoulder again and sat her on the counter.

“Stay there,” He murmured and moved to open up the tub. Then he returned and knelt down on the cold marble to unclasp her heels.

“I can do that,” She said but he held her ankle tight and shook his head. He leaned down to press a kiss on her shin.

“Let me take care of you,” He said, “You’re always so independent, let me feel like you need me, even a little,”

“Ben,” He looked at her with wide eyes, dark with passion but bright with vulnerability. She cupped his cheeks and leaned down to give him a soft kiss, “I _do_ need you,” She said and he closed his eyes and gave a little sigh.

He helped her slip off the counter and pushed her dress down over her arms slowly and when she tried to push his jacket off, he shook her hands away and scooped her up to carry her to the tub.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” She asked and he smirked.

“Of course I am,” He shook his suit jacket off and it fell into a heap on the floor behind him. Then he loosened his tie and that too joined his discarded jacket, “Just sit there and relax,” He unbuttoned his shirt slowly and she bit her lip, not looking away even as the flush rose up her cheeks. His belt came off next. Her heart pounded when she heard the sound of his belt buckle chinking. He really _is_ conditioning her, “Why are you looking at me like that, baby girl?” He sounded so amused.

“Like what?” Her eyes didn’t leave his fingers as he pulled down his zipper.

“Like you want to eat me,” He chuckled darkly and he approached while pushing his pants down just enough for his underwear to peek through, “You can if you want,”

She reached for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference for necklace:  
> 
> 
> *mumbles*something-something-starwars-bensolo-reference-something-something*
> 
> -X


	141. Just One Touch And I'm On Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: #HereBeSmut #YesThisIsSmut #IPostedLateBecauseIJustFinishedThis #NSFW #IHeartConfidentWomen #NotForAlberto 🔥 🔥 
> 
> I love relationships where both are so open with their sexuality and they're so mature about it.
> 
> -X

Her hands moved to his hips to pull his pants low enough to expose his boxer briefs. Then her hand went inside to grasp at his length. He hissed and his hips jerked.

“Impatient?”

“Just a little,” There was a mischievous glint in her eyes and she opened her mouth wide. He sucked in a breath when he felt her tongue flick out over the sensitive head of his cock.

She’d gotten bolder now especially when it came with her sexuality. She sucked him in and he let out a shuddering breath. He could see the smile in her eyes. He gathered up her hair and tilted his hips forward.

She pulled away with a soft gasp and her hand wrapped around his cock, jerking him without missing a beat. Her other hand went lower and she rolled his balls gently.

“Is this my dessert?” She asked before sitting back and licking at the part where his cock met his balls.

He should’ve thought things through before teasing her like that. Her tongue slid up the underside of his cock and twirled around the tip before wrapping around him again.

His grip tightened around her hair and she moaned, the vibrations of her throat jolting him back a little as ran up his cock, settling at the base of his back.

Christ.

He shuddered and she took him in deeper.

Her gaze had gone dark and hazy.

His abs tightened and heat rose to his cheeks. Her mouth tightened around him, cheeks hollowing out and he finally screwed his eyes shut and moaned.

He felt her smile around him.

It was a mistake to let her set the pace. She had a habit of going just fast enough to keep him on edge until his thighs shook and his knees gave out.

Whoever said he had the power in their relationship had no idea just how much Rey had over him. He would do anything for her.

His spine tingled and his balls tightened, signalling the start of his climax.

Then she pulled away with a soft ‘pop' and cock bounced back against his stomach, smearing pre-cum and saliva as it bobbed helplessly against him.

She smiled innocently, “I thought you said you’d join me?”

He laughed breathlessly and stripped quickly, tripping over his shoes and socks as he rushed to join her in the tub.

“You’re a tease,” He said, sliding in behind her. She leaned back and he bit his lip and suppressed the urge to rub himself against her ass.

“It’s payback,” She said and shifted, “Does it hurt?”

“No,” He laughed, “It’s just a little…” She shifted again and he hissed out a breath, “ _Heavy_.”

She turned gently. Her knee brushed against him and he shivered. With her kneeling like this he’d come face-to-face with her breasts. The necklace really did suit her. His hands went to her waist and he leaned forward to suck a pebbled nipple in his mouth. She squeaked and then whimpered when his teeth grazed the sensitive bud.

He moved to give the other one the same attention and she shivered, “This one’s more sensitive,” He said, blowing out a breath over it and relishing her shiver. He sucked it harder and she stiffened. His hands went down to her ass and squeezed before going even lower to the back of her thighs.

He helped her shift so that her knees were on either side of his hips, “Ben,” She whimpered, “Please,”

“This is your fault, baby,” He purred, “Weren’t you teasing me just now?” He leaned up to catch her mouth and support her as she lowered back down on his lap. His cock twitched between them, “Are you going to help me now?”

She nodded enthusiastically and he shifted a little.

It was a tight fit; the water in the tub didn’t really help ease things and he had to pause twice when she winced at his girth, “Breathe,” He said softly and she leaned forward to give him a desperate kiss. She slid down a little and opened her mouth, tongue pushing against his more aggressively than normal.

Her pussy tightened around him and he shuddered.

They were both panting when he pulled away and she took him all the way inside her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

The combined heat from their bath and their bodies made him dizzy. Then she shifted her hips and moaned.

His fingers tightened around her hips as he supported her sliding back and forth over him. Water sloshed out of the tub and the sound of their panting echoed around them.

His head felt fuzzy.

Was the steam thick or were his eyes really just unfocused?

She leaned back a little and all he could see were her dark, unfocused eyes looking into his soul.

He groaned and jerked his hips up. All that teasing and edging, “Rey,” He gasped, “I,” She leaned forward and tightened around him and he moaned.

“Cum for me,” She whispered the words he’d used on her so many times in his ear and he _roared_.

His his bucked and she gasped and held on tight he slammed her down tightly over him as he came. Her pussy fluttered around him like it was trying to suck up everything.

He felt her breath on his neck as his lolled back and he jerked again when she bit down. His cock twitched again and he moaned weakly.

He wasn’t sure how long it was when he managed to focus again.

The water had gone cold and Rey was looking at him with a mixture of worry and a satiety that only comes after a good, thorough fucking.

“I thought you passed out,” She said and smiled wryly, “Is Daddy getting too old?”

He chuckled breathlessly and gave her long, slow kiss, “Of course not.” He slipped out of the tub and carried her to the shower carefully, “Just gimme a sec and I’ll be ready to go again and you’ll regret calling me old,”

She giggled and smiled so happily it made his heart skip a beat.

They never _did_ get their coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful when doing the deed in the tub because if the water is too hot then there's a high chance of dizziness and fainting. (Actually, just being in the tub with very hot water will make that happen too)
> 
> -X


	142. You're My California Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Follow You Home by Nickelback 
> 
> I personally love Nickelback (I don't get all the hate). 
> 
> TW: Breach of Privacy, Idol Worship Gone Wrong, Heavily Implied Stalking (to the point that it's pretty much explicit)
> 
> A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON. Listen, hear me and obey _a foul darkness has seeped into my temple_ (a darkness Ben will destroy) [if you know, you know]
> 
> Idol culture gets pretty toxic if I understand it correctly.
> 
> -X

The week passed by relatively quickly. Ben still had to stay late so he’d told her to go home ahead of him. They were moving back to her apartment today. It wasn’t really a very efficient system but she still couldn’t really find it in her heart to let go of it and she’s only really ever done videos in her own apartment. She was grateful that Ben didn’t ask herto move to the penthouse permanently. She really didn’t deserve him.

She touched her necklace and smiled. She didn’t take it off after he’d put it on her and some paparazzo had managed to take a picture of them together and eagle-eyed folks had zoomed in on it. She didn’t really think it was a big deal until people started making up weird rumours about her being pregnant.

How did a necklace suddenly give birth to rumours of her being pregnant anyway?

Others defended that it meant that her and Ben’s relationship, though new, was solidified. She had no idea where that came from either but she thought that their relationship had always been solid, after all, they _are_ friends.

So she took a selfie of the two of them cuddling on the couch with the necklace in plain view to post online. She’d explained how it was a gift to commemorate the first of the many Valentines they’d have together as well as her first _actual_ Valentines date.

Because Ben was the sweetest.

Strangely enough a lot of her followers seemed to eat up the whole we’re-just-a-regular-couple-doing-regular-everyday-things-together vibe she’d been posting recently and Ben’s account was mostly dead save for some pictures he’d taken of her working on the coffee table without her knowing.

She was humming when she opened the door to the apartment.

Then she froze.

Something wasn’t right.

The air felt heavy and thick, oppressive almost. She hasn’t felt anything like this for almost twenty years now, she’d almost forgot the feeling.

She heard the blood rushing in her ears and she couldn’t breathe.

Has the sunflower always been at the centre of the coffee table? She was pretty sure she’d left it near the edge.

She left her things by the door and propped the door open just in case.

It was dark and she opened up the flashlight on her phone; she walked further inside the silent apartment. Should she go wait for Ben somewhere instead?

She winced when the door to her room creaked. Her mind was screaming at her leave, that she shouldn’t be that one white girl in horror films who went down into the basement and died a horrible death.

The curtains were drawn but there was something sticking up on the bed. She crept closer and shone the light on her phone over her bed.

There were pictures strewn all in an almost heart-shaped pattern.

Pictures of her in the bakery downstairs, in the coffee shop near Resistance, outside Providence, even in the grocery store with Ben. Only, Ben’s face was scratched out.

And in the middle of the heart was a dead blue butterfly and the plushie he gave her with a knife stabbed straight through the middle.

Her phone clattered on the hardwood and she bolted.

Something creaked behind her and she stumbled and thanked fuck that she left the door open.

She slammed into a large body and screamed.

“ _Girl_ ,” He shook her roughly, “ _What is it, god damn it?”_ She looked up and stared at his bearded face.

“You…” She started trembling.

“What happened?” Chewie had Maz’s shotgun slung over his shoulder.

“T-there was someone,”

Chewie let out a harsh curse and she flinched, “Get down to Maz’s, _now_.” She nodded and stumbled down the stairs.


	143. I'll Still Follow You Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never realised how sketchy that song was until I actually thought the lyrics through. 
> 
> -X

Uncle Chewie never changed his number for the past fifteen years but Ben was surprised either way when he saw his name flashing on his screen. He had half a mind to actually not answer, after all, the faster he finishes his exercises, the faster he can get home to Rey.

His phone continued buzzing.

He knew Chewbacca was in the same building as them; he hasn’t gone back to the farm after Maz had practically kidnapped him from Leia’s party but they never once encountered each other. What could he want now?

He sighed and answered, “Hello?”

“Ben,” Rey’s voice was watery, like she was trying so hard not to fall apart.

He stiffened, “Rey, what happened?” Hux glanced at him.

“I, I’m okay, I’m at Maz’s,” She said, “There was,” Her voice shook and she breathed out a little unevenly.

“Gimme that,” He heard Chewie’s gruff voice, “You best come home quick, boy.” He grunted, “Something bad happened,”

“I’m on my way,” He stood abruptly and Hux looked up with surprise, “Something happened,” He said and Hux nodded blankly, looking stunned at his sudden rush to leave. He’d have to fill him in on what happened once he himself figured it out.

He drove straight home, pushing past the speed limits and even running the red light a few times. It was a wonder how he wasn’t arrested.

He knocked on Maz’s door frantically, all too aware of the police cars outside the building.

Chewie was the one who opened it and he let him in without a word.

Rey looked so small on Maz’s ancient sofa wrapped up in an old patchwork throw, and holding a mug with both hands. She looked up with wide, teary eyes, “Ben,”

He didn’t even notice the policemen gathered around her, “Rey,” He strode towards her, took the mug and placed it on Maz’s coffee table and wrapped her cold hands in his, “Baby, what happened, are you hurt?”

She stared at him for a moment before she started shaking. She looked down as tears came running out of her eyes. They ended up awkwardly on the floor, with her curling up on his lap and sobbing like someone died.

“Sir,” He looked at the burly policeman sitting on Maz’s couch, “We’d like to ask some questions,”

He held Rey tightly, “I don’t know what’s going on,”

“Yes, sir.” He said, “Do you live with Ms. Rey Johnson?”

“Yes,” Ben replied. He rubbed her back, “Yes, I live with her.”

“Then have you noticed anyone suspicious lately? Anyone following you two or anyone familiar appearing more frequently in random place?”

He frowned, “No. We’re both public figures so it’s pretty common for paparazzis to follow us,”

The policeman took note of it in his little notebook, “Do you know of anyone who would have a grudge against you?”

“Me?” Ben’s brows shot up, “I mean, I have my fair share of haters but I can’t think of anyone specific,”

“The pictures we recovered had your face scratched off,” The policeman explained. Rey gripped his shirt tighter and buried her face in his chest, “And,” He glanced at Rey before continuing, “We found a knife,” Ben stiffened; Rey didn’t seem injured, just jarred and in shock, “It was stabbed straight through this,” He showed Ben a picture of their bed and he gritted his teeth at what he saw.

The apartment was Rey’s safe place and someone had desecrated it.

“We heard her screaming bloody murder,” Maz said, “Chewie ran straight up,”

“I’ll take her home,” Ben said tightly.

“Right, thank you for your cooperation. Please don’t hesitate to call us if you remember anything or notice anything suspicious,” He gave Ben his card, “And don’t leave the city for the time being.”

“I have to go to New York next month,” Ben grimaced, “Maybe I can postpone—,”

“Don’t,” Rey looked up at him; her eyes were red and swollen, “Don’t, you have to go,” She said, “I’ll be fine.” Her voice was wavering again and her eyes were still wet.

He sighed and kiss the tears from her eyes gently, “I don’t want to leave you,”

“I, I’ll ask someone to stay with me,” She said and he shook his head.

“Let’s talk about this later,” He said and she nodded. She was still gripping his shirt but at least she wasn’t shaking anymore.

“Is it alright for me to take her home now?” He asked and the policeman nodded, “Thank you.” He lifted her up easily and Maz waved him off when he tried to return the throw.

“Keep it for now,” She said, “I’m so sorry it happened in my building.”

“Thank you,” He told Chewie who grunted and handed him her purse wordlessly. Her phone was inside. There was a large crack on the screen that wasn’t there before.

Rey was silent when he buckled her into the car.


	144. Like A Bridge Over Troubled Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel (Y's recommendation)
> 
> Also I don't know if i'll be able to update tomorrow because my body is punishing me for not having a baby. _sumimasen_
> 
> -X

He didn’t know what to say either. He held her hand as much as he could while driving. He should buy an automatic car.

He didn’t get a clear view of the pictures surrounding the doll but he had an idea of what they were. The doll was alarming too, like whoever broke into the apartment was sending a message that Ben Solo was not welcome near their idol.

This never would’ve happened if he wasn’t moving so fast.

“I’m sorry,” He said and she looked up; her eyes were still wide and her pupils were dilated.

“Why?”

“I wasn’t there,” His grip tightened around the steering wheel, “And it’s my fault that—,”

“No,” She said, “It’s not your fault,” She wrapped the blanket around her tightly, “I knew the risks and Poe even offered to get me a bodyguard when we first started but…”

“Rey,” He sighed. She needed her space and freedom, a bodyguard would just be a hindrance to that, but now, “You have to get one now.”

She didn’t answer.

He drove them silently and she didn’t react when he carried her all the way up to the penthouse. He needed to call Poe first to tell him what happened if Chewie hadn’t already told Leia.

“Do you want tea or coffee or hot chocolate?” He sat her on the couch and she curled up in the corner with Maz’s quilt. He pulled the maroon throw over and wrapped it around her too.

“Okay,” She mumbled. Her cheeks were cold and he sighed.

“I’ll be back,”

He kept an eye on her while he made chocolate. It wasn’t her mom’s recipe but for now, it’d have to do. He shot Poe a text.

 _“Bring Finn to penthouse asap; bad news; Rey.”_ He even sent the door passcode.

His phone started ringing but he ignored it. Rey held the mug with both hands and gave him a small smile.

“Thank you,” She said and he knelt on the floor in front of her, keeping his arms on either side of her.

“I told Dameron to come,” She gave him another watery smile, “Drink it,” He urged her to drink and she took a small sip.

“I’m sorry,” She said, “I didn’t want to worry you,”

He sighed, “Rey, of course I’d worry.” Someone broke into her apartment how could he not worry? “I’m supposed to protect you,”

She stiffened and her expression became tight, “That’s not your job,”

“I’m your boyfriend I should at least be able to keep you safe,” He urged her to drink some more.

“I feel safest with you,” She said without looking at his face, “It’s strange,”

His heart ached. He should’ve thought of her safety more than himself. He should’ve asked why she didn’t have a bodyguard and insisted she move here especially after that first incident with the paparazzi.

If she lived here she wouldn’t have had to experience that.

“I guess I’m going to have to let go of the apartment, huh?” She tried to laugh to make light of it but it ended up with her choking on her own tears.

“I’ll take care of it,” He said, pulling her down on the floor with him. His arms and legs caged her in against the sofa, “I’ll call Maz in the morning and get people to get our stuff. You won’t have to go back,”

She nodded against his chest and he sighed.

He held her tight and urged her to drink every time she stopped.

He heard the keypad beep from outside and Poe and Finn came rushing in.

“What happened?” Finn asked in an uncharacteristic display of panic. He spotted them on the floor, “Solo, what the hell happened?”

He knelt on the floor beside them.

“Someone broke in her apartment,” Ben said and she shuddered again, “Take another sip, baby girl,”

“What? Who?” Poe asked and knelt behind Finn, “Did you call the police?”

Ben scowled, “Of course. The police got there before me. They think it might be a stalker.”

“Where the hell were you?” Finn demanded, looking almost as distraught as he felt.

He cringed, “I was working,” He said, “I have to start filming next month,”

“So she went home alone?”

“Finn, I’m not a child,” Rey said weakly, “Don’t be mad at Ben,”

Finn released a sigh and cringed, “You’re right,” He looked at Ben, “I’m sorry. Of course it’s not your fault.”

“No,” Ben said, “You’re right, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have rushed our relationship and—,”

“Jesus Christ, you two.” Poe interrupted, “If _anyone’s_ at fault, it’s me. _I’m_ the one who cultivated this idol image,” He ran his fingers through his hair, “Damn it, Rey. I should’ve insisted on getting you a bodyguard,”

“I didn’t want that,” Rey said, “I don’t want…” She shivered, “Does that mean I have to get one now?”

“Yes,” All three of them said at the same time and she sighed.

“Rey, someone broke into your house,” Poe said, “What if this stalker does something worse next time?”

“We’re not sure if it’s a stalker yet,” He was sure she was in denial. Has the shock worn off?

“He left a message on the bed,” Ben sighed heavily and Rey flinched, “It seemed more like a warning to _me.”_

“Why?” Poe asked, “Should we call Hux and Phasma?”

Ben shook his head, “I’ll tell them later. The police showed me a picture. There were pictures on the bed and the doll I gave her was stabbed in the chest,”

“What does that have to do with you?” Finn asked and he sighed again.

“It was a Kylo Ren doll.” He said. He pressed a kiss on her head, “Why don’t we take a shower and rest?”

She buried her face in the throw and nodded.

“I’ll call Hux.” Poe said and Ben inclined his head.

—

He didn’t leave until Rey was asleep. Even then, he didn’t want to leave her side in case she woke up.

“I’ll watch over her,” Finn offered from the door, “Hux and Phasma are waiting for you outside.” Ben glanced at Rey’s sleeping form and nodded.

“Call me if she wakes up,” He said roughly and Finn nodded.

Phasma and Poe had their heads together looking at her iPad.

“I’m not sure what the pictures look like either,” Poe said, “But this is really alarming,”

“What is?” He hasn’t seen Phasma in a t-shirt and sweatpants in years.

“Well, we thought it was just a troll account.” Phasma sighed heavily. She wasn’t wearing make-up either, “There’s quite a number of those,”

“What’s a troll account?”

“You don’t have to concern yourself with that, Benjamin. What’s more important is,” She angled the iPad towards him, “Does this picture look anything at all like the ones at Rey’s apartment?”

It was a picture of them doing groceries. Rey was smiling hugely at him. His face though, was black, like a kid had gotten a marker and covered it, “I don’t know, Phas, I didn’t even see the apartment. The police might know?” He gave her the card the policeman gave him.

“Alright, we’ll take care of it,” Phasma said, “How is she?”

“She was scared, of course.” Ben said, “I’ve never seen her so terrified,” He clenched his fists.

“You and me both,” Poe said, scratching his head, “Shit, I should’ve insisted on her having a bodyguard.”

“Do you think whoever this is might go after Ben?” Hux asked, “A knife on the doll could mean a threat to _you_.”

“I don’t need a bodyguard,” Ben said with a frown.

“It might be better if you have one either way,” Hux sighed, “I’ll file for a request tomorrow. _Don’t_ argue.”

Ben gritted his teeth and remembered how Rey looked. The moment he finds out who this bastard was, he’ll kill him himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we see the stages of shock. And also protective papa bear. And I think he might also be in shock. And he might become a criminal. Because sometimes when a person is really very angry they are very calm. They become very very calm and that is scary.
> 
> Side note. Y thought breathplay means breathing on one's dick. For someone so bottom he is surprisingly so vanilla.
> 
> -X


	145. I'm On Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! Still childless much to my mother's dismay. 
> 
> This is a friendly reminder that if there's something going on with your life, please don't hesitate to contact people you trust (friends, lovers, etc.) because no matter how alone you feel, there will always be someone there for you who loves you.
> 
> Don't forget to say 'I Love You' to all those important people! Happy Valentines Day 😉 
> 
> -X

Rey insisted that Ben go to work. She didn’t want him to stay home with her especially since he still had so much to catch up on. He had to leave soon.

She needed to be okay for when he leaves so he can concentrate on work and she could start recording.

Still, she was grateful that Finn and Rose were around to keep her company.

“You okay, Rey Bey?” Finn asked, his head popping out from behind the kitchen counter, “I think I’ll make stir fry for lunch, what do you think?”

“Sounds good,” Rey said, smiling a little. Rose would come a little later; she still had to go in the office to take care of some paperwork for her auto shop. She’d posted earlier that she’ll be taking a hiatus from all of social media and she contemplated shutting it down straight up.

Poe though, didn’t agree and said to give it at least a day before she disabled everything especially since she didn’t really give a specific reason. They were keeping the stalker issue quiet for now especially since the police had no leads yet.

She thought back on what she saw and shivered. There was _definitely_ someone there that night. She heard the creaking and the footsteps. Chewie said he saw someone jump out the window and down the emergency stairs at the back. She even heard the shotgun firing.

She wasn’t sure what she’d have done if he wasn’t there.

“Rey!” She jerked a little. Since when was Finn standing in front of her? “Rey, you know you don’t have to keep trying to stay strong,” He gripped his shoulders and smiled, “We’re here for you.”

“Finn, I’m fine, I just…” She blinked back the sudden tears that sprung up in her eyes, “I just…” She sniffled, “I…”

He sighed and pulled her in a tight hug, “It’s okay to cry, Rey. We’re all here for you. Do you want me to call Solo?” She shook her head. She didn’t want him to drop everything for her and she knew he’d be happy to.

He even wanted to drop the role.

Of course she told him not to.

“Thanks, Finn.” She mumbled and hugged him back, “I don’t want to worry Ben so much.”

She felt his chest rumble with his laugh, “Girl, I’m pretty sure the world would end if that boy of yours stops worrying. You didn’t see the look on his face after you went to bed.”

She sighed and let go to sit on the piano bench. She never learned and she hasn’t had the chance to ask Ben yet to play for her, “It’s not his fault,”

“You could tell him that again.” Finn chuckled, “That man looked destroyed,” She could imagine.

“I’m fine,” She said again, with more conviction this time.

Finn chuckled and went back into the kitchen.

She puttered around the penthouse. Ben had told her time and again to decorate however she wanted but she always refrained since decorating would mean she’s accepted that she’d be living there for, well, forever if given the chance.

Now that going back to the apartment was not an option anymore, not that she actually wanted to go back, she figured she might as well make it seem a lot more like home.

Could she even call this place home without Ben in it?

She added things to her cart.

Her phone pinged regularly with text messages from Ben, asking how she was and if she’d eaten already.

Was he trying to spoil her?

She asked him what he was doing and sent him a selfie with Finn while they ate. He sent one right back with Hux glowering in the background.

She laughed a little.

“So your boy’s working with Denzel Washington?” Finn asked.

“No, he’s working with John Washington, Denzel’s son.” Rey clarified and he whistled.

“Nice. I’m guessing you’ll be watching the movie premiere with him?”

“I’m not sure if he’s going. He doesn’t like to watch his own films,”

She knew Finn was trying to distract her and she was grateful for that.

—

She went back to the office after a week despite Ben’s insistence that stay home and rest. She couldn’t just stay home forever, could she?

She’d disabled her social media accounts. She would have to explain why eventually.

Poe was in the middle of instructing Snap to call someone when she arrived.

“What’s going on?”

“Rey! You’re early,” Poe said and laughed a little nervously, “Why don’t you go on up huh? I’ll be there soon,”

She frowned at the large rectangular thing covered with a tarp sitting behind Snap, “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing!” Poe’s voice shot up an octave and she knew he was lying to her, “Just, you know, the usual stuff people send you.”

All her fan mail and gifts went through to Resistance. Poe sorts them out and replies to some of the letters for her. Sometimes he asks if she wants to keep some of the gifts. She never did save for the one knitted Kylo plush.

She remembered the plush Ben gave her and her heart ached anew. It was the first gift he gave her on the day he asked her to be his girlfriend. Would she be able to get it back from the police?

“Isn’t that too big to be the normal stuff people send?”

Poe shuffled a little, “Rey, it’s really nothing,” Her frown deepened and he sighed, “Fine, fine. Come here, you can have a peek. Snap, please call Chief Gerrerra,” Snap gave a hefty salute and pulled out his phone, “We’re just being really careful after what happened,” She nodded and he lifted the tarp.

She froze.

It was a painting of her face. She looked into her own eyes and shuddered at how lifelike it was, like it was following her every move. She eyed it warily; how did the artist make it so detailed, down to the freckles she so painstakingly tried to hide with make up and the small cut over her right eye when she’d fallen off a tree and hit her head when she was a kid? She didn’t think anyone noticed those.

Poe dropped the tarp over it again.

Who would’ve been able to go close enough to her face to actually see all those details? Who stared at her face long enough to count out all those freckles over her nose that, by all means, weren’t in the official pictures they release?

“Who…” She looked at Poe and wrapped her arms around herself, “Who sent that?”

“We don’t know,” Poe said, “Snap said it was there when he switched shifts with Rod. We’re trying to see through the CCTVs but his face was covered in all the footage we could find.”

“I, I see,” She rubbed her arms. It suddenly felt so cold despite the cheery sunshine that finally broke past the rainy days of the past weeks.

“Why don’t we go in and check out those lyrics, huh?” Poe slung his arm around her shoulders, “Maybe we can record something short in time for when Solo leaves so he has something new and unheard of with him when he goes,”

Rey smiled, relieved that Poe, at least, was trying to act like nothing happened. “That’s a great idea,”

“Right? I think I’d make a _great_ love adviser,”


	146. I Know I'll Need Her 'Til The Stars All Burn Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my all-time favourite song (and piano piece) : Where Do I Begin by Andy Williams (though the Gary Valenciano cover is amazing ; shout out again to all my Filipino peeps)
> 
> Love Story is a book that became a movie in the 70s; the piano piece was created back in the 60s if I remember correctly and the lyrics was created specifically for the movie. It's where the quote "Love means never having to say you're sorry" came from. It's a great book; very short, and though I never watched the movie I'm pretty sure it'll move me to tears too if I did. (I read the book).
> 
> -X

Rey had starting going back to Resistance. Poe assigned her twoplain-clothes bodyguards though if it were him, he’d have hired a whole team. Or better yet, he’d never let her leave the house.

But Rey was a free spirit and he knew keeping her in a cage, no matter how gilded, will just kill her spirit. She needed air and sunshine; like a plant, and though he wasn’t a gardener, he knew plants thrived best in solid ground, free from the confines of a pot.

He shook his head. He should get a gated house with a large garden for her. He hasn’t been able to concentrate on memorising his lines ever since that incident. People online had been asking him what happened and he had half a mind to shut off his social media accounts too.

“I’m home,” He called out and smiled wryly; it was nice saying that.

“Welcome back!” He caught her when she came barreling into him, “You’re early today,” She said, smiling up at him. There were dark circles under her eyes, “I’m not done cooking yet,”

He cupped her cheeks and leaned down to give her a kiss, “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” She said as she always did, “I’m…doing better,” She gets nightmares at night, in the same way he did. How will she be when he leaves? He only had about two weeks left before he had to go and she didn’t want to go with him, not at the start at least, so he could get used to the pace on-set and settle in.

“Okay,” He said and kissed her again. She sighed and whined a little when he pulled away, “You’re going to burn dinner,” He laughed a little when she gasped and ran back into the kitchen.

Poe had called him earlier in the week when the painting arrived. Not a lot of people knew about the small, barely-visible cut over Rey’s eye. In fact, if he didn’t stare at her face so much he wouldn’t even have known either.

But somehow the painter, who they think is also the stalker, knew about it. Leia had asked her old college friend police chief Saw Gerrera to personally handle this and even _he_ seemed bothered.

“Can I help with anything?” He asked. It was only now that he noticed her wearing the pretty black and yellow vintage-style apron she wore complete with polkadots and lemons.

“You can toss the salad,” She said and arched a brow when he didn’t move, “See something you like?”

“I always do when I’m looking at you, baby girl,” He said and watched the flush rise up to her cheeks, “The apron’s cute. I don’t think I’ve seen it before,” What would it look like if it was the only thing she was wearing?

He cleared his throat and looked away, distracting himself with the salad. He hadn’t touched her sexually in close to two weeks now and he had no intention of starting something she wouldn’t want.

It was a jarring change of pace from their usual, twice, sometimes thrice a day fucks.

He tossed the salad and stiffened when her arms went around his waist as she hugged him from behind.

“What are you doing?” He asked, barely breathing. Doesn’t she know how hard it was for him to extricate himself from her every day when all he wanted to stay in bed and fuck her until they both didn’t know their own names?

“I’m not made of glass, Ben,” She said, pressing tighter against him, “I’m not going to let what happened mess with my life,” He sighed a little and turned around so he could wrap his arms around her, “And you’re leaving in two weeks,”

“You could come with me,” He murmured, hoping that this time, she’ll agree, “We can bring your guitar, watch a play, you like Phantom of the Opera right? I heard they’re playing at The Majestic,”

“You’re tempting me,” She pouted and he chuckled.

“Is it working?” She met his kiss with a sigh, “Should I tempt you some more?” He flicked his tongue against her lips and she melted against him.

The oven beeped insistently and she pulled away abruptly, “You,” She flushed, “You’re teasing me!” The oven kept beeping, “And the chicken will _really_ burn this time,”

He grinned and turned around to fix the salad again.

—

She’d asked him to play the piano. He agreed but only if she stood next to him wearing only the apron. He didn’t think she’d agree.

He tried not to look at her, “What do you want to hear?” He asked, “I haven’t played in a while though,”

She leaned in behind him and he stiffened. Was she teasing him now? “What did you like to play before?”

“Do you know ‘Love Story’?” He suppressed a shiver when he felt her breasts rubbing against his shoulder.

“Taylor Swift?”

He chuckled, “No. The movie,”

“There’s a movie?”

For a moment he was reminded again of their age difference, “Never mind, I’ll play that for you some other time.”

“No, I want to hear it,” She pulled away to stand next to the piano.

“You’re getting confident walking around naked in front of me,” He cleared his throat and stared at the keys instead, “It’s nice,”

“Well technically I’m not naked,” She grinned and spun around in a circle slowly. He eyed her ass for a moment before clearing his throat and focusing back on the keys.

He stepped on the pedal and placed his fingers on the keys.

If it was one thing that his grandfather approved of him, it was his ability to play the piano. He wasn’t nearly as good as Anakin Skywalker but he liked to think he’d have come close if he continued.

Rey leaned on the side of the piano and watched his fingers as they moved almost automatically. He started out slow, building it up a little, and watched her fascinated face.

Then, he started to sing and her eyes snapped up to meet his.

 _“Where do I begin?”_ He saw her suck a breath in and flush, _“To tell the story of how great a love can be? The sweet love story that is older than the sea,”_ He faced the keys again, _“The simple truth about the love she brings to me, where do I start?”_

She bit her lip and he flashed her a smile. _“With her first hello, she gave meaning to this empty world of mine. They’d never be another love, another time,”_ He remembered the moment she slammed into him. It was like something inside him snapped into place and suddenly everything was bright and colourful; he met her eyes again and changed the pronoun, _“You came into my life and made the living fine,”_

“Ben…” She sighed and her eyes grew shiny and wet.

 _“You fill my heart with very special things, with angels’ songs, with wild imaginings,”_ It’s true, she made him thing of things that he ever bothered with. When he first heard this song from Padmé he thought she was just being too much of a romantic, _“You fill my soul with so much love, that anywhere I go, I’m never lonely,”_ He wished he could bring her wherever he went _“With you around, who could be lonely?”_ He took her hand with his left, missing out the left-hand keys so he could press a kiss on her fingers, _“I reach for your hand, it’s always there,”_

She swallowed hard and he let her hand go and focused on the keys again, _“How long does it last? Can love be measure by the hours in a day?”_ He’d have her forever if he could, _“I have no answers now but this much I can say,”_ He glanced up again and with all the love he could muster, he sang, “ _I know I’ll need you ’til the stars all burn away,”_ Would she be there?

She covered her mouth and gasped as the tears suddenly fell from her eyes. He stopped playing abruptly and stood, “Jesus, Rey,” He pulled her into his arms and she cried even harder. He sat back down on the bench and it creaked a little when she sat on his lap, “Why are you crying?” Really, the way she was crying it was like her heart was breaking and that, in turn, was breaking his heart too, “Baby girl,”

“I’m sorry,” She wailed and he chuckled, “I don’t know why I’m crying either,”

“Did I sound that great that it moved you to tears?” He rubbed her back and remembered belatedly that underneath this apron, she had nothing on except for a flimsy pair of lace underwear. He swallowed hard and willed himself not to get aroused.

He failed.

Miserably.

“You did,” She said, unconscious of the fact that she’s rubbing against him so carelessly, “You sound amazing, Ben and,” He knew the moment she realised exactly what was going on with his body. She looked up with wide eyes, “Are you…” He looked away and counted backwards, cursing his pale skin for turning red so quickly, “You are!” She shifted on his lap and he stiffened some more.

“If you’re done crying, _please_ get off.” He hissed.

She smiled slowly, tears still sparkling in her doe eyes, “No.” She said and shifted again.

He groaned helplessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write smut for the next chapter? Yes, indeed I shall.
> 
> -X


	147. And She'll Be There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short bit of smut. Yes it is smut. Smut is always good.
> 
> On a side note, there is a delicacy in Mexico called corn smut. I hear it tastes like truffles. 
> 
> -X

His arms were like iron bands around her and he kissed her desperately. Two weeks of abstinence seemed to be his limit. She sighed into his kiss and held on while he fumbled with his belt and zipper.

He pulled away and she knelt on the bench so she’d be moderately taller than him, “Rey—,” She kissed him again and he groaned. His large hands caressed her sides and slithered under her apron to cup her breasts.

She felt his hardness bobbing against her thighs and sighed again when he pinched her nipples. She reached down and he pulled away again with a hiss.

“Rey, wait,” His eyes were dark and wide and unfocused, his lips bruised, “You might fall,”

She smiled a little; he was always thinking of her. She pushed her underwear aside and pressed down on his cock. His breath hissed out and he gave a soft shiver. His fingers dug into her hips. She slid down slowly and watched as he bit his lip and narrow his eyes even as they grew even more clouded.

His back arched and she sunk lower onto him, moaning a little at the tight stretch. Maybe two weeks was her limit too. The piano clanged loudly when her elbow pressed against the keys but she barely heard above the pounding of her own heart.

His hips jerked and she sat fully onto him. The piano let out another discordant sound when he slammed a hand over the keys to keep them steady. He moved, slowly at first and she gasped when he thrust without pulling out completely. In fact, he barely pulled out at all, keeping her full and keeping her so close to him that all she felt and heard and saw was him.

She threw her arms around him and leaned all the way back over the keys. It threw out an angry sound. He followed her closely and she tore at his shirt. Buttons flew off, bouncing off of the keys and clacking onto the cold marble floor. The piano creaked and twanged with every thrust he made and she licked up his throat.

He panted and groaned and his hands gripped at her hips tightly while his eyes rolled back.

She kissed him, heady wet kisses that made her clench tight around him. The bench clattered loudly behind them and she wrapped her legs around his waist with a moan. His cock pulsed and he thrust into her faster, harder, making the keys cry out as they dug into her back.

She barely heard it.

All she knew was that he held her like he didn’t want to let her go and fucked her like he wanted to be inside her so deep he’d never leave. She tightened her grip around him, all arms and legs and clenching pussy, and he moaned lowly, almost like he was in pain.

He shuddered through her orgasm, pushing into her roughly before moaning and shuddering out his own climax. The piano pealed out another note, softer now, echoing a little as he thrust weakly into her to prolong their pleasure.

He groaned again.

It was the most beautiful song she’d ever heard.

“I love you,” He murmured, “I love you, Rey,”

“I love you too,”

“I’ll keep you safe,” He shuddered a little when his softening cock slipped out of her and she shuddered, feeling the sudden emptiness inside her.

“You already do,” She said, sliding off the piano and giving him a lingering kiss. She felt safest with him, with his arms around her it felt like nothing in the world could hurt her.

She wrapped her arms around him and he held her as he always did.

Tight and warm and safe.

Loved.

“Thank you,” She whispered.


	148. I Reach For Her Hand, It's Always There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how long this fic will last? Would we reach 200? In any case I feel like it might be ending soon (I already have the ending too in my head). I'll probably post a poll sometime about what the next one would be; let ya'll choose and all since I can't seem to decide hehe.
> 
> -X

The two weeks passed relatively quickly and Ben asked again if she wanted to join him the night before his flight to New York.

“I’ll visit after you’ve settled down,” She said and he made a face that made her almost want to reconsider. She really didn’t want to be apart either.

He sighed and gave her a soft kiss.

“I have something for you,” She said, “Can I borrow your phone?” He handed it to her with a curious expression, not at all hesitating. She chuckled, “You’re not worried?”

“About?”

“Don’t guys normally not want their girlfriends to look at their phones?” She hooked it up to her laptop and transferred the video and the mp3 version of the song she recorded for him.

“I don’t have anything to hide,” He said with a shrug, “What are you putting there?”

“It’s a secret,”

“You do know it’s my phone right,”

“Check it tomorrow when you’re on the plane,” She looked at him and smiled, “I trust you,”

He looked surprised before he ducked down and chuckled, “Well, thank you for that.”

“I’ll miss you,” She said and he gave her another melancholic smile.

“Me too.” He reached for her then and held her tight.

She’d decided to reopen her social media accounts too and Chief Gerera said it might lure her stalker out some and he’d be able to find him. The theory is that he’ll be bolder now that Ben would be leaving.

Of course Ben was against it but she didn’t want to live scared; and she missed interacting with her supporters.

So when she reopened them. She announced a livestream to explain what happened and maybe provoke her stalker a little bit, start a witch hunt of some sort. Ben said Phasma had unearthed what they thought was a troll account too of someone hating on Ben. They suspect that it’s the same person sending flowers and gifts and letters to Resistance every day. There were no other disturbing gifts after that one painting but somehow she has a feeling that there’d be something even worse coming.

“Nervous?” He was sitting next to her on the floor, their backs against nondescript white wall of the penthouse.

How did it come to this, that she had to find the blankest wall that they have so no one could tell where she was?

“A little,” She said and Ben gripped her hand. She started the livestream, “Hey, everyone! It’s me, That British Girl, Rey of Sunshine.” She knew she didn’t sound as cheerful as she usually did and she omitted the ‘your’ in her usual greetings. Somehow it didn’t feel right saying it and it gave her chills thinking that maybe, just maybe, that was what made her stalker obsessed with her in the first place.

She shivered a little and Ben squeezed her hand again.

“I’m sure everyone’s wondering why I suddenly went off like that,” She forced out a chuckled, “And I’m here to answer any questions you all might have,”

The chat box started getting flooded with messages; some with questions, others with exclamations of worry.

“Well, to start, someone broke into my apartment.” She lowered her eyes a little and chewed on her lower lip, “It was very, um, nerve-wracking?” She laughed again, nervously this time, “So, I uh, needed a little break.” The chat box exploded with angry remarks, asking who it could’ve been and how they’ll find them and beat them up.

Some people were asking her how she was, “We couldn’t really say anything much about it because it’s an on-going investigation but I’m…okay. A little bit shocked and of course I’ve been terrified but I’m just very grateful to my friends and to Ben who never left my side,” She shifted a little and leaned her head against his arm, “He’s here too, right now,” She said and Ben popped in a little to give a little smile before moving out of the camera’s field of vision again, “I understand that not everyone was happy about my relationship,” There were comments of support for her relationship, “But I’m not letting this incident ruin my life,” She gave the camera a small smile, “And I’ll continue to write songs and sing and I would like your continued support for that _and_ my relationship with Ben.” She chuckled again, more genuinely this time, “I feel like I’m asking permission from my parents.

_We support you, Rey. We’re Reylo fans forever._

“Forever sounds nice,” She said, “I’ll look forward to seeing your support when I’m like eighty years old and having a concert in the nursing home.”

She answered some questions about the break-in as vaguely as possible and didn’t mention the creepy painting. Chief Gerara said that upon closer inspection they found _actual hair_ on it. Specifically, _her_ hair. The person used _her hair_ to create the hair on the painting. She shuddered at the thought.

She was actually surprised that mainstream media hadn’t found out yet but by tomorrow she was sure the news of the break-in, and possibly the stalker, would be widely talked about. Should they have done this livestream? She wasn’t sure what the repercussions would be for Ben’s career.

“If I were to choose between music and Ben,” She felt him stiffen next to her a little, “Obviously I’ll choose Ben. Hands down,” He stared at her and she continued, “I love him. I’m putting it out online, I love Ben Solo. I always have and I will always, _always_ choose him. Even if I have to quit music forever,” He squeezed her hand again and she squeezed right back.

She answered a few more questions. Ben kept quiet the whole time.

“Well, that’s all the time we have.” She finally said, “I’d like to take this time to announce that I’m working on a new album! Check out the links and my website for details. Also, I’d like to promote Ben’s new movie. It’s coming out next year so keep your eyes peeled! It’s going to be _great.”_ She smiled, “That’s it then, this is Rey checking out,” She moved the laptop again and Ben waved before she ended the stream.

She closed the laptop and sighed.

“You did great,” He said and she smiled up tiredly at him, “And I love you too.” She flushed, “And I’ll choose you too, always.”

“I know,” She said, sighing again and pulling him down for a kiss.


	149. Don't You Worry About The Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we're talking about New York, Hey There, Delilah by Plain White Ts seem very apt for our song lyric title.
> 
> I'm posting this early because I have a fever (I still have all my senses and none of us have been out of the house in months so there's a very very low chance that it's covid. It's probably just a cold since weather's been really off lately)
> 
> -X

LAX was bustling as usual but they didn’t even go to the main airport. Instead they went to the back, to a private terminal she didn’t even know existed. Hux and Rose left them to coordinate their check-in with the airport representatives.

"You have to make sure you rest,” Rey said, sitting next to him on the couch in the room where they were led. It looked very much like a hotel room complete with all the amenities of one. There was nobody around though someone asked if they wanted to eat or have any drinks before the flight.

They asked for coffee and when it arrived, they were left alone again.

“I would,” He said, “You too. And text me what’s happening with you. I might not reply quickly but I’d still like to know what’s going on throughout your day,” He nuzzled her hair and pressed a kiss on the side of her head, “It’s not too late to get you a ticket. We can get you clothes there,”

His lips brushed lower, to her ear. He gave it a little nibble and she shivered. It would’ve been so awkward if there were people around. Then again, she was _sure_ there were cameras in the lounge.

She giggled and pushed him away, “Ben, we’re in public,” _Technically_ , it was in public since it was the living room.

“Nobody’s here, though,” She laughed again before finally relenting and giving him a smacking smooch on the lips. He sighed and gave her a rueful smile, “I kinda don’t want to go,”

“You have to,” She said, laughing a little, “How else would you maintain your lifestyle?” She arched a brow.

“I have you, don’t I? You can fund me,” He grinned cheekily and she laughed again.

“Oh, but I’m just a little starlet. Aren’t you Daddy? You’re supposed to take care of me,” She fluttered her eyelashes at him and his smile widened.

Someone cleared their throat and she sat up straight, flushing guiltily.

“I understand you two adore each other but do keep in mind that we still have to maintain both of your images,” Hux said, clearing his throat again and averting his gaze, “We have to go soon,”

All of a sudden all the cheer drained out of her. The fact that he’ll be gone for at least four months finally sunk in.

“You don’t have to be so stiff about it, Armie.” Rose said, “This is the first time they’re going to be apart,”

Rey gave Rose a bright smile, “You know how I feel, right?”

Rose laughed, “No. He’s the clingier one between the two of us,” She winked and Hux flushed.

He cleared his throat, “In any case, we have to bring you on the plane first.” He handed Ben a face mask and sunglasses.

“Because a guy wearing a suit with a big guy in sweats isn’t conspicuous enough,” Rose chuckled and Rey laughed a little.

The four of them walked together, led by an airline representative. It was the difference in status, Rey supposed, since the last time she was in an airport all she remembered was the bustle and busyness of it.

 _This_ building was quiet and very private. They made it all the way to the metal double doors that led outside where a white BMW marked with P/S was waiting.

Ben’s hand tightened around hers for a brief second and he faced her with a grim smile, “Take care of yourself,” He said seriously. Rose and Hux had moved away a little, saying their own goodbyes, while the airline representative stood by the car.

“You too,” She said with a frown, “And you have to call me when you land,” He cupped her cheeks and gave her a lingering kiss. Her chest ached when he pulled away.

She held his hands over her cheeks and pressed a kiss on one wrist, “Don’t overdo it,”

“I won’t,” He promised and pulled her into a tight hug, “Don’t worry. I love you,”

“I love you too,” She mumbled and sniffled. She didn’t think she’d be _this_ upset.

“We have to go, Ben.” Hux said softly and Ben sighed.

He let her go reluctantly and hooked the mask over his ears and pulled his hood up.

“Very inconspicuous,” Rey said, giving him what she hoped was a semi-cheerful smile.

She heard him chuckle a little and watched as he and Hux got into the car.

She waved. Rose hooked her arm around hers and together they watched the love of their lives go up into the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, parting is such sweet sorrow. There really is a private terminal at the back of LAX called Private Suite (P/S); I've personally never been so I'm only relying on second hand information and pictures. They have a membership thing going on for frequent travellers and it is expensive as shit though from what I understand there's also a per-use payment.
> 
> -X


	150. I'm Right There If You Get Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm okay now! I think I must've been tired is all. Y says it's _mild_. So I won't die. Yet :) 
> 
> PS. Y is the _younger_ brother. 
> 
> -X

Ben sat in the plush beige seat and slid the door shut. He looked out the tiny window sullenly and swirled his whiskey absentmindedly. The flight was about five hours long. He _could_ connect to the airplane wifi once they’re in the air but would Rey find it weird if he suddenly contacts her while he’s still in the sky?

Even now he was texting her.

Rose had volunteered to stay in the penthouse with Rey since Hux wasn’t home either. Rey hasn’t really been spending a lot of time with her friends either and sometimes he felt like he’d been monopolising her time. Maybe it was a good thing that she didn’t come with. He could wait a little for when she visits.

He remembered that uploaded something on his phone and pulled out his headphones. It was a video and he smiled. He recognised the recording studio of Resistance. She looked so professional too. Poe must’ve helped her with this.

This song wasn’t like her others. It wasn’t perky and cheerful, starting out slow and crooning. It sent a shiver down his spine.

_You are the light to my darkness, shining at the end of the hall._

He still didn’t know everything about his Rey but he knew there were things she kept hidden from everyone but him.

_With you, and my thoughts and insecurities disappear, and I’m free to be me._

He watched the emotions playing out on her face and smiled a little. She was her most beautiful self when she loses herself in her music and his chest ached at the realisation that he was so damn lucky to see all of it happen. She said she would give up music for him. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

_And with the safety of your arms ‘round me, I can be me._

The plane started to move and he told Rey that he’d be flying soon. Would she let him see her recording her other music? Would she let him sing with her?

_Even when we’re far apart I can feel you in my heart._

She replied quickly as she always did, telling him to have a safe flight and that she loves him.

He smiled and closed his eyes, imagining her singing her song next to him. She was like his own personal siren, calling to him, tempting him to leave everything behind. He’d be happy to drown if it meant being by her side.

She really was Rey of Sunshine.

_I found the belonging I was longing for with you._

He did too. She was the other half of his soul.

In the end he couldn’t resist and connected to the plane’s internet and inputed his credit card details. He found an mp3 version of her song in his library along with Han’s covers and he’d been playing it on loop the whole time.

He called her.

“Ben? You’ve arrived? Already?”

He chuckled, “No, I still have about four hours,” He said, “I’m using the plane’s internet.”

There was a pause, “There’s internet on the plane?”

“Some. They’re paid though.”

“Oh.” He could already imagine her frowning, “You should’t have availed of it. Is it expensive?”

“It’s fine, it’s not expensive.” He said softly, “Thank you for the song. Is it going to be part of your new album?”

“Yes,” She said, “Did you like it?”

“Of course.”

“It’s not my usual style but I don’t think I deviated too much.”

“Rey, it sounds great. And who doesn’t like a love song, huh?” She giggled and he couldn’t help but smile, “I miss you already,”

“I miss you too,” She sighed.

“What are you up to?”

“Rose and I stayed in the suite and ate for a bit but now we’re on the way to the grocery. She’s going to teach me how to make pho.”

“Sounds good,”

“I’ll practice and cook some for you when you come home,”

“Really? You’re not going to wear that cute apron again are you?” She was silent for a moment and he could only imagine what expression she’d have on her lovely face. Would she be blushing, remembering what happened the last time she wore it? “Rey?”

“N-no,” She stuttered a little, “No, I, I’ll only wear that with you,”

“Wear what?” He heard Rose say, “Are you two talking about kinky stuff because if you are I’m going to wear earphones so you two have some privacy.” He assumed Rose did so anyway since Rey didn’t say anything.

“Tell Rose to drive carefully. Does it take long to make it?” He asked.

“I would. And no, she said we can dupe it with the Instant Pot,” She sounded so proud of that appliance, “I told you it’s handy,”

He chuckled, “I believe you.”

The seatbelt sight shut off and someone knocked on the door to his little cubby. He reached over and slid it open. Hux arched a brow at him.

“Hux doesn’t seem to approve of me being on the phone,” Ben said and Rey laughed.

“Should I let you go now?” She asked, “Do you have work?”

“Just some; I should be reading through my lines.” He eyed Hux’s darkening expression, “I think he might be jealous since he can’t talk to Rose.”

“Why not? He can just connect to the plane’s internet too, right?”

“Rose doesn’t want him to.”

“Well, it _is_ technically a waste of money.”

“It’s never a waste of money if it’s for you,”

“You should rest,” She said, “I’m sure you’re going to be busy when you arrive.”

He sighed and smiled, “Yeah,” He arched a brow at Hux who was still standing at the aisle, “I’ll call you again later,”

“You can still message me,” She said, “I took a day off today so I’m free anytime.”

“Alright. I guess I gotta go,”

“I love you,” She said softly.

“Love you too. Stay safe and make sure you don’t lose your body guards,” He ended the call and noticed Hux looking away. His face was as red as his hair. Ben arched a brow, “What?”

“It’s just so bloody weird seeing you all soft and concerned and all.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Why, did that make you fall in love with me?” He arched a brow and Hux scowled.

“No, thank you. You are not my type.”

“Hm, I thought I was everyone’s type. I’m Daddy after all.”

Hux’s scowl deepened and he legitimately looked like he wanted to smack him, “Quit fooling around and behave. We have work to do.”

He chuckled.


	151. When I See You Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: When I See You Smile by Bad English
> 
> -X

Rey was recording a cover to keep her mind off of Ben’s absence and her paranoia with the whole stalker business, when Poe told her to check Twitter. It’d been three days since Ben went to New York and they’ve been FaceTiming every night. He hasn’t started filming yet but he would be come next week.

He’d sent her photos of his trailer on set and the apartment they’d rented for him. He’d even sent her photos in Times Square.

She missed him every day.

She stopped recording and checked what got Poe all excited.

_OMG did anyone see @That_British_Girl Rey’s YouTube channel? #Surprised #DoesSheKnowYet? #OMG #IWantABoyfriendToo_

_That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen OMG @That_British_Girl is so lucky! @BenSolo is the #BestBoyfriend #Blessed #Lucky_

What is everyone talking about? People were sharing her channel and tagging her and Ben. It was a title she wasn’t familiar with.

She opened it on her laptop and frowned at the new video. It was already racking up views.

 _‘Hey everyone, it’s Ben.’_ She gasped a little, _‘Rey doesn’t know about this so keep it a surprise, yeah?’_ He was holding Han’s beat up old Fender and it looked like he was recording in Leia’s garage, _‘Just for the sake of those watching, this was my dad’s guitar. I’m recording in my mom’s garage with the help of Rey’s manager Poe Dameron.’_ Poe popped in from behind the camera and Ben scowled a little, _‘I’ve never recorded myself singing on my own but I’ll be leaving soon and I wanted to leave a little surprise. So, Rey, this is for you.’_

He started strumming. He looked so natural holding a guitar like that, _‘Sometimes I wonder, how I’d ever make it through,’_ His voice was lower than John Waite’s, softer and more seductive and crooning, _‘Through this world without having you. I just wouldn’t have a clue.’_ He looked at the camera with those eyes and it felt like he was looking straight into her soul.

This was why the camera loves him. This was how he became Hollywood’s new leading man in such a short amount of time. The way his _eyes_ just imprisoned you and kept you from looking away. _‘’Cause sometimes it seems like this world’s closing in on me, and there’s no way of breaking free.’_ It was like he was confessing everything to the world that he wasn’t as put together as he makes it seem, _‘And then I see you reach for me,’_

Does he find the same hope and comfort in her as she does in him?

 _‘Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight. And then I see you, baby, and everything’s alright. Everything’s alright.’_ His fingers moved gracefully across guitar as he did a short walk-up. He even added a distortion, giving the song a uniquely Ben Solo feel.

‘ _When I see you smile, I can face the world,’_ She smiled, she’d have to call him after this. She hoped he wasn’t too busy, _‘You know I can do anything. When I see you smile, I see a ray of light,”_ He looked up at the camera and winked and she giggled, _‘I see it shining right through the rain,’_ She’d never liked her name more, _‘When I see you smile, baby, when I see you smile at me,’_

He continued on and she shivered every time he said ‘baby’. He couldn’t have chosen a more perfect song for them. It was a song dedication and a confession all in one. _And when the rain is falling I don’t feel it, ‘cause you’re here with me now._

She looked outside the window, at thee gloomy sky, and wondered if it was going to rain. Was it rainy in New York too? _And one look at you baby is all I’ll ever need, you’re all I’ll ever need._

She closed her eyes and imagined him singing next to her.

She didn’t even notice when Rose came in from her grocery shopping. Poe, Finn and even Phasma were coming over for dinner tonight.

 _When I see you smile, I can face the world._ She could do it too, she’s always been a survivor and she wouldn’t let fear pull her down.

She had her friends and she had Ben.

She wasn’t alone anymore.

 _‘So, um, that’s it.’_ He cleared his throat and looked so shy, _‘I’m not really sure if that was good but I hope you like.’_ He looked at the camera again, _‘Smile for me, baby. I love you.’_ It ended with that and she squealed a little.

She grabbed her phone.

He answered on the first ring, “Have you seen it?”

“Yes,” She laughed, “You were amazing,”

“I guess we had the same idea, huh?”

“Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with me,” She said.

“Never,” He sighed a little, “How are you?”

“I was recording a cover. Poe told me to check; how did you post it on my channel?”

“Ah, Dameron did that.”

She laughed, “Of course. He thinks himself as some love guru now,”

“I miss you, Rey.” He sounded so sad and she sighed too.

“It’s only been three days but I miss you too. How are you settling in?”

“Fine I guess. The apartment they rented me is pretty decent. It has a tub,”

“Are you trying to get me to come visit you by telling me you have a tub?”

“Maybe,”

“Well, we have a tub here too,”

“But I’m not there.”

“That’s true, you _are_ very tempting.”

“It’s not home without you.”

She looked around the empty penthouse. Even with Rose around, it didn’t feel like home without him either. “I know.”


	152. Everything's Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man today was such a strange day for me I barely finished writing anything 🤦🏻♀️ In any case~ I was surprised at the number of people who loved that song! I'm so glad I chose that though since I almost didn't use it! 
> 
> Master file's about 245 pages now and I am amazed this is like a whole ass book now.
> 
> -X

She met with Chief Saw Gerera again in Resistance. He was a gruff old soldier who’d settled down in LA back in the nineties and met Leia by chance in one of Han’s concerts where he’d taken a security job on the side. They’d been friends ever since.

Truly, Leia was amazing. Even now, she was sitting there with them thinking of ways to entrap this creep who kept sending flowers and love letters to the office.

They were now sure that it was the same person as the one who sent the painting and broke into her apartment. She still hasn’t been back there. Ben had arranged for people to pack everything in storage but she still hasn’t had the courage to open up her boxes except for the ones with her clothes.

Poe himself had been rummaging through the gift room trying to see if there were other possible gifts from the same person but that was pretty hard to tell seeing as the number of dolls and accessories and even clothes number in the thousands. They _do_ use some of them for props but most of the time they distribute them to orphanages during Christmas season and since Christmas _just_ ended, it was possible that they’ve already disposed of whatever possible gift the stalker might’ve sent.

“I suggest a performance,” Leia said, “Rey often does live performances in bars, how about a small concert? And if we announce that you’ll be staying and mingling, I’m sure he’ll appear.”

“But wouldn’t that be dangerous? What if he does something to Rey?” Poe asked, “He could hurt her or hold her hostage or something,”

“That idea’s not bad. I’ll assign plainclothes officers to attend the concert.” Chief Gerera said and scratched his chin, “He seems to have a habit of sending gifts and letters so we should in theory recognise him based on his handwriting or if the gift itself is strange. Other than that we have a general idea of his height and weight,”

“You’d be surprised at the number of one-eighty-pound, six-foot-one males that make up Rey’s fanbase,” Poe said, “But then again there’s Solo who’s the tallest of the bunch.”

“We’ll make sure Rey has her bodyguards with her.” Leia said.

Rey chewed her lip, “Do you really think he’ll appear?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure you might’ve already seen him without knowing. You say you have a couple o’ regular people who comes, right?” Chief Gerera said and Rey nodded, “Then he _should_ go too. Since your boyfriend isn’t around either he’d be bolder since there’d be no one to monopolise your time,”

“Ben doesn’t monopolise my time,” She said with a frown.

“Yeah but he’s a big distraction,” Poe said with a laugh, “It’s hard to get you to concentrate when he’s around.”

“So it’s settled,” Leia said, “We’ll have a concert. We can rent Canto Bight and start marketing,”

“Canto Bight’s a little too upscale though, don’t you think?” Rey said, “And I don’t know, a casino hotel doesn’t really seem like somewhere I’d perform.”

Poe nodded and pursed his lips, “Yeah, sunshine’s more Cantina than Canto. And Canto’s image won’t really fit with hers.”

“So should we go with Cantina again?” Leia asked with a slight frown, “A new location wouldn’t hurt,”

“Well, wherever it is I’d prefer it to be somewhere easily secured and _private._ ” Chief Gerera sighed, “And I’d hope for this to be resolved soon because this person shouldn’t be left free to roam in society.”

“How are you holding up, dear?” Leia asked, placing a hand on Rey’s arm, “If you’re having a hard time you’re more than welcome to stay home with me and Chewie’s a very good guard dog,”

“I’m okay,” Rey said, smiling a little, “It’s weird not having Ben around but, I think I’m okay.”

“Well, in any case, just give me a call. I’ll give you Ben’s old room,” She winked and Rey flushed, remembering exactly what happened the last time she was in that room.


	153. I Feel So Cold And I Long For Your Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Every Breath You Take by The Police
> 
> Listen closely to that song ya'll it's perfect stalker song. (I love this song though). And also I was late because I wanted to do a double chapter 🥺 
> 
> And yes, Ben is not happy with the plan but what can he do, he's in New York.
> 
> -X

Ben wasn’t happy with the concert and he did his best to dissuade her but if this means catching her stalker once and for all, then she’s more than happy to do it. She shuddered. The flowers and letters had gotten out of hand and he’d even started to send dolls that looked like her. She liked cute little dolls like any other person but seeing one that looks so much like her was more than a little creepy.

Chief Gerera had taken those too and she was terrified that he’d call her to tell her that the hairs on it was hers too or that it had something weird stuffed inside it.

“I’ll fly in on that day,” He said, “I’ll talk to the director and—,”

“No, Ben. You can’t,” She insisted, “You just started filming and I don’t want you to have to ask for that. Besides, there’s going to be a lot of people there and Chief Gerera said that it’s unlikely that he’ll hurt me,”

“I don’t like this,” He said, “Why don’t you just let them do their thing and you come over here, huh?”

She laughed a little, “Ben, don’t be silly, they can’t find him just like that. He might even follow me to New York,”

“I just don’t like that you’ll be used as bait,”

“It’s going to be fine.” She reassured even though she was nervous too. They’ve already announced it and so far feedback seemed good. Chief Gerera was confident that he’d appear.

“I don’t like this.”

“I know,” She said, “I don’t really, either but I just want this all to end and we won’t have to worry anymore. And it might sound a little shallow but I _do_ want to be able to keep posting pictures too and doing livestreams with a proper background.”

He sighed heavily, “It’s not,” He said, “I understand. I just wish I could do something,”

“You can. You can focus on doing a good job so you don’t have to keep doing retakes and you can come home earlier,” He laughed a little. It was nice hearing him laugh.

The concert was set to two weeks after their announcement. It wasn’t as well-planned as their other events but the turnout was still good.She recognised the faces of the regulars when she peeked out earlier but now she couldn’t help but feel awkward and scared whenever she looked at their faces, wondering who, just _who_ could that person be who’s seen the inside of her apartment and somehow gotten ahold of her hair.

She shuddered at the thought and shook her head. She shouldn’t think about that especially right before a performance.

She stared at herself in the mirror. She’d sent a photo to Ben to reassure him but he hasn’t seen it yet. He must still be filming. She’d have wanted to talk to him a bit before she had to go on stage but it couldn’t be helped.

Really, she knew two stars dating wasn’t easy but would it have been better if she was a normal girl?

She shook her head again. No, probably not; she’d be insecure if she was a normal girl dating an actor and she probably wouldn’t be able to handle the paparazzi trying to pry into her life.

She’s going to fine.

It’s going to be a performance like any other.

Poe knocked on her door and told her to be ready.

She took a deep breath, “Show time,” She mumbled.


	154. I'll Be Watching You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance hehe.
> 
> Here is second part because I hate waiting.
> 
> TW: Anxiety, Stalking, some PTSD maybe? 
> 
> -X

The moment she stepped on stage, all her worries disappeared. Amilyn did half a set with her and it helped her keep calm. She looked past the faces of the people in the crowd, instead focusing on where Finn and Rose were and moving on to look at the different undercover police officers Chief Gerera had stationed around the room.

She really was lucky.

If she were just any other YouTuber she probably wouldn’t have been taken seriously. Saw Gerera wouldn’t have handled the case personally and it’d probably take _months_ before anything significant happens.

She’d asked for song requests as she always did. Somebody shouted out _‘Hey, Jude’_ and she couldn’t help but grin. This was the song that gave her her own personal brand of paradise.

“Thank you for that!” She said, “I was planning on singing this since I really do miss my celebrity crush Ben Solo,” She noticed Finn and Rose holding their phones up to record her. Would they send it to Ben? _Hey, Jude, don’t be afraid._

The song felt different this time, not as sad as it seemed before, and she wondered if that could be because of all the new memories she had with it. _Take a sad song, and make it better._ Ben made it better.

People started singing along with her and started waving their phones around.

And for a moment she forgot that she was there trying to find a stalker as lost as she was in the music.

She took a few more requests and once she was done, she jumped off the short stage.

Reality came crashing in when people swarmed around her and for a moment she couldn’t breathe.

What if somebody had a weapon? Was this how he got her hair?

She stepped back and security stepped in. She laughed but even in her ears it sounded a little hollow, “Why don’t we all form groups, huh?” She said, “I’ll stay a while and we can all talk and take pictures. And Resistance sponsored this _really_ nice buffet so ya’ll should enjoy it!”

 _This_ was when the real work started. Finn and Rose both went around with her to chat and take pictures. She tried not to be so wary of people or at least, to not make it seem like she was too awkward about it. Most of them were concerned, asking her how she was and what happened to the person who broke into her house.

“They haven’t found him yet,” She said, “But the police are doing their best.”

“Did they take anything?” A girl asked.

“No,” She said, “Unless you count the sanctity of my apartment,” She laughed a little, “I loved that place. It was my first real home here in LA,”

“I hope they find him soon,”

“Me too.”

More people crowded in, asking to take pictures with her. Some people gave her gifts. She smiled a little blandly and Finn collected them to bring to the back.

“Rey Rey!” Rose interrupted, waving her phone, “Your phones ringing,” She grinned, “It’s Ben,” She said in a sing-song voice and the crowd around her cheered and hooted.

“Oh my god, look at her face, aw,” She flushed a little and took the phone from Rose.

“Hey,” She answered and more people hooted behind her. She turned an even deeper shade of red and spun around. Rose and Finn entertained everyone with funny anecdotes so could at least talk to Ben peacefully, “Did you finish shooting?”

“Yeah, just now. It sounds wild there,” He said, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” She said, “Just a little paranoid I guess? There’s so many people,”

“Be careful,” He sighed, “I wish I was there with you.”

“Me too,” She frowned, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,”

She glanced back at the people waiting for her and grimaced, “I have to go,” She said, “Thank you for calling,”

“Call me later?”

“Won’t you be sleeping?”

“I’ll wait,”

“Won’t you have to film again tomorrow?”

“Not until the afternoon.”

She laughed, “Okay, okay. I’ll call you after we finish.”

“I’ll be waiting,” He crooned in her ear and she closed her eyes, smiling, “You sounded great today too,” He said, “I love you.”

“I love you too,”

She was still smiling a little when she hung up and waited for a moment before putting her game face back on and smiling for the people waiting for her.

“Ms. Rey, please accept this,” He was the first to approach, smiling hugely, “I was waiting for the right time to approach you since you seemed so busy,”

He was almost the same height as Ben and his leather coat made him look all the more taller, “Thank you,” She said, accepting the book he handed her. His smile grew wider and a chill ran down her spine.

He oozed the same roguish charm as Poe but for some reason he felt oily, slimy almost, and she felt her hand shake. She looked at the plain cover of the book, “Are you going to look at it? Shouldn’t we take a picture first?” She knew she’s seen him before; how could she not when he looked older than her usual supporters? The five o’clock shadowmade his face even starker.

“Sure we can,” She forced a smile, “Finn or Rose should be here soon to help take a photo,” There was a buzzing in her ears and she realised belatedly that it was her blood rushing around her that she was hearing. What is with the vibe of this guy? She eyed the golden yin pendant he was wearing so she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Naw, I think a selfie’s nicer, don’t you think, cosier,” He slid next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She flinched and tried to smile when he raised his phone up, “Just like your apartment,”

She froze and he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, any guesses on who he could be? 😉 
> 
> -X


	155. I'll Be Around Every Corner You Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Stalker by Piebald (ironic innit?)
> 
> This part was pretty hard for me to write. Trauma has always been such a difficult topic and I always wonder if I convey it well enough but psychology and mental illness (especially ASPD) has always been very interesting to me so I always somehow end up integrating it in my writing. 
> 
> Also lol ya'll are hating on the mansplainer.
> 
> TW: More creepy things by stalker. 
> 
> -X

It turned into a riot when she started screaming. She dropped the book and her friends rushed to her side while Saw Gerera started barking out orders from the bar where he was pretending to be a bartender.

The bar was locked down and nobody was allowed to leave while Poe ushered Rey to the office. She now had a face to attach to the stalker. Why was it so cold?

“ _Rey,”_ Poe was shaking her and she looked into his worried eyes, “Rey, talk to me,”

Finn and Rose were on either side of him, “Rey Rey, what happened?” Rose asked. She didn’t see and Rey started shaking harder. It was so hard to breathe.

“The book,” she said, “T-there was a book,” What was that book? _Who_ was that guy? She’d seen him in her other shows, always near the walls or at the bar. He never really approached. He went on the few signings but for the life of her she couldn’t put a name on him. The names and faces of people always blurred together and she couldn’t tell Jude from Adam with how many they are.

The bar.

He was always near the bar.

The way he smiled was so familiar too. She shuddered.

“What book?” Finn asked, “Should I look for it?”

“He, he gave me a book,” Poe wrapped his jacket around her.

“I’ll look for Chief Gerera,” Finn said, “We should call Ben,”

“N-no, he’s going to get worried,” She said, “He has to rest,”

“He’s going to find out about this soon enough,” Rose said, “Everyone must be posting about it by now,”

“I’ll tell him,” She said desperately, “If anyone’s going to tell him, it’s me. Please.”

“Call him now,” Poe urged and Rey nodded. Her hand shook when she dialled his number, “We’ll give you some privacy and go talk to Chief,” She nodded.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Rey?” He sounded out of breath, “You’re done? I just came out of the shower,”

“Ben,” Her voice wavered and she finally gasped out her sobs, “I, there was,” She couldn’t say it.

“Rey, what happened?” She could hear the panic in his voice, “ _Fuck_. I knew this fucking concert was a mistake, were you hurt? I’m getting the earliest flight out,” Something shattered from the other end of the line.

“No,” She said, “No, please, you have to stay there.”

“ _Rey_! How could I stay here when you sound like that? What the hell happened?”

“W-we found him,” She hiccuped, “Chief Gerera’s doing his best and, and,” She held her tears back, “I-I’m just in shock.”

“Who is he?” She shivered at the sudden coldness in his voice.

“I don’t know, I just, I just called to tell you,”

“ _Jesus_.” Something crashed again and she shuddered.

“Ben, what are you doing?”

“What the hell were they all doing? _What happened exactly?”_

“He came to give a book and take a selfie,” _Just like your apartment_. She could still hear his smarmy voice and pulled the jacket around her tighter. Did they find him yet? There was a knock on the door and she jumped, “I’m okay, I’m just really, really, shocked.”

“Damn it.” He ended the call and she blinked. He’s never hung up on her before. Her heart started pounding and she couldn’t breathe again.

At least, until her phone rang again and this time, it was a FaceTime call. She accepted it.

His hair was still wet, curling over his cheeks and neck and his eyes stared straight at her with barely concealed anger. She shivered.

“Rey, look at me,” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to look into the camera or on his face, “Fuck, you look so pale,”

“It’s the light,” She said, “And the make up,” She tried to laugh but the look on his face told her that he wasn’t buying it one bit, “Can you keep me company?”

“Of course,” He looked just as upset as she felt, maybe even more, “There’s a flight out at seven in the morning, are you _sure_ —,”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She said. She’d finally stopped shaking, “Please don’t.”

There was another knock and this time she let out a weak ‘come in’.

Poe, Finn, Rose, Leia and Chief Gerera filed in looking grim.

“Are you alright, dear?” Leia asked softly, making her way to her and touching her shoulder gently, “You’re very pale,”

“It’s the lighting,” She insisted and smiled a little.

“Here, I got you water,” Finn handed her a bottle and she smiled at him gratefully.

“What’s going on?” Ben’s voice came out from her phone and she propped it up on the desk beside her.

“Oh, hello, dear.” Leia said, “We were just in a bit of a shock.” She said, “We _did_ get his face so it won’t be long before he’s caught.”

Chief Gerera was wearing a pair of latex gloves while holding the thick, hardbound book.

“What’s that?” Ben asked and Chief Gerera grimaced.

“This. It’s not…nice.” He said, “I’ve had my fair share of stalking cases but it never fails to amaze me how fucked up these people can be.” He said and laid the book on the table.

She was grateful for Leia’s hands on her shoulders. She gripped her phone tightly and switched the camera so Ben can see the book too. What could it be? More pictures? Hair? Bloody tampons? She shuddered.

He opened it at random and she flinched at the scratchy scrawls that all said the same thing.

_I love you, nobody is fit for the princess._

It kept repeating over and over in brown ink.

He turned the pages; same script, same words. Some pages had more pictures; Ben’s face was scratched out. There was some more hair, braided into what looked like a bracelet or placeholder in the book.

She started trembling again.

“Take it away, Saw.” Leia said sharply and Chief Gerara closed it again and pulled out a large ziplock from his pocket.

“What the _fuck_ is that?” Ben snarled from her phone and something crashed loudly again. She flinched, “Son of a _bitch_.”

“Language, dear.” Leia said, “Why don’t you sleep at my house tonight?” She asked Rey who nodded blankly, “Rose, Finn and Poe can too,”

“Of course we would,” Poe said stubbornly, “Jesus Christ.”

“That’s it, I’m going back,” Ben said.

“No.” Chief Gerera said, “You stay there, boy. Rats hide when the cat comes.”

“But he’s not really after _her_.” He argued.

“You know it’s for the best, Ben.” Leia said, “Otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Stay there,”

“Fuck!” He snarled again, “Rey, Rey, let me see you.” She lifted her phone up again and this time she could see the desperation in his face, “Rey, _please_ , tell me,”

“I’ll be fine,” She said and Ben flinched, “I’ll stay at Leia’s for a while and…and I won’t come out until he’s found.”

“I’m adding more security,” Poe said, “And Rose, Finn and I will stay with her. You’re still needed there.”

“I’m going to be okay, Ben,” Rey said, cursing her suddenly-hoarse voice, “I promise. I’ll be okay. Trust me,” He looked so pained but he nodded anyway, “I’ll go home with Leia and…I’ll be fine.” He nodded again, “I love you.”

“I love you too,”

She was the one who hung up and Leia wrapped her arms around her.

She gave a heavy shudder and screwed her eyes shut, wishing that she didn’t know what was inside of that book.

“Let’s get you home, dear,” Leia said with a sigh, “Saw, if you’d be so kind as to assign a few escorts,” Her arm moved to Rey’s waist.

“Yes, ma’am,” Chief Gerera gave her a lighthearted salute before walking out of the office.

“I’ll take care of things here.” Poe said, “Rose, you should go get some stuff for Rey, yeah? Finn, you go with them. I’ll bring our clothes over,”

Finn nodded and wrapped his arm around Rey’s shoulder and together, he and Leia supported her through the back and into Leia’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book with the I love you's was an idea given by Y. He told me that an idol had received a notebook that had I love you written on it over and over again and at the end it was written in blood. Since we've already established that our lil psycho likes hair, it seems only natural that he'd incorporate that too in the book. Hair bracelet or bookmark, either way it's pretty creepy. 
> 
> -X


	156. Don't Think I Don't Know What Suits You Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a mini Ben's POV here. Think of it as a filler/side story thing :)
> 
> Y has a habit of walking in on me writing smut. 🤦🏻♀️He says it's a passive skill. He has a smut radar.
> 
> -X

“What in the bloody world happened?” Hux entered the apartment, “Jesus Ben, your hand,” He dropped the bag he was carrying.

Ben didn’t even notice the blood dripping from his hand from when he’d shattered the coffee table. Rey was hurting and he couldn’t be there.

He _should’ve_ been there.

Hux grabbed his hand and he shook him away.

“Ben, what the _fuck_ is going on?” Hux shook him and he fixed a glare at his best friend, “Is it Rey?”

Ben didn’t answer and his blood boiled at the thought of that still-faceless stalker getting near her and _touching_ her.

But she knew what he looked like now and he couldn’t even imagine how much she’d suffer.

He heard Hux on the phone with Rose and cursed himself again for not being able to do anything.

—

As promised Leia had given her Ben’s old room.

She snuggled in his AC/DC sheets and wished it smelled like him instead of the detergent Leia used. Rose and Finn each had a room too and Chewie had taken one look at her and decided that she looked enough like a soaked puppy for him to want to keep and protect.

He never left her side. Even now he was snorting away next to the bed but she knew one strange noise he’d wake up and start growling until he’s sure he knows who’s approaching.

It’d been three days since the incident. She’d shut off her social media accounts again but Rose has been updating her on what everyone was saying. Reporters had also caught on and were camping out outside and Chief Gerera had released the CCTV footage _and_ the artist drawing of the culprit.

Ben had been calling every moment he could. He looked tired and angry and _stressed_. His co-actors sometimes popped in the video chat to ask her how she was but she could see how frustrated he was that he couldn’t be here with her and as much as she’d want to escape LA even for a little bit, she couldn’t, not until the bastard had been caught.

She shivered a little and tried to focus on her book so she could keep her mind off things.

She was so tired. She’d woken up screaming more than once as she tried to run away in her nightmares and ultimately getting caught by a web of her own hair. How could a person just affect someone so completely without even appearing much?

Or had he always been around and she just never noticed?

She wanted to cut her hair but if she did, would she receive it back? Would he somehow get ahold of it?

She placed the book on the nightstand and stared at a framed family picture Leia had placed there. She was _sure_ it wouldn’t have been Ben when he was looking so angry in the photo.

But he _was_ cute. If they ever have a son she hoped he’d get his looks. She’d make sure he wouldn’t have a reason to have that same look on child-Ben’s face; like he didn’t fit in and he was angry about it.

She fell asleep dreaming of a little boy who looked exactly like his father.

There was a creak.

Where did Chewie go? Was it time for his meal? She turned and mumbled, snuggling deeper into the covers. She didn’t want to get up.

The bed sunk and she froze. Someone was on the bed.

Her mind ran through the possible scenarios. It seemed too heavy to be Rose or Leia and Finn never comes in if she’s asleep.

The image of that man flashed unbidden in her mind and she shivered.

“Rey,” He touched her arm gently and her eyes snapped open. She struggled against the sheets and threw her hands out. He gripped her wrists and she shrieked, “ _Rey_! Rey, it’s me, it’s okay,”

She blinked back the tears blurring her eyes and gasped when she saw his tired face, “Ben,” She sobbed and threw her arms around him, “What are you doing here?”

He pulled her up and onto his lap and held her so tightly it hurt to breathe.

She’d never felt more at ease.

He shuffled them both up so he leaned against the headboard with her still curled up in his arms.

“Did they know you’re coming?” She asked, listening to heart beating. He’d grown his beard a little for his role and it looked like he was still wearing what he wore for filming. He smelled vaguely of sun and sweat and she’d never seen this checkered button-down shirt before.

“Yeah,” He said, “I didn’t tell you since you’ll just tell me not to come.” She snuggled closer and pressed her face against his neck, “Shit. I’m dirty, I should take a shower first,”

“You’ve already dirtied the bed,” She murmured, “Are you staying the night?”

“Yeah.” He said, “I have to go back early tomorrow though. We’ll be filming again at 1.”

“I’ll go with you to the airport,” He was already shaking his head, “We can bring the guards and—,”

“No, Rey. You should stay here,” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’d prefer you’re home safe.”

“It’s not home without you,” She said and finally noticed the bandage wrapped around one hand. She said up and he grunted a little at the change of angle, “What happened to your hand?”

“Ah,” He didn’t answer immediately.

“Don’t lie to me, Ben Solo,” She frowned and he smiled ruefully.

“I broke the coffee table.” He finally said and she gaped.

“What? Why?” She lifted his hand up; it didn’t look like it was still bleeding, “Was it bad?”

“It’s fine, Rey.” He said softly, “I didn’t need stitches or anything,”

He looked really tired. His skin was paler than normal, making the purplish circles under his eyes look even starker. She didn’t think it was make up.

Chewie bounded into the room with a loud ‘woof’ and flopped down next to his spot by the bed.

“Hey, guys, just letting you know I’m starting dinner,” Rose said from the door, “Shouldn’t take more than two hours so if you guys wanna rest up or anything,”

“Thanks, Rosie,” Ben said, “Where’s Hux?”

“Oh, Armie went to the store to get a few drinks. I’ll leave you two now,” They heard her footsteps fade down the hall.

“Hux came with you?”

“Of course,” He chuckled, “He’d jump at any chance to see Rose.”

“You look really tired,” She brushed a thumb under his eye and he leaned into her touch, purring almost, “Why don’t you take a bath?”

“Aren’t you joining me?” He opened his eyes again, just two dark slits, and pressed a kiss on her palm, “We haven’t seen each other in almost a month,”

“But you—,”

“I’m not too tired that I can’t fuck you,” He interrupted and she flushed. He rolled his hips to emphasise his point.

She scrambled out of his lap, “Bath.”

He chuckled, “Yes, ma’am.”


	157. I Just Want To Stay With You In This Moment Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: I Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith
> 
> I totally lost track of time huhu.
> 
> WARNING: THIS IS SMUT. SEX HEALS OK. #SMUT #CanTotallySkipThis #SmutIsAlwaysNice
> 
> -X

He used the shower. Rey wanted him to use the tub but he didn’t have a lot of time with her so he wanted to be quick. She came in to bring him a towel and some clothes and yelped when he pulled her in with her.

“Ben!” She shrieked, “I’m all wet now,” He grinned and she sucked in a breath, blushing so prettily he couldn’t help but want to tease her, “I didn’t mean it that way,”

“What way?” He arched a brow and wriggled a hand inside her shorts. He loved it when she wore gartered things; it makes it so much easier for him to stick a hand in her pants. She shuddered at his touch and looked away, “Are you sure you didn’t mean it that way?” She arched towards him when he pressed inside her. He bit the inside of his cheek, “You’re such a bad liar,” He murmured and shoved his finger into her. She gasped and tightened around him.

“I’m not—,” He curled his finger a little and she moaned, “Ben, please,” The t-shirt she wore was one of his old ones; had she been living in his high school clothes? He liked that thought. The well-worn fabric clung to her breasts and he leaned down to suck on her nipple through the shirt.

She yelped and her hands went to tug at his hair. He shoved another finger in and lifted her up a little so she was standing on her toes.

“Ben!” She wailed and he chuckled a little, sucking hard before pulling away, “Please,”

“Please what, baby girl?”

“Fuck me already,” She moaned and then pouted. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh because she was so cute or groan because of how fucking sexy she sounded just now.

“You’ve turned into a brat, huh?” He teased, “Why don’t you take these clothes off then?”

She squirmed and he arched a brow. His moved his fingers again, thrusting inside her while she threw off her shirt and tried to wiggle out of her shorts. He didn’t make it any easier on her and by the time her shorts were on the tiled floor, she was a panting mess in his arms.

He took his fingers out and gripped his cock, “Hands on the wall, sweet thing.” She bit her lip, pressed her hands on the wall and arched her back. She was looking back at him pleadingly and he cursed. He lined his cock against her and pushed.

She gasped and arched some more to accommodate him.

He shuddered. It’d been so long.

She tightened instinctively around him and whimpered. He started to move, slowly at first so she wouldn’t get hurt, before leaning close and thrusting harder. He pulled her hips back with each snap of his and relished the way she gasped and moaned.

He sucked on her shoulder, leaving little marks along her neck and back.

He hoped seeing them would be enough to keep her mind off of things even for a moment.

She whimpered and came without warning and tightened around him so hard he almost lost it too. He forced himself to pull out a little and hissed when bore down, almost like she didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t want to either.

He pushed back in, rougher than he intended, and she arched back with a short whimper. He didn’t last very long either, managing two more pumps of his hips before holding her hips pressed tight against him as he came. She moaned too and her pussy fluttered around him as she shuddered out another climax.

Jesus Christ.

He pressed his forehead on her shoulder and suppressed the shudder the ran down his back. His cock kept twitching and jerking inside her. Her knees shook and they both slid down to the floor, him supporting her so she wouldn’t bang her head on something and him still dazed from the aftershock of his climax.

He should probably check out edging. It’d seem like something they’d both enjoy.

Soon enough he slid out of her and she made a soft sound of distress. Her mouth sought his and he felt her sigh and relax in his arms.


	158. Every Moment With You Is A Moment I Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some form of normalcy for the babies.
> 
> -X

Their dinner was noisy affair. Poe, Finn and Rose had all been living in his mother’s house for the time being, but for some reason Phasma dropped in too unannounced.

“I made Korean army stew,” Rose said, “I’m not sure if it’s too spicy though, bringing out the large pot, “I’ve been trying out different Asian recipes recently so tell me what you guys think,”

Leia was the first to try. She and Poe came home together and seemed genuinely happy to see him.

“This is _strong_ , wow.” Leia said, “I’m not saying it’s bad, dear, but it really packs a punch.”

Rose grinned and giggled at Hux who’d turned red and started coughing.

Rey and Finn looked fine as can be, chugging it down like juice and already getting more. He hesitated before trying out a spoonful and wished he didn’t. He choked.

He really wasn’t good with spicy things.

“Was it too much?” Rose asked and he shook his head.

“I was just…surprised,” He said and Leia chuckled.

“It’s alright, dear, we all know you’re not good with spice.” She said and Rose’s smile grew even wider.

“Which is why I made a separate one for you and Armie,” Rose said before bursting out laughing.

Hux sighed and rubbed his face, “Why am I not surprised?”

Rey laughed too and offered him a drink from her lemonade. He took a gulp.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Phasma asked, “Going back so early in the morning?”

“I’ll be fine.” Ben said, “You know me, I can work for days without sleeping,”

“That’s not very healthy,” Phasma commented, “And it’s our job to make sure you remain healthy and well. For the public, of course,”

Rose returned with another smaller pot to replace Ben’s and Hux’s bowl.

Leia was nodding, “And you can’t have healthy babies if you, yourself isn’t healthy,”

He choked and Rey looked at her with surprise. He wasn’t sure if the blush on her cheeks was because of how spicy the stew was or because of what Leia said.

There was an awkward silence for a moment while Leia continued sipping delicately on her soup. Then, Finn snorted and started laughing.

“Sorry,” He said, “I just,” Poe started laughing too, “I think Rey’s babies would be cute,”

Rey turned an even brighter shade of red and he scowled, “We’re not having kids yet,”

“ _Yet._ ” Poe repeated and winked. He fixed a glare at Poe who grinned at him.

“What about you two, Armitage, Rose, how many children are you planning on having?” Leia said with a chuckle and Ben wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank his mom for changing the topic or for curse her for bringing it up in the first place.

This time Hux turned bright red and refused to answer. Rose laughed, “We’re not sure yet but I think two would be nice.” She said. Leia was nodding before turning to Poe and Finn, “And you two? How many children would you two like?”

“Oh,” Finn looked flustered that Leia was asking, “W-well, we were thinking maybe one first to see if we’d be approved,” He stammered.

Poe smiled hugely, “We’re thinking if we can foster and then adopt,” Finn was nodding.

“That’s wonderful,” Leia said, “I know a few organisations, would you consider them?”

“Of course!” Finn said quickly.

Rey looked at them proudly and Ben wondered if she’d prefer to adopt too. They were both earning enough to have a lot of kids. It was selfish of him to think that they’d only be having kids in the traditional way.

He took her hand and she looked up at him and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korean Army Stew or Budae Jjigae is a spicy soup. It's not the stew that we all know that's like thick and everything. It's not thick; it's more like soup. It's like the Korean version of gumbo minus the roux. It's spicy, hearty, filling and has loads of sausage, ham and spam and even noodles. There's no right way to make this I think. It has a rich history linked with the Korean War and it's actually considered an American-Korean fusion because it has ingredients that was originally not common in Korea such as Spam.
> 
> Do try it sometime! (I know Rose is Vietnamese but I am Asian too and I do cook cuisines that are from different cultures as well)
> 
> -X


	159. Don't Want To Close My Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever just get that moment when you don't want to sleep because then you'd have less time with your person? Yeah, same.
> 
> -X

She didn’t want to sleep. She had her arm wrapped around his waist and he held herso tight he blocked everything else. The lights, the sounds, all of it was drowned by Ben’s warmth and scent and even his heartbeat.

“Can’t sleep?” He mumbled in her hair, “Want me to stay up with you?”

“No,” She said, snuggling closer, “I just…want to hold you. I miss you,”

“I’m right here, baby,” He pulled her tighter, almost on top of him. She propped her chin up on his chest and he looked at her through heavy-lidded eyes, “I’ll always be here for you,”

“Thank you,” She gave him a small smile and slid forward to press a soft kiss on his lips, “You look so tired. You should sleep. You have to get up early,”

“Mm,” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Love you,”

“I love you too.” She snuggled closer and sighed.

She woke up when he did and stayed in the bathroom while he took a quick shower just so they didn’t have to be separated by a door. They really didn’t nearly have enough time together.

He’d packed his ‘costume’ in an old backpack and met Hux and Rose by the backdoor. Rose already had tea ready for them.

“I wish you didn’t have to go so soon,” She heard Rose say, “I miss you,”

“I miss you too, Rosie.” Hux said.

Ben squeezed her hand and she looked up at him with watery eyes, “Don’t overwork yourself,” She said, wrapping her arms around him, “And you have to eat properly and drink your vitamins,”

“I would,” He said, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

“And don’t break anything else and make sure you don’t reopen your cuts,”

He chuckled, “I won’t,” He brushed her cheek with his thumb, “Take care of yourself and text and call me whenever,”

She nodded and squeezed her arms around him, holding him as tightly as she could. She wondered briefly if it was better if he _didn’t_ come because then it’d be harder for her to let him go again.

He gave her another kiss, this time on the lips and she wanted to hold on, to keep him with her for as long as she could. It didn’t even bother her that they were making out while Hux and Rose were around though she was sure they were too engrossed with each other to notice anyway.

“I love you,” He murmured against her lips and flicked his tongue teasingly before pressing another desperate kiss.

She mewled and whined a little when he pulled away.

“I gotta go,” He said and tucked her hair back behind her ear. She nodded sullenly and pulled away, instead wrapping her arms around herself.

“I love you,” She said, “Sleep on the plane and text me when you get there, okay?”

“I will.” He reassured her, “I love you too, Rey.”

They watched them leave again.

Mitaka waited for them on the street and he waved at Rey and Rose before opening the door of the car for Ben and Hux.

Ben glanced back and gave her a smile, waving.

She waved back.

Together they stood until the car disappeared from view.

“Are you okay, Rey Rey?” Rose asked, giving her a side-hug.

“How do you do it?” She asked, “Watching him leave like that every time?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy especially at the start,” Rose said, “But I trusted that he’d come home to me every time. Plus, I visited whenever I could.”

“We should go to New York once all this is over.” She let Rose lead her to the table and thanked her for the tea she’d poured out, “I hope they catch him soon.”

“I’m sure they would, Rey,” Rose smiled, trying to cheer her up, “And once they do we’ll book the earliest flight to New York and surprise them. Just economy though, I don’t think I can buy first class without feeling slightly guilty,”

Rey laughed then, “Me too.”


	160. I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles.
> 
> TW: Therapy, Anxiety, Abandonment Issues
> 
> -X

It was another two weeks before Chief Gerera contacted them saying he’s identified him. Rey wasn’t sure if she was relieved or if she just didn’t want to know anymore. She’d have to meet him though, later, after her appointment. Jyn Erso had called and sent her a psychiatrist friend of hers named Chirrut Imwe who turned out to be Baze Malbus’ life partner. They were sitting comfortably in the living room, Chewie laying on her lap on the couch while Chirrut sat on the armchair he’d moved in front of her.

He was a nice, soft-spoken fellow who didn’t feel like a doctor much less a psychiatrist and he seemed to see things that even she herself couldn’t.

“You should trust yourself,” He said, “Let go of what is holding you back and trust that all will be well.”

He looked straight into her eyes and she was oddly comforted by that, like he was anchoring her to the now.

What _was_ holding her back anyway? Fear? Regret?

“Your anxiety stems from many things, shall we take a look at them one by one?” He was looking at her even while he wrote things on his clipboard.

Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor had actually been there during their first meeting. Cassian had brought over an enormous amount of pizza for them and waited until she finished her first session with Chirrut so they could all eat together.

After that, they’d made it a habit to pop in every once in a while.

“First we should talk about your fear of abandonment,” She’d told him about her previous doctors and how they all said that she had abandonment issues and that she should try to get over them, “It does seem to me that you’ve gotten over most of it but would you mind telling me how you think it started?”

“Well, I was a foster kid for a very long time,” She said, “My birth parents…they didn’t die or anything, at least I don’t think so, but,” She barely remembered them to be honest. Her earliest memory was being dropped off somewhere and then taken here.” He was nodding. She was petting Chewie absent-mindedly and untangling the knots on his thick hair. She should order him a new brush, “Unkar was one of my foster fathers. He said that my parents left me because it cost too much to raise a child and they’d rather buy alcohol.” She grimaced, “He _himself_ was a raging alcoholic and his real children were out of control.” She remembered all the mean words they said and how they liked to pinch her and dirty what little things she had.

She’d run away more than once from there but they always brought her back.

“I see, I suppose that would explain your choice to abstain from drinking alcohol.” She nodded, “It was…I was almost ten when they got me out of there. They noticed that I had a lot of bruises in the police station when they’d picked me up for running away.”

“Did anything else happen there?”

She grimaced. Of course he’d ask that. “Well, Unkar had a son.”

“I see.”

“He…” She remembered the way he looked at her and shuddered as it interposed with how her stalker had looked, “He didn’t…I mean, he tried to…” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I kicked him and ran away.”

“How is your relationship with Mr. Ben Solo?”

She looked up, a little surprised, “It’s great,” She said, “What does that have to do with Ben?”

“Just curious,” He said mildly, “You say you are anxious about being left alone so how do you feel that he’s far away?”

“I…” Was she anxious that he was in New York? Did she think he’d do anything to hurt her? “I miss him.” She said, “But…I don’t think I’m worried that he’ll leave me,”

“How do you feel about him?”

She frowned, “I love him.”

“I mean, what do you feel, when he’s around?”

She chewed her bottom lip some more before answering, “Safe, happy, content?”

He nodded again and wrote something in his board, “And your friends? How are your friends?”

“They’ve been great.” She said, “They’ve been really helping me and cheering me up and they always stay with me.” She shifted a little and Chewie raised his head to look at her. She petted him again, “Sometimes I feel like I’m using too much of their time,”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t know, I just…don’t want to be a bother,” He sat there while she poured out all her worries. It was so easy to talk to him. He asked about her mum and how she felt when she died.

He asked about Finn and her reaction to his engagement with Poe.

He even asked about her high school teachers.

She wasn’t sure what exactly it was he wanted to find out but his questions brought out so many emotions and memories she’d long since forgotten to the surface and for a moment she thought she’d drown in them.

“Now, remember,” He said, “All of these have happened in the past and the you now is stronger because of those things. You mustn’t let it consume you. Would you like to take medication for your anxiety?” She shook her head, “Alright. Is there anything else you’d like to talk about?” In their sessions he never once asked about the stalker.

“Chief Gerera said that they’ve identified him.” She said and fidgeted with Chewie’s ear, “I… He’s coming here later.”

Chirrut nodded and his pale eyes seemed to look straight into her soul, “You are worried.”

“Terrified,” She said with a nervous laugh, “I don’t…what did I do to deserve this?”

“It’s not your fault,”

“I know it’s not but I keep thinking _how_ could I not even notice?”

He let her rant and cry it out and handed her a tissue. He told her it was understandable that she was feeling like this now and that none of it was her fault.

He even explained how it wouldn’t be easy for her to move on from this and there’d be times when she’d remember it all again and feel like she didn’t move from it at all. He said that it was all okay, that it was all normal.

She was normal and that she wasn’t alone.

“Your friends are your strength,” He said, “Lean on them. You don’t have to be scared and keep everything to yourself.”

He told her everything she needed to hear with his calm, sure voice and she was so grateful that Jyn had introduced them.

He stayed for tea and cookies afterwards. He never charged her for the extra time he took to stay with her nor for the house visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a psychiatrist so I have no idea what they write on the boards but I do know they ask a lot of questions that don't necessarily have anything to do with a particular situation but some how being connected to it after all so here we are.
> 
> Y wants to be a psychiatrist though because he's a psycho.
> 
> -X


	161. Would You Believe In A Love At First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have caught up to myself damn it.
> 
> Since this isn't a mystery/thriller/crime thing it's not super detailed so we'll be shifting back to our lovey-dovey couple soon enough.
> 
> The title is sweet until you realise that it's about our little stalker.
> 
> TW: Stalker reveal
> 
> -X

Chief Gerera wouldn’t tell her anything until everyone had arrived in the house. On one hand the suspense was killing her on the other she was grateful that most of the most important people in her life were there.

Finn and Rose sat on either side of her, each holding a hand. Leia and Poe stood behind her, both of their hands on her shoulders as though they were lending her their strength.

Even Phasma was there, standing by the wall, watching. They weren’t really close but Rey was grateful that she was there anyway.

He placed mugshots of the man in front of her on the table and she shivered at the now-familiar smirk. He even had the same dead-eyed look in the photo as he did when they met.

“His name is DJ. His record started about ten years ago for theft, breaking and entering, and stalking.”

“That’s his name? DJ? That’s it?” Finn asked, frowning.

“What kind of name is _that_?” Rose asked.

“Well, he doesn’t show up on anything as other than. We suspect he was an illegal immigrant who bought his identity,” Chief Gerera sighed and ran his fingers through his greying hair, “He’s been in and out of jail but I think we can get him to stay for life this time considering he broke parole _and_ stalked someone. Plus, we found his prints on the book and while tracing that troll account ya’ll were talking about, we found that he’sbeen real busy hacking into bank accounts.”

“That’s wonderful news, Saw.” Leia said, rubbing Rey’s shoulder a bit. Her throat felt tight. That was it, right? He’d go to jail and that was that? All those months of terror, gone just like that. It was a bit anticlimactic to be honest, but she was relieved nonetheless. “That means you can arrest him, right?” Chief Gerera nodded once.

“So how’d he end up stalking Rey?” Poe asked.

“As his name suggests, he’s a DJ _and_ a bartender. There’d been records of him freelancing in these places,” He showed them a list and Poe cursed.

“Jesus, we performed in these places at some point.” He said, “Cantina, too?”

The Cantina.

Rey stared into his picture.

 _Thank you._ She’d thanked him with a smile. She’d asked for water from him not knowing that the smug smile he gave her was anything but benevolent. She shuddered. Where else had she seen him before? How did he even find her house? How long has he been breaking into her apartment?

Leia squeezed her shoulder and she looked up, “It’s going to be alright, dear.” She said with a smile and the tightness in her chest eased a little.

“Would Rey have to appear and testify or something?” Poe asked.

“At some point, yes.” Chief Gerera said, “But it’s fine, we have enough evidence that she won’t have to appear so much.”

“Thank you,” Rey said.

It was almost over. She had to tell Ben.

The media would probably go crazy too once they make an arrest. She was worried it’d affect Ben’s work seeing as he’s her boyfriend. Would the press ask him about it too? Would they hound him all the way in New York?

“It’s going to be okay, Rey.” Phasma finally said, “We’re all here for you,” She patted Rey’s head and gave her a reassuring smile.

She looked up at the people surrounding her and smiled too.

—

Chief Gerera worked _fast_. It only took him another week to arrest DJ in a sting operation and she’d gone down to the station to identify him as the man who’d approached her during the concert.

She was behind the one-way glass and was actually in the middle of another session with Chirrut when the chief called. Finn drove them down to the station and Chirrut had actually joined them. She wasn’t sure if it was still part of his duties as her doctor but she was grateful for his soothing presence nonetheless.

It was strange seeing him on the other side of the glass.

He seemed to look straight at her and gave her a toothy smile, “I k-know you’re there,” He said in a strange sing-song tone, “We had a lot of fun, huh?”

“Alright, DJ, let’s just get this over with,” She saw one of Chief Gerera’s officers enter and sit opposite him, “You’re pretty much giving a confession, you know,”

DJ’s smile widened, “I know.” He said, “It was all fun and games, man.”

“So, stalking and causing emotional distress is fun and games?”

“Hmph, that’s mean you know, I let you catch me to show you my sincerity.” He glanced at the one-way mirror again and Rey flinched, “I love you, Rey,” He said loudly and she reeled back, grimacing, as he laughed.

“That crazy fuck,” Finn snarled beside her. He had his arms around her, “Can we go now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: This is DJ 


	162. What's It Like In New York City?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've caught up to myself so this is just really short :( :( :( but I am _so_ glad that the stalker arc is over because man that was so hard to write for me and I'm mostly a romance-focusing kinda gal so I suffer from withdrawal 🥺 
> 
> -X

Ben couldn’t go back to LA even if he wanted. He had no choice but to watch the proceedings in the news and online. Rey was never alone, of that he was glad. At least she always had someone with her.

He sighed heavily, remembering the reporters shouting questions from outside court. Rey was always led in and she never answered questions but that asshole on the other hand seemed to relish the attention.

He’d said he loved Rey but never wanted to actually have her, that she was a star meant to be viewed from afar. How long had he been watching her?

Both his managers and even Rey had told him not to comment about anything and he hated not being able to help. His co-workers didn’t ask either, only if she was okay and how he was doing. They all knew how delicate this situation was for both of their careers.

Somehow he felt like it was his fault she was in this predicament in the first place. He ran his fingers through his hair and stretched his back. He still wore the shoulder holsters they’d put on him.

They were going to film again after a three-hour break and he wanted nothing more than a shower and a burger in that order.

Of course, he can’t. It was still too early for either and he didn’t want to have to spend another god-knows how many hours sitting on a chair having his hair and make up down again. He flopped on the small bed in the trailer and jerked away when someone yelped. He landed on the floor.

Shit. Did someone manage to sneak in? It wouldn’t be the first time he and his coworkers were ambushed by fans and it wouldn’t be the last either.

“You’re heavy,” She pushed the blankets off and grinned, “Surprise,”

She’d gotten thinner and her usual golden hue looked paler. Even her freckles seemed to have lightened.

“Rey,” He laughed incredulously, “Christ, how did you…”

“On a plane, of course,” She said, sliding off the bed and onto the carpeted floor so she can sit facing him, “Hux picked us up,”

“Us?”

She slid forward and onto his lap, holding him tight, almost like a koala. “Me and Rose. I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” He mumbled and she sniffled, “What about your bodyguards?”

“They’ll arrive tomorrow,” She said. He could feel her heart pound; was she nervous? They haven’t seen each other in person in over a month, that one evening he spent with her wasn’t nearly enough. She kissed his neck and he stifled a shiver.

“I’m worried about you,” He murmured.

“I’m…okay,” She said, “I feel better now that I’m with you.” She sat up; her eyes were wet, “I feel safest with you,”

He cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch, “I couldn’t even do anything to help,”

“Being there is enough,” She insisted and gripped his hand, “You don’t need to do anything, just stay with me.”

“I always would if I could,” He leaned forward to capture the lips he’d been craving for for the past month and sighed when she kissed him back. His tongue slid into his mouth and she mewled sweetly. She was wearing those cutoffs that he loved and he couldn’t help but brush his hands up on the outside of her thighs.

She pulled away, panting, “You look good with this,” She said softly, tugging at the holsters on either side of his chest, “Like a real detective,”

“Hm?” He arched a brow and smiled wryly, “Have a thing for holsters and detectives, do you?”

She bit her lip and met his eyes under her lashes, “What if I do?”

“Should I worry?” He leaned close and her breath hitched, “Should I tie my baby girl up to make sure she doesn’t go off and find herself a real detective? Or would you prefer handcuffs? I can probably filch one from the props department,”

She squirmed on his lap and he chuckled. This time, _she_ kissed _him_.


	163. They've Got Planes And Trains And Cars

It was the first time she rode a plane after that one trip from the UK. Unlike when she and Rose sent Ben and Hux off, this time they went to the regular terminal.

There was a lot of people rushing around and weighing their luggages. Finn and Poe had brought them, telling them to contact them as soon as they land.

Poe wasn’t happy that she’d go ahead of her guards. Nor was he happy with the fact that she wanted to fly coach when he could easily get her business or even first class. She may not be as big of a name as Ben who had a membership in the Private Suite but she was still popular. Though they’d delayed her new album but she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it off indefinitely. The media storm that the stalker incident had caused actually gave her more followers and her name had become almost as household as Ben Solo.

So while she was still on the billboard number one, she should at least take advantage of that and produce more music.

She and Rose had queued up and waited for their turn. The agent on the counter printed their boarding passes and did a double-take when she saw Rey’s drivers’ license. Her brows furrowed, like she was wondering where she’d seen her before.

“Is there a problem?” She asked and the lady flushed before handing her the boarding pass and her ID back.

“Not at all, Ms. Johnson. Here’s your boarding pass,” She encircled the boarding gatenumber with a bright pink highlighter and reminded her of the boarding time, “Thank you for flying with us,”

Rey thanked her and smiled, shouldering her small leather backpack.

“Let’s go,” Rose said and linked their arms together, “I want to get coffee before we go,”

It felt nice knowing that things were finally settling down. Once DJ was apprehended Poe and Leia had allowed her to start going out again even for just a little bit. Of course, it wasn’t as though she wanted to go out in the first place but she felt safer now that he was locked up.

She’d even gone back to the penthouse though Rose still stayed with her. She’d turned into something like a guard dog, staring people down if they try to approach. That used to be what Finn did for her and vice versa.

But Rose was strong on her own. She admired how her friend could be so strong and cheerful all the time.

They bought their coffee and passed through the X-rays. Some people stopped them for pictures and autographs. It wasn’t as hectic as she’d thought it’d be.

Was it because Rose insisted they leave early?

They sat in the waiting area for their boarding gate and waited.

“Armie’s picking us up while Ben’s filming so he shouldn’t notice he’s gone.” Rose said. Rey nodded and flinched when she saw another news coverage on her case flashing on TV.

“I’m a little nervous,” Rey said, “I haven’t been on a plane in almost twenty years. I barely even remember it,”

“Don’t worry, it’s only weird when there’s turbulence but you like roller coasters too, right? It’s kind of like that when the plane drops a little.” Rose chattered on but she wasn’t sure if she should be worried that Rose compared riding a plane to a roller coaster.

The boarding announcement rang out and they waited for the line to get short before they entered the plane.

She was grateful Rose had gotten her the window seat. It was a little tight and the leg space wasn’t exactly comfortable but it was fine. She browsed the in-flight magazine and bounced her leg nervously.

Rose had started to watch a movie.

Should she watch one too? Would there be one with Ben in it? She actually hasn’t watched one of his since they started dating. Would she feel strange or would it feel like she was watching a different person?

It was so hard keeping this a secret from him.

She wondered if he’d be happy to see her.

In the end she watched one movie and fell asleep the rest of the time. There was something different about sleeping on a plane; like she was being rocked but not really. She hasn’t had a decent sleep in months.

She yawned a little and followed Rose through the airport. They grabbed their luggages and Rose practically flew into Hux’s arms when she saw him.

She wasn’t sure who looked more likely to cry, Hux or Rose.

Her heart pounded. She’d see Ben soon.

She missed him. She’d never felt like this before; like a part of her was missing.

“Christ, Rosie,” Hux laughed, “How could you just leave Rey to bring you luggage around?”

“Oh shit,” Rose actually flushed and Rey laughed.

“It’s alright,” She said and handed off Rose’s bright yellow luggage to Hux. He grabbed hers too despite her protests.

“Learn to rely on your friends more, yeah?” Hux said, giving her a smile, “Ben’s still filming so I’ll bring you to his trailer. You just wait there and surprise him. He’ll have a break at around three for three hours.”

Rose waggled her eyebrows are Rey and she flushed.

“How are you?” Hux asked. He stowed their bags and her guitar in the trunk of the rental.

“I’m good,” Rey said, “Chirrut’s been a great help.”

Hux nodded, “Dr. Imwe’s notorious for being _too_ good. He’s almost like a magician of sorts.”

“Really?” She slid into the backseat. Rose sat in front.

“Yes. He’s also very picky with his clients,” They drove through the busy streets of New York and Rey looked around with awe.

The streets were tighter, more densely packed than in LA and it looked so gloomy despite the colourful signs around them and everyone seems to be rushing somewhere. 

Would she be alright staying here even with Ben?

Plus he’s working so there’d be times when she’d be left alone.

Since when had she become so complacent? She shook her head. Of course she’ll be fine. She’s lived most of her life alone and overcame hardships one way or another.

She’ll definitely be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss riding aeroplanes now. Seriously. At one point in my life I was sick of it but now I really, really want to go on one again. I even miss the plane food. :( 
> 
> On one hand: A pro tip I learned; depending on which airline you take, even if you're not i first class/business class you can ask for some of the things from there (ie specialty drink, caviar, cup noodles, etc.) as long as you ask very, very nicely :)
> 
> -X


	164. Dreamers With Empty Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Autumn in New York by Ella Fitzgerald
> 
> Posting early tonight because I'm tired af and fibromyalgia (Yes it is real despite what others say) is flaring up 😞 probably the strange weather we're having recently.
> 
> -X

Ben didn’t touch her.

At all.

She had never felt so sexually frustrated in her life.

He’d held her, kissed her and teased her for _three hours_ before kissing her again and going back to the set.

She flopped down on the small bed and groaned. He still had a couple of hours of filming to do and though he offered to bring her around, she didn’t want to make everyone else feel uncomfortable.

Should she try writing? She hasn’t been able to concentrate these past two months and she’s way behind schedule.

She pulled out her notebook and frowned. She already finished the song for Ben early on and she was halfway through with Poe and Finn’s love story. Still, it wasn’t easy showing people just how special and mature and _comfortable_ their love really is. She hoped people could relate.

She’d also started writing something Leia inspired. They’d gotten closer these last couple of months and she’d told Rey many things while she accompanied her while she drank. She told her of how painful it was hiding her relationship with Han, of how she had to ignore the other people clinging onto him and how even in his last days he wanted to show her that he wasn’t afraid to die. She told Rey of how lonely she was without him and how she was waiting for the time to come when she’d see him again.

They had a pretty large age gap and Han didn’t exactly take care of his body the years before he met Leia.

Would she be able to write it like a child looking at her own parents? Her mum had been old and she never had a husband so the closest she could look to was Leia. Would Ben like it? She’d love for him to sing it.

There was a knock on the trailer door and she looked through the peephole to see Hux and Rose. She opened the door.

“We saw Ben head out,” Rose said, grinning, “How was the reunion?” She looked around the small space, “We can sit anywhere right, there aren’t any wet spots or anything?”

“Rose!” Hux’s face turned red so fast Rey wondered if he’d suddenly have an aneurysm.

She made a face, “What? You’re thinking it too,”

Rey snorted back a laugh, “No, there isn’t.” She said, “We didn’t do anything, we just hung out,”

“No way?” Rose’s eyes widened, “Man, I thought he’d be all over you seeing how you were covered in bruises last time.”

Hux sighed, “Taken out of context that sounds very bad.”

“Yeah,” Rose grimaced, “Sorry. Would you prefer the word ‘hickey’ or ‘love bite’,”

“None of those sound good,” Rey said, laughing a little, “How about ‘mark’ instead?”

Rose nodded and Hux squirmed, “Can we _please_ not discuss other people’s sex lives. At least, not when I’m here.”

“What? You’ve known Ben since you were kids right? You’ve probably seen him naked.” Rose shrugged.

“Finn said you were in the shower with him,” Rey teased and Rose gasped at her boyfriend.

“It’s not like that!” Hux had turned a deep shade of red, “We were teammates in rugby so _of course_ we had the same locker room and the showers didn’t have stalls,”

Rose giggled, “You’re so cute when you blush,” She said and he turned even redder. Rey cocked her head sideways. She loved watching them; the level of comfort that they had was akin to one of childhood friendship that naturally evolved into a partnership. They were two very different people but they still somehow complemented each other.

She knew then what she wanted the overall theme of her new album would be.

It’d be a study on the different kinds of romantic love, mixing the passionate, almost angry riff of the guitars with the softer, comforting tones of a piano.

She jotted it down quickly while Hux and Rose continued their banter.

“Shouldn’t you go back to work?” Rose finally asked, “You can’t just stop working you know and Rey’s here so we can hang out for a bit.”

Hux made a face, “Yes, yes I know.” He gave Rose a peck on the forehead and waved half-heartedly before leaving.

“So, what are your plans tonight?” Rose asked, “And for the rest of the week? We can check out the town while the guys are working. I hear their library is _amazing,_ ”

Rey had honestly never heard of Ossining until recently and she was glad that at least one of them their research.

“I’m not sure but Ben said he really wanted a burger and that there’s a couple across town that were pretty good,” She said and Rose nodded, “We can go around town too. Apparently they’ll finish filming in this location soon and we’ll be moving to Brooklyn.”

“Right. Armie said the apartment he rented was right below Ben’s. It’d be fun playing the housewife, don’t you think?” Rose grinned and Rey remembered that, oh yeah, she was getting married, “We can visit each other and cook and bake and like, gossip about how great our husbands are.”

Rey flushed a little, “He’s not my husband,”

“Yet.” Rose’s smile widened, “Have you two talked about it yet?”

Have they? “Not really…?” Do the talks about babies count?

“I can’t wait for it to happen,” Rose said, squealing a little, “Don’t you?”

Of course she does. She flushed and Rose giggled.


	165. Sing Once Again With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber
> 
> I tried to be as accurate as I could so the police precincts in Black Kkklansman was actually made in the sound stages across Brooklyn. Also I've only ever been to New York once so I'm not as well versed in the area as LA. 
> 
> -X

They move to a small apartment in Brooklyn near the sound stages where the team had built the building that served as the police precinct.

Rey had busied herself with writing and exploring the area with Rose. She’d also met some of Ben’s coworkers when she’d popped by to visit. She even posted some pictures of food and of the set with permission of course.

Things settled down as though nothing happened in the last two months and she was glad to have some form of normalcy. People still stopped her in the street and every once in a while she’d spot a pap trailing her but otherwise, things were more or less peaceful.

Of course, that still didn’t stop the night terrors but having Ben in bed with her usually calmed her down quicker than if she’d have been alone.

She’d sent a couple of songs to Poe and he was getting ready for them to record when she flies back to LA. Truthfully she didn’t want to leave but she couldn’t possibly stay for long, could she? A month at most.

His schedule was still packed but Hux had said that he was able to concentrate better ever since she arrived thus making them save time on reshoots. Still, he always came home exhausted.

Sundays were his off days and she really wished he’d rest on those days but for the past two weeks he’d been bringing her out on dates saying that he didn’t have much time with her. She didn’t really mind.

True, she missed him but she didn’t want him to get sick. She was perfectly happy to stay home. So when the dress arrived, she wasn’t sure what to think.

Was there a party or something they had to attend? She didn’t hear anything like that from Ben or Hux and Rose had no idea either.

As usual he came home late.

“So, what’s with the dress?” She asked, watching him wolf down the stew and crusty bread she’d made, “Are we attending something?”

“Oh, it arrived.” He gave her a small, contented smile, “Did it fit? Do you like it?”

She laughed, “Yes, I like it. What’s it for?”

He stood and went into the bedroom before coming back and handing her an envelope.

Inside were two tickets to The Phantom of the Opera for this coming Sunday.

She blinked back her shock. When did he buy these?

“You don’t want to?” He asked, a frown starting to form on his pouty lips.

“Of course I want to!” She said quickly, “I’ve only ever watched it online and I watched the 25th anniversary one so many times that Finn got so sick of it.”

His smile was slow and smug, “Don’t worry, I won’t get sick of it if you sing it. Should I do a duet with you?” He arched a brow, still smiling and her breath hitched.

She didn’t like Christine one bit but a duet with Ben would be amazing. Would they be able to do a quick one before she leaves?

“Is that a promise?” She asked and his smile widened.

“If it’d make my little songstress happy then of course,”

She grinned and gave him a smacking kiss.


	166. To This Kingdom Where We All Must Pay Homage To Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've watched Phantom of the Opera live three times now and I swear it never stops to amaze me every time. (Actually had a fanfic of Phantom of the Opera I never posted or finished from back when I was in college because I ship Erik and Meg lol I should probably go back to it it's almost finished too last I checked hmm Reylo AU anyone?).
> 
> -X

Hux and Rose dropped them off in Times Square and from there they walked. She stopped to take a couple of pictures of the iconic building. She’d passed it by during the day but it was nothing compared to how it looked at night. All the neon lights and the broadway posters made it hard for her to focus on just one thing.

Ben was already a little ahead of her. She snapped a picture when he turned and grinned, “We’ll be late,” He teased and she took his hand. It was a lot colder here than in LA and she shivered. No wonder Ben got her stockings to go with her dress. She wondered what she was thinking coming here in cut-offs. She’d had to go on an unscheduled shopping trip just to get a few warmer clothing.

They walked down the Broadway District, passing by a Madame Tussauds and a few other theatres. It seemed even more crowded than Hollywood if she were honest.

They stopped in front of The Majestic Theatre where a large sign showing a white mask was posted. They took a few pictures together before going inside.

They found their seats quickly, almost at eye-level and she sat on the plush seat next to him.

“You’re buzzing,” He said quietly while she took more pictures, “You seem more excited for this than when first met,”

She looked up at him and blinked innocently, “But I thought you liked that I was stunned speechless?”

His eyes widened before chuckling, “It seems you’re getting cheekier,”

“Are you going to punish me?” She winked and he laughed again, a little louder this time. Someone shushed him and he turned and gave an apologetic smile to the person who looked stunned when he realised who it was.

“You’d enjoy that,” He murmured.

Reminders to turn phones to silent mode were repeated. They wouldn’t be allowed to take pictures or videos during the play itself so she settled back in her seat and flipped through the playbill. The theatre darkened.

She could feel Ben’s gaze on her.

The curtains rose as Act I started. Actors walked stiffly onto the dim stage, almost like robots.

_Sold, your number, sir. Thank you. Lot 663 then…_

The auction continued, the actors raising their paddles slowly before lowering it again. She watched with rapt attention, leaning a little out of her seat when the paper-mache monkey was brought out.

 _Still in working order, ladies and gentlemen._ The music box played softly and Ben took her hand. She glanced at him and grinned.

_Sold to the Vicomte de Chagny. Thank you once again, sir._

_A collectors’ piece, indeed. Every detail, exactly as she said._

She tried not to sing along too loudly and Ben squeezed her hand again.

Lot 666 came out and she sat up even straighter.

 _Perhaps we may even frighten away the ghosts of so many years ago, with a little…illumination. Gentlemen!_ There was a flash and the chandelier came to life, flashing brightly and rising slowly up to the ceiling.

Goosebumps rose on her arms when the orchestra blared out the overture. She couldalmost feel the power of the instruments in the air and she couldn’t look away.

It was her mum who first introduced it to her. She thought the movie was great all things considered and she just fell in love with the music.

When the scene changed, she finally sat back again and leaned her head on Ben’s shoulder.

“Looks like you’re really enjoying it, huh?” He murmured and she grinned up at him.

They didn’t talk all throughout the first half of the play except when she’d pointed out that _Music of the Night_ was her favourite song. Ben had just smiled at her like he already knew. He kissed the back of her hand once.

How would Ben sound as Erik Destler? He’s not classically trained from what she knew but she thought he’d sound amazing on stage like this.

There was a short intercession and they both went on a quick toilet break. As usual they were stopped by a few people trying to confirm if he really _was_ that actor. She waited for him while people took pictures with him and he looked relieved when it was announced that the show was about to start again.

They took their seats again.

The play reached its climax.

_Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair, down we plunge towards the prison of my mind._

The actor sang with such pain that it tugged at her heart. Tears welled up in a eyes and she sniffled a little. _Why you ask, was I bound and chained in this cold and dismal place?_

The Phantom himself was such a complicated, obsessive character but from the moment she saw his character, she understood the loneliness that he felt in the same way she understood her own. She knew how difficult it was to be left alone since childhood, to not know your parents but know that they threw you away, that you weren’t worth anything to them. _Not for any mortal sin but the wickedness of my abhorrent face!_

Ben squeezed her hand and handed her his handkerchief silently.

_Hounded out by everyone, met with hatred everywhere. No kind word from anyone, no compassion anywhere, Christine, why? Why?_

She never liked Christine and how she flitted back and forth between sensuality and innocence to fit what she wanted and what Raoul saw her as.

But most of all, she didn’t like her because she abandoned the Phantom for a man who didn’t even believe her and pushed aside her terror as a hallucination.

It didn’t excuse how much of a bad person The Phantom was but she felt that abandonment and stark loneliness in her heart, which was why her heart always went out to him no matter which chapter of her life she was in.

 _Christine I love you._ Her throat tightened.

She heard the same loneliness and pain she saw in Ben’s mournful eyes that he tried so hard to hide from everyone.

The play ended with The Phantom disappearing and Meg Giry holding up his bone-white mask.

The curtains dropped and moments later the actors came out with the music box signed by everyone on the cast, announcing that it’s being sold along with a few other items they’ve signed.

She wondered if she should buy a poster just for memory’s sake. They went back in and the curtains opened up again.

The cast were all lined up and they all came forward to bow. She applauded alongside the rest of the crowd.

It was a nostalgic feeling, the end to a play. It was the same feeling as when you finish a movie or a book; like you’d escaped from reality for a few scant hours and all of a sudden it was back to reality when you really didn’t want to leave the fictional world you’d created in your head. It was jarring to say the least.

Ben took her hand again and smiled.

She’d return to reality any day if he was there.

She smiled back.

“Did you enjoy it?” His eyes twinkled as he asked the question he already knew the answer to. She grinned.

“Of course,” She said, “It was amazing. What did you think?”

They filed out of the theatre, into the small mezzanine lobby with the shops. She looked around distractedly, “We can talk about it over dinner,” He said, “Why don’t we look around, see if you want anything,”

She nodded. At some point while she was looking at the sweaters, he disappeared. She frowned and looked around. It was surprising how he can just suddenly disappear seeing as how tall he was. She stood on her toes and craned her neck, yelping when his arm wrapped around her waist.

“Where’d you go?” She asked with a small laugh.

“Not buying anything?” He asked. She shook her head.

“Maybe next time,” She said and glanced at the bag in his hand, “What did you get?”

“You’ll see when we get home.” He said, “I thought you wanted to wait at the stage door?”

She gasped, “Right! You can’t watch a play without waiting at the stage door! Let's go!” She grabbed his hand and heard him chuckle.


	167. Sing Once Again With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My memories of New York are a little fuzzy BUT I did watch the play there and I looked at the photos to make sure I got the details right. I also have an ungodly amount of playbills. I'm not sure why. Some people just leave theirs so I just...got them? Plus I had them signed too but only by Christine (Kaley Ann Voorhees; she has IG!) and The Phantom (Laird Mackintosh; he has a website!) because we got lost and missed the others 😢. Y was super starstruck with Christine though because she's super cute and bubbly and stole our sister's pen (she was also the youngest person to play Christine in the New York production; I looked through one of my many, many playbills). 
> 
> -X

They were waiting for the actors to come out at the stage door. According to the burly security guard, none of them had come out yet.

While they waited people asked for pictures and autographs of them instead and when the actors _did_ come out, they looked equally starstruck as Rey did.

It took a lot longer than expected for them to get all of the signatures. He wasn’t really sure what Rey would do with it but she seemed happy enough. He’d given her his own playbill too so she’d have two copies.

After the pictures and signatures they walked hand-in-hand down Times Square again to a tiny pizza store with a large red and white sign in Carmine Street.

“I read that this place has the best pizza in New York,” He said, slipping into the crowded place and tugging her along, “Find us a table?”

She nodded.

He lined up. It was noisy and crowded but he didn’t mind. Good pizza’s good pizza after all and that play had him starving. He was sure Rey was too, what with the weather and the crying.

He ordered three of every flavour and added extra pepperonis on the plain and the stocky man with the heavy Bronx accent asked him, “You sure?”

He gave him a smile, “My girl and I eat a lot,”

He gave him a doubtful look but called out the order anyway.

“Hey, isn’t that Ben Solo?” He heard the whispers behind him.

“And two iced teas,” He added. The man jerked his head towards the chiller in the corner and Ben inclined his head.

They’d put their pizzas into two pizza boxes and he might’ve underestimated the size of it. Hux would probably scold him if he finds out how much calories he’d eaten.

“It is! And isn’t that that rockstar? His girlfriend?” Rey beamed when he came back with their pizza and drinks. Nine giant slices each. If they don’t finish they could always bring it home no problem. She already had the hot sauce and parmesan ready.

They leaned on the long counter by the wall with the pictures, “Wow, this place is popular,” She said, pouring out the hot sauce and dumping a whole load of cheese on her pizza, “Maybe next time you’ll be there too,”

He grunted and took a bite of his pizza.

“Oh my god, I don’t know if I’m just really hungry but this is so good,” He couldn’t help but smile at how happy she looked as she devoured her first slice and moved on to the second, dumping some more hot sauce and cheese as she went, “So what did you think of the play? Who did you like more? Among The Phantom and Raoul, I mean.”

“None of them,” He chuckled and she looked affronted, “What? The Phantom was a creep and that Raoul was a dickwad.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” She frowned, “I just find Raoul so _dull_ and he didn’t even believe her when she was saying that The Phantom was real. I can’t believe she chose the safe guy when she obviously didn’t want to,”

He laughed, “If she stayed she’d probably have died? And I don’t think she chose the safe option. She chose the _rich_ option,”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I mean, come on, he’s a viscount or something right? And he’s the patron of the opera so that means he’s fucking rich,”

“That’s true,” He could almost see the gears turning in her head.

“And I kinda read spoilers about Love Never Dies.” He shrugged and she laughed.

“Okay, yeah, I can see that.” She said, “In the end she went back to him, huh?”

“Yeah because they’re not rich anymore.”

“Couldn’t it be because she really did love Erik?”

“Nope, I don’t think so.” It was a harsh judgement but what did he know anyway? He’d never been in a real relationship before Rey and he’d never loved anyone before either. All he knew were accounts of his grandparents and his parents, both couples falling in love almost at first sight.

He didn’t believe in that before but hey, maybe it was a family trait after all, just like what his mother said.

They chatted some more about the play and he helped her decide what picture to post online. They’d ended up with the picture they took outside of The Majestic. He shared it too, captioning it with ‘ _So, what’s our next duet going to be? #SingOnceAgainWithMe’_

She giggled when she saw it.

They ate and chatted and laughed some more, stuck in their own little world for the most part. It would be nice to come back to New York for a vacation. Or maybe somewhere less frantic, like New Orleans. She seemed like she’d enjoy New Orleans. They could even go on a road trip, just the two of them, hopping from state to state.

Or maybe he’ll join her on her tour while he’s not filming anything. Leia used to do that back when Han was still active. She’d tour with him three, four months out of the six. Rey wasn’t as big as Han and the Chewies yet so she’d start with festivals first and maybe two or three weeks across the country.

He wondered if she’d let him join her team. He’d offer to do backups for her but he knew she wouldn’t agree. He was already toeing the line suggesting they sing together again. One false move from him would bring down the wrath of her haters down on her, saying that she’s only with him for his star power.

He wanted to preserve that smile of hers.

He wanted to show her only good things, happy things.

She deserved nothing less.

A portly man with white hair in a white shirt and a black apron around his waist approached them tentatively. He gave them a cheerful smile.

Ben touched Rey’s arm.

“Good evening, how do you like the pizza?” He asked, looking expectantly at both of them. He recognised the man in some of the pictures on the wall.

“They weren’t kidding when they said it’s the best pizza in New York,” He said and watched as the man’s moustache twitch up with his lips.

“We’re honoured,” He said, eyeing the already-half-empty boxes, “Would it be possible to take a photograph with you two? After you eat, I mean.”

Ben looked at Rey who nodded, “Sure. We can take one now,”

“I can take your photo,” Rey offered and the man shook his head.

“No, no, you too.” He called for another person to come take their photo and Ben wrapped his arm around Rey.

They took a couple of photos and the man thanked them, asking if they wanted anything else. He shook his head ‘no’.

More people came to take their photos.

“It’s okay,” Rey said with a small laugh. She must’ve seen his expression, “A few pictures won’t hurt and cold pizza’s still pretty good.”

He could spare a few moments, he supposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based Ben's reaction here to Z's (Ze boyfriend) reaction to the play when we watched it (and also how he'd looked up spoilers on Love Never Dies too because I watched it when it became free on YouTube for a time last year because of the pandemic and he knew I would want to talk about it with someone)
> 
> The pizza place in Carmine St. is Joe's Pizza. One of their branches was featured in the 2004 Spiderman 2 movie I think? as Han's Pizzeria (lol maybe we should've gone with that name instead?). The pizza really is GREAT and I am really currently craving for it (dear lord has it already been a month since my last war with the uterus?) 
> 
> Anyway ya'll should try it out if you somehow find yourself in New York. And also the bagels (but then again bagels are great everywhere imo) 
> 
> Also wow this fic has become kind of like a food/activity recommendation huh? I know I incorporated a few LA restaurants too lol.
> 
> -X


	168. Sing, My Angel Of Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMO Music of the Night is the hottest song in Phantom of the Opera but it's not a duet so we won't be using that here 😢
> 
> Y says All I Ask Of You is sang by the shittiest person (people?) so that's a no go either.
> 
> -X

Ben’s tweet about a duet became a really big deal. A lot of people were suggesting songs and Poe had called her to let her know that he’d started arranging a mini-tour for her. It wouldn’t be for the next couple of months so she had time to build up her portfolio and drop a new album. He also suggested a couple of song and sent her a link of Nightwish’s cover of The Phantom of the Opera and another one of Jonathan Young.

“So, I guess we’ll go for a classic, huh?” Ben murmured. They were cuddled up in bed while watching the videos, her back to his front, “‘ _Think of Me’_ is also pretty good.” It was one of those rare Saturdays that he got to go home a little early.

“You won’t have a lot of singing parts there,” She said, “And I can’t see you as Raoul,”

“What, don’t think I can play the part of rich dandy?”

She giggled, “I’m sure you can. You already have the rich, extravagant part down pat.”

“I’m not extravagant,” He nuzzled her hair, “I just know my priorities,”

“You’re spoiling me too much,” She said with a laugh. He closed the laptop and placed it on the bedside table for her.

“Rey,” His sigh was a chuckle, “I love you.”

She bit her lip and squirmed, flushing a little. She’d never get tired of hearing that, “I love you too.” His arms tightened around her and he leaned his head on her shoulder.

Ben had somehow found a mask for himself and she couldn’t help but stare while he fiddled with her guitar. She was glad she decided to bring the red one instead of the pink one. The things he’d bought her were laid out neatly on the replaced coffee table and she tried not to think so much about the cost of that monkey. The silver signatures gleamed, almost mocking her. Still, she couldn’t help but love it anyway in the same way she loved the Phantom teddy bear he’d also gotten her.

They started by introducing themselves as usual, Rey holding the bear and Ben the music box. He cranked the music box and _‘Masquerade’_ tinkled. The monkey clapped the cymbals together slowly.

“These are the souvenirs we got,” She said, “Look,” She held the bear up, “He’s wearing a cape and a mask! His name’s Erik.” She beamed at the camera, “Really, it was such a great experience! If you guys are ever in New York, you should _definitely_ go see a play.”

“I also got Rey a jacket but it’s still in the wash,” Ben added conversationally, “Anyway, we’ve promised a duet so let me just put our little Persian monkey away,” He placed it back on the coffee table. He sat back on the chair they’d propped up against the typical exposed brick wall of a New York apartment and cradled the guitar.

“I gotta stand up for this one,” Rey laughed. She wore a white dress that flowed around her delicately, “I’m not sure if I can hit the high notes but I’ll try my best. So, here’s Phantom of the Opera.”

Ben started up the intro and she bit her lip. He looked like a modern-day Phantom with his white button down, slacks and leather shoes. She gripped the bear tightly, _“In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came,”_ He met her eyes, _“That voice which calls to me, and speaks my name,”_ He gave her a small smile and mouthed her name. It took everything in her power not to stutter, _“And do I dream again? For now I find, the Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind.”_

 _“Sing once again with me, our strange duet,”_ His voice sent shivers down her spine, _“My power over you, grows stronger yet,”_ She unconsciously drew closer to him, _“And though you turn from me, to glance behind. The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind.”_

He stood as she sang her part, _“I am the mask you wear,” He took the bear from her and placed it on the chair._

 _“It’s me they hear,”_ He crooned and leaned down so his nose brushed hers, _“Your spirit and my voice in one combined,”_ They started out the duet, his dark voice blending in so seamlessly with hers.

 _“The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind.”_ She switched tones quickly to do the backup.

 _“In all your fantasies, you always knew,”_ He’d stopped playing the guitar to brush his fingers down her cheek. Her breath hitched, _“That man and mystery,”_

She almost missed her line and her voice wavered a little, “ _Were both in you.”_ Why did it feel like he was seducing her? He slid the guitar off completely as they started singing together again, _“And in this labyrinth, where night is blind,”_

His arm slipped around her waist, _“The Phantom of the Opera is here, inside your mind,”_

Would she be able to vocalise properly with him being so close to her? The look in his eyes was scorching. He wasn’t kidding when he said he fell into character really quickly and deeply at that. He would definitely fit the stage.

He stepped away, _“Sing!”_ Her voice grew louder. She’d practiced a couple of times and hoped it was enough. Of course, she’ll never reach the pitch she needed to actually sing this part so she tried to lower it down, make it her own, in a way, _“Sing, my Angel of Music,”_ She took a deep breath, _“Sing for me!”_ She was breathless and wide-eyed, wondering if she actually did it or she was hallucinating, _“I have brought you, to the seat of sweet music’s throne,”_ He brushed her cheek again, _“To this kingdom where all must pay homage to music,”_ She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

 _“Since the moment I first heard you sing I have needed you with me to serve me, to sing, for my music.”_ He finished softly, sounding almost as breathless as she was.

She met his eyes and for a moment they just stared at each other.

Then, he leaned down and captured her lips in a heated kiss. She moaned, closed her eyes and threw her arms around his neck. It took another moment for her to remember that the camera was still on.

She gasped and pulled away, “Ben,” She sounded whiney even in her own ears, “The camera’s still on,”

His lip twitched up, “Edit it out later,” He murmured, leaning down again for another kiss, “I know you saved it last time,” She giggled breathlessly and pushed before his mouth could reach her throat.

“We should end the video,” She said and he sighed heavily before giving her a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The teddy bear exists IRL! I have one 😉 Z bought it for me when we went to watch.


	169. In All Your Fantasies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS IS LITERALLY JUST SMUT because #SmutIsGreat #KinkySex #Roleplay 🔥 🔥 🔥 
> 
> SKIP IF YOU DON'T WANT GRAPHIC SMUT. 
> 
> -X

His mouth didn’t leave hers as they stumbled into the bedroom. He’d lost his shoes and was halfway out of his shirt though he still hasn’t removed the mask. He pushed her dress up impatiently and they stumbled gracelessly onto the bed.

“Ben!” She gasped when he bit her shoulder. He pushed her dress up her chest and fumbled with the clasp of her bra. She helped him push it completely off and arched her back when his mouth wandered close to her pebbled nipple.

He ignored it completely, instead pressing kisses and nipping on the skin around it, making her shiver.

She felt the prominent bulge pressing against her leg and she squirmed. He leaned away, “Don’t move,” He growled and produced a tie from the drawer. Her eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat.

He wouldn’t…would he?

He brought her hands together and wrapped the silk her wrists and tied them together. His eyes were dark but they gleamed with an almost sadistic gleam. She shivered. This was the first time he’d tied her up. Did he actually prepare for this?

She shouldn’t have been surprise that Ben liked to role-play.

“Don’t move,” He said again, softer this time, “I want to look at you, my little Angel of Music.” She felt the flush rise up her throat and to her face, “You look good in white,” The dress was still partially on her though he’d already thrown her bra somewhere behind him. All that was left were the pair of lacy white panties that were becoming more and more uncomfortable as she got wetter. She rubbed her thighs together and his lip twitched up, “Didn’t I say not to move? Should I…tie your legs up too?”

Her breath hitched and he chuckled.

“Next time,” He whispered and unbuckled his belt. She bit her lip and watched as he slowly pulled it out of the belt loops. He popped open his slacks and pulled the zipper down slowly.

He pushed his pants just low enough for his cock to spring out and she stifled a whimper. It never ceases to amaze her just how he always manages to fit inside her. He inched her panties down her thighs slowly before he brought it up to his face.

Her face turned hotter and she could see the his grin from behind the thin lace.

“Spread your legs for me, Angel,” She might have a new favourite pet name now with how he softly he whispered and rolled his words together.

He didn’t help her like he usually did and it was a little strange if not exhilarating to be spreading her own legs so shamelessly while tied up like this. The bone-white maskmade him look especially sinister.

“Good girl,” He purred. His cock bobbed against his shirt as he knelt between her thighs. He took himself in hand to notch the head against her. He leaned forward and brushed his thumb over her lower lip, pressing a little until she stopped biting. He pushed his thumb in and she licked, “You should stop biting, you’ll cut yourself.” She sucked his thumb in and he smirked, “Good girl,” He said again right before jerking his hips forward.

She gasped, eyes widening at sudden stretch and fullness as he seated himself inside her in one thrust. He kept his thumb in her mouth, pressing down on her tongue a little. She tightened around him and he groaned.

“You like being tied up so much, huh?” He growled, “Or is it the mask?” She couldn’t answer because his thumb was still in her mouth. All she could do was moan as he thrust inside her roughly. His other hand dug into her thigh, spreading one leg wider so he can push deeper inside her.

His hips snapped against her faster and he shook, face flushed, like he was still trying to hold back. His pushed her wrists up, over her head and kissed her roughly.

“Cum,” He growled and nipped her ear, “Cum for me, My Angel of Music,” She gasped and clenched tight around him as he groaned out a perverse parody of the song they just sang, “Cum for me!”

She shrieked as she came and her vision blanked out for a second. He thrust into her hard and groaned as he spilt himself in the deepest parts of her, marking her as his as he always did.

If she didn’t have an IUD she’d long since been pregnant by now. She fluttered around him and he groaned again before pushing back the hair that’d plastered itself on his sweaty forehead.

He was still inside her, twitching a little when he untied the silk around her wrists. She rubbed them a little before reaching up to push the mask off his face and pulling him down for a kiss.

He melted into her embrace and she fumbled with the shirt that was still fully buttoned.


	170. Tonight I'm Gonna Hold You So Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of fluff! We are coming to the end of this fic (oh no!) but alas all good things must come to an end. I didn't expect this to reach this long to be honest. Not sure if we'll reach 200 but who knows? I just know we're almost there. Thank you for being with us for all this time. Will post a poll soon! 
> 
> Song: Daylight by Maroon 5
> 
> I actually watched their concert (because I was reminded of my Linkin' Park regrets) and I was happy about that because I got to watch it with Z (and also my sister and aunt).
> 
> -X

The reception to their duet was just as they’d expected. Of course she’d edited out their heated kiss and saved it as another file. There were calls for Ben to play Erik live and even a remake of the movie and the hashtag #PhantomBen and #AngelRey trended worldwide.

Of course she wasn’t trained properly as a singer so she’d never be able to actually perform on stage like that. Plus she wasn’t the best actress either. Still, it warmed her heart to know that her supporters loved it as much as she loved performing it.

She sat in the middle of the room she’d spent a blissful month in with Ben and smiled a little sadly. She won’t see this apartment anymore. She’d taken a few pictures of the place for sentimentality’s sake, some with Ben in it, others without.

She’d even taken a picture of the coffee table. Ben said it looked exactly like the one he’d shattered. She’d agreed to go back to LA on a Sunday so Ben could send her off. She was actually a little apprehensive to go back. The issues had died out and was replaced by other news and scandals and life went on.

The apartment was quiet. She’d said a whole month but really, they’d really only ever gone out on Sundays when he wasn’t filming. Most days it was just her and Rose hanging out and cooking together. She’d even showed her some of the lyrics she’d written. Then Ben and Hux would come home, sometimes before dinnertime if they were lucky but generally they came back after.

She didn’t really mind. He was almost done with work anyway and he’d be come home soon. She really wanted him to come home; she’d miss sleeping in his arms. A weighted blanket had nothing on Ben’s thick arms and wide chest as they surrounded her protectively.

He was her safe place.

He was her home.

For a moment terror gripped her heart at the thought of just how much she depended on him now. She trusted him when he said he loves her but what about in the future? He always sounded so sure when he talked about their future that she couldn’t help but be swept away into the beautiful daydream he painted.

It hadn’t even been half a year since they started dating and they’ve already been through so much.

She was glad that they were strong together though.

“Rey? I’m home,” She jolted a little; it was only barely three. Was Ben done already?

“I’m in the room!” She called out and listened to his heavy footsteps as they came closer. She stood and met him at the door, throwing her arms around his shoulders and giving him a smooch, “Welcome back,”

He eyed her open luggage and smiled ruefully, “Do you really have to go back?”

“Unfortunately,” She said, still holding him, “But you’ll be back in a month right?”

“A month and a half at most,” He said and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’m sorry I couldn’t spend so much time with you,”

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad to see you and spend some time with you. I missed sleeping in your arms,”

He arched a brow and smiled wryly, “Just sleeping?” She flushed.

“Yes,” She said stubbornly and he chuckled.

“How about we stay home and cook something tonight?” He asked, “We can go shopping. I know Hux is keeping Rose hostage tonight too,”

“Oh, so we’re having a hostage situation are we?” She laughed, “Would we be able to go home tomorrow?”

“What are you saying, I thought home is where I am?” His arms tightened around her, “Should I tie you up again?” He grinned and she squealed and wriggled away.

“You’re getting kinkier!” She said, laughing and dancing away from him, “I thought you said you weren’t kinky?”

“What can I say, my girlfriend brings out the best in me,” He caught her around the waist again, “She spoils me and lets me do what I want with her,” He leaned down and gave her neck a leisurely suck. She giggled, “You enjoy it anyway,”

“I didn’t say I didn’t,” She turned and stood on her toes to give him another kiss. Really, this man should be illegal.

“I love you, Rey.” He said, his eyes dark and deep and serious.

She cocked her head sideways and gave him a confused smile, “I love you too. Why all of a sudden?”

He shook his head and sighed a little, “I just wanted to let you know. Don’t forget,”

She laughed, “I won’t,” She said, “And don’t you forget either. I love you very much,”

He smiled then, that sweet simply smile that she loved, “I know.”

She wished tomorrow never comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also might not be able to update tomorrow depending on how painful my cramps would be 😢 as I grow older it seems to be getting worse 🤷♀️ The elders always tell me to have a child and it'll go away but children are big responsibilities and they are expensive AF. Not everyone's as rich as Ben Solo lol.
> 
> -X


	171. Here I Am Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it was a false alarm so yay for no bad cramps (auntie flo is not here yet lol) so I got to do stuff today! Hoping against all hope that once it does arrive one of these days it's not horrible 🙃 Thanks for all the kind words ❤️ 
> 
> -X

Rey busied herself in the recording studio. It’d been almost two months since she returned. They fine-tuned the song she made for Ben; they’d entitled it ‘ _Belonging’_ and she contemplated if they’d release it as a single first before putting it in with the rest of her _‘Studies of Love’_ album. They’d already finalised the other songs she’d written to be put into the album and recorded some of the tracks so she wondered if it was really necessary. Of course, it was about what Benmade her feel so she does want it to be somewhat more special. Then again, everything else was about Ben except for that one song she wrote about Finn and Poe that nobody knew about.

And speaking of that song about her friends, she’d asked Finn to come visit the studio, using the excuse that she wanted to see what he was planning for his wedding but Poe had been working her too hard that she didn’t have enough breaks aside from lunch.

So while they were eating their sandwiches, she presented their song. She’d done a sample recording at home, just so they know how it’d sound.

“What do you think?” She asked.

“It sounds great,” Finn said, “I like how ambiguous it sounds like it applies to anyone. But uh, some of your football terms are used wrong,”

“Why _are_ there football terms there?” Poe asked, “Though, it does sounds kind of like a nice, sweet, friendly, comfortable love between college sweethearts. Do we have to hire someone to play a football star?”

“You can help me fix it, right?” Rey asked.

“Of course, Rey Bey,” Finn laughed, “You know I’d help you any way I can.”

“Then, will you play the football kid in the music video?”

Finn reeled back in shock and Poe almost dropped his sandwich, “Say what, now?” Finn asked, “Bey, you know I’m a shittier actor than you.”

“Well, we survived college pretending like we’re a couple,” Rey said, “Nobody knew we were lying,”

“We were _living_ together of course they wouldn’t think otherwise,” Finn laughed incredulously.

“I mean, it’d also lower the production cost,” Rey appealed to Poe this time, pouting, “That means we can use the funds for something else, right?”

“Uh uh, those eyes won’t work on me, sunshine.” Poe clicked his tongue, “I’m not Solo,”

“But I wrote this song for you two,” She looked at the two of them, flashing them her best puppy-dog look and Finn groaned, “I’d really want the both of you to play the couple in the video,”

“Wait, me too?” Poe seemed to have brightened all of a sudden. He was still holding his sandwich though he looked like he’d forgotten all about it.

Rey nodded, “Why do you think I called it _‘No Bounds’_? I want people to relate to this song no matter their gender or sexuality and besides, you two inspired it. I’ve been writing it since last Christmas when I saw you two under all those lights. I even took a picture for inspiration!”

“I don’t know what to say,” Finn cleared his throat and looked away, looking almost embarrassed.

“Say you’ll be in the music video,” She grinned and Finn laughed and sighed at the same time, “You’ll be with Poe of course,”

“Hey, I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet,” Poe said and she turned to him.

“Are you saying you won’t do it?”

“Of course not,” He said quickly and then flushed, “I mean—,”

Finn sighed again and smiled ruefully, “Well, since Poe’s doing it, I guess I am too.”

“Great!” Rey grinned, “That’s settled then.”

“Man, Solo must have a hard time saying ‘no’ to you, huh?” Finn said with a laugh, “Our princess is spoiled,”

“I don’t think he’s really ever said ‘no’ to me,” Rey said with a frown, trying to think of a time when he’d rejected her. She couldn’t think of anything. Maybe it was because she never asked for anything unreasonable either?

“Speaking of Solo. When’s he coming back?” Poe asked.

Rey grinned again, “Next week, _finally_. Since we’re on the topic, I’m not working that week,” His filming schedule had been delayed because of the sudden weather changes they’d experienced in New York and Ben had been really cranky about it. Though, thankfully, he didn’t shatter the coffee table again.

“Naturally,” Poe laughed, “Don’t worry. Does Leia know yet?”

She shook her head, “Ben wanted to surprise her so keep her busy until we pick her up for dinner,”

“Gotcha,” Poe clicked his tongue and gave her a two-fingered salute, “Aren’t you glad I’m such a good manager?”

“Yes, you’re the best manager in Hollywood,”

“Nah, I’m the best in the world,” He winked and she laughed.

She thought again of how lucky she was. She really had no idea what she’d do without all of her friends.


End file.
